Latest / Pete Vs Anxiety!!!!! / How Expressive Arts Therapy Uncovers Trauma Hidden in the Mind's Shadows

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How Expressive Arts Therapy Uncovers Trauma Hidden in the Mind's Shadows · Pete Vs Anxiety!!!!!

• peter AI: Welcome to Voice of the Voiceless, an all audio podcast, where your story matters the most. Join Pete and Maddie as they venture this collaboration project. Be bold, be brave, be one of the voice of the voiceless. Peter: Welcome into another exciting episode of Voice of the Voices. ⁓ unfortunately, Maddie is not here today, but we invited a very special guest. Please welcome in Jewel. Jewel. Say hi to everybody. Jewel Blase: Hi everyone, I'm Jewel. I'm part of the Truth Table podcast, but I'm here today. Peter: So and our guest today is Alin. Alin, how you doing today? Tell everybody a little more about yourself. Alynne D: Hi, thank you so much for having me on and giving me this opportunity to share. I'm Elenn Davis. ⁓ ⁓ ⁓ wear a lot of different hats. ⁓ but I am a clinical mental health counselor and a expressive arts therapist and also a coach. I'm a mom. I raised two teenagers on my own. So ⁓ that is part of my life and part of my experience that I get to share with all my clients. ⁓ Peter: So so okay, let's back up. What was that second thing you said you were? 'Cause I don't think I've ever heard that term ever said in my life to me. Alynne D: Yeah. ⁓ an expressive arts therapist. Yeah. Peter: Yeah. So what is that exactly? Maybe elaborate on that for me. Alynne D: Yeah. I decided go back to count to school because I actually wasn't a therapist originally. I was a hairdresser for 20 years. And ⁓ as I starting to explore ⁓ where I to go in my next part of my career, I felt or where I should say I felt called to go. I started exploring going back to school for art therapy originally. ⁓ But as I started to into that profession and that path, I discovered ⁓ arts. ⁓ expressive arts ⁓ using form of creative modality that helps use nonverbal ⁓ of like so it's maybe it's art making, maybe it's poetry and writing. ⁓ Maybe it's dance movement, maybe it's music. it's ⁓ it's really interesting now to watch how many things are starting to like kind of branch more into this, especially in the healing space. And so when you pro you're probably more familiar with things like somatic work with like maybe sound healing or something like yoga, like that's movement therapy, right? So the but the Peter: Yeah. Yeah. Alynne D: Theory kind of behind expressive arts is that each modality actually deepens the process and kind of goes a little bit further into the subconscious. And it allows for things to kind of arrive in a safer sense, if that makes sense. Like you don't have to ver and a lot of times we don't have words, right? We don't have words for things that have happened to us, or we don't know how to explain or express. these feelings, so we can use these creative outlets to do that. Peter: Yeah, yeah, music definitely hits for me. But you know, art too, because with art you can do different things, you know, like a lot of expressive pieces you see that they don't make sense to other people, but they make sense to the person they're doing it. You know, and then when somebody explains it to you what their thought process is, either A, you're left thinking, What the hell am I looking at? or or ⁓ okay, I get it. You know what I mean? Like it's the one of the two options you're at at that point. But that that's really cool though. What got you into that though? Is that just something have you always are you big in art or s or music or any of those kind of things? Alynne D: Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I have always been an artist. I've always drawn and painted ⁓ and I would just call myself a creative soul because then I also was a singer ⁓ and I up being in theater for all a long time and minor and that. And so ⁓ that's actually of my work too. I do like drama therapy or psychodrama work. ⁓ and so yeah, I've just been always been a creative and a Peter: Okay. Mm-hmm. Alynne D: I've always just been different to be very frank. So something ⁓ Peter: It's just a she says it's been different the way she's looking at me like it too. I would say it's just kinda different. I'm like, okay, dude. Like I feel like you're like looking at me like, you get it, Pete. I'm like, what are you like I feel you're putting me on blast over here or something? But no, I get it though. It makes sense. So like music and it's always music's always expressive 'cause I've had some people on the main show I do, you know, we've talked about a lot of their music being thrived from mental health situations they dealt with and things they're going through and and stuff like that. So, you know, but music's universal if you really think about it, 'cause a lot of people, you know Jewel Blase: Mm-hmm. Alynne D: Yeah. Peter: use music to feel better. You know, like yeah, one song that you always listen to, you know, like my main chal asks people, like, you know, what if your menthol had a song, what would it be? So, you know, and then people had to think about what that song would be, you know, and it Alynne D: Ooh. That's actually a perfect example of an intervention I might do with a client, especially when I'm like working with like adolescents. A lot of times they really can resonate more with music. And like if they can't express something that's going on, I might ask them to find a song that has the lyrics, maybe, or the beat or the sound to that. Like, what does that bring up for you in your body? And like what does that help, you know? Peter: Yeah. Mm, mm-hmm. Alynne D: you know, hit for you, I guess, right? Like I do ⁓ yeah, so I that's a perfect example of kind of giving an Peter: Yeah. Yeah, you know, 'cause you've seen lately on TikTok, what is it, that emotionless light song Alone in the Dark or whatever it is? Afraid of the Dark, that song of Emotional Light, that one I'll end of the last lyrics of the song where it's like, you know, now I know the creature, the dark kind of thing. That whole thing. You always see people using it though, but I mean it makes sense though, because it makes sense in the moment of what you're saying. So, you know, that's why I always I love music though. Me and a me and another guest, we had talked about it for like an hour and a half about this girl that he had known that was twelve years old. That she was struggling with a lot of things and he was using music as a therapy for, like, you know, they'll have her write a song with him. Unfortunately, now they lost her a few hours later because she ended up committing suicide after she started writing this song with him. It was a real t hard story to listen to. Me and him were talking about it, but the effects in music alone were just still there. It's just like, you know, you all have that song or those those playlists you put together and things like that. So a lot of times I was doing that too for people, you know, putting together what my mental health felt like that day or that week, you know, and I put together a different song list. Alynne D: One. Peter: of things that just kind of describe different things, you know, the emotions I'm feeling, you know. So I I get the whole expressive thing. I think it's really cool, honestly. I think it's a very interesting way for people that don't like like r talk therapy or don't you know, but there's so many different things nowadays you do hypnotherapy and somatic and all those different things. Alynne D: Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. And I do a lot of layering. I love I like it a lot because it's ver helps me be more individualized for the client, right? Like it just certain things are gonna work for certain people. You know, there's not just one size fits all. So Peter: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, there's a girl on Instagram I saw recently. She's doing sculptures about different mental health things. And they're really cool the way that they come out, you know. And I was like, man, they were they're really cool to see. And I know there's a girl on TikTok that does a lot of paintings of it too. You know, for people that really don't get get what it's like to be in these realms for people, you know. And when I started Peter's Anxiety, that's what I was doing. I started exploring different avenues of things that people deal with and try to get real statements from people like what they deal with. Because like people don't understand what a lot of these things are. You hear ⁓ but you're like, ugh, you know. Jewel Blase: Yeah. Alynne D: Yeah. Peter: Like BPD, a lot of people think it's bipolar, but it's really borderline personality disorder, you know. And you and I know what it is. You know, I mean, Julie you may know what it is too. I'm not, you I don't know how the extent of that is, but you know what I'm saying? Like, you know, a lot of people associate it with different things, but you know, when you really look at it on a spectrum, it's way different. And then a lot of these individuals get characterized as crazy or difficult to deal with, but it's really not. It's what they're dealing with, you know. And you know, we have these phones, but it's great, we use them for everything but looking up this information to see that what these people deal with. Alynne D: Mm-hmm. Jewel Blase: Yeah. Alynne D: Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Well, and you know, a lot of that is actually complex PTSD is what actually a lot of personality disorder stuff is. So I think it gets really a bad rap. people don't really know exactly, ⁓ know, what that person is really dealing with internally. Jewel Blase: Yeah. Peter: Yeah. Exactly. I think I think it's a really good point. Jewel Blase: Yeah, I have bipolar too and I kind of I kind of deal with things and like I use dark humor and people that don't know me, like it makes them really uncomforta it makes them really uncomfortable. But it's kind of like a way of like I don't know, dealing with it or like healing healing in like my own way. Peter: Mm-hmm. Alynne D: I love that. I mean, that's something that I might use too is like it externalizing the character of these different feelings or these different things that are going on for us. It's an it's a much easier way to access, I think, sometimes. And if you have a dark you know, like dark humor might be part of that part of you, you know. Peter: Yeah, but I mean it makes sense. You can joke about your own mental health problems, but people don't get it. Like Jul was saying, some people that don't know her don't realize that's what she's doing though. And I think it's funny because I met a guy, me and him had a conversation about that. Like that's what he did. He taught people how to use comedy but to deal with their own issues. You know, like if you can't laugh at yourself, then what c what are you gonna laugh at? You know what I mean? It I get the dark jokes. It great with me, like I'll make some too sometimes for people. And people just like, yeah. But it's not it's not meant to upset you, it's meant to you know, just kinda how I'm feeling. Jewel Blase: Yeah. Alynne D: ⁓ yeah. Well, you know, I love to hear when people are uncomfortable, you know, that's just something I always see as that's the thing that probably they haven't dealt with. So it's okay. Peter: Yeah. Yeah. Jewel Blase: Right. I remember at work once at work one time someone was like it was like Monday and someone was asking me how my weekend went and I was like, ⁓ it was just one of those I kind of wanted to throw a toaster in the bathtub with me kind of weekend. And I ended up getting called into HR because it made them feel so uncomfortable. I was like, I'm sorry. I was like, it was just a joke. Like like ⁓ Peter: I love it. I love it. Alynne D: Yeah. Jewel Blase: That's it. It was just a joke. Alynne D: Yeah. Peter: Yeah, my boss told me the other time, she's like, You need to pick your audience because we were discussing why people don't get along with me sometimes. She's like, I think people like to joke with you and then realize that you're just too good at picking back at ⁓ and they get mad. And it's like, I I can't help it. I'm sorry. I'm just good at it. You know, I'm quick at responses too. And she she's like, Yeah, you know, we were discussing that the other day, 'cause we were talking about the same thing. Like, I I'm surprised HR hasn't been called for some of the jokes I make with people. But it's like it's just I'm just all fun banter. Jewel Blase: Yeah. Yeah. Peter: You know, because like I joke with other people and the same situation with the dark humor thing. It's like when you banter with certain people, they get it and then you realize what people don't get it, because then they get all of their feelings and it's like it's not like that. We're we understand what's going on. Now it may too appear to you that we're going at it, but we're having a great time over here. We're laughing about everything, you know, and things like that too, you know? And and it's it makes me laugh because it when people do get uncomfortable and they're like, ⁓ well it's like All right, let's talk about it. Why are you uncomfortable though? What makes it so uncomfortable? You what I But they don't want to do that part. They're like, ⁓ I don't want to talk about it. Well then don't say you're uncomfortable. Exactly. Alynne D: Exactly. Well, that's the vulnerability. That's the vulnerability, right? Like learning how to be vulnerable and having that conversation. That's a big part of the work that I feel like I do all the time is like, you know, providing a space just so that we can share and talk about those really feelings that, you know, we even talk about resistance. That's what a sense assist essentially you're talking about, right? Is there's a reason we want Peter: Yeah. Alynne D: to talk about certain things. We are prot that's a protective part of us, right? Like that's a but that goes back to shame. and that only way that we can actually dispel shame and heal that is by bringing it out into the light and actually talking about it in a compassionate way so that we can really start to break down those narratives that keep us really trapped and stuck. Peter: I feel like a lot of people try to, but they do it in the wrong sentence of you know, way they're doing it, because they go like the internet, which yeah, it's not a good place, not a good place to go do that at guys, you know. No, because we've had several people that I've talked to before, especially Maddie, too. She she'd gone on and told people what she deals with. She schizoaffective, so she has a bunch. So trying to explain that to someone doesn't really get things, you know. She's on the internet sharing her story, and people are telling her to go to the mental hospital, realizing she not really she has been to all these places. I've been, I know I'm crazy, you ain't gotta tell me. Alynne D: ⁓ yeah. Peter: You know, and it it's it's scary because the the internet is a scary place. Like we've already discussed this and we have a group conversation we do Wednesdays. We get together with a friend of mine, Uncle Jimmy, and we talk about this and we were looking at the statistics and in kids alone, mental health and the kids alone went in the internet, it's not a great com mix. Fifty six percent say it's not effective. So then why do we allow them to still be on there so much? That's the real question we have to start asking ourselves. That too. That too. Alynne D: How do we keep ⁓ from getting on there though? I have two teachers, you know, and literally I've I don't they're so smart. Like we could lock down everything and they still find a way. I mean, so Peter: Okay, so let me let me ask you this question. Are you open with them about their mental health and things like that? I mean, obviously that's your area, you know, it's gotta be an open dialogue conversation, especially with them being teenagers and how complex it is for ⁓ you know? Alynne D: Yeah. Yeah, one hundred percent. It's really interesting. ⁓ so I have a daughter and then I have a son. My daughter's older and my son is the young younger one. And ⁓ it you know, she is very open, very ⁓ open to counseling, is asked specifically sometimes like, Hey, I need to go back to counseling, I need to th see a therapist. My son, on the other hand, much more resistant. ⁓ you know, and I think it's his relationship with himself as well as potentially me. Peter: Yeah. Jewel Blase: Right. Alynne D: or even mental health, right? Like I still it's it's interesting to watch because as much information as they do have out there, which I thought would help like the stigmatation, you know, and like make it more v ⁓ to be vulnerable, like it still affects them ⁓ where, you know, he doesn't really want to talk. He doesn't really want to, you know, so Peter: Yeah. Jewel Blase: Okay. Peter: Because we're men. We see these things, he sees these other people, these larger life figures that say don't do it because it makes you less of a man. ⁓ my my real concern for his age range, though, is that ten to fourteen in that age range are the suicide rates went up this year alone. Like the beginning of this year, they released some of the statistics and it's on the uprise, which is a scary thought because that's ten to fourteen. You you Most people make it to fifty, sixty before the end of trying you know what I mean? Like that's you're forty years Alynne D: I mean, he's fifteen and we've had the most problems for the last two years, honestly. Peter: That's what I'm saying though. That's that's my biggest concern is that that on the uptick and it's just like, you know, and then the whole situation where ChatGPT was like, you know, talking about how that one kid ended up killing himself 'cause Chat GPT was telling him how to do it, you know, 'cause I partnered with an AI app and and that was one of the questions a lot of people asked me about. It was like, ⁓ is it gonna tell me how to kill myself like Chat GPT? No, it's not because it the guy that invented it, Jules, it said he literally went to that way to make sure he disabled anything. Alynne D: Mm. Yeah. Peter: Leading tent. If it went to that card of a conversation that it'll ask them, Hey, ⁓ do you want to contact, you know, 98 or whatever, whatever country you whatever fits for that? You can just like, do we need to call the cops or need to phone your local police department and let them know there's a problem? Like in the Apple prompt them to if you're feeling that like unsafe, do we need to go to these next tents? Alynne D: Yeah. Yeah. I would love to know though how effective that really is because when you're in that place, you know, a lot of people are not gonna take that route, even if you suggest it. I hate to say it. Like, you know so Jewel Blase: Yeah. Peter: Yeah. Yeah, no, I agree. Jewel Blase: Like I'm on I mostly post on TikTok and I'm like a TikTok live host. So I like with my ADHD like I know what I wanna say, but like I I explain it and it takes me like twenty minutes to explain it. So I use like I use the voice thing and I say to chat like what I wanna say and then it like it like compresses like my big humongous thought into like exactly what I wanna say and Alynne D: Mm-hmm. Jewel Blase: whenever like and I post about mental health, bipolar and ADHD and anxiety and stuff. when ⁓ depending on like what I'm saying to chat, it does actually prompt me and it's like do it like, it'll like just so you know, like, it's okay to like whatever and do you need to call nine eight eight or ⁓ Peter: Mm-hmm. Alynne D: Yeah, they've definitely changed that since the they first launched. I mean they I mean they had to, I am assuming. Peter: Yeah. Well, after the Facebook ruling too now, Facebook has to police their own sites and things like that. Then you notice the Instagram kids account came out where parents can monitor what kid who kids are talking to and all that kind of stuff. All of a sudden it showed up now. Now that they have to police their sites because Facebook and Instagram are in partnership together. They're basically both under the same branding title, but different titles and names of apps. But they're th that whole thing came out. It was a big interesting turn because, you know, these individuals would go online and say crazy shit and then nobody say nothing to them. ⁓ well, you know, you're not that's why they're so strict now. ⁓ you know, in TikTok especially, you got to be careful with what you say because these guys will shut you down instantly. ⁓ you get a warning for saying this, or you get a warning for saying even though you're having an intellectual conversation, it's like, ⁓ you can't do it. But you want us to be expressive, but then you want to you want to calm calm down the conversation. Well, that this is truly an 18 plus app, then we should be able to have an adult conversation and it not be a problem, you know what I'm saying? But I get flagged all the time whenever I'm talking about certain things. Jewel Blase: And Right. Peter: Even if I'm coding the words, so they still catch in Jewel Blase: do I it'll like take it'll say like ⁓ something like ineligible for like the FYP or something and then I go I always go in and I appeal it and then most of the time it gets approved Peter: Mm-hmm. Yeah, but you know what I'm saying? It's like you want us to be individuals. We're trying to have an actual conversation on something that needs to be discussed. And then you're telling us we're not allowed to talk 'cause we're adults. That's the whole point we're here, is cause it's adults. Like there shouldn't be kids. Which kids are still gonna figure out how to all figured it anyways. VPNs and all the other you saying. Alynne D: I was gonna say I think that's probably Jewel Blase: My son my son now, he's si seventeen, but like whenever he was in middle school, like all the kids nowadays, like they want social media. But like you have to be a s technically a certain age to have it. Well, all you do is go in and change their birth date. So I found that ⁓ whenever whenever my son wanted one, he was like th thir twelve or thirteen. So I Facebook actually had that thing at that time where you could set up Peter: Mm-hmm. The kids one, yeah. Jewel Blase: parental whatever. And so like that's what we did for the longest time. And he doesn't know it, but it's still set up ⁓ way. But like a a lot of his friends are on my accounts and like they're always looking me up and they're coming into my live rooms. So like I always make sure like I can tell whenever it's them based on like what they're saying in the chat. And so I always make sure to like talk about Peter: I mean, you're not wrong though. Mm-hmm. Jewel Blase: specifically like teen mental health, like whenever I can see them in the room, because I know a lot of them do struggle with mental health and ⁓ like a lot of them have like autism or like ADHD and stuff like that. and I know his one friend who comes in like he has like severe depression and like he actually had to leave school because like I mean he was like his mom was getting letters ⁓ I think they're like truancy letters. Peter: Yeah. Jewel Blase: ⁓ because he was out of school he was out of school more than he was in school. So she ended up pulling him out and doing home schooling. And I remember my one cousin, she actually got bullied in school so badly that she ended up having to get pulled out and do home schooling. it's crazy right now. Alynne D: Mm. ⁓ Peter: Yeah, but the history of bowling has always been there. Though think about it, they seem confused. Remember what they were doing? They were paddling those kids in that movie out of that small town out of where the hell they filmed it here in Texas where I'm at. They I think they did it somewhere near San Antonio, if I remember right. They they filmed it, but that whole movie, that was the thing. That they were running around paddling people, you know, and then when you go say something to these schools they're ⁓ well no, it's just they're just playing Alynne D: Mm-hmm. Peter: Really? But when does it end though when these kids are doing things or harming themselves or taking their own lives? You know, when does the bullying get too much that we need to stand up and say something about it, you know? Especially the kids that are their special needs and nothing else. Alynne D: Well the sad thing is though the kids won't always talk about it either. That's where a lot of it yeah, that's where a lot of it happens too. Peter: Exactly. Jewel Blase: They won't. He had a kid, this was like maybe two or three years ago. There was this kid, It was so sad. Like apparently he was like being bullied online and being bullied in school. He didn't tell anybody. Like he kept it all to himself. one night, his ⁓ his came home from work and she found him hanging by a belt in his closet ⁓ because just couldn't deal with it anymore. But he just kept it all inside. Like he was too ashamed to talk about it. Peter: He was like eating bull weed online and ⁓ Jesus. mom. Jesus. Yeah, that's rough. Alynne D: Mm. I think that's what I really think is the the reform needs to happen in the school. I mean, I think that's I would I we really need more trauma informed schools in my opinion. you know, when you're ta even when as I was thinking about what you were talking about with like Facebook and Instagram and them now finally kind of stepping up to the plate, well, who's helping form these businesses? Are they trauma informed? Probably not, right? Like ⁓ know, because if there was more people on staff that were helping ⁓ Peter: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. No. You got a good point though. Good point. Jewel Blase: Thanks. Alynne D: I think this, you know, the administration, the teachers, all of them understand better what to be looking for, what to be see you know, because behaviors are what kids show us. They don't usually talk about it. They do it through behavior. And so many people judge that so harshly, like they're being like disrespectful or they're just spiteful. Well, no, the most of the time kids are just hurting. Kids are just like, you know, things are going on at home. Maybe they're Peter: Mm-hmm. Jewel Blase: Mm-hmm. Alynne D: are witnessing domestic violence. Maybe they're not sleeping because they're so anxious and that's why they're falling asleep in class. It's not because they want to be falling asleep in class and being lazy. Right. Like so I think that is one of the big things that's missing. Peter: Yeah. I I I think that's all a great point. So I think to really think that's really what it comes down to is we need more trauma, trauma-informed people involved in everything. You know, with the with everything going on when when COVID hit, especially everything started coming to the forefront, all these people's issues started showing up, but what did we do? We didn't do anything about it. We just kept sweeping it under the rug. Think of all the school shootings that happened. What's the number one thing they all mentioned? ⁓ well, they had mental health issues. Okay, so then why don't we do something about this problem? Why continue with these heinous acts for these poor kids? You know, like Sandy Hook and all these other ones that and then the one here in Texas where that one got out of hand. You know, all the things like that. Why don't we do something about this? Why are we allowing this to continue to happen instead of trying to help these individuals or if we know there's something wrong, work on a better system, but we don't, you know? ⁓ but Betty and I actually are gonna have a senator when I get back from this past week this next week from when I get back from my trip from Chicago to see my daughter graduate high school. ⁓ we're gonna we're gonna talk and sit down with the senators actually pushing for that for kids. To get more mental health help, you know, and things like that too. So we'll have to ask him about what he thinks about pushing for that for schools as well, too. What do you with if he has any ideas or any plans for that? Because I think that's a really good question you brought up, though. You're really good point too. Is that something probably we need to start asking him too? It's like, are we gonna do something with these problems? Are we gonna continue to let this be an issue and just keep saying nothing's wrong? But then is, there's something wrong because these guys aren't talking about it because they're ashamed of about it, you know, and that's why I push so hard with my main show. Jewel Blase: I don't know what Peter: It's just creating that safe space for people to come talk about it. Cause there's people that have told me some some wild stories. Like we hit record, and let me tell you, you do you go off. You go off into some tangents and some stories and it and they'll feel so comfortable to tell you about it though. And it's great. And then I'm traumatized afterwards. I may need some help after some of these episodes because there's a girl that was on TikTok that came out and was telling us that she got bullied so bad. She went home, drank bleach, and slid her wrist and was lacing laying there for dead. Alynne D: Yeah. Peter: And and yeah, trust me, when she said that I was speechless the rest of the time. Like I was like, Huh? Wait, what did you just say to me? You know, it's like it it's it's lot. And then what was it? This past season we're just I just wrapped up season three, we the like fourth or fifth person in, she was like, I got sexually assaulted and people were making fun of me. Look, you're making fun of something. Alynne D: Yeah well. Jewel Blase: Just gonna mention that. I was gonna mention what was that story about how you ranted on camera that you mentioned on our Peter: ⁓ yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So the guest the guest name is ⁓ Holly ⁓ Holly ⁓ Holly Hag is the guest name. So if you go look at season three, Holly Hag's the interview you're looking for, Jewel. If you go look at it, ⁓ that's the one I went on camera and I ranted for about five minutes because I was pissed. I was like, You're gonna sit there and make fun of somebody for being sexually assaulted, like they chose for these things to happen to him. That's fucking despicable. I was going off because I was so pissed. I'm like, like, how are you gonna make fun of somebody? Who's traumatized now the rest of her life and it didn't even remember anything actually, in fact she didn't know about it. Exactly. Alynne D: That's where we have so much lack of compassion in our in our collective, honestly. I think I actually feel like it got worse since COVID. I don't know what happened, what switched, it's just like people are probably Yeah. Yeah. Peter: The internet. More people on the internet, think about it, because you to be more people to get on the internet. And when we looked at the statistics with Uncle Jimmy, fifty six percent of kids say it's not positive for ⁓ So that's that's where this all started, is because now the internet was born. It got even bigger than it was before, 'cause we start remember we had AOL and all these other things. It was different. You had to look at somebody to say something, or you had to go into one of these pop popular chat rooms. Jewel Blase: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Alynne D: Well, I mean that's that makes sense too because right, like there's so much of a rise of social anxiety. People can't real kids don't know how to have like they don't have social skills now a lot of times. Peter: Mm-hmm. Jewel Blase: My son does not have any at all. Like he he has ⁓ a physical coming up and he's like I said, he's 17 now and he's driving and everything. And I remember whenever I was a kid at like 15 I was going to the doctors by myself. And so I was like, Do you want to do this one on your own? And he's like, No. He's like, I have no idea what I'm doing. He's like, I've never done this before. He's like, I need you to come with me. Peter: Yeah. Alynne D: Well and you know, and I I hate to say this, but as a Peter: Gonna traumatize that poor kid. He's like, ⁓ God. Jewel Blase: No. Alynne D: Well, as parents, I think that's part of our responsibility, right? Is to help them learn social skills and to encourage them to do it in a compassionate kind and a safe environment, right? Like I started doing that with my children from age five on. And it was like just as small as go up to the person at Chick-fil-A and ask for your own ice cream cone. You know, it was just like you, you know, you can't throw them into the deep water, right? Like you want to do it and it's age appropriate, right? But like starting Peter: Yeah. Jewel Blase: Yeah. Alynne D: ⁓ we have to model that for them. We have to, you know, mentor them essentially. That's our job, right? Peter: Yeah. Jewel Blase: Yeah. I so I have really bad social anxiety and I absolutely hate making phone calls. Like I am a texting person like a thousand percent I do not like making phone calls. And so my son, he's like starting to like look for jobs and such. And like if whenever I was his like back then, you had to like make always make like a follow up call. And Alynne D: Mm-hmm. Peter: Mm-hmm. Yep, I remember that was. Alynne D: Yeah. Jewel Blase: He so like I that's what I'm trying to teach him and he gets so nervous I literally have to write out like 'cause like for giant like I don't know if you guys have giant food stores where you're at, but that's what it is here. And literally so like whenever you call in you get the front desk ⁓ I have to literally write him like a script, like hi, my name is blah blah blah blah blah. Alynne D: Yeah. Jewel Blase: I had an interview and I am just calling to follow up on that. And then I have to write him another script for in case he gets to the manager to ask about the like the interview and like if he got the job I have to write out another script. And then you can tell whenever like she's like asking like something that I didn't write down because he gets all tunk tied and like he doesn't know what to say. Alynne D: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Well, at least you're helping him along. Sometimes scripts are needed. I mean, you know, the more he does it right, the more he'll build that muscle repetition. He'll get more confident. I mean, I think that's great that you're supporting him like that. There's nothing, there's no shame in that. Peter: That's funny. ⁓ no. I think it's great. Think that you're helping him understand how to to how to form the even form the sentence of what to say so he has a better idea structurally what he should do. I mean it it's it's a great idea. For somebody like you said, for somebody who doesn't have any social skills, you're teaching him how to how to handle a phone call conversation even you don't like doing, but we had to do those. I remember those, man. You had to call and follow up. Now everything's on the internet only. Like everybody where where I'm at too, so Jewel Blase: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you could just like go in and you can check your application status and it'll be like, still reviewing or ⁓ nope, you didn't get it. ⁓ Alynne D: Mm. Mm-hmm. Well, and everything's like I remember I'm older probably than both of you guys. And so we used to have to go in and fill it out. I mean, you know, you hand fill it out, turn it into the manager. You pretty much have to talk to them to even find out if you can get an application. So it's so different now. Peter: Yeah, I remember those two, yeah. Jewel Blase: Yeah. Peter: Yeah, but it was the hiring process was faster then too, because you at least are talking directly too. So now it's like where I'm at, it takes forever to get people in and like we lose people so fast, then it's like you don't have anybody replace them and it's just complete chaos. And I'm like, ⁓ great, here we go. It's like how long's it gonna take? And then whoever's hiring these people where I work, I I just I I I don't know. I wanna look at how you're I wanna what you're asking these people. Cause some of these guys you send over, I'm I'm sorry. I just don't know where you found them at. Jewel Blase: Right. Peter: Like they have no idea. Like I work as very simple job. It's not hard to do, but they can't even follow simple instructions these days. And it's it's scary because it's like I'm not asking you to do much. Like literally I do more than you do. I'm just asking you to pretty much do a few things, clean a few things, and then talk to people that'll register. So it's not hard, you know, but you find grown adults that can't even do that. I'm like, ⁓ God, help us all now. Here we go, you know. I and to your point. ⁓ Jewel Blase: Yeah. And I remember back to the whole school thing, after that kid did what he did. I mean my son, he he's in like a rich school district. ⁓ we're not rich by any means, but ⁓ yeah, so they brought in they actually brought in ⁓ psych like ⁓ children psychologists. And like they have three on staff and they implemented a program. I forget what it's called, I think it's like see something, say something or like that. Peter: Mm-hmm. Jewel Blase: And so like if like say like a student like goes to like a friend and says something concerning, like they're gonna harm someone or themselves or something like that, that friend feels uncomfortable, ⁓ have like an anonymous kind of program where they can go and they can report that information ⁓ that child can get more help, but they can report it anonymously. It's not like a Alynne D: Mm-hmm. Jewel Blase: This person told me that you said this to them. Like it's not like a punishment kind of thing. It's like a more of like what is going on? Like they just want to like get to the bottom of it, like before it becomes too much. Alynne D: Mm-hmm. Peter: Yeah. Yeah, get them more talking more. Yeah. Makes sense. I mean, 'cause guess that's what she was saying too. Same thing with Lee was saying the same thing. She's like, ⁓ well, you know, they don't talk, that's the problem. Her son doesn't say anything, but this way at least they're saying something to somebody about something they're saying. Alynne D: Well, yeah. And that's I think our school, I'm pretty sure both of our schools have that as well. Like, you know, it's great because you're right, like being anonymous. Well, heck, I've noticed a trend on social media where people now are in groups and they only post anonymously when it used to never even be an option, which I've just been really curious about that myself because I'm like, why does everybody feel like they have to hide? Why can't we Peter: Mm-hmm. Jewel Blase: Well like even on like even if you're friends with the person nowadays, you can still mark the post as like anonymous. Alynne D: Yes, yes. Isn't that I think that's disconnecting us. I think it's again disconnecting us from our humanity ⁓ ⁓ Jewel Blase: It's creepy. Peter: Listen, I'm gonna be honest with y'all. If y'all hang out some of the Facebook groups I hung out in the nineties, yeah. Being anonymous is probably the best thing for the things that got said in those groups. Like, you know, I refer to Call of Duty lobbies a lot for anybody that doesn't play games enough. yeah, those were pretty bad. Like the things that we said in there were just whoo, man. It was it was horrible. Like we said some very terrible things to each other. So some of these groups I was hanging in, they have some dark humor things. It's like people don't want to be known, but they're posting some pretty r pretty bad things in there. Alynne D: Well, that's like giving them permission to do it if you can do it anonymously anyway. Think about it, because what it does Peter: But how anonymous is it really? 'Cause I guarantee on Facebook's side they know who's posting it though. You know what I'm saying? From that sense I I could almost feel like they're like, Okay, cool, you can post and say it's anonymous, but we know who you are that's posting this. Like you have some kind of IP trail that somebody knows what your account's linked to. Jewel Blase: Right. Alynne D: Mm. Jewel Blase: Right. I feel like if it like became too much and like someone needed to find out like who that was, like there's still some way that they can find that out. Peter: ⁓ I believe it. I believe it a hundred percent. There is it there's no way now. After that court case came down and they cracked on about having to police their own sites about the crazy stuff that kids said on Facebook, especially, like, you know, a lot of the posts they all these wild like posts these guys are putting out there that they were leading up to the events of what happened. ⁓ yeah, I guarantee they know exactly who it is for that reason. Alynne D: Again, but it's not teaching accountability whatsoever. Unfortunately, I think this is another part of the conversation, right? Like kids are on this being able to post and not be accountable. And that's where that that loops back to the bullying, right? Like people are doing this not being accountable. ⁓ Peter: Yeah, it isn't. Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah, I agree. Jewel Blase: And I don't know why this just popped in my head, but I I was I forget where I saw it. I feel like I saw it on Facebook, but there was this story I don't remember where it was the kid was from, but he was on TikTok, and this boy was like he was probably like eight or nine years old. Like he he was really young. And he saw this trend where there was like this certain toy, and ⁓ like big influencers were putting this toy in the microwave and they were ⁓ melting it. And I forget what the purpose of melting it was, but ⁓ this little boy he did the same thing, but w it wasn't with this specific toy, it was just with an action figure. Peter: ⁓ no. Jewel Blase: And it ended up exploding. Like the microwave exploded. And he ended up with a face full of burning plastic on his face. And the pictures of this little boy's face, they were so ⁓ was just so sad. ⁓ sad. Like this boy had like third degree burns on his face, all from watching ⁓ on TikTok. Alynne D: Mm. Peter: Jesus. Yeah. See? Well I tell you, the internet's a dangerous place. Stupidity runs deep out there. Alynne D: Mm, mm. ⁓ Whew. This'll just make you this whole conversation will just make you really depressed. Jewel Blase: Yeah. Peter: But I mean it's it's it's real though. It's like, you know, now helicopter parenting is a need because if you're not watching what they're doing, you don't know what the hell they're watching. Especially you can't even let kids play Roblox these days with all the predators that are wandering around on there, too. And that was a crazy thing too when that came out because the guy was going through the internet, it was hunting them down on there. They Roblox told them to cease and desist. I'm like, but you're telling a guy that's pointing out the factors, these predators that are hidden on your game. Alynne D: Yeah. Peter: He's exposing them to get people to get them off of there and you're telling him to stop, but why? Why are you telling them to stop? You know, and I forgot what the follow up to that was. I think it was somebody was they were they were contributing a lot of money or something. Like what It it had to they had to s I think that's what it was. So it was something like that. It was like, but but you got pr you're getting them prey on little kids, man. What the hell's wrong with you? Like, huh? Alynne D: I was gonna say it had to be financial more than likely. Jewel Blase: God forbid if my son ever sees this episode, but he'll find out all my secrets. But I actually have because like all of his social media is it's all linked to his email. Everything he does is linked to his email. But what he doesn't know is that I'm cause on Google, on Gmail, you can log in as like however many accounts is like I have like six accounts logged in and I get alerts on of his ⁓ emails and I've caught him doing things on there that he wasn't supposed to do. So like I was able to catch him like get no, like we don't do that kind of thing. Peter: Ha ha ha. Alynne D: Well, I'm glad that you can keep up with that because my son has gotten three different burner phones. So that's the other thing that ha that's what I'm saying. So yeah. Well, he doesn't he doesn't have a job. He don't have a job. Peter: I mean, but it's but it's necessary. What the hell? Jewel Blase: See, my son still hasn't found a job, so he can't get burner phones yet. Peter: How does he get the burner balls? What is he doing? Alynne D: I'm telling you guys, these kids they help each other out. They will help create fake accounts. Yeah, exactly. I mean we've had we've ⁓ Jewel Blase: It's it's probably in school. Peter: It's a criminal network going on over there. So these Jewel Blase: Like they can just trade anything. Like say this kid has a burner phone and your son has something that this kid wants, they could just make a trade. Alynne D: Right. Exactly. Exactly. They're smart. That's what I'm saying. Like we really and so that's been like 'cause everybody's like, Don't you have ⁓ locked down, don't you? And I'm like, we do the best that we freaking can, but like they if they want it, they're going to get it. They're gonna find a way. Peter: That's scary. That's scary. Jewel Blase: I can learn. Peter: Exactly. It's almost like Jewel Blase: And people think I'm crazy because I keep I have a blank camera pointed like I have one on the inside of my door, like right in front of the front door, and then I have one on the outside. And I pretend that they're for like ⁓ but no, like I remember I snuck out of the house when I was his age. I was like, He ain't sneaking out without me finding out ⁓ Alynne D: Mm, mhm. Peter: I can just see it now. He's on the camera. What are you doing? I don't I don't blame you. You do. You really do these days. Especially with the statistics we were looking at with Uncle Jimmy, man. It was scary. And I'm like, dude, just think about the things they see. Like then those what it was. The videos that always piss me off recently were those suicide videos. We're like, well, after you take your life, you'll get 20,000 messages. I'm like, well, hmm. I d I don't really think you should be posting this shit. Like, why? Why are you posting this video? Because me and a Jewel Blase: It's like you have to be a helicopter parent these days. Like you just have to be a helicopter parent. Peter: Me and a guy, ⁓ I can't think of where he was named from, but we had a conversation about this exact thing, and I was asking him, and he was like, you know, when you're at a certain point in your mindset, when you're gonna commit suicide, when you're at you're not listening to anything. So those those videos are relevant. So if you're on the edge of it, it's gonna push you to it. And then if you're there, it ain't gonna matter because you're not listening to anybody else anything saying. So at that point, you're like, these are counterproductive because everybody wants to be mental health friendly, but it's like Alynne D: Mm. Peter: You're doing it the wrong way though. Like you all post things like for the month of May, but then after that, watch how many people still continue the conversation. Like, ⁓ okay, what's been a fun month? We're done talking about it. It's like, no, this continues to happen. Like you don't realize it just doesn't go away. We can't just flip a switch off and go, Okay, well I'm done feeling depressed today. You know it's not how it works. Jewel Blase: Well, I don't wanna say the name just to like pr protect people, but like I don't know if you guys saw on TikTok recently or it was at the beginning of the year, but it just popped up on my FYP the other day. This ⁓ father he up going to his social media, his TikTok page, and he left two videos. was a goodbye to his kids and another one a goodbye to his mom. Peter: No, I don't think I've seen that. Jewel Blase: And then he ended up committing suicide. The family did get the videos down, but of course, like people did the whole stitching thing and the duet thing. And so like the videos are still out there and it's so sad. Alynne D: Yeah. Well that's a that's a sort of What? People are like using them? That's cra mm. I mean those are prime indicators. Peter: I might have to look this up, I T Have you never been if you never been on TikTok, it's wild. It's wild. Jewel Blase: It's like it's people chasing it's people chasing virality. Like everyone is out there trying to chase virality. So they're out there using this huge story isn't even their story. ⁓ they're just using it to try to get more more followers, like a bigger gaining, because they're just chasing the re virality of it. Like they just want this money, and everyone thinks that social media is this great big easy money gig whatever. ⁓ Peter: Mm-hmm. Jewel Blase: And they're just always after that virality, and that's not the reality of it. So they use these stories. I can't tell you how many like there was this little boy recently there ⁓ mental issues. He was unmedicated because his parents didn't believe in like mental health issues, and he ended up killing his dad in the middle of the night here in Pennsylvania. And I tell you how many people from other states got a hold of that story. ⁓ Alynne D: Yeah. Jewel Blase: And they were just using it to try to get more more gaining more followers. Alynne D: I think that's what's so sad about how now it's so nor I almost feel like it's so normalized mental health, but it's not in the sense of it's not created this more no, it's not like, ⁓ let's be compassionate, let's be c empathetic, let's be caring about what this is actually happening to this person and to their life. It's more like people are, you know, utilizing it, it sounds like for you know, for their their benefit, essentially. Jewel Blase: Not in the safe way. Peter: Mm-hmm. Jewel Blase: Mm-hmm. Alynne D: And then that I think is what also is changing ⁓ people wanting to talk about it, right? Like 'cause they're like, Well, I don't I don't know if I wanna share because this could happen, you know? Jewel Blase: Right. Peter: Yeah, that's why most Jewel Blase: That's why I talk about it the way that I do. Like I talk about like on my page. talk about like how real like how it really feels like ⁓ and try to connect to that person through like feelings and make it relatable. But like other people, they're just like you said, out there like they're using it the opposite way. They're using it, I can't tell you like Peter: Yeah. Alynne D: Mm. Yeah. Well, they're weaponizing it in a sense, is what it feels like, actually. Peter: That's scary. Exactly. Exactly what I was thinking of too. Jewel Blase: Yeah, like I was using creator search insights the other day and there it came up as like a recommended topic bipolar or trending bip ⁓ trendy bipolar, bipolar is trending right now. And I texted my friend He who ⁓ I was like, I'm kind of offended by this. Like it's not a trend at all. Like this is a miserable diagnosis to live with. Peter: Right. Yeah. Yeah, it's scary. It is it's really it's really it's I that's why people are like, ⁓ I'm gonna do something on TikTok. Mmm because I don't I don't agree with it because of that reason, because like I said, you can hardly tie up a real conversation about a lot of these things because it'll start, ⁓ well, we're gonna ban your live, we're gonna ban your live privileges because you're having a real conversation. That's why I stopped doing these episodes live, because of that reason. I took the human element out of because like some of these stories these people were sharing were getting pretty wild. Alynne D: Mm, mm hmm, mm. ⁓ Peter: And I was like, yeah, we can't we can't keep going through this one. You know, we did have some great responses to some of them. Other ones, it was just like I that was my biggest fear is that, you know, like people are gonna jump in and start saying some crazy shit while we're recording. And I'm not paying attention because I'm talking to them, you know, instead of somebody moderating the chat, you know. So now it's like I do the pre recorded sessions now because that way we can be in this complete safe space. I can invite an audience in now if I want to. If now people want supporters to come in and the ex okay. We can get ⁓ in it's fine. They can be in the chat. They can see him talking to ⁓ No one else can see it. ⁓ you know, things like that too. But yeah, that's that's the reason why, 'cause it's just like, you know, those things there are just sickening. You know, it's like people are sharing these stories. Jewel Blase: Well, do you remember Mike from the Truth Table? Well, he's actually dealing with that right now. Like his accounts of like it's almost on the ver like his TikTok shop was already taken away. Like his accounts on the verge of like getting shut down because of what he talks about. like people are hating on him for it. Like he has an amazing story and he talks about it, but like People will go into his lives and like report him and all kinds of stuff just because he's being real and honest. Peter: Yeah. Yeah, it's sickening. Well Alynne D: Mm. Mm. Again, it's uncomfortable to them, right? It's actually uncomfortable to get real and get real vulnerable. So Peter: Mm. But d but these reports though, they need to have somebody go through a common sense and look at it and go, Okay, well that's not he's not doing anything wrong. He's having a real honest conversation. You know what mean? Like to me it's just there's there's a lot that's gotta be done. Ever since, you know, it came to the US, it's like now it's gotten worse with these bans and things. But at the same time, they there's some wild things that go on they don't even say anything about. And it's it's kind of political at this point. ⁓ what gets us more views? ⁓ these guys are us we're gonna leave them alone. But if you don't get us a lot of views, we're gonna come pick on you instead. It's what it almost feels like, so Jewel Blase: Yeah. Alynne D: ⁓ huh. Jewel Blase: I also feel like AI is also become an issue because if you think about it, it's all AI monitoring your lives. It's all AI like it's it's monitoring everything and AI isn't it's n it's not always like a hundred percent smart. Like you know what I mean? So like Peter: Mm-hmm. Yeah, 'cause it's not human. It's not human. It's really what it it's not human. You don't have human elements anymore. You don't Yeah. Alynne D: Yeah. Not human, not trauma poisons. Jewel Blase: A lot of times I can appeal, like if someone if I get like a notification or something during my live, like a lot of times I can appeal ⁓ And then like I don't know if like a real person reviews it, like I don't know how that works, but then sometimes like they relit or they lift the like the violation. ⁓ Peter: Yeah. Yeah. Well, ladies, we're gonna have to wrap up this episode. Aline, it was so great having you come be a guest. I am definitely gonna invite you to come be P at Friday Society, but we'll talk about that here in a second. Before we wrap up, go ahead and let everybody know where they can find you. What website are you on a social media that you know you choose that you like to share your things at? Let us know. Alynne D: Yeah. Yeah. So I am my website is alendavis dot com. It's my name, A L Y N N E Davis. and that's my handle on Instagram and then it's Alyn Davis Therapy on Facebook. That's where I'm at the most. so yeah. Peter: Mm. Okay. And guys I'll have all these links in the bio. Jill, do you wanna go everybody can find too? Let them know your TikTok, you know, obviously the truth table do all this stuff. Lay it down, girl. Jewel Blase: ⁓ all right, so the biggest one I want to announce is our new podcast, the Truth Table Podcast. It has me, Maureen, He-Hoo. Well, I call him He Who. ⁓ his name is Anthony and Mike. you can find us on TikTok, the Truth Table Podcast, Unapologetic AF, because we found out someone else has. a truth table too. So we are unapologetic AF. and then you can find me on TikTok if you just do Joule blaze B L A S E. That's me. Peter: I thought she was gonna get it out there for minute. I'm just not picking a job. I'm just messing with you. But guys, you know where to find me on Pete on Voice for the Voiceless, Pete from Anxiety, everything else. Spotify all down the pie. Everything else, guys. Listen, we're gonna wrap up this episode of Voice of the Voiceless. Guys, you know where to find us every Saturday. ⁓ you know, Jules, thank you so much for coming hang out with us. I appreciate it. Aline again, thank you so much for coming to hang out with me. I appreciate it. Guys, as I always say, definitely, guys. And as always, say, guys, be bold, be brave, be one of the voice of the voices. Until next time, guys, we'll see you later. Jewel Blase: Mm-hmm. Yeah, and thanks for having me. Alynne D: Thank you. It was a it was a pleasure. Right.