Latest / The Hypnotist / Guest Hypnotist Rebecca Wagner on the Milton Model and Hypnotic Language

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Guest Hypnotist Rebecca Wagner on the Milton Model and Hypnotic Language · The Hypnotist

0:05
Welcome to The Hypnotist, the show that gives you inside
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access to cutting edge hypnosis with real clients facing genuine
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issues. Brought to you by the
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Hypnotherapist, demanded by celebrities, CEOs and even
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royalty. Adam Cox.
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These recordings took place live from Adam Smith in London's
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world famous Harley Street. So get yourself comfortable and
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enjoy today's episode of The Hypnotist.
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Welcome to the hypnotist. My name is Adam Cox and today
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I'm not your hypnotist. We have a guest hypnotist and
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that is Rebecca Wechner. Welcome to the show, Rebecca.
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Thank you, Adam. Great to have you.
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Here. Great to have you here.
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So one of the things I'm always curious about when I'm meeting a
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hypnotherapist is how they actually became a
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hypnotherapist. For you, what was the catalyst?
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What was the key thing that made you curious about the world of
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hypnotherapy and then actually to become a therapist?
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So mine is twofold. My background for the last 15
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years I've been a massage therapist and the amount of
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people that I've helped in the massage room has been crazy.
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And over the years would be people would be like, I would
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work on a muscle and they'd be like, I don't even know why I
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told you that story. I've never even told my wife
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that or they'd leave. They'd be like, that was the
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best massage ever. What did you do?
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And I'm like, I literally did nothing different.
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And I realized that when I'm working on the muscle, they
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would be telling the story and then it would release twofold
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from the muscle and then also from their mind too.
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So I was like, it has to be mental.
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And at the same time, I was going through a big life change
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where I had already, I was turning 30 and I'd already done
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all the things. I already started a career, had
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kids, got married, got a house, did all the things I was
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supposed to do. And I was coming to this point.
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I'm like, who am I? Who am I moving forward?
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And I knew I had to dive deeper in inside of myself as well.
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And so I started on this journey looking for something in the
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mind work. And I knew I always loved
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energy. I always knew that somehow I
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would get involved in the energy world, just didn't know how.
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And then I was talking to a colleague of mine.
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I'm like, I found this thing called NLP and hypnosis.
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I'm like, I'm not sure if it's for me or not.
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And she looks at me, she touched me on the shoulder and she's
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like, no, Rebecca, that is exactly what you need.
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That's not only going to help change your life, it's going to
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help everybody you work with moving forward.
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I'm like, OK, so I looked into it and it was a Thursday.
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I remember and I had called this, this training company that
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was really local to me. I'm like, oh, bonus.
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And I was signed up and ready to take the practitioner training
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within the next week. And it just went, I've just gone
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downhill from there in the most amazing way because I've helped
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so many people in so many different ways change their
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mindset, their lives, as well as my own as well.
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Do you think your background in actually working with the
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physical body gives you a different perspective?
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Because there is a great deal of belief, whether it's through NLP
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in terms of kinesthetics and modalities, or this idea that
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emotions are stored actually in the body.
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Do you have a different perspective on that because of
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your background? I 100% believe that emotions are
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stored in the body because it would be funny and I've done a
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lot of extra learning. I know Louise Hay talks about it
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in her book, You Can Heal Your Life.
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You've also got the new Germanic medicine, I think it's called,
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where it talks about how all of our body parts mean something
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differently. And so when it comes to say low
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back pain, oftentimes low back, and it's very universal, has to
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do with financial issues. So you may have a lot of money,
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you may have no money. You're just stressing about
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money. It shows up in the back and with
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massage. When I would talk to somebody
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about just finances in general, they're like, what did you do?
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Because my back pains decrease or has gone away.
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I'm like, we just brought it to surface.
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So one hundred, 100%. I fully believe that the
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emotions are totally connected to the body and the mind.
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And with things, let's say the the two dominant emotions that
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kind of affect most people in a negative way, it's probably like
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stress and anxiety. How does stress kind of manifest
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in the body compared to let's say someone very anxious all the
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time? OK, so stress is, I'm going to
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say in this way, stress and anxiety.
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Stress is thinking about things of the past, things that have
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already happened. When you carry a lot of stress
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in your shoulders, you're literally carrying the weight of
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the world on your shoulders. And stress and energy has weight
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to it. So it shows up in the shoulders.
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Let's just say anxiety is fear of the unknown of the future.
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Anxiety is always thinking about what could go wrong in the
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future, even though it hasn't happened.
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And our minds, as you know, don't know what's real and
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what's not real. And so when you start to think
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of these thoughts that haven't happened yet, it shows up in the
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body. So that's how that's how I look
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at it. And that's how they're really
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connected to the stress and anxiety.
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Yeah, and I remember a study years ago about for people with
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long term depression, they gave them a toothbrush to put in
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between their teeth and look at the mirror for 5 minutes a day,
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and because it mimicked the same muscles as a smile, they
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actually kind of felt better. Do you find that works the same
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way that if someone is carrying, let's say, a lot of tension, a
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lot of stress, a lot of anxiety and that gets released
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physically, then their mood changes?
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And then vice versa if you work with someone
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hypnotherapeutically, not with nothing to do with the body and
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then the body changes it. Is it like a two way street from
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your experience? I would say yes, and that sounds
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like a super cool study. I've never heard of that one
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with the toothbrush, but it makes sense.
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I was taught working with somebody a couple weeks ago and
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it was something simple in the hypnosis.
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It was a hypnosis session and we were talking about let's create
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what we were calling the badass list.
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And the badass list is all the things you've done in your life
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that are friggin awesome to be able to come back to those
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emotions right then and there on the spot.
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And if you're feeling down, then you can go back to your badass
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list and it could be whatever it is for you.
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Maybe you got that perfect job. Maybe you had a bought a house.
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Maybe you, it was your life goal to get married, write a book,
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whatever it was, you know what those feelings are.
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So to be able to go into that really quickly, it's going to
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change your body instantly and your mind.
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Because when you feel your most badass or your most confident
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self, you're going to walk differently, you're going to
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talk differently, you're going to approach others in a whole
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different way. So it's very much a mind body
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connection. When your mind is in the right
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place, the body is the robot and the body just follows.
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That becomes an anchor, doesn't it?
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Because all of these things are very resourceful states.
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So whatever that thing is, whether it's kind of gratitude
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or accomplishment, you're kind of reactivating that.
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So I guess in a way that's a form of self hypnosis because
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you go back to those memories and you're like, wow, OK, yeah,
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no, I, I can do those things. I, I am capable and and it does
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change things very quickly. Most hypnotherapist tend to
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gravitate towards particular niches or kind of specialist
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areas. Is there a particular type of
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client or particular type of issue that you found yourself?
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Maybe not even through intention, it just happened to
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be that way that you've ended up working in in more of a niche
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than you intended to. For me, I like to work with
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women who I figured it out. Even though we don't want to
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call ourselves. Maybe we do.
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It's the millennial women. We grew up in a very different
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era than, say, the women growing up now in the early 20s, and we
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just have this different kind of stress.
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So I love working with millennial women who either have
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their own businesses or want to learn how to juggle and navigate
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that balance between home and work and really help them
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decrease their stress and anxiety.
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So they can be the best mom, they can be the best colleague,
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they can be the best business owner that they can be.
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Because ultimately we want to, we want to be able to make that
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time to be able to go to our kids events and functions as
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well as still have a fun living or earn, earn money in a way
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that's for us too. And what are some of the major
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issues that you would say, let's say, millennial women tend to
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face more of than, let's say, millennial men or perhaps older
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or younger generations? Interesting.
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I think from what I've come across is it they always come to
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me for something else, but then always become becomes down to
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the the trust. They realize they don't trust
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themselves because we've been brought up in a world where it's
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like women should be should be seen and not heard or children
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should be seen and not heard. You're just you're just a mom,
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so you don't really matter as much or what other things.
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I don't know. I'm actually a side note.
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I'm actually writing a book and it's called run the dishwasher
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twice. Shift your beliefs, mind your
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mindset and live life on your terms because there's so many
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beliefs have been installed in US from children, especially
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women that need to be changed. And I feel like I'm one of those
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people that want to help people change.
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Like I was telling my friends about this and like some of the
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different chapters that are in it and she's like, Yep, I've got
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that one. Yep, I've got she's like, are
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you reading my mind? I'm like, well, kind of because
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we're all going through the same things.
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We just don't voice it. And so it's called run the
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dishwasher twice even because the amount of times we feel like
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everything has to be perfect and you have to put everything in
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the dishwasher the first time, it's not necessary.
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Nowadays, if I have to run two or three loads of dishes, then I
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run two or three loads of dishes.
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But there are some people that are like, if there's dishes on
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the counter, they all have to get put into the dishwasher and
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get run once. So it's just shifting the
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mindset in a way that we haven't been taught, especially as this
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millennial era, I would say. I guess that that metaphor has a
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double meaning as well, because, you know, if you need to run it
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more than once, fine, you know, you've got, you don't have to do
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it all in one go. But I guess it has a different
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meaning in the sense that if the first time you run a dishwasher
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doesn't clean everything, you can just run the cycle again.
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And, and therapeutically, I've certainly done that with a few
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clients that, you know, a particular approach to deal with
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an issue has made progress on the first session, but it's
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actually in the second session that you really kind of find the
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resolution. So it, it's quite powerful that
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way. My perception is when you were
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saying some of those things that millennial people, particularly
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women face, that almost seems like an older generation thing
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where it's kind of like very domesticated roles or identity
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linked to, you know, gender stereotypes.
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It's surprising for me for for to hear that millennial women
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that you would imagine are much more empowered.
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They grew up with, you know, the Internet and a lot of different
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kind of resources that actually, let's say their grandparents
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didn't have. And yet some of these, you know,
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still very stereotypical identities and roles are still
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there. Why do you think that is?
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Why do you think that even with, let's say, all of the knowledge
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and role models available, that millennial women still are, you
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know, gravitating towards something that, you know, maybe
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you know, more of a perceived historical issue?
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Well, I think we're that generation that went so our
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first emotions. I'm sure you know this, although
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your listeners may or may not. Our first emotions are created
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between the ages of 0 and 7. That's when our first emotions
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were created and everything is piled on top of that.
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For those millennial women, that's when it still was those
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older generations installing these beliefs on us.
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Yes, when we became teenagers, we started to have more of the
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Internet and more of technology, and now it's like in our hands,
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we can do it whenever. Although those first emotions,
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those first beliefs are still from that older generation.
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Us teaching our kids now, we have so many more opportunities
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and possibilities and resources to teach this generation moving
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forward. But I feel like ours is this
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like generation where we're still taught all of the old
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school ways. We're we're changing them.
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We're the catalysts that are changing them for the futures to
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come. That makes sense.
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So it's it's kind of, I guess some within the millennials are
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very empowered and very kind of, let's say in control of their
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own identity. But you've got this legacy of
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because how they were raised in their own wars.
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It kind of echoes, which I guess leads to the idea of, and not
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everyone believes in this. There's this idea of
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generational traumas or generational, you know, kind of
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issues where I certainly see it in phobia clients, where
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actually a lot of people inherit the phobia from their parents
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because they, they see their parents very scared with
13:54
something and then they kind of observe and, and learn that.
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Yeah. Do you, do you think that's a
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valid, you know, kind of thesis, this idea that actually certain
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conditions or compulsions or addictions actually kind of
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ripple from generation to generation?
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I I think that's such a great question to ask.
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So unfortunately my mom passed away almost four years ago and
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it was on her one year death anniversary.
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My mom or not my mom, she's she was gone.
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My aunt and I went out for lunch to celebrate her one year
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anniversary and we just got talking about different things
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of like how she was like I, there's a lot of things from
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between my parents that were before me.
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So it's like a secret that I'm never, I've never got to know
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yet I never will know because it was before my lifetime.
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And there was a lot of things that I didn't know happened.
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And on this one year lunch anniversary, my aunt was talking
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to me and she was telling me a few things.
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And I'm like, this makes sense as to why I do this this way is
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because this happened to my mom. And I was like, no way.
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Or the way I would say something or hold myself back in a way
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when I really want to just step myself out in the world.
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And she's like, yeah, because your mom did this or this
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happened to your mom, so that makes sense why you do it this
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way. And I was like, holy crap.
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I never realized that her beliefs, even though she never
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spoke them or gave them words, were installed in me.
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And I'm acting in a way that I don't want to act because of
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her. So I thought that that was very
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fascinating. And for to be able to come to
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surface and for me to be able to actually acknowledge it, see it
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here at feel it. And I was like, holy crap,
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that's crazy. Now that I know it's time to
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change it. But yes, I can see how this
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generational trauma can go through.
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I had another client worked with years ago and it was her grandma
15:53
who was in the Holocaust. And that was when I was talking
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about when we need to learn how to trust ourselves.
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She realized she didn't learn how to trust herself because her
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grandma couldn't trust herself because her grandma was
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literally in the Holocaust. And I'm like, this is so crazy.
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So yes, generational trauma can go through the the, the
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generational line. Although once you know about it,
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that's your job to decide if you want to change it or not, right?
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It is. And I think one of the most
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empowering things to do with the client is they become the one to
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break generational cycles. And I remember working with a
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client, very kind of tragic story, but it was, you know,
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basically a lot of child sexual abuse and they figured that that
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had happened to their mother and highly likely their grandmother.
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And, you know, positioning that as kind of like, it stops with
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you, you know, that actually, rather than these things having
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to kind of ripple, you know, through further generations, you
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know, they become the one to break the cycle.
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And I think that's such an empowering role to give a client
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that actually, OK, this has been rippling over centuries, and
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they get to be the one that that stops it.
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Do you believe that the message that you actually kind of give
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the client the role influences them?
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What do you think? It's all just based on
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suggestion, Like what? What's the key thing that you
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feel is an empowering reframe when you've got these things
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that have been going on for a long time?
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I think it's about giving them, putting the ball in their court,
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letting them in their mind know, because ultimately we know what
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the right, we know what right and wrong is, we know what the
17:39
right answer is. Sometimes we're just too afraid
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to give it answers. And so like, I know we'll, we'll
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probably talk. What I'm going to be doing for
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this conference coming up is the Milton model, which is all but
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hypnotic language and hypnotic patterning, conversational
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hypnosis. And to be able to speak in a way
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that allows the person to come up with their own answers is
18:00
very empowering because they already know the answer.
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And that's what the catalyst change is because you now know
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what's right and wrong. A decision is easy.
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It says yes or a no. It's the motion, the emotional
18:14
pull behind that makes it hard. Once you take the emotion out of
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it and you're like, Kay, I am doing this because it's not only
18:20
going to change my life, it's going to change my everyone in
18:24
the future to come. And oftentimes you're changing
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when you're that catalyst, you're changing the entire
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karmic line. So not only are you changing it
18:33
moving forward, you're also changing it going backward as
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well. And I think that's so powerful
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because you're just changing this entire energy on the in the
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field of your generation. And as the therapist, you just
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get to be that guide that helps that person decide.
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I get to be the change. I get to be the the catalyst and
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this is my time to shine. Yeah, I think, I think you're
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right. It's it's allowing them to
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discover the meaning or the decision rather than kind of
19:06
just telling them. And and I think the Milton model
19:09
is really good for that. It's probably worth for some of
19:11
the audience that isn't necessarily trained
19:13
hypnotherapeutically to have some context there.
19:16
So recently I did a talk about how we're in the fourth golden
19:19
age of hypnosis. And I talked about the third
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golden age was really with, you know, Milton Ericsson as the as
19:27
the kind of the flag bearer of that.
19:29
But the Milton model really came from NLP in kind of studying the
19:34
structure of Milton Ericsson's language.
19:35
Tell us a bit about where it all came from, and for those that
19:38
aren't familiar with the Milton model, what it is.
19:42
So the Milton model came from NLP, as you just said, the two
19:47
Co creators of NLP, Richard Bandler and John Grinder, which
19:50
I think it's super cool that Richard Bandler is going to be
19:52
at this conference in a couple weeks.
19:56
They did a lot of studying on different models of excellence.
19:59
They looked at things very specific.
20:01
They went into the which they created the meta model from
20:03
Virginia Sitir whole different story.
20:06
And then they also went very vague, what can we do with Zag?
20:09
And they followed Milton Erickson and created the Milton,
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the Milton model, hence the name Milton because it came from
20:15
Milton Erickson. And they created, they came up
20:19
with these 19 different patterns and they're vague enough that
20:24
they're going to create agreement within the mind, but
20:26
they're not too vague where they get lost.
20:29
And so there's these different patterns that one can use as
20:34
conversational hypnotic, as conversationally or in a
20:37
therapeutic setting that just allows the unconscious mind and
20:41
the conscious mind to come up with an agreement to be able to
20:45
do what they want to do. So for instance, the one of my
20:52
favorite ones that I have to is A tag question.
20:54
So A tag question is just a question that you add to the end
20:57
of a statement. And it just allows your mind to
21:01
go off and wander and decide, do you want to do this thing or
21:03
not? So for instance, if I saw my
21:04
kids, I'm like, OK, boys, you can clean your room.
21:07
And they're like, yeah, I can clean it.
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And if I say you can clean your room, can you not?
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And they're like, well, yeah, I can.
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I just don't want to right now. So it's giving them more of a
21:16
choice in their mind as to the answer they're they're looking
21:22
for or or what I'm looking for from them.
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Yeah, it it loops back and I think, you know, the one I use a
21:29
lot is, is it not? Is it not You kind of give them
21:32
a new belief that's true, is it not?
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And then it gets them kind of going back to the very normal
21:37
pathway that you can kind of update.
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And what I like about Milton Erickson is that he was the
21:42
master of metaphor. And I love analogies and
21:45
metaphors, and people regularly listening to the show will know
21:49
just how many metaphors that I I use.
21:51
Oh yes, and you're very good at them too.
21:53
Thank you. But what I, what I love about
21:55
metaphor is that you don't have to know the reality of the
21:58
client. It just has to represent.
22:01
And there's a great phrase in NLP, the map is not the
22:04
territory. So it gives them this way of
22:07
kind of having a structure to kind of make changes within the
22:11
model of the metaphor that doesn't have to be their
22:14
reality. And, and I, and I did a recent
22:17
one with a, a lady that was giving up alcohol and it was
22:22
framing all of the things that could be relapse triggers as
22:26
snakes on the snakes and ladder board.
22:28
And it was just really profound for her because it gave her this
22:31
feeling of, well, I know where they are now, so I'm not going
22:33
to tread on them again because that that puts me back and I
22:36
know where the ladders are. So I can kind of make the
22:37
progress and snakes and ladders is quite a good metaphor for
22:41
that. But I don't have to know all of
22:43
the specific details of this client's life.
22:46
It's just she will know what the snakes are.
22:49
And I think Milton Erickson was very good at also using things
22:53
like double meanings and those phonological ambiguities and was
22:59
almost slice of mouth where it would be an, an embedded
23:02
command, you know, tucked into a phrase.
23:05
And, and the client has no idea that this stuff is, is
23:08
happening. So you obviously like tag
23:10
questions. What are some of the other
23:12
language patterns of Milton Erickson that you really like?
23:16
Another one is the fun one. I forget what it's called right
23:21
off the top of my head, but what is it called anyway?
23:28
It's the one where I'll just like give you an example.
23:31
So I had a friend whose brother's uncle's nephew did
23:37
something just like this and was able to get a result from it as
23:40
well. So what you're doing there is
23:42
you're disassociating the person from the event so many times
23:48
that they're trying to figure out, wait, who was it?
23:50
But then when you give the end, the statement, the command of
23:53
what you want to happen, they just go for that cause your mind
23:56
gets all mumbled, jumbled and they're like Oh well this person
24:00
did it and they got this result so I can get it too.
24:02
Yeah, it's levels of disassociation.
24:04
And it's the same logic that makes nested loops work because
24:07
when you're so far away from like the present, you're more
24:11
receptive to, to their suggestion and and pickpockets
24:14
use this as well. They want to kind of overwhelm
24:16
them with confusions. Then they can be, you know,
24:19
manipulated in in that way. Although this is not that.
24:25
It's definitely not that, but it, but it is, it is that
24:28
ability to kind of, I think a lot of people when they think
24:31
about hypnotherapy, they're like, I can't be hypnotized and,
24:34
and their defenses are, are up and, and lots of the Milton
24:38
model is hypnosis without it feeling like hypnosis.
24:42
So that, you know, the Scooby-doo villain archetype
24:45
where it's kind of like you are under my control.
24:47
You know, a lot of that doesn't work with a lot of people
24:49
because they're like, they just don't know I'm in control of my
24:52
life. But the Milton style of
24:54
language, you're opening up possibilities and ideas
25:00
indirectly. It's very kind of covert.
25:03
And, and when you use an example, you know, of, well,
25:06
there's this person I know and they did this.
25:08
And I love using anecdotes in my, in my client sessions
25:11
because they map that strategy across to them without them even
25:16
realising that there's a suggestion they're like, well,
25:18
the hypnosis hasn't started yet, but it's all, it's all there to
25:22
begin with. And what, what would you say is
25:25
the, the difficulty for whether it's a hypnotherapist or just
25:30
one curious about hypnosis learning the the Milton model
25:33
and, and some of those techniques.
25:36
The difficulty in it. What's the challenge?
25:39
Because I think with the meta model, what I found with the
25:40
meta model. Is.
25:43
Yeah, if for the meta model, for example, because it's about
25:46
precise language, one of the challenging elements of that is
25:50
that you can be annoying if you, if you follow the meta model.
25:55
And then when someone uses some kind of vague language, you
25:58
know, like, well, you know, everybody knows that you're like
26:01
everybody, every single person. Like it can, it can become
26:04
annoying to kind of hone in. Do you think there's any
26:06
difficulties with people either learning the Milton model or
26:10
implementing the the Milton model?
26:12
I don't think so. I and maybe it's just because I
26:16
love it. It's such a powerful tool that I
26:20
just learned. So it just came so naturally to
26:23
me that my my friends are always like Rebecca, you can Milton
26:25
anybody through the floor with the things that you say because
26:28
it just becomes part of my it's like learning another language.
26:30
So it's like learning French or Spanish or Italian.
26:33
You learn Milton and it just becomes part of who you are.
26:37
Like it's not difficult to do, say, when another one is pacing
26:41
the current experience. So as you're sitting there
26:45
listening to me, you're nodding your head and you're really
26:47
understanding what's what's going, what's coming out of my
26:50
mouth. That's a simple pattern.
26:53
There's nothing difficult about that.
26:54
Like if you're finding this difficult, you can literally
26:57
just say what the person is doing in front of you and you're
27:01
able to build that rapport instantly.
27:05
Because ultimately that's what it's really about.
27:07
It's about building rapport and really getting in tune with
27:11
whoever's in front of you so you can guide them in a way that's
27:15
going to help serve them the best.
27:17
So I really don't think there's much difficulty unless you
27:20
choose to make it difficult. I, I think it, it can feel
27:23
overwhelming because I've got to remember all these these tag tag
27:27
responses. I've got to remember all these
27:29
metaphors. I've got to have all these kind
27:30
of double meanings. I've got to have this kind of
27:33
embedded commands stated within a, a quote.
27:36
It can feel overwhelming, but I think it's like anything, if you
27:39
just practice one or two of these things, particularly if
27:42
you're a therapist, like get that in a session, you know,
27:44
that kind of that approach works effectively.
27:47
You're turning it into that, that competency by doing it,
27:51
having the experience of of doing that.
27:53
One of the things I found fascinating about Milton
27:55
Ericsson is the creativity in the homework that he would set
28:00
his clients and he would give them homework that kind of
28:04
mimicked the very situation that they're in.
28:07
And then actually their homework becomes a pattern interrupt.
28:12
It becomes a way of them changing their their kind of
28:15
belief systems. You tend to do things like that
28:17
with your clients. You give them kind of homework
28:20
or challenges to do. Always, always.
28:22
I love giving action steps because you can learn it, but
28:27
you're not really going to learn it until you do it.
28:29
You need to build that neurology.
28:31
So like you're saying, yes, it's if you there's 19 patterns.
28:35
I could not and did not learn all 19 patterns at the same
28:39
time. I'm more comfortable doing like
28:43
less of them. So it's not about being
28:45
overwhelmed by them is even in my my presentation I'm doing I'm
28:49
only teaching 3 because if you were to teach all 19, you'll be
28:52
overloaded. So when it comes to homework for
28:55
my clients, it's I usually give them about three things.
28:59
And honestly one of the things is just to write down 5 things
29:03
that you're grateful for every single day.
29:05
It's a very simple task and it's a huge pattern interrupt because
29:10
the amount of times people think about all the things they've
29:14
done wrong, all the things that didn't go well for them that day
29:18
or all the things they didn't get to, it's like, well, instead
29:21
of doing that, let's look at what we did do.
29:23
Let's look at what went right. Let's look at all the things
29:26
that were a plus in your life. Who did you connect with that
29:29
you want to have or finding the good things.
29:32
And it's a simple thing, but it makes such a big difference and
29:36
it's such a big pattern interrupt because now you're
29:37
looking for the positives of your life and when what you
29:41
focus on expands. So when you start looking for
29:44
more positive things, more positive things show up.
29:48
Yeah, you're, you're priming and, and kind of exercising that
29:51
muscle to notice what's working. Well, people that are depressed
29:55
or highly anxious, highly anxious looking all the things
29:58
that could go wrong in the future and depressed, you know,
30:01
there's no hope. It's like, but that won't that
30:03
won't work. Everything is, is very negative.
30:05
So it does train those neural pathways.
30:07
My, my, I think most creative one that worked really well,
30:11
There was a client that I was working with that was
30:13
overweight. And the reason why she was
30:16
overweight is that she'd be working very long hours, come
30:19
back from work and she would have that in a dialogue of I
30:23
don't have time to cook something.
30:24
There's all these take away restaurants.
30:26
She'll just get something convenient and then she'd eat
30:29
the take away food. But quite often this take away
30:31
food is thousands of calories. So it was so I said, right, you
30:34
know, at the end of the first session I said, right, your
30:37
homework is to eat take away food every single night this
30:41
week. And I saw this really confused
30:44
face and she's like, you're meant to be helping me lose
30:46
weight, not gaining weight. And I said, look, there is a
30:48
caveat here. And I said, do you have a full
30:50
length mirror in your home? And she said, yes.
30:54
I said every time you get that take away I want you to get
30:59
ready to eat it in front of the full length mirror naked and
31:02
look at the parts of your body that you feel aren't the shape
31:06
that you want. And I said try your hardest to
31:09
enjoy that take away while looking at the the the shape of
31:13
your body that has been caused by this take away.
31:16
Anyway I got a message like 3 or 4 days into their homework and
31:19
she's like I can't even look at the take away anymore.
31:22
That's a good one. What most people disassociate
31:25
from the consequence. Most smokers will see the
31:29
picture of lung cancer on the packet and and they say, oh, it
31:32
won't happen to me. But when you collide the
31:34
behavior with the consequence, it could be a real patent
31:37
interrupt because they've tried telling themselves, no, I'm not
31:41
going to have this today, but they've got that pattern
31:43
running. And when you collide the the
31:45
consequence with the action in that moment, suddenly it doesn't
31:49
become very desirable anymore. So you know that those kind of
31:52
Milton Erickson style homework, I think is is really fun.
31:56
Of course you're you're going to be talking about the Milton
31:58
language patterns in the Mid America conference.
32:02
And you're quite right. Richard Bandler along with John
32:05
Grin and actually kind of built the Milton model is going to be
32:08
there. Are you hoping that he pops into
32:10
your your kind of talk to to kind of almost kind of grade
32:16
like how accurate you're doing it is?
32:18
Is that exciting for you or daunting for you or, or what do
32:20
you think? Well, I felt like I'm like I
32:22
have big shoes to fill here because he was the creator of
32:25
it. Although I'm speaking on the
32:27
Friday and I don't think he's showing up till the Sunday till
32:30
the day that he actually present.
32:32
So I have nothing to worry about, just to have that energy
32:35
of him being there. And, and I chose this topic
32:40
before I even knew that he was coming.
32:41
So I was like, Oh, this is just kind of cool.
32:44
And I could have looked at like, Oh my God, this is like
32:46
intimidating because like I'm doing something that that
32:50
imposter syndrome could have totally crept in to be like, I'm
32:53
doing something that he created. Instead though, I'm like, I'm
32:57
actually really excited because everyone's going to be here
33:00
learning and then learning from him on the Sunday where I get to
33:05
give him a little bit of a teaser on the Friday as to
33:08
something he created. So I just flipped it for myself
33:11
and I'm because I'm not thinking of myself.
33:14
I'm thinking of my audience and who I'm going to be helping with
33:18
this and how fun and how powerful of a technique it is
33:22
that I'm actually excited for it.
33:25
No, I think that's the most that's the best way to to be in.
33:28
And I think Richard Bandler probably is my biggest influence
33:31
is why I'm a hypnotherapist. All of his early work, you know,
33:35
structure of magic, frogs into Princess, you know, but
33:39
particularly the stuff that was all about his transcripts of
33:42
what he actually did. So there's Using a Brain for a
33:45
Change by Connie Ray Andreas that kind of mapped out some of
33:49
his techniques and magic in action.
33:51
Big, big influence on me and. Are these all books?
33:54
Like should I be taking notes here?
33:55
Yeah, these are some of the the the OG books on on this area.
34:00
I know the frog and the Princess, but a couple of the
34:01
other ones I haven't heard of so I'll have to.
34:03
Yeah, Structure of Magic was I think a lot about the, the, the
34:06
meta model. I think Structure of Magic Part
34:08
2 was the Milton model and it was kind of that was the
34:11
original kind of place where it it and then you have
34:14
transformations, which again is around the same time of frogs
34:17
into Princess. But you know, sometimes I do
34:20
talks at these conferences about nested loops.
34:23
And I would say Richard Bandler is for for me, he's the GOAT of
34:26
nested loops. Like he's so good at kind of
34:28
weaving stories within stories. So I think I would probably have
34:31
a little bit of imposter syndrome if I was doing a talk
34:33
on nested loops and then Richard Bandler comes in, But I think I
34:36
think I'd have fun with it. So give us a little bit of,
34:40
because I know you're very aware of the kind of stuff going on at
34:44
the the Mid America conference. Let us know a little bit about
34:47
what's happening there that people can expect if they do
34:49
come, but also a bit about you and if people want to learn more
34:53
about you, where they can find more information.
34:56
OK, so they can they can go to I'm Rebecca Wagner coaching on
34:59
all the socials as well as Rebecca wagnercoaching.com for
35:02
my website. That's pretty simple and easy.
35:06
I like to help women decrease stress and anxiety so they can
35:10
live their best life with inner peace, common joy.
35:12
So if anybody's looking for ways to decrease stress from a a
35:15
different perspective, then I I'd love to have a conversation
35:20
with you. When it comes to the conference,
35:23
there are so many cool things that are happening at this
35:25
conference and I went to it last year for the first time and this
35:30
year apparently it's going to be very different.
35:32
So my only conference was before this was hypnothoughts live in
35:37
Vegas, which is like 600 plus people.
35:40
And then last year there was only about 100 people at this
35:43
conference. Like wow, it was very different.
35:45
So I had to like change my expectations because I had no
35:47
idea what to expect where it was like a lot of people and then
35:50
this one is just like a few people, but you can have deeper
35:52
conversations. So this year I think that the
35:57
top line is 400. I think we're at three 5400.
36:01
So you're going to be able to, it's going to be like one of
36:03
those mid ones where it's like you can meet a lot of people,
36:06
but you can also have deeper conversations and there's lots
36:08
of different ways that you can do that.
36:11
We're doing they're going to be doing swag bags.
36:13
So I like giving gifts for everybody who comes.
36:17
I don't know how many bags they have or how it's going to work.
36:21
They are. So I'm also part of Rich Guzzi,
36:23
who's Rich and Joe who are running it.
36:26
I'm part of their elite program. So I've got a little more
36:28
insight than some. Obviously, I'm not going to say
36:31
what what the public doesn't already know.
36:34
Although we do know that on the Friday we're doing the Family
36:37
Feud kind of games, which is like so much fun.
36:40
And last year it got a little off topic, which is fun because
36:45
it just makes it for good laughs.
36:46
And for fun. We have, he's actually doing a
36:51
VIP room this year, which is really cool.
36:53
So there's going to be an extra room that you can, if you've
36:56
paid extra for the VIP, you get to go.
36:59
I don't know exactly how it's going to work, but it's going to
37:01
be a separate suite that it's going to be.
37:03
Whoever has VIP can go chat, chat with the other VIPs in a
37:07
different setting. Not really sure how it's
37:09
working. I just know there's a VIP room.
37:12
We're going to have lunch each day.
37:13
There's like a buffet lunch that you can pay.
37:16
It's only like $20 a day. And it's great because
37:19
everyone's going to be in the same room and you can have
37:22
lunch. And then we can just go on to
37:24
the next presentation after that, no one has to leave the
37:27
conference room, which is great. Then there's going to be the
37:30
gala on the Saturday. So he wants it like red carpet
37:34
style. I'm like, rich.
37:36
So like, what am I supposed to wear?
37:37
He's like, wear the nicest thing.
37:38
Yeah. I'm like, OK, so I'm like how
37:41
like formal do we go here? So I'm going like semi kind of
37:45
formal 'cause I'm just like, well I'm going to dress, dress
37:48
up like the way I would like to. Cause like last year people
37:52
showed up in jeans. Like no, no, I don't want
37:54
anybody in jeans. OK, perfect.
37:56
So that'll be fine 'cause then he also does his show and then
37:58
there's going to be awards given.
38:00
Don't know how the awards work, but awards are given.
38:02
And then it's fun dancing the rest of the night away.
38:05
Then the Sunday he's doing Richard Banler is the and Chase
38:12
Hughes are the keynotes of the afternoon and then he's going to
38:15
do a pool party on the Sunday night.
38:18
And then on Monday there's a post conference of Richard
38:21
Banler speak present presenting all day.
38:23
And then I think Tuesday is Chase Hughes.
38:27
And then on the front and back end there's also pre and post
38:29
conferences of a few other people.
38:31
You'd have to go to the website, which is what is it,
38:36
hypnosisconference.org. Org yeah, I think that's the so
38:40
so check that out. And do you have anything that
38:45
cause normally how we end is either an experience you could
38:48
take us through like some kind of guided hypnosis, or if
38:51
there's something that people can kind of download or, or get
38:55
like tell us what they can expect.
38:58
I can give the a download of a, it's just a general decrease
39:04
stress relaxation hypnosis. I can put that in, I'll give it
39:07
to you and you can put it in the show notes.
39:09
And it's just a great way to help decrease stress in a way
39:14
that is quick and easy. And then that can also lead to
39:19
the stress reset, which is a three day e-mail sequence where
39:23
each day you get literally a 2 minute stress release, hypnosis,
39:29
literally 2 minutes because that's all it takes to reset
39:31
your body. So you got one day, one day 2
39:33
and day three. And it's a, and it just changes
39:37
the way that you're going to have an outlook on the rest of
39:40
your day. So I can also give you the the
39:42
link for that and just a great way to help decrease stress in a
39:48
easy, fast and fun way. Perfect.
39:50
So if you're feeling stressed right now, check the link in the
39:53
description, you'll get that download and and also you can
39:57
get those kind of tips on e-mail as well.
39:59
And before we let you go, is there anything else that you
40:01
wanted to kind of share with the audience?
40:05
I just I had a great time so thank you for having me.
40:08
It was so much fun talking about things that are near and dear to
40:12
my heart and how we can really make a change on the world and
40:17
on the future generations just by knowing who we are.
40:21
That we can be the catalyst and we no longer have to hold on to
40:25
those old stories that have come from people from our past.
40:28
Fantastic, and all the links to the relevant websites for
40:32
Rebecca will also be in the description as well, so check
40:35
those out. Rebecca, thank you so much for
40:37
joining me on The Hypnotist. Thank you.
40:41
Thank you so much for joining me on today's episode of The
40:45
Hypnotist, and if you've enjoyed today's episode, I would
40:49
encourage you, if you haven't already, to hit the subscribe
40:53
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41:02
Also, by doing that, it lets the algorithm know that you like
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41:10
that might not know that this show exists.
41:13
So that would be helpful for me. And if you like the stuff that I
41:16
do, take a moment just to have a look in the show notes or the
41:20
description because there's lots of free things that I have to
41:23
offer, including free hypnosis downloads without the intro or
41:27
the outro like I'm doing now. So thank you again for joining
41:31
me on today's episode, and I'll see you again soon for the next
41:35
one.