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Ask What, Not Why · The Daily Writer

• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: Hey my friend, welcome to this episode of the Daily Writer Podcast.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: This is part two of a five-part series on dealing with jealousy.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: Have you ever felt like you live in a room with invisible walls that have you trapped?
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: You're trapped by questions like this.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: Why does that so-and-so writer get all the attention?
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: Why do they have more book sales?
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: Why is my blog traffic so stagnant?
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: Why isn't anybody paying attention to me?
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: Well, do those sound kind of familiar?
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: They probably do because we've all had those thoughts in our heads at times.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: If you've ever had these kinds of questions, stop and realize that there's no connection between somebody else's success and yours.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: The invisible walls aren't real.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: Those invisible walls only exist in your mind.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: And there is nothing and nobody that stands in the way of your success.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: When you engage in this kind of comparison thinking, it's because of a poverty mentality.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: A poverty mentality says there's only so much success to go around, and you have to hoard everything for yourself.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: Now, the opposite of a poverty mentality is an abundance mentality.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: That line of thinking goes like this: there's more than enough to go around.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: Success breeds success, and we can help each other.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: So, how do you move from a poverty mentality to an abundance mentality?
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: How do you stop playing the zero-sum game?
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: And how do you vanquish the spirit of jealousy and cultivate instead a spirit of generosity?
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: I think the secret is to shift your vocabulary and begin asking the right kinds of questions.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: In his classic business book, QBQ: The Question Behind the Question, Practicing Personal Accountability at Work and in Life, John G.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: Miller says that we need to change our questions in order to move away from a blame and victim mentality.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of focusing on why questions, we need to focus on what or how questions.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: The question that spurs our jealousy is why do they have blank and I don't have blank?
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: But the problem with why questions is that they shift the responsibility away from ourselves and onto others, and it creates a victim mentality.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: The only way to create the success that you desire is to take 100% responsibility for your life.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: Why questions keep us focused on external things that we can't control, such as other people's actions and motivations.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: It's much better to ask questions focused on what?
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: What you can do, what you can control, and what you can learn.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: After all, the only thing that you can truly control is yourself and your actions.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: And all the emotional energy that we spend on being jealous of other people and their success is much better invested in activities that can help us be successful.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: Here's your daily question for today What is one single activity that, if you practiced it consistently, could help you become more successful as a writer?
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks so much for listening to today's episode.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: For more, you can visit us at dailywriterlife.com.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks, and I'll see you tomorrow.