Latest / INSIGHT FOR LIVING: Biblical Wisdom For Everyday Living / Encouragement for Mothers and Others Msg 17 - Pastor Chuck Swindoll Insight for Living

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Encouragement for Mothers and Others Msg 17 - Pastor Chuck Swindoll Insight for Living · INSIGHT FOR LIVING: Biblical Wisdom For Everyday Living

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Speaker 1: We're looking together at Proverbs 31, verses 10 through 31,
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Speaker 1: excerpts along the way rather than each verse of scripture.
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Speaker 1: So please turn in your Bibles to this last chapter
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Speaker 1: in this book of Proverbs. In a few moments, I'm
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Speaker 1: going to have all of you stand for the reading
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Speaker 1: of the scriptures And then when you are seated, following
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Speaker 1: that at the time of prayer, I'd like the ladies
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Speaker 1: who are our mothers here today to please remain standing
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Speaker 1: for the time of prayer. May we stand together. I'll
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Speaker 1: be reading from the New Living Translation. Verse 10 of
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Speaker 1: Proverbs 31. Who can find a virtuous and capable wife
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Speaker 1: She's more precious than rubies. Her husband can trust her,
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Speaker 1: and she will greatly enrich his life. Verse 16. She
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Speaker 1: goes to inspect a field and buys it. With her earnings,
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Speaker 1: she plants a vineyard. She is energetic and strong, a
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Speaker 1: hard worker. She makes sure her dealings are profitable. Her
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Speaker 1: lamp burns late into the night. Verse 20. She extends
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Speaker 1: a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms
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Speaker 1: to the needy. She has no fear of winter for
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Speaker 1: her household, for everyone has warm clothing. Verse 25. She
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Speaker 1: is clothed with strength. And she laughs without fear of
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Speaker 1: the future. When she speaks, her words are wise and
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Speaker 1: she gives instructions with kindness. She carefully watches everything in
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Speaker 1: her household and suffers nothing from laziness. Her children stand
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Speaker 1: and bless her. Her husband praises her. There are many
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Speaker 1: virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass
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Speaker 1: them all. Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last.
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Speaker 1: But a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.
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Speaker 1: Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds
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Speaker 1: publicly be Declare her praise. The others of you may
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Speaker 1: be seated and mothers please remain standing. May we pray.
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Speaker 1: Thank you our Father for these and so many others
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Speaker 1: in other places who could stand today. Thank you for
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Speaker 1: these who bore their children who have reared them, some
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Speaker 1: still in the process of doing so. Thank you for
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Speaker 1: that which characterizes them most often, their unselfishness, their willingness
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Speaker 1: to adapt their lives for the betterment of their families.
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Speaker 1: Thank you for raising up such women, especially in this day,
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Speaker 1: When a godly woman stands out above all. Not a
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Speaker 1: perfect woman, there is no such. But a godly woman.
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Speaker 1: One who fears you. One who walks with you. One
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Speaker 1: who takes your words seriously. One who talks with you often.
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Speaker 1: One who leans hard on you for strength. one who
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Speaker 1: acknowledges times when she's at wit's end and often at
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Speaker 1: energy's end. Encourage these ladies today and remind them that
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Speaker 1: perfection is never the goal. Never. Give them the ability
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Speaker 1: to read through the scriptures, finding comfort and encouragement rather
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Speaker 1: than being overwhelmed by guilt and shame. Thank you for
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Speaker 1: these who know a role that we men will never
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Speaker 1: fully understand or be able to fulfill. And thank you
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Speaker 1: for the reminder of their presence today that they live
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Speaker 1: among us to carry out your will for their lives
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Speaker 1: that the future might be enhanced as a result of
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Speaker 1: the touch of their hands and the embrace of their arms.
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Speaker 1: Most of all, thank you for their love for us,
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Speaker 1: for their families. We're grateful, Father, to the end of
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Speaker 1: our days for those who were our mothers, Thank you
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Speaker 1: for the memory. Now, Lord, we pray that we will
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Speaker 1: be led into the truth of what you have written
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Speaker 1: in this section of Proverbs. Guard us from extremes, making
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Speaker 1: it say what it was never meant to say. Enable
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Speaker 1: us to see what is here and to understand what
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Speaker 1: is not here. And give all of us a sense
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Speaker 1: of purpose here. and encouragement as a result of what
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Speaker 1: we hear today. We commit our time to you, and
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Speaker 1: we're so grateful, Lord, that you accept us just as
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Speaker 1: we are. Just as we are. Just as you accepted
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Speaker 1: us when we came to your Son, Jesus. Just as
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Speaker 1: we were. In all of our needs and all of
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Speaker 1: our sins, just as we were, you took us and
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Speaker 1: saved us and began to change us so that we
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Speaker 1: might be just like Christ, in whose name we pray.
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Speaker 1: Everyone said amen. You may be seated. I have one
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Speaker 1: word for all you mothers who are hearing me right now, relax.
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Speaker 1: You read over this passage of scripture and you go,
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Speaker 1: oh no, no, another sermon like that. I mean, how
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Speaker 1: often have you wormed your way out of a worship
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Speaker 1: service feeling guilty and ashamed and hoping no one asked, well,
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Speaker 1: what did you think about the sermon? And you have
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Speaker 1: to admit, well, I never felt so overwhelmed. I want
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Speaker 1: you to relax, okay? I'm not going to say you're
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Speaker 1: going to get off scot-free, but I'm not going to
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Speaker 1: beat up on you, certainly not. How could I? Why
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Speaker 1: would I? I've determined... not to discourage one person here today.
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Speaker 1: I don't believe the scriptures discourage us. They may tell
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Speaker 1: us the truth. Certainly they will do that. They will
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Speaker 1: often point out areas where we need improvement, and we
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Speaker 1: will realize that when it comes. But I promise you
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Speaker 1: that when I finish, you will not have to think
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Speaker 1: of yourself as Wonder Woman or film star glamorous, or
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Speaker 1: pencil thin, or Phi Beta Kappa brilliant, or super spiritual saint,
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Speaker 1: you will be able to leave holding your head up high,
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Speaker 1: knowing that God's hand is on your life and is
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Speaker 1: using you and has blessed you in many ways for
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Speaker 1: which you are grateful. And if you ever wonder if
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Speaker 1: we men could take your place, listen to my story. Okay?
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Speaker 1: Cynthia had to go into surgery for something she was
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Speaker 1: dealing with. And it took a couple of overnights. So
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Speaker 1: I was to keep the children. They were all smaller.
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Speaker 1: And she... is the ultimate nutritionist when it comes to food.
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Speaker 1: and healthy meals. And as I recall, she laid out
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Speaker 1: some plans for what they might eat and knowing that
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Speaker 1: I'm not too great in the kitchen. She was very gracious.
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Speaker 1: You might want to do this or that. Well, I've
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Speaker 1: I set that aside, and the first morning, the kids said, hey, Dad,
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Speaker 1: what do you want to do for breakfast? I said,
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Speaker 1: let's go out. So I took them all to 7-Eleven.
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Speaker 1: And they sell these great little white doughnuts in little packages.
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Speaker 1: Every man here is laughing because you've done this. And
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Speaker 1: so I said, take all you want. And they're like, whoa.
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Speaker 1: So then I got them a big giant Slurpee. By
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Speaker 1: the way, they're all in their pajamas. Two of them
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Speaker 1: are still barefoot. And so to eat it, since we're
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Speaker 1: going to eat out, we sat on the curb. And
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Speaker 1: we sat down in front of the 7-Eleven and, boy,
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Speaker 1: these are great, Dad. Mom's never fixed these before. I know, son.
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Speaker 1: I know. By the way, don't tell your mom about
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Speaker 1: all of this. Cars drove by and looked at us
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Speaker 1: sort of pathetically like, oh. And our kids waved at them.
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Speaker 1: I said, don't wave. Don't wave at them. Just Just
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Speaker 1: enjoy your meal. Dad, can I have some more donuts? Yep,
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Speaker 1: go on in. And give him a dollar, and he
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Speaker 1: bought another stack of donuts. So about 11 o'clock that day,
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Speaker 1: they're still in their pajamas. So we go down to
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Speaker 1: see their mom. Now, in those days, they wouldn't let
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Speaker 1: children in the hospital. So we stood outside, and she's
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Speaker 1: on the second floor, okay? And so we're going to Hey, hey.
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Speaker 1: And so she sees us, and she comes over, and
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Speaker 1: she looks down, and she sees the kids in their pajamas.
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Speaker 1: Is everything okay? Hey, Mom, Mom, you'll never believe what
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Speaker 1: we had for breakfast. White donuts and Slurpees. It was terrific.
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Speaker 1: And one of the girls said, Daddy got me a
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Speaker 1: Snickers as a special part of the breakfast. And Mom,
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Speaker 1: and Cynthia goes, Honey, honey, I go, uh, We'll talk
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Speaker 1: about it later, okay? We'll discuss it later. And to
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Speaker 1: this day, the children say, Dad, that is the best
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Speaker 1: breakfast we ever had in our lives. All right. And
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Speaker 1: then Mom got home, and we didn't have white doughnuts
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Speaker 1: and Slurpees anymore. We don't know how to do it.
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Speaker 1: We can't even act like we know how to do it.
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Speaker 1: We just, you know, whatever it takes... Whatever you want
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Speaker 1: to sleep in, sleep in that. Wherever you want to sleep,
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Speaker 1: just sleep. On and on and on we go. Then
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Speaker 1: you get to Proverbs 31. Oh, man. And you think,
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Speaker 1: I'm doing my very best. I think there's not a
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Speaker 1: woman hearing me right now that wouldn't say that. Well,
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Speaker 1: there may be one or two, but you're... you're certainly
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Speaker 1: not in the majority. You're doing your very best. You've
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Speaker 1: been doing that since you got pregnant. You've been doing
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Speaker 1: your best trying to rear your children and trying not
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Speaker 1: to make the mistakes your folks made. And here you
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Speaker 1: make other mistakes and try not to blow it. You
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Speaker 1: blow it. Try not to lose your cool. You lose
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Speaker 1: your cool and you run out of energy. You promise
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Speaker 1: at the beginning of the day you're not going to
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Speaker 1: raise your voice, and by 8.30 in the morning, you're
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Speaker 1: all over it, and you feel ashamed. So I want
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Speaker 1: to set the record straight about Proverbs 31. I've got
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Speaker 1: a tough job. I've got to teach this passage, and
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Speaker 1: I want to do it right, but I want to
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Speaker 1: do it realistically. First of all, I would almost be
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Speaker 1: willing to bet that most of you have never thought
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Speaker 1: about an idea that came to me while two weeks
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Speaker 1: ago I began my work in this. This is mother-in-law advice.
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Speaker 1: Hear that guy? He's got a mother-in-law. He understands. Now,
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Speaker 1: this is. Look at the beginning of the chapter. I
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Speaker 1: didn't read it. I saved it for right now. Look
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Speaker 1: at it for yourself. In the message we read, the
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Speaker 1: words of King Lemuel, the strong advice his mother gave him.
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Speaker 1: That's in the message. That's how that begins. This is
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Speaker 1: strong advice. It sure is. And it comes from his
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Speaker 1: mother and it's to King Lemuel. Don't waste your time
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Speaker 1: doing a big research on Lemuel. You won't find him.
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Speaker 1: A scholar as great as Charles Ryrie says we know
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Speaker 1: nothing of King Lemuel. So we know nothing of his mother.
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Speaker 1: Many read it and quickly assume that it's Solomon who
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Speaker 1: wrote many of the Proverbs. But there's no tracing of
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Speaker 1: Lemuel to Solomon. The only link would be both were kings.
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Speaker 1: But this is Lemuel, the bachelor king. He doesn't have
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Speaker 1: a wife. So his mother is writing him, let's call
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Speaker 1: him Lem, so that we can kind of identify with him,
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Speaker 1: bring him down to our level. She's saying to Lem, Lim,
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Speaker 1: you're royalty. You're already a king. Now you're seeking a wife,
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Speaker 1: you don't have one. This is, aim high, Lim, aim high.
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Speaker 1: And here's the list to go by. Now it's starting
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Speaker 1: to make more sense, doesn't it? I mean, this is
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Speaker 1: the list your mother-in-law had for you, ladies. when your
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Speaker 1: husband married you. And you could never quite measure up.
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Speaker 1: My mother, I'm convinced, never met a woman that would
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Speaker 1: qualify as either my brother's wife or my wife. And
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Speaker 1: so that's another story. But I think if I'd have
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Speaker 1: met the Virgin Mary, she wouldn't have qualified. It just
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Speaker 1: wasn't enough. So she... She had a standard that was
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Speaker 1: way up there. Well, that's Lim's mama. And she's writing
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Speaker 1: him to aim high. Think about it. Your wife's going
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Speaker 1: to become the wife of a king. You have a kingdom.
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Speaker 1: You're royalty. She needs to be healthy, of course. She
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Speaker 1: will become wealthy as the king's wife. She certainly needs
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Speaker 1: to be sharp, wise. Look for that. Set your goals high.
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Speaker 1: There isn't a mother sitting in my presence today who
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Speaker 1: would tell her son anything but that if their son
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Speaker 1: was seeking a wife. You would say things like, be
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Speaker 1: on the lookout when you're at school for those that
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Speaker 1: stand out. Look for those who are unselfish. Pay attention
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Speaker 1: when you're in social groups and watch the girls around you.
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Speaker 1: Notice those that pay attention to others, those who have
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Speaker 1: pretty clever comments, those who come across realistically. They're not
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Speaker 1: playing a role. They're real. You're looking for real people
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Speaker 1: By the way, what you can't see in our English
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Speaker 1: version is how this is put together. Before I get there,
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Speaker 1: verse 10, I want to say a few words about
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Speaker 1: verses 1 to 9. Notice early on in verses 1
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Speaker 1: through 4, Lem's mother, she isn't named, but she says
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Speaker 1: to him, Don't look towards some wild group of women,
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Speaker 1: those who are out of control. They're not going to
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Speaker 1: make you a good wife. Stay away from those women.
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Speaker 1: They're fast. They're unreliable. They've probably been intimate with many men.
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Speaker 1: You don't want that. Aim high. When you get down
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Speaker 1: to the next couple of verses, she says, don't drink
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Speaker 1: a lot of A lot of wine. Kings don't linger
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Speaker 1: over a lot of booze. When you do that, you
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Speaker 1: make stupid decisions. So she's giving him advice about that.
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Speaker 1: And then she says, don't forget the poor, the needy,
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Speaker 1: those who don't have a voice. You're the king. You've
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Speaker 1: got to provide a voice for them. See, she's looking
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Speaker 1: out for her son's better interest. And then she gets
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Speaker 1: back to the subject after saying, these are who you
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Speaker 1: don't want to look for. Let's get into those that
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Speaker 1: are going to be worth your time beginning at verse
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Speaker 1: 10 down through verse 31 if you take the time
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Speaker 1: to count the verses you will come up with the
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Speaker 1: number of letters there are in the Hebrew alphabet this
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Speaker 1: was originally written in Hebrew and what makes this interesting
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Speaker 1: is that this is an alphabetical acrostic poem what does
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Speaker 1: that mean Well, when you begin at verse 10, that
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Speaker 1: verse begins with the first letter in the Hebrew alphabet.
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Speaker 1: Like our letter A, the Hebrew alphabet begins with Aleph.
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Speaker 1: The next verse, verse 11, begins with the second letter
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Speaker 1: in the Hebrew alphabet, Beth. They don't have a C
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Speaker 1: in the Hebrew language. The third letter is Gemel. So
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Speaker 1: the next verse you'll see right here, verse 12 it
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Speaker 1: would be, begins with Gimel. And the next one begins
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Speaker 1: with Daleth. That's the fourth letter. And then He and
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Speaker 1: Val and Zion, Cheth, Teth, Yoth, Koth, Lament, Mem, Nun, Samach, Ayam, Peit, Tzadik, Kof, Resh, Sin, Shintau.
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Speaker 1: All the way through the alphabet to the end. Why?
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Speaker 1: I mean, if you're going to write a poem, it's
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Speaker 1: hard enough, but to write an acrostic. It says a
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Speaker 1: lot for this mother. She's giving Lem and all of us,
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Speaker 1: through the inspiration of the Spirit of God, a little
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Speaker 1: memory help. It'll be easier to memorize 10 through 31
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Speaker 1: if you can think in terms of the alphabet in
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Speaker 1: every new verse. you begin with the next letter in
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Speaker 1: the alphabet. In fact, I came across this in my study.
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Speaker 1: Listen to this quote. Tradition has it that husbands and children...
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Speaker 1: Notice who's left out. Moms are left out of the picture.
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Speaker 1: Tradition has it that husbands and children in Jewish homes
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Speaker 1: memorized these verses... then recited them at the table on
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Speaker 1: Friday nights during or after the family ate their Sabbath
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Speaker 1: meal together. What a great thought. If you were Jewish,
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Speaker 1: you would observe the Sabbath from the sundown on Friday
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Speaker 1: through the sundown on Saturday. Called today in Israel Shabbat.
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Speaker 1: Still observe Shabbat. And at the first Shabbat meal, which
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Speaker 1: is Friday evening, there'd be a special time of recitation.
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Speaker 1: For I'm impressed the fact that husbands along with children
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Speaker 1: would recite this poem as their mother sat at the table.
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Speaker 1: What a great thought. Here you are, mothers, sitting at
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Speaker 1: the table, listening to children and your husband looking at
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Speaker 1: you quoting from memory these statements right from the book
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Speaker 1: of Proverbs. One wonders if that tradition continues to today.
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Speaker 1: If you have an Orthodox Jewish friend, ask them. See
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Speaker 1: if they still do that. We live next door to
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Speaker 1: a Jewish family. I think I'm going to ask the
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Speaker 1: dad if they still do that. I'm I'm interested in that.
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Speaker 1: But keep the original context in mind. These are words
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Speaker 1: of advice from Lem's mother, knowing that he's looking for
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Speaker 1: a wife, and she's saying to him, I repeat, aim high.
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Speaker 1: Don't settle for less than the best. And here are
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Speaker 1: some of the things you want to look for. Now
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Speaker 1: I said earlier, and I'm going to repeat it, relax.
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Speaker 1: No one lives up to all of these things. No
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Speaker 1: one is perfect. But this is a goal to shoot for.
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Speaker 1: This is an aim you can take on life. To
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Speaker 1: begin with, consider your value before God. which is easy
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Speaker 1: to forget in the midst of all the things you're
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Speaker 1: responsible for as a mother. Some people have the mistaken
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Speaker 1: idea that if a woman is a godly woman, she's
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Speaker 1: more the retiring, servile, domestic type, always domestic type woman.
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Speaker 1: That doesn't sound like the woman in Proverbs 31 to me.
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Speaker 1: There's nothing retiring or servile She's domestic, but she's far
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Speaker 1: more than that. She's balanced. She's enterprising. She's competent. She's capable.
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Speaker 1: She's interested in even importing goods and managing others and
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Speaker 1: organizing life, planning and dealing with real estate. Did you
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Speaker 1: get that? She sees a plot of land and buys it.
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Speaker 1: She even plants a vineyard and grows the vines. The
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Speaker 1: grapes on the vines, she's working to provide for her
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Speaker 1: needs and the needs of her family. She's an energetic,
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Speaker 1: active person, encouraging them. There's nothing retiring about her, nor
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Speaker 1: should there be about you, thinking that that will make
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Speaker 1: you godly. Let's understand. Godly is a broad perspective. Fits
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Speaker 1: every personality. You fit into it. So relax. It doesn't
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Speaker 1: mean you have to go to a seminary or that
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Speaker 1: you have to memorize Proverbs 31, 10 through 31. You
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Speaker 1: can be who you are. And you use this as
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Speaker 1: a guide as you think about your role as a woman,
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Speaker 1: as a mother, when the children are growing up and
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Speaker 1: beyond those years. Here is a woman who is neither
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Speaker 1: fragile nor fearful. She laughs at the future. She has
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Speaker 1: nothing to fear. She's making arrangements for the future. She
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Speaker 1: has great character. Verse 30 tells us charm is deceptive
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Speaker 1: and beauty has a shelf life. It's temporary life. You
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Speaker 1: may have been beautiful when you first came to the
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Speaker 1: altar 25, 30, 40, 50 years ago, but you look
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Speaker 1: in the mirror and you see a woman that doesn't
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Speaker 1: fit that same beauty. You don't still fit into your
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Speaker 1: wedding dress. You picket yourself because you're not everything you
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Speaker 1: once looked like. Stop it. You're your worst critic. Those
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Speaker 1: around you who love you never ask you what you weigh.
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Speaker 1: Think about it. They always talk about the beauty of
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Speaker 1: your life, meaning your character, what you represent to them.
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Speaker 1: That's why Lem's mama emphasizes that. She has a fear
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Speaker 1: of the Lord. That means she holds him in high esteem,
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Speaker 1: but she doesn't walk around all day quoting verses of scriptures.
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Speaker 1: She doesn't necessarily know her Bible from front to the back.
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Speaker 1: Her life is praiseworthy because she pours herself into others
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Speaker 1: with a pure heart. You can be any age, any weight,
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Speaker 1: any height, any appearance, and you can fit right into that. Relax.
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Speaker 1: This is about you. She's secure also. You see that
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Speaker 1: in verse 25? I know I'm skipping around, but that's
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Speaker 1: the way it is in the Proverbs. You don't go
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Speaker 1: from verse to verse to verse to verse. You go
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Speaker 1: from one to the other in various subjects. Look at 25.
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Speaker 1: She's clothed with strength and dignity. I love the way
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Speaker 1: that reads. It's the pin portrait of inner security. She's
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Speaker 1: comfortable in her own skin, we would say. She's not
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Speaker 1: trying to be the woman next door or the woman
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Speaker 1: in that TV show. She's not competing with someone else
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Speaker 1: in the neighborhood or, worst of all, trying to compete
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Speaker 1: with her husband. Please, enjoy the fact that you're a woman,
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Speaker 1: that you were made a woman, greatly needed in this
29:48
Speaker 1: age when they're all blending together and all looking for
29:52
Speaker 1: changes of gender. I came across an interesting piece that
29:56
Speaker 1: I paraphrased that I want you to listen to very carefully.
30:00
Speaker 1: This is wisdom in print. The woman who is secure
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Speaker 1: in Christ, regardless of her marital status, does not need
30:15
Speaker 1: to abandon her role for something better. If women felt
30:24
Speaker 1: equal with men in personal worth, as they certainly are,
30:30
Speaker 1: they wouldn't need to be equivalent to men and competitive
30:35
Speaker 1: with men in responsibility. If they could only bask in
30:40
Speaker 1: the dignity and status guaranteed to them by their creator.
30:45
Speaker 1: I love the way that reads. then their femininity would
30:52
Speaker 1: be valued as their greatest asset rather than scorned as
30:58
Speaker 1: an old garment to be discarded. I may sound awfully
31:03
Speaker 1: old-fashioned here, but there are a few things more beautiful
31:06
Speaker 1: than your femininity. I'm not saying that you're dainty. Not
31:11
Speaker 1: all women are dainty. Not all women are prim and proper.
31:18
Speaker 1: Not all women are any one thing. But you can
31:22
Speaker 1: all be feminine. And how beautiful to appreciate your femininity
31:28
Speaker 1: just as I've always appreciated men who accepted their masculinity.
31:34
Speaker 1: Doesn't mean you walk around flexing your muscles and talking
31:38
Speaker 1: about how strong you are. That isn't masculinity, that's arrogance.
31:44
Speaker 1: You know who you are as a man. You know
31:47
Speaker 1: who you are as a woman. It goes on to say,
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Speaker 1: in many ways, the future of our nation depends on
31:55
Speaker 1: how it values its women. He writes, I hope we
32:01
Speaker 1: will teach our girls as they are growing up to
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Speaker 1: be glad they were chosen by God for the specific
32:10
Speaker 1: responsibilities and pleasures of womanhood. There's something beautiful about it.
32:21
Speaker 1: And I will tell you, as we bask in the
32:25
Speaker 1: twilight with the wives of our lives, we often sit
32:32
Speaker 1: in awe of you. I know I do. And I
32:36
Speaker 1: know I did not marry anyone perfect. I mean, had
32:40
Speaker 1: she been, she'd have left me a long time ago.
32:43
Speaker 1: But she didn't. And she doesn't appear to be or
32:48
Speaker 1: need to be perfect. Just needs to be a woman,
32:53
Speaker 1: which is something I cannot be. And I admire greatly,
32:57
Speaker 1: haven't even words that I can find that describe my admiration.
33:06
Speaker 1: Let's observe her role, now that I've gotten to the point,
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Speaker 1: as a wife. Let me begin with some clarifying remarks here.
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Speaker 1: Not every woman is called to marry. If you're not
33:21
Speaker 1: married and you're getting up in years, that's fine. And
33:25
Speaker 1: by the way, this is a good time to pass
33:27
Speaker 1: a little advice that's not requested along to others of
33:33
Speaker 1: you that will be tempted to ask, what's wrong with her?
33:37
Speaker 1: She's not married. Well, what's wrong with you for asking that?
33:44
Speaker 1: Where does it read in the scriptures that all women
33:46
Speaker 1: are to marry? Or that all women are to be single?
33:51
Speaker 1: Or that all women are to be anything? Like all men.
33:58
Speaker 1: Some very competent, capable, godly women have never known a husband.
34:03
Speaker 1: Or they've been divorced. Or they've lost their mate. And
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Speaker 1: they're going on with their lives. Talk about admiring folks.
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Speaker 1: Widows that go on with their lives. And they don't marry.
34:20
Speaker 1: They don't choose to marry. Not every widow should marry.
34:25
Speaker 1: Some should. Again, that's however God leads. Some are called
34:31
Speaker 1: to a life of singleness. My sister was. Never married.
34:37
Speaker 1: Always bothered my mother. My mother was always talking to
34:41
Speaker 1: her about, have you met a man? I met one. Relax, Mom. Relax.
34:51
Speaker 1: Do you have a son that hasn't married? It's okay.
34:54
Speaker 1: It's okay. Relax. It's my favorite word today. Take the
35:01
Speaker 1: sweat out of it, folks. If you are to be
35:08
Speaker 1: a partner in life with a man, then God has
35:13
Speaker 1: chosen that one for you. And it's a calling, just
35:19
Speaker 1: as the life of singleness could be very easily seen
35:22
Speaker 1: as a calling. Accept that. Respect that. And your role
35:33
Speaker 1: as a married woman and a woman with children, and ultimately,
35:37
Speaker 1: by the grace of God, grandchildren, and you'll never be
35:42
Speaker 1: the perfect grandmother. Relax about that. You'll always meet another
35:49
Speaker 1: grandmother that's doing what you're not doing. You know, she
35:55
Speaker 1: may make their bedspreads. Well, that's great. Or she may quilt.
36:01
Speaker 1: And You're not even good with putting the thread through
36:04
Speaker 1: the needle. And you live long enough, you'll never get
36:07
Speaker 1: that thread through the needle. Take it from me. You're
36:11
Speaker 1: not good with stuff like that. It's okay. Hey, relax.
36:18
Speaker 1: There's no special ultimate reward for those who quilt. Or
36:27
Speaker 1: for those who stop quilting. It's okay. You have to
36:30
Speaker 1: confess that. It's okay. Be who you are. It starts
36:38
Speaker 1: with knowing who you are. I love the way Jim
36:43
Speaker 1: Dobson puts it. We aren't who we are. We aren't
36:45
Speaker 1: even who we think we are. We are who we
36:48
Speaker 1: think other people think we are. And what a miserable
36:53
Speaker 1: existence that is. I remember the great day in my
36:57
Speaker 1: life when I stopped trying to be anyone else in
37:00
Speaker 1: the pulpit but myself. You know who I learned that from?
37:06
Speaker 1: She's with us today. This lady said to me as
37:09
Speaker 1: I was struggling and struggling, we were in New England
37:13
Speaker 1: and I was 10 years out of seminary trying to
37:17
Speaker 1: be one prof after another and trying to be one
37:22
Speaker 1: eloquent preacher after another. And she said to me, why
37:26
Speaker 1: don't you just be you? I thought, what are you
37:31
Speaker 1: talking about? She goes, you're fun to be with. But
37:36
Speaker 1: when you get in the pulpit, it's like, all right,
37:40
Speaker 1: all right. She was right. I was driving the sheep.
37:49
Speaker 1: You know, I realized I didn't have to walk on water.
37:55
Speaker 1: You know, I'm doing good to pass water. So I
38:01
Speaker 1: don't have to walk on water. The rest is none
38:07
Speaker 1: of your business, okay? I love the way it writes
38:16
Speaker 1: about her husband and her. Look at this, guys who've
38:20
Speaker 1: stopped praising your wives. That's where a little rebuke is needed.
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Speaker 1: It's the last time you really, really poured it on.
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Speaker 1: without any other plans in mind, but just telling her
38:33
Speaker 1: how great she is. Her husband, verse 11 into verse 12,
38:40
Speaker 1: trusts her. He's never suspicious. When he's away, even away
38:48
Speaker 1: for a day, a night, another day, never once suspicious.
38:52
Speaker 1: He trusts her. She will do him only good all
38:56
Speaker 1: the days of her life. Never suspicious. He respects her
39:01
Speaker 1: and that means he listens when she speaks. He values
39:05
Speaker 1: her opinion. The best advice you're going to get, man,
39:12
Speaker 1: is from your wife. Listen again. Listen again to that.
39:19
Speaker 1: The best advice you will get will come from her
39:23
Speaker 1: because she knows you best. You can trust her it's
39:30
Speaker 1: easy for a wife to forget how valuable her role
39:33
Speaker 1: is think about those whose wives brought them down may
39:38
Speaker 1: I for a moment Solomon's wives turned his heart away
39:44
Speaker 1: from the Lord do you know that It's in 1 Kings.
39:49
Speaker 1: You'll read about it. Abigail saved her husband's life. A
39:56
Speaker 1: fool named Nabal. David was on his way to kill him,
40:00
Speaker 1: and Abigail stepped in and was the advocate. And she
40:04
Speaker 1: saved the life of a man who was making her
40:07
Speaker 1: life miserable. Abigail, what a great, great lady. Ahab's wife
40:14
Speaker 1: was Jezebel, and she led Ahab along with his own
40:19
Speaker 1: evil plans into an evil kingship. What a wicked rule
40:26
Speaker 1: they had. Amram, a name you will hardly even remember,
40:33
Speaker 1: he had a wife named Jochebed. They already had two children,
40:37
Speaker 1: and when the third one came along, they named him Moshe. Moses.
40:45
Speaker 1: And it was Jochebed who came up with the creative
40:48
Speaker 1: idea of that little basket that would float in the
40:54
Speaker 1: Nile without leaking, knowing that the daughter of Pharaoh would come.
41:00
Speaker 1: And she worked out a plan so she would keep
41:02
Speaker 1: Moses long enough to instill within him a godly, godly understanding.
41:11
Speaker 1: That's Jochebed. the wife of Amram, mother and father of Moses.
41:17
Speaker 1: People you probably didn't even know their name. And since
41:22
Speaker 1: we're in Egypt, I have to mention Potiphar's wife. Rather
41:26
Speaker 1: than being faithful to Potiphar, she was seducing Joseph and
41:30
Speaker 1: who knows how many other men. She was a woman
41:35
Speaker 1: you couldn't trust, but the result was Joseph never yielded
41:40
Speaker 1: and He was thrown into prison for two years from
41:43
Speaker 1: her false accusation of rape. He never touched her. And Herodias,
41:52
Speaker 1: can you link her up? The wife of Herod, whose
41:57
Speaker 1: daughter Salome danced in front of drunken Herod, who promised
42:04
Speaker 1: her half his kingdom. And she raced to her mother
42:07
Speaker 1: and said, what shall I ask for? And the mother,
42:10
Speaker 1: who was bitter toward John the Baptizer, said, ask for
42:13
Speaker 1: the head of John the Baptist. The next thing they knew,
42:18
Speaker 1: they brought in the head of the recently murdered John
42:23
Speaker 1: the Baptizer. A woman, a wife of Herod. Women, your
42:32
Speaker 1: role could not be more important Just as Lem's mother said,
42:39
Speaker 1: aim high, pick up the torch and follow it. Keep
42:45
Speaker 1: your sights high. And of course, I hardly need to mention,
42:53
Speaker 1: your devotion and sacrifice for your children goes on all
42:59
Speaker 1: your life. You just never stop loving them. They break
43:04
Speaker 1: your heart, They move away from the Lord and you
43:09
Speaker 1: just keep loving them and you cry yourself to sleep
43:13
Speaker 1: at night, longing that they would return and you may
43:17
Speaker 1: not live to see it. Keep loving them. Keep sacrificing
43:23
Speaker 1: for them. Don't chide yourself because some of them turn
43:28
Speaker 1: out wayward. You're not responsible for that. Every child has
43:33
Speaker 1: his or her own will. but the love of a mother.
43:40
Speaker 1: I mean, you can't be richer than having the memory
43:44
Speaker 1: of a mother who loved you. Jerry Bauer, in his
43:50
Speaker 1: fine book, Our Journey Home, includes this true and touching story.
44:01
Speaker 1: The Tompkins family Mother and father and their two teenage
44:07
Speaker 1: sons lived in a trailer park in Woodbridge, Virginia, a
44:14
Speaker 1: southern suburb of Washington, D.C. Last April 9, a fire
44:21
Speaker 1: broke out in the trailer while the family was asleep.
44:27
Speaker 1: Their home was quickly engulfed in flames. but the parents
44:32
Speaker 1: managed to scramble outside. Firemen had already arrived and were
44:40
Speaker 1: trying to rescue the boys, Adam and Benjamin, who were
44:45
Speaker 1: trapped in their room. Neighbors tried to restrain her, but
44:52
Speaker 1: Lily Tompkins screamed, My babies are in there! My babies
44:57
Speaker 1: are in there! and broke from their grasp and rushed in.
45:01
Speaker 1: into the burning trailer. One spectator remarked she was on
45:08
Speaker 1: fire the moment she ran through that door. After the
45:15
Speaker 1: blaze was extinguished, firemen found her body just outside the
45:20
Speaker 1: room where Adam and Benjamin lay dead. This age of
45:28
Speaker 1: ours doesn't value folk wisdom very highly, but it was
45:32
Speaker 1: folk wisdom that one of the Tompkins' neighbors relied upon
45:38
Speaker 1: when asked to comment by reporters. He said, well, I've
45:45
Speaker 1: heard it said that a mother will go through fire
45:49
Speaker 1: for her children, and that's what she did. Gary Bauer adds,
45:59
Speaker 1: It should give us pause to realize that if we
46:03
Speaker 1: were to go to the statistics alone, we would find
46:10
Speaker 1: neighborhoods like the Tompkins Trailer Park wouldn't count for much
46:15
Speaker 1: in most people's eyes. It would rate low on the
46:19
Speaker 1: income scale and probably very high in dysfunctional families. The
46:30
Speaker 1: experts tell us that abuse and neglect of children are
46:36
Speaker 1: common among the poor, yet this neighborhood gave us Lily
46:42
Speaker 1: Tompkins who shouted, my babies are in there, and then
46:49
Speaker 1: rushed in to be with them and ran into the
46:53
Speaker 1: arms of a loving God. Would any of us not
47:01
Speaker 1: do the same? I don't know when I first realized
47:08
Speaker 1: that the lives of my children and my wife became
47:11
Speaker 1: more important than my own, confesses Bauer. But I know
47:17
Speaker 1: without a doubt that like most parents, I would willingly
47:22
Speaker 1: die for my family. Just as importantly, We must live
47:33
Speaker 1: for them. To all you ladies, thank you. Thank you.
47:46
Speaker 1: Thank you to each one of you for carrying your
47:50
Speaker 1: child nine months when you didn't have to. You chose to.
47:59
Speaker 1: For seeing the value in that pregnancy. for having that
48:03
Speaker 1: baby or those babies. And then alongside your husband, if
48:09
Speaker 1: he stayed with you, or even if he didn't, you
48:13
Speaker 1: stayed with them. We salute you on this special day.
48:22
Speaker 1: This very special Mother's Day. Knowing that not one of
48:28
Speaker 1: you is perfect, we like it like that. At least
48:33
Speaker 1: in that way we can identify with you. But I
48:37
Speaker 1: often repeat to myself the words of Abraham Lincoln, no
48:41
Speaker 1: man is poor who has had a godly mother. Many
48:47
Speaker 1: of us are rich, and you make us so. I've
48:54
Speaker 1: decided to begin a brief series on the family that
48:59
Speaker 1: I will continue on next week and on through the
49:02
Speaker 1: month of June, through the rest of this month and
49:05
Speaker 1: all of June, as we focus on some of the
49:08
Speaker 1: roles that are important among those we would die for.
49:14
Speaker 1: It's a great time for you today. to just pause
49:21
Speaker 1: long enough to give God thanks. And if your mothers
49:25
Speaker 1: are living, to tell them how much they mean to
49:31
Speaker 1: you and how much they mean to your children. Those
49:43
Speaker 1: words of Lily Tompkins rang in my mind through the
49:47
Speaker 1: night as I was restless. My babies are in there.
49:54
Speaker 1: Still saw them as her babies. Her precious, priceless children.
50:02
Speaker 1: That's what makes a mother great. Thank you for being great. Lord,
50:14
Speaker 1: you've given us a lot of wonderful, wonderful gifts. Very
50:19
Speaker 1: few more important than those who birthed us and reared us.
50:29
Speaker 1: And for those of us who have the privilege of
50:31
Speaker 1: living with great mothers, we will thank you to the
50:36
Speaker 1: end of our days for what we see in them
50:41
Speaker 1: and witness from them. Thank you for Lily Tompkins who
50:48
Speaker 1: gave her life trying to reach and rescue her boys.
50:57
Speaker 1: Reminds me to thank you for Jesus who died for us.
51:05
Speaker 1: How grateful we are for the Savior who never met
51:11
Speaker 1: a sinner he didn't love. and never turned his back
51:16
Speaker 1: on one who called for help. We worship you today
51:25
Speaker 1: with gratitude, deep gratitude, in the name of our Savior Christ.
51:33
Speaker 1: Everyone said amen.
51:37
Speaker 2: The preceding message, Encouragement for Mothers and Others, was copyrighted
51:43
Speaker 2: in 2022 and 2023, and the sound recording was copyrighted
51:48
Speaker 2: in 2023 by Charles R. Swindoll, Inc. All rights are
51:53
Speaker 2: reserved worldwide. Duplication of copyrighted material for commercial use is
51:58
Speaker 2: strictly prohibited.