Latest / Jess Ask / Grieving What You Saw (feat. Elizabeth Pickens)

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Grieving What You Saw (feat. Elizabeth Pickens) · Jess Ask

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Hey, it's your girl, jess You've just entered a safe space for Kingdom
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entrepreneurs and creatives to decompress, have fun, and yeah, you've guessed it
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a safe place to just ask. Before we get into it, be sure
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to subscribe and download the podcast follow me on all platforms at the Jessica Smith
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and invital friend. Also make sure you DM me your feedback and questions so
0:36
we can keep the conversation going. Now, let's get into this week's episode.
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Hey, y'all, what's up? This is your Girl Jessica and I
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am super excited about this episode. Y'all. Let me tell y'all. So
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I gotta guess, and we don't know each other for real, but we
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gonna we're gonna get the doll each other in real life, like I've been
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hurt one time and ow daddies, like Elizabeth, how you doing since I
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am, well, thank you so much for inviting me. I'm just so
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happy and honored to be a part of the show. I know tonight it's
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gonna be dope. So so it's exciting. So we are Like so,
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Elizabeth, I met in January in some unforeseen circumstances. I beloved Pastor Mail
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passed away, and so we met at the funeral and through that good old
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apostle, Christian Teehowe, only him, only him, And you know,
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if you know him, you know that when he connects people, right,
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you weren't even really trying to connect us. It's just like organically happen,
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happen me, you and Marianne. And so I'm excited to learn you I
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am. It's like it's so you know, like when you get the opportunity
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to like be around other women that like will embrace what's going on versus like,
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oh she made she all day and competition wise, like I I dealt
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with it probably too many times, too many times to YouTube girl, Yeah
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I was gonna say me too. And I think like going back to us
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meeting, I, you know, just the prophetic words that you all gave
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me, it just really pulled me in because not even necessarily just the substance
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of what you all said, but just the purity of where it came from.
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And that's when I knew. I was like, Okay, I need
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to connect to them after this, Like how can I connect to them after
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this? I'm just so glad that we were able to connect because you can
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just always tell the purity of somebody's spirit, like whenever you first meet them.
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And so I just knew, like when we met, I was like,
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Okay, this is a done deal. I'm gonna see them again.
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We're gonna hang out something, something's gonna happen, you know. So I'm
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just really happy, you're excited that we're further um connecting and you know,
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growing our friendship. So come on, now, go ahead and put a
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label on it. I'm open today. I'm open today the friendship. Come
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on, because I'm learning. I'm learning in different seasons, like not to
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be afraid of labeling certain relationships because I've heard in the past. Right yeah,
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and before, girl, I seem like we've been to tap ind I
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want before before Look, it's about to go there before we get too deep,
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because I feel like this conversation is about to be a conversation right before
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we get too deep into it. Tell us about yourself, Elizabeth, tell
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tell us. As we talked, our community just asks this is a safe
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space for entrepreneurs and creatives to just decompressed. Let's talk about it. Let's
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talk about what's on my mind. And I know, girl, you you're
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doing. You're doing a dog all things. So tell tell the people what's
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going on, how to get by you? Who is Elizabeth? Who is
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Elizabeth? You know I get that question a lot, and one thing that
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I can say is that I am still discovering who Elizabeth is. But the
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current person that I have discovered so far is number one. My name is
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Elizabeth Pickens. I am from the Midwest, born and raised Missouri, Missouri
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girl. I have lived in several different states, but I have my main
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time has been in Missouri. I am an entrepreneur, I'm an author.
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I'm also a faith based leader. So right now I lead a ministry called
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Seek Sessions where we equip, train, and in part those that are desiring
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to develop their prayer, their prayer time with the Lord. We teach them
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how to develop that and strengthen the intercessors so that they can stand on guard
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and fulfill their assignments that God has called them to. Like I said,
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I'm also an entrepreneur, so I am a jack of many trades. I
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literally can almost do a lot of things, many things, and so you
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can't limit me to one thing. So if it's design, creativity, administer
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all types of stuff. Whatever the Lord put to me in that moment to
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actually do, he just kind of graces me to be able to carry it
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out. And it's always for somebody. So I find myself often learning new
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things for people to help them with their assignments. But also I think that
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my entrepreneurial endeavors have really help me to, um just get through life as
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well. So I'm I'm an entrepreneur. I'm a like life insurance broker,
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so I also provide life insurance. Um. So yeah, I'm a sister,
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I'm a daughter, I'm an auntie. I'm my nieces and nephew's favorite
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auntie. So I gotta put that in there. So little folks, I
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gotta let them know because you know, they other aunts and uncles, they'd
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be feeling some type alway. But anyway, um but yeah, so that's
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that's that's about me. That's a little bit about me. So listen,
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you just don't know. I hear everything. I feel like I hear everything.
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And you said two things that stuck out in me. I had to
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pull my pianout. Okay, I'm gonna go with the first thing. One
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of the things you said was that you're good at a lot of things,
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and it's you. First of all, you sound like you're okay with it,
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like that does not frustrate you. I'm getting there, okay because okay,
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because with the predit, we're about to we're about to have a whole
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because you just said, whatever the Lord allows you to do for the betterment
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of others, you take advantage of that, right, And that's what from
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one we kind of make entrepreneurship like more difficult than it probably has to be.
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Um. But I'm like you, like, I'm good at a lot
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of stuff. But I was posed a question like what do you what do
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you offer? Like I was like, oh, I'm trying to get my
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website together. I'm trying to get this out of it all. But it's
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like what are you offering? And so you just answered that question. It's
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like, whatever God wants me to offer in that moment, or whether the
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Lord leads me to assist other people, That's what I'm going to offer.
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And I know that it's I think it frustrates me. Let me just be
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transparent. I think it frustrates me because it's like I see people are able
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to target it right, like target, but when you're good at a lot
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of a lot like where what do I start, what do I finish?
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What do I go? What do I mean? I don't I don't know,
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I don't know. I agree. So this is my answer to that,
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or my comment to that, because that has also kind of been like
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one of my frustrations too. As I've been evolving, Like you know,
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the older I get, it's like still more stuff that I'm learning or I
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know how to do, and I've just learned to really accept the fact that,
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um, I know many things, I know how to do many things,
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and um, people like us, there's not a label for us.
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There's not a specific set thing like we're just, um, a person of
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many facets. That's that's how I feel, because to limit me to just
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one thing, you know, it's just extremely hard, you know. And
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so for me, whatever the grace is for that moment or that season,
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because there's always a grace for me to be able to do something, whether
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it's you know, creating a balloon arch, I'm just you know, giving
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an example, you know, and I'm doing it, you know, multiple
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times for a certain period of time until the Lord moves me into something else,
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Like I do that and then I move into whatever else I've learned to
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like stop, you know, being frustrated in the fact that I can't just
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do one thing, you know, because like you said, it is very
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frustrating because you hear people say, you know, find that one niche and
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hone in on that one thing. But what if there are many things that
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is that one niche? What if you are talented and being able to juggle
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multiple things, you know, and you're good at all of those things,
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you know, And I'm not saying that you shouldn't find that one niche in
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like hone in on that, but you know, I feel like I'm still
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figuring that out too. I feel like I'm you know, I don't have
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a definite answer, but I do. I will say that I am.
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I go with the flow of God. Like when guys it's like you're here,
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all right, that let's go and then you're here. But to me,
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that's liking unto an apostolic grace, because apostles don't just stay in one
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specific place and build. They build. Once they've done with that, move
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on to the next. We build it here. What we're doing, Okay,
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we gotta tear this down, We gotta build this back up. And
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so like for me, that's how I think. It's like, Okay,
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well, how am I gonna do this? Is what is the need for
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now? And then oh, not only that, not only that, how
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can I replicate it? Because I'm gonna tell you something, everything that I've
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created, I've always been able to teach somebody else how to do it,
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and then I just move on. I can always go back and do it,
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but I teach somebody else and then I'm able to move on. But
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like I said, God just gives me those graces, and so I think
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that, um, just really going with the flow of God. But go
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ahead, because if you look like you're trying to say something, if I
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was by you, I probably getting little feedback right here. But um,
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if I was by you right now, I would oh, I would be
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doing this like poking really hard at you. Because so this is such a
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God moment because I was just catching up on a devotional day we were reading
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as a group for the Mental Shield program I was part of, and they
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were talking about the sound of now, like how you have to have to
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come into your sound that comes out of you has to be the sound that
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God is speaking now and so even when when you said that, like,
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Okay, what is God doing now, you don't you don't know that.
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And this is this is such a part fixed segue um for what I really
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want to talk to you about. Um, you don't really know that without
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relationship, I really don't know the sound of now because without relationship um with
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God. And so that's where the frustration is it comes from. And I'll
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admit, you know, there's a maturity that I need to have with with
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my relationship with God. That's why I get frustrated so easily. That's why,
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you know, And I think people, especially when they look at me
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like I've had so many a few people, especially like m from high school,
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reach out to me and say, oh, I see what you're doing.
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You just see that, Yeah, you see that part, You see
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that part, You see me. That's a plea a little you see this.
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You don't see all of it. I get Listen if you saw the
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full movie and not just the trailer. Listen, Okay, because everybody don't
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want to buy that t They don't want to buy they might can't afford their
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TV that may not be able to afford it. Listen, Listen, can
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I call you Liz. You know, Lizabeth, you are more than welcome
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to call me Liz. Listen. So like, let's let's get into it.
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I wanted to read you something that you wrote on your Facebook page.
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Okay, um, because you're talking real good woman of God, and so
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you said that you have seek sessions. I wrote that. Now, the
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fact that you call them seeking sessions and not a prayer group, I think
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that's very It's not just creative, but it's very intentional because that was that's
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what we do. But we're gonna tap into that and take it. You
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said, so this is your right now, you're currently in a four week
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prayer intensive right and you said, um in this quote in this post on
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February or fifteenth. I've learned that don't be acting like that. I've learned
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that one of the primary reasons why prayer is not consistent on it daily basis,
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it's because many have not taken the time to develop a relationship with God.
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This leads to them praying amiss, not knowing what to pray, getting
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easily distracted in prayer, giving up and feeling hopeless, growing distant from and
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growing distant from God. It is easy to fall into the trap of prayerless
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life, or even fall into a season where life becomes so overwhelming that it
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becomes hard to take time to really pray and seek the Lord. So I
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really I think even listing those things and connecting that to what we're talking about
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now and in being quote unquote all over the place, I'm connected to me
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personally right now as far as like okay, my relationship or me feeling hopeless
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all right or all over the place, or not knowing what to do in
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the now and or being okay with with I what I'm hearing to do in
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the now, right, because sometimes we can hear what to do with the
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now but not agree what the what the now requires, right, And so
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I want you to expound on that a little bit, like what is what
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is your experience with that? What? What? What examples can you give
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us, like this is the this is you, this is you. I'm
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gonna give you the flow. Yeah. So first, I want to say
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that a lot of, if not all, of my posts that I post
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on social media are birth out of my own experiences. So specifically, when
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I was talking about that, I was talking about moments or times where I
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knew that prayer should have been on the agenda, the daily agenda, But
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because of my lack or my desire to really seek the Lord, you know
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it it wasn't you know, just like many people. Or it's not even
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just the lack of the desire of desire, but it could be because in
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time's past, the real thing was I was so busy, busy doing nothing,
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busy with everything else, that I did not develop an appetite, a
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strong enough appetite to where when other things that made me busy tould me away
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from God, I wasn't strong enough to keep myself sustained in Him. So
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it was so easy for me to come out of the presence of God with
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social media or with things you know, pertaining to a friendship, going out
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and hanging out with my friends, or you know, watching a good sitcom,
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or even church, because if we be honest, sometimes when you've done
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church so long, you become so relaxed with the ritualistic. It's a routine,
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like, you know, get up, go to the church on Sunday,
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Wednesday, you know, and it's just like a routine thing, and
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you become so comfortable with maintaining the routine that you don't you're not conscious enough
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to do have a deeper seat for the Lord. That was me And it
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wasn't until probably twenty twenty where I went through a situation I was engaged.
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The engagement was called off. Really, what happened was the Lord had said
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that he wanted to take us through a process. I had a dream told
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me that long story short. In result of that, the engagement was completely
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called off. I knew that the Lord wanted to take us through a process,
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specifically me, but I didn't know what that meant. I thought it
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was just like, we're gonna go through like a three or four month process,
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then we're gonna come back together. Then we're gonna be married and happily.
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Ever after we were still planning a wedding, blah blah blah. But
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God was like, no, there's a separation coming. And in that moment,
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I think that was the commencement of the Lord shifting me into a greater
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dimension of prayer and seeking Him. And it's so interesting that, like a
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lot for a lot of people, that one of the ways that God can
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get us into His presence is through a problem or through a proclivity or something
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that has terribly gone wrong, and then it's just like we just were ready
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to just run to his presence. Some people are like that, and then
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there are other people that when things are great, every time things are you
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know, good, we're in the presence of the Lord, and when things
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are bad, they're not, you know, And so you just have those
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A type people, B type people. But for me, I was the
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B type person where when something went wrong, that was when I actually had
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an honest seek, which is how seek sessions was birth. And we'll talk
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about that. But I noticed that, you know, a lot of people
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have not really tapped into having a consistent prayer life, which is simply communicating
19:06
with the Lord because of the fact that number one, there's people that have
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unbelief based off of trauma, based off of their history of you know,
19:15
things going wrong in their life, based off of you know, issues that
19:21
they were out of that weren't in their control, based off of just them
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not simply knowing the foundation of the Bible, of the Gospel, of the
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Good Word, of the good News of Jesus Christ, you know. And
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then you have other people that have been doing church for so long that they've
19:37
become so settled and it's become so mundane, and they've become so relaxed that
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you know where they are is where you know, if they're just comfortable.
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And then you have other people that you know they go to church, but
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the Bible talks about, you know, the honor me, with their lips,
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with their hearts are far away. They go to church for other motives,
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other reasons, you know. And then you have the other people that
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just don't you know. And there are many other reasons and or lists,
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but you know, mine primarily was I was just so busy, and I
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was busy doing nothing. Even though I was busy, I looked busy to
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everybody else. And I was busy with ministry, busy with relationship, busy
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with family and going out and doing all I had. I spent more time
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enjoying the things God gave me rather than enjoying God. And a lot of
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us we are so conditioned now to enjoy the things that God has provided us
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more than enjoying Him. So I had to relearn, and I'm still in
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that process of learning. To Elizabeth, do not get on your phone early
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in the morning when you're supposed to be seeking the Lord or when he calls
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you, you know, at late at night, do you come like you
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know, are you obedient to the simple things? It's let me tell you,
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this is how the Lord be talking to me. And I've had to
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learn that if I was consistent enough, or if we are consistent enough and
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doing the simple things and just being able to show up and pray or and
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we call it prayer, but I like to say, communicate with the Lord.
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If we're simple, if we are consistent enough in doing that, then
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we will be more confident when we're making decisions or when we're trying to get
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through our day, or we're more confident in knowing that, you know,
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my day is going to be a peaceful day rather than a day of chaos
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or calamity, you know, or even if it is chaotic or you know,
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calamity is happening, I know that I have the peace of the Lord
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because I already talked to him this morning. You know what I'm saying.
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So the class was and is a tool to really condition people to help them
21:56
learn how to communicate, not only learn, but develop a relationship that's solid
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that when the rain comes, the storms come, when distractions come, it
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doesn't matter like they can shut it down and go straight to the Lord.
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Like he is not our Plan B, he's our only plan. He's not
22:15
even a Plan A. He is the only plan. You know, he's
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not an alternative. And so that's what C sessions is about UM, and
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that's part of how it was birth. I hope to answered your question that
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was that that does answer because listen, because she's definitely those right now,
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you're sounds. I'm still I'm stepping on my toes. Listen, if we
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if we've been transferring like a lot of stuff, and I think I think
22:41
that that's something about UM. The opportunity that we have, Like even in
22:47
these conversations like this is what needs to be heard because I can guarantee you
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somebody's looking at you on Facebook and like, oh, she ain't gonna problem
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with plan She teaching the whole class on praying. She ain't got no problem
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problem with communicating with guy. She won't get this strike it or she she
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she good, She she bounced back from that relationship. She good. She's
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a honey. Like no, if you don't, if you listen, what's
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the song you knew? Come on, let's say, because y'all don't know
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listen, you don't know. You don't know what we say earlier. They
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know, like just just the trailer trailer, they know the free stuff that
23:30
you get to see on the Netflix channel or Hulu or Spectrum, that red
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TV trailer. You know, they might they might get you fit to nine.
23:41
I don't even care because that don't even that don't even suffice for what
23:45
is actually going on. Like and I think, I think this is this
23:48
is so great, and I want to tap into something. If you don't
23:52
mind, if you're if you feel you can tell me no, tell me
23:55
no. They gonna they're gonna hear you tell me no, but you could.
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They're gonna hear you tell me no, but you can tell me no.
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So, um, when we first met, oh you said, oh
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black, I can see your face right now, like I still see your
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face. So just to give y'all back story, So we're at the repast
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and me me, uh, Liz and Marian and Apostle how father father how
24:30
as I call him, yes, because that's what he is. He's definitely
24:34
a father. Um, he's gonna listen to this. You already knowber hey,
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Apostle Hey, But it was it was us and you know, we
24:45
were gathering and at first it was just you and Liz and father How and
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then Olive a saying I came over there, and you know, he does
24:53
his little introduction and the way the lord flows, I mean where he wants
24:57
to come out, just come out. And I just started talking. I'm
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thinking, I'm just talking, you know, I've just started talking, and
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the one guy just starts looking at me crazy, and I was like,
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okay, I'm I'm gonna be getting something because yeah, she were, yeah,
25:14
I must be hitting something. And so Marianne comes over. No,
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I bring Marianne over. Yes, Father Hell, I initiated is I just
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thought about it. He was being me like yeah, he's like you got
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a word for her, and I was like what, I didn't call him
25:30
for it, And then all of a sudden, the word just start flowing,
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so that yeah, he was mean. He was being father how and
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so that start flowing. Marianne comes over. She starts flowing and we started
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tag teaming, like we just Liz and Liz is like her and father,
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how is holding your hand as you're taking like, can I say something?
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I wanted to run, but he went he's he's squose he close my hand,
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so tay, he like, you ain't going nowhere, You're gonna get
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this. Then he gonna tap your hand like M yes, yeah, right,
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yeah, it's all right listen. And so we got to the point
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where, um, I do remember saying this to you. I remember saying
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that something regarding your relationship, and I was like, don't be afraid of
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what what God is gonna do is not going to be like the last time.
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And this is my first time even hearing the understanding of that word that
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was given because I that was our first time meet, didn't he that was
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our first time meeting, and you didn't know. I didn't know at all.
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And so I do want us to touch on you know, being this,
26:51
this amazing woman that you are being this, having this apostolic grades Kevin.
26:56
You know, I'm gonna call it multiple strings of income. Being in
27:00
is bossed. You know, Um, I identify as quote a boss.
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Right, let's talk about grieving those relationships. Like I feel like we we
27:11
are positioned. It's like, Okay, God, I'm obedient. I'm obedient.
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I'm obedient, but then this one, I'm gonna college spader space.
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I need I want to be loved on. I want to be kissed at
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night. I want to be touched. I want I want I want that
27:23
relationship. I want that relationship. I want that husband. Let me be
27:29
clear, because fos be like, okay, I can give you no.
27:30
I want to right right, right, right right? Um, how do
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you first of all, how did you grieve? And then how do you
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cope while you're moving forward and progressing and still be obedient to what God is
27:48
doing even though that what you see now is not the desire of your heart
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as far as relationship in that territory. Wow, Wow, that's a good
27:57
question. And I know that this is the this is the heart of the
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Father that he would allow for me to go through such a thing, because
28:07
every podcast or invitation that I've had, as it pertains to just coming on,
28:17
everybody has the same question. Well it's not bad, but I believe
28:22
that there are a lot of hungry people that want to know how to grieve
28:27
well moving forward even when something that you had hoped for did not come the
28:37
past because if we be honest, hope the first makes the heart sick.
28:44
So not only am I grieving the fact that what I thought would happen did
28:49
not happen now. I mean, I'm put in a position to where I
28:53
have to ensure that my heart does not become hardened towards people, towards the
29:00
previous person, towards God, even towards myself. I have to deal with
29:06
the mental anxiety, the depression, the self infliction of feeling like I'm not
29:11
good enough, feeling like something's wrong with me, Feeling like, you know,
29:15
it was my fault when I knew that it wasn't my fault, Feeling
29:19
like I have to rise above the conversations and the comments that other people would
29:26
have with me not in the room, dealing with all types of just all
29:33
types of stuff. So grieving. A lot of times people think that grief
29:41
is equated, and I was so crazy. I was just telling somebody this
29:45
last night that grief is only equated to death as it pertains to a physical
29:52
death, someone passing away. But grief is not just limited to someone passing
29:57
away. It could be as it pertains to separation, separation from a job,
30:02
separation from a ministry, separation from a friendship platonic, you know,
30:07
separation from a just a regular relationship of marriage. Whatever you're separating from,
30:11
you do go through a process of grief because what your mind does is it
30:18
rehearses not only the things that were bad, but also the things that were
30:22
good. So you know, you go through the phases of the denial,
30:27
of the anger and all these different things. And that's kind of what happened
30:32
with me. You know, I first started out. Every woman would like
30:36
to think, Oh, I'm strong, I'm good. You know, I'm
30:38
gonna be fine, I'm gonna be straight deep down inside, you know,
30:42
you're like, Okay, what's really happening. A lot of people don't know
30:48
that while I was grieving the separation of my ex fiance, I was also
30:53
grieving the separation or of a ministry that I was walking away from. I
30:59
was grieving the separate ration from an apartment that I had to leave, the
31:03
city that I was living in. It was a lot of things that I
31:07
was I was literally having to walk away from at the same time. So
31:14
imagine, you know, having to walk away from multiple things, grieving multiple
31:18
things, and trying to figure out what's next, you know, because the
31:22
thing about grief is is like you're you're dealing with Okay, this just was
31:27
ripped away from me, or this just happened and this no longer is.
31:32
And sometimes if you're not careful, you'll automatically think that there's nothing ahead for
31:37
the future, like you know, and based on how you feel about yourself,
31:42
you'll feel like, you know, if the person may have treated you
31:45
right. You know, sometimes you'll feel like, okay, well maybe this
31:49
is all that I can get, or maybe this is good enough, or
31:52
you know, maybe I missed out, and then all of a sudden you
31:56
start doing self infliction on yourself, like oh, like it's my fault,
32:00
and you start bargaining with the enemy too. Maybe I should turn around and
32:08
you know, make it right, and you know, do all of these
32:12
different things. This is for some women, not all, but you know,
32:15
based off of the situation, based off of you know, whatever may
32:17
have happened or occurred. But that was a part of my story, like
32:22
okay, well maybe there was something wrong with me, or maybe I needed
32:25
to do this or that. But then the Lord would begin to send words.
32:30
And this is one thing that I love about the Lord is that he
32:34
doesn't leave us in the dark. And so through through my process of grief,
32:38
I can't say, you know, because a lot of people are like
32:40
you know, it's a it's a one two, three step process and everything's
32:45
gonna be okay. I went through so much mental warfare, emotional warfare,
32:57
spiritual warfare, physical warfare, to weight fluctuation, hair lock. I'm and
33:02
I'm just being real because we don't we don't talk about the process, but
33:09
we like to. We like to post pictures and everybody's like, oh my
33:14
god, they're doing so well, you know, and and not necessarily saying
33:19
that our process was, you know, something that is a punishment. But
33:24
in reality, when you're trying to actually overcome grief, a lot of yourself
33:30
is trying to come to terms with what really happened, you know, and
33:35
that takes time. And so for me it took a lot of time,
33:38
you know, and then having to deal with other situations that had came up
33:44
in or occurred through those twelve to fourteen months of you know, the separation.
33:52
It was devastating. It was hard, um. But what I did
33:55
was is I held onto the Lord. And you know, I know that
34:00
that sounds cliche. I know that that sounds you know, like a lot
34:02
of people like, you know, just continue to pray. No, that
34:07
was the time that the Lord literally drew me in, and he began to
34:15
break away, break off false identity in you know, different work curses that
34:22
were inflicted on me, whether it was from the other person, even from
34:27
myself, like I'm not good enough, I can't do this, I can't
34:30
do that. He began to remind me of his word. He began to
34:32
remind me of his promise. I begin to write out certain things as it
34:37
pertains to what it is that I desire. What was the lesson in all
34:42
of this, you know? And so that's how I begin to get stronger.
34:46
And then after that, the Lord begins to have me pray for my
34:52
x fiance, say his marriage, his wife, his children. And that's
34:59
when I knew, Okay, you're you hit the peak or the climax of
35:06
healing, or you're you're getting to that place of overcoming grief when you can
35:10
actually look at it and it don't hurt no more, or you can look
35:14
at it and you can go back and bless the person or individual and say
35:17
thank you. Because every situation in life I'm learning is not a loss,
35:23
it's a lesson. And if we can change our perspective and look at it
35:28
like that, then you literally will come out on top. You will literally
35:31
come out like, Okay, you know what, this may not have worked
35:36
out, but that doesn't mean that. Number one, it doesn't mean that
35:38
I'm a bad person, and it doesn't mean that they're a bad person.
35:42
They may have shown me some flaws or some red flags, but the reality
35:46
is that thanks beyond to God, because really, if this was not my
35:53
if this was not the will of the Lord, I thank the Lord that
35:58
he didn't allow it to happen so that what needs to happen will happen,
36:02
if that makes sense. So I'm gonna stop right there so you can kind
36:06
of no, no, no, no, no, no that listen,
36:08
I'm learning. I get I get it first. Okay, I appreciate it.
36:15
But what I'm a visual person, and so it's almost like what I
36:19
heard you just say is God, thank you for allowing the pain point to
36:22
be here and not after oh, because if I experienced the pain point after
36:30
I committed or after I went through something without, you know, without adhering
36:37
to the warning, and the pain could have been a little more intense,
36:43
right, the pain of um possible separation and divorce. Now it's not just
36:50
separation. Now I'm having a like denounce this marriage or renounce this marriage.
36:59
And so that's I've never you know, I'm not married yet and I don't
37:04
play. I plan on being marre one time, Lord, one time to
37:08
do us poult. That's my plan. Okay, this is what I'm asking
37:13
for. Only you can that that is what I by request is. Um.
37:22
However, if I keep, if I keep, if I keep,
37:25
my keep making the decision not to trust God in this area of relationship period,
37:35
whether it's with my parents, whether it's with my friendships, whether it's
37:38
with um, somebody that I'm interested in. If I don't, if I
37:44
don't trust God in those areas, then I'll always I feel I really,
37:50
I really in my mind, I really feel like the Lord is just like
37:52
no, it's not it's not gonna happen until you start trusting in this area.
37:55
And that's something that's very heavy for me to admit. Um even think
38:01
about it now, Like I know that's an area that I'm like, God,
38:07
are you? Are you? What you what you gonna do? Because
38:12
I started moving, ye, like I'll started moving and that's not a I
38:16
know that's not okay. I know that's not okay. UM. And so
38:20
I just really appreciate you, like sharing your sharing. I want to speak.
38:24
I want to speak to that too, because I have to be honest
38:28
with you that it is not It has not been easy to trust people.
38:32
Um. I recently reconnected to a ministry where I had told the leaders I
38:37
said, I don't trust y'all. I'm sorry, and I, oh,
38:42
no, you're okay, uh uh, And I told them, you know,
38:50
not only them, I don't trust anybody because my heart has went through
38:53
so much UM disappointment when it comes to people in relationships and the way that
39:00
I love people and you know, the way that I really want things to
39:06
work out. It has made my heart college towards trusting people that they would
39:13
do right by me the way that I would do right by them. One
39:17
thing that I'm learning, though, is that I can't expect myself from people.
39:23
People are going to be people. And over the last two years,
39:29
the Lord has really sobered me to learn who is who, whether they here
39:37
for in my life. I'm still learning that. But I'm also learning is
39:42
this an assignment? Is this someone in passing? Is this somebody that I'm
39:46
supposed to be connected to forever? What is this relationship, and then also
39:52
making sure making sure number one, if you're coming out of a relationship,
39:59
don't move too soon in relationshipship another one because a lot of times what happens
40:04
is when we come out of one relationship and it's bad and everything is going
40:07
you know, crazy, we instead of facing the pain, we avoid it
40:14
by putting ourselves into another relationship when we're not sober enough to really be able
40:21
to see the red flags or the green flags. All we know is I
40:23
don't want to deal with the pain. The Lord allowed for me to sit
40:29
by myself over the last two or three years, no dating, no no
40:36
interactive you know, being with people or being you know, talking to another
40:43
man. I literally told the Lord, I said, listen, I want
40:45
you to heal my heart because one thing that's not gonna happen is I'm gonna
40:52
get in another relationship or I'm gonna get married and I'm still wounded because my
40:57
husband don't deserve that. Because if we loop it around, I don't want
41:00
to be married to a man that is not whole, you know, that
41:06
has not sought the Lord concerning his own proclivities or his own issues, and
41:10
then he comes into the marriage and then he has an expectation for me to
41:15
fulfill a boy or a need the only God can do. So I'm like,
41:20
you know, I want to be able to give him the same thing
41:23
because I still believe, regardless of what society says, regardless of this whole
41:30
we could just pick up, live together and let that be, that we
41:35
can have a few kids and let the no, no, no, I
41:37
still believe in marriage being honorable. And if the Lord wants to use my
41:40
marriage to be the face and the example of this is honor, honorable,
41:46
then I'm gonna let him do that, you know, even if that means
41:51
me having to wait, you know. And so the first, you know,
41:54
real answer is sitting with the Lord, becoming one with him again and
42:00
learning who you are, breaking off those strong coolds, breaking off those word
42:04
curses, being able to go back into situations because there were certain things that
42:07
I did or I said to my ex that I'm like, you probably shouldn't
42:13
have said that, Liz. You said that out of anger. Now don't
42:15
you do that moving forward? Like And I'm telling you, I watch my
42:20
mouth. Even if I'm not dating a male like I have male friends,
42:24
I would never disrespect or just honor them spiritual father, never because I'm very
42:31
conscious and aware now of and not saying I disrespected him like crazy or you
42:37
know. But the reality is is I want to make it a good practice,
42:42
and so I've learned that whatever I practice now, I want to be
42:46
able to take that into my marriage, you know. So that's the first
42:50
thing, being able to sit and be with yourself, being able to face
42:54
those pain points, being able to attack or you know, cast down those
43:01
word curses or those strongholds of you know, what may have been released to
43:07
you or over you when that person or that you know, the situation got
43:10
heated. You know, because whenever we mad, we start saying all types
43:15
of stuff. This is why you ain't gonna never, you know. And
43:16
so those different things we have to be able to confront them, deal with
43:22
them, and then also rehearse the promises of God. If if there's nothing
43:30
else that you get, it's going to be rehearsing the promises of God.
43:37
What did God say over your life? What is his promise for you?
43:42
What is the desires of your heart that He's placed in your heart that you
43:46
may not have seen yet? Begin to speak them and work towards them.
43:52
If I'm going to be a wife, then I need to make sure,
43:54
you know, I keep my own self up, I keep my house clean,
43:58
I keep you know, just different things that I know that my husband
44:00
would want, you know, working towards my health or you know, what
44:06
is it right now that you can get together to prepare and show God Like
44:09
listen, I'm partnering with what you have prophesied or what you have said over
44:15
my life. And I'm not going to wallow. I'm not gonna sit another
44:20
day. I love the song by Ty Triviette. Weeping may endure for a
44:24
night, but only one night you met. You can cry one night,
44:29
but let it be one night. Let it be just that time being.
44:32
Do not do not wallow in the grief or wallow in the pain and frustration.
44:39
It's okay to feel it, but don't let that become your life.
44:45
I have watched people become so infected or bitter by life or by a situation
44:55
not occurring or working out, that they started giving up one what else could
45:00
happen? Or a curve? And what that does is and now I'm going
45:05
into spiritual psychology arrested development. Yeah, so you become arrested in that moment
45:14
to where your life becomes centered around what did or did not happen. You're
45:21
still back in nineteen ninety six when such as such broke up with you and
45:25
you can't get over it yet. But this person has moved on, got
45:29
a family, married, but you're still here single. You know what I'm
45:34
saying. And so we have to be able to shake ourselves loose from what
45:39
it didn't work out? Crazy, be unto God, because one thing I
45:44
know is that if God wanted it to happen, oh, he would have
45:47
made it happen. He would have He would have allowed it to happen.
45:52
He would have he would have turned the tables, he would have flipped some
45:55
cords, he would have did whatever, this, that and the other.
45:58
But because it did not work out, or because it did not fully come
46:02
through, then I understand that God must have something else for me. And
46:07
we have to get to the place of after this, not currently, but
46:12
after this, after this, what is next? Okay, God, this
46:15
didn't I didn't get And it's not even just what relationships. It's with the
46:20
job that you were you applied to but they denied you. It's with the
46:23
car that you wanted, but the dealership said, you know what, it's
46:27
not gonna work out. What next? Are we gonna stop here or are
46:30
we going to continue to pursue until we see what God said? And one
46:37
thing about me, I am not in the business. I did not sign
46:42
up or I did not come to Earth to quit and a lot of people
46:47
do that. And God is like, no, no, no, no,
46:52
no no no. And that's the thing. It's like, as soon
46:54
as we see that it didn't work out, it's just like whoa is me?
46:59
Such as life? This is not And I really believe because we become
47:05
so engrafted with all of these things that we had, we we make plans
47:14
with things that are temporary. Let me let me explain that my fiance,
47:21
you know, it could have worked, but we had before we got married.
47:23
I had plans, honey, plans, plans of marriage, plans of
47:28
where we was gonna move to, plans of what we was gonna do this,
47:30
that and the other wa wah wow, And none of that happened.
47:35
And what happens is when things, you know, begin to dissipate or there's
47:40
chaos and it there's a division. What happens is once all of that.
47:46
Everything is in ruins, everything is shattered or you know, disconnected. You're
47:52
still thinking about these plans, and your mind and your heart is still set
47:55
on the plan, and God is like, there is a new plan.
48:01
There is a different plan, there is a different path. And the reality
48:07
is we're so focused on the old plan that we can't embrace the new plan.
48:14
We're afraid to really step out the boat or just say Okay, God,
48:21
I'm gonna trust you with this new plan. One thing about human nature,
48:24
we don't like change. We're not We don't like when God is like,
48:29
okay, make a hard left. We like, let me just keep
48:32
going straight. You know what I'm saying. We like to know before it
48:37
happens. And that cancels out faith because faith is not you being able to
48:46
see it physically before it happens. It's you being able to see it even
48:51
when it has not happened yet. So for us, like I am learning,
48:57
Oh, faith is a whole. That's a girl, that's a whole
48:59
different topic. I'm a just pause so you can breathe and come come into
49:05
because you see, you see you got my knick like you got my knick,
49:08
like m y'all. If y'all could see my knick, my knicks,
49:15
if I could just like you you, um you, I'm being told on
49:22
you. You know what I'm saying. Like like you said, it's not
49:25
just grief a relationship or whatever. Um, it's grief of you know,
49:31
different job opportunities that didn't didn't happen. Um, it's grief of like the
49:37
plan like you, like you you said it so thank your spirit. I
49:45
had to tell you that what just happened. Now I can't say that all
49:47
podcasts. Uh. It's grief of what we saw versus what God spoke.
50:00
Yeah, grieving what you saw versus what God spoke. And that for us
50:07
is like a real harsh reality because we will put God's name on anything it
50:14
look good but good. Do you really put God's name on anything that looks
50:19
good or feels good? Or why would At least I'm going to tell on
50:23
myself God, why would you allow me to meet this person if I wasn't
50:29
supposed to do X, Y and Z. Why would you allow me to
50:31
interview for this position? If I want supposed to do X, Y and
50:35
Z? Why would you? Like I really be like, if I'm gonna
50:38
call a spade a space like I didn't really blame God, or why did
50:40
you even allow them on my pathway? Like because or want to just say
50:46
them, but it, whatever it is, why did you allow me to
50:50
see it? Why did you allow me to dress it? Why did you
50:52
allow me to do all or do all this stuff? And God was like,
50:55
well, if we was in relationship, we would have brought them them
50:59
it whatever it is back to me in the first place. Yeah, because
51:02
if we got relationship like that, why would God withhold that answer? And
51:08
now my heart can be guarded. But now I'm like, okay, God,
51:12
Holy Spirit, you wouldn't even put this in my way. No,
51:14
that's the whole point of testing, that's the whole point of being able to
51:16
prove where you are. And I think, oh, this is so good,
51:21
Holy Spirit, Thank you, Holy Spirit. I think where the a
51:23
lot of frustration comes in it, especially as believers, right as as strong
51:30
will believers. We say we hear God, and we are so confident that
51:36
we hear God, but then we realized that we didn't and we were out
51:39
of order. Now we're really frustrated and embarrassed with our sales because whatever it
51:45
is did not work out absolutely, because I know there's a point I can
51:51
think about. I can think of times like in past relationship, I've never
51:53
been engaged right, and I think I had it. I had an attitude
51:58
about that too, and I'm like, oh, he should have prot I
52:00
was like my dad. If I would have been, I probably be the
52:04
one that like, Okay, I'm just gonna stick this's my man. It's
52:06
my man. I would have stick it through. So Lord, don't let
52:08
nobody posting me anymore. But it's not I don't even want to. I've
52:15
seen You're probably the second person. I haven't talked to another person, but
52:17
I know of another person that went through that. And I'm even like to
52:22
the point where I'm like, as far as romantic relationship, ain't no we
52:27
on social media, ain't no this. Ain't know that. I got bounded
52:30
like to try to take my self now. The Lord might tell me something
52:32
different, but he's got to be very clear on it, because I'm like,
52:36
no, ain't no social media, ain't know. Until we're walking down
52:38
the A, I really don't. I really don't want to post on it
52:43
because y'all playing, y'all, y'all hill. That's one thing I did say,
52:47
I said whenever, um, people will not know. They won't they
52:52
don't know, they won't know if when I'm dating that you'll know who the
52:59
person or the man that god is. As soon as we get married,
53:02
as soon as as we say I do, then we're gonna post pictures the
53:08
miracle works of the Lord like ye no, no, the Lord himself.
53:14
And I don't. I don't know if that comes from a bit of place.
53:15
That's something I gotta take take heed on. But I don't know if
53:20
I gotta. I did get embarrassed right, and embarrass me with is a
53:22
strong pain point to where it's like if you you might be, you might
53:28
have forgiven what happened or even the person or whatever attachments in it, but
53:32
you never you it's hard for you to forget how you felt in that,
53:38
in that in that posture, in that moment. And so I think it's
53:42
also opportunity to say, Okay, God, I shouldn't even feel embarrassed about
53:45
this. Yeah I shouldn't. I shouldn't even feel embarrassed about me. Help
53:50
help me, help me get over that that shame, because that's what embarrass
53:54
me. It's as the shame and if we really when you deal with shame
54:00
and you already deal with rejection, it's something I you know, I'll be
54:01
honest to say that that rejection shame. Yeah one like probably top two categories.
54:09
And I have to if I'm embarrassed by something or I'm making a strict
54:14
rule, you or you would never give me again. And that's work.
54:16
Person. They'll go back to the word because it's like, oh, you're
54:20
you are novel, novel and you can't even we can't be out here doing
54:25
it, you know what I'm saying. So I love how you are able
54:30
to be honest not just with us, but with yourself and just say,
54:35
hey this, you know, I thought this, and I made my plans
54:39
about what should be happening, what should go on, and it didn't happen,
54:45
And so how do I think I want to talk a little bit deeper
54:49
on that. On that note, like what process did you go through to
54:54
not only dismantling your plan but accepting God's. So that's that's a really good
55:02
question. Um, what you were saying previously before kind of was gonna open
55:08
I was gonna open up with another statement, but I think it'll kind of
55:12
answer what you just ask um. So in that process of separation and all
55:19
of that, when I came to the realization of what was happening, it
55:22
made me come to a place of sobriety as it pertains to carry the Lord
55:31
because goes back to what I was saying earlier. You're so busy. You
55:36
know that you're not spending the amp the time that you need to really sit
55:42
and hear God. Now, God was giving me different He was giving me
55:49
different um things like okay, like you know, slow down, don't do
55:55
this, don't do that, or you know, he was giving me hints,
56:00
but I wasn't getting it because I was so engrafted and so involved in
56:05
the relationship. Now I'm engaged, oh now, And the reality is is
56:09
that it is hard for God to be God when something else has become an
56:13
idol. So it was there, Oh I'm I'm engaged. Now finally I'm
56:20
about to be a wife and my husband and blah blah blah blah, and
56:24
that became my idol. I literally when the embarrassment and the shame, but
56:35
even more so when the pain point hit my life and everything that involved that
56:42
hit my life. That was the introduction or the commencement of me becoming more
56:46
sober as it pertains to the Lord ordering my footsteps, because it's like,
56:53
surely, God, I couldn't have made the wrong decision. Like I thought
56:58
that this is what you said, that we were just going to go through
57:00
a process and you know we'll get back together after that. But the reality
57:06
is people don't know this. The Lord didn't tell me that we were going
57:07
to get back together. He just said I want to take you through a
57:10
process. I added to what he said. Wow, this is the thing.
57:20
God can clearly tell us something and we can receive it, and then
57:23
if it's not fully what we want to hear, sometimes we'll add to it.
57:28
And I knew that God wanted to take us through a process, but
57:36
I did not know for sure if we were actually going to be together or
57:38
remained together. And when the signs were signing and the signs were showing,
57:45
I knew God was like no. And then that was when I was like
57:50
devas that I felt the weight of the pain because I was like, this
57:55
is really happening. And so what that did for me was it pushed me
58:00
into a place of communication and going back to the Lord and rehearsing certain things
58:07
well, God, where did I miss it? And from that point it
58:12
has taught me how to be more careful and the decisions that I make even
58:17
now, Like, woke up this morning and I was the Lord was like,
58:22
you know, you got to get back on track because you missed it
58:24
here, and he was just showing me different areas. You missed it in
58:29
November and then in January you did this, and you shouldn't have did this
58:31
because I told you to do that. And so one thing about God is
58:37
is that he will tell us. He will tell us, you know,
58:40
he'll order our footsteps, but it's up to us to not only listen,
58:45
but to obey the what he is saying. And I mean to a t
58:51
we can't alter and be like, Okay, well Lord, I'm gonna do
58:53
this, but I'm gonna go around the corner real quick then I'm gonna come
58:55
back. No, because there is a a set place that God wants to
59:00
get us to, and the reality is oftentimes we're the ones that are delaying
59:07
the promise. If you're asking God for a husband, but you want to
59:10
go here first, or I want to see what this is gonna be like,
59:15
But God has something for you, right here, then why are we
59:19
entertaining this? And if we all be really honest, I think that a
59:23
lot of us deal and struggle with our trust in God because I've been let
59:30
down before. Lord, I've been let down as it pertains to the area
59:32
of relationship. I thought that was gonna work, but it didn't. And
59:37
I thought that this is what you said, but it clearly I guess it
59:43
wasn't because it did not work. So a lot of us right now,
59:46
this is a part of my process, are in a place or a position
59:50
where we have to be honest with God even though he knows our heart,
59:53
but being able to communicate just like you with a friend. I don't like
59:58
that. I don't like the the fact that I thought that this was what
1:00:00
it was supposed to be and it wasn't. Like I'm mad at you,
1:00:06
I am. I don't like you right now at being honest, being open,
1:00:12
because a part of that it ushers and aids healing for your heart to
1:00:16
say, Lord, I don't I lost my trust. Where was you at
1:00:21
when when when all of this happened? Like I don't even know how to
1:00:23
get my trust that girl. There were times I can't tell you how many
1:00:28
times that I grieved and all I could do was cry because I felt that
1:00:34
ache, the pain in the depth of my soul that my hand naturally could
1:00:40
not reach that type of pain. The only other time I felt that was
1:00:45
one of my mom passed. But I still am processing that, but that
1:00:51
when you can't reach the pain, the only thing I know to do is
1:00:55
literally reach out to God and be like, listen, I am frustrated,
1:00:59
I am mad, I am angry. I thought that it was gonna go
1:01:02
this way and it did not. What happened. Why, you know,
1:01:07
in allowing God to minister to your heart through the tears that you cry,
1:01:13
you know, because we we be wanting to be strong and and be you
1:01:19
know, I'm good, like I'm gonna get through this. Some some things
1:01:22
you're going to have to cry out and communicate out to the Lord and then
1:01:27
allow for him to bit by bit restore you and pour back into you and
1:01:34
answer those questions. And sometimes those questions may not or those answers may not
1:01:38
come immediately, but you gotta be okay with that because the Lord knows where
1:01:44
you are and if you're ready to or receive some of the answers that you
1:01:47
are asking him about there are questions that the Lord is answering to this day
1:01:53
about that relationship that happened almost four or three years ago. But it's because
1:01:59
I'm ready now. I think I answered. I hope I answered part of
1:02:01
your question. Okay, all right, Yeah, I feel like I'm learning.
1:02:12
If I'm this is good, If this is I'm shameless plug. If
1:02:16
this is anything like your your focal recourse listening, I think I think you
1:02:23
you might be It ain't might be you owning something and um being relatable.
1:02:30
It's a guilt. It's it's a grace to be relatable because you're basically saying,
1:02:36
man, although you see me as this this strong vessel um that I've
1:02:44
had to shield. I had the term you were talking in the whole spirit
1:02:47
told me something. He was like, UM, give me a visual again.
1:02:51
You were like, we're supposed to make a hard left right, and
1:02:55
we think when we think about directions. Now we have the access to access
1:03:00
to access in our hands. So we got on our phone, we can
1:03:06
put in the putting the address and we can get there right. But what
1:03:08
happens when we make a wrong turn. It reroutes us rights and so it
1:03:15
never deters. We might go a different way than originally planning, but always
1:03:21
it always reroutes us to where to the destination that we have. And what
1:03:25
I saw GPS, I heard the Lord say, God's plans solidified. Unless
1:03:31
you change the address, you will always get to that destination no matter how
1:03:37
many times you reroute. Absolutely, and that's something if I'm transparent, I'm
1:03:43
like, God, you just change the address on week, like I didn't
1:03:47
get it right this time, or I'm I'm frustrated with myself, or I
1:03:52
haven't talked to you because I'm you know, I'm in my feelings, or
1:03:54
I don't think you want to talk to me. You know, I don't.
1:03:58
I don't read planning like Lord, it ain't it ain't me to you,
1:04:00
it's I don't even think you want to talk to me, Like I'm
1:04:03
not gonna waste your time my mind, you know, he does. And
1:04:08
I was gonna say that, you know, I finally got to that place,
1:04:12
Jessica, because it was in the beginning. I'm upset, and like
1:04:16
I said, these are the types of emotions that we have to communicate to
1:04:19
the Lord. Even though he knows our heart, he still wants to hear
1:04:23
from us right. But I finally came to the end of myself where humility
1:04:29
took over and I had to humble myself before the Lord because my pride,
1:04:32
out of pride, I was like I thought it was gonna happen like this,
1:04:38
blah blah blah blah blah. But the Lord is like, first and
1:04:41
foremost, just like he did. Joe, where was you when I created
1:04:45
the heavens in the earth? First of all? You know what I'm saying,
1:04:48
like, pipe it down, bring it down. You're starting to feel
1:04:54
yourself. Um. But I came to the end of myself and then I
1:04:59
really realize I'm like, God, I didn't get it right, But what
1:05:02
it did was it pulled me closer to him to want to get it right.
1:05:10
So now I'm more, Lord, what is it that you desire to
1:05:13
do? What is it? What is your will? Like, I don't
1:05:16
want to move from this place until I know for sure. I literally and
1:05:21
praying that prayer right now. I don't want to move from this place until
1:05:25
I know for sure that it is you. There are people that are gonna
1:05:28
come and they're gonna say, oh, the Lord said you as my wife,
1:05:31
or oh, you know you need to move to such a such city,
1:05:34
or oh, you need to go ahead and apply for this job.
1:05:38
Lord. Let me okay, let me go back to the Lord though,
1:05:41
because he has the final say and I don't want to do anything without him.
1:05:45
And this is what we call communication. This is what we call relationship,
1:05:51
This is what we call prayer, This is what we call Matthew six
1:05:55
and thirty three. Seeky first, the Kingdom of Heaven and his righteousness,
1:05:59
everything else, we'll be at it. This is what we do instead of
1:06:03
taking our own initiative and saying, you know what, I'm just gonna do
1:06:09
me or you know I'm gonna take the GPS, but you know I'm gonna
1:06:12
just but I have another plan. No, no, no, he is
1:06:15
the only plan, and we're gonna seek him first. We're gonna we're gonna
1:06:19
apply what he says and we're gonna follow it out. We're gonna we're going
1:06:25
to see the end result. That's it. And I think sometimes we just
1:06:30
make it more harder than what it is. Yeah, oh, ranging hand,
1:06:35
if you made it hard girl, two hands, two hand. You
1:06:42
need to dance too, you need to do right. I've definitely um made
1:06:48
it harder on myself A lot of times name was sometimes it's a lot of
1:06:54
times because I'm such a know it all, I'm so driven. I'm used
1:06:58
to being a fixer. I'm used to be you know, so how to
1:07:00
fix a get broke? Oh, I supposed to be able to fix myself.
1:07:04
I'm supposed to be able to move forward. And because I'm able to
1:07:11
help everybody else, I'm able to help you know. I'm able to be
1:07:15
this and that for everybody else, but I can't be for myself. And
1:07:16
I really feel like, if I'm transparent, I'm in a season where God
1:07:20
is like, do do for you what you've done for everybody else, do
1:07:24
for you as and not even a place where it's like, um, what
1:07:30
am I trying to say? Not even a place of like I'm being selfish,
1:07:32
but just like I want to know. I want you to experience the
1:07:36
power of you. Is the power of you, and know what you're giving
1:07:44
out and when this is so good. If I understand the power of myself
1:07:48
and what I'm able to do for others, then I manage that power.
1:07:54
I properly manage that power. I probably have managed the oil, but because
1:07:58
I'm dispersing it and get giving it out and doing all these other things with
1:08:02
it. God is having to say, hold up, I need you to
1:08:04
understand your drip. I need you to understand what you bring to the table.
1:08:10
Because you don't understand it, you're servant everybody, and everybody can't manage
1:08:14
what you do. Everybody. You'll see people take a bite, and it's
1:08:18
saying, let me push that. You'll see that before somebody digests the whole
1:08:21
plate. And because because you you're you're you're unhealed in certain areas, you'll
1:08:28
see that rejection before you feel see the fulfillment. And so now God is
1:08:31
just like, okay, know what you got. I need you to know
1:08:33
what you have. And I think there's certain that's another reason why we make
1:08:38
it hard on ourselves because we don't know what we hold. I'm saying,
1:08:42
I don't know what a hold. So the Lord is like, digest yourself.
1:08:46
Yeah, good, that's so good. Good, And Liz, you've
1:08:56
been this has been good. Talk love this, this this here is sobering
1:09:02
like I haven't. I haven't, I haven't screamed like I almost screamed.
1:09:05
I just feel like when somebody can shut me up. I think it's it's
1:09:12
real good conversation, real sobering conversation. And I think really what we need
1:09:16
to understand is entrepreneurs and creatives or whatever special where we started with um.
1:09:21
The reason why it's so important to you know, do relationship with God is
1:09:27
so we have less relationships to grieve. Absolutely, we have less relationships to
1:09:32
grieve. We have less opportunities to grieve because once, once we're solidified,
1:09:40
and that is the ultimate relationship. Everybody got to go through God, everybody,
1:09:44
they don't even you don't even know, Like everybody got to go through
1:09:47
God. Everybody got to go through the accountability partners everybody, and there's no
1:09:50
there's or everything has to go and you have this trusted this trusted relationship,
1:09:57
which which is which is sobering. So I always reverted back to how does
1:10:00
this, how does this? What does this look like in my daily routine?
1:10:05
Like you said, how do I how do? How can I make
1:10:09
this plan? And then it's like the Word of God SAIDs pray without season
1:10:12
like you said, it's a conversation. And so I might get up and
1:10:15
I'm not like I'm not I might not be like that that morning. I
1:10:19
might just be like, hey, good morning, Lord, what's up?
1:10:20
Like? How what what are we doing? Today? Like I talk to
1:10:24
Lord like that y'all might talk to a little I'll talk to Lord, Hey,
1:10:26
Loo, what's up? I thank you? I appreciate you, you
1:10:29
know, thank you for waking me up this morning. Um, what we're
1:10:31
gonna do today? Right? That might be that baby with the morning and
1:10:35
then throughout the day, I'm like, oh Lord, what we're gonna do
1:10:38
about this? What we're gonna do about this this conversion or this this stolen
1:10:44
vehicle that I'm dealing with, or what am I gonna do about my you
1:10:46
know, my co workers? Like because if Justica do it, obviously she
1:10:50
miss up right low her decision, Like the decision is not decision in today,
1:10:58
Okay, So I'm gonna need you to be decision the decision maker.
1:11:01
So I think it's it's good for us as leaders, good for us as
1:11:04
creatives to really lean on what you said, Like, yeah, lean on
1:11:10
what you said so we can have fewer moments of pain points, fewer fewer
1:11:14
pain points that are unnecessary pain points. That's why I would like to say
1:11:18
unnecessary pain points. So if you could leave us with one thought, leads
1:11:21
one thought. Maybe it's your thought of your life. One quote one when
1:11:28
signature thing that we could just like. Oh, Liz said that, it
1:11:30
just stuck with me. What would it be? Oh, that's now.
1:11:35
But now I'm at loss for words because honestly, that is a good question.
1:11:41
I need to I need to meditate on that. UM. I think
1:11:46
it really just goes back to just the communication piece of being able to communicate
1:11:51
with the Lord. And this is what I will say is that communication is
1:11:59
two ways. So communication not only intails us speaking to him, but it
1:12:03
also intails us listening. And there are a lot of times we are so
1:12:10
quick to talk, but we're not quick enough to listen, and sometimes we
1:12:15
miss what he's saying because we're talking. And so if I could leave one
1:12:20
thing with everybody, it would be take time to sit and listen and be
1:12:27
intentional about listening just as much as you talk. That's so good, so
1:12:34
good, so good, Liz. Tell the people how they can connete with
1:12:39
you. Tell them how they can Well, you can connect with me on
1:12:44
Facebook, so you can find me at Elizabeth Pickens. I'm also on um
1:12:51
Instagram as Elizabeth uprenewer um. And then also our seeks Sessions page on Facebook
1:13:00
as well, so it's seek sessions. So yeah, seek sessions. I'm
1:13:06
gonna have to I don't think I followed that yet, but I'm gonna have
1:13:09
to go back and follow it because this listen, I'm I might even be
1:13:14
have a stink session, you know what I'm saying, Liz, I appreciate
1:13:19
you so much, and I do look forward. I know this is not
1:13:21
gonna be the last time. People, You're just so this conversation was so
1:13:28
as you used the word sobering. Um, I just I just thank you
1:13:32
so much for giving us this time, giving us short your intelligence, giving
1:13:38
us your experience, you know, um, and being open and willing to
1:13:42
be open and transparence with with the just Ass crew, and so um,
1:13:45
I appreciate you. Y'all, y'all make sure you guys follow Liz. Um,
1:13:50
y'all go, y'all gonna tell her how much y'all y'all appreciate her,
1:13:54
because listening, I'm about to be y'all in the DMS like gird you just
1:13:58
all go. You just don't know, but yes, listen, y'all know
1:14:01
how we do it. Every week? You know, we got ten episodes
1:14:05
y'all, so ten, but what we don't know what number to do.
1:14:09
But we got ten episodes. Okay, so you haven't caught up, get
1:14:12
catched up on the first season. We're in the second season. It is
1:14:15
what it is, right, it is what it is. With your communication
1:14:18
with gods, a go ahead, communicate, but until next week, life
1:14:24
could be much more simple if you just ask. Y'all. Have a great
1:14:28
one. Okay, thank you so much, Liz. Hey, y'all,
1:14:38
thank you for listening to just Ask. If you enjoyed this experience, be
1:14:42
sure to like coming and rate so others can find the show. If you'd
1:14:46
like to stay connected with me, feel free to follow me at Deep Jessica
1:14:49
and Smith on all platforms. Again, I'm your girl, jess Until next time.