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Bonus IMPROV - I Wouldn't Wish That On A Bag · Very Fine Friends

• 0:00
  jenna yes look at your clock what time is it i think it's time for maybe some bonus improv
• 0:21
  but what kind from whom but the kind very fine friends do when they get a suggestion from pj
• 0:28
  DJ, where are you?
• 0:31
  BJ here, got a suggestion for you.
• 0:33
  Oh.
• 0:35
  Sunblock.
• 0:37
  Interesting.
• 0:40
  I told you about the time I got so burned on my head from when I was in Hawaii.
• 0:45
  I think I mentioned it on the pod.
• 0:47
  It was back when hairstyles were spiky.
• 0:50
  Oh, yeah.
• 0:50
  And I didn't know that the sun was more intense.
• 0:55
  And I like gelled my hair and went out for the day.
• 0:57
  and my scalp got so burned that I was like crying.
• 1:02
  Like I couldn't sleep.
• 1:03
  My head hurt so bad.
• 1:05
  That's funny.
• 1:06
  My scalp is a little bit burned right now.
• 1:08
  I played golf yesterday and in the morning,
• 1:11
  which I don't normally do,
• 1:12
  and the sun must be more intense in the morning or something.
• 1:15
  Cause I did get burned and I don't normally get burned,
• 1:18
  but it's on my part on my hair.
• 1:21
  So it's like, I was brushing my hair earlier.
• 1:23
  I was like, there's that like one strip right here
• 1:25
  where it's like, it hurts to brush it.
• 1:27
  That's funny.
• 1:28
  If someone like V for Vendetta to you, they would just see one.
• 1:31
  One like little pink strip.
• 1:33
  I know.
• 1:33
  It would be really funny.
• 1:36
  There was one time.
• 1:37
  I'm sure I told you about this.
• 1:39
  So don't V for Vendetta me, please.
• 1:46
  We'll just lock you in a cell.
• 1:47
  We won't shave your head.
• 1:50
  That's the part of it you'll do.
• 1:52
  Even though the whole point of this was to see that one strip of pink.
• 1:56
  Yeah.
• 1:57
  Yeah.
• 1:57
  i just want to reenact something from v for vendetta i don't give a shit which part i'm not
• 2:05
  picky okay maybe the beginning when they're all like in an office building we can reenact that
• 2:12
  there was one time in high school i'm pretty sure i told you this story before but i worked for
• 2:19
  uh american valet it's a generic like parking valet company but i was just like a i would just
• 2:27
  like direct traffic cool she doing the hand lessons now yeah you just wear like you wear like a neon vest and you stand in a big parking lots when there are events and you tell people like which row to go down Right It not a big deal An easy job for a 17 year old
• 2:42
  Um, but there was one day I was out at like an airfield and just like, yeah, doing that
• 2:48
  like for hours, just standing in the parking lot.
• 2:50
  And there were people that were like leaving the air show and they were like, do you need
• 2:55
  sunscreen?
• 2:56
  I was like, no, I'm good.
• 2:57
  Thanks.
• 2:58
  And they're like, okay.
• 2:58
  And then later I got home and I was so burned. I was purple, like not a joke, not like I went
• 3:07
  beyond red. I was purple. It was so bad. I think I did so much damage, like many layers of my skin
• 3:14
  that one day. And then that night I was going to a concert, uh, to see two of my favorite bands.
• 3:20
  They were playing together, smile and no knife smile. I think opened for no knife at the modified
• 3:27
  and I was at the merch table for after smiles set and the lead singer was like he he's sitting
• 3:39
  there and I'm 17 and of course in love with everybody you're a man you're great I'm in love
• 3:44
  with you great uh and he's sitting and I know I know how bad I like I just I'm not doing it I
• 3:50
  can't do anything about it I just know how ridiculous this looks and he's like
• 3:53
  you got a little sunburned there i was like yes i did it's like okay i just kind of like
• 4:02
  i'm sure he signed something and then i moved on but it was like
• 4:06
  it was like it was so bad he had to comment on it oh no it was just because otherwise if you we
• 4:14
  wouldn't comment on someone's weird appearance thing but it was just like yes i did thank you
• 4:18
  very much it'd be weird if i don't say anything or just like it was so comical to him that he's
• 4:23
  like, I'm going to say something. I don't, but it was like a sign of respect probably though,
• 4:30
  where it's like you were so badly sunburned, but you're like, I'm still coming to the show.
• 4:34
  Yeah. I'm not too embarrassed that I'm going to miss this show. It was a great show.
• 4:41
  Nice. Worth it. Very punk rock of you. Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate that.
• 4:47
  And now improv.
• 4:53
  oof bad haircut what oh i i figured you were ready to joke wait who you wait me you talking to me now i know you joking yes mop you What No I mean what did you tell them to make them do that I went to this hip new trendy salon and I said give me whatever you think
• 5:20
  I thought it looked good.
• 5:21
  Oof, maybe they have different special lying mirrors.
• 5:24
  What doesn't look good?
• 5:26
  No, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.
• 5:28
  I just thought it was so bad.
• 5:31
  That you assumed that I must have been in on it?
• 5:33
  Yeah, but hey, it'll grow back.
• 5:35
  Don't worry about it.
• 5:37
  No, don't cry.
• 5:39
  I thought it looked good.
• 5:40
  No, Alice.
• 5:41
  I thought it looked good.
• 5:42
  Shh.
• 5:43
  Shh.
• 5:43
  I didn't look good.
• 5:44
  You can't get away with these tears with that haircut.
• 5:46
  Robert, I thought, but you told me mop.
• 5:50
  So I guess I can get away with tears.
• 5:52
  You need thick skin and I would start laughing.
• 5:55
  It's going to be a rough six weeks.
• 5:58
  Six weeks?
• 5:58
  No, I told them I wanted to.
• 6:01
  I was so proud of my hairstyle.
• 6:03
  They gave me the serum to put on, they put the serum on my hair that stunts growth.
• 6:09
  It stunts hair growth.
• 6:10
  How long?
• 6:11
  Because I was like, I don't want this hairstyle to end.
• 6:14
  Alice, how long?
• 6:17
  It's forever.
• 6:19
  It's forever hair stunting.
• 6:22
  Wow.
• 6:22
  You know what isn't forever?
• 6:24
  What?
• 6:25
  Robert and Alice.
• 6:26
  No.
• 6:27
  No, Robert.
• 6:28
  Robert.
• 6:28
  I'll make it easy for you.
• 6:30
  I'll take the kids.
• 6:31
  I think keeping them with you would scar them for life.
• 6:34
  No, no, you can't take the kids.
• 6:37
  No, just because of my hair.
• 6:38
  I'll do something.
• 6:39
  I'll get a different haircut.
• 6:40
  I'll get a different.
• 6:40
  You can't.
• 6:41
  The serum, Alice.
• 6:42
  No, but there's got to be something shorter than this that you'll.
• 6:45
  Shorter?
• 6:46
  Yeah.
• 6:47
  Oh, no.
• 6:49
  I know.
• 6:50
  I don't think I'll ever have sex again.
• 6:55
  With you or anyone.
• 6:56
  Please, I'll wear a bag with anyone.
• 7:00
  I wouldn't wish that.
• 7:00
  on a bag.
• 7:03
  It's that bad?
• 7:04
  Alice.
• 7:06
  Yes.
• 7:08
  Really?
• 7:10
  What about an Albertsons bag?
• 7:11
  You hate Albertsons.
• 7:12
  I thought I did.
• 7:14
  Now I just want to protect them.
• 7:17
  No.
• 7:17
  You know what?
• 7:18
  You go across the country.
• 7:21
  We'll do a...
• 7:22
  We'll do letters.
• 7:23
  No.
• 7:23
  No.
• 7:24
  You know what?
• 7:26
  I'm going to get a wig.
• 7:28
  How about that?
• 7:29
  You're going to get a wig.
• 7:30
  I'll get a wig.
• 7:31
  Okay.
• 7:32
  We could try it.
• 7:33
  Okay.
• 7:34
  All right.
• 7:35
  You know what?
• 7:36
  I'm going to go run out and get a wig.
• 7:38
  Uh-huh.
• 7:39
  You.
• 7:40
  Change the locks No don joke like that Okay What were you going to say Robert All right Don mind if I look over here while we talk That fine That fine I going to go get a wig right now and it going to be so good This is how confident I am You climb into bed
• 7:57
  get into bed in the dark. I'm going to come in in my wig and you're going to want, you're going
• 8:04
  to have renewed faith in sex again. I promise you're going to want to do it. I swear. How do
• 8:09
  I don't know if you get a wig.
• 8:11
  I'm going to.
• 8:12
  I promise you'll feel it.
• 8:13
  I don't know.
• 8:13
  This is a kind of ugly that I think you glow in the dark.
• 8:16
  No, the wig will.
• 8:17
  I promise the wig will cover it.
• 8:19
  All right.
• 8:21
  Cut to three hours later.
• 8:25
  Robert.
• 8:28
  Don't turn the hallway light on.
• 8:29
  I have coming in now.
• 8:32
  Are you in your wig?
• 8:33
  I'm in my wig.
• 8:35
  can you hear the wig in my voice i don't know i'm i'm tentative about this reach out and feel my
• 8:48
  head i'm scared i don't know if i could do this yes you can okay just remember it remember that
• 8:54
  first night we were together i do i remember it it's june 12th 1991 it was a beautiful night
• 9:00
  Yeah, and a great morning too.
• 9:02
  Yeah.
• 9:04
  Feel it?
• 9:05
  Okay, I'm reaching out.
• 9:06
  Okay.
• 9:08
  Oh.
• 9:09
  Yeah?
• 9:09
  What is this?
• 9:11
  Oh my goodness.
• 9:14
  Do you love it?
• 9:16
  It's my wig.
• 9:17
  Alice, this is incredible.
• 9:20
  Alice, I had such doubt.
• 9:22
  You love my wig?
• 9:23
  I love your wig.
• 9:24
  Let me say it again.
• 9:25
  I love your wig.
• 9:27
  Hey, Siri, remind me to tell everyone how much I love this wig.
• 9:30
  I know. I knew you'd love my wig.
• 9:33
  Oh, my God. I'm using both hands now.
• 9:35
  Get on.
• 9:37
  I am ready for this.
• 9:38
  And I want it.
• 9:41
  Oh, my God. The dark is just heightening it.
• 9:42
  This wig is so great.
• 9:43
  I told you. It'd be amazing.
• 9:45
  Oh, my God.
• 9:47
  I'm whipping it all over you.
• 9:48
  Oh, my God. Yes. Yes. Yes.
• 9:51
  My rod.
• 9:53
  Your rod.
• 9:57
  Suddenly,
• 9:58
  the power circuit trips.
• 10:00
  and the lights come on.
• 10:02
  What the fuck?
• 10:11
  See?