Latest / The Family Teams Podcast / Ep. 350 | Why Fathers Should Journal

Transcript

Ep. 350 | Why Fathers Should Journal · The Family Teams Podcast

• 0:04
  What's up, guys? Welcome back to 5-Minute Fatherhood. I want to talk about how do you get out of your own mental loops. A lot of times as fathers, mothers struggle with this. We all struggle with this. We get stuck in these loops in our head, and we're like, I keep thinking about this same thing. I keep reliving this moment, or I keep...
• 0:23
  worrying about this thing. And so I think that it's really important to have a practical way to deal with that, because oftentimes if you just start ignoring those, particularly when they regard your family, like this happens a lot with family, where you're thinking about one of your kids, you're thinking about your relationship with your spouse, or in multigenerational families with your parents or grandparents or...
• 0:44
  children or grandchildren. And it's really important to really give yourself some time to work through that. And for me, the most important thing to do when you're stuck in a mental loop is you have to write, you have to journal, you have to assign yourself a block of time, even 30 minutes, and just sit there. And you might think to yourself, well, I've already thought about this a ton. I don't need it. I've been thinking about this nonstop for a week. I don't need to write about it.
• 1:09
  That is a, you know, that kind of thinking that stops people from writing, I think, is really part of the problem. Because usually when you're just thinking about an issue, you're just sort of skimming the surface, and writing plunges you into the depths. And that's where you need to go. That's why this loop exists. It's trying to get you to think about it more deeply, not more frequently.
• 1:28
  And so in order to stop the loops, you got to spend some time writing. And so a lot of times what I'll do with my friends or people that I'm discipling or people in my family is if when they're stuck in mental loops, I'm just like, OK, I'm going to give you an assignment. I need you to write unedited stream of consciousness without judging anything you're writing. Just write down whatever's coming to mind and go, you know, keep going for about 20 or 30 minutes and.
• 1:52
  And then we'll schedule a time and you can just read it out loud to me. And, uh, and I'm not going to judge you. I'm just going to listen. And then we're going to have a conversation, just give you some feedback, make sure that you're going deeper and deeper and deeper into what you're wrestling through to get this loop, you know, sort of resolved. Cause a loop is there for a reason. It's not there just to torment you. Oftentimes it's there because there's some, something you need to learn. Now there are times where, where loops aren't helpful because they have been dealt with and they're coming back.
• 2:19
  you know, for other reasons. But still, even in those cases, writing is the best antidote than trying to tell yourself to stop thinking about it. But yeah, Jeff, have you dealt with these?
• 2:28
  Yeah, I think it's super important. And one thing, you know, too, is not just write, but then write and share. You know what I mean? Like there's something about our bodies, our brains, that when we let it get outside of us, even what, you know, I'm a big believer, and I loved when even David said it the other day, with read scripture out loud. Like these things of like, just use the, like, I don't want to sound weirdly non-Christian spiritual, but there is something I think actually true about the scriptural vision of spirituality.
• 2:55
  with it, like let it come out of your body. Like there's something about letting certain emotions, writing feelings, uh, you know, saying something out loud. I, I can't necessarily trace exactly one to one where, why, what, when, how, but, but it, it does do something. And so I would just say, yeah, that's a huge part of it is like, you know, treat, treat your body almost as something that in your brain and your emotions is something that like, you know, you need to let the, you need to let the lid off and actually like let stuff out, you know, whether by voice, whether by writing, um, processing, there's, you just, you can't,
• 3:24
  Because the loop is the best word. You get stuck in these loops and these scripts. And when it comes, when it gets out, it's funny how sometimes how even the act of writing itself can solve it. Not always, but it's crazy how like you'll get done with like journaling something difficult and you're like, oh, and you just move on. Like it's done. You know what I mean? Like, so it's just crazy how it does kind of, it's like putting a little, you know, thumbtack into a balloon or something, just kind of dissipates it. But yeah, so I think hugely, hugely important.
• 3:48
  That's right. Your mind's going to keep reminding you of things where there's unlearned lessons or good treasures. And so getting down into those depths. And then I love what you're saying, Jeff. Read it out loud. Share it with somebody. Make sure that you're surfacing these things in and through your voice, through your body. That matters. And we tend to be people locked in our heads, and that's what is happening with these loops. So yeah, get them out and find that gold.