Latest / The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast / Rebuilding in Community | with Anh Lin

Transcript

Rebuilding in Community | with Anh Lin · The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Hey friends, so how are you enjoying the relationship series so far this month?
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: I am having a great time not only recording these conversations, but also sharing some of these voices I trust.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm also enjoying meeting some new friends along the way as well.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: So today's guest, Anne Lynn, is one of those new friends and also a new friend to my Instagram feed, but she has a very influential DIY account my girls have enjoyed following for a while.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: Anne recently released a debut book, Forever Home, A Transformative Journey of Healing, Empowerment, and Inner Peace.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: And throughout the pages, she shares her inspiring story of overcoming brokenness to guide you to unlock your true potential to help you find inner strength and embrace a fulfilling life.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: And of course, just based on those descriptions and that title, you know that when this book came across my desk, I had to take a second glance.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: There were so many aspects to chat about today, and we do.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: We don't go all over the place.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: I promise we follow a rhythm and a rhyme and reason.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: But I really wanted to use this conversation with Anne to serve as a guide to help you engage in community.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: While I get it that community is hard and not all community is healthy, I do believe that we can do our best healing in community.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: And while I know there is no perfect community, I do know that there is an immense value in not going through life alone.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: So I wholeheartedly believe that you are invited to engage in community as you heal and as you do this wholehearted life.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: I really do think you're going to appreciate the value and the depth of this conversation and all that Anne has to share.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: So let's get right to it.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: Hey there, I'm Amy Wix, your guide by the side for your wholehearted journey.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: And friend, I get it.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: Lives can be whirlwind, building family, work, and all the in-between.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: As a wife, non-decured teenagers, and building a growing business, I felt the overwhelm, the doubts, and the struggles too.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: But here's the thing.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: The Lord took my broken-hearted pieces and turned them into a beautiful story of clarity, peace, and joy.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: And now I'm here to help you do the same.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: With years of experience as a certified Enneagram coach, spiritual director, and working genius facilitator, I am here to provide you with practical wisdom and inspiration.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: Through expert interviews and real life examples, you can uncover your strengths, motivations, and God's unwavering love.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: And together, we're going to explore biblical truths, different personality profiles, and life rhythms that will empower you to break free from anxiety, shame, and frustration.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: I have walked the path, my friend, and I know the challenges you face.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: But that's why I'm here, by your side, cheering you on as you embrace whole-hearted living.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: So grab your headphones, invite a friend, and let's embark on this transformative journey together.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Simply Wholehearted, where we laugh, learn, and flourish as a community.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: Well, Anne, we love talking about the Enneagram around here because, well, it's just a great tool to have to help us understand our starting point so it doesn't become our stuck point.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: With that in mind, I like using out-of-the-box methodologies to talk about our personality.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: So today, without telling us your type, tell us a little bit about your personality and how you would describe it or how it shows up in the world.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, without telling you my Enneagram, um, I suppose what really sparks joy for me, or um I guess motivate me is to see the people around me thriving.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_01: And when my environment and the people around me are happy and fulfilled, I feel like I'm a part of something really meaningful and purposeful.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_01: So that's what really gets me going and motivated and inspired.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_01: Um, hopefully that doesn't give away too much.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_01: Um, that's good.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_01: I also find a lot of joy in um decorating my home and just um telling, I guess, biblical stories in a new, more disarming way to um non-Christian audiences.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_01: So I love introducing God's sweet side, um, his fatherly side to those who haven't known him yet.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_01: So those are the traits that I think kind of sum me up a little bit.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my goodness, I love that.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: Well done.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I think this is why I'm so excited to have you sharing here about the topic of community because we've been spending this month talking about relationships, our relationship with God in marriage as a mom.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: Now we're diving into the community aspect.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: And um, we're gonna have two sides to this conversation about community, how we can focus on building it in our life, and then how we can come along and minister to it.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: Next week, we're talking about times of grief.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: And that, I mean, so it's gonna be such a great conversation.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so excited to share with my friends.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: But for today, I want to focus on some of the topics that you shared in your book, Forever Home.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: Um, beautiful work.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: I know you've poured out your heart, soul, and I'm sure strength into this.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so before we dive into the topic though, and this concept of community, what has been your journey in the DIY space?
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: Because that's really like you said, that has opened up the door to a great amount of impact.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I actually had no idea that I would be in this um industry.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_01: I actually studied English.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_01: So um I intended to become a teacher or a copywriter or something like that.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_01: But it wasn't until I graduated college and um moved back into my mother's house that I realized this was unsustainable.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_01: Like our dynamic was still very toxic and it was not the environment I needed to heal.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_01: And so I just did whatever I could to save enough money to move out.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_01: And I ended up moving into this um really kind of dinky apartment in the outskirts of downtown.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and the outside, like the neighborhood, was pretty sketchy, but the inside of the apartment was fairly, you know, renovated and it was fine.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_01: So I sought refuge in that space and I spent one full paycheck making it over.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I turned it into kind of this like modern loft type of feel using wallpaper and all of these uh budget materials.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_01: And I took a photo and uploaded it onto my Instagram for fun, and it kind of blew up.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and that was when my uh interest was piqued, and I thought, wow, this could be a fun hobby.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_01: But as you know, um if you are more consistent with your hobby, over time it opens up new opportunities.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_01: So before I knew it, I was able to replace my um full-time income with the stuff that I was doing on Instagram.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and that was just kind of like the beginning of my um career in home styling.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_01: And then it wasn't until I started YouTube that I really incorporated the scriptures into my overall, I guess, um, message.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and that's when it brought everything full circle for me.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_01: And I guess my calling just clicked.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I love that.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: I'm curious to know because this was such a different direction than you had planned, and it was a hobby first.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: I I'd be I'd like to know what has been hard about doing this hobby as a job, but what are you so grateful and are you loving?
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: It's nice to do what you love to do.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, absolutely.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_01: It's still very surreal to know that I get to be my own boss and make my own schedule and have a lot of autonomy in that way.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but that it's also the double-edged sword that a lot of entrepreneurs face is the um lack of direction and the lack of guidance.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_01: So if you're doing something that no one around you has done before, there's no one to really walk you through it and give you next steps.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_01: So I think that's the hardest part for me is constantly leaning on the Lord to be more inspired and just positioning myself in a way that allows me to hear him better and um so that I can relay it to my audience.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_01: Um, the last thing I want to do is to just like conjure up, I don't know, anything from my own willpower or from my own, I don't know, like sense of urgency to just get a message out there.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_01: I really don't like being in that position.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_01: I want to be in a position where I'm constantly the vessel where his message like flows through me and I can just naturally share what he wants me to say.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: Wow, that is so beautiful.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: I coach a lot of coaches in this space, and I am always inviting them to realize that God is their CEO.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, we might be the CEO of our company, but we can partner with the Lord in a way that brings so much more life and confidence that we're doing the thing that matters.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: Because kind of to your point, even if we feel like no one's done what we've done before, we are also told 10 different ways to go about it.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: That's true.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's it's it's hard.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's easy to get overwhelmed.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's hard to know what the right thing to do is.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: And ultimately, as believers, we get to we're we're invited to this process of partnering with the Lord and allowing him to say, Hey, how about this direction?
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_01: For real.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_01: That's like the best um experience when you're just flowing with him and you're just so in step with him that you don't have to uh force yourself to be inspired, but it just comes naturally.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_01: I love finding myself in that flow.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, that's awesome.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_00: And I'd like to just put a little note here, an asterisk saying just because you do that doesn't mean you're gonna end up with a half a million followers and a book deal.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: Like it may mean that it's a long obedience in the same direction.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_00: And it's just about the joy and the pleasure of working with the Lord unto the fruit that He wants for you in this time.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe over time you'll reach that, but it could, you know, this is where like it's so it's so easy to extract these sort of conversations and like, oh, this is the formula, and it's like, oh, it's not a formula.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: It really isn't.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I came across a quote recently that said, How you know you love what you're doing is if you're doing it when no one is watching.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: So that's good.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, right.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_01: Even before I had a real platform or real followers, quote unquote, um, I was still doing the same hobbies as I was right now, you know, still trying to be in step with the Lord.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_01: And so what I found through the success that this brought was that this the I guess feeling of like success lasts for maybe like 15 minutes.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_01: And then if you don't actually love what you're doing, you're gonna go back to hating it.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_01: So um, so doing it for the wrong reasons will catch up to you so quickly.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and to remember the impact that we get to have.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: I was just having a conversation with a coach about a conversation we had before.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: So it was kind of this revisitation of something that was impactful for her.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I think I said it at a retreat, but essentially, whether it's a podcast or your social media following or your email list, we tend to despise small beginnings or we say it's just 200, it's just 2000, or it's you know, we minimize that number and quantify it in a way that just devalues the incredible impact that we can have.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: Because if we began to picture it as there are 200 people sitting in the room that are listening to me that I get to have impact on, wow, that's a phenomenal thing.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: There are a lot of churches out there who'd love to get 200 people in their seats on a regular basis, right?
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_01: When you put it into that perspective, you're a lot more grateful for the views that you're getting because 30 views might seem like nothing, but if you had 30 people in your room or in your shop, you'd be overwhelmed.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_00: So yes.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: That is so good.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: Well, we won't keep going on the DIY space trail or the entrepreneur conversation, but I do love it.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: And of course, if my friends aren't already following you, I know they're gonna want to go there to be inspired.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: And it's just so great because I do not have the gift of decorating or creating aesthetics.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sure you do.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_01: Look at your background, it's just so organized and it's even like color-coded in some areas.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, thank you.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like it represents the full-on seven of like, here, here's just my things I love, but it's right there.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_01: I love it.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: Uh you're great.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: You're great.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I wanted to hear a little bit more about the book because there is so much story in it.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: It's very story-rich.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_00: And we love doing story work here.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: I we love the story behind the story, and a lot of that is about a broken-hearted moment or broken-hearted moments.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: And ultimately, when we give them to the Lord and we give him all the pieces, we get to step into a journey of healing.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: So I feel like that really touches on the heart of your book.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_00: So I'd love to hear more, maybe whether it's um one story or a couple of stories that are behind the fruit of what is in your book.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, thank you for giving me a space to, you know, share these stories vulnerably.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I guess it all started when I found myself at the darkest place I had ever been in.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_01: And that was during my, I believe, senior year of high school.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_01: Um I had just gotten out of an abusive relationship with my first love.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_01: And in my, you know, teenage heart, I truly did believe that we were gonna build this beautiful life together because those were the promises he made.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_01: And having no one else to kind of support me and be there for me, I took his promises very seriously.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I was very devoted to him and I loved him unlike I had loved anybody at that point.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I would have done anything for this kid.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but he was also very misguided and was going through a lot of family problems himself with no guidance.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_01: And so he ended up hurting me in very, you know, um direct ways, like either by physical abuse or emotional or mental abuse.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but I didn't know any better.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_01: And I thought that was normal because that was all I had ever known at that point, and no one was there to tell me any different.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_01: So fresh out of this really difficult relationship, feeling extremely lost.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_01: Um, my relationship with my mom was also in turmoil at that point.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_01: Um, my father passed when I was in middle school, so it was just me and my mom.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_01: And what I ended up doing was just trashing myself at parties every single weekend, underage, drinking, doing all kinds of substances.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and this one particular night, I remember being on all kinds of drugs and stuff.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_01: And then um I was at a house party and the party ended.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_01: So I stumbled into like a stranger's car, and then the car filled up with all of my friends, and the car took off into the night.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_01: And um the driver started playing really loud EDM music.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I was just in the back seat, um, having this like come to myself moment when I started sobbing and sobbing and thought, nobody truly loves you.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_01: And it was like uh, it was just the most loneliest feeling I've ever had.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_01: But just as quickly as I thought that to myself, I saw in my mind's eye this vision of the painting of Jesus that my mom had in my childhood home.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_01: Um, every place that we would move to, she would erect the same altar with the same painting of Jesus.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_01: And in that moment, I saw that painting.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_01: And I just felt this comfort just wash over me from my head, cloaking my arms down to my toes.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_01: And I had never felt that kind of peace and comfort before.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and then it really like snapped me out of it, and I was able to um tap the driver on the shoulder and ask him to take me home.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_01: And the next uh school day, I contacted the only Christian friend I knew in high school, and she got super giddy when I told her the story.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, why are you so happy?
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, now I get it, but at the time I'm like, she's really happy.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_01: But then she brought me to her family church, and her brother was preaching that Sunday, and I remember just like falling to my knees and giving my life to Christ.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_01: It was the first time in my life that I had felt like I found truth, um, something that was like undeniably true.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_01: And it was his love for me.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and it's not to say my life was perfect after that.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, hearing like a college story, you know, like it was very clear that I still had a lot of relational issues and a lot of attachment issues that I didn't know I had.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_01: So my relationships were still like all over the place, even after Jesus.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_01: But through his grace, um, I was able to have more mental health support after college and um surrounded myself with a more trauma-informed community.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_01: And that really helped me to unearth parts of myself that I didn't know were broken and really surrender it to the Lord for um full healing.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I'm still on that journey right now.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think I'll ever arrive.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, sanctification is a lifelong process.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but I really do feel a lot more in tune with who I am now and who I'm supposed to be.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_01: And I have a clear sense of my forever home, which is ultimately heaven, but also bringing that piece of heaven down here to earth in my physical environment.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and that's kind of the inspiration behind my book Forever Home: Moving Beyond Brokenness to Build a Strong and Beautiful Life.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_00: That is so beautiful.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I mean, I just can in my mind's eye imagine you in your youth and the hurt uh girl that you were.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I know, you know, there's even so much more hurt and pain behind that what we sometimes call the bottom of the you moment, where we come to the end of ourselves and we have that opportunity to go from victim to either villain or hero.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_00: And so I thank you for sharing that with me and and with my friends.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_00: I so beautiful.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's very interesting.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_00: You contrasted both what community can be and um you know what could be detrimental and what could be life-altering, changing for the better.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm curious, I you talk about five steps here that I think are really invaluable to understanding how to have a healthier community.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_00: You you shared some of the aspects even as you were sharing your story, but I'm curious, what would you say those five steps or five things are as we think about trying to create a healthier environment to work on our sanctification and our wholeness and what I like to call our whole hearted journey?
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, when you brought up um community and relationships, I mean, um I wrote in my book that the Same way that a relationship can cause great harm to a person, it can also be a source of healing and restoration.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_01: And you see that so clearly when you're trying to rebuild your life and evaluate who you're allowing access into your life.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but the five steps that you're talking about is um removing the unsafe patterns of your past, renewing the foundation of your life, rebuilding the framework of your resilience, and then reinforcing the integrity of your boundaries and restoring the beauty that God promised you.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_01: And these are the five pillars that I dive deep into in Forever Home.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I use the overarching metaphor of building a house from scratch to as like an analogy for rebuilding your life after trauma.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_01: So starting over by demolishing the old, and when you're in that demolition process, which a lot of people are, especially after the pandemic, it could feel so chaotic and so totally beyond repair.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_01: But I just want to encourage anybody who's listening to this that even if it seems severe, you are in the right spot if you're finding yourself in a demolition, because that means that you are doing away with the old.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_01: And only then can you erect something new and better.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_01: So now that the old is gone, you get to erect this new foundation on God's love.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_01: And when we are securely attached to our Creator, it really gives us the constancy and the stability we need to build this new and abundant life upon it.
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_01: Like uh there's that like famous verse in Matthew, right?
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_01: That says, when the storms of life hit and the winds beat against your house, if it's built on bedrock, it will not wash away, it will stand firm.
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_01: And that bedrock is the bedrock of his love.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and then after that, you can feel free to rebuild the framework of your resilience.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_01: It's like the studs of the house.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_01: This is what separates the inside from the outside.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_01: You want to keep the good in and keep the bad out, and having that like safe boundary will allow you to protect yourself and your cherished relationships.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_01: So I go way deeper into boundaries as well and the importance of that in our relationships.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_01: And um, same thing, reinforcing the integrity of your um boundaries, the studs and the framework you've built.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_01: And then finally, when everything is in place and you know your your drywall is in, so to speak, and you know, all of the bathroom tiles are neatly um put together, now is the inspections.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_01: The inspector is essentially the Holy Spirit.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_01: We invite him into our lives to do a thorough inspection of our heart, see if there are any areas that we've missed.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_01: And even though this is like kind of a painful period of waiting, um, like inspectors, like you know, delay projects by weeks, like nobody likes inspectors.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_01: It's true.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's it's very, very draining on your patience.
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_01: But I have been so blessed by our personal city inspectors because without them, my current physical home would be like very unsafe.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I I wouldn't be able to trust that it was built with integrity.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_01: And with the inspector's expertise, I can now live with full, you know, um confidence that this is a safe structure.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_01: And that's what the Holy Spirit can do with your life.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_01: He comes in, he gives your heart a thorough inspection.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_01: It takes some time, but he's patient with you and allows you to um continually go back and you know right your wrongs and gives you second, third, hundred chances.
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_01: And that's what grace does until you finally are aligned with him, and then you get to move forward to the final phase, which is adornment, restoring the beauty that he has for you.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel like this is um so neglected among people who have been hurt before.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_01: They don't feel like they are deserving of a beautiful life.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_01: They think, oh, it sounds nice, but it's not for me.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_01: And they have this trouble receiving it because receiving something so abundant and beautiful means that you now have something to lose.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_01: And that's that's very scary for a lot of people.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_01: But I want to just encourage you that if that's how you're feeling today, please allow your heart to feel settled in the presence of his spirit.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_01: Let him gift you with beautiful things, as painful as it may be and as scary as it may be, because nothing will be able to take away what he has truly given you, which is eternal salvation.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_01: You already have your forever home secured.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_01: Everything else that he adorns you with is just a bonus.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_01: So allow yourself to receive it with grace, and you'll see that over time it gets a lot easier to accept the beautiful things that he has for you.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_01: So that's kind of the premise of the whole book.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_01: And I truly hope it'll be the greatest like guidebook to your journey of healing.
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, and thank you.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_00: I I even love this last part in particular about receiving the adornment and the beautiful gifts that come along with healing.
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_00: I'm finding more and more that while we might have sort of an entitlement complex a lot of times just because we are so blessed in the Western culture, uh, I actually am finding more and more in my conversations with women and coaching and everything, while we may want it or even ask for it, do we receive it?
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_00: Especially if it looks different than some ideal that we had been holding on to or still holding on to.
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_00: And there's so much there that I don't think we can even begin to unpack.
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_00: But I'd love to scratch the surface and and go, hey, my friend who's listening, don't skip over this part because you may have gone through the rebuilding process, but are you allowing that receiving process and restoring process to really come in as fully as the Lord would like to offer?
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's a lot harder than we are willing to acknowledge sometimes.
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of women struggle with receiving because we're so used to giving and are expected to give everything all the time to everyone in our lives that the moment we start asking for good things from the Lord, guilt creeps in.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_01: And I am reminded of this quote by C.S.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_01: Lewis, if you don't mind me um sharing it.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_01: It's from The Weight of Glory.
• 29:25
  SPEAKER_01: And he says, It would seem that our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_01: We are half-hearted creatures, fooling around with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_01: We are far too easily pleased.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_01: And I was blown away when my pastor shared this quote, because the world has so much to seemingly offer you, and it could seem shiny, and the comparison can kick in, and you might want to ask for these things, which are fine, but what God will give you by you know what I mean by adorning your life is so much more lasting and I guess fulfilling than anything that the world can offer you through a billboard, you know, or or an actual holiday at the sea.
• 30:31
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_01: Uh yeah, it's it's incredible the the things that God will give to his children because he is a good father.
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, that quote, and I I actually used it in my book, Should Christians Use the Enneagram?
• 30:45
  SPEAKER_00: And I, that whole um, the weight of glory is just fantastic.
• 30:50
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think I've read anything of C.S.
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_00: Lewis's that I didn't enjoy.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_00: I well, some of his sci-fi stuff I didn't, I'm not a sci-fi person.
• 30:58
  SPEAKER_00: So I take that back.
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_00: But everything else I just um have gobbled up and highlighted and dog eared, it's there's so much richness.
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_00: And that quote, it really encapsulates and encompasses so much here that you're talking about.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_00: Because I know that, like you said, when we if we're thinking of how the world is saying it, it will be temporary.
• 31:22
  SPEAKER_00: But when we take receive it from the Lord, there is so much uh lasting uh beauty and gift in it.
• 31:29
  SPEAKER_00: So um so so good.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_00: I I'm kind of curious here before um we we go too much longer here and before we have to end, but tell me a little bit about resilience because that word has been used lately a lot.
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like there's something in that word for us as believers for this time and maybe for a lot of different reasons.
• 31:54
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm just curious if you have a story or a moment where you're like, I have to choose resilience, even though I want to just give up and I don't know, quit, right?
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_01: Oh man, you are right in that resilience is being thrown around a lot, and not a lot of people understand what it takes to have true resilience.
• 32:17
  SPEAKER_01: They think that um it's tough love, you know, you kind of just have to white knuckle your way through life.
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_01: And that's what I feel like a connotation is when the word resilience is used in the world and even in church sometimes.
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_01: But the like in actuality, it's the opposite.
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_01: How you become a resilient person is based on your attachment to your loved ones and more importantly, your attachment to God.
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_01: If you have a firm attachment to him and you know that he is there for you, even when you can't see him or feel him, or if you commune with him daily and have a solid understanding of his love for you, this will give you this unshakable peace and this unshakable strength when you are going through those dark nights of the soul.
• 33:08
  SPEAKER_01: And that is kind of the basis of everything.
• 33:11
  SPEAKER_01: You need you need an attachment with him first, but he also placed you in community, right?
• 33:18
  SPEAKER_01: He didn't intend for us to walk through life alone.
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_01: And where we can draw um this um, I guess, strength from, besides him and the Holy Spirit, is from our godly community.
• 33:32
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and that's just how we were wired.
• 33:35
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and that's what it means to be in God's house and being his hands and feet, being part of the body.
• 33:42
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I think when we have that relationship with him and it's solid and secure, and we feel secure in that, and having secure relationships with others, you are set up for success.
• 33:55
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I I mean that's really all there is to it.
• 33:58
  SPEAKER_01: It's just community with others and community with God.
• 34:02
  SPEAKER_01: But I think a lot of times people misunderstand it as I have to do this on my own.
• 34:07
  SPEAKER_01: And if I can't do it on my own, then I'm not strong or I'm not resilient.
• 34:12
  SPEAKER_01: But that's not how you become resilient.
• 34:15
  SPEAKER_01: So it's we just have to have a more, I guess, um, biblically accurate perspective on what it means to have this inner strength.
• 34:26
  SPEAKER_00: I love your touches on our attachment to the Lord and how it impacts the attachment to community.
• 34:35
  SPEAKER_00: Because um, and I'm so grateful I've been working with um an attachment therapist who's gone through the Enneagram certification process at her therapist level.
• 34:45
  SPEAKER_00: And so we've been just talking through this concept of understanding ourselves, understanding our kids, understanding the attachment, good, healthy attachment process, but then the impact with our Lord.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_00: And so to try to just, you know, like tie that all in of going when we have removed the unsafe patterns from our life and we've renewed our foundation in Christ, then we can engage with our community without needing them to fill something that they were never meant to fill, right?
• 35:16
  SPEAKER_01: Right, exactly.
• 35:18
  SPEAKER_01: And that was where I teetered from being, you know, someone who wanted to help the people around me with being a people pleaser.
• 35:27
  SPEAKER_01: So all of these Enneagrams always have like the strengths and the weaknesses.
• 35:32
  SPEAKER_01: Um, on, you know, they're there are always two sides of the same coin.
• 35:37
  SPEAKER_01: And having that firm foundation on God's love really helped me to stay on the healthy side of who he created me to be.
• 35:45
  SPEAKER_01: Otherwise, I get really hung up on how the people feel around me and I get like hyper sensitive to their moods, and that's just not good.
• 35:54
  SPEAKER_00: Totally.
• 35:55
  SPEAKER_00: I know I've been learning new things in my mid-40s about attachment and new insights about where I have put too much emphasis in the in the wrong way, in an unhealthy way, in a codependent way, even.
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_00: And yet when we have it in alignment, our our community could help us walk in relationship in a healthy way, but also keep us growing and keep us in a place of healing when they're healthy as well.
• 36:23
  SPEAKER_00: Not perfect.
• 36:24
  SPEAKER_00: Uh let's be clear.
• 36:25
  SPEAKER_00: There is no perfect community out there.
• 36:28
  SPEAKER_00: It does not exist, but um, it's just so invaluable about being surrounded by those who can keep us.
• 36:34
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why I love to do this podcast.
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_00: This is why I love getting to meet new women like you who love the Lord and have this firm foundation.
• 36:44
  SPEAKER_00: I dare say, and I don't say this from a place of fear, but it's just going to be harder and harder as the world continues to have um its way.
• 36:54
  SPEAKER_00: And so may we link arms and draw closer to one another and on unto building the kingdom of God in a greater way.
• 37:01
  SPEAKER_00: Amen.
• 37:02
  SPEAKER_00: Amen.
• 37:03
  SPEAKER_00: Well, and this has been so wonderful.
• 37:06
  SPEAKER_00: I just love every little nugget, and I feel like there's so many more things I would wanted to like go down that rabbit trail and talk about this and all of that.
• 37:14
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, just in closing, is there any last piece of wisdom or advice that you'd love to share today?
• 37:19
  SPEAKER_01: I think everyone should have a more realistic perspective of people and also of God.
• 37:27
  SPEAKER_01: The imperfect people may hurt us, but our perfect God can heal us.
• 37:33
  SPEAKER_01: And I really do hope that whatever season you find yourself in, whether it's the demolition or the boundary setting or even the inspections period, I really hope that the book can be this survival guide for you.
• 37:51
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and that the Lord will work through it to really bring you out of that phase um smoothly and with more wisdom than you went into it.
• 38:05
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, beautifully said, Anne.
• 38:07
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for this.
• 38:09
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for your work.
• 38:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm just excited for more people to get their hands on your book and to learn from you over these next years.
• 38:17
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 38:18
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for having me.
• 38:21
  SPEAKER_00: While Anne is new to my world, I have certainly found her to be a kindred spirit.
• 38:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I thought maybe as I read through the pages of her book, this would be the case, and it sure was.
• 38:32
  SPEAKER_00: It was delightful to get to connect and talk with her.
• 38:35
  SPEAKER_00: I think there were so many things that we could have expanded on, but I really hope that you get her book, that you work through those five steps that we expanded on a little bit in our time together.
• 38:48
  SPEAKER_00: So rich, so good, and it has my wholehearted stamp of approval.
• 38:52
  SPEAKER_00: And also, would you do her a favor and let her know that you appreciated getting to meet her or learn more about her in this conversation?
• 39:01
  SPEAKER_00: If you could just go say hey on Instagram, you can find her at girl and the word, give her a shout out and a thank you for being on the Simply Wholehearted podcast.
• 39:11
  SPEAKER_00: It would mean a lot to me, and I know it would bless Anne as well.
• 39:15
  SPEAKER_00: Now, next week I'm going to share another beautiful conversation about caring for your community.
• 39:21
  SPEAKER_00: And fair warning, I did get super tearful a few times.
• 39:25
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, there was an ugly cry near the end.
• 39:28
  SPEAKER_00: But Jane and Christy of Nier were just so safe.
• 39:32
  SPEAKER_00: They created that safe place and I we were chatting just as friends, and it was really beautiful.
• 39:38
  SPEAKER_00: And I do think it's a perfect conversation to wrap up this month's focus on relationships and to get us ready for kicking off our admin season.
• 39:49
  SPEAKER_00: If you did think of someone who could use fans book in this conversation, would you please pass this conversation along?
• 39:56
  SPEAKER_00: I do pray that these episodes will reach as many friends as possible.
• 40:00
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for sharing.
• 40:03
  SPEAKER_00: You are truly the best.
• 40:05
  SPEAKER_00: All right, until next time, friends, continue to bring this perspective, purpose, and plans for your simply of our device.