Latest / PoshUnfiltered / PoshUnfiltered Ep 3: Rio Adebisi - The Road to Recovery

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PoshUnfiltered Ep 3: Rio Adebisi - The Road to Recovery · PoshUnfiltered

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_05: Oh that thing when you only overlook and like cut the thing beforehand.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_03: Imagine if I had a conversation just beforehand were like captured and then put it out.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_03: And I can't intercept, so welcome to episode three of Posh Unfiltered.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_03: My name is Philadlum.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_03: I'm once again joined as co-host by a man who's got a tremendous record against MK Dons, which bugs as well give him a go now on Saturday, Mr.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_03: Craig McCal Smith.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_03: And our guest today is Rio Adabisi.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_03: Rio, welcome to the podcast.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you for giving up your time to join us.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_03: Um obviously it's been two years where we haven't really had much interaction in terms of interviews.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_03: We thought it'd be a good opportunity to sort of sit down and tell your story, really, because um I think people have a perception maybe outside that they don't really understand what goes on inside.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_03: So let's take you back right to the beginning because uh I remember we we signed you actually in the summer of 2024.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_03: I think we signed someone else on that day as well, so it would have been a busy day.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, Keen Hayes, I think it was.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_03: Keen Hayes, yeah.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_03: Um I remember doing the uh doing the interview with you, and obviously you came off a wonderful season with Crew Alexandra.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_03: Um, can you remember those those sort of early days doing the sign in pictures and and sort of getting stuck in?
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, I think well, I remember being very excited.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_05: I remember kind of with crew because I was still under 24, there was still the compensation kind of thing.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_05: And um it was here and there, keep going back and forth quite a while to be honest.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_05: Um, I didn't know if I was ever gonna leave crew.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_05: I know Peterborough had shown interest very, very early, and I wanted to go to a place where had shown a lot of interest, and Peterborough was definitely the best option for me.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_05: I remember the first I remember when Barry Fry called me and was that it's all done.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_05: I basically got in the car straight away and came down.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_05: Um and yeah, and then from there a lot of things have happened, but I'm sure we'll talk about it.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, by the way, do you know that who Barry is to Craig?
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_03: No.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_03: Craig, do you want to share the details?
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, is that my father-in-law?
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_03: Is he and that's that's so mad when people when people find out that that's the actual truth, but yeah, he he is actually his father-in-law.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, what's Christmas like?
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's eventful.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, what a surprise.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_03: Some stories, I'd be so obviously when you uh you just signed off to um helping Crew to get to the player final remedy, hadn't you?
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_03: So um obviously it would have been registered to leave in the first place.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_03: How how did you view Peterborough at that time?
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_03: I know you wanted to come where you wanted, but did you see it as a real good stepping stone in your career?
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, I think Peterborough was a great option because I know I knew from the start that they were going to be a playing football team.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_05: I always wanted to go somewhere to play football.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_05: I think I'd always thrive in a team that's gonna play football, uh especially with how I play.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_05: Um, and also when I was at Crew, I've always learned and I've come through the system there of playing football, so I wanted to go somewhere that was gonna give me a great opportunity to carry on that.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_05: Um, and I think at the time Pebre were two years in the playoffs, and I think this year before that they were in the champs, so I wanted to go to a place where we're striving for that, and we still are, but I think at the point then I was really excited for coming to a place which will develop me, and especially Darren Ferguson at the point at the time would have definitely helped me a lot.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_05: So I think at the time it was definitely the best option for me.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_03: Because it's interesting, isn't it, when a new player comes into the group, they want to obviously impress straight away.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_03: And and you had your first setback quite early on, didn't you?
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_03: Just talk us through the the the what happened in that pre-season and and uh what you had to go through at that particular point.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_05: I think it all started maybe from because m with my season at crew, I played every single game, I started every league game.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_05: Um so I'd come off a season where I'd played so many minutes and gone through injuries at a time, but played through them and stuff like that.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_05: So when I came when I knew I was coming to the end of my contract at uh uh crew, I kind of in the off-season, kind of I probably should have taken more time to rest, but I knew I knew there was an opportunity of going to Peterborough, so I kind of wanted to carry on with my fitness and stuff like that.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_05: So when I came to Peterborough, I'll be straight into it.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_05: Um obviously, when I came here in the first few weeks, yeah, I got injured.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_05: And I think for me, what hurt me the most was you want to come to a place where you're desperate to show people what you're about, you're desperate to show people how good you are and what you want to do on and off the pitch.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_05: So I think when I got I found out that I need surgery and I got injured early doors, that hurt me the most because yeah, just coming to a new place, you want to show the fans, you want to show everyone around there why they've got me and stuff like that, and kind of show my ability.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_03: In terms of that that sort of setback, I mean, we've spoken on the podcast already, we're only done two episodes and we've we spoke to Harry about injuries and how it affects you, Craig, from your point of view.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_03: When you go to a new club, how you can sort of sympathize with what Rio went through there from your own playing career?
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's I think it's tough, as you said, like when you you you come to a new club, you want to show them you've you've been brought in, you kind of you want to show the fans, like show that loyalty to the manager and the chairman that they brought you in and that expectation, and then obviously for it to be to kind of get injured so quick, you kind of feel like sometimes you feel like you let people down, and and it's not kind of like you're fought in away, it's just that it's just part and parcel of of the game.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_02: So, like when that happened to you, did you how did you deal with it mentally?
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_02: Because obviously you've come in, you're excited, all that energy coming off of the back of a good season.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_02: How did you mentally deal with hearing those that words you get to have surgery and then the the the kind of the length of time it was gonna take?
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_05: I think having my missus down here and my family close helped me a lot.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_05: I think also for me at Crew, I was out for 10 months with a foot injury uh where I had two surgeries back to back, so that kind of helped me when I first found out about the uh the news that I was gonna get knee surgery because I'd already been through it.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_05: So me with this long-term injury that I've had has helped me because I've already had the experience before and how to deal with it.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_05: I think just just kind of being in the mindset like you're gonna come back and you're gonna you just gotta put the work in every single day um helps you get through it a lot.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_05: And um, but at the very very start, when I did find out it was tough because yeah, you come to a place where you wanna you wanna show you what you're about, really, and I think that's what eat me up the most.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_05: Um so yeah.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_03: Because I think the initial diagnosis wasn't it that it was gonna be well, publicly it was four months.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_03: Is that what was told to you at the time?
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_03: Because obviously with a knee, it's everyone says, alright, when people say knee injury, that could be a multitude of things, can't it?
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_03: Because there's the the knee is the most complicated, probably area of the body in terms of an injury that you can possibly get.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_03: What do they what did they say to you when you were going into the surgery in terms of length of time, what it was?
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_03: Did they go into much detail?
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, so basically my injury is cartilage damage.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_05: So behind your patella, your kneecap, unlike where your femur is, your kneecap rubs against where your cartilage is, and basically over time and over time it broke away.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_05: Um and the the amount that had broken off, they were saying it's gonna be a while.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_05: Obviously, I needed to have been a leg brace for a long time, and then slowly gradual, gradual come back to it.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_05: But I feel like things went on and I kind of maybe probably came back too early for it to then go again, and then I needed obviously a much serious surgery after that.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_03: Because when when that happened, obviously, and you found out that the initial surgery has not resolved the issue.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_03: What kind of thing goes through your mind at that point?
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_03: Because that because you'd already done the the the majority of the rehab, right?
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_03: And then obviously to be told, listen, it's it we need to do more.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_03: How do you how do you view that as an individual?
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_03: Do you just think okay, well that's half the course, I'm gonna have to get it, get it done and just crack on?
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_03: Or it's so hard to put itself in into your shoes.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_05: I think I was just I was mainly gutted, but yeah, I think I think it's just hard because you've worked so hard for the past four or five months, you think you get to a place where right, I'm gonna be back, and then it goes again.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_05: You kind of question what's happened in the rehab before.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_05: Like, did I do it, did I do it right?
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_05: Did I rush too?
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_05: Did I push myself a bit too hard?
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_05: But obviously, I was at a place where I'm in a new club still.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_05: I still want to get back.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_05: Like, I probably looking back now, I probably shouldn't have done some things along the line.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_05: I probably should have taken my time a bit longer, but I'm fighting to try to get back and show people what I'm about.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_05: So you kind of the pain that you might have felt on the grass coming back, you thought it'll be alright, or the swelling, you might tell yourself, Oh, it's not too bad.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_05: Um, and you listen to people that are around you, and you obviously as a player, you think what is the best for me?
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_05: But you kind of push through things to try and get to the place where you want to be back on the pitch as soon as possible.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_03: Um, that's interesting respect to people in the past about about injuries and and how people deal with injuries, and in what you said there is quite interesting, isn't it?
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_03: When you you look at swelling and you see swelling and you think it's it's fine, I'll I can I can push through that, and I suppose it's it's very difficult to to listen to your body, isn't it?
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_05: I think also sometimes especially as a young player, you need people to rein you back.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_05: I think especially when especially as a young player, you want to just do everything as quickly as possible.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_05: You need someone to like hold you back a bit, and um I think this time round, since I've had my left side done, we they've been a lot more cautious, and I think, especially with the new physios now, with because obviously they don't know my past, they're a lot more cautious with everything.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, and I think that's perfect for what I needed, even though I probably think I could go a bit quicker.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_05: I think being on the edge of caution is definitely gonna put me in a stead of like when I'm back, I'll be back then.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's hard though, isn't it?
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_02: As you say, like you you want to play, like you you kind of you haven't had the chance to to prove yourself, show your worth to the fans and to the team and that.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and you say like you kind of in the back of your mind, it's like, yeah, I'll I'll I'll just I'll I'll ignore that, I'll just keep going because I feel okay and I'm getting through, but say eventually it catches up with you, and I think that's that you say you you you're you're you're desperate to do your thing and to and sit in there and say you've had you had a long injury before and then you've had another injury, it's kind of like can I shave a little bit of time off?
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_02: Can I get back quicker and then prove prove that I'm worth the money?
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_02: So that's that is a it's a hard thing to to kind of be in.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_03: I think that's the thing, isn't it?
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_03: And from the outside looking in, and perception is everything in football, isn't it?
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_03: And people don't really know what people go through.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_03: And I would struggle mentally to be doing the same thing over and over again.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_03: So when you look at the the sort of the the injury, but the the first injury, how did you keep going?
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_03: How did you did you sort of comment compensate about carp?
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_03: I see what long place.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_03: What was the word last week?
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_03: I already compartmentalised.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_03: Um in terms of do you have little sort of jinx of light?
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_03: Do you aim for targets, or did you find that harder to sort of be given a deadline that you need to be at this point?
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_05: For me, I think, well, with my injuries, I've always had six-week reviews with the surgeon.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_05: So I think I've broken it down into basically six box, six-week box, and you attack them each day.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_05: And I've I've got a mentality where you just get up and do it regardless.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_05: Um at the end of the day, my missus got pregnant quite early when I moved, so I think that also give me an extra step to kind of you've got to give up anyway.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_05: At the end of the day, it's my career, and I want to get back playing for this club.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_05: Do you know what I mean?
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_05: So that's always at the end of it.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_05: Like, I'm never gonna give up until someone says, until the surgeon turns around and says, like, listen, you can't play anymore, then that'll be the end.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_05: Like, I'll never ever stop.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_03: And that's we were having this conversation as we were sort of walking around to this box, actually, we were talking about mentality and and players um in terms of adversity and how people deal with it.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_03: And I said it's great as we were walking around.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_03: I said that Rio is probably very different to sort of a modern day person in terms of your mentality because if someone tells you um you can't do something, you want to prove them wrong, right?
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_03: Your your ambition is to be the best you are every single day.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_03: We've we've seen you every single day at the training round, your first in, your last out, and you try and give yourself the best opportunity of coming back.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_03: Where's that come from?
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_03: Where's that drive coming from?
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_05: Um I think probably from my my dad, to be fair.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_05: Um grew up having to do a lot of work if I wanted to be a footballer with strict parents and stuff like that.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_05: Um but I think also just when you come when you're going through an academy system, you've gotta do the extra work.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_05: You've got to do more than your peers to be able to get to the places you want to get to.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_05: And everyone knows how hard it is to be a footballer.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_05: So if you're not gonna do the extra 1% every day, you're never gonna make what you want as a career.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_05: Like for me, money was never money's never a driver for me.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_05: I've always had like ambitions and goals myself in my football career, and um I think that now, even though I've been injured for so long, that's still I'm still wanting to get to them places.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_03: But it's hard, isn't it?
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_03: It's hard when you keep having setbacks, right?
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_03: To to to believe in that mentality, believe in that drive.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_03: How how do you how do you keep it consistent though?
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_03: Because I I when you're out for a period of time, you were out for 11 months, right?
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_03: When you did your 13 months ridiculous.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_03: During that time, I I would imagine there's lots of questions you're asking yourself, right?
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_03: In terms of do I really want this, do I really want to put the body through this?
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_03: So, how do you how do you how do you keep going and and how much admiration do you have for anyone that that goes through what we have?
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_02: Um I think that it's that desire, it's that that that like that willingness of saying, I'm not gonna give up, like I'm I'm gonna keep going and I'm gonna make this make this happen, I'm gonna make this work, however that looks, I'm gonna make it work.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_02: Um obviously, like Yulia, my my missus had a a child when I was going through my rehab, so that was like a real big that driver.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_02: Like, now I've got family, now I've got someone who's dependent on me.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_02: Like I can't sulk, I can't, I can't be down on myself.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_02: I've got to really drive myself forward and make sure that I come back.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_02: And if I come back as um as as good as I did, amazing.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_02: And if not, then I'm gonna come back as best I can possibly allow myself to come back.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_02: So there are there are dark days, and I've I'm sure you've gone through through days where it's you've had to kind of drag yourself off the floor, and I think it's very difficult.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_02: I think when fans hear about players getting injured, they're I I always feel like there's a you know, like that huff inside, and oh he's injured again.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_02: But like I don't think people realise actually what it takes to actually get through an injury.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_02: Like you see, yeah, he's a footballer and he's with all his teammates.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_02: You're not with all your teammates, like you're you're on your own.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, you barely see them.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, 20 24.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_02: It's like it's literally you with yourself, and you only see him.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_02: You might see him at lunch, yeah, and you might see him like here and there, but then it's just you doing your thing, and then and the hardest thing for you, because you want to play, is watching him go out on that training pitch, laughing and joking, and then you coming back in, and then you're still doing it used to be like 15 squats for me, or you know, like uh uh calf raises and stuff, and then I go back in the gym in the afternoon and everyone's gone, and so that it's like obviously you you're resilient, you're a resilient young man, and that will stand you in great stead moving forward.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_03: Is that the thing?
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_03: Because I I I've heard many people say that that the the hardest thing about being injured is not being injured, it's missing out on the things that yeah.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_05: Essentially, like I all I want to do is play football.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_05: No one ever wants to be injured, and especially no one should ever be injured for two two two weeks or even two years, you know what I mean?
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_05: So, like the thing like a lot of fans they don't really know what goes on on a day-to-day basis, like it's very lonely.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_05: Like, I like you said, I'm in the gym before everyone else, they go out to training, I'm still in the gym, see them at lunch, and then I'm back in the gym, they're all doing recovery or they're going home and stuff.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_05: So you don't I always feel like as a when you're injured, you're kind of on the outside of the team a bit because you don't get to bond with everyone else as much because you're not on the you're not on the pitch, you're not doing match days, you're not like fighting for each other week in, week out.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_05: Um I'm kind of I'm on my own schedule.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_05: Some days I'm in when the boys aren't in.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_05: Do you know what I mean?
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_05: So I think yeah, uh it's not just not being able to play play football, it's more just the everyday kind of what else you're missing out on, really.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_03: We'll talk a bit more in in part two of of Posh and Filtered.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_03: Also I want to talk to Rio because he was just saying about what you've what you've actually got in your leg these days, how you get to a scanner.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_03: I've I've no idea.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_03: Um so we'll join us in part two on Posh and Filtered.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_01: Special thanks to Global, Larrington Coe, and Hudson Holmes for letting us film Posh and Filtered in their hospitality box.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_03: Well, welcome back to part two of Posh and Filtered.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_03: I'm again joined by Craig Cal Smith and Rio Adabisi is our guest, and we've been talking a little bit in that first uh part of the show about um what you've kind of been through, and we're sort of scratching a little bit of the sides in terms of the first injury and and obviously coming back and then obviously um finding out that you you needed additional surgery.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_03: Um you actually did make your debut for Peach Brew United, didn't you, as a substitute?
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_03: I think it was Stopwalk away.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_03: Can you remember much about that experience in terms of being on the pitch, or or is it something that's kind of blurred within the the last couple of years?
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_05: No, it sticks out in my mind quite quite significantly because at the end of the day, that's the only minutes I played.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_05: So um I remember going, I remember feeling like I probably shouldn't be playing because I remember having knee swelling in my knee and stuff like that.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_05: So um, but I was just happy to be there.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_05: I was just happy to be able to put on a shirt for the club and get out on the pitch, really.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_05: I was grateful for the chance that Darren Ferguson gave me.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_05: Um I know I came on for only about 13 minutes, but I think it ended up being like 10-minute added on time or something.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_05: So I ended up playing a few more minutes.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_05: Um so yeah, it was actually a good good uh good experience because we travelled up on the day, I think, stayed um in a hotel a little bit before, and then I've been to Stockport many a time already, so kind of already knew what it was going to be like.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_05: Uh I think we I think did we lose two one?
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_05: I think it was.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, I think Joel Randall might have scored.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_05: Or so I was coming into a good game, and I'm glad that I um nothing really happened after I came on, but yeah, it was still a good experience.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_03: What was it like when the full-time whistle went?
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_03: Because uh often players would always talk about adrenaline, particularly when you you're coming back from an injury and it kind of gets you through those moments, doesn't it?
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_03: Or when that full-time whistle went, was there just was there no concern, or was it a case of you get back in the dressing room and you think, oh at the time I felt good.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_05: Um yeah, like I said before the game I didn't feel that good.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_05: But after I guess you keep quiet, don't you?
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_05: Because you're yeah, exactly.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_05: I kind of knew that I probably shouldn't be there, but I was good after I'd done a warm-up on the side of the pitch and got into the game, yeah.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_05: Like you said, adrenaline hits and you kind of get through it.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_05: I remember feeling after kind of sense of relief that I'd been able to get through it, and I think my family were there, so I was able to see them, which is nice.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_05: Um but yeah.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_03: So, what happened from there to the next sort of kind of diagnosis?
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_05: Uh we had it was around Christmas time, so we had um we think we trained on Christmas, and I I was doing a one-to-one session with Scarfi at the time and still felt fine.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_05: Um not my best, but I was getting through it and I felt alright.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_05: And then I remember my knee just swolled swelled up on Christmas Day, uh later on in the day after the session because we obviously had boxing day.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_05: I think we're playing Barnes on the boxing day, and I remember I was messaging chats um saying, listen, my knee's swollen up.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_05: Um but obviously people are doing stuff on Christmas, so so then came in the next day, had to tell Darren that I shouldn't be playing.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_05: Uh, then went for a scan, I think, on the 27th, and uh they basically just said that I'd had more cottage broken off.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_03: Happy Christmas.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_05: I don't know.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_03: Um I I I guess there's not much that can be paid for that news, right?
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_03: I mean I I I guess you you kind of you told it and you hung well, kinda.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, I think I think I think at the time I knew I wasn't right.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_05: I knew playing with swelling and stuff like that probably wasn't the best and probably needed someone to pull me off the pitch, really.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_05: Um but yeah, hearing that news, I kind of just wanted to know what I can do to fix it.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_05: What needs to be done to get me back on the pitch.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_05: And I and I remember going to see the surgeon, and he kind of said, Well, there's two options really.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_05: Well, at first he said you can do the first surgery again, and I was in a bit of a headspace world, that didn't work.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_05: But if I look back now, it maybe it was to do with more things, not just the surgery that went on.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_05: So um I remember being like, I need something else done because at the time that was only a small surgery, they only went in, washed it out, and kind of like stabilised the cartilage.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_05: And I was like, if I was to do that again, that might set me out uh for longer, and then it happened again.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_05: So I wanted a bigger surgery done um for longevity of my career.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_05: So I went to go see another another surgeon for a second opinion, and uh he suggested having this, I don't know the technical terms, but having basically my kneecap moved so that my kneecap was in a different position so that there'll be less contact on my cartilage.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_05: And um yeah, so then I end up getting that done, which is essentially if you you know like the knobby part, some people have it on the bottom of the knee.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_05: They basically cut that, slice that off, and that and on that knobby bit, your patella tendon attaches to that, and basically they pull that down and then screw it straight back into.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_05: Your shin so that it pulls your kneecap down a bit, so then hopefully, well, it's actually worked very well that that creates less friction against the cartilage there, so that when I'm running around and putting all the load through it, less there'll be less contact for more cartilage to break off.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_03: And when they had that conversation with you about that particular surgery, did I give you any time frame at that point?
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_03: Was it a case of this is the option?
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_03: You know, do you want to go ahead and do that option because you want to give yourself the best opportunity?
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_03: Or was it a case of right that's gonna take I don't know, the surgery is gonna put you out for eight to ten months, and you just accept that at that particular moment because no, they did tell me, they said it was gonna be six to nine months.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_05: Um I knew that I wanted to have I was happy with taking that decision because I knew that having the bigger surgery would put me in a better stead after it.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_05: And obviously I'd just come to the club, I was only six months into my deal, and you had still had three years left, well, two and a half years left.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_05: So I was thinking if I get this done, I'll still have a good two seasons to be able to crack on and show my show how good I am.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_05: So I made the decision for the longevity of my career, not just a quick fix, uh, because I was scared of if I was to do this first surgery again that I'd be in the same position and then need the bigger surgery later on down the line.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_03: Sounds sounds mad to me that there's the word surgery being banded about.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, like I'm I'm scared of like needles.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_03: So the fact that you've just described exactly what you're doing.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_05: I think I've had four surgeries.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_05: I've had two on my right, two on my left in two years, and then I've had two I had two yeah, two foot surgeries at crew as well.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_05: So I I I like fans never understand what you put your body through so that we can play for the club that we we're signed for.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_02: Um also that that's that's you for life now.
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_02: So like you're you've gone through that, and obviously as you get older, there's gonna be different challenges that that are gonna come along with that.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_02: So, as you said, like fans need the understanding of like what you've just put your body through that crew and that Peter Brah in in the hopes and the the dreams of actually playing.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so it's there's a lot to say you that's it's not just a small thing, that's like you put your body through four massive like big surgeries.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_05: A lot of a lot of players when they hear surgery, they don't want don't want the surgery.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_05: And and then I could have lots of people might have looked in and thought, right, it's time to call it a day.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_05: Like I might I remember my mum always messaging me saying, like, do you still want to play football?
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_05: Like she probably thinks for my well-being, like me going under surgeries this many times is probably bad for me.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_05: She's probably scared for me.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_05: So she was just she was more on the side of thinking, like, do you still want to play football, or is it are you just putting your body through stuff for no reason?
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_05: And I was like, I will I always want to play football.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_05: This is the only thing I know, and then it's the only thing I love to do.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_05: So So what's driving you?
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_02: What's driving what's driving you to keep going?
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_05: Just being able to play football.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_05: I just love playing football.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_05: I love the match day, I love playing, and I always I always have ambitions like I want to do well for this club, I wanna get I want to get promoted with this club, and then I want to prove people wrong.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_05: I think everyone has an opinion with injuries before they even know what's what's really happening.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_05: And you know, Twitter nowadays, everyone's on their messaging and stuff like that, and I've seen loads of stuff about about me.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_05: So I kind of want to come back and prove them wrong a little bit and be like, Well, I've put my body through this so that I can play for your club essentially.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_05: It's not it's not just about me and my career, I'm doing it for you for this club as well.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, because that's the thing, isn't it?
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_03: And and and I guess it must be really hard when you see things like that because again, it comes from a place of of no knowledge, so people would just say, ah, he's using a wage, he's taking a wage, he's been he's been here two years, he's not played, you know, that could have been spent on X the next.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, but why would anyone want to do that?
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_05: If they're a footballer, the only thing you want to do is play football.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_05: You see what I mean?
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, yeah.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_05: You'd play football for a teller if you could, you know what I mean?
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_05: Like, I'm not gonna sit here and um well, I just don't think I don't think them opinions that they're just off there, like not having the knowledge.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_03: You mentioned your mum and and sort of asking you about well-being and saying do you just kind of really want to do that?
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_03: Do you when when you went back to her and said what you just said that it's unwavering, isn't it, with you?
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_03: Like I I've heard I've had conversations with people who've who've had injuries towards the end of their career and they're they're thinking about you know potentially 20 years down the line or 10 years down the line, and they're sort of um in and are in about it.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_03: I've never heard you once ever say, Oh, I don't know when I can do this.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_05: No, I would never be like that.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_05: I've always like like you know, I would love football and I just want to do well, and I've got ambitions for myself, so I want to be able to hit them at what at some point.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_05: So I don't think my mentality will ever change.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_05: Um well, now that I'm getting closer to the end of my contract here, I have thought, well, I might be out of a club at the end of this season, so I have thought about other things, but my main goal will always be football.
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_05: So even if my contract comes to the at the end here, and I'm not being I'm not being able to get uh another contract here, I'll still be playing football week in, week out to try and carry that on.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_03: How how is that that nine months then in terms of those those obstacles, those setbacks that you you have during that period of time?
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_03: Because obviously, when you hear that you're gonna be out for that long, that's slightly different to the first one, right?
• 27:35
  SPEAKER_03: In terms of the length.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_03: So, how how do you get your head around that?
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_03: And and also along that journey, you know, how did you deal with the things that were thrown at you?
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_05: I think getting my head around it was to try and aim just to be back on the pitch and feeling good.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_05: I feel like my my whole thing with the injury now is I just want to be able to run around.
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_05: That would be my main goal first.
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_05: Football can come next.
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_05: It's just being able to run around with my with my son, or if I don't know, I don't know, say run there and I can just do it without pain.
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_05: Do you know what I mean?
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_05: That's my main goal at the moment.
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_05: I think when I heard about the nine months, it was kind of you you do it month by month.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_05: So when I first had the surgery, you don't really do much for the first six weeks, you're in a leg brace, you're sleeping a leg brace, you can't do anything.
• 28:21
  SPEAKER_05: Do you know what I mean?
• 28:21
  SPEAKER_05: You're on crutches for six weeks, so you get through that, and then you get to start walking again, you learn how to walk, and then you it's just little goals.
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_05: And I think every couple weeks you set yourself, you know what's coming in your plan.
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_05: So you kind of you look forward to the little things because even though football's so far away, the little things of being able to get back to walk or being able to get back to run or being able to jump, they're massive, they're massive accomplishments on the journey.
• 28:48
  SPEAKER_05: So I think that's what helped me through it all.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_02: That's hard, isn't it?
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_02: When you're like you're an athlete and you sprint and you run and you change direction and you're in challenges and all those things, and then this you said there, you have to learn to walk again, you have to learn to run again.
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_02: And this is again for supporters to understand, like that's hard work.
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_02: Like I did it when I ruptured my Achilles, like I had to learn to walk, put like properly walk again, and then you have to learn to run, and those are those are big things that you take them for granted.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_02: And then when they're taken away from you, yeah, and then having to retrain yourself to do that, they said like people only see oh he's injured, he's he's injured.
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_02: But again, these things are so important that like they understand that you've got you're putting your body on the line, you have to do you're doing all these things again, and say your attitude's so great because you still want to play, you're not just kind of like oh I'm done, I'm just gonna get pick up my money and retire.
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_02: You're like you're still you're focusing on that, and I think that's again, people don't get to see you for for you on the pitch, but they they need to see you as a person and what you're actually doing and trying to trying to make yourself fit to play.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_03: Do you know it's mad as well that when you talk about things like learning to walk and being able to sleep?
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_03: Like I can only go on my own personal experience, and obviously, as you know, I didn't reach a very good level in football, but I did this about my elbow quite a few times when I was a kid.
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_03: Just those first couple of days of being able to sleep with a sling is impossible.
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_03: So when you're having a major operation and you come around and then you've got to deal with getting a position of sleep, I can't imagine how do you sleep?
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_03: I don't I don't understand leg breaks.
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_03: How do you get into a position whereby you can sleep?
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_05: Did you sleep?
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_05: That's all you can do.
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_05: You can't move.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_05: That's all you can do.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_05: And I remember my leg, it looked like I was elephant man.
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_05: It was like this, it was like this red, everything, like it's just it do well.
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_05: You just you get obviously loads of pills, so you feel alright for the first two weeks, and then like you you think, oh, I feel alright.
• 30:41
  SPEAKER_05: You might put your foot down, you're like, oh my god, that's that's unbelievable pain.
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_03: That's the thing is like sometimes you wake up the next morning and you just forget.
• 30:47
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, like you forget you you had a any kind of challenge going on, you're like you just try and count as normal, and then suddenly you realise, hang on a second, I can't I can't do that, right?
• 30:56
  SPEAKER_03: So those things that I suppose that even those little tiny simple things that we all take for granted, you've got to get your head down that as well, right?
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, so like for me, I've got massive scars on my shins, right?
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_05: So for the first I don't know, four weeks whilst I'm healing, I can't take a shower unless I've got a massive bag on.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_05: Do you know what I mean?
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_05: Like, I guess you've never experienced that.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_05: Do you know what I mean?
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_05: I have to get a I've got a seat to go in my shower, or I'm hopping around, you know what I mean?
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_05: So it's just them little things, as soon as you can tick them off, and you know you've got rid of that, it then like gives you a bit more of a jump to the next thing you can get to.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_02: I've got a wheelie chair, Anna used to give me a wheelie chair in a backpack, and she'd push me around the house like so I could get that I could get to places, and if I needed anything, it'd be in the backpack and I'd take it out of the backpack and use it.
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_03: Honestly, it's a slightly different world, I don't understand it.
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_03: Anyway, we'll carry on this conversation in part three of posture and filtered.
• 31:49
  SPEAKER_00: Tickets in our own self for our third round Carabao Cup tie against Barnsley at home on Tuesday, the 15th of September.
• 31:56
  SPEAKER_03: Well, welcome back to part three of Posture and Filtered.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_03: Myself, Craig Mikhail Smith, and our guest Rio Adobe C.
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_03: I've been learning how you sleep winner and all kinds of things in this episode and taking for granted things that I do every day.
• 32:08
  SPEAKER_03: But Rio has obviously been through been through everything.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_03: And we were just talking sort of off-camera there that obviously when you have a serious injury on one side, inevitably it's going to affect the other because the other's taking taking the brunt.
• 32:20
  SPEAKER_03: So, when did you find out what was going on with with your left side?
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_05: So, when I was coming back from my right side about uh December time uh 2025, it would be.
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_05: So, last year, I felt fine on the pitch, I felt really, really good at that stage, but before that, maybe six months into my right knee, I was out on the pitch and I was limping around, like trying to run but limping.
• 32:47
  SPEAKER_05: So I thought my right leg was I ended up overcompensating a lot on my left, and that ended up over time being on the pitch and stuff, taking the brunt for things, and ended up the left knee ended up going.
• 33:02
  SPEAKER_03: So at that point, I I I guess because you've gone through it and knowing what was required on the right hand side, you you took the the the tougher option for the second.
• 33:11
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, so so I went for the first surgery, I had that done on my left side as well, and as I was in surgery, um after surgery, the surgeon came to me and was basically saying you're at high risk of it happening again.
• 33:24
  SPEAKER_05: Um, because essentially I've got high high-ish kneecaps and that causes more friction.
• 33:30
  SPEAKER_05: So then when he was so when he said to me, 'Oh, you've you're at high risk of it happening again,' I was thinking again of my career and football-wise, and I kind of just took the brunt and said it's probably better if I was to get the big surgery done as well.
• 33:43
  SPEAKER_05: Because where I was at the time after the first one, he said, If you want, if you want to get back with no problems, you'd probably have to take the same amount of time anyway off the pitch.
• 33:54
  SPEAKER_05: It wouldn't just be four months like the first one was, it would have been like a six-seven-month one.
• 33:58
  SPEAKER_05: So I was just saying there's no point me doing that, and then being at a stage of it might happen again, even if it was to heal well, it might happen again six months down the line, and then I'm in a bad place.
• 34:09
  SPEAKER_05: So I I took the brunt of I had to make a big decision really and say I'll have the big surgery done a month after, so that when I eventually come back on the pitch, I'll be everything that I could have had done has been done, and hopefully I'll be absolutely sweet.
• 34:24
  SPEAKER_03: Because that's the thing, is when you're then in a position where you've given yourself every opportunity, haven't you?
• 34:29
  SPEAKER_03: You've not sort of said, Okay, well, I'm in an R and about that, you've said okay, do it.
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_02: It's also a big uh like thing to do because it's like you say you could have done the one and done maybe four to six months, and then to try and just get back to play.
• 34:43
  SPEAKER_02: So it's it takes a lot to actually then sit down and go, because obviously if they're saying it's another big surgery, to then say to yourself, right, I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna get this done, and I'm gonna come back from it.
• 34:53
  SPEAKER_02: So again, it's like that's takes tremendous like confidence in yourself and belief that you like that you can then come back from that.
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_02: So like I applaud you for like to taking that option because I think most players would have gone, like I've done this on this side, I just want to get see if I can get back.
• 35:09
  SPEAKER_02: So that that's like that's a real big belief in yourself that you just not want to do the childcare duty, was that the idea said too risky?
• 35:18
  SPEAKER_03: Sorry, um possible.
• 35:22
  SPEAKER_03: I mean we we talked about that and and talked about it to Harry actually when um uh when we were talking about when he had his his his minor injury in comparative terms here and the and the thoughts that go through your head and how important family's suddenly become in that journey.
• 35:36
  SPEAKER_03: You said Craig, didn't you obviously you had a child at the time when you were injured?
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_03: And did did that give you not not a focus in terms of the rehab, but also a focus away from the rehab?
• 35:47
  SPEAKER_03: Um and and also how did how did you kind of communicate that with your missus and say what you can and can't do in terms of the those moments with your child that obviously you you can have them climbing all over you, sure.
• 35:59
  SPEAKER_05: Well, I think the baby he was born in August, so at that point I was on the pitch, I was struggling, but I was on the pitch, I was able to move around.
• 36:08
  SPEAKER_05: So from then till December it was alright, I was obviously helping with everything, but then obviously having to get the news of having to have surgery, it kind of well I think it helps, it helps you because you kind of have to do it anyway.
• 36:22
  SPEAKER_05: So obviously the first two, three weeks I'm I can't do much, but I'm trying to help out as much as possible, so it kind of it kind of gets you out of bed.
• 36:31
  SPEAKER_05: Whereas I feel like when I didn't have the baby, I would just lie in bed all the whole time, and it kind of makes your muscles deteriorate even more.
• 36:38
  SPEAKER_05: Whereas having the baby crawling around and kind of having to change nappies and get up and doing stuff, it kind of helps you one mentally to like kind of say, well, you've got to kind of get up and do stuff, and also it helps your muscles kind of not deteriorate as much because you're having to at least walk around, or even though as an embrace, like do more stuff than I would have done if I if he wasn't around.
• 37:00
  SPEAKER_05: And I think having the baby, like you said, off off away from football, it just helps you switch off way more.
• 37:06
  SPEAKER_05: Like I used to I remember like when I first did my right side and stuff, going home and just you're constantly thinking about it, constant, constant, constant.
• 37:14
  SPEAKER_05: Whereas now I go home and I see him and stuff like it as soon as I'm home, it's dad mode now.
• 37:19
  SPEAKER_05: Do you know what I mean?
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_05: It takes it away, so it makes it a lot easier, I think, to then have the the focus and the energy to then put it all into football when I'm at football, and then I can switch off when I'm not there.
• 37:31
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I think that's that's exactly like how it was for me.
• 37:34
  SPEAKER_02: It's like that that grind hard here, and then you say if it didn't have that kind of the family there, there is it's just you think of it that you overplay it, like what could I done?
• 37:44
  SPEAKER_02: Why why is this happening?
• 37:45
  SPEAKER_02: Why is this happening to me?
• 37:46
  SPEAKER_02: Like, what can I do?
• 37:46
  SPEAKER_02: So it's great to have that.
• 37:48
  SPEAKER_02: And then is there anything else like you did outside of football that you felt was was good for you that helped you like studying or well, I'm massively in my into my cars to be honest.
• 37:58
  SPEAKER_05: So um I've been look well, I've been looking recently about doing a mechanics course just on the side, but not well for me, me and the missus, we do loads of stuff anyway, so I feel like there wasn't a specific thing that I used to do, but spending time with her or spending time with the baby and going and doing things, it just helps you switch off.
• 38:19
  SPEAKER_05: There wasn't really a specific thing that I'd go and do.
• 38:21
  SPEAKER_05: I like going on walks, I like doing just normal people stuff, going to cinema.
• 38:25
  SPEAKER_05: I used to, I don't know if you guys know, but you can get like a monthly subscription for Odeon, and I used to go to every film.
• 38:31
  SPEAKER_05: I'm not even joking.
• 38:33
  SPEAKER_05: I used to go to every film for years.
• 38:35
  SPEAKER_03: Um only recently now I've not been because of the baby, but you are the complete opposite to Harry Ashfield because we spoke to him when he joined, and he's never been to the cinema.
• 38:44
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, so I'm not listening I'm not someone who's a movie goer all the time, but it's not because I don't have the attention span, it's just I you know it's just not something that appeals as as much as anything else.
• 38:57
  SPEAKER_03: But to say you've never been to the cinema, I've been my boy, isn't it?
• 39:00
  SPEAKER_03: But equally, I suppose it doesn't really blow my mind that somebody would would do what you've done.
• 39:04
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, when I when I well I moved out of my mum's house quite early, I moved out at 18, 19, so I moved into crew on my own in a house show.
• 39:13
  SPEAKER_05: And once you've done it when you when you're young and you haven't got anything else on, you do training, yeah, and you kind of got nothing else to do.
• 39:19
  SPEAKER_05: So I was like, I need a hobby, need a hobby.
• 39:21
  SPEAKER_05: Anyway, I'm telling you, for four straight years, I don't think I missed one or two films.
• 39:26
  SPEAKER_05: I think I went, I I think I went every other day.
• 39:29
  SPEAKER_06: I'm not even joking, yeah.
• 39:30
  SPEAKER_05: What was the best film you watched then?
• 39:34
  SPEAKER_05: I used to have a list, I used to have a list, yeah.
• 39:36
  SPEAKER_05: I actually did.
• 39:37
  SPEAKER_05: I used to have a list, but I couldn't tell you now.
• 39:38
  SPEAKER_05: There's been too many.
• 39:39
  SPEAKER_03: We know, we know, we're sending to do reviews.
• 39:41
  SPEAKER_03: Um you mentioned family, and and I always find that when when you're talking about something serious like you've been through, does it make you appreciate the people around you more because obviously the sacrifices had to make, but also I'd imagine that as much as we sit here and you're you're such a positive person, I can imagine you've you've been moody at times, right?
• 39:59
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, definitely.
• 40:00
  SPEAKER_03: And and you realise just how special they are.
• 40:03
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, definitely.
• 40:04
  SPEAKER_05: I think I'm very grateful for my missus, especially.
• 40:06
  SPEAKER_05: She's she moved down here from Liverpool when I moved.
• 40:09
  SPEAKER_05: So for her to even do that, because obviously we were young at the time.
• 40:12
  SPEAKER_05: Um, I can only say thank you for her to that.
• 40:16
  SPEAKER_05: And I think she she's truly the only person that knows what I've been through because she sees it every single day.
• 40:22
  SPEAKER_05: So um, and she knows what's gone well, what's not gone well.
• 40:27
  SPEAKER_05: She probably thinks at some point I might have been in a bad place, but I don't think I've for me I'm quite good at not taking it home.
• 40:36
  SPEAKER_05: So obviously I will be moody, and I think that's very normal to be, and for her to be able to put up with me as well is is a hat off to her.
• 40:45
  SPEAKER_03: When you look back on on the journey you you've kind of been on, do you do you see changes in yourself in in in terms of that resilience, or do you think because you were of that mindset anyway, all this has really been has been a test you passed?
• 41:00
  SPEAKER_05: Um I think I've definitely changed in not putting as much stress on myself.
• 41:08
  SPEAKER_05: Uh I feel like when we would talk about my first injury, you have so much stress about getting back.
• 41:13
  SPEAKER_05: Whereas I think the second time around my left side, I've kind of took my stress away.
• 41:19
  SPEAKER_05: Because I because I I already knew I've been out for so long.
• 41:22
  SPEAKER_05: I feel like this time I've been like a bit more I'll get back when I get back.
• 41:27
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 41:27
  SPEAKER_05: I'll still put in the the effort like I have been doing, but at the end of the day, my he my body can only heal at its own rate, yeah.
• 41:34
  SPEAKER_05: And my body will heal when it wants to heal.
• 41:37
  SPEAKER_05: So I think mentally wise it's always been the same, but I've been able to put a less pressure on myself this second time around.
• 41:47
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's really interesting you say that because uh there's a lot of um demand, I think, from from outside noise about wanting to know how long someone's out for.
• 41:56
  SPEAKER_03: And I often find, and obviously I've worked with nearly 20 odd managers in my long, illustrious time here, and they all deal with things differently, right?
• 42:04
  SPEAKER_03: And and you always asked in press conferences, you know, how long is he out for?
• 42:08
  SPEAKER_03: And some managers will say two weeks, and then immediately as a player, you're thinking, right, I've got me back in two weeks, right?
• 42:15
  SPEAKER_03: So I I I guess it must help as a player when a manager is less forthcoming on putting deadlines on stuff, right?
• 42:21
  SPEAKER_03: Because then I always find that with expectation and and if you're given a target of internally, you know you've got me back in a certain time, but that doesn't become public, then there's no there's no pressure or admittance of any kind of failure attached to it if you're not come back, right?
• 42:37
  SPEAKER_03: So I guess for you it must be brilliant in a way whereby you know yourself when you're ready and you can tell others when you're ready, rather than us saying he's gonna be back in six, nine, whatever it might be.
• 42:48
  SPEAKER_05: I think, yeah, definitely.
• 42:49
  SPEAKER_03: Um in my opinion, and this is my opinion only, it's none of business, really, right?
• 42:55
  SPEAKER_05: No, not at all, but they obviously want to see the player that they that they signed.
• 42:59
  SPEAKER_05: So everyone's gonna want to know when when I'm coming back.
• 43:02
  SPEAKER_05: I feel I feel like it's harder when you don't know yourself.
• 43:07
  SPEAKER_05: Like now I know there's a there's a end of the uh well like at the end of the tunnel, so I can be like to fans, oh I might be a couple months or so, but at the start of it, especially after what my right side had done, and fans are coming up to me, oh when you're gonna be back when you're back.
• 43:20
  SPEAKER_05: I don't even know myself.
• 43:21
  SPEAKER_05: So it's hard and that's it.
• 43:24
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, exactly.
• 43:24
  SPEAKER_05: Do you know what I mean?
• 43:25
  SPEAKER_05: So I feel like that bit's hard, but to say when there's not a set goal, it definitely it works, it ties itself in with also taking the pressure off of me a little bit.
• 43:37
  SPEAKER_03: Is it difficult as well?
• 43:38
  SPEAKER_03: And and I suppose it's the nature of the beast and nature of football these days that obviously the new managers oh sorry new manager he's been a while now, but Luke's obviously hasn't seen you play, has he?
• 43:48
  SPEAKER_03: So around the training round that must be really difficult.
• 43:51
  SPEAKER_03: And speaking to him, he he he's obviously someone who um likes the human element.
• 43:57
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, he he he talks about the human all of the time.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_03: And he said to me that it's a it's an incredible character that you've shown.
• 44:04
  SPEAKER_03: And and I guess from from your point of view, it's it's well an end, isn't it?
• 44:08
  SPEAKER_03: It's like you just you just want to show him that this is what they bought before.
• 44:13
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, definitely.
• 44:13
  SPEAKER_05: I think I played against him once when he was at Notts.
• 44:17
  SPEAKER_05: Uh I think we won three one actually away at their place, but not too sure.
• 44:21
  SPEAKER_06: Um feeling.
• 44:23
  SPEAKER_05: But um Yeah, he he we've had conversations here and there.
• 44:27
  SPEAKER_05: Um I think he leaves me to it kind of thing, which I would prefer.
• 44:32
  SPEAKER_05: Uh but yeah, um it's been good.
• 44:36
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 44:37
  SPEAKER_03: So so now obviously as as well we're sort of sitting here now, you you obviously continuing to to do the rehab.
• 44:44
  SPEAKER_03: Um as you as you kind of reflect on everything that we've tried to to put across in this in this podcast.
• 44:50
  SPEAKER_03: It's I suppose it's it's it's just getting it out there that people understand how much you've put your body through, how much work you've done.
• 45:00
  SPEAKER_03: Not oh well, I don't know, I don't I've never seen you miss a day off.
• 45:03
  SPEAKER_03: I'd imagine you're gonna tell me you've been in every every single day, and that that in itself needs to be applauded because there's so many easy ways out, right, when you do the rehab.
• 45:12
  SPEAKER_03: Um and you could just say, I don't feel like it today, and people would be like, Okay, no problem.
• 45:16
  SPEAKER_03: But you're you're always in.
• 45:17
  SPEAKER_03: Are you are you are you proud of yourself in terms of that commitment that you've put to yourself and and to others and and to to show that you know you you've really given yourself the best chance?
• 45:29
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, I'd be proud when I'm back on the pitch to me.
• 45:32
  SPEAKER_05: I mean you'd say that.
• 45:33
  SPEAKER_03: And that's the thing, is that I mean Greg are probably sitting there going, I mean I'm I'm kind of in awe, really.
• 45:38
  SPEAKER_03: And that's not not blown smoke, it's it's genuine.
• 45:41
  SPEAKER_03: I've I've been here a long time, I've seen players at the other end, you've played for players I'm sure that wouldn't have gone through the same uh commitment and and and effort that Rio has gone through.
• 45:50
  SPEAKER_03: Um but even then I knew you wouldn't say you're proud of yourself now because you you you've not at the end, right?
• 45:55
  SPEAKER_05: No, not at all.
• 45:56
  SPEAKER_05: So I'll oh yeah, I'll be proud when I'm on the pitch.
• 45:59
  SPEAKER_05: When the job's completed and I'm and I feel good.
• 46:02
  SPEAKER_05: I'll be yeah.
• 46:03
  SPEAKER_05: I'm proud, obviously I'm proud of what I've gone through, definitely.
• 46:06
  SPEAKER_05: Um I feel like a lot of people don't know what I have gone through, and I feel like opinions are made when they don't know what's been s what's what's been uh what's happened.
• 46:16
  SPEAKER_05: So I'll yeah, back to your question.
• 46:18
  SPEAKER_05: I'll be proud when I get back on the pitch.
• 46:21
  SPEAKER_02: I think you should be absolutely like proper proud of yourself to say to go through I w I've went through a few major injuries myself, so I'd I totally understand where you've been and how hard it is like to to show up every day to put your all in every day, not knowing if you are gonna play again.
• 46:38
  SPEAKER_02: It's it's like it takes some some doing to get up and show and show your best side every day.
• 46:44
  SPEAKER_02: So I think like whether you get back on the pitch, I hope you do, and I hope you all goes really well.
• 46:49
  SPEAKER_02: But everything you've done up to this point, like, because this is just a small part of life, is obviously a bigger thing outside of it.
• 46:55
  SPEAKER_02: So what you've you've done here, the the standard you've set yourself, like you'll whatever you decide to do after this, you're like you'll absolutely fly because you've you've you've got that dedication and that desire to to see whatever it ever happens through.
• 47:08
  SPEAKER_02: So that be proud of yourself now, really, really proud of yourself.
• 47:11
  SPEAKER_03: Of course, the way to end it really is um when you do when you reflect it 20 years down the line as you're a cinema buff, you've got your own cinema room and watching every film under the sun.
• 47:23
  SPEAKER_03: Or was it cars as well?
• 47:24
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, cars, yeah.
• 47:25
  SPEAKER_03: Um well we'll do a bit of a bonus conversation after this, so I'm I'm really intrigued to show a different side of you as well.
• 47:31
  SPEAKER_03: But um, on behalf of on behalf of the podcast, thank you for coming on and sharing your story.
• 47:36
  SPEAKER_03: I know it's sometimes difficult to kind of open up about about different things, so I really appreciate you doing so.
• 47:41
  SPEAKER_03: I hope we've enjoyed the podcast, then we'll be back for episode four shortly.
• 47:45
  SPEAKER_03: If you go to Posh Plus, you can watch an extended little chat with Rio Andy BC and of course Graven Cow Smith.
• 47:52
  SPEAKER_03: Um, knowledge-related, this is all about his obsession um with cards and films, as we learned in the episode.