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Transcript

Whackhead Prank: Senseless survey – what's the best thing about being a penguin? · Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: It's a little bit ridiculous, a little bit silly this morning,
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: but also very important as well, the sense of silver
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: as it always is solving the world's problems one question
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: at a time. Okay, okay, here it is. Hello, Good morning, ma'am.
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: How are you well?
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: Thank you, ma'am.
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: I'm calling you from the Census Bureau. I need to
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: ask you a couple questions for your country. It Let
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: me take about ten seconds.
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: Okay, can you answer me?
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: This is washing a spoon in the sink the easiest
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: way to have a surprise wet t shirt contest. No, ma'am,
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: is that your biological clock ticking or just your restless
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: eggs syndrome acting up put down?
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: I didn't have that problem yet.
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: Do you think that ballerinas should be slightly taller so
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: that they don't have to stand on their tiptoes all
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: the time?
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: Maybe?
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: Perhaps? Yes? Do you think it's strange that why so
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: many pigs get killed at the exact moment they bite
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: an apple? Wow? Yes? Is the best thing about being
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: a penguin it's being able to attend formal events naked. Yes.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: And is the worst thing about being a penguin is
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: that after you have an argument, you'll try to waddle
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: away angrily but still look adorably cute. Yes, ma'am, can
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: you just close your eyes for a second. Okay, are
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: your eyes closed? Yes?
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: Now?
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: Can you just imagine giant reptiles for me? Okay? Now,
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: can you just imagine fire breathing giant reptiles? Yeah? Okay,
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: Now can you imagine dragons? That was a joke or something? No, ma'am,
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: it's not a joke. But but if you want a joke,
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: I'll give you a joke.
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: Knock knock, Britney Spears, Bridney Scars, who knock knock?
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: Oops? I did it again. That's not too bad, Okay, ma'am.
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: I'll let you go now, I'm out. I taptat. I
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: can't believe you had to say goodbye to her. She
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: was enjoying you way too much. It's wow. I think
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: the shame just overcome. After I did that, knocked her,
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: I was like, no, no, this is not me. I'm
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: finishing Nextflix. This is not me. I'm out. I'm done
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: for today. It's not the quality I expect of myself.