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Xabi Daura standup comedy · Comedy Central Stand-Up

• 0:02
  Comedy Central Podcast. Well, that' s it. Let' s go?
• 0:19
  Let' s go? Let' s go? Let' s go?
• 0:19
  Let' s go? Let' s go? Come on today on
• 0:25
  time. You can do some Fray Mercury to warm up. Come on,
• 0:34
  hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
• 0:42
  hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
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  hey, hey, hey, hey. All right, all right. There,
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  that' s the guy I' m cool with. This is the
• 0:50
  secret to the success of Famercy' s entire career. I didn' t
• 0:53
  have anything else. Alive, duck cover, but and come a genius.
• 0:58
  I don' t know if you' ve seen the Bohemian rap movie Od,
• 1:00
  which has no argument. It' s like a movie that' s
• 1:03
  nothing. It' s framer grey there is, come on Lopeta, peta,
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  peta Lopeta and it' s already going to fuck up. He'
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  s a genius. There' s no conflict in the movie that the guy
• 1:11
  doubts about. I don' t know if you control the song under Preshan
• 1:23
  that he did with David Bowe. If you look at the lyrics of the
• 1:29
  song, as I tell you, the part of Damvip Bobby is like poetry,
• 1:34
  it has reflections. Freddy Mercury' s part is on. Find him
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  if you don' t believe Framer' s part. I want with two
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  balls is People and Streets, give ad irar People and Streets, Dara look
• 1:53
  and I' m going to have dinner out there now and if I fixed
• 1:59
  everything. So, Freddy fixed everything but one thing. When she got the
• 2:09
  analytics that looked at her and said ibarian barujíbaros. He eats you up,
• 2:23
  dear Gray, you ate a bad dick, poor man, he ate you
• 2:38
  a bad dick, buddy. This happens sometimes the move. Are there any
• 2:44
  deaf people here? Are there any deaf people? There' s some deaf
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  or deaf. There' s someone who' s got ears in airplane mode.
• 2:54
  I ask because I' m interested in the world of deaf subtitles and
• 3:00
  sometimes I get film subtitled and sometimes it happens that the subtitles are adapted for
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  deaf people and it' s this kind of subtitles that makes clear to you
• 3:10
  things that are ringing but that aren' t seen or. For example,
• 3:13
  in parentheses it puts you start the engine, in parentheses it puts laughter.
• 3:23
  One day I saw that putting in parentheses sounds Fireworks of katy Perry that I
• 3:32
  put myself in the skin of the deaf of birth saying and well and bro
• 3:43
  I know perfectly well how faith theme sounds. Yes, sir Thank you,
• 3:50
  thank you for the clarification. Subtitle sounds in my head already fire Ward from
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  akaty Perry. Haven' t I heard it in my life is as useless
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  as the people who put their dreams on the rearview mirror of the car?
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  I don' t know if you control that there' s a lot of
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  people, a huge number of people who get caught up in tiny dreams in
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  the back of the car? What do I say that' s in case
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  you fall asleep at the wheel, he hit a shithole and killed himself,
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  but he had a dream right there. He died well there with his dream
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  trapped as an Indian. It' s as useless as the rock that says
• 4:34
  you can' t put plants in the bedroom because they steal your oxygen.
• 4:41
  That' s what happens to you, too You lived with that fear.
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  You saw with the fear of Ebrie. That' s where you don'
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  t have a bunch of plants in your bedroom and you' re like I
• 4:54
  don' t know how I' m still alive? I don' t
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  know how I' m still alive? Well, yes, my girlfriend is
• 4:59
  one of these people who won' t let me put plants in the bedroom
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  because she says she' s gonna steal our oxygen. And I tell him
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  and what do you think you do every night with your nose and mouth and
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  your eyeball, that that steals a lot of oxygen. I' m on
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  a day where I have more friends with kids than no kids, and then
• 5:29
  it' s starting to sound like a rumor of good when. And my
• 5:33
  girlfriend if she says good, because I' d like to, I'
• 5:38
  d be cool if we had a baby, the same person who doesn'
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  t want plants in the room, uh, look at the contradiction of life.
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  He says yes, well, I' d like you to have a
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  baby and I really don' t see it yet. I don' t
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  see myself being a father unless I am. The only way to be a
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  parent I see would be with the prospect of having three children and naming them
• 6:01
  Samuel L and Jackson. I' ve got it all figured out. I
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  ' m thinking about how to think about my girlfriend. The first one would
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  tell him we are going to put Samuel, who is a normal, beautiful
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  man, is in the Bible. I think the second one would be more
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  of a fighter. This one I think we should call him l. I
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  ' d say good, it' s worth as much for the boy as
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  it is for the girl, but the third one would fall by its own
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  weight. It' d be like honey. We' re about to be
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  Samuel L' s parents. Jackson damn it, we' d have to
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  be crazy not to call this kid Jackson. You have anecdotes about confinement.
• 6:54
  Everyone has their anecdotes about confinement. I' m going to count mine at
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  the confines. It happened to me that one day I was on my cell
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  phone, I kept it in my pocket and you kept it unblocked. And
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  if you don' t realize it, I' m going to block it.
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  And without wanting to take a picture and unintentionally it was posted to me
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  on Instagram and unintentionally generated a super viral anti- racist movement in order to
• 7:25
  fuck up. This guy got it. This guy got it, yes,
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  sir. I share that too. Black screen, black screen, yes,
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  sir. I' m against racism. I was unwittingly written to the Tuntun.
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  And it turns out that means black list matter, shit and speaking of
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  confinement. The confinement has affected many small businesses or large businesses, even which
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  have been greatly affected. And I don' t like that. I have
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  suffered a lot from the businesses that have been put away by the pandemic.
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  The one who' s known me the worst. The one I' ve
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  seen that has suffered the most with difference is hugs, free, quiet,
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  thank you, no, not that I' m suffering. I' m
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  suffering, I' m sorry I' m suffering. He' s taken
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  away, they' ve taken away the part, as well as with more
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  chicha than the business, which were the hugs already before. He' ll
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  make a hard business to defend. For free, I have a colleague who
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  hired him for free. He tells me I' ve been hired to do
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  free. That' s cool, they pay well, well, it'
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  s free. I think they do a lot of face in the name of
• 8:58
  the business itself and yes right now hug that Gracis is up to Isis,
• 9:01
  that is right now people going out on the street, now to see,
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  now zalaca Free like you say crazy, you' re going to kill all
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  the old, fucking crazy girls all n I' m gorgeous. I'
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  m more global if local acc remember this. I don' t know if
• 9:24
  you' ve seen news of a kid who woke up from a coma that
• 9:28
  he entered in January of two thousand and twenty, that is. Whatever it
• 9:33
  is, he' s woken up now and he' s over the whole
• 9:37
  move, he' s been blowing it off that I imagine this kid a
• 9:43
  little bit like seeing weird people like Hostia. But what happened, that you
• 9:46
  ' re all as much as changed. I' m gonna catch up.
• 9:50
  It gets there Twitter, such come Twitter January oh aunt that it has killed
• 9:56
  itself. Coby Brian' s done I know why I' m all so
• 10:00
  low. Fuckin' worst year ever. They' re mataco and braya.
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  Gentlemen, and finally, I wanted to rescue another real news. It'
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  s news of finding out there' s an African tribe. I don'
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  t know where a tributaries like little ones like they don' t have contact
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  with the rest of the world, who feed themselves only on cow' s
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  milk and blood, nothing more, they just eat and drink cow' s
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  milk and blood. They have four cows and they empty them every day.
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  It is already known to the extent not to kill them and they eat blood
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  and cow' s milk. They eat cow' s milk and blood,
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  and they eat cow' s blood for dessert. Also, if you want,
• 10:58
  you can go in there and do the experiment to see what happens.
• 11:01
  If you need a doughnut, they' re gonna eat it, they'
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  re gonna fuck him? Thank you very much. Thank you Thank you.