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"How To Build Your Character" by Neal Pollard · Cumberland Trace Church of Christ (Formerly Lehman Ave Church of Christ)

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His name was Isaac Sprecher.
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He was 18 years old when he caught a 31-pound, 8.4-ounce striped bass.
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He went up to a wildlife officer at McIntosh Lake over in Longmont, Colorado and said that
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he had caught that fish at McIntosh Lake and he asked, is this the state record?
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Wildlife officer looked into that and upon examination found out that indeed it was a
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state record and he got instant sportsman celebrity.
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A couple of days later he phoned the newspaper and said, I've got to confess, I actually
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caught this in a pond with catch and release rules and so it doesn't qualify for the state
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record.
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I lied.
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Well, his name was immediately removed from the game and fish record for the largest striped
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bass of its type caught in the state of Colorado.
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But he immediately found himself entered into another hall of fame and that's the hall of
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fame of character and conduct that's read by everybody.
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I think it's remarkable that a young man could have such a conviction of conscience that
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he would do something like this.
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I don't know about you but it doesn't really matter what age we are, it's very difficult
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for us to do the right thing.
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Sometimes we find ourselves in a situation to where it's hard for us and we look to the
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world to give us some idea of what is good character.
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And with that we realize that we can get a partially good definition of that and depending
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on their frame of reference they might say that good character involves commitment at
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least to some ideal, involves hard work, maybe sincerity.
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And yet invariably it's going to leave out some essential qualities of good character.
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You've got to go to the right source in order to find out about what kind of character is
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beneficial ultimately and in all things.
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The writer of Hebrews from which the Bible reading was done so well a moment ago has
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been teaching doctrine, he's been making a point, he's been sharing information that's
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essential.
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And throughout most of that letter that's what he's been talking about.
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And if you boil it all down to three words it's the words you have in front of you, that
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Jesus is better.
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And he sets about to establish how Jesus is better, he's better than the prophets, he's
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better than the angels, he's better than Moses, he's better than Joshua, he's better than
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the Old Testament priesthood, he's better than the Old Testament, he's better than the
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tabernacle, he's better than the animal sacrifices.
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The writer will go on to say that through Jesus we have better blood, we have better
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promises, we have better hope, we have better resurrection, we have better everything.
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And because of this the question is what are we supposed to do with this?
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And the last part of that letter, the last few chapters as we read it, and it's called
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a letter of exhortation, it's a sermon to encourage.
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He encourages them to take that information and what should it mean in our lives every
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day that Jesus is better.
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He says in the first place if Jesus is better then you ought to have an audacious faith
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that leads you to trust and obey, that's chapter 11.
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You ought to have perseverance and endurance no matter what you face, you ought to be holy,
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you ought to be reverent in your life, that's chapter 12.
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And then he says it ought to mean that you have a different, a better character if Jesus
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is better and you're following him, that's chapter 13.
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In fact if you look at chapter 13 there are a flurry of imperatives, that is commands,
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calls to action and obedience and if Jesus is better then the point is my life ought
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to look different.
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Again how is that going to play out in my daily life?
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As we look at Hebrews chapter 13 with this as a background, the writer is telling us
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how to build better character.
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Every day, no matter what stage of life we're in, it's what we're aiming at.
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We want to be the best version of ourselves and we've got to go to the right source if
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we're going to find out what that means.
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And there's no better place I can think of than Hebrews chapter 13.
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How can we build our character as we study this text?
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The first thing he says is if you want to build your character you've got to love others.
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Verse 1 through 3, this is a very fundamental principle.
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It's at the heart of the New Testament certainly, but I want you to notice that this love for
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others is a close at hand kind of love.
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In this text we're not talking about the love of the whole world like Jesus demonstrated
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and God did at the cross of Calvary.
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It's a more specific love.
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He says let brotherly love continue and do not forget to entertain, to show hospitality
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to strangers, knowing that some who have done so have entertained angels unaware.
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And remember those who are in prison as being in prison yourselves and those ill-treated
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as those who are also in the body.
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As you read verse 1 through 3, there is a particular love that we are called to that
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proves what kind of character we have.
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It was Burt Bacharach and Hal David who wrote the lyrics and the melody of the song and
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it was a song written at a critical time in American history.
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We were embroiled in the Vietnam wars and there were all the protests that were going
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on.
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We were a nation divided as we often are.
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And this song resonated in the hearts of people.
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It made its way into several movies.
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It's a part of the American pop culture and many sang it, but none sang it as well as
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she did.
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Dionne Warwick made this song live when she said what the world needs now is love, sweet
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love.
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It will never change.
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The world is an unloving place and it's looking for somebody to show them love and they're
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looking to us.
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But we're never going to properly be able to love the world if we don't first demonstrate
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this close to home.
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And so the Hebrews writer says to build your character, practice on the people that mean
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the most to God and that should mean the most to you.
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And so as we look at this love, we see that this love is first of all defined.
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He says it is brotherly.
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These are fellow believers in Christ.
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It is through our demonstration of this love that we make ourselves more connected to and
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more related to our father and our older brother Jesus.
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It is brotherly and it must continue.
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It's to endure even when it's difficult, even when it's unnatural.
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The scripture is saying through this definition that you have to love me when I'm unlikable
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and I'm unlovable and I'm to love you in those same circumstances.
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And while there is a requisite on us to make sure that we're not unlikable and not unlovable
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at our best, we're going to fail or we're going to fall in that.
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And so as he defines love, he says you got to let it continue even when it's your inclination
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not to.
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And so Paul says, as to the love of brethren, you have no need that anyone should write
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you for you yourselves are taught of God to love one another and you have done well with
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the brethren in Macedonia, but I beseech you, brethren, to excel still more.
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First Thessalonians chapter four and verse nine, he defines it.
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Then this love is also distinct.
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It is demonstrable.
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You can see it.
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Here the Hebrews writer says something that's interesting and fascinating.
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And Hiram talked about this as we talked about angels.
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In that second verse, he says that show hospitality to one another.
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That's how you love.
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You open your heart.
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You open your homes.
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You open your ears to others and what's going on in their lives.
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But he says you do this realizing that some in the past have entertained angels unaware.
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What does that mean?
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Well, I believe what it means is that you can look back to history, and by the way,
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go back to chapter 11 and some of these folks are in that hall of fame of the individuals
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who are an example for us.
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And they did that.
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Hiram had no idea when they came to him in Genesis chapter 18 that these were angels.
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Lot had no idea in Genesis chapter 19.
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Gideon, when the angel of the Lord comes to him, at first is not aware of who it is in
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Judges chapter six.
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And Manoah, Samson's father, he didn't know, and yet he showed hospitality anyway.
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If angels are God's messengers, then when we show hospitality to those who are not necessarily
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close friends or extended family, but those that we don't know as well, then we're showing
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God love.
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It's also discerning.
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When we look at this love, it's demonstrated by compassion.
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Here the Hebrews writer says that there are people who are suffering because they're living
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out their faith.
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And if you have your eyes open and your hearts open, you'll show compassion to them knowing
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that you're all on a level playing field.
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We're going through different things.
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At different times in our lives, but all of us over a period of time are going through
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the same things.
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We're in the same body.
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We see and we observe in each other what's going on.
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And this should cause us to be sensitive, to have our eyes and our ears and our hearts
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open to one another.
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To be compassionate.
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To take the time that's involved in that in order for us to show love.
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And the thing is, when we do this, we're building our character.
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I wish I had time to go into 1 John chapter 3 and verse 10 where John says, in this the
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children of God and the children of the devil are made manifest.
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He that practices righteousness is of God, so is he that loves his brother.
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It's a character verse.
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That character is in what you know.
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And what you know in this verse is how important it is to love God, to love one another in
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order to know God.
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Character is what you are.
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And so the writer John says, it's your practice.
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What is your habit?
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What's ordinarily true of you?
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And character is also seen in who you are.
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Are you the child of God or are you the child of the devil?
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It's not something that we get to claim.
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Do you love your brother?
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Jesus says in John 13, 34, that love is a way that we're identified as his followers.
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But more than that, love, the love we have for each other, is a test of or a demonstration
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of our character.
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And so various writers say, through love, serve one another, Galatians 5 and verse 13.
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Through love, be patient toward one another, Ephesians chapter 4 and verse 2.
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Through love, serve the Lord, 1 Thessalonians chapter 1 and verse 3.
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Through love, be an example of what a believer looks like, 1 Timothy chapter 4 and verse
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12.
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And through love, forgive each other, 1 Peter chapter 4 and verse 8.
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Because Jesus is better, and we want to reflect him in our lives.
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The first thing we've got to do is to love others, and it's something that's always growing
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and increasing, or it should be.
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And if it's not, it's a reflection on where we are in that character development.
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But then second, and it really is a change of direction, unless you're looking a little
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closer, he goes from that to saying, you're going to build your character, be pure.
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In verse 4, he says, marriage is to be held in honor by all, and the marriage bed undefiled.
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But fornicators and adulterers, God will judge, Hebrews chapter 13 and verse 4.
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We have laid out for us a specific example, if we have the concept of brotherly love,
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where we love in the way that was just defined, and that's demonstrated, and that is discerning
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to what's going on, then the thing is, where is the closest relationship that we have on this earth?
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If you're married, it's not subjective.
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If you're married, the best way for you to practice brotherly love for the good of all
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is in your marriage.
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The world is looking on to see what kind of character we have, and that can be demonstrated,
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and we would love perhaps the picture to be of our time when we're together, but then
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there's the time in which we leave, and we're away from the assembly and the security of being together.
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And in the day by day, we're being seen.
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You ever had somebody catch you, and you didn't realize that they were watching you,
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and as soon as you realized you were being watched, you immediately changed the way that you were behaving?
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You ever gotten into an argument with your spouse, and it was getting pretty heated,
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and all of a sudden, somebody comes into view, and what happens?
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You change immediately.
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The Hebrews writer is saying, this is a character development issue.
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We have got to be pure, and how do we show our purity?
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There is a positive way, and there is a negative way.
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Let's deal with the positive first.
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The first is, do you hold your marriage in honor?
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If your character development is growing in the direction it should be, you must be developing
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honor in your heart for the institution of marriage.
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Do you hold up marriage as honorable?
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Think about that.
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It's not an automatic answer.
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In music, marriage is ignored.
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In memes and in media, music is insulted.
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And in movies, marriage is indicted as being far less than what you can have.
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Marriage is not held in honor in our society.
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But if the people who knew you and know you in your marriage, if they were to ask how
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you feel about your marriage, would they say you hold it in honor or not?
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As you think about how you would answer that, there are some questions to answer.
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First of all, how do you think about your spouse?
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How do you think about them?
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Luke 6 and verse 45 says that the good man, out of the good treasure of his heart, brings
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forth what is good.
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The evil man, out of the evil treasure of his heart, brings forth what is evil.
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But out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.
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When you think about your spouse, is it more likely the case that you're thinking good
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thoughts about them?
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That you're holding them up in honor in your heart?
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That as you think about them, you have respect?
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That you have a fondness and a longing for them?
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Or is it the case that more likely you're thinking thoughts of bitterness and resentment?
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And you're thinking thoughts of disrespect?
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As we think in our hearts, so are we.
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And how we think about our mate is going to materially impact how we feel about marriage.
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The Hebrews writer says to pass the Hebrews 13 for a test, hold up marriage as honorable
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in all.
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And the marriage bed is that which is undefiled.
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How do you talk about your spouse?
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As we just saw, the things that you're thinking in your mind, they make their way out of your
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lips in subtle ways and not so subtle ways.
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And scripture tells us that the wife is to respect her husband and the husband is to
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love his wife.
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And this is something that can be seen through the words that we speak.
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And how do you act towards your spouse?
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As I was preparing this lesson, it was remarkable to me, I came across this passage incidentally
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in Matthew chapter 5 and verse 44 where Jesus says, love your enemies and pray for your
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enemies.
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In Romans chapter 12 and verse 20, I saw that you are to be kind toward your enemies.
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And in Luke chapter 6 and verse 35, do good toward your enemies.
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If this is how God wants us to treat our enemies, how does he want us to treat the one that
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we promise to love and cherish for the rest of our lives?
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Does the way that we act toward our spouse show that we love them?
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Is it seen in the thoughts that we think and the words that we say and the things that
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we do?
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But then on the negative side of this, if we're going to be developing our character
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and being pure, we have got to avoid sexual sin.
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Do you avoid sexual sin?
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Now we think about that answer as well.
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From 1965 to 1974, 11% of all people reported living together with their spouse before marriage.
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In about 55 years, that study was done again and the number rose to 80%.
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Over 70% of Americans say that having sex outside of marriage or in addition to marriage
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is not wrong.
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And so we see the impact of the world's thinking with regard to sexual ethics, but we who are
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walking with Jesus are avoiding sexual immorality, certainly in the most obvious way, the way
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that Hebrews 13 and verse 4 brings it out for us, and that is we avoid fornication.
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That is sex before, outside of marriage.
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And we avoid adultery.
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That is being married to someone and then having relations with someone else.
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God holds up the marriage relationship for a man and a woman who are eligible to enter
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into that and gives the ground rules for that, Ephesians 5, 22-33, Matthew 19, 1-9.
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But if we don't fit in that mold or we're not there, then God expects us to curb those
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urges and to control ourselves.
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Yes, that it deals with the big stuff, but it also deals with what the world says is
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little stuff.
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We're going to watch the lust that we have in our hearts, Matthew 5, verse 28-32.
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We're going to avoid pornography.
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Ladies, if that's the written kind in graphic novels or if it's the visual kind, in flirtatious
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and suggestive speech, if we're developing the kind of character that God wants us to
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have, He says, be pure.
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Then third, if we're going to develop our character, we have got to be content.
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It seems like the Hebrews writer is jumping from track to track, but it's all about character.
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First we love, and the right kind of love puts the other person's interest first, and
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that certainly is most applicable to the place where we have the most influence and we spend
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the most time and we pour the most energy, and that's into marriage, as God would have
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it.
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But then there's the matter of contentment.
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He says that we're to keep our character free from the love of money and to be content with
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what we have, for He has said, I will never forsake you, nor will I leave you.
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So that we can say, the Lord is my helper.
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What shall I care?
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What can man do to me?
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Again, there's a negative and a positive side to this.
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To be content, the first thing He says is, do not love money.
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What's remarkable is that whenever something keeps making its way into the scripture, God
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says this is a basic human tendency that we fall into.
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In fact, Jesus wouldn't go very far in His teaching if you were to take Luke's word for
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it before He comes back to this subject of not letting money be what reigns and rules
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in our hearts.
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He says, beware and take heed against every form of greed or covetousness.
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For a person's life does not consist in the abundance of the things that he has, or other
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versions say, even if one has an abundance of things, that's not what life is all about.
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And we know that this is true, and when we're studying scripture, we acknowledge it, but
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it's very difficult as it plays out in our lives.
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And then you have the Apostle Paul coming along, and he says in 1 Timothy 6 and verse
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10 that the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil, which while some have pursued
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after it, they have wandered away from the faith and have pierced themselves through
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with many sorrows.
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The Bible says it doesn't matter where you are on the religious spectrum.
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You can be religious leaders like the Pharisees, Luke 16 and verse 14, or you can be irreligious
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people.
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2 Timothy 3 and verse 10, and be a lover of money.
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But Paul says, let not greed be found among you, Galatians 5 and verse 3.
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Put it to death, Colossians 3 and verse 5, escape from it, 1 Timothy 3 and verse 3.
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Now this is a heart issue.
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This is something that you and I individually have got to look into and see for ourselves
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and say, am I guilty of this?
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Because nobody else can read our hearts.
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But what they can do is they can weigh the decisions that we make, and they can look
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at our character, and it ought to be clear to everybody that we love God more than money.
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Jesus says there's the crux of it, Matthew 6, 24, no one can serve two masters.
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He'll either love the one and hate the other.
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He'll cling to the one and despise the other.
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You cannot serve God and wealth.
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Am I content?
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Well, the first question is, do I love money?
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I'm not, too.
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And do I trust God to provide?
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That's the positive side of this.
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We're to be content with what we have, knowing that God will never fail us.
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He'll not forsake us.
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I was reading a book by Dr. Rick Lawson, and he calls it hardwiring happiness, and he suggests
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that happiness is a matter of what's going on in the neurosenses, the synapses of the
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brain, that you can hardwire your happiness.
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If you'll take the things that happen, and you will do conscious things to build confidence
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and calm and contentment.
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But I suggest that it's more than chemistry, it's a matter of character.
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Here's what Scripture says, it says you've got to learn contentment.
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You don't just have the kind of brain that makes you content, you've got to work at it,
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Philippians 4 and verse 11.
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It is a discipline that we've got to master, 1 Timothy 6 and verse 8, and it is a commandment
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that we're called to obey, that's what he says here in Hebrews 13, 5 and 6.
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We're walking with Jesus every day, and it ought to show in the character that we are
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developing, and the Hebrews writer's helping us with that.
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Then he takes us to a fourth, and that is if you're developing your character in the
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right way, follow your leaders, verse 7 and 8.
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As we think about what he says there, he actually says it three times, look in verse 7, look
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in verse 17 and verse 24.
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He says I want you to remember them, I want you to submit to them, I want you to obey
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them, I want you to encourage them, and I want you to greet them.
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And those who are in leadership, and I believe that the equivalent would be elders, it's
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a tall task for you.
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We're looking at your conduct and we're watching you and we're following you, but our part
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is that we are to follow you.
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In a culture that doesn't submit to leadership, it's not a matter of personal freedom in the
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kingdom of God.
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Peter says for the Lord's sake, submit yourself to every human institution.
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This is the will of God that in so doing you will put to silence the ignorance of foolish
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men.
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First Peter 2, 15 and 16, we have a great opportunity to show a world that breaks the
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laws of the land with brazenness, and despises those who enforce the laws and make the laws
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that this is what one looks like who is a character that's been walking with Jesus.
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We submit to authority in whatever circumstance we find ourselves, as citizens, as employees,
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as church members, and as family members.
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To develop our character as we should, we're to avoid strange teachings, verse 9 to verse
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11.
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It's noteworthy that he doesn't tell us what those strange teachings are.
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Somebody might say it's Judaism, the stuff he's been dealing with, but in every age there
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are strange teachings including ours.
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Those strange teachings may have something to do with Jesus, or they may have to do nothing
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with Jesus.
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But here's what they have in common.
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Verse 9, they don't benefit you.
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Verse 10, they don't bring you to God.
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And verse 11, they will not save you.
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No other teaching except the teaching of Christ brings us to what we've got to have, and that's
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grace.
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Maybe somebody says, well I don't know what is a strange teaching and what's not.
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That's fair enough.
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God makes us responsible for knowing what is right and what is strange teachings.
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He says don't be cared about with every wind of doctrine, Ephesians 4 and verse 14.
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He says let no man deceive you with empty words, Ephesians chapter 5 and verse 6.
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And he says that let no one take you captive through empty philosophy and the traditions
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of men rather than the traditions of Christ, Colossians 2 and verse 8.
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I know that some of you know some of the specifics of what took place, and hopefully
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this is not one of those too soon moments.
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But some folks were asking what happened with Rich, and it's a common issue.
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Even those who are older and don't have the excuse of not being able to read do these
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kinds of things.
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Gatorade, blue Gatorade and blue Powerade looks a lot like things like windshield wiper
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fluid and Windex.
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But when you're thirsty and you're trying to slake and satisfy that thirst, it matters
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which of those two that you drink.
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And when it comes to the spiritual, it matters what it is that we're consuming, we're ingesting.
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Is it the teaching of Christ or something else?
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There's an outcome that's completely different.
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He said all of this, and yet if we're going to, if we're walking with Jesus and we're
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worried about our character development, most fundamentally what we've got to do is meet
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with Jesus.
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I love the way that this paragraph ends.
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Wherefore Jesus also, that he might sanctify the people in his own blood, suffered outside
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the gate.
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Wherefore let us go unto him, outside the camp, bearing his reproach.
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For here we have no continuing city, but we seek that which is to come.
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There is nothing I can think of that's going to develop our character any more than meeting
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with Jesus.
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I love the very thought to express it that way.
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And that's what he's inviting us to do.
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He says, let us come out with him.
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You know, when they kicked Jesus out of the city of Jerusalem on the day in which he was
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crucified and they expelled him from the city, when Jesus died there, the city had nothing
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left to offer anybody who came with a sacrifice to God.
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Not the blood of bulls and calves, but with his own blood, he obtained eternal redemption
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for us, Hebrews chapter 9 and verse 12.
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That's been done.
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That's been accomplished.
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He arose.
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He's at the right hand of God.
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He is serving as our high priest, our mediator, our go-between.
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And he says, come meet me.
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You want to build your character?
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Don't miss a day of meeting the Lord.
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Don't miss an opportunity to listen to him.
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To be a Marian, to sit at his feet and hear his truth through his word.
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Don't miss an opportunity to talk to him and tell him the things that you're bearing and
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that you're dealing with and how you feel toward him.
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I'll tell you what, the more time that you spend with Jesus, the more you're going to
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think like him and the more you're going to talk like him and the more you're going to
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act like him and the more time that you're spending with Jesus, it's a remarkable thing
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the more you want to spend with him.
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And the more time that you spend with him, the more you're going to long to be with him
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where you never have to end the conversation and you never have to break off the time together.
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And so that's where that last verse comes in.
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We realize when we're meeting with Jesus that there's an opportunity for us to never have
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that come to an end.
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We have a continuing city, a place he's prepared for us.
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He wants that to burn in our hearts so much that he says, don't let your hearts be troubled.
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I'm going to do this.
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I'm doing this for you so that we can be together.
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Nothing will change our lives more than consistently meeting with Jesus and letting him wear off
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on us.
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Have you ever done that little research of what your name means?
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I did that to mix results.
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My name is Gary Neal Pollard, Jr., Jr. of course because I'm named for my dad.
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I go by my middle name, Neal.
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I'm proud of that name.
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You know if you research it, it means champion.
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I'm a champion.
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Gary means hunting dog.
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Pollard means treetopper.
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So I suppose I am a champion hunting dog treetopper or I'm a champion treetopping hunting dog.
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I don't know if that's a name to live up to or a name to live down to.
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In your Bible reading, you've come across a guy named Harbona.
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I'm sure that's just the top of your tongue, right?
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Harbona is mentioned twice in the book of Esther.
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You know what his name means?
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His name means I drive a donkey.
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I'm feeling pretty good about my name right now.
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Harbona though plays an important role in God's providence in the book of Esther.
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Things you know are turning one way, it looks like the Jews are going to be destroyed and
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then through God's providence, things begin to happen and one of those is there's this
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guy Harbona who sees the gallows and he says Haman hung those, let's hang him on those
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and as a result of this, the Jewish people are spared.
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Whatever it is about your name, the thing that's most important is that a good name
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means more than a lot of wealth, Proverbs 22 and verse 1.
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A good name is better than medicine, Ecclesiastes 7 and verse 1.
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The most important thing about your name is do you honor Christ in the name that you wear.
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This is not one of those one and done lessons where we get to take this and then walk out
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and if we just do 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6, it's all better.
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It's an ongoing development but the Hebrews writer says as a world is looking in on us
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and they want to know how to live in a way that lives up to the purpose that we have,
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we've got a golden opportunity and we do that through our character development.
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But it starts with meeting Jesus, meeting him at the cross.
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The cross Jesus gave up his life innocent for the guilty.
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We when we crucify our passions and desires and we crucify our old man, we're guilty people
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trying to be made innocent.
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We meet him at the tomb where Jesus lay dead for two and a half days, three days.
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We die to ourselves.
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The Bible says through faith and repentance, we're buried with him into baptism.
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We meet him in the tomb of the water where we bury the old man.
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And as Jesus came out of that tomb on the first day of the week, we rise to walk in
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newness of life, Romans 6 and verse 4.
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If you've not yet done that, that's where you need to meet Jesus first.
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But if you're a child of God and things aren't going as they should in your character and
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it's of such that this is beyond a private setting and others know that, the Lord says,
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make it right.
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Meet me, I'll be there.
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If you needed to respond, you know that there's going to be men and women, boys and girls
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who will join you, come up and hug you.
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But what we don't often think is that the first one that will meet you there is our
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Lord.
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If it's your need, you need to respond to this invitation, I want you to come right
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now as we stand and sing.