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Things We Need Unlearn In Our 20s (& Beyond) · Two Broke Chicks

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: This podcast is recorded on gaddigal Land Always was, always
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: will be Aboriginal Land.
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: Hey Ticks, I'm out and I'm sal And this is
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  Speaker 2: Two Broke Chicks, the show that shares life lessons and
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: tips to help make you rich in life. And Welcome back,
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: Live Life.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: Welcome back for another fun little Eppie, how are you
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: say out? I'm good? How are you going? I'm good?
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: Sounds a little bit blocked up in the schnozzle, So apologies.
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: She's good, she's babe, and she's thriving.
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  Speaker 2: Well, today we are going to be talking about the
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: things we need to unlearn in our twenties sown. I
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: have these things that I'm sure you chicks do too,
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  Speaker 2: that we have ingrained in us, and we're like, fuck,
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: we need to stop doing that. For example, one we've
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: mentioned on the podcast a lot is saying the word
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: just for example.
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  Speaker 1: You know, it's very minimizing to what you're saying.
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  Speaker 2: You very often can remove that from your vocabulary. So
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: these are those kind of life lessons that were like, damn,
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  Speaker 2: let's move past these things.
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  Speaker 1: Also, some of these things like I don't know about
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  Speaker 1: you because I don't know what yours are.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, but like, I'm still in the process of some
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: of these things. Like I'm like still catching myself doing
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  Speaker 2: some of these things that I want to unload, and
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  Speaker 2: I'm like, ah, stop it.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, definitely minor for sure, things that I still do
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  Speaker 3: or you know, I've found myself falling back into patterns.
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  Speaker 1: And I'm in my thirties. So that's the thing as well.
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  Speaker 3: Even if you're not in your twenties and you're listening
• 1:34
  Speaker 3: to this episode. I think all of these things will
• 1:36
  Speaker 3: be good reminders no matter what.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: Age you are.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like the things we need to unload in
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: our twenties and be olden.
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, before we start, let's talk about our.
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: Obsession of the week.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: So what are you obsessed with? I have another TV show?
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, tell me.
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: Clearly, I'm in my cozy girl erage. It's winter and
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: I'm consuming all of the content. The best time to
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  Speaker 3: do it.
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: But it's a new show on Netflix and it's called
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  Speaker 1: four Seasons Seeing this pop up.
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  Speaker 2: It's Steve Carell in it and Tina Fey here, so obviously, yeah,
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: it's a good calculation there.
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: It's so good. I think it's eight episodes.
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  Speaker 2: Each episode is around thirty minutes, so super easy to watch.
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  Speaker 2: And it's about three couples who have all been friends
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  Speaker 2: for decades and they go on quarterly trips together.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, which is really cute, cute little tradition.
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: But then one of the couples breaks up, and so
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: it like completely.
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: Steve Carell and Tina are they in a couple together?
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: They're not in a couple together.
• 2:35
  Speaker 3: But I won't give it away because that is the
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  Speaker 3: description of the TV show, so I haven't dropped like
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: a big spoiler. By later, you know, one of them
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: breaks up, but I don't want to say who breaks up.
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you do find out in the first episode though, ok.
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: But it's really good and every episode finishes on a
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  Speaker 3: huge clickhang.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: Oh no sad.
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  Speaker 3: At the end of every episode, I'd be like, fuck,
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  Speaker 3: like just wanting to watch.
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: The next one. It's really good. Okay, Yeah, what's your obsession?
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: My obsession of the week is the thirteen dollar press
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  Speaker 2: on nails from cotton On. As you chicks may have remembered,
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: I'm on like a press on nail's journey recession indicator.
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: But I just simply can't sit in a nail salon
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  Speaker 2: for two hours anymore. It's too much of my time,
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  Speaker 2: it's too much, it's hard to fit into and just
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  Speaker 2: the price has gotten insane, and like, I get it,
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  Speaker 2: people need people have their own businesses. I'm not going
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  Speaker 2: to sit here and say you're not allowed to charge that,
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: you know, yeah, but I am allowed to sit here
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  Speaker 2: and be like, I don't want to pay that totally.
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  Speaker 2: So like I swear, we went to go get our
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  Speaker 2: nails done earlier this year, and I think this was
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  Speaker 2: my final straw and I showed them a photo not
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  Speaker 2: that intense because I didn't want to sit there for
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  Speaker 2: that long, and I got quoted one hundred and seventy
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  Speaker 2: five dollars and.
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  Speaker 1: I was like, these last two weeks, so I'm not
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  Speaker 1: going to do that. Yeah, But again, each to their own.
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  Speaker 2: But if you also feel that way, highly recommend the
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  Speaker 2: cant non press on nails. I've had these on for
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: nearly three weeks, yeah, and ones popped off and then
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  Speaker 2: you just give it a quick file, quick glue, pop
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  Speaker 2: it back on. Like it's changed my life to be
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: completely transparent with you. How Like it's so affordable the
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  Speaker 2: nail art you can get that would normally cost you
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  Speaker 2: like two hundred dollars is so much cheaper. And I
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  Speaker 2: have tried press on nails over the years before, and
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  Speaker 2: I haven't liked them, like I've been like, I just
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  Speaker 2: can't get around it.
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  Speaker 1: They all pop off. It doesn't do But I don't
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: know what's happened. They've reformulated glue and it's really good.
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: I love them.
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  Speaker 2: And also one of the things that I really struggled
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  Speaker 2: with was that the nails would always be too big
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  Speaker 2: for my nails. Nah, but these were these were really good,
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  Speaker 2: like the size range.
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  Speaker 1: I love that. Yeah, Yeah, it's good shit.
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  Speaker 2: So yeah, highly recommend the cotton on press on nails.
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: Thirteen dollars and you get heaps in the packet, like
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  Speaker 2: you don't just get ten. And so if you lose one, yes,
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: so if you lose one and it like goes away,
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: like sometimes I lose one, I'm not gonna say that.
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  Speaker 2: They're like iron Yeah, but like I've had these on
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  Speaker 2: for three weeks and one popped off yesterday.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: Okay, shall we get into the things we need to
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  Speaker 2: unlearn in our twenties and beyond, yes, yeah.
• 5:34
  Speaker 3: Things we need to unlearn in our twenties and beyond
• 5:37
  Speaker 3: money dysmorphia oh, have you heard of this term before?
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: I have?
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  Speaker 2: I have.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, So for anybody who isn't familiar, money dysmorphia isn't
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  Speaker 3: a clinical term. It's essentially an Internet term to describe
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  Speaker 3: something that people have been discussing a lot in recent years.
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  Speaker 3: But essentially, it's an Internet theory that describes somebody who
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  Speaker 3: has a distorted view of their financial situation and well being.
• 6:03
  Speaker 3: And a recent survey conducted by Credit Karma found that
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  Speaker 3: twenty nine percent of Americans experience money dysmorphia. This is
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  Speaker 3: especially prevalent in younger generations, with forty three percent of
• 6:15
  Speaker 3: Gen Z relating to this concept. It is so interesting because,
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  Speaker 3: like we were saying, it's not it's a new term,
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: but it's not a new concept. It's basically the twenty
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  Speaker 3: twenty five answer to keeping up with the Joneses.
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  Speaker 1: Jones Jones, Joneses, Joneses. But the comparison trap.
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  Speaker 3: I think either makes you feel inadequate and like you
• 6:36
  Speaker 3: don't have enough money, or you need to spend more money.
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  Speaker 1: To keep up with other people's lifestyles.
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  Speaker 2: I also think it's the fact that no one teaches
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  Speaker 2: you how to budget, no one teaches you how much
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  Speaker 2: you're supposed to put towards living expenses, towards tax, Like
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: we're all kind of here free balling tax being like
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: I think that's right. Yeah, they're like until you get
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  Speaker 2: an account obviously, which I highly recommend, but it's like.
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  Speaker 1: No one teaches you this shit that.
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  Speaker 2: I know when I moved out when I was twenty one,
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  Speaker 2: I thought I could afford rent that was way higher
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  Speaker 2: than what I.
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  Speaker 1: Could actually afford.
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  Speaker 2: And it was only once I moved out and I
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  Speaker 2: was like, oh shit that like this is not like
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  Speaker 2: this is so much more expensive than I thought it
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  Speaker 2: was going to be. Yeah, or like vice versa, Like
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  Speaker 2: you look at something and be like, yeah, I can
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  Speaker 2: afford that, and then you get to the end of
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  Speaker 2: the month and you'll let yeah.
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  Speaker 1: Fully.
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  Speaker 3: But on the other side of that, money dysmorphia can
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  Speaker 3: also have you questioning your financial security and worth when
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  Speaker 3: you're actually doing okay, which I definitely can relate to
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  Speaker 3: as well, and having that anxiety around money even though
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  Speaker 3: like yeah, sure you're not rolling around in cash, but
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  Speaker 3: also like you're doing okay and things are going to
• 7:51
  Speaker 3: be all right.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, and this doesn't mean that.
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  Speaker 3: Like the cost of living crisis and that money isn't stressful,
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  Speaker 3: because I think it is. I think whether or not
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  Speaker 3: you have a lot of money or you don't have
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  Speaker 3: any money. Of course, it all exists on a scale,
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  Speaker 3: but it is it comes down to perspective a lot
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  Speaker 3: of the time as well, and it can be a
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  Speaker 3: source of stress for a lot of people. But I
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  Speaker 3: also think that for most people in their twenty years,
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  Speaker 3: it's a reminder that we should be less hard on ourselves.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, because like you were saying, we don't learn anything
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  Speaker 1: about money.
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  Speaker 2: Dude, I didn't have savings until I, like maybe two
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  Speaker 2: years ago.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: Like I remember sitting with my roommate when we were
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  Speaker 2: like twenty five, I think she was maybe two years older,
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  Speaker 2: and she was like she don't. She like sided eyed
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  Speaker 2: me and she's like, do you have savings? And I
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  Speaker 2: was like, oh shit, we're going there. And I was
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  Speaker 2: like how much do you have? She was like two
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  Speaker 2: hundred bucks and I was like, yeah, pretty much the same.
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  Speaker 2: And like that's the thing is again, you don't get
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  Speaker 2: taught how to do it, and then potentially you see
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  Speaker 2: articles or statistics of like this is the average salary
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  Speaker 2: of someone in their thirties, or this is the average
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  Speaker 2: savings of someone in their twenties.
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  Speaker 3: I didn't start saving money until I was in my
• 9:04
  Speaker 3: mid twenties. But I do think a big part of
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  Speaker 3: that for me personally was this concept of money dysmorphia,
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  Speaker 3: and I felt so defeated and like there was no
• 9:15
  Speaker 3: point even saving money because I was, you know, on
• 9:18
  Speaker 3: an entry level journalists wage living in Sydney for the
• 9:21
  Speaker 3: first time. So I felt apathetic that I was just like,
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  Speaker 3: what's the point, And so I didn't even try to
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  Speaker 3: save or budget.
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: I just can't.
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
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  Speaker 3: But I think the thing is, though, is that looking
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: back at my spending habits, I definitely could have like
• 9:36
  Speaker 3: there was definitely things that I could have been coming live,
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: I know. But list I remember, I think it was
• 9:43
  Speaker 3: on like my twenty fourth birthday and I was throwing
• 9:46
  Speaker 3: like a big house party, and I looked at my
• 9:48
  Speaker 3: bank account and I was like shit, and I realized
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: that I was gonna have to pay.
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: My rent late by like a day. That by like
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: a day.
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  Speaker 3: But because I'd spent so much money like buying you know,
• 10:01
  Speaker 3: like food and decorations and shit.
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: For my party.
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  Speaker 3: Literally, that's what I mean, Like I probably could have
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  Speaker 3: been budgeting better. And maybe having a bit more forethought
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  Speaker 3: about prioritizing where my money was going. And I'm not
• 10:15
  Speaker 3: saying that, like I wasn't, you know, struggling financially at
• 10:19
  Speaker 3: the time, but I just didn't.
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  Speaker 1: I was like, oh, well, what's the fucking point.
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  Speaker 2: Maybe I feel like this might potentially be a toxic
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  Speaker 2: money trade of mine, But it's the fact that I
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: think about that, and I think about the fact that
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  Speaker 2: I didn't save in my early twenties because one, like
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: didn't know how too, it was very expensive minimum wage vibes.
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: But also I'm like, I was having fun, yeah, and
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: I'm still having fun now, but like, a, I don't
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: know if this is the right way to look at it,
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: but that's why I'm like, yeah, but you're having fun,
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: I know. So I'm like, but again, I'm not saying
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: that's a good thing, but I'm like, if you're gonna
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  Speaker 2: not think about saving at some point in time in
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: your life, maybe your early twenties is a best part
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: to do. Yeah, when because you've got maybe less responsibility,
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: maybe you don't have a partner, maybe you're still living
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: at your parents' house.
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: Like if you're going to fucking.
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: Balls to the wall at anyone in time to your
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: life and be like, fuck it, that's probably the time
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: to do it, and then maybe you can grow up
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: a little bit.
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that's what happened, and like I'm okay, yeah,
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: and I think that's citizen.
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: I'm okay, so dramatic. Yeah, but like I've learnt those things.
• 11:31
  Speaker 3: But it was I remember like sitting down and being like,
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: holy shit, like I'm turning twenty four tomorrow and I
• 11:37
  Speaker 3: don't have any sayings and like I have a full
• 11:39
  Speaker 3: time job and I'm thinking about how like I won't
• 11:42
  Speaker 3: be able to afford my rent because I haven't been
• 11:45
  Speaker 3: responsible with my money, and it's just like I.
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: Had to have those scares to make maybe like this
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: feeling of not being able to pay my rent and
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: having to text my mum to transfer me two hundred
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: dollars is not fun. Yeah, so like let's not do
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: this again. And absolutely it happened again, but then like
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: the feeling of that being like okay, it's having three
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: times I've let my lesson.
• 12:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and I think as well, it just made me
• 12:07
  Speaker 3: flip the switch a little bit and change my perspective
• 12:10
  Speaker 3: and instead of being like, oh well, fuck, it like,
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: I don't make any money anyway, watch your point of
• 12:14
  Speaker 3: even saving because I won't have anything. I was like,
• 12:17
  Speaker 3: I'm going to make a goal to save one thousand
• 12:19
  Speaker 3: dollars in the next six months. Yeah, and it was
• 12:21
  Speaker 3: like once I started doing that, it became so much
• 12:23
  Speaker 3: easier to save once I already had savings.
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: But yeah, it's interesting.
• 12:27
  Speaker 3: I listened to an episode of an NPR podcast called
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: The Indicator from Planet Money this week, and they quoted
• 12:35
  Speaker 3: a study that found that three out of five people
• 12:37
  Speaker 3: aged twenty eight or under feel stressed about their finances.
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: But looking at that group of people, they're actually doing
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: okay financially. So again, I'm not saying that money shouldn't
• 12:48
  Speaker 3: be stressful, but I do think there are a few
• 12:51
  Speaker 3: things that you can do to get a little bit
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: more perspective and maybe feel a bit more empowered about
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: your finances. So some tips to deal with my dysmorphia.
• 13:01
  Speaker 3: Regularly check your bank account that band aid off honestly,
• 13:06
  Speaker 3: build a budget so that you know where your money
• 13:08
  Speaker 3: is coming and going, setting aside a fun fund so
• 13:11
  Speaker 3: you actually feel like you can spend your money. Because
• 13:13
  Speaker 3: if you're on the opposite side where you feel stressed
• 13:16
  Speaker 3: and anxious about money.
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: If you never want to spend anything, unfollow anybody who.
• 13:20
  Speaker 3: Makes you feel insecure or you feel like influences you
• 13:23
  Speaker 3: to spend money that you don't have.
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: And also talk to your friends about money.
• 13:27
  Speaker 3: Like you were saying, you sat down with your old
• 13:29
  Speaker 3: housemate and you both admitted to each other that you
• 13:31
  Speaker 3: didn't really have savings. And I'm sure that lifted such
• 13:35
  Speaker 3: a huge weight off your shoulders and made you bought.
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: A bottle of wine.
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I love that. Yeah, what's yours? Okay?
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: My first thing we need to unlearn in our twenties
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: is that fashion is driven by body shapes and what
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: is considered flattering. I just feel as though style is
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: not dependent on what is deemed fluttering, like this term flattering,
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: and I find it very limited and a very dated
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: notion that yet again puts women into categories, and whether
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: we like it or not, those categories do have a
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: hierarchy as well. And I just cringe every time I
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: see a video of what to wear according to your
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: body type. And it's not shade to anyone specific or anything,
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: but it just is something that I think we need
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: to move away from and need to unlearn.
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: And there are multiple.
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: Reasons as to why I think this is like a
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: damaging and prehistoric narrative because it's confusing. Right, So, number one,
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: the math ain't mathing. So according to Nicky Parkinson, former
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: journalist and founder of Styling You, some experts would have
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: us believe that where one of five body shapes, others
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: tell us that there are seven possible shapes, and yet
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: another thinks there are twelve.
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: Zero point five.
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: Billion individual women in the world. Math may not be
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: my strong point, but something doesn't add up. Each of
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: us is different from the next woman. To think we
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: can all be categorized as certain types of fruit or
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: other kinds of shapes is just crazy and it distracts
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: us from the task at hand, which is to choose, buy,
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: and wear clothes that make us feel good. And also,
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: not to be obvious, but have you noticed that we
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: never ever talk about men's.
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: Fashion in this way?
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: That was my second point, yeah, is that I have
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: never ever heard men be categorized into body types or shapes.
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: That's not to say that they have. I am not god.
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: I haven't seen every single piece of information or content
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: out there, but this body types and shapes and whether
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: an outfit is flattering is sexist.
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: It's never ever put into.
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: Men's fashion, like, yeah, I've just never heard it that way,
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: and no one is out there calling a guy a
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: classic inverted triangle yeah, or yes, he needs this stress
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: for his pear shaped torso like it just.
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: I don't know, I just don't like it.
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: It's something that I'm really really trying to unlearn, especially
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: the term like flattering.
• 16:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I also think that flattering has an undertone of
• 16:29
  Speaker 3: looking smaller. Yes, yeah, I don't think that flattering even
• 16:33
  Speaker 3: really means like showing off your bodies, like showing off
• 16:38
  Speaker 3: your body.
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: Flattering is the F word we need to stop using
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: because it's basically a synonym for fixing.
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, right, Like that's.
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: How I look at it, and I've absolutely stopped trying
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: to use it towards myself. I've absolutely stopped using it.
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: I don't think I look, I'm not gonna say I've
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: never said to someone growing up, because you would think
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: it was a compliment, Right.
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: That looks so flattering, that looks really good on you.
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: I do not say that to anyone anymore because exactly
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: what you said, it's this.
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: Undertone of fixing.
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: Or you look smaller or you look better because something
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: is either accentuated that is deemed attractive, or something is
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: hidden that is deemed not attractive by society.
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: Right, and yeah, every.
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: Time I'm using that term towards myself, I find that
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: it's because it's hidden something that is maybe an insecurity
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: of mine, or because it's accentuated something that's deemed attractive.
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: Totally, you know what I mean.
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: And I also think we've just confused the term flattering
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: for a garment that just fits you well, because half
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: the time maybe that little naughty thought pops up in
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: my head, I'm like, actually, the clothes just fit, yeah,
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: you know, And like it's again that notion of like
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: clothes are meant to fit you, You're not meant to
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: fit your clothes.
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what I mean.
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: Love that, And yeah, I just think it's something we
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: need to unlearn in our twenties. But I also saw
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: this week on Less Socials on shit you should care
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: about that, TikTok has blocked searchers for hashtag skinny talk
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: and yeah, and a tag that was basically a fast
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: track to content glorifying disordered eating, which I think is
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: really really great I also know TikTok has also band
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: creators that were, you know, pushing certain narratives around eating
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: disorders and really really damaging rhetorics of being skinny and that.
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: And I think as well, we're definitely seeing a resurgence
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: of you know, the twenty tens, two thousand's esque body type.
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: And body shape.
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: That again, I'm like, fuck, like, it's just it's something
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: we absolutely need to unlearn.
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: And I still kind of sit here.
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: Sometimes when I see content that's like what to wear,
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: and I it. I get it's coming from a place
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: of people maybe feel certain ways about their body that
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: they don't want to accentuate some things, or maybe it
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: makes them feel comfortable to wear a certain thing.
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: But that shouldn't be fueled by the fact that you
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: think you look a certain way.
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: It should be fueled by the fact that when you
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: wear something, it makes you feel fucking hot exactly like
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: it makes you feel fucking sexy. Like I know that
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: like for my body type, if you will, I don't
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: dress according to it. I like, I like oversized fits,
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: I like wearing men's clothes. I like, you know, not
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: accentuating every single like I don't.
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: I don't like wearing super super super.
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: Tight clothing, Like I don't feel I don't feel comfortable
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: in it. It doesn't align to like my identity, but
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: like it would go against probably what every stylist's advice
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: would be to wear what's suited to my body type.
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: But I don't care because I like it. I like
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: what they're wearing.
• 20:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah, well, you want to feel comfortable and like it's
• 20:08
  Speaker 3: reflective of who you are on the inside, which is
• 20:11
  Speaker 3: so cliche, but fuck it, it's true. Yeah, And I
• 20:15
  Speaker 3: think we need to flip how we look at it
• 20:18
  Speaker 3: and instead of looking for clothes that hide certain things
• 20:22
  Speaker 3: about ourselves, like we need to look for clothes that
• 20:26
  Speaker 3: make us feel.
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: More like ourselves.
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: Again, like we said at the start, it's a work
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: in progress.
• 20:32
  Speaker 3: My next thing that we need to unlearn in our
• 20:35
  Speaker 3: twenties or any age, is only celebrating traditional milestones, because
• 20:41
  Speaker 3: in our twenties it can feel like a race towards
• 20:44
  Speaker 3: a deadline. A lot of people put pressure on themselves
• 20:47
  Speaker 3: in their twenties to achieve things by a certain age.
• 20:50
  Speaker 3: I think it's okay to have a bit of an
• 20:52
  Speaker 3: idea of what you want from your life and things
• 20:54
  Speaker 3: that you want to achieve in your life. But I
• 20:57
  Speaker 3: think if you're being like, Okay, I want to get
• 20:58
  Speaker 3: married by twenty five, have kids by twenty seven, blah blah,
• 21:02
  Speaker 3: like you sort of set yourself up for failure if
• 21:05
  Speaker 3: those things don't go to plan.
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: Dude, I'm so glad those things didn't go to plan.
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: Did you have like deadlines like that set up for yourself?
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: Ever?
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and they were with absolutely not the right people
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: as well. That like, by having those deadlines, if I
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: stuck to it, I would have been really unhappy.
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but I would have been with the wrong person.
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: I would have you been stuck with responsibilities that I
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: wasn't ready for. And yeah, I just wouldn't have the
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: experiences under my belt that I'm glad I have, know
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: all the career and friendships and people in my life
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: if I stuck to those deadlines.
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: That I made up and gave to myself.
• 21:48
  Speaker 3: Literally and the arbitrary deadlines they're made up that don't
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: really mean anything, and they can be really restricting. But
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: also it means that we're only celebrating these really additional
• 22:00
  Speaker 3: milestones in our life, such as buying house, getting engaged,
• 22:06
  Speaker 3: getting married, having children. These are all amazing things definitely
• 22:10
  Speaker 3: worth celebrating. Grab a bottle of sheep, yeah, honestly. But
• 22:15
  Speaker 3: something for myself, which I've spoken about on the show,
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: is that, like my whole life, I've never seen those
• 22:21
  Speaker 3: things like getting engaged having kids in my timeline, so
• 22:25
  Speaker 3: I didn't necessarily have deadlines for those things for myself. However,
• 22:29
  Speaker 3: in my later twenties and now even in my thirties,
• 22:32
  Speaker 3: I do think to myself, like, all of these people
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: around me are getting engaged, having kids, which is amazing,
• 22:39
  Speaker 3: and there's so many opportunities to celebrate those things. But
• 22:42
  Speaker 3: I also I'm kind of like, when do I get
• 22:45
  Speaker 3: to celebrate something now, because once you turn you know,
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: like twenty one or thirty is like the last big
• 22:53
  Speaker 3: birthday in to like fifty, right, Yeah, well I would
• 22:55
  Speaker 3: say forty probably.
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: I think my mom had a big forty. Yes. No,
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I like that's good. Yeah, celebrate a whole decade.
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: I know, you know, that's a long time to not
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: have anyone like say nice things about you in a
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: room full of people with you know, jelly shots in
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: the corner.
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly.
• 23:14
  Speaker 3: I think that whether or not you do plan to
• 23:16
  Speaker 3: celebrate those traditional milestones or not, Like, why not embrace
• 23:22
  Speaker 3: opportunities to celebrate more great things that we don't just women?
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: What should we celebrate? What's what's our next celebration for you?
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: Because now you've brought this to my attention, and as
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: the person in the world sub Chris who loves you
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: the most, I'm like, what are we going to celebrate?
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: You know what? I love?
• 23:39
  Speaker 3: You know?
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: On Sex and the City.
• 23:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and Samantha has a I don't have any babies party.
• 23:46
  Speaker 3: When I first saw that, I was like, holy shit,
• 23:49
  Speaker 3: that is such a good idea.
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: Absolutely, when should we do that? Thirty five? Yeah, I
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: reckon that's between I don't have any babies party? Yeah,
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: I think that's so fun. But I do have a
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: list of that I think that we can celebrate.
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: Okay, hit me, So things we need to celebrate in
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: our twenties and beyond that isn't getting married, baby showers,
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: or buying a house.
• 24:10
  Speaker 3: Moving out, getting a promotion, or leaving a job that
• 24:14
  Speaker 3: you hate, or leaving a man that you hate.
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: Yes, that's definitely one.
• 24:18
  Speaker 3: Leaving a relationship that you're not happy in or a friendship,
• 24:22
  Speaker 3: paying off debt or.
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: Your hex more of us need to have payoff parties. Yeah,
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: because I broke up with Hex.
• 24:31
  Speaker 3: Yes, breaking a bad habit, finding a passion or purpose
• 24:37
  Speaker 3: and taking a risk.
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, why not.
• 24:40
  Speaker 3: It doesn't have to be a huge party. It can
• 24:42
  Speaker 3: just be, Hey, I paid off my Hex. Can we
• 24:45
  Speaker 3: go for a drink?
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: Yes, Friday?
• 24:48
  Speaker 3: I want a toast to something, get a cake and
• 24:50
  Speaker 3: having more things like that. And I think you and
• 24:52
  Speaker 3: I especially, we don't do this enough and celebrate the
• 24:57
  Speaker 3: little wins that we have along the way, and I
• 25:00
  Speaker 3: think everybody needs to do that more.
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: I think everyone listening to this needs to put in
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: a celebration for something that they've achieved this year or
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: will achieve.
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: That's everyone's homework. Yeah, let us know in the comments
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: what you're going to do.
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: Okay, Okay, My final one is a quickie and yeah,
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: my favorite.
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: And the thing we need.
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: To unlearn in our twenties is that a romantic relationship
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: is the final goal. And I'm saying this as well
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: as someone who has entered a relationship that fingers crossed
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: is you know, gonna gonna go the lot the full road.
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: But I do remember in my twenties thinking that I
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: was never going to meet someone.
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: There was definitely a point.
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: That I absolutely was like, oh shit, there's like I
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: don't actually think I'm ever gonna get ma read or
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: meet anyone that's like a life partner because it's just
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: not gonna happen to me.
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: But and there's a big butt to this. I actually
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: was okay with that because.
• 26:13
  Speaker 2: When I looked around, I was like, I have so
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: many amazing friends and by that I mean three, yeah,
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: you know I had at that point and still have
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: three really really fucking amazing best friends that I was like,
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: that's okay, like that these are my life partners.
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: Like I didn't.
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: I realized I didn't need that one romantic relationship to
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: feel as though my relationships with other people CUP was
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: full because obviously we use the term relationship and we
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: reserve it only for romantic relationships and not necessarily for
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: platonic Yeah, and we are definitely moving away from this again.
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: This is something that we're celebrating more, Like more and more,
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: I'm seeing more interviews and books and including ours, and
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: you know, articles about the joy and importance and beauty
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: of platonic and female friendships and just friendships as a
• 27:13
  Speaker 2: whole that I'm like we don't need to strive for
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: this one thing to be like, yay, did it? Yeah, Dan,
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: Like that's not the big gold trophy on the top
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: of a mountain, to be like you are now deemed
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: worthy because you are in a partnership with.
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: Someone and you sometimes have sex.
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because that's that's the difference, you know, like between
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: your friends and a romantic relationship. One has desire and
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: you know, a sexual esque nature to it, not including
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: you know, asexual relationships of course, But and I'm just like,
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: I'm just so so happy that this is getting the
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: time in the sun that it is because it's still
• 28:03
  Speaker 2: a narrative that's pushed, but.
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: It's becoming one that we're unlearning. Yeah, what do you think.
• 28:09
  Speaker 3: I think that that's how people end up settling for
• 28:12
  Speaker 3: less when they feel like they have to have a partner.
• 28:16
  Speaker 3: But I think it also goes the same for friendships too,
• 28:18
  Speaker 3: like when people feel like they have to have a
• 28:20
  Speaker 3: huge group of friends or they have to have a
• 28:23
  Speaker 3: best friend. You actually don't need any of these things
• 28:28
  Speaker 3: as long as you have a good relationship with yourself,
• 28:32
  Speaker 3: and then the relationships that you find with other people,
• 28:36
  Speaker 3: they don't have to fit any sort of mold. Yeah,
• 28:39
  Speaker 3: it's just whatever feels right to you. And I do
• 28:42
  Speaker 3: think that having supportive friendships is a huge part of that.
• 28:45
  Speaker 3: But that could be a group of ten people that
• 28:47
  Speaker 3: you've known since high school, or it could be one
• 28:49
  Speaker 3: person literally's okay.
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: And that's the thing as well, is like, even getting
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: into a relationship that then didn't become the priority over
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: you know, my friendship with you, it didn't lessen it.
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: I was like, all right, thanks for your time, great
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: work over the.
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: Last five years. Ten out of ten.
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: Good Now, thanks, thanks babe, here's your resignation.
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: That it's still like even when I was, you know,
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: getting into this relationship, it was like, just so you know,
• 29:20
  Speaker 2: this person is also the love of my life.
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: I was saving like, hey, hey, mawn, I've seen many
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: of you over the years. You think you're gonna stick around, bitch? No,
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: I was like, please stick grunt, and you're like, I
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: like you. You're the only one I've ever liked. But yeah,
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: it also doesn't lessen the ones that you do have.
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so wholesome, wholesome bitch, let's make out holes a
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: bitch holds a bitch all right, Well, is that a rap?
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: It is a rap. That is a rap. I would
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: love to.
• 29:53
  Speaker 2: Know all the things that chicks think we need to
• 29:56
  Speaker 2: unlearn in their twenties. So tell us in the comments
• 29:58
  Speaker 2: on Spotify socials, d m us all that fun.
• 30:01
  Speaker 3: Send us a pigeon, Send us pigeon Pitge.
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: Okay, we got big site story, No we can't. There
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: was a lady at Bondi Junction who lost her pet pigeon,
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: and she made a post in Facebook and I saw
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: it and it made me sad. So I had to
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: bring Sail down with me, and so I sent her
• 30:20
  Speaker 2: the post and they never found Pitge, and.
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: So it's a really they found page. They found pitche Oh,
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: thank god. He was so cute. He was really cute.
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: He was the only pigeon I've ever trusted. The other
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: pigeons I'm not quite sure about. No, I like them.
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: I feel bad for pigeons. I feel bad for pigeons.
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: They were brought into a world when we needed them,
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: and then cast aside when we decided we didn't. Damn
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: the man anyway. That is a RAF on today's episode.
• 30:49
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much, Cheeks for having us in your
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: ear holes. We love it to be here and shout
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: out to m ak Made for making this episode of
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: Two Broke Happened, Bye Bye.
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: The Fat has a Fat s