Latest / The Iconic Midlife with Roxy Manning / Burnout or Breakthrough? The Midlife Wake-Up Call You Didn't See Coming with Dr. Emma Jones

Transcript

Burnout or Breakthrough? The Midlife Wake-Up Call You Didn't See Coming with Dr. Emma Jones · The Iconic Midlife with Roxy Manning

0:00
It
0:00
is
0:00
not
0:00
possible
0:01
to
0:01
never
0:02
take
0:02
care
0:02
of
0:02
yourself
0:03
and
0:03
continue
0:03
to
0:04
live.
0:04
If
0:05
you
0:05
want
0:05
to
0:05
be
0:05
a
0:05
martyr,
0:06
it
0:06
means
0:06
you're
0:06
going
0:07
to
0:07
die,
0:07
either
0:08
literally
0:09
or
0:09
like
0:10
ego
0:10
death.
0:10
But
0:11
one
0:12
of
0:12
those
0:12
two
0:12
things
0:13
is
0:13
going
0:13
to
0:13
happen.
0:14
So
0:14
what
0:14
do
0:15
you
0:15
think?
0:15
Can
0:15
you
0:16
truly
0:16
have
0:16
it
0:16
all?
0:17
The
0:17
it
0:17
all
0:18
is
0:18
defined
0:18
by
0:19
internal
0:20
metrics
0:21
and
0:21
standards
0:21
and
0:21
not
0:22
external.
0:23
You've
0:23
already
0:24
seen
0:24
this.
0:25
The
0:25
minute
0:25
you
0:26
succeed
0:26
at
0:26
something,
0:26
they
0:27
just
0:27
move
0:27
the
0:27
goalpost
0:28
and
0:28
say,
0:28
oh,
0:29
well,
0:29
now
0:29
you
0:29
have
0:29
to
0:29
do
0:29
this
0:30
other
0:30
thing.
0:30
Letting
0:31
what
0:32
people
0:32
think
0:32
of
0:33
you
0:33
hold
0:33
you
0:33
back.
0:34
That's
0:34
such
0:34
a.
0:35
It's
0:35
like
0:35
a
0:35
potential
0:36
killer.
0:36
I
0:37
ask
0:37
myself
0:37
that
0:37
question
0:38
all
0:38
the
0:38
time.
0:38
Like,
0:38
whose
0:39
business
0:39
am
0:39
I
0:39
in
0:40
right
0:40
now?
0:40
And
0:41
other
0:41
people's
0:42
opinions
0:42
of
0:42
me
0:42
is
0:43
their
0:43
business.
0:44
My
0:44
behavior
0:45
is
0:45
my
0:46
business.
0:47
I
0:47
was
0:48
obsessed
0:48
with
0:49
all
0:49
of
0:49
these
0:50
books
0:50
where
0:50
moms
0:51
run
0:51
away.
0:51
Anything
0:52
where
0:52
like,
0:52
a
0:52
woman
0:53
was
0:53
like,
0:53
running
0:54
away
0:54
from
0:55
her
0:55
life.
0:55
I
0:55
like,
0:55
was
0:56
like,
0:56
wow,
0:56
this
0:57
sounds
0:57
good.
0:57
And
0:57
I
0:57
wasn't
0:58
reading
0:58
them
0:58
as
0:59
entertainment.
0:59
I
1:00
was
1:00
reading
1:00
them
1:00
as,
1:01
like
1:01
instruction
1:01
manuals.
1:02
I
1:03
use
1:03
personal
1:03
mission
1:04
statement
1:04
as
1:05
a
1:05
filtering
1:06
device
1:06
very,
1:07
very
1:07
frequently.
1:08
And
1:08
I
1:08
have
1:08
my
1:09
clients
1:09
write
1:09
their
1:09
own
1:09
obituaries
1:10
and
1:11
we
1:11
work
1:11
backwards
1:12
from
1:12
there.
1:12
Right.
1:13
So,
1:13
like,
1:13
what
1:13
do
1:13
you
1:13
want
1:14
to
1:14
say
1:14
about
1:14
you
1:15
when
1:15
you
1:15
die
1:16
and
1:16
are
1:16
you
1:17
living
1:17
that
1:17
today?
1:23
If
1:23
you've
1:23
been
1:23
feeling
1:24
exhausted
1:24
but
1:25
can't
1:25
quite
1:25
explain
1:26
why,
1:26
if
1:27
you're
1:27
doing
1:27
all
1:27
the
1:28
things
1:28
but
1:28
feel
1:28
strangely
1:29
disconnected
1:30
from
1:30
yourself,
1:31
or
1:31
if
1:32
midlife
1:32
has
1:32
quietly
1:33
turned
1:33
into
1:33
a
1:34
season
1:34
of
1:34
caring
1:34
more
1:35
than
1:35
you
1:35
ever
1:35
expected,
1:37
this
1:37
conversation
1:38
is
1:38
for
1:39
you.
1:39
Today
1:40
I'm
1:40
joined
1:40
by
1:41
Dr.
1:41
Emma
1:41
Jones,
1:42
whose
1:42
work
1:43
around
1:43
burnout,
1:44
identity,
1:45
subconscious
1:45
wiring
1:46
and
1:46
small,
1:47
meaningful
1:47
shifts
1:48
has
1:49
helped
1:49
so
1:49
many
1:50
women
1:50
finally
1:51
exhale.
1:52
What
1:52
I
1:52
love
1:52
about
1:53
Emma's
1:53
approach
1:53
is
1:54
that
1:54
it's
1:54
evidence
1:55
based
1:55
but
1:55
deeply
1:56
human.
1:57
She
1:57
doesn't
1:57
tell
1:57
women
1:58
to
1:58
overhaul
1:58
their
1:59
lives
1:59
or
1:59
push
1:59
harder.
2:00
She
2:00
helps
2:01
them
2:01
understand
2:01
why
2:02
they're
2:02
depleted,
2:03
what's
2:03
actually
2:04
happening
2:04
beneath
2:05
the
2:05
surface,
2:06
and
2:06
how
2:06
to
2:06
begin
2:07
reclaiming
2:07
themselves
2:08
without
2:08
guilt,
2:09
pressure,
2:09
or
2:10
performative
2:11
healing.
2:12
This
2:12
is
2:12
a
2:12
conversation
2:13
about
2:13
burnout
2:14
that
2:14
doesn't
2:14
pathologize
2:15
you,
2:16
about
2:16
midlife
2:17
that
2:17
doesn't
2:18
frame
2:18
you
2:18
as
2:18
broken,
2:19
and
2:19
about
2:20
recovery
2:20
that
2:21
starts
2:21
with
2:21
small
2:22
shifts,
2:22
not
2:23
another
2:23
impossible
2:24
standard.
2:25
So
2:25
take
2:25
a
2:25
breath,
2:26
you're
2:26
in
2:26
the
2:27
right
2:27
place.
2:28
Let's
2:28
get
2:28
into
2:28
it.
2:29
Welcome
2:30
to
2:30
the
2:30
iconic
2:31
midlife.
2:32
Dr.
2:32
Emma
2:33
Jones.
2:33
How
2:34
are
2:34
you
2:34
doing
2:34
today?
2:36
I'm
2:36
doing
2:37
really
2:37
well.
2:38
I'm
2:38
here
2:38
in
2:39
Boston,
2:39
Massachusetts.
2:40
It's
2:40
a
2:40
little
2:41
snowy
2:41
today,
2:41
but
2:43
trying
2:43
to
2:44
capture
2:44
the
2:44
sun
2:44
as
2:45
much
2:45
as
2:45
possible.
2:47
That's
2:47
good.
2:47
My
2:48
husband
2:48
is
2:48
actually
2:49
from
2:49
Weston,
2:50
Massachusetts,
2:52
which
2:52
is,
2:53
you
2:53
know,
2:53
a
2:53
Suburb
2:54
of
2:54
Boston.
2:55
So
2:55
I've
2:55
spent
2:56
a
2:56
fair
2:56
amount
2:56
of
2:56
time
2:57
in
2:58
Massachusetts
2:58
myself.
2:59
I
3:00
like
3:00
it.
3:00
We've
3:00
been
3:00
here
3:00
for
3:01
quite
3:01
a
3:01
while
3:01
at
3:01
home
3:02
now.
3:02
I'm
3:03
originally
3:03
from
3:03
Louisiana.
3:04
People
3:04
always
3:05
ask,
3:05
you
3:06
don't
3:06
really
3:06
sound
3:06
like
3:07
you're
3:07
from
3:07
Boston.
3:07
I'm
3:08
like,
3:08
no,
3:08
no.
3:08
It's
3:08
a
3:08
New
3:08
Orleans
3:09
accent
3:09
you're
3:09
hearing.
3:10
Well,
3:10
I'm
3:11
so
3:11
glad
3:11
you're
3:11
here
3:12
today.
3:13
I've
3:13
been
3:13
watching,
3:14
you
3:14
know,
3:14
your
3:14
social
3:15
media,
3:15
and
3:16
really,
3:17
I
3:17
watched
3:17
a
3:17
lot
3:18
of
3:18
it
3:18
when
3:18
I
3:18
was
3:18
traveling
3:19
this
3:20
New
3:20
Year's.
3:20
And
3:21
when
3:21
I
3:21
was
3:21
away,
3:21
I
3:22
was
3:22
like,
3:22
you
3:22
know
3:22
what?
3:22
I'm
3:22
unplugging.
3:24
I'm
3:24
not
3:24
going
3:24
to
3:24
think
3:25
about
3:26
all
3:26
the
3:26
responsibilities
3:27
that
3:27
are
3:27
constantly
3:28
on
3:28
my
3:28
shoulders
3:30
24
3:30
7.
3:31
You
3:31
know,
3:31
being
3:32
a
3:32
mom,
3:33
a
3:33
wife,
3:33
a
3:33
friend,
3:34
a
3:34
business
3:35
owner.
3:35
There's
3:36
just,
3:36
you
3:36
know,
3:37
nothing.
3:37
It
3:37
never
3:38
stops.
3:38
Like,
3:38
I
3:38
could
3:39
always
3:39
be,
3:40
you
3:40
know,
3:41
working,
3:42
helping
3:42
somebody
3:43
else
3:43
out,
3:43
putting
3:44
somebody
3:44
else
3:44
basically,
3:45
or
3:45
something
3:45
else
3:46
ahead
3:46
of
3:46
me.
3:47
And
3:47
I
3:47
said,
3:47
you
3:47
know
3:47
what?
3:47
I'm
3:48
making
3:48
a
3:48
conscious
3:48
effort
3:49
this,
3:51
this
3:51
year
3:51
to
3:52
truly
3:52
unplug.
3:53
And
3:53
that
3:53
is
3:54
what
3:54
I
3:54
did.
3:55
And,
3:55
you
3:55
know,
3:56
it
3:56
was
3:56
interesting
3:56
because
3:57
I
3:57
posted
3:57
a
3:57
video
3:57
about
3:58
it
3:58
on
3:58
my
3:58
social
3:59
media
3:59
and
4:00
I
4:00
got
4:00
messages,
4:01
you
4:01
know,
4:02
from
4:02
women
4:02
that,
4:03
you
4:03
know,
4:04
some
4:04
were
4:04
like,
4:04
you
4:04
know,
4:05
that's
4:05
great.
4:05
You
4:05
know,
4:06
it's
4:06
something
4:06
that
4:06
I
4:06
practice,
4:07
too,
4:07
that
4:07
I'm
4:08
doing.
4:08
But
4:08
there
4:08
was
4:08
also
4:09
a
4:10
lot
4:10
of
4:10
guilt.
4:10
Like,
4:11
there
4:11
were
4:12
women,
4:12
you
4:12
know,
4:12
reaching
4:13
out,
4:13
saying,
4:13
oh,
4:13
I
4:13
wish
4:14
I
4:14
could,
4:14
you
4:15
know,
4:15
feel
4:16
not
4:16
guilty
4:17
if,
4:17
you
4:18
know,
4:18
I
4:18
take
4:18
time
4:18
for
4:18
myself
4:19
or
4:19
I.
4:19
If
4:20
I'm
4:20
doing
4:20
self
4:21
care.
4:22
And
4:22
I
4:22
thought,
4:22
God,
4:23
we
4:23
really
4:23
need
4:23
to
4:23
tackle
4:24
that
4:24
because
4:25
I
4:25
feel
4:25
like
4:25
self
4:26
care
4:26
is
4:26
not
4:26
a
4:26
bad
4:27
word.
4:27
It's
4:27
not
4:27
a
4:28
bad
4:28
word
4:28
to,
4:29
you
4:29
know,
4:30
take
4:30
time
4:30
for
4:30
yourself
4:30
to
4:31
unplug
4:32
and
4:32
reset.
4:33
I
4:33
mean,
4:33
it's
4:34
self
4:34
preservation.
4:35
And
4:36
so
4:37
from
4:37
your
4:37
perspective,
4:38
I
4:38
really
4:38
want
4:39
to
4:39
know,
4:39
you
4:40
know,
4:41
about
4:42
why
4:42
you
4:42
think,
4:42
you
4:43
know,
4:43
especially
4:43
women
4:44
in
4:44
midlife,
4:45
feel
4:45
that
4:45
guilt
4:46
and
4:46
that,
4:46
you
4:47
know,
4:47
you
4:47
know,
4:47
I
4:48
should
4:48
be
4:48
doing
4:48
this.
4:48
I
4:49
shouldn't
4:49
be
4:49
taking
4:50
time
4:50
for
4:50
myself
4:50
when
4:51
I
4:51
think
4:51
that
4:51
this
4:52
is
4:52
one
4:52
of
4:52
the
4:52
most
4:52
important
4:54
times
4:54
of
4:54
our
4:54
lives,
4:54
that
4:55
we
4:55
should
4:55
be
4:55
taking
4:56
time
4:56
for
4:56
ourselves.
4:58
Oh,
4:58
my
4:58
gosh,
4:59
this
4:59
is
4:59
such
4:59
an
4:59
important
5:00
problem
5:01
to
5:01
name
5:02
because
5:02
a
5:02
lot
5:03
of,
5:03
you
5:04
know,
5:04
know,
5:04
we
5:04
are
5:04
both
5:05
in
5:05
this
5:05
demographic
5:06
of
5:06
women
5:06
in
5:06
the
5:06
middle
5:07
of
5:07
their
5:07
lives.
5:08
Most
5:08
of
5:08
the
5:09
people
5:09
I
5:09
work
5:09
with
5:10
are
5:10
in
5:10
that
5:10
demographic
5:11
as
5:11
well.
5:12
And
5:13
should,
5:14
right?
5:14
You
5:14
just.
5:14
In
5:15
that
5:15
little
5:15
intro,
5:15
you
5:16
said
5:16
that
5:16
word
5:16
probably
5:17
10
5:17
times,
5:17
right?
5:18
Should
5:19
just
5:19
gets
5:20
us,
5:20
like,
5:20
more
5:20
than
5:21
anything,
5:21
I
5:21
should
5:21
be
5:22
doing
5:22
this.
5:22
I
5:23
should
5:23
be
5:23
feeling
5:23
this
5:24
Way.
5:24
I
5:25
mean,
5:25
and
5:25
in
5:25
all
5:25
the
5:26
ways
5:26
that
5:26
you
5:26
can't
5:27
even
5:27
escape
5:27
from
5:27
it
5:28
because
5:28
we
5:28
beat
5:28
ourselves
5:28
up
5:29
for
5:29
not
5:29
doing
5:29
enough,
5:30
but
5:30
then
5:30
we
5:30
beat
5:30
ourselves
5:31
up
5:31
for
5:31
doing
5:31
too
5:31
much.
5:33
It's
5:33
really
5:34
hard
5:35
to
5:35
escape
5:35
from
5:36
one
5:36
of
5:36
the
5:37
frames
5:37
that
5:37
I
5:38
like
5:38
that
5:38
I
5:38
think
5:39
that
5:39
kind
5:40
of
5:40
helps
5:40
us
5:40
break
5:40
out
5:41
of
5:41
that.
5:41
Is
5:41
starting
5:41
to
5:42
recognize
5:42
story,
5:43
right?
5:43
So
5:44
we
5:44
are
5:44
carrying
5:44
stories
5:45
that
5:46
we
5:46
were
5:46
handed
5:47
from
5:48
our
5:48
youth,
5:48
from
5:49
society,
5:50
perhaps
5:50
from
5:50
like,
5:51
our
5:52
culture
5:53
of
5:53
origin,
5:54
geographic
5:55
location
5:55
of
5:55
origin.
5:56
We
5:56
just
5:56
talked
5:56
about.
5:56
We
5:56
were
5:57
raised
5:57
in
5:57
the
5:57
South.
5:57
Southerners
5:58
are
5:58
gonna
5:58
carry
5:58
different
5:58
stories.
5:59
Stories.
6:00
Whether
6:00
you're
6:00
raised
6:00
in
6:01
the
6:01
US
6:01
or
6:01
or
6:02
elsewhere,
6:02
you're
6:02
carrying
6:03
a
6:03
lot
6:03
of
6:03
story.
6:04
So
6:05
identifying
6:06
that
6:06
is
6:07
often
6:07
the
6:07
first
6:08
step,
6:08
right?
6:08
Just
6:08
to
6:09
say
6:09
this
6:09
is
6:10
story.
6:11
And
6:11
then
6:11
the
6:12
freedom
6:12
that
6:12
comes
6:13
from
6:13
that
6:14
sometimes
6:15
is
6:15
the
6:15
first
6:16
step.
6:18
I
6:18
definitely.
6:19
The
6:19
work
6:19
that
6:19
I've
6:20
started
6:20
doing
6:20
recently
6:21
is
6:21
about,
6:22
you
6:22
know,
6:22
how
6:22
you
6:23
can
6:23
change
6:23
your
6:23
mind
6:23
and
6:24
the
6:24
power
6:24
of
6:24
being
6:24
able
6:25
to
6:25
change
6:25
your
6:25
mind.
6:27
And
6:27
recognizing
6:28
that
6:28
doesn't
6:28
just
6:28
mean,
6:28
like,
6:29
I
6:29
wanna
6:29
wear
6:29
purple
6:29
instead
6:30
of
6:30
pink,
6:30
but,
6:31
like,
6:31
I
6:31
can
6:31
really
6:32
change
6:32
the
6:32
way
6:33
that
6:33
I
6:33
think.
6:33
And
6:34
the
6:34
stories
6:34
that
6:34
I
6:34
carry
6:35
and
6:35
the
6:35
loops
6:36
that
6:36
my
6:36
mind
6:36
kind
6:37
of
6:37
automatically
6:37
goes
6:38
into
6:39
and
6:39
that
6:39
when
6:40
we
6:40
recognize
6:40
that
6:40
that
6:41
is
6:41
a
6:41
power
6:41
that
6:41
we
6:42
can
6:42
have,
6:43
we
6:43
can
6:43
really
6:43
start
6:44
to
6:44
get
6:45
out
6:45
of
6:45
that.
6:45
But
6:46
that
6:46
the
6:46
guilt
6:46
and
6:47
the
6:47
shoulding
6:48
is
6:48
definitely
6:48
something
6:49
that
6:49
I
6:49
hear
6:49
a
6:49
lot.
6:49
I'll
6:49
echo
6:50
that
6:50
100%.
6:51
Yeah.
6:51
You
6:52
know,
6:52
I'm
6:52
so
6:52
glad
6:52
you
6:52
brought
6:53
up
6:53
neuroplasticity
6:54
too,
6:54
because
6:55
it
6:55
is
6:55
possible
6:55
to
6:56
change
6:57
the
6:57
way
6:57
we
6:57
think,
6:57
you
6:58
know,
6:58
and
6:58
what
6:58
I
6:59
really
6:59
also
6:59
love,
7:01
really
7:01
caught
7:01
my
7:01
attention
7:02
when
7:02
I
7:02
was
7:02
looking
7:03
at
7:03
your
7:03
social
7:03
media,
7:04
is
7:04
that
7:05
you're
7:05
a
7:05
big
7:06
proponent
7:06
of
7:07
small
7:07
shifts
7:08
doing
7:09
little
7:09
things.
7:10
You
7:10
know,
7:10
each
7:10
day
7:11
it.
7:11
Like,
7:12
we're
7:12
to
7:13
where
7:13
it
7:13
isn't
7:13
overwhelming
7:14
because
7:15
I
7:15
feel
7:16
like,
7:16
especially
7:16
women
7:17
in
7:17
midlife,
7:18
you
7:18
know,
7:18
we
7:19
feel
7:19
the
7:20
responsibility
7:20
of
7:21
the
7:21
world
7:21
on
7:21
our
7:21
shoulders
7:22
most
7:22
of
7:22
the
7:22
time.
7:22
You
7:23
know,
7:23
we're
7:24
caregivers,
7:24
we're
7:25
business
7:25
owners,
7:26
we're
7:27
friends.
7:28
We
7:28
have
7:28
so
7:28
many
7:29
different
7:29
roles.
7:30
And
7:30
it's
7:30
sometimes
7:31
even
7:32
the
7:32
thought
7:32
of,
7:32
like,
7:33
doing
7:33
something
7:33
different
7:34
or
7:34
shifting,
7:35
you
7:35
know,
7:36
your
7:36
actions
7:37
or
7:37
your
7:37
perspective
7:38
can
7:38
seem
7:38
so
7:39
overwhelming
7:39
that,
7:39
no,
7:40
you
7:40
just.
7:40
You
7:40
give
7:40
up
7:41
before
7:41
you've
7:41
even
7:41
done
7:42
it.
7:43
So
7:43
let's
7:43
talk
7:43
a
7:44
little
7:44
bit
7:44
about
7:44
these
7:45
small
7:45
shifts,
7:46
which
7:46
I
7:46
think
7:47
are
7:47
so
7:47
important
7:48
in,
7:49
you
7:49
know,
7:50
in
7:50
this
7:50
time
7:50
of
7:50
our
7:51
lives.
7:51
The
7:52
background
7:52
that
7:52
I
7:53
bring
7:53
into
7:53
this
7:53
work
7:53
is
7:54
one
7:54
is
7:54
being
7:54
a
7:54
hospice
7:55
doctor
7:55
and
7:55
walking
7:56
with
7:56
people
7:56
until
7:56
the
7:57
end
7:57
of
7:57
their
7:57
lives
7:57
and
7:58
seeing
7:58
what.
7:58
What
7:59
regrets
7:59
they
8:00
have
8:00
and
8:00
what
8:00
they
8:00
talk
8:00
about.
8:01
The
8:01
other
8:02
is
8:02
working
8:02
in
8:03
health
8:03
systems.
8:04
So
8:04
why
8:04
is
8:05
small
8:05
incremental
8:05
change
8:06
so
8:06
important?
8:07
Whether
8:07
we
8:07
look
8:08
at
8:08
lots
8:08
of
8:08
examples,
8:09
you
8:09
know,
8:09
James
8:09
Clear's
8:10
Atomic
8:10
Habits
8:11
really
8:11
details
8:11
this
8:12
incredibly
8:13
well.
8:14
I
8:14
will
8:14
not
8:15
try
8:15
to
8:15
explain
8:15
this
8:16
better
8:16
than
8:16
he
8:16
did.
8:16
Just
8:17
read
8:17
that
8:17
book,
8:17
if
8:17
you
8:18
want
8:18
to
8:18
understand
8:18
this
8:18
concept.
8:19
But
8:20
that,
8:20
you
8:20
know,
8:20
he
8:20
gives
8:20
the
8:21
example
8:21
of
8:21
a
8:22
airplane
8:22
changing
8:22
its
8:23
heading
8:23
by
8:23
one
8:23
degree
8:24
and
8:24
that
8:24
it
8:24
ends
8:25
up,
8:25
like,
8:26
thousands
8:26
of
8:26
miles
8:26
off
8:27
course
8:27
just
8:27
by.
8:28
When
8:28
it
8:28
takes
8:28
off
8:29
from
8:29
Los
8:29
Angeles,
8:30
instead
8:30
of
8:31
landing
8:31
in
8:31
Boston,
8:32
it
8:32
lands
8:32
in,
8:32
like,
8:32
Antarctica
8:33
or
8:33
something
8:34
crazy
8:34
like
8:34
that.
8:35
Just
8:35
by
8:35
one
8:36
degree
8:36
off
8:36
by
8:37
one
8:37
degree.
8:37
Right.
8:38
So.
8:38
And
8:39
then
8:39
we
8:39
also
8:39
know,
8:39
like,
8:39
in
8:40
the
8:40
financial
8:40
world,
8:41
right,
8:41
we
8:42
put
8:42
in
8:42
$1
8:43
invested.
8:44
That
8:44
can
8:44
turn
8:44
into
8:45
compound
8:46
interest
8:46
and.
8:47
And
8:47
a
8:47
lot
8:47
more.
8:49
Our
8:49
own
8:49
investment
8:50
in
8:50
ourselves
8:51
has
8:51
the
8:51
same
8:52
effect.
8:53
So
8:53
whichever
8:54
metaphor
8:54
kind
8:54
of
8:55
resonates,
8:56
I
8:57
think
8:57
that
8:57
it's
8:58
pretty
8:58
easy
8:58
to
8:58
understand
8:59
or
8:59
hope
8:59
it.
8:59
Is
9:00
that
9:00
a
9:00
small
9:01
change.
9:01
It's
9:02
not
9:02
that
9:02
you
9:02
just
9:02
keep
9:03
doing
9:03
that
9:03
one
9:04
small
9:04
change.
9:04
It's
9:05
that
9:05
it
9:05
kind
9:05
of
9:05
like
9:05
dominoes
9:06
and
9:07
cycles
9:07
into
9:08
something
9:08
more
9:08
and
9:09
more
9:09
and
9:09
more
9:09
that
9:09
really
9:10
leads
9:11
to
9:11
the
9:11
big
9:11
and
9:12
powerful
9:12
thing
9:13
that
9:13
you
9:13
want.
9:16
It's
9:16
a
9:16
good
9:16
point,
9:17
you
9:17
know,
9:18
as
9:18
it
9:18
relates
9:19
to
9:19
burnout,
9:20
because
9:20
I
9:21
know
9:21
that
9:22
a
9:22
lot
9:22
of
9:22
women
9:23
are
9:23
feeling
9:24
this.
9:24
I
9:24
know
9:24
I
9:24
felt
9:25
this
9:25
especially
9:25
towards
9:26
the
9:26
end
9:26
of
9:26
the
9:26
year.
9:27
You
9:27
know,
9:27
you
9:27
just
9:28
are
9:28
like,
9:28
oh,
9:28
my
9:28
God.
9:29
Like,
9:29
I've
9:29
just.
9:29
I'm
9:30
tapped
9:30
out.
9:30
You
9:31
know,
9:31
like,
9:31
this
9:32
is
9:32
it.
9:32
But
9:33
I
9:33
think
9:33
it's
9:33
also
9:34
important
9:34
to
9:34
define
9:35
what
9:35
burnout
9:36
is,
9:36
because
9:37
does
9:38
burnout.
9:38
I
9:38
mean,
9:39
you
9:39
know,
9:40
I'm
9:40
sure
9:40
people
9:40
have
9:40
different.
9:41
It's
9:41
subjective.
9:41
People
9:42
are
9:42
burned
9:42
out
9:42
in
9:42
different
9:43
ways
9:43
and
9:43
have
9:43
varying
9:44
degrees
9:44
of
9:44
burnout.
9:45
But
9:47
for
9:47
you,
9:48
like,
9:48
how
9:48
would
9:48
you
9:49
define
9:49
burnout?
9:50
And
9:50
how
9:50
is
9:50
that
9:51
different
9:51
from,
9:51
like,
9:51
oh,
9:52
I'm
9:52
just
9:52
tired,
9:53
you
9:53
know,
9:53
I
9:53
just.
9:54
Just.
9:54
I'm,
9:54
like,
9:54
kind
9:54
of
9:54
over
9:55
it.
9:55
Like,
9:56
how.
9:56
How
9:56
is
9:56
it
9:57
different
9:57
than
9:57
having
9:58
just,
9:58
like,
9:58
kind
9:58
of
9:59
a
9:59
common.
10:00
Just.
10:00
I'm
10:00
tired
10:01
of
10:01
something.
10:02
Yeah,
10:02
I'm
10:02
tired
10:03
of
10:03
something.
10:03
Right.
10:03
Maybe
10:04
you're
10:04
just
10:04
bored
10:04
and
10:05
just
10:05
don't
10:06
like
10:06
that
10:06
anymore.
10:07
And.
10:08
And
10:08
burnout
10:08
can
10:09
sort
10:09
of
10:09
show
10:09
up
10:09
in
10:09
a
10:10
lot
10:10
of
10:10
different
10:10
ways.
10:10
There
10:11
is
10:11
sort
10:11
of
10:11
a
10:11
boredom
10:12
version
10:12
of
10:12
burnout
10:13
or
10:13
a
10:13
disengage
10:14
version
10:14
of
10:14
burnout.
10:15
It's
10:15
not
10:15
necessarily
10:16
this,
10:16
like,
10:17
reactive,
10:18
aggressive
10:19
version
10:19
of
10:19
burnout
10:20
that
10:20
we
10:20
might
10:21
think
10:21
about.
10:23
There's
10:23
lots
10:24
of
10:24
different
10:25
phenotypes,
10:26
if
10:26
you
10:26
will,
10:26
for
10:27
the
10:27
core
10:30
phenomenon.
10:31
But
10:32
it's
10:32
basically,
10:32
if
10:33
we
10:33
look.
10:33
I
10:33
mean,
10:33
there
10:33
is
10:34
a
10:34
case
10:34
definition
10:34
of
10:35
burnout.
10:35
It's
10:35
not
10:35
a
10:35
medical
10:36
Diagnosis.
10:37
It
10:37
is
10:38
a
10:38
research
10:38
definition
10:39
or
10:39
occupational
10:39
hazard
10:40
in
10:40
most
10:41
cases.
10:41
And
10:42
it
10:42
has
10:42
three
10:42
things.
10:42
And
10:43
I
10:43
think
10:43
that
10:43
those
10:43
three
10:43
things
10:44
really
10:44
help
10:44
us.
10:44
I
10:44
don't
10:45
want
10:45
to
10:45
get
10:45
too
10:46
researchy
10:46
here,
10:46
but
10:47
if
10:47
we
10:48
think
10:48
about
10:49
emotional
10:50
exhaustion,
10:51
so
10:51
that's
10:51
that
10:51
I'm
10:52
tired
10:52
and
10:52
sleep
10:52
doesn't
10:53
seem
10:53
to
10:53
help.
10:54
Right?
10:54
That
10:55
is
10:55
one
10:55
of
10:55
the
10:56
pillars
10:56
of
10:56
burnout.
10:57
The
10:57
other
10:57
one
10:57
is
10:57
cynicism
10:58
or
10:58
depersonalization,
11:00
where
11:00
you
11:00
kind
11:00
of
11:01
quit
11:01
seeing
11:01
yourself
11:02
and
11:02
others
11:02
as
11:03
even
11:03
human.
11:04
There's
11:04
just
11:04
the,
11:05
like,
11:05
I'm
11:05
just
11:05
going
11:05
through
11:06
the
11:06
motions.
11:07
You
11:07
get
11:07
mad
11:08
at
11:08
people
11:08
for
11:09
their
11:09
humanity,
11:10
right?
11:10
Like,
11:10
I
11:10
can't
11:11
believe
11:11
that
11:11
guy
11:11
can't
11:12
understand
11:12
that.
11:13
Or,
11:13
why
11:13
won't
11:13
my
11:13
kids
11:14
do
11:15
something
11:15
that's
11:15
perfectly
11:16
natural
11:16
for
11:16
kids
11:17
to
11:17
do?
11:17
Right?
11:19
We
11:19
have
11:19
all
11:19
these
11:20
sort
11:20
of
11:20
cynical
11:21
thoughts.
11:22
And
11:22
then
11:22
the
11:23
third
11:23
is
11:23
lack
11:23
of
11:23
fulfillment
11:24
and
11:24
purpose.
11:24
So
11:25
we
11:25
really
11:25
can't
11:25
connect
11:26
with,
11:27
why
11:27
are
11:27
we
11:28
even
11:28
here?
11:28
What's
11:28
even
11:29
the
11:29
point?
11:30
This
11:30
just
11:30
all
11:31
feels
11:31
hard
11:31
for
11:32
no
11:32
reason
11:33
kind
11:33
of
11:33
feeling.
11:34
So
11:34
those
11:35
three,
11:35
to
11:36
varying
11:36
degrees,
11:37
are
11:37
what
11:37
we
11:38
consider
11:38
the
11:38
burnout
11:39
triad.
11:40
Now,
11:40
why
11:40
does
11:40
it
11:40
show
11:40
up
11:41
almost
11:41
universally
11:42
in
11:42
women
11:42
in
11:43
midlife?
11:44
I
11:44
mean,
11:44
I
11:44
would
11:45
say
11:45
because,
11:45
like,
11:46
the
11:46
bill
11:46
is
11:46
coming
11:47
due
11:47
for
11:47
everything
11:48
that
11:48
we
11:48
learned
11:49
how
11:49
to
11:49
do
11:50
through
11:50
our
11:50
20s
11:51
and
11:51
30s.
11:51
Every
11:52
behavior
11:53
that
11:53
was
11:53
like
11:53
how
11:53
to
11:54
get
11:54
ahead
11:54
or
11:54
how
11:54
to
11:55
be
11:55
successful,
11:56
even
11:56
how
11:56
to
11:56
have
11:56
it
11:56
all
11:57
right,
11:57
Gotta
11:57
get
11:58
married,
11:58
have
11:58
kids,
11:59
have
11:59
a
11:59
successful
12:00
job,
12:01
work
12:01
out,
12:01
keep
12:01
up
12:02
your
12:02
health.
12:02
You
12:03
know,
12:03
all
12:03
the
12:03
things,
12:05
whoa.
12:06
And
12:06
now
12:06
we're
12:06
tired.
12:06
I
12:07
mean,
12:07
we've
12:07
been
12:07
doing
12:07
that
12:07
stuff
12:08
for
12:08
a
12:08
long
12:08
time.
12:08
And
12:09
the
12:09
bill
12:09
is
12:09
coming
12:09
due,
12:10
and
12:10
the
12:10
cost
12:11
for
12:11
all
12:11
of
12:11
that
12:12
stuff
12:13
is
12:13
coming
12:14
back
12:14
around.
12:15
People
12:15
who
12:15
are
12:16
high
12:16
achievers,
12:16
people
12:17
who
12:17
have
12:17
high
12:18
capacity
12:18
to
12:18
succeed,
12:19
is
12:20
going
12:20
to
12:20
hit
12:21
them
12:21
later.
12:21
Because
12:22
quite
12:22
honestly,
12:22
you
12:23
can
12:23
hide
12:23
it.
12:23
I
12:23
mean,
12:23
I
12:24
work
12:24
with
12:24
physicians
12:25
a
12:25
lot,
12:25
and
12:26
most
12:26
women
12:27
physicians
12:27
have
12:28
to
12:28
be
12:29
severely
12:29
burned
12:30
out,
12:30
like,
12:30
to
12:30
the
12:31
brink
12:31
of
12:31
being
12:31
admitted
12:32
to
12:32
the
12:32
hospital
12:33
for
12:33
physical
12:34
collapse
12:34
before
12:36
anything
12:36
will
12:36
show
12:37
on
12:37
the
12:37
outside.
12:37
Because
12:38
we're
12:38
just
12:38
so
12:39
good
12:39
at
12:39
running
12:39
crisis,
12:40
right?
12:42
And
12:42
that
12:43
most
12:43
high
12:43
achievers
12:44
in
12:44
other
12:44
fields
12:45
are
12:45
kind
12:45
of
12:45
in
12:45
the
12:45
same.
12:47
Have
12:47
adapted
12:47
those
12:48
same
12:48
traits.
12:49
But
12:49
again,
12:49
like,
12:49
the
12:49
bill
12:50
is
12:50
coming
12:50
due,
12:51
and
12:52
you
12:52
can
12:52
either
12:52
let
12:53
it
12:53
get
12:53
you
12:53
or
12:53
you
12:54
can
12:54
name
12:54
it
12:55
and
12:55
do
12:55
what
12:56
it
12:56
takes
12:56
to
12:57
recover,
12:57
which
12:58
is
12:58
the
12:58
rest,
12:58
and
12:59
the
12:59
unplugging
13:00
and
13:00
the
13:00
resetting
13:01
and
13:01
the
13:01
boundary
13:01
setting
13:02
and
13:02
kind
13:02
of
13:03
naming
13:04
what
13:04
you
13:04
actually
13:04
want,
13:05
not
13:05
kind
13:06
of
13:06
the
13:06
script
13:06
you've
13:07
been
13:07
running
13:07
or
13:07
the
13:07
blueprint
13:08
you've
13:08
been
13:08
living
13:09
on
13:09
for
13:10
all
13:11
of
13:11
these,
13:11
like,
13:11
your
13:12
entire
13:12
life
13:12
up
13:12
until
13:12
the
13:13
point
13:13
that
13:13
this
13:13
hits
13:14
you.
13:15
You
13:15
know,
13:15
I
13:15
think
13:15
a
13:15
lot
13:15
of
13:16
burnout,
13:16
too,
13:16
also
13:17
stems
13:17
from
13:18
the
13:18
idea
13:18
that
13:18
we
13:19
have
13:19
been
13:19
so
13:19
ingrained
13:20
with.
13:20
This
13:20
idea
13:21
that,
13:21
like,
13:21
you
13:22
can
13:22
have
13:22
it
13:22
all.
13:22
You
13:23
know,
13:23
all
13:23
you
13:23
have
13:23
to
13:23
do
13:23
is,
13:24
like,
13:24
work
13:24
your
13:25
ass
13:25
off
13:25
24
13:26
7.
13:26
You
13:26
know,
13:26
you
13:27
get
13:27
married
13:27
to
13:27
the
13:27
right
13:28
partner,
13:28
you
13:29
have
13:29
the
13:29
kids
13:29
or
13:29
you
13:30
don't
13:30
have
13:30
the.
13:30
You
13:30
know,
13:30
it's
13:31
just
13:31
like
13:31
there
13:31
are
13:31
all
13:32
ideas
13:32
that
13:32
we've
13:33
been
13:33
so
13:33
ingrained
13:34
with.
13:34
So
13:35
what
13:35
do
13:35
you
13:35
think?
13:36
Can
13:36
you
13:36
truly
13:37
have
13:37
it
13:37
all?
13:38
Well,
13:39
I
13:39
think
13:40
not.
13:41
The
13:42
question
13:42
is,
13:43
for
13:43
that,
13:43
we
13:43
have
13:43
to
13:43
make
13:44
sure
13:44
that
13:44
it
13:44
all
13:44
is
13:45
defined
13:45
by
13:46
internal
13:47
metrics
13:47
and
13:47
standards
13:48
and
13:48
not
13:48
external.
13:50
I
13:50
think
13:50
that
13:50
if
13:51
we
13:51
want
13:51
to
13:51
say
13:51
we
13:52
want
13:52
to
13:52
have
13:52
it
13:52
all
13:53
according
13:53
to
13:54
society's
13:54
metrics,
13:55
that
13:55
is
13:56
a
13:56
fool's
13:56
game.
13:56
We
13:57
are
13:57
going
13:57
to
13:57
fail
13:58
nine
13:58
ways
13:59
to
13:59
Sunday,
14:01
because
14:01
that
14:02
is
14:02
impossible.
14:03
Right?
14:03
I
14:03
mean,
14:03
we've
14:04
already
14:04
seen
14:04
this.
14:05
The
14:05
minute
14:06
you
14:06
succeed
14:06
at
14:07
something,
14:07
they
14:07
just
14:07
move
14:08
the
14:08
goalpost
14:08
and
14:08
say,
14:09
oh,
14:09
well,
14:09
now
14:09
you
14:09
have
14:09
to
14:10
do
14:10
this
14:10
other
14:10
thing
14:10
in
14:11
order
14:11
for
14:11
that
14:11
to
14:11
count.
14:12
Right?
14:12
You're
14:12
not
14:12
actually
14:13
succeeding.
14:14
Oh,
14:14
I'm
14:14
a
14:15
physician
14:16
mom,
14:16
and
14:16
I
14:16
have
14:16
to
14:16
married
14:17
a
14:17
stable
14:17
marriage,
14:18
and
14:18
I
14:18
have
14:18
two
14:18
kids.
14:19
Oh,
14:19
but
14:19
now
14:19
you're
14:20
not
14:20
taking
14:20
care
14:20
of
14:20
yourself
14:21
enough,
14:21
or
14:21
now
14:22
you're
14:22
not
14:22
involved
14:23
in
14:23
the
14:23
school.
14:24
You
14:24
know,
14:24
you're
14:24
not
14:24
a
14:24
school
14:25
mom
14:25
enough.
14:25
Right.
14:25
There's
14:26
always
14:26
something
14:26
else
14:27
that
14:27
you're
14:27
not
14:27
doing.
14:29
When
14:29
I
14:29
flipped
14:30
that
14:30
script
14:30
and
14:31
said,
14:31
nope,
14:32
I'm
14:32
not
14:32
a
14:32
school
14:32
mom.
14:33
I
14:34
go
14:34
to
14:34
work.
14:35
My
14:35
husband
14:36
and
14:36
I
14:36
share
14:36
parenting
14:37
responsibilities.
14:38
50,
14:38
50.
14:39
And
14:40
the
14:40
people
14:40
who
14:40
I'm
14:40
accountable
14:41
to
14:41
is,
14:41
like,
14:42
my
14:42
people
14:42
in
14:43
my
14:43
immediate
14:44
circle,
14:44
not
14:44
any
14:45
of
14:45
the
14:45
rest
14:45
of
14:45
you
14:46
clowns.
14:47
Then
14:47
all
14:47
of
14:47
a
14:47
sudden,
14:48
I
14:48
had
14:48
it
14:48
all,
14:48
right?
14:49
I
14:49
had
14:49
it
14:49
all.
14:50
Ooh.
14:50
I've
14:50
got,
14:51
like,
14:51
my
14:51
head
14:51
is
14:51
on
14:51
straight.
14:52
I
14:52
feel
14:52
great.
14:52
I'm
14:53
energetic.
14:53
I
14:54
love
14:54
my
14:54
life.
14:54
I
14:54
feel
14:55
super,
14:55
super
14:55
engaged
14:55
in
14:56
my
14:56
work.
14:56
My
14:57
family
14:57
is
14:57
thriving
14:58
and
14:58
my
14:58
body
14:58
is
14:59
healthy.
15:01
Once,
15:01
it
15:01
was
15:01
my
15:02
plan.
15:04
So,
15:04
yes
15:04
with
15:05
the.
15:05
But
15:05
no
15:05
with
15:06
a
15:06
maybe
15:06
is
15:06
my
15:07
answer
15:07
to
15:07
that
15:07
question.
15:09
Yeah,
15:09
you
15:10
know,
15:10
I
15:10
think
15:10
it's
15:10
funny,
15:11
too,
15:11
because,
15:11
like,
15:12
you're
15:12
saying,
15:12
you
15:12
know,
15:12
you
15:13
can
15:13
have
15:13
all
15:13
these
15:13
things
15:14
that,
15:15
you
15:15
know,
15:15
on
15:16
paper
15:16
or
15:16
in
15:16
your
15:17
mind,
15:17
you
15:17
know,
15:17
were
15:18
the
15:18
things
15:18
you've
15:18
always
15:19
wanted.
15:20
But
15:20
then
15:20
you
15:20
can
15:21
still
15:21
feel
15:21
this
15:22
sense
15:22
of,
15:22
like,
15:23
you
15:23
know,
15:24
burnout
15:24
and,
15:25
you
15:25
know,
15:25
really
15:26
just
15:26
not
15:26
being
15:28
in
15:28
it,
15:28
you
15:28
know,
15:29
and
15:29
just
15:29
really
15:29
kind
15:30
of
15:30
losing
15:30
yourself.
15:31
So
15:32
why
15:33
do
15:33
you
15:33
think
15:33
that
15:33
that
15:34
happens?
15:34
Like,
15:35
why
15:35
can
15:35
you
15:35
feel
15:36
like
15:36
you
15:36
have
15:36
it
15:36
all?
15:37
And
15:37
especially
15:38
in
15:38
midlife,
15:38
right
15:39
like,
15:39
why
15:39
can
15:40
we
15:40
feel
15:40
like
15:40
the
15:41
things,
15:41
you
15:41
know,
15:42
we
15:42
have
15:42
this
15:42
exper,
15:43
this
15:43
age
15:43
experience,
15:44
this
15:44
knowledge
15:44
in
15:45
our
15:45
life,
15:45
you
15:45
know,
15:45
it's
15:46
like
15:46
we've
15:46
hit
15:47
some
15:47
goals,
15:47
like
15:48
it's,
15:48
it
15:48
should
15:48
be
15:49
good,
15:50
a
15:50
good
15:50
path,
15:51
but
15:51
yet
15:53
we're
15:53
still
15:53
unhappy
15:54
a
15:54
lot
15:54
of
15:55
the
15:55
time,
15:55
you
15:55
know,
15:56
and
15:56
we
15:56
sometimes
15:57
can't
15:57
even
15:57
identify
15:58
ourselves.
15:58
So
15:59
why
15:59
do
15:59
you
15:59
think
15:59
that
16:00
happens
16:00
right
16:00
now?
16:01
Yeah,
16:02
you
16:02
know,
16:02
I
16:02
think
16:02
this
16:02
is
16:03
happening
16:04
as
16:04
the
16:04
world
16:05
is
16:05
getting
16:05
busier,
16:06
as
16:07
our
16:07
attention
16:08
is
16:08
being
16:08
split
16:09
so
16:09
many
16:09
places.
16:10
I
16:10
mean,
16:12
I
16:12
don't
16:12
know.
16:12
I
16:13
don't
16:13
know.
16:13
I
16:13
mean,
16:13
I
16:13
don't
16:14
know.
16:14
This
16:14
is
16:14
the
16:14
only
16:14
time
16:14
I've
16:15
ever
16:15
lived
16:15
in.
16:16
But
16:16
I
16:16
can
16:16
imagine
16:17
that
16:18
people
16:18
who
16:18
lived
16:19
50
16:19
years
16:20
ago
16:20
in
16:20
which
16:20
information
16:21
was
16:21
much
16:22
less
16:23
available
16:24
may
16:24
not
16:24
have
16:24
felt
16:25
as
16:25
much
16:25
insecurity
16:26
because
16:28
they
16:28
didn't
16:28
have
16:28
as
16:29
many
16:29
people
16:29
telling
16:30
them
16:30
that
16:30
they
16:30
weren't
16:30
doing
16:31
the
16:31
right
16:31
thing.
16:31
Right.
16:31
Right
16:32
now
16:32
we
16:32
just
16:32
have
16:33
an
16:34
abundant,
16:34
like
16:35
infinite
16:35
source
16:36
of
16:36
data
16:36
coming
16:37
at
16:37
us
16:37
all
16:37
the
16:37
time,
16:38
basically
16:38
saying,
16:38
I
16:39
don't
16:39
like
16:39
what
16:39
you're
16:39
doing.
16:40
Because
16:40
for
16:40
every
16:40
person
16:41
who
16:41
agrees
16:41
with
16:41
you,
16:41
there's
16:42
like
16:42
equally
16:42
as
16:42
many
16:43
people
16:43
who
16:43
don't.
16:45
So
16:46
that's
16:46
one
16:46
thing
16:47
that
16:47
I
16:47
think
16:47
is
16:47
definitely
16:48
present
16:48
in
16:48
2026
16:49
is
16:50
the
16:50
just
16:50
amount
16:51
of
16:51
noise
16:51
that
16:51
we're
16:52
having
16:52
to
16:52
contend
16:52
with
16:53
is
16:53
at
16:53
an
16:53
all
16:53
time
16:54
high.
16:56
The
16:56
antidote
16:56
to
16:57
that
16:57
is
16:57
internal
16:57
resource.
16:58
Right.
16:58
If
16:59
we
16:59
can
17:00
listen
17:00
to
17:00
ourselves,
17:01
then
17:01
it
17:01
doesn't
17:01
matter
17:02
how
17:02
much
17:02
noise
17:02
there
17:03
is
17:03
because
17:04
we
17:04
sort
17:04
of
17:04
know
17:04
how
17:04
to
17:05
filter
17:05
it
17:05
and
17:05
we
17:05
know
17:06
how
17:06
to
17:07
sort
17:07
it.
17:08
But
17:09
that
17:09
also
17:09
because
17:11
of
17:11
kind
17:11
of
17:12
the
17:12
pull
17:12
of
17:12
society
17:13
and
17:13
culture,
17:15
we've
17:15
kind
17:15
of
17:15
lost
17:16
attention
17:16
to
17:16
that.
17:18
One
17:18
thing
17:19
that
17:19
I
17:19
think
17:19
I
17:19
was
17:20
missing,
17:20
or
17:20
I
17:20
know
17:20
I
17:20
was
17:20
missing,
17:21
was
17:21
kind
17:22
of
17:22
like
17:22
a
17:22
spiritual
17:23
core
17:24
soul,
17:25
if
17:25
you
17:25
will.
17:27
And
17:27
that
17:28
as
17:28
people,
17:29
modern
17:30
society
17:30
has
17:31
kind
17:31
of
17:31
moved
17:31
away
17:32
from
17:32
traditional
17:35
systems
17:36
that
17:36
we
17:36
may
17:37
have
17:37
connected
17:37
with
17:37
spirit
17:38
through
17:39
organized
17:39
religion
17:40
or
17:40
through
17:40
family
17:41
systems
17:41
or
17:42
through
17:43
communal
17:44
organizations.
17:45
Like
17:45
lots
17:45
of
17:45
things,
17:46
right,
17:46
have
17:46
kind
17:46
of
17:47
changed.
17:47
I
17:48
do
17:48
feel
17:48
like
17:48
that
17:48
fracture,
17:49
fracturing
17:50
or
17:50
kind
17:51
of
17:51
like
17:51
diluting
17:52
of
17:53
some
17:53
rituals
17:54
and
17:54
some
17:54
practices
17:55
that
17:55
actually
17:55
help
17:55
us
17:56
connect
17:56
with
17:56
ourselves
17:57
and
17:57
people
17:57
around
17:57
us
17:58
that
17:58
tell
17:58
us
17:58
that
17:58
that's
17:58
a
17:58
good
17:59
thing
17:59
to
17:59
do
18:00
is
18:00
actually
18:00
not
18:01
that
18:02
common
18:02
in
18:02
society
18:03
right
18:03
now.
18:04
And
18:04
why
18:06
things
18:07
like
18:07
this
18:08
podcast
18:09
or
18:09
the
18:09
coaching
18:10
spaces
18:10
that
18:10
I
18:11
hold,
18:12
retreats,
18:12
you
18:12
know,
18:13
why
18:13
these,
18:13
these
18:13
types
18:14
of
18:14
things
18:14
feel
18:14
so
18:15
necessary?
18:16
Because
18:16
we
18:16
don't
18:16
really
18:17
have
18:18
those
18:18
things
18:19
that
18:19
may
18:19
have
18:19
been
18:19
like
18:20
the
18:20
more
18:20
natural
18:20
gathering
18:21
places
18:21
where,
18:22
where
18:22
women,
18:22
the
18:23
sewing
18:23
circle
18:23
or
18:24
something
18:25
where
18:25
women
18:25
may
18:25
have
18:26
come
18:26
together
18:26
and
18:26
been
18:27
like
18:28
yeah,
18:28
my
18:29
humanity
18:29
feels
18:29
like
18:29
it's
18:30
being
18:30
questioned.
18:30
Here
18:30
is
18:30
yours.
18:32
How
18:32
about
18:32
you
18:35
bring
18:36
back
18:36
more
18:36
of
18:36
those
18:37
circles?
18:38
Yes.
18:38
I
18:39
really
18:39
encourage
18:39
people
18:40
to
18:40
find
18:40
some
18:41
reconnection
18:42
with
18:42
spirit.
18:44
And
18:44
this
18:44
was
18:45
brought
18:45
into
18:45
really
18:47
sharp
18:47
relief
18:47
for
18:48
me
18:48
through
18:48
my
18:49
work
18:49
with
18:49
patients.
18:50
When
18:50
people
18:51
are
18:51
dying,
18:52
all
18:52
of
18:52
the
18:52
surface
18:53
stuff
18:53
is
18:53
kind
18:54
of
18:54
gone,
18:54
right?
18:55
Like,
18:55
what
18:55
are
18:55
you?
18:56
Who
18:56
are
18:56
you
18:57
right
18:57
now?
18:57
Your.
18:58
Your
18:58
identity,
18:58
job,
18:59
what
18:59
you
18:59
did
18:59
for
19:00
work
19:00
does
19:00
not
19:00
matter
19:00
to
19:01
me
19:02
whether
19:02
you
19:03
wrote
19:03
books
19:03
or
19:03
whether
19:03
you
19:04
were
19:04
famous
19:04
or
19:04
like,
19:05
all
19:05
of
19:05
that
19:05
is
19:06
gone,
19:06
right?
19:06
Like,
19:07
what
19:07
is
19:07
right
19:07
in
19:08
front
19:08
of
19:08
me
19:08
and
19:08
between
19:09
us
19:10
is
19:10
really
19:10
this
19:10
sort
19:11
of
19:11
deep
19:11
spiritual
19:12
level.
19:13
I
19:13
also
19:13
work
19:13
with
19:14
children
19:14
who
19:14
have
19:14
severe
19:15
neurologic
19:15
impairment,
19:16
can't
19:16
communicate,
19:18
and
19:18
have,
19:19
you
19:19
know,
19:19
severe
19:19
disability.
19:21
And
19:21
so
19:21
being
19:22
able
19:22
to
19:22
sort
19:22
of
19:22
connect
19:23
and
19:23
find
19:24
the
19:24
way
19:24
to
19:24
connect
19:25
to
19:25
them,
19:25
human
19:26
to
19:26
human,
19:27
really,
19:28
through
19:28
both
19:28
of
19:28
those
19:29
experiences,
19:30
was
19:32
part
19:32
of
19:32
what
19:32
made
19:32
it
19:33
very
19:33
clear
19:33
to
19:33
me
19:33
that
19:34
this
19:34
spiritual
19:34
aspect,
19:35
not
19:35
only
19:36
of
19:36
connection
19:36
with
19:36
others,
19:37
but
19:37
with
19:37
connection
19:37
to
19:38
ourselves,
19:39
was
19:39
what
19:39
gets
19:39
quite
19:40
diluted
19:40
and
19:41
covered
19:41
up
19:41
in
19:41
modern
19:42
society
19:42
and
19:43
why
19:44
we
19:44
feel
19:45
so
19:45
pulled
19:45
to
19:46
look
19:46
to
19:46
external
19:47
validation,
19:48
right?
19:48
Like,
19:48
what
19:48
am
19:48
I
19:49
supposed
19:49
to
19:49
be
19:49
doing?
19:50
What
19:51
do
19:51
you
19:51
want
19:51
to
19:51
be
19:51
doing?
19:52
Right?
19:52
Like
19:52
connect
19:52
to
19:52
yourself.
19:55
But
19:55
I.
19:55
But
19:55
I
19:55
find
19:55
that
19:56
that
19:56
spiritual,
19:56
like,
19:56
there's
19:57
two
19:57
groups,
19:57
right?
19:57
There's
19:58
people
19:58
who
19:58
are
19:58
like,
19:59
very
19:59
into
19:59
the
19:59
spiritual
20:00
wooey
20:00
stuff
20:01
and
20:01
adapt
20:01
that
20:01
really
20:03
readily.
20:03
And
20:04
then
20:04
there
20:04
are
20:04
people
20:05
that
20:05
are
20:05
the
20:05
more
20:05
corporate
20:07
types.
20:08
A
20:08
lot
20:08
of
20:08
people
20:08
in
20:08
medicine
20:09
are
20:09
this
20:09
way
20:09
that
20:09
are
20:10
like,
20:10
that's
20:11
fantastical
20:12
or
20:12
silly
20:12
or
20:13
something
20:13
that
20:13
they
20:13
kind
20:14
of
20:14
reject
20:14
and
20:14
doesn't
20:15
feel.
20:15
Feel
20:15
like
20:15
it's
20:16
theirs.
20:17
But
20:17
that.
20:17
I
20:17
do
20:17
feel
20:18
like
20:18
that
20:18
that's.
20:19
That's
20:19
driving
20:19
the
20:20
burnout.
20:20
Because
20:20
that
20:20
meaning
20:21
and
20:21
purpose,
20:21
right,
20:22
is
20:22
part
20:22
of
20:22
it.
20:22
If
20:23
we
20:23
want
20:23
to
20:23
attach
20:23
to
20:24
meaning
20:24
and
20:24
purpose,
20:25
we
20:25
have
20:25
to
20:25
attach
20:25
to
20:26
something
20:26
beyond
20:27
like,
20:28
what
20:28
we
20:28
do
20:28
for
20:28
money
20:29
and
20:30
whether
20:30
people
20:30
know
20:30
who
20:31
we
20:31
are
20:31
or
20:31
not,
20:31
like,
20:32
that
20:32
can't
20:32
be
20:33
all
20:33
of
20:33
us.
20:35
And
20:35
you
20:35
know,
20:36
at
20:36
the
20:36
base
20:36
of
20:36
it,
20:36
like
20:37
you're
20:37
saying
20:37
is
20:37
connection
20:38
is
20:38
so
20:38
important,
20:39
you
20:39
know,
20:39
whether
20:39
that
20:40
be,
20:40
obviously,
20:41
you
20:41
know,
20:41
you
20:41
want
20:41
to
20:41
have
20:42
connection
20:42
with
20:42
those
20:42
you
20:43
love
20:43
around
20:43
you,
20:44
but
20:44
connection
20:44
with
20:45
yourself,
20:45
self.
20:46
I
20:46
mean,
20:47
that
20:47
I
20:48
feel
20:48
like
20:48
that
20:48
is
20:49
so
20:49
big.
20:49
And
20:50
that
20:50
is
20:50
something
20:50
that
20:50
just
20:51
for
20:51
some
20:51
reason
20:52
at
20:52
this
20:52
time
20:52
in
20:53
life,
20:53
it
20:53
just.
20:54
We
20:54
become
20:54
disconnected
20:55
with
20:55
ourselves,
20:56
you
20:56
know.
20:57
So,
20:57
like,
20:57
what
20:58
are
20:58
some
20:58
of
20:58
the
20:59
small
20:59
changes
21:01
that
21:01
we
21:01
can
21:01
do
21:02
to
21:02
reconnect
21:03
with
21:03
ourselves?
21:05
There
21:05
you
21:05
go.
21:05
Small
21:05
changes.
21:06
That's
21:06
where
21:06
that's
21:07
the
21:07
great
21:08
way
21:08
to
21:08
start.
21:09
I
21:09
often
21:10
encourage
21:10
people
21:10
to
21:11
make
21:11
that
21:11
one
21:11
small
21:12
change.
21:12
I
21:12
Use
21:12
the
21:13
frame
21:13
of
21:13
keystone
21:14
change,
21:15
meaning
21:15
that
21:16
it's
21:16
a
21:16
small
21:16
change,
21:17
but
21:17
it's
21:17
going
21:17
to
21:17
lead
21:18
to
21:18
those
21:18
bigger
21:18
changes.
21:19
It's
21:19
going
21:19
to
21:19
have
21:19
that
21:20
domino
21:20
effect.
21:22
And
21:22
the
21:22
small
21:23
changes
21:23
that
21:23
often
21:24
are
21:24
really
21:24
important
21:25
are
21:26
physical
21:26
health.
21:27
I
21:28
will
21:28
say
21:28
brain
21:29
health
21:29
is
21:29
body
21:29
health.
21:30
So
21:30
if
21:30
we
21:30
want
21:30
to
21:30
make
21:30
our
21:31
brains
21:31
happier,
21:31
our
21:31
minds
21:32
happier,
21:33
less
21:33
reactive,
21:35
calmer,
21:35
all
21:36
of
21:36
that,
21:37
sometimes
21:38
starting
21:39
with
21:39
attending
21:39
to
21:39
our
21:40
bodies
21:40
is
21:41
the
21:41
easiest
21:41
place
21:42
to
21:42
start.
21:42
Right.
21:42
What
21:43
do
21:43
I
21:43
need
21:43
to
21:43
do?
21:43
I
21:43
need
21:44
to
21:44
sleep,
21:44
I
21:44
need
21:45
to
21:45
hydrate,
21:45
I
21:46
need
21:46
to
21:46
eat
21:46
nourishing
21:47
food.
21:48
This
21:48
is
21:48
not
21:48
diet
21:49
culture
21:49
nonsense.
21:50
I'm
21:50
just
21:50
talking
21:50
like
21:51
get
21:51
the
21:52
nutrients
21:52
that
21:53
you
21:53
need.
21:53
I
21:53
mean,
21:54
many
21:54
of
21:54
my
21:54
clients
21:55
will
21:55
go
21:55
for
21:55
an
21:56
entire
21:56
day
21:56
without
21:56
eating
21:57
or
21:57
drinking
21:57
anything.
22:00
It's
22:00
crazy,
22:00
right?
22:01
I'm
22:01
like,
22:01
how
22:01
did
22:01
you
22:01
think,
22:02
how
22:02
did
22:02
you
22:02
think
22:03
the
22:03
machine
22:03
was
22:03
running
22:04
properly
22:04
if
22:04
you
22:04
don't
22:05
put
22:05
any
22:05
fuel
22:05
in?
22:07
Right,
22:07
right,
22:08
exactly.
22:09
So
22:09
those
22:09
are
22:09
often
22:10
like
22:11
small
22:11
changes
22:11
that
22:12
we
22:12
can
22:12
start
22:12
with.
22:13
Are
22:13
we
22:13
actually
22:13
taking
22:14
care
22:14
of
22:14
ourselves
22:15
in
22:15
the
22:15
most
22:15
basic
22:16
of
22:16
ways
22:17
with
22:17
the
22:18
body
22:18
health,
22:19
movement,
22:20
sunshine
22:22
and.
22:22
Right.
22:22
Brain
22:23
activities,
22:23
which
22:24
are
22:24
the
22:24
creative
22:24
activities.
22:25
So
22:25
that's
22:26
what
22:26
I
22:26
kind
22:26
of
22:26
think
22:26
of
22:27
as
22:28
the
22:28
drivers
22:29
of
22:29
capacity.
22:30
When
22:30
we
22:31
talk
22:31
about
22:31
capacity,
22:32
that's
22:32
sort
22:32
of
22:32
our
22:32
ability
22:33
to
22:33
hold
22:33
stress,
22:34
to
22:34
do
22:35
hard
22:35
things.
22:35
How
22:36
much
22:36
capacity
22:37
do
22:37
we
22:37
have
22:37
to
22:37
do
22:37
anything?
22:39
Taking
22:39
good
22:39
care
22:40
on
22:40
those
22:41
domains
22:41
helps
22:42
us
22:42
build
22:43
capacity.
22:43
So
22:44
I
22:44
usually
22:44
tell
22:44
people
22:45
to
22:45
pick
22:45
one
22:45
thing
22:46
and
22:46
one
22:46
of
22:46
those
22:46
things
22:47
is
22:47
it
22:47
going
22:47
to
22:47
be,
22:48
and
22:48
then
22:48
scope
22:48
it
22:49
as
22:49
small
22:49
as
22:50
possible.
22:50
So
22:51
if
22:51
we're
22:51
working
22:51
on
22:51
sleep,
22:52
that's
22:52
going
22:52
to
22:53
be
22:53
like
22:54
set
22:54
a
22:54
bedtime.
22:55
I
22:56
mean,
22:56
I
22:56
don't
22:56
care
22:56
if
22:57
you
22:57
actually
22:57
sleep.
22:57
Let's
22:58
just
22:58
start
22:58
with,
22:59
I'm
22:59
going
22:59
to
22:59
get
22:59
a
23:00
bed
23:00
at
23:00
a
23:00
certain
23:00
time.
23:01
For
23:01
many
23:01
people
23:01
that
23:02
is
23:02
a
23:02
drastic
23:02
change
23:03
to
23:03
their
23:03
lifestyle.
23:05
Um,
23:05
if
23:06
that's
23:06
nutrition,
23:07
is
23:07
that
23:08
gonna
23:08
be,
23:08
you
23:08
know,
23:08
focus
23:08
on
23:09
eating
23:09
five
23:09
fruits
23:10
and
23:10
vegetables,
23:11
Forget
23:11
about
23:12
the
23:12
whole
23:12
rest
23:12
of
23:13
everything
23:13
else
23:13
that
23:13
you're
23:13
eating,
23:14
Right.
23:14
Like,
23:14
like
23:14
just
23:14
focus
23:15
on
23:15
that
23:15
one
23:15
thing.
23:16
Hydration's
23:17
a
23:17
pretty
23:17
easy
23:18
one.
23:18
Lots
23:18
of
23:18
people
23:18
love
23:18
to
23:19
start
23:19
with
23:19
hydration.
23:19
We
23:20
seem
23:20
to
23:20
be
23:20
a
23:20
hydration
23:21
obsessed
23:21
culture.
23:22
But
23:22
if
23:24
you
23:24
can
23:24
do
23:24
it
23:25
intentionally,
23:26
right.
23:26
Like
23:26
you
23:26
can
23:27
build
23:27
that
23:27
story.
23:28
Like,
23:28
I'm
23:28
drinking
23:29
to
23:29
nourish
23:30
myself,
23:30
which
23:30
is
23:31
going
23:31
to
23:31
help
23:31
me.
23:34
Then
23:34
it's
23:34
not
23:34
just
23:34
like
23:35
I'm
23:35
compulsively
23:36
drinking
23:37
water,
23:38
I'm
23:38
hydrating
23:39
to
23:39
help
23:40
myself.
23:40
As
23:40
an
23:41
act
23:41
of
23:41
self
23:41
care,
23:41
as
23:42
an
23:42
act
23:42
of
23:42
self
23:43
nourishment.
23:45
Right.
23:45
Brain
23:45
activities
23:46
is
23:46
often
23:46
the
23:47
hardest
23:47
one
23:47
to
23:47
access.
23:48
So
23:48
I
23:48
usually
23:48
leave
23:49
that
23:49
one
23:49
Till
23:49
a
23:49
little
23:50
bit
23:50
later.
23:50
A
23:50
lot
23:51
of
23:51
people,
23:51
I
23:51
mean,
23:51
creative
23:52
types
23:52
are
23:52
like,
23:52
yeah,
23:53
great,
23:53
I
23:53
want
23:53
to
23:53
make
23:54
art.
23:54
But
23:55
corporate
23:56
people
23:56
are
23:57
kind
23:57
of
23:57
like,
23:57
what?
23:58
You
23:58
want
23:58
me
23:58
to
23:58
make
23:58
art?
24:02
Movement
24:02
is
24:03
easy,
24:03
right?
24:04
Go
24:04
for
24:04
a
24:04
walk.
24:06
Walk
24:06
outside
24:06
is
24:06
double.
24:07
Because
24:07
it's
24:07
both
24:08
getting
24:08
sunshine
24:09
and
24:09
moving
24:09
your
24:09
body.
24:10
And
24:10
then
24:10
if
24:10
you
24:10
drink
24:11
a
24:11
glass
24:11
of
24:11
water
24:11
when
24:11
you
24:11
get
24:12
back,
24:12
wow,
24:12
you've
24:12
done
24:13
three
24:13
things.
24:14
So
24:14
we
24:14
look
24:15
for
24:15
things
24:15
that
24:16
are
24:16
multiple
24:16
wins.
24:17
We
24:17
look
24:17
for
24:17
things
24:17
that
24:18
are
24:18
so
24:18
easy,
24:18
it's
24:19
stupid.
24:22
Work
24:22
through
24:22
the
24:22
resistance
24:23
of.
24:23
That
24:23
couldn't
24:24
possibly
24:24
be
24:24
a
24:24
big
24:25
enough
24:25
change.
24:25
Because
24:26
especially
24:26
this
24:26
time
24:26
of
24:27
year
24:27
when
24:27
we're
24:27
all
24:27
like,
24:28
resolution
24:28
obsessed.
24:30
We
24:30
gotta
24:30
go
24:30
big,
24:31
right?
24:31
I
24:31
heard
24:31
about
24:32
this
24:32
thing
24:32
called.
24:32
My
24:33
kids
24:33
were
24:33
telling
24:33
me
24:33
about
24:34
it
24:34
75
24:34
hard.
24:35
I'm
24:35
like,
24:36
oh,
24:36
my
24:36
God,
24:36
that
24:36
sounds
24:36
so
24:36
stupid.
24:37
Don't
24:37
do
24:37
that.
24:38
That
24:38
it's
24:39
supposed
24:39
to.
24:39
What
24:39
is
24:39
it?
24:39
What
24:40
is
24:40
that
24:40
supposed
24:40
to
24:41
do?
24:41
It's
24:41
like
24:41
this
24:41
whole
24:43
menu.
24:44
Not
24:44
a
24:44
menu,
24:44
like
24:45
protocol,
24:45
of,
24:46
like,
24:46
all
24:46
of
24:46
these
24:46
things,
24:47
exercises
24:48
and
24:48
diet
24:49
plan
24:49
and
24:49
all
24:49
this
24:49
stuff
24:50
you're
24:50
supposed
24:50
to
24:50
do
24:50
for
24:50
75
24:51
days
24:51
straight.
24:53
No,
24:54
no,
24:54
no,
24:54
no,
24:54
no.
24:54
Don't
24:55
do
24:55
that.
24:56
You're
24:56
like,
24:56
pass
24:56
on
24:56
that.
24:58
365
25:00
medium
25:01
or
25:01
easy.
25:02
Ish
25:02
is
25:03
kind
25:03
of
25:03
what
25:03
we're
25:03
going
25:04
for,
25:04
right?
25:05
And
25:06
really
25:06
thinking
25:07
about
25:07
the
25:08
intentionality,
25:08
because
25:09
I
25:09
think
25:09
that
25:09
starting
25:10
with
25:10
the
25:10
small
25:10
change
25:11
is
25:11
important,
25:12
but
25:12
we
25:12
also
25:12
want
25:13
to
25:13
make
25:13
sure
25:13
we're
25:14
still
25:14
connecting
25:14
to.
25:15
Why?
25:16
Because
25:17
not.
25:17
This
25:18
is
25:18
another
25:18
from
25:18
the
25:19
improvement
25:19
science.
25:20
Not
25:20
every
25:21
change
25:21
is
25:21
an
25:21
improvement.
25:22
Right.
25:23
We
25:23
need
25:23
to
25:23
know
25:24
if
25:24
we're
25:24
actually
25:24
moving
25:25
in
25:25
the
25:25
right
25:25
direction.
25:25
We
25:26
could
25:26
be
25:26
changing
25:26
things
25:26
that
25:27
are
25:27
actually
25:27
taking
25:27
us
25:28
away
25:28
from
25:29
our
25:29
ultimate
25:29
goal
25:30
or
25:30
digging
25:30
us
25:31
further
25:31
into
25:31
the
25:32
hole,
25:32
which
25:33
is
25:33
what
25:33
I
25:33
think
25:33
would
25:34
happen
25:34
if
25:34
anybody
25:34
tried
25:35
75
25:35
hard.
25:36
You'd
25:36
probably
25:36
just
25:37
make
25:37
yourself
25:37
more
25:38
frustrated
25:38
and
25:38
exhausted
25:39
and
25:40
set
25:41
off
25:41
a
25:41
shame
25:41
spiral
25:42
that
25:42
you.
25:42
You
25:42
failed
25:43
at
25:43
yet
25:43
another
25:43
thing.
25:44
Well,
25:44
of
25:45
course
25:45
you
25:45
did,
25:45
because
25:45
everybody's
25:46
going
25:46
to,
25:46
because
25:46
that's
25:46
a
25:46
stupid
25:47
idea.
25:47
Don't
25:47
do
25:47
that.
25:49
I'm
25:49
usually
25:50
not
25:50
quite
25:50
that
25:50
opinionated,
25:51
but
25:51
that
25:51
one's
25:52
really.
25:52
It
25:52
really
25:52
upsets
25:53
me.
25:55
Absolutely.
25:56
Well,
25:56
it
25:56
does
25:56
sound
25:56
upsetting,
25:57
too.
25:57
I'm
25:57
like,
25:58
ooh,
25:58
that
25:59
doesn't
25:59
sound
25:59
good.
25:59
Yeah,
26:00
it
26:00
sounds
26:01
very
26:01
stressful,
26:01
which
26:02
is
26:02
something
26:02
we're
26:02
trying
26:03
to
26:03
not
26:03
add
26:04
to
26:04
our
26:04
lives.
26:04
Right.
26:05
I
26:05
know.
26:05
I
26:06
think
26:06
women
26:06
in
26:06
midlife.
26:07
My
26:07
wish
26:08
for
26:08
all
26:08
of
26:08
us
26:09
is
26:09
ease.
26:10
That's
26:10
my
26:10
word
26:10
for
26:11
2026.
26:12
You
26:12
know,
26:13
I
26:13
am
26:13
seeking
26:13
ease.
26:15
One
26:15
of
26:15
my
26:15
favorite
26:16
meditations
26:16
that
26:17
I
26:17
practice
26:17
daily
26:18
is
26:18
the
26:18
meta
26:18
meditation,
26:19
which
26:19
is
26:19
out
26:19
of
26:20
the
26:20
Buddhist
26:20
tradition,
26:20
it's
26:21
very
26:21
simply
26:21
four
26:22
phrases,
26:22
but
26:23
one
26:23
of
26:23
them
26:23
is
26:24
may
26:24
I
26:24
live
26:24
with
26:25
ease.
26:26
And
26:26
this
26:27
often
26:27
is
26:27
very
26:28
upsetting
26:28
to
26:28
high
26:29
achieving
26:29
types,
26:30
right?
26:30
Like
26:30
life,
26:30
the
26:31
resistance
26:31
I
26:31
have
26:32
is,
26:32
life
26:32
is
26:32
not
26:32
easy.
26:33
How
26:33
dare
26:33
you
26:34
wish
26:34
for
26:34
easy?
26:35
Or
26:35
is
26:35
that
26:35
a
26:36
privileged
26:36
position
26:36
or
26:37
something?
26:37
But
26:38
I
26:38
think
26:38
ease
26:38
and
26:39
easy
26:40
are
26:40
different
26:42
and
26:43
that
26:44
what
26:44
I
26:44
think
26:45
that
26:45
we
26:46
need
26:46
more
26:46
of
26:47
is
26:47
to
26:47
meet
26:47
the
26:48
challenges
26:48
of
26:48
life.
26:49
The
26:49
hard,
26:49
very
26:50
hard
26:50
things,
26:50
the
26:51
external
26:51
circumstances
26:52
that
26:53
are
26:53
often
26:53
objectively
26:54
very
26:55
hard
26:56
that
26:56
people
26:56
in
26:56
midlife
26:57
are
26:57
facing.
26:57
Right?
26:58
All
26:58
the
26:58
things
27:00
with
27:00
as
27:01
much
27:01
ease
27:01
as
27:01
possible.
27:02
How
27:02
can
27:03
we
27:03
soften
27:03
into
27:04
them?
27:04
How
27:04
can
27:04
we
27:04
bring
27:05
gentleness
27:06
to
27:06
the
27:06
party
27:07
instead
27:08
of
27:08
like
27:09
grit
27:09
and
27:09
grasp
27:10
and
27:10
hustle?
27:11
That
27:12
is
27:12
what
27:13
takes
27:13
us
27:13
into
27:13
burnout.
27:14
Ease
27:16
and
27:16
gentleness
27:17
and
27:17
acceptance
27:18
and
27:19
sort
27:19
of
27:19
surrender
27:20
to
27:21
what
27:21
is,
27:22
is
27:23
the
27:23
way.
27:25
So
27:25
what
27:25
is
27:26
the
27:26
fine
27:26
line
27:26
between
27:27
that?
27:27
Because
27:27
we
27:27
are
27:28
in
27:28
this
27:28
like
27:28
hustle
27:29
culture,
27:29
especially
27:30
in
27:30
America,
27:31
where
27:31
it's
27:31
like
27:31
you
27:31
got
27:32
to
27:32
get,
27:32
you
27:32
know,
27:32
move
27:33
your
27:33
way
27:33
up,
27:33
you
27:33
got
27:34
to
27:34
go
27:34
do
27:34
more,
27:34
more,
27:34
more,
27:35
more,
27:35
more
27:35
all
27:35
the
27:36
time.
27:36
But.
27:37
And
27:37
you
27:37
want
27:37
to
27:38
be
27:38
goal
27:38
oriented
27:39
and
27:39
you
27:39
want
27:39
to
27:39
hit
27:40
your
27:40
goals
27:40
and
27:40
your
27:40
targets
27:41
and
27:41
like
27:42
all
27:42
the
27:42
things.
27:43
But
27:43
like
27:43
what?
27:44
But
27:44
you
27:45
also,
27:45
like
27:45
you're
27:45
saying
27:45
you
27:46
want
27:46
to
27:46
have
27:46
ease
27:47
and
27:47
like
27:48
kind
27:48
of
27:48
let
27:48
things
27:49
also
27:49
unfold
27:50
the
27:50
way
27:51
that
27:51
you
27:51
know
27:52
they're
27:52
supposed
27:52
to
27:53
and,
27:53
and
27:54
to
27:54
be
27:54
okay
27:55
with
27:55
that
27:55
sometimes.
27:56
So
27:56
what,
27:57
how
27:57
do
27:57
you
27:57
balance
27:58
that?
27:58
You
27:58
know,
27:58
how
27:59
do
27:59
you
27:59
balance
27:59
the
27:59
two?
28:00
Yeah,
28:01
and
28:01
it
28:01
can
28:01
look
28:01
a
28:02
lot
28:02
the
28:02
same
28:02
on
28:02
the
28:03
outside.
28:03
You
28:04
know,
28:04
I
28:04
mean
28:04
I
28:04
often,
28:05
people
28:05
often
28:06
tell
28:06
me
28:06
I'm
28:06
like
28:07
very
28:07
intense
28:08
and
28:08
a
28:09
go
28:09
getter.
28:09
Right.
28:10
These
28:10
are
28:10
name.
28:10
These
28:10
are
28:11
things
28:11
that
28:11
people
28:12
say
28:12
about
28:12
me
28:13
all
28:13
the
28:13
time.
28:13
And
28:13
I'm
28:13
like,
28:14
oh,
28:14
but
28:14
on
28:14
the
28:14
inside,
28:14
I'm
28:15
just
28:15
like
28:16
floating
28:16
in
28:16
the
28:16
breeze
28:17
here.
28:19
And
28:19
so
28:19
I
28:19
do
28:20
think
28:20
it
28:20
is
28:20
about
28:20
that
28:21
like
28:21
internal
28:21
compass
28:22
and
28:22
internal
28:23
set
28:23
point.
28:24
So
28:24
anchoring
28:25
to
28:25
what's
28:25
really
28:26
important.
28:26
Important
28:29
I
28:29
know
28:30
that
28:30
I
28:31
have
28:31
really
28:32
cultivated
28:33
within
28:33
myself
28:34
this
28:35
internal
28:38
filter,
28:38
right.
28:38
Like
28:39
I
28:39
can
28:39
kind
28:39
of
28:39
know
28:39
when
28:40
I'm
28:40
feeling
28:40
that,
28:41
that
28:41
burned
28:41
out
28:42
reactivity
28:42
or
28:43
when
28:43
I'm
28:43
feeling
28:43
that
28:44
sense
28:44
of
28:45
ease,
28:45
trust,
28:46
surrender
28:47
to
28:47
the
28:47
process,
28:48
that
28:48
kind
28:48
of
28:48
thing.
28:49
So
28:49
that's
28:49
kind
28:50
of
28:50
like
28:50
the
28:50
p
28:52
filtering
28:52
question
28:52
for
28:53
me
28:53
if
28:54
this
28:54
opportunity
28:55
that's
28:55
presented
28:55
to
28:56
me
28:56
or
28:56
action
28:56
item
28:56
that
28:57
I'm
28:57
going
28:57
to
28:57
assign
28:57
to
28:57
myself.
28:58
Because
28:58
when
28:58
you're
28:59
self
28:59
employed,
29:00
you're
29:00
often
29:00
your
29:00
own
29:01
boss,
29:03
I
29:03
guess
29:04
always.
29:04
If
29:04
you're
29:04
self
29:05
employed,
29:07
always,
29:07
always
29:08
all
29:09
the
29:09
things
29:09
you're
29:10
the
29:10
boss
29:10
of,
29:10
you
29:11
but
29:11
making
29:12
sure
29:12
that
29:12
you
29:12
are
29:12
actually
29:13
the
29:13
boss
29:13
of
29:14
you.
29:14
Right.
29:15
Like
29:15
you're
29:16
handing
29:16
yourself
29:16
a
29:16
90
29:17
day
29:17
objective
29:18
or
29:18
you're
29:19
saying,
29:19
this
29:19
is
29:19
my
29:19
task
29:20
list
29:20
for
29:20
today.
29:22
Checking
29:22
to
29:23
make
29:23
sure,
29:23
does
29:23
this
29:24
make
29:24
me
29:24
feel
29:25
light?
29:26
Does
29:26
this
29:26
make
29:26
me
29:27
feel
29:27
excited?
29:28
Or
29:28
does
29:29
this
29:29
make
29:29
me
29:29
feel
29:29
constricted,
29:31
anxious
29:31
and
29:33
beholden
29:34
to
29:34
some
29:35
external
29:35
validation
29:37
and
29:37
then
29:37
kind
29:38
of,
29:38
you
29:38
know,
29:38
using
29:38
that
29:39
as
29:39
a
29:39
check.
29:40
I
29:40
use
29:41
Personal
29:42
Mission
29:42
Statement
29:42
as
29:43
a
29:43
filtering
29:44
device
29:45
very,
29:45
very
29:46
frequently.
29:47
And
29:48
I
29:48
have
29:48
my
29:48
clients
29:48
write
29:49
their
29:49
own
29:49
obituaries
29:50
and
29:50
we,
29:50
we
29:51
work
29:51
backwards
29:51
from
29:52
there.
29:52
Right.
29:52
So,
29:53
like,
29:53
what
29:53
do
29:53
you
29:53
want
29:53
to
29:54
say
29:54
about
29:54
you
29:54
when
29:54
you
29:55
die
29:55
and
29:56
are
29:56
you
29:56
living
29:57
that
29:57
today?
29:58
Wow,
29:59
that's
29:59
powerful.
30:00
So
30:01
what
30:02
are.
30:02
I
30:02
mean,
30:02
I
30:03
would
30:03
imagine
30:03
that
30:04
people
30:04
would
30:04
have
30:04
to
30:05
make
30:05
adjustments
30:06
based
30:06
on
30:06
that,
30:07
you
30:07
know,
30:07
writing
30:08
their
30:08
obituary
30:09
and
30:09
like
30:09
really
30:10
taking
30:10
note
30:11
and
30:11
seeing
30:11
how
30:12
they're
30:12
living.
30:13
They've
30:13
got
30:13
to,
30:13
right?
30:14
Yes,
30:14
yes.
30:15
It's
30:15
a
30:15
very
30:15
powerful
30:16
exercise.
30:18
I've
30:18
had
30:18
to
30:18
sort
30:18
of
30:19
back
30:19
it
30:19
out.
30:19
I
30:20
used
30:20
to
30:20
come
30:20
in
30:20
hot
30:21
and
30:21
write
30:21
when
30:21
people
30:22
met
30:22
me.
30:22
I'm
30:22
like,
30:22
can
30:22
you
30:23
write
30:23
me
30:23
your
30:23
own
30:23
obituary?
30:25
People
30:26
need
30:26
to
30:26
be
30:26
warmed
30:26
up.
30:26
If
30:27
you
30:27
don't
30:27
live
30:27
in
30:28
the
30:28
world
30:28
of
30:28
death
30:29
and
30:29
dying
30:29
like
30:29
I
30:30
do,
30:30
that's
30:30
not.
30:32
That's
30:32
hard.
30:32
It
30:32
really
30:33
is.
30:33
But
30:33
it's
30:33
so
30:34
powerful.
30:36
And
30:36
the
30:36
power
30:38
is
30:38
in
30:38
two
30:39
things.
30:40
One
30:40
is
30:41
remembering
30:41
what's
30:42
really
30:42
important.
30:43
But
30:43
then
30:43
two
30:44
is
30:44
realizing
30:44
how
30:45
much
30:45
story
30:46
we
30:46
are
30:46
living
30:47
in.
30:48
Because
30:48
the
30:49
resistance
30:49
that
30:49
people
30:50
will
30:50
often
30:50
have
30:50
when
30:50
they
30:51
start
30:51
writing
30:51
is,
30:51
well,
30:51
how
30:52
will
30:52
I
30:52
know
30:52
what
30:52
I
30:53
was
30:53
doing
30:53
then?
30:54
And
30:54
how
30:54
will
30:54
I
30:54
know
30:55
what
30:55
was
30:55
going
30:55
on
30:55
in
30:55
my
30:56
life
30:56
to
30:56
write
30:57
in
30:57
the
30:57
obituary?
30:58
And
30:59
when
30:59
it
30:59
sinks
31:00
in
31:00
like,
31:00
yep,
31:01
that
31:01
doesn't
31:01
matter.
31:02
That's
31:03
not
31:03
what
31:03
the
31:03
obituary
31:04
is
31:04
about.
31:04
Right.
31:05
Whether
31:05
you
31:05
were
31:05
living
31:06
in
31:06
Maine
31:06
or
31:06
living
31:07
in
31:07
LA,
31:07
or
31:07
whether
31:08
you
31:08
had
31:08
written
31:08
things
31:09
three
31:09
books
31:09
or
31:09
written
31:09
seven
31:10
books,
31:10
or
31:11
whether
31:11
you,
31:12
like,
31:12
were
31:13
the
31:13
mayor
31:13
of
31:14
the
31:14
town,
31:15
who
31:15
cares?
31:16
That's
31:17
not
31:17
the
31:17
point.
31:18
So
31:18
you
31:18
don't
31:18
have
31:18
to
31:19
know
31:19
those
31:19
parts
31:20
of
31:20
your
31:20
future.
31:21
You
31:21
need
31:21
to
31:21
know,
31:23
how
31:23
did
31:23
you
31:23
show
31:23
up?
31:24
How
31:24
did
31:24
you
31:24
affect
31:25
people?
31:26
What
31:27
is
31:27
going
31:27
to
31:27
be
31:28
said
31:28
about
31:28
you?
31:29
Because
31:30
when
31:30
you
31:30
read
31:30
obituaries.
31:31
Yes,
31:31
there's
31:31
something.
31:32
I
31:32
also
31:32
read
31:32
a
31:33
lot
31:33
of
31:33
obituaries
31:34
as
31:34
a
31:34
personal
31:35
development
31:35
practice.
31:38
A.
31:39
It
31:39
makes
31:39
me
31:39
realize
31:40
I
31:40
get
31:40
to
31:40
take
31:40
care
31:40
of
31:40
a
31:40
lot
31:41
of
31:41
cool
31:41
people.
31:41
As
31:41
I
31:42
told
31:42
you,
31:42
by
31:42
the
31:42
time
31:43
they.
31:43
They
31:43
get
31:43
to
31:44
me,
31:44
we.
31:44
All
31:44
those
31:45
surface
31:45
layers
31:45
have
31:45
been
31:46
stripped
31:46
away.
31:46
So
31:47
I
31:47
don't
31:47
often
31:47
get
31:47
to
31:47
know
31:48
them
31:48
except
31:49
when
31:49
I
31:49
read
31:49
the
31:49
obituary
31:50
and
31:50
I'm
31:50
like,
31:50
wow,
31:50
what
31:51
a
31:51
cool
31:51
person
31:51
that
31:51
was.
31:52
I
31:52
already
31:52
knew
31:53
because
31:53
I
31:53
could
31:53
feel
31:54
it,
31:54
but
31:54
I
31:55
didn't
31:55
have
31:55
the
31:55
story
31:55
wrapped
31:56
around
31:56
it.
31:56
The
31:56
obituary
31:57
gives
31:57
me
31:57
a
31:57
little
31:58
bit
31:58
more
31:58
of
31:58
the
31:58
story.
32:01
So
32:01
that's
32:01
sort
32:01
of
32:01
one
32:01
reason
32:02
that
32:02
I
32:02
read
32:02
obituaries
32:03
is
32:03
just
32:03
to
32:03
get
32:03
to
32:03
know
32:03
the
32:03
people
32:04
that
32:04
I
32:04
take
32:04
care
32:04
of.
32:05
But
32:05
I
32:05
read
32:05
people
32:05
who
32:06
I
32:06
didn't
32:06
take
32:06
care
32:06
of
32:06
too.
32:07
And
32:07
when
32:07
you
32:07
read
32:08
an
32:08
obituary,
32:09
you
32:10
recognize
32:11
that
32:11
some
32:12
of
32:12
it
32:12
is
32:13
about
32:13
some
32:14
maybe
32:14
specific,
32:15
tangible
32:15
things
32:16
that
32:16
that
32:16
person
32:16
did.
32:17
But
32:17
a
32:17
lot
32:18
it's
32:18
about
32:19
the
32:19
way
32:20
that
32:20
their
32:20
grandkids
32:21
loved
32:22
them
32:22
or
32:22
the
32:22
way
32:23
that
32:23
they
32:23
made
32:23
people
32:23
feel
32:24
or
32:25
the
32:25
kind
32:25
of
32:25
person
32:26
that
32:26
they
32:26
were,
32:29
you
32:29
know,
32:30
almost
32:30
always
32:31
positive.
32:32
And
32:32
I
32:33
have,
32:33
I
32:33
have
32:34
personally
32:34
in
32:34
my
32:34
life
32:36
known
32:36
people
32:37
who
32:37
I
32:37
was
32:37
like,
32:37
what
32:38
are
32:38
they
32:38
going
32:38
to
32:38
say
32:38
in
32:38
this
32:39
man's
32:39
obituary?
32:39
Because
32:40
he
32:40
is
32:41
not
32:42
nice.
32:42
Like
32:42
who
32:42
is
32:43
going
32:43
to
32:43
write
32:43
a
32:43
kind
32:43
word
32:44
about
32:44
him?
32:45
And
32:45
then
32:45
you
32:45
read
32:46
it
32:46
and
32:46
you're
32:46
like,
32:47
oh,
32:47
well,
32:47
yeah,
32:47
okay,
32:48
I
32:48
can
32:48
see
32:48
that
32:48
was
32:48
true.
32:49
Like
32:49
he,
32:49
you
32:49
know,
32:50
there's
32:50
always
32:50
a
32:50
little
32:50
bit
32:51
of
32:51
a
32:51
way
32:51
that
32:51
you
32:52
can
32:54
find
32:54
that
32:55
common
32:55
humanity.
32:57
Now
32:57
obviously
32:58
I
32:58
think
32:59
those
32:59
people
33:00
who
33:00
come
33:01
to
33:01
the
33:01
end
33:01
of
33:01
their
33:01
lives,
33:01
and
33:02
I
33:02
do
33:02
have
33:02
many
33:02
of
33:02
them
33:02
that
33:03
I
33:03
take
33:03
care
33:03
of
33:03
that
33:03
come
33:04
to
33:04
the
33:04
end
33:04
of
33:04
their
33:04
lives
33:05
bitter
33:05
with
33:06
regrets
33:07
and
33:07
on
33:08
outside
33:08
the
33:09
kind
33:09
of
33:09
people
33:09
that
33:09
we
33:09
would
33:10
say,
33:10
like,
33:11
that's
33:11
kind
33:11
of
33:11
a
33:12
nasty
33:12
person.
33:12
I
33:12
don't
33:13
really
33:13
want
33:13
to
33:13
be
33:14
around
33:14
them.
33:16
That
33:16
has
33:17
happened
33:18
somehow
33:18
along
33:18
the
33:19
way.
33:19
Like
33:19
they
33:19
didn't
33:19
just
33:20
get
33:20
like
33:20
that
33:20
like
33:20
five
33:21
minutes
33:21
before
33:21
they
33:21
died.
33:22
What
33:23
I
33:23
try
33:23
to
33:23
look
33:24
for
33:24
is
33:25
what
33:25
could
33:25
we
33:26
have
33:26
done?
33:26
Like
33:26
how
33:27
could
33:27
we
33:27
have
33:27
kind
33:27
of
33:27
righted
33:28
the
33:28
ship?
33:28
And
33:28
often
33:29
midlife
33:29
is
33:30
the
33:30
inflection
33:30
point,
33:31
right,
33:32
where
33:32
we
33:32
can
33:32
either
33:33
say,
33:33
oh
33:33
my
33:34
goodness,
33:34
I'm
33:35
living
33:35
some
33:35
programming
33:36
that
33:36
doesn't
33:37
really
33:37
agree
33:37
with
33:37
me
33:38
and
33:38
I'm
33:38
feeling
33:39
disconnected
33:39
from
33:39
the
33:40
world.
33:40
And
33:40
I'm
33:40
either
33:41
going
33:41
to
33:41
make
33:41
a
33:41
commitment
33:42
to
33:42
re
33:44
course,
33:44
like
33:44
get
33:44
back
33:45
on
33:45
course,
33:45
change
33:45
course,
33:46
right?
33:46
Change
33:46
course,
33:46
change
33:47
my
33:47
heading
33:47
even
33:47
by
33:48
1%.
33:48
I
33:48
might
33:49
end
33:49
up
33:49
somewhere
33:49
completely
33:50
different
33:51
or
33:51
I'm
33:52
going
33:52
to
33:52
double
33:52
down
33:53
and
33:53
like
33:54
go
33:54
further
33:54
in
33:55
to
33:55
this
33:56
negativity
33:57
trap
33:57
that
33:58
society
33:58
is
33:58
handed
33:59
to
33:59
me.
33:59
And
34:00
that's
34:01
what
34:01
I
34:01
see.
34:02
So
34:02
sometimes
34:03
recognizing,
34:04
okay,
34:04
I
34:04
don't
34:05
want
34:05
that
34:05
on
34:05
my
34:05
obituary.
34:06
I
34:06
don't
34:06
want
34:06
like
34:06
a
34:07
two
34:07
sentence
34:07
obituary
34:08
because
34:08
nobody
34:08
could
34:08
say
34:09
anything
34:09
nice
34:09
about
34:09
me.
34:13
I
34:13
want
34:13
this.
34:14
I
34:14
want
34:14
this,
34:15
right?
34:15
Mine,
34:16
mine
34:16
talks
34:16
about
34:16
you
34:17
guys.
34:17
I
34:17
have
34:17
it
34:17
on
34:18
my
34:18
website,
34:18
my
34:18
own
34:18
obituary
34:19
as
34:19
well
34:19
as
34:19
an
34:19
exercise
34:20
that
34:20
sort
34:21
of
34:21
walks
34:21
you
34:21
through.
34:21
It
34:23
talks
34:23
about
34:24
how
34:24
I
34:24
show
34:24
up
34:25
bright
34:25
and
34:25
sunny
34:26
and
34:26
I
34:26
bring
34:26
bone
34:27
sunshine
34:28
and
34:28
I
34:28
help
34:28
people
34:29
to
34:29
become
34:29
the
34:29
best
34:30
versions
34:30
of
34:30
themselves.
34:31
And
34:31
then
34:31
of
34:32
course,
34:32
I
34:32
do
34:32
a
34:32
little
34:32
future
34:33
casting
34:33
of
34:33
like,
34:33
what
34:34
I
34:34
want,
34:34
like,
34:34
how
34:34
many
34:35
people
34:35
I
34:35
was
34:35
able
34:35
to
34:35
help
34:36
through
34:36
my
34:36
work
34:36
and
34:37
that
34:37
kind
34:37
of
34:37
thing.
34:38
There's
34:38
still
34:39
a
34:39
little
34:39
bit
34:39
of
34:39
like,
34:40
ego
34:40
in
34:41
there
34:41
and
34:41
like,
34:41
external
34:42
stuff
34:42
that
34:42
I'm
34:43
connected
34:43
to.
34:44
But
34:45
then
34:46
I
34:46
test
34:46
it,
34:46
right?
34:47
Then
34:47
we
34:47
sort
34:47
of
34:47
test
34:48
it
34:48
and
34:49
say,
34:49
okay,
34:50
if
34:51
I
34:51
was
34:51
using
34:52
this
34:52
as
34:52
the
34:52
filter
34:53
to
34:53
decide
34:53
what
34:53
I
34:53
was
34:53
going
34:54
to
34:54
do
34:54
today,
34:55
would
34:55
that
34:55
help
34:55
me
34:55
make
34:56
decisions?
34:56
Right?
34:57
So
34:57
then
34:58
is
34:58
this
34:59
helping
34:59
me
34:59
to
34:59
show
34:59
up
35:00
bright
35:00
and
35:00
shiny
35:00
and
35:01
be
35:01
a
35:01
lighthouse
35:01
for
35:01
others?
35:02
Yes
35:02
or
35:02
no?
35:03
Is
35:03
this
35:03
helping
35:04
me
35:04
to
35:04
like,
35:05
help
35:05
other
35:05
people
35:06
elevate
35:06
and
35:07
be
35:07
the
35:07
best
35:07
version
35:08
of
35:08
themselves?
35:08
Yes
35:08
or
35:09
no.
35:10
And
35:10
mostly
35:10
when
35:11
things
35:11
are
35:11
getting
35:11
into
35:11
like
35:11
hustle
35:12
grind
35:12
culture
35:14
that's
35:14
ego
35:14
driven,
35:15
that's
35:15
like
35:15
all
35:15
about
35:16
me
35:16
now
35:17
and
35:17
not
35:18
about
35:19
me
35:19
becoming
35:20
or
35:20
me
35:21
serving.
35:21
And
35:22
so
35:22
I
35:22
think
35:23
the
35:23
obituary
35:24
or
35:24
mission
35:24
statement
35:25
can
35:26
be
35:26
a
35:26
really
35:27
powerful
35:28
filter
35:29
for
35:29
helping
35:30
us
35:30
not
35:31
only
35:31
make
35:31
those
35:31
decisions,
35:32
but
35:32
also
35:32
feel
35:34
empowered
35:34
about
35:35
the
35:35
decisions
35:35
that
35:35
we're
35:36
making.
35:36
Because
35:36
the
35:37
shouldzing
35:37
and
35:37
the
35:37
guilt.
35:38
Sometimes
35:39
it's
35:39
easy
35:39
to
35:39
say,
35:39
I'm
35:40
going
35:40
to
35:40
take
35:40
a
35:40
break
35:40
today
35:40
because
35:41
I
35:41
need
35:41
it.
35:42
But
35:42
then
35:42
you
35:42
still
35:42
feel
35:42
guilty,
35:44
which,
35:44
like,
35:44
it's
35:44
a
35:44
much
35:44
more
35:44
powerful
35:45
story
35:45
to
35:45
say,
35:46
I'm
35:47
gonna
35:47
binge
35:48
Stranger
35:49
Things
35:49
because
35:50
that
35:50
actually
35:51
charges
35:51
my
35:51
battery.
35:52
I
35:52
watch
35:52
it
35:52
with
35:52
my
35:53
teenage
35:53
kids
35:53
and
35:53
I'm
35:54
connected
35:54
to
35:54
them.
35:55
And
35:55
that
35:55
actually
35:55
means
35:56
that
35:56
when
35:56
I
35:56
go
35:56
back
35:56
to
35:56
work
35:57
next
35:57
week,
35:58
I'm
35:58
like,
35:58
bright
35:58
and
35:59
shiny
35:59
lighthouse.
36:00
And
36:01
that
36:01
is
36:01
actually
36:01
my
36:01
goal.
36:02
So
36:02
this
36:03
is
36:03
not
36:03
a
36:04
this
36:04
or
36:04
that,
36:05
it's
36:05
a
36:05
this.
36:06
Because
36:06
of
36:06
that.
36:07
It's
36:07
very
36:07
true.
36:08
And
36:08
I
36:08
think
36:08
too,
36:08
it's
36:09
like
36:09
letting
36:10
go
36:10
of
36:10
the
36:10
guilt
36:10
that
36:11
is
36:11
associated
36:11
with
36:11
that,
36:12
you
36:12
know,
36:12
like
36:12
where,
36:13
oh,
36:13
I
36:14
could
36:14
be
36:14
doing
36:14
this,
36:14
I
36:15
could
36:15
be
36:15
doing
36:15
that.
36:15
It's
36:16
like,
36:16
just
36:16
let
36:17
it
36:17
go,
36:17
right?
36:18
So
36:18
how
36:18
do
36:19
we
36:20
rewire
36:21
our
36:21
subconscious
36:22
and
36:22
our
36:22
brain
36:23
to
36:24
be
36:24
okay
36:25
with
36:25
that?
36:25
Because
36:26
I
36:26
feel
36:26
like
36:26
the
36:26
wiring
36:27
is
36:27
there
36:27
that
36:27
we
36:27
should
36:28
feel
36:28
guilty
36:29
for
36:29
doing
36:30
something
36:30
for
36:31
us
36:32
versus
36:32
for
36:33
somebody
36:33
else
36:33
or
36:33
something
36:34
else.
36:35
My
36:35
favorite
36:36
question
36:37
about
36:37
story
36:38
is
36:38
does
36:38
it
36:38
serve
36:39
right?
36:39
So
36:39
often
36:40
when
36:40
I'm
36:40
teaching
36:40
people
36:41
to
36:41
write
36:41
new
36:41
stories,
36:42
we
36:42
get
36:42
stuck
36:43
in
36:43
this.
36:43
Okay,
36:44
well,
36:44
my
36:44
old
36:44
story
36:44
was
36:45
a
36:45
lie,
36:45
but
36:46
now
36:46
my
36:46
new
36:46
story
36:46
is
36:46
also
36:47
a
36:47
lie.
36:47
It's
36:47
just
36:47
a
36:48
different
36:48
lie.
36:49
Because
36:49
all
36:49
stories
36:49
are
36:50
lies,
36:50
right?
36:50
Like,
36:50
it's
36:51
just
36:51
brain
36:51
making
36:52
up
36:52
stories.
36:52
It's
36:53
an
36:53
interpretation.
36:54
Thought
36:54
lie
36:54
may
36:54
be
36:55
a
36:55
little
36:55
bit
36:55
strong
36:55
word,
36:55
but
36:55
it's
36:56
an
36:56
interpretation.
36:58
So
36:58
the
36:59
question
36:59
is,
36:59
does
36:59
it
37:00
Serve,
37:00
right?
37:00
Does
37:01
it
37:01
serve
37:01
you
37:02
to
37:02
believe
37:02
this
37:02
story,
37:03
or
37:03
does
37:03
it
37:03
serve
37:03
you
37:04
more
37:04
to
37:04
believe
37:04
this
37:04
other
37:04
story?
37:05
When
37:06
we're
37:06
talking
37:06
about
37:06
guilt,
37:07
then
37:07
the
37:07
question
37:07
is,
37:08
who
37:08
is
37:08
it
37:08
serving
37:09
for
37:09
you
37:09
to
37:09
feel
37:09
guilty?
37:10
That's
37:11
a
37:11
good
37:11
question.
37:11
I
37:12
mean,
37:12
really
37:13
good
37:13
filter,
37:14
right?
37:14
Who
37:15
is
37:15
being
37:15
served
37:16
by
37:16
this
37:16
guilt?
37:17
Who
37:17
is
37:17
this
37:17
helping
37:20
someone?
37:20
It's
37:20
helping
37:21
someone,
37:21
but
37:21
it's
37:21
not
37:22
you.
37:22
And
37:22
it's
37:22
usually
37:23
not
37:23
the
37:23
person
37:23
you're
37:23
trying
37:24
to
37:24
help.
37:26
In
37:26
many
37:27
cases,
37:28
right?
37:28
Society,
37:29
I
37:30
mean,
37:30
over
37:30
giving
37:32
is
37:32
a
37:32
huge
37:33
problem.
37:34
Again,
37:35
most
37:35
of
37:35
my
37:35
experience
37:36
is
37:36
in
37:36
healthcare
37:37
and
37:37
health
37:37
professionals.
37:39
Over
37:39
serving,
37:39
over
37:40
giving,
37:40
martyrdom.
37:44
Feeling
37:44
guilty
37:44
for
37:44
taking
37:45
a
37:45
day
37:45
off,
37:46
feeling
37:46
guilty
37:46
for
37:46
not
37:47
picking
37:47
up
37:47
the
37:47
extra
37:48
shift
37:49
that
37:49
serves
37:50
the
37:51
hospital
37:52
complex,
37:53
the
37:53
insurance
37:54
system,
37:55
the
37:56
corporate
37:56
medical
37:57
system
37:58
that
37:59
treats
37:59
us
37:59
like
38:00
widgets
38:01
in
38:01
a
38:01
machine,
38:02
right?
38:02
That
38:03
doesn't
38:03
serve
38:04
us
38:04
or
38:04
our
38:05
families,
38:05
our
38:05
future
38:06
selves,
38:06
or
38:07
really
38:07
even.
38:07
I
38:07
mean,
38:08
I
38:08
don't
38:08
think
38:08
it
38:08
even
38:09
serves
38:09
the
38:09
patients.
38:11
That's
38:12
often
38:12
the
38:12
connection
38:13
that
38:14
I
38:14
have
38:14
to
38:14
break
38:14
is
38:15
that
38:15
people
38:15
do
38:16
think
38:16
the
38:16
patient
38:17
is
38:17
served
38:17
by
38:17
that,
38:18
but
38:18
when
38:18
we
38:19
can
38:19
see
38:19
it,
38:19
no,
38:19
it
38:19
doesn't
38:20
actually
38:20
like
38:20
those
38:21
guilty
38:21
feelings.
38:24
The
38:24
hours
38:25
of
38:25
care
38:26
is
38:26
a
38:26
problem
38:26
that
38:27
has
38:27
to
38:27
be
38:27
solved
38:28
just
38:28
as
38:28
it
38:28
is
38:28
within
38:29
our
38:29
homes,
38:29
right?
38:30
If
38:30
you
38:30
have
38:30
a
38:30
young
38:30
child,
38:31
24
38:32
hours
38:32
of
38:32
supervision
38:33
is
38:33
required.
38:34
You
38:34
have
38:34
to
38:35
solve
38:35
that
38:35
problem.
38:36
But
38:36
you
38:36
feeling
38:37
guilty
38:37
if
38:37
it's
38:38
not
38:38
you,
38:38
all
38:38
of
38:39
the
38:39
24
38:39
hours
38:40
doesn't
38:40
serve
38:40
your
38:41
child.
38:43
You
38:43
solving
38:43
the
38:44
problem,
38:44
like
38:44
hiring
38:45
a
38:45
babysitter.
38:46
Now,
38:46
maybe,
38:46
you
38:46
know,
38:47
like
38:47
every.
38:47
Everything
38:48
creates
38:48
another
38:49
potential
38:50
problem.
38:51
And.
38:52
But,
38:53
you
38:53
know,
38:53
most
38:53
of
38:54
the
38:54
women
38:54
I
38:54
think
38:54
that
38:55
we
38:55
work
38:55
with
38:55
are
38:56
really
38:56
good
38:56
problem
38:56
solvers.
38:58
Once
38:58
we.
38:59
Once
38:59
we
38:59
can
38:59
get
38:59
this
39:00
sort
39:00
of
39:00
guilt
39:00
noise
39:01
out
39:01
of
39:01
the
39:01
way
39:01
and
39:02
get
39:02
it
39:02
down
39:02
to
39:02
like,
39:03
tactical,
39:04
strategic
39:05
problem
39:05
solving,
39:06
then
39:06
all
39:07
of
39:07
a
39:07
sudden
39:07
we're
39:07
like,
39:07
oh,
39:08
yeah,
39:08
if
39:08
I
39:08
didn't
39:09
feel
39:09
guilty
39:09
for
39:09
taking
39:10
a
39:10
night
39:11
off,
39:11
I'd
39:11
hire
39:12
a
39:12
babysitter.
39:12
And
39:13
like,
39:13
where
39:13
would
39:13
I
39:13
come
39:13
up
39:13
with
39:14
the
39:14
money?
39:14
And
39:15
how
39:15
would
39:15
I
39:15
find
39:15
someone
39:16
and
39:16
have
39:16
to
39:16
get
39:16
referrals,
39:17
right?
39:17
There's
39:17
all
39:17
these
39:18
things,
39:18
but,
39:18
like,
39:19
we
39:19
know
39:19
how
39:19
to
39:19
do
39:19
things.
39:20
It's
39:20
just
39:21
that
39:21
one
39:21
little
39:21
thing
39:22
that
39:22
just
39:22
has
39:22
to
39:22
kind
39:23
of
39:23
get
39:23
out
39:23
of
39:23
the
39:23
way.
39:24
Like,
39:24
who
39:24
said
39:25
you
39:26
had
39:26
to
39:26
do
39:26
it
39:27
all
39:27
24
39:27
hours,
39:28
all
39:28
of
39:28
the
39:28
time?
39:29
I
39:29
mean,
39:30
we
39:30
know
39:31
society
39:31
said
39:32
it.
39:32
Like,
39:32
it's
39:33
not
39:33
true
39:34
100%.
39:34
And,
39:35
you
39:35
know,
39:35
this
39:35
whole
39:36
notion
39:36
of
39:37
martyrdom
39:38
just
39:39
drives
39:39
me
39:40
crazy
39:40
because
39:41
it's
39:41
like,
39:42
you
39:42
know,
39:42
I
39:42
was
39:42
listening.
39:43
Oh,
39:43
gosh,
39:44
was
39:44
it.
39:44
I
39:44
might
39:44
have
39:45
been
39:45
on
39:45
social
39:45
media
39:45
or
39:46
podcast,
39:47
but
39:47
there
39:48
Was
39:48
this
39:48
young
39:48
guy.
39:49
Oh,
39:49
he
39:49
must
39:50
have
39:50
been
39:50
25,
39:50
you
39:51
know,
39:52
and,
39:52
you
39:52
know,
39:52
he's
39:53
talking
39:53
about
39:53
how
39:54
he
39:54
wanted
39:54
to
39:54
meet
39:55
a
39:55
partner
39:55
and
39:55
meet
39:56
a
39:56
woman
39:56
and,
39:57
you
39:57
know,
39:57
the
39:57
things
39:58
he
39:58
was
39:58
looking
39:58
for.
39:58
And
39:58
he's
39:59
like,
39:59
above
39:59
anything
40:00
else,
40:00
I
40:01
want
40:01
my
40:02
future
40:02
wife
40:03
to
40:03
be
40:03
selfless,
40:05
meaning
40:05
put
40:06
everybody
40:06
else
40:07
in
40:07
front
40:07
of
40:07
her
40:08
but
40:08
her.
40:09
You
40:09
know,
40:09
I
40:10
want
40:10
her
40:10
to
40:10
do
40:10
for
40:11
the
40:11
children,
40:11
do
40:12
for
40:12
me,
40:13
do
40:13
for,
40:13
you
40:13
know,
40:14
anyone
40:14
else
40:15
before
40:16
her.
40:16
And
40:16
I
40:17
was
40:17
like,
40:17
why
40:18
is
40:19
this?
40:19
This
40:20
is
40:20
also
40:20
something,
40:21
as
40:21
women,
40:22
too,
40:22
that
40:22
many
40:23
of
40:23
us
40:23
believe
40:23
is
40:24
that
40:24
you
40:25
have
40:25
to
40:25
be
40:25
selfless.
40:26
If
40:26
you're
40:26
a
40:26
woman,
40:26
you
40:27
have
40:27
to
40:27
put
40:28
everybody
40:28
else
40:29
in
40:29
front
40:29
of
40:29
you
40:30
or
40:30
you
40:30
are
40:30
a
40:30
bad
40:31
person.
40:32
So
40:32
I
40:32
would
40:33
love
40:33
to
40:33
try
40:34
to
40:34
dispel
40:35
that
40:36
notion
40:36
too,
40:37
where
40:37
it's
40:37
like,
40:38
why
40:38
do
40:38
we
40:38
have
40:38
to
40:39
be
40:39
martyrs
40:39
and
40:39
why
40:40
do
40:40
we
40:40
have
40:40
to
40:40
be
40:41
so,
40:41
quote,
40:41
unquote,
40:42
selfless?
40:43
You
40:43
know,
40:43
how
40:44
do
40:44
we
40:44
start
40:45
untangling
40:45
that?
40:47
Yeah,
40:48
I
40:48
mean,
40:49
I
40:49
think
40:49
the
40:49
trade
40:49
off,
40:49
you
40:50
know,
40:50
as
40:50
you
40:50
were
40:50
telling
40:50
that
40:51
story,
40:52
my
40:52
thought
40:53
that
40:53
was
40:53
coming
40:53
to
40:53
my
40:54
mind
40:54
was
40:54
like,
40:54
well,
40:54
isn't
40:55
that
40:55
cute?
40:56
Like,
40:56
it's
40:56
so
40:57
naive
40:57
to
40:58
think
40:58
that.
40:59
I
40:59
mean,
40:59
forget
41:00
the
41:00
misogyny,
41:02
but
41:02
it's
41:02
just
41:03
naive
41:04
to
41:04
think
41:04
that
41:05
someone
41:05
could
41:05
actually
41:06
do
41:06
that.
41:08
We've
41:09
seen
41:09
it,
41:09
right?
41:09
The
41:10
bill
41:10
is
41:10
coming
41:10
due.
41:11
I've
41:11
put
41:11
everyone
41:12
in
41:12
front
41:12
of
41:13
myself
41:13
for
41:13
all
41:14
of
41:14
my
41:14
life,
41:14
and
41:14
now
41:15
I'm
41:15
burning
41:15
down
41:15
and
41:15
crashing.
41:16
I'm
41:16
quitting
41:17
my
41:17
job.
41:17
I'm
41:18
running
41:18
away
41:18
from
41:18
my
41:18
family.
41:19
When
41:19
I
41:20
was
41:20
going
41:20
through
41:20
my
41:21
big
41:21
burnout
41:21
episode
41:22
in
41:23
2018,
41:25
kind
41:25
of
41:25
between
41:25
2016,
41:26
2018,
41:27
this
41:27
is
41:28
the
41:28
episode
41:28
that
41:28
I
41:29
write
41:29
about
41:29
in
41:29
my
41:29
book
41:29
the
41:30
Phoenix
41:30
Blueprint.
41:33
I
41:33
was
41:33
obsessed
41:34
with
41:35
all
41:35
of
41:35
these
41:35
books
41:36
where
41:36
moms
41:36
run
41:36
away.
41:37
They're,
41:38
you
41:38
know,
41:38
like,
41:38
where'd
41:39
you
41:39
go?
41:39
Bernadette
41:39
was
41:40
kind
41:40
of
41:40
one
41:40
that
41:40
was
41:40
really
41:41
popular
41:41
at
41:41
that
41:41
time,
41:41
but
41:42
there
41:42
was,
41:42
like
41:42
a
41:42
crop
41:43
of
41:43
books
41:44
or
41:44
wild,
41:45
you
41:45
know,
41:45
anything
41:46
where,
41:46
like,
41:46
a
41:46
woman
41:46
was,
41:47
like,
41:47
running
41:47
away
41:48
from
41:48
her
41:49
life.
41:49
I
41:49
was
41:49
like,
41:50
wow,
41:50
this
41:50
sounds
41:51
good.
41:51
And
41:51
I
41:51
wasn't
41:51
reading
41:52
them
41:52
as
41:53
entertainment.
41:53
I
41:53
was
41:54
reading
41:54
them
41:54
as,
41:54
like,
41:55
instruction
41:55
manuals.
41:58
So
41:59
that,
42:00
like,
42:00
that
42:00
is
42:01
the
42:01
result
42:01
of
42:02
that
42:02
system
42:02
of
42:03
living.
42:03
You
42:03
put
42:03
everyone
42:04
in
42:04
turn
42:04
in
42:05
front
42:05
of
42:05
yourself
42:06
for
42:06
long
42:07
enough,
42:07
there's
42:07
no
42:08
self
42:08
left.
42:09
That
42:09
is
42:09
kind
42:10
of
42:10
what
42:10
the
42:10
whole
42:10
martyr
42:11
thing.
42:11
Like,
42:11
that
42:11
is
42:11
what
42:12
the
42:12
traditional
42:12
martyr
42:13
was
42:13
about.
42:13
Like,
42:13
literally,
42:14
I
42:14
will
42:14
give
42:14
my
42:14
life
42:15
for
42:15
this
42:16
cause.
42:18
And
42:18
if
42:18
you
42:19
think
42:19
about
42:20
a
42:20
metaphor
42:20
of
42:21
fire,
42:21
right?
42:21
So
42:21
if
42:21
you
42:22
are
42:22
a
42:22
candle,
42:23
forget
42:23
burning
42:23
at
42:24
both
42:24
ends.
42:24
Even
42:24
if
42:24
we're
42:24
just
42:25
burning
42:25
the
42:25
candle,
42:26
eventually,
42:26
it's
42:26
all
42:26
going
42:27
to
42:27
be
42:28
burned
42:28
and
42:28
then
42:29
what
42:29
are
42:29
we
42:29
going
42:29
to
42:29
do?
42:31
So
42:31
this
42:32
is
42:32
where
42:32
we
42:32
all
42:32
find
42:33
ourselves.
42:33
I
42:33
think
42:33
if
42:34
we're
42:34
talking
42:34
about
42:34
midlife
42:35
people
42:36
and
42:36
why
42:37
that
42:38
paradigm
42:38
of
42:39
selflessness
42:39
is
42:40
so
42:40
destructive
42:41
and
42:41
impossible
42:42
to
42:42
adhere
42:42
to,
42:43
because
42:43
it
42:44
basically
42:44
just
42:44
means
42:45
then
42:45
I
42:46
have
42:46
to
42:46
be
42:47
like,
42:47
I
42:47
just
42:47
have
42:48
to
42:48
be
42:48
gone.
42:49
Like,
42:49
you've
42:49
used
42:50
me
42:50
all
42:50
up,
42:50
so
42:51
what
42:51
am
42:51
I
42:51
supposed
42:51
to
42:51
do
42:51
now?
42:53
But
42:53
I'm
42:54
still
42:54
here.
42:57
So
42:58
I
42:58
prefer
42:58
a
42:59
system
42:59
of
43:00
sustainability
43:01
and
43:01
a
43:02
value
43:03
anchor.
43:03
Like
43:04
we
43:04
value
43:05
longevity.
43:07
Can
43:07
you
43:07
do?
43:08
Yes,
43:08
yes.
43:09
Like
43:09
if
43:09
I'm
43:09
thinking
43:10
about
43:10
how
43:10
many
43:10
patients
43:11
can
43:11
I
43:11
take
43:11
care
43:11
of,
43:12
I
43:12
maybe
43:13
can
43:13
take
43:13
care
43:13
of
43:13
60
43:14
patients
43:14
in
43:14
a
43:14
day.
43:15
And
43:15
then
43:16
I
43:16
burn
43:16
out
43:16
after
43:17
two
43:18
months.
43:18
Right.
43:18
And
43:19
then
43:19
I
43:19
need
43:19
like
43:19
two
43:19
months
43:20
off.
43:20
If
43:20
I
43:20
do
43:20
that
43:21
for
43:21
two
43:21
months
43:21
straight
43:22
and
43:22
never
43:22
take
43:22
a
43:22
day
43:23
off,
43:24
how
43:24
many
43:25
patients
43:25
were
43:25
served
43:26
during
43:26
that
43:26
time
43:27
with
43:27
that
43:28
strategy
43:29
versus
43:29
I
43:29
take
43:30
care
43:30
of
43:30
20
43:30
patients
43:31
a
43:31
day.
43:31
So
43:31
a
43:31
third
43:32
less.
43:33
Some
43:33
might
43:33
say,
43:34
well
43:34
that's,
43:35
that's
43:35
selfish
43:36
because
43:36
you
43:37
could
43:37
be
43:37
seeing
43:37
three
43:38
times
43:38
as
43:38
many
43:38
patients
43:39
and
43:39
you're
43:39
leaving
43:40
all
43:40
those
43:40
people
43:40
unserved.
43:42
But
43:42
with
43:42
that
43:43
system
43:43
allows
43:44
me
43:44
to
43:44
continue
43:45
practicing
43:45
medicine
43:46
for
43:46
10
43:46
years.
43:48
That's
43:48
many,
43:49
many,
43:49
many
43:49
more
43:50
patients
43:50
served
43:51
than
43:51
if
43:51
I
43:51
had
43:52
done
43:52
the
43:52
like
43:53
hot
43:53
and
43:53
fast
43:54
strategy.
43:55
That's
43:56
a
43:56
75
43:56
hard
43:57
version.
43:57
Don't
43:58
do
43:58
that,
43:59
do
43:59
the
44:00
sustainable
44:01
strategy.
44:01
So
44:02
how
44:02
that
44:02
looks
44:03
like
44:03
in
44:03
our
44:03
day
44:04
to
44:04
day
44:04
lifestyle
44:05
as
44:05
moms
44:06
and
44:06
wives
44:06
and
44:07
women
44:08
in
44:08
the
44:08
workplace,
44:09
is
44:10
that
44:10
balance
44:11
right?
44:11
Like
44:12
I've
44:12
done
44:12
enough
44:13
for
44:13
today
44:14
and
44:14
that's
44:14
a
44:14
decision
44:14
for
44:15
you.
44:15
Enough
44:15
is
44:15
a
44:15
decision,
44:16
not
44:16
an
44:16
amount.
44:17
I
44:18
can
44:18
leave
44:18
a
44:18
few
44:18
socks
44:19
unwashed,
44:19
I
44:19
can
44:20
leave
44:20
a
44:20
few
44:20
dishes
44:20
in
44:20
the
44:21
sink
44:21
because
44:21
playing
44:22
with
44:22
my
44:22
kids
44:23
fills
44:24
me
44:24
up
44:24
and
44:25
replenishes
44:25
me.
44:26
Or
44:26
going
44:26
to
44:26
bed,
44:27
it's
44:27
my
44:27
bedtime.
44:28
I
44:28
set
44:28
my
44:29
bedtime.
44:29
Emma
44:29
told
44:30
me
44:30
I
44:30
had
44:30
to
44:30
set
44:30
my
44:30
bedtime
44:31
and
44:31
it
44:31
is
44:31
now
44:31
my
44:32
bedtime.
44:32
So
44:33
everything
44:33
that
44:33
hasn't
44:33
happened
44:34
yet
44:34
is
44:34
too
44:35
bad.
44:38
That
44:38
kind
44:38
of
44:39
philosophy,
44:41
the
44:43
key
44:43
often
44:44
that
44:44
will
44:44
unlock
44:45
permission
44:46
within
44:46
your
44:46
brain
44:47
permission
44:47
structure
44:47
is
44:48
something
44:48
I
44:48
work
44:48
with
44:48
a
44:48
lot
44:49
and
44:49
a
44:49
lot
44:49
of
44:49
the
44:50
videos
44:50
on
44:50
Instagram
44:51
are
44:51
trying
44:51
to
44:52
give
44:52
people
44:52
that
44:52
bridge
44:53
from
44:53
this
44:54
is
44:54
the
44:54
thought
44:55
process
44:56
that
44:56
I'm
44:56
locked
44:56
in
44:57
now
44:57
and
44:57
I
44:57
need
44:58
to
44:58
move
44:58
over
44:59
to
44:59
this
44:59
other
44:59
thought
45:00
process.
45:00
What's
45:00
going
45:00
to
45:00
give
45:01
my
45:01
brain
45:01
permission
45:02
to
45:02
do
45:02
that
45:03
is
45:03
often
45:04
the
45:05
total
45:06
amount
45:06
of
45:07
service
45:07
you're
45:07
going
45:07
to
45:07
deliver
45:08
is
45:09
actually
45:09
higher.
45:09
If
45:10
you
45:10
take
45:10
care
45:10
of
45:10
yourself
45:12
then
45:12
when
45:12
we
45:12
frame
45:12
it
45:13
that
45:13
versus
45:13
if
45:14
you
45:14
just
45:14
use
45:14
yourself
45:15
up
45:15
as
45:15
fast
45:16
as
45:16
possible
45:16
by
45:17
being
45:17
selfless
45:18
you're
45:19
gonna
45:19
wear
45:19
out,
45:19
and
45:20
then
45:20
you're
45:20
gonna
45:20
be
45:20
in
45:20
the
45:20
hospital
45:21
and
45:21
other
45:21
people
45:22
will
45:22
have
45:22
to
45:22
be
45:22
taking
45:22
care
45:22
of
45:23
you.
45:23
And
45:23
I
45:24
have
45:24
countless
45:24
stories
45:25
of
45:25
people
45:25
who
45:25
have.
45:26
Their
45:26
bodies
45:26
have
45:27
said,
45:27
that's
45:28
it,
45:28
I'm
45:28
done.
45:30
You
45:30
know,
45:31
shut
45:31
down.
45:31
Either
45:32
debilitating
45:32
headaches,
45:34
seizures,
45:34
in
45:34
some
45:35
cases,
45:35
horrible
45:36
stomach
45:37
pain,
45:37
bad
45:37
chronic
45:38
back
45:39
pain.
45:40
Any
45:40
of
45:40
these
45:40
ways
45:41
that
45:41
the
45:41
overwork,
45:42
stress,
45:42
and
45:43
just
45:43
kind
45:43
of
45:43
like
45:43
too
45:44
much
45:44
life
45:45
shows
45:45
up
45:45
physically,
45:46
your
45:46
body's
45:47
going
45:47
to
45:47
force
45:47
you
45:47
to
45:47
take
45:48
a
45:48
break.
45:48
So
45:49
if
45:49
that's
45:49
what
45:49
you
45:49
want,
45:50
keep
45:50
doing
45:50
it.
45:51
But
45:51
it's
45:51
just
45:52
the
45:52
physical
45:53
reality.
45:54
It
45:54
is
45:54
not
45:55
possible
45:55
to
45:56
never
45:56
take
45:56
care
45:56
of
45:56
yourself
45:57
and
45:57
continue
45:58
to
45:58
live.
45:59
If
45:59
you
45:59
want
45:59
to
45:59
be
45:59
a
46:00
martyr,
46:00
it
46:00
means
46:01
you're
46:01
going
46:01
to
46:01
die,
46:03
either
46:04
literally
46:04
or
46:05
like,
46:05
ego
46:06
death.
46:06
But
46:07
one.
46:07
One
46:07
of
46:08
those
46:08
two
46:08
things
46:08
is
46:09
going
46:09
to
46:09
happen,
46:10
Right?
46:10
Right.
46:11
Well,
46:11
and
46:11
I
46:12
think
46:12
it's
46:12
so
46:12
important,
46:12
too,
46:13
is
46:13
like,
46:13
we
46:14
have
46:14
to
46:14
take
46:14
the
46:15
responsibility
46:15
to
46:16
give
46:16
ourselves
46:17
permission.
46:18
Nobody
46:18
else
46:19
can
46:19
give
46:19
you
46:19
permission,
46:20
you
46:20
know,
46:20
it's
46:20
got
46:21
to
46:21
be
46:22
from
46:22
within.
46:23
So
46:23
how
46:23
do
46:23
we
46:24
even
46:24
get
46:24
to
46:24
that
46:25
place,
46:25
like,
46:26
where
46:26
we
46:26
can
46:26
give
46:26
ourselves
46:27
permission?
46:29
Community
46:29
is
46:29
really
46:30
important,
46:30
you
46:31
know,
46:31
And
46:31
I
46:31
think
46:31
that
46:32
listening
46:32
to
46:33
this,
46:34
where
46:34
we're.
46:34
I
46:35
love
46:35
to
46:35
do.
46:35
I
46:36
love
46:36
to
46:36
let
46:36
story
46:36
work
46:37
for
46:37
us.
46:37
Right.
46:37
So
46:38
the
46:38
more
46:38
that
46:39
I
46:39
can
46:39
share
46:39
stories
46:40
of
46:41
other
46:41
people
46:41
who
46:41
went
46:42
through
46:42
the
46:42
same
46:42
thing
46:43
and
46:43
did
46:44
give
46:44
themselves
46:44
permission,
46:45
not
46:45
only
46:46
how
46:46
hard
46:46
it
46:46
is,
46:47
which
46:47
is
46:47
a
46:47
lot
46:47
of
46:47
the
46:47
storytelling
46:48
I've
46:48
been
46:48
doing
46:49
so
46:49
far,
46:49
but
46:49
also
46:51
that,
46:51
yes,
46:51
there
46:52
are
46:52
a
46:52
lot
46:52
of
46:52
people.
46:52
There
46:53
is
46:53
a
46:53
counterculture
46:54
movement
46:55
out
46:55
there
46:57
now.
46:57
It's
46:57
hard
46:58
because
46:59
once
46:59
you
46:59
kind
47:00
of
47:00
get
47:00
to
47:00
this
47:00
place
47:01
where
47:01
you
47:01
have
47:01
internal
47:02
resource
47:02
and
47:02
you
47:03
like
47:03
your
47:03
life
47:03
and
47:04
you're
47:04
just
47:04
thrilled
47:05
to
47:05
just
47:05
be
47:05
normal
47:06
and
47:06
boring,
47:07
you
47:07
don't
47:08
really
47:08
get
47:08
on
47:08
social
47:09
media
47:09
as
47:09
much
47:09
as
47:09
you
47:10
used
47:10
to.
47:10
You're
47:10
not
47:10
out
47:11
there
47:11
complaining.
47:12
A
47:12
lot
47:12
of
47:12
times
47:12
the
47:13
negativity
47:13
is
47:13
much
47:14
more
47:14
loud
47:15
than
47:15
the
47:16
people
47:16
who
47:16
really
47:16
have
47:17
kind
47:17
of
47:17
crossed
47:17
over,
47:18
gone
47:18
through
47:18
the
47:18
looking
47:19
glass,
47:19
if
47:19
you
47:19
will,
47:19
and
47:20
are
47:20
living
47:20
in
47:21
that
47:22
life
47:22
where
47:23
they
47:23
live
47:23
by
47:23
their
47:24
internal
47:24
standard.
47:25
They
47:25
also
47:25
know
47:26
that
47:26
they
47:26
have
47:26
to
47:27
turn
47:27
off
47:28
the
47:28
noise.
47:29
So
47:30
decreasing
47:30
the
47:31
media
47:31
diet
47:31
is
47:32
very
47:32
important
47:32
to
47:33
maintaining
47:34
that
47:34
sense
47:34
of
47:34
calm
47:35
and
47:35
internal
47:36
guidance.
47:37
So
47:37
I
47:37
think
47:38
we
47:38
just
47:38
don't
47:38
see
47:38
it
47:39
as
47:39
much,
47:39
but
47:40
it's
47:40
there.
47:41
And
47:41
I
47:41
think
47:42
as
47:42
you're
47:42
trying
47:42
to
47:44
build
47:44
capacity
47:46
to
47:46
rest,
47:47
build
47:47
capacity
47:48
to
47:48
let
47:48
yourself
47:49
have
47:49
permission
47:49
to
47:50
do
47:50
what
47:50
you
47:50
want
47:50
to
47:50
do
47:51
do,
47:51
build
47:52
capacity
47:53
to
47:53
set
47:53
boundaries
47:54
to
47:54
say
47:54
no,
47:55
you
47:55
know,
47:55
to
47:55
really
47:56
stand
47:56
up
47:56
for
47:56
yourself
47:56
in
47:57
the
47:57
ways
47:57
that
47:58
are
47:58
important,
47:59
looking
48:00
for
48:00
role
48:00
models
48:01
is
48:01
essential.
48:02
You
48:02
know,
48:02
being
48:03
able
48:03
to
48:03
say,
48:03
I
48:04
see
48:04
somebody
48:04
who
48:05
has
48:05
done
48:05
this.
48:05
So
48:05
my
48:05
brain's
48:06
going
48:06
to
48:06
start
48:06
to
48:06
believe
48:07
that
48:07
it's
48:07
possible.
48:08
Because
48:08
if
48:08
you've
48:09
never
48:09
seen
48:09
it,
48:09
and
48:10
most
48:10
of
48:10
us
48:10
never
48:10
have,
48:11
right,
48:11
Our
48:11
mothers,
48:12
our
48:12
sisters
48:13
are
48:14
the
48:14
women
48:14
who
48:15
climbed
48:15
the
48:15
corporate
48:16
ladder
48:16
ahead
48:16
of
48:16
us.
48:17
Everybody
48:19
did
48:19
it
48:20
in
48:20
the
48:20
sort
48:21
of
48:21
toxic
48:21
way
48:22
probably.
48:23
There
48:23
are
48:23
very
48:23
few
48:24
that,
48:26
that
48:26
and
48:26
then
48:27
some
48:27
of
48:27
them
48:27
had
48:27
to
48:28
go
48:28
through
48:28
this
48:28
reckoning
48:28
that
48:29
we're
48:29
going
48:29
through
48:30
right
48:30
now.
48:30
So
48:30
when
48:31
you
48:31
can
48:31
find
48:31
the
48:31
people
48:31
who've
48:32
been
48:32
through
48:32
the
48:32
reckoning,
48:33
those
48:33
are
48:33
the
48:34
people
48:34
that
48:34
will
48:34
help
48:34
you.
48:35
They
48:35
will
48:35
give,
48:35
I
48:35
will
48:36
give
48:36
you
48:36
permission
48:36
right
48:36
now,
48:37
permission
48:37
slip
48:38
to
48:38
rest
48:40
because
48:40
I
48:40
know
48:40
you
48:40
need
48:40
it
48:41
right
48:41
off
48:41
the
48:41
bat.
48:42
We,
48:42
we
48:42
all
48:42
do.
48:43
Like
48:43
we
48:43
still
48:44
are
48:44
hanging
48:44
on
48:45
external
48:46
until
48:46
we
48:47
can
48:47
learn
48:48
to
48:48
trust
48:49
internal.
48:50
Everybody
48:50
needed
48:50
training
48:51
wheels
48:51
to
48:51
learn
48:51
how
48:52
to
48:52
ride
48:52
a
48:52
bike.
48:52
Everybody
48:53
needed
48:53
their
48:54
mom
48:54
or
48:54
their
48:54
dad's
48:55
hand
48:55
on
48:55
the
48:55
back
48:55
of
48:55
the
48:55
seat.
48:56
And
48:56
then
48:57
at
48:57
some
48:57
point
48:57
you
48:57
felt
48:58
brave
48:58
enough
48:58
to
48:58
coast
48:59
off
48:59
by
48:59
yourself.
49:01
So
49:02
we'll
49:03
be
49:03
your
49:03
training
49:03
wheels.
49:04
But
49:05
give
49:05
yourself,
49:06
give
49:06
yourself
49:06
a
49:06
bedtime.
49:07
That's
49:07
your
49:07
first
49:07
training
49:08
wheel.
49:09
I
49:10
love
49:10
that.
49:10
Let's
49:11
go
49:11
back
49:11
to
49:11
like
49:11
how
49:12
we
49:12
started,
49:12
right?
49:12
We
49:13
had
49:13
a
49:13
bedtime.
49:14
Like
49:14
why
49:15
don't
49:15
we,
49:15
you
49:16
know,
49:16
use
49:17
those
49:17
tools
49:17
that,
49:18
you
49:18
know,
49:18
got
49:18
us
49:19
on
49:19
the
49:20
path
49:20
to
49:20
begin
49:20
with?
49:21
You
49:21
know,
49:21
it's
49:21
like
49:22
give
49:22
yourself
49:22
those,
49:23
those
49:23
things.
49:24
But
49:24
you
49:25
know,
49:25
I
49:25
also
49:25
love
49:26
that
49:26
you,
49:26
you,
49:27
you
49:27
do
49:27
talk
49:28
about
49:28
these
49:28
evidence
49:29
based
49:29
tools,
49:29
but
49:29
they
49:30
do
49:30
feel
49:30
very
49:31
human
49:31
too
49:32
and
49:32
very,
49:32
you
49:33
know,
49:33
attainable.
49:34
So
49:34
let's
49:35
say
49:35
a
49:35
woman
49:35
has
49:36
hit
49:36
that.
49:36
Like
49:37
we
49:37
were
49:37
talking
49:37
about
49:37
the
49:38
metaphor
49:38
of
49:38
the
49:38
candle.
49:39
She
49:39
has
49:39
burned
49:40
that
49:40
candle
49:40
to
49:41
the
49:41
ground.
49:41
There
49:41
is
49:41
just
49:41
not
49:42
even
49:42
a
49:42
wick
49:42
left.
49:43
There
49:43
is
49:44
nothing.
49:45
What
49:45
would
49:45
you
49:45
say
49:45
to
49:46
her
49:46
if
49:46
to
49:47
tell
49:47
her
49:47
just
49:47
to
49:47
even
49:48
just
49:48
do
49:48
one
49:48
thing
49:49
that
49:51
will
49:51
start
49:52
her
49:52
on
49:53
this,
49:53
on
49:53
this
49:53
new
49:54
path
49:54
and
49:55
you
49:55
know,
49:55
for
49:55
positive
49:56
change
49:56
without
49:57
it
49:57
feel,
49:58
feeling
49:58
overwhelming.
49:59
But
49:59
we'll
50:00
work
50:00
quickly.
50:00
Like,
50:01
what
50:01
is
50:01
that
50:01
one
50:02
thing
50:02
that
50:03
will
50:03
kind
50:03
of
50:03
get
50:03
her
50:04
to
50:04
that
50:04
place?
50:05
You
50:06
know,
50:06
it,
50:06
it
50:06
is
50:06
a
50:07
little
50:07
bit
50:07
hard
50:07
to
50:07
answer
50:08
because
50:08
I
50:08
do
50:08
think
50:09
that
50:09
each
50:09
of
50:09
us
50:09
is
50:10
going
50:10
to
50:10
have
50:11
our
50:11
own
50:13
starting
50:13
point
50:13
that's
50:14
going
50:14
to
50:14
make
50:14
the
50:14
most
50:15
sense
50:15
for
50:15
us.
50:16
So
50:16
it's
50:17
a
50:17
little
50:17
bit
50:17
hard
50:17
to
50:17
say
50:18
what
50:18
specific
50:19
external
50:19
things.
50:20
Some
50:20
version
50:20
of
50:21
rest.
50:22
Some
50:22
version
50:22
of
50:22
rest,
50:23
like
50:23
restoration
50:25
is
50:25
the
50:25
essential
50:26
step
50:26
when
50:26
the
50:27
candle
50:27
is
50:27
burned
50:27
to
50:28
the
50:28
ground.
50:30
There's
50:30
no
50:30
strategy
50:31
that
50:31
can
50:32
get
50:32
us
50:33
out
50:33
of
50:33
that.
50:33
Right?
50:33
We
50:34
just
50:34
have
50:34
to
50:34
rest.
50:35
Maybe
50:35
we
50:36
have
50:36
to
50:36
figure
50:36
out
50:36
how
50:36
to
50:36
make
50:37
A
50:37
new
50:37
candle.
50:38
Maybe
50:38
we
50:38
have
50:38
to
50:38
make
50:38
learn
50:39
how
50:39
to
50:39
figure
50:39
out
50:39
how
50:39
to
50:40
make
50:40
fire
50:40
out
50:40
of
50:40
something
50:41
else.
50:41
Maybe
50:42
we
50:42
need
50:42
to
50:42
ask
50:42
for
50:42
somebody
50:43
else's
50:43
candle.
50:43
Like
50:44
I
50:44
don't
50:44
know
50:44
what
50:44
the
50:45
strategic
50:46
solution
50:46
is,
50:46
but
50:47
we
50:47
have
50:47
to
50:47
rest
50:48
in
50:48
order
50:48
to
50:48
be
50:49
able
50:49
to
50:49
access
50:49
it.
50:51
So
50:51
what
50:51
does
50:52
that
50:52
look
50:52
like
50:52
to
50:53
start?
50:54
How
50:54
does
50:54
that
50:55
align
50:55
with
50:55
the
50:55
busy
50:56
lives
50:56
that
50:56
we
50:56
lead?
50:57
It
50:58
often
50:58
does
50:58
have
50:59
to
50:59
be
50:59
a
50:59
little
50:59
bit
51:00
more
51:00
radical
51:01
than
51:01
you
51:01
would
51:01
like
51:02
it
51:02
to
51:02
be.
51:02
But
51:03
I
51:03
don't
51:03
mean,
51:04
you
51:04
know,
51:04
get
51:05
on
51:05
a
51:05
boat
51:05
to
51:05
Antarctica
51:06
or
51:06
go
51:07
like
51:07
do
51:07
the
51:07
wild
51:08
hiking
51:09
through
51:09
the
51:09
mountains
51:09
thing.
51:10
I
51:10
just
51:10
mean
51:10
like
51:11
take
51:11
a
51:11
day,
51:12
like
51:12
if
51:13
you
51:13
can.
51:14
I
51:14
love
51:14
retreats
51:15
for
51:15
that
51:16
reason
51:16
because
51:16
there's
51:16
a
51:16
little
51:17
bit
51:17
of
51:17
structure
51:17
around
51:18
them.
51:18
It
51:19
sort
51:19
of
51:19
makes
51:19
sense
51:20
to
51:20
the
51:20
people
51:20
around
51:20
us.
51:21
Like,
51:21
right.
51:21
Like
51:21
mom's
51:22
going
51:22
on
51:22
a
51:23
two
51:23
day
51:24
meditation
51:25
retreat
51:26
or
51:26
yoga
51:26
or
51:27
even
51:27
skiing
51:28
or
51:28
like
51:28
whatever
51:28
it
51:29
is
51:29
that
51:29
you
51:29
like
51:29
to
51:30
do
51:30
do,
51:30
that
51:30
you're
51:30
carving
51:31
out
51:31
that
51:31
time
51:32
for
51:33
that's
51:33
just
51:34
yours.
51:34
Going
51:34
on
51:34
vacation
51:35
with
51:35
your
51:35
husband
51:35
and
51:35
kids
51:36
doesn't
51:36
count.
51:36
You're
51:37
just
51:37
momming
51:37
in
51:38
a
51:38
different
51:38
location.
51:39
That
51:40
is
51:40
work,
51:40
by
51:40
the
51:40
way.
51:41
That
51:41
is
51:41
work.
51:43
Yes,
51:43
exactly,
51:44
exactly.
51:45
So
51:45
I
51:45
think
51:45
that's
51:46
a
51:46
trap,
51:46
right?
51:47
That
51:47
people
51:47
feel
51:47
like,
51:48
well,
51:48
I
51:48
just
51:48
took
51:48
a
51:48
vacation,
51:49
but
51:49
I
51:49
don't
51:49
feel
51:49
any
51:50
better.
51:50
Well,
51:50
you
51:50
didn't
51:51
really
51:51
restore.
51:53
So
51:53
whatever
51:53
it
51:53
is,
51:54
I
51:54
mean
51:55
it's
51:55
something
51:55
you
51:55
can
51:56
do
51:56
it
51:56
at
51:56
home
51:57
if
51:57
you
51:58
could
51:58
bound
51:59
your
51:59
life.
51:59
But
51:59
it
52:00
is
52:00
often
52:00
easier
52:01
to
52:01
kind
52:01
of
52:01
carve
52:02
out
52:02
physical
52:02
space
52:03
and
52:03
physical
52:03
time
52:04
to
52:04
with
52:05
the
52:05
intention
52:06
that
52:06
this
52:06
is
52:06
my
52:07
time
52:07
to
52:07
really
52:07
restore
52:09
myself.
52:09
I'm
52:09
not
52:10
going
52:10
to
52:10
be
52:10
100%
52:11
fixed
52:11
at
52:12
the
52:12
end
52:12
of
52:12
this,
52:13
but
52:13
I'm
52:13
acknowledging
52:14
that
52:14
this
52:14
is
52:14
a
52:14
necessary
52:15
step
52:15
for
52:15
me
52:16
to
52:16
kind
52:16
of
52:16
just
52:16
like
52:17
get
52:17
those
52:18
base
52:18
resources,
52:19
get
52:19
eight
52:20
hours
52:20
of
52:20
sleep,
52:21
be
52:21
able
52:21
to
52:21
eat
52:22
a
52:22
nourishing
52:22
meal
52:22
that
52:22
was
52:23
cooked
52:23
by
52:23
somebody
52:23
other
52:24
than
52:24
me,
52:25
be
52:25
able
52:25
to
52:25
drink
52:25
some
52:26
water
52:26
or
52:26
some
52:27
fancy
52:27
spa
52:28
or
52:28
whatever.
52:29
You
52:29
don't
52:30
have
52:30
to
52:30
go
52:30
to
52:30
a
52:30
fancy
52:31
place
52:31
that
52:31
costs
52:31
a
52:31
lot
52:32
of
52:32
money.
52:32
That's
52:32
not
52:32
what
52:32
I'm
52:33
saying.
52:33
But
52:33
sometimes
52:34
just
52:35
carving
52:35
out
52:35
time
52:35
and
52:36
space
52:36
is
52:36
what
52:37
we
52:37
need
52:37
when
52:37
we
52:37
really
52:38
get
52:38
to
52:38
that
52:38
drastic
52:39
of
52:39
a
52:39
time.
52:40
Again,
52:41
a
52:41
lot
52:41
cheaper
52:42
than
52:42
getting
52:42
admitted
52:42
to
52:43
the
52:43
hospital
52:43
for
52:43
three
52:44
days.
52:44
So
52:45
take
52:46
the
52:46
time
52:46
that
52:47
you
52:47
need.
52:48
If
52:48
that's
52:49
not
52:49
available,
52:49
look
52:50
for
52:50
what
52:50
rest
52:50
is
52:51
available
52:51
to
52:51
you.
52:53
Maybe
52:53
that
52:53
is
52:53
just
52:54
getting
52:54
in
52:54
bed
52:55
an
52:55
hour
52:55
earlier.
52:56
Maybe
52:56
that
52:57
is,
52:57
you
52:57
know,
52:57
talking
52:57
to
52:58
your
52:58
husband
52:58
or
52:59
your
52:59
kids
52:59
or
52:59
whoever
52:59
you
53:00
share
53:00
your
53:00
life
53:00
with
53:01
that
53:01
you
53:02
need
53:02
to
53:02
kind
53:02
of
53:02
shut
53:02
down
53:03
at
53:04
8
53:04
o'
53:04
clock
53:04
and
53:05
be
53:05
able
53:05
to
53:05
go
53:05
in
53:05
your
53:06
room
53:06
and
53:06
have
53:06
quiet
53:06
time.
53:07
And
53:08
even
53:08
if
53:08
it's
53:09
just
53:09
for
53:09
a
53:09
week.
53:10
Right.
53:10
Not
53:10
that
53:10
that's
53:11
the
53:11
permanent
53:11
new
53:13
state
53:13
of
53:13
affairs
53:14
in
53:14
our
53:14
household,
53:14
but
53:15
for
53:15
this
53:15
week,
53:15
I
53:15
need
53:16
to
53:16
be
53:16
able
53:16
to
53:17
check
53:17
out
53:18
a
53:18
little
53:18
bit
53:18
earlier
53:18
so
53:19
that
53:19
I
53:19
can
53:19
restore
53:20
myself.
53:21
Rest
53:21
and
53:21
restoration
53:22
is
53:22
step
53:22
one.
53:23
And
53:23
then
53:24
as
53:24
you
53:24
feel
53:25
like
53:26
you
53:26
can
53:26
get
53:26
your
53:26
feet
53:26
back
53:27
under
53:27
you
53:27
and
53:27
you
53:27
can
53:28
start
53:28
to
53:28
breathe
53:29
again,
53:29
then
53:30
you
53:30
can
53:30
start
53:30
to
53:30
look
53:31
at
53:31
what
53:32
boundaries
53:32
might
53:32
need
53:33
to
53:33
be
53:33
in
53:33
place
53:33
and
53:34
how
53:34
you
53:34
can
53:34
kind
53:34
of
53:35
get
53:35
to
53:35
know
53:36
yourself
53:36
and
53:37
listen
53:37
to
53:37
some
53:38
of
53:38
that
53:38
inner
53:38
knowing
53:39
about
53:39
what
53:40
other
53:40
decisions
53:40
might
53:41
need
53:41
to
53:41
be
53:41
made.
53:42
But
53:42
I
53:42
think
53:43
people
53:43
often
53:44
feel
53:44
frustrated
53:45
when
53:45
they
53:45
start
53:46
trying
53:46
to
53:46
kind
53:46
of
53:47
reorganize
53:48
their
53:48
lives
53:49
when
53:50
they're
53:50
not
53:50
rested.
53:52
Right.
53:52
The
53:53
metaphor
53:53
I
53:53
like
53:53
is
53:54
that
53:54
if
53:54
like
53:54
you
53:54
had
53:54
just
53:54
worked
53:55
a
53:55
12
53:55
hour
53:55
shift
53:56
and
53:56
not
53:57
had
53:57
lunch
53:57
or
53:57
dinner
53:58
yet,
53:58
and
53:58
then
53:58
you
53:59
came
53:59
home
53:59
and
53:59
I
53:59
showed
54:00
you
54:00
like
54:00
the
54:01
messiest
54:01
closet
54:02
in
54:02
your
54:02
entire
54:03
house
54:03
and
54:03
asked
54:03
you
54:03
to
54:03
reorganize
54:04
it,
54:05
that's
54:05
not
54:06
gonna
54:06
go
54:06
well.
54:06
No,
54:07
no,
54:08
no.
54:08
Sounds
54:09
like
54:09
torture.
54:10
This
54:11
is
54:11
what
54:11
we're
54:11
trying
54:11
to
54:12
do
54:12
when
54:12
we're
54:12
looking
54:13
at
54:14
all
54:14
of
54:14
the
54:15
stuff
54:15
that's
54:16
online
54:16
and
54:17
everybody
54:17
who's
54:17
got
54:18
their
54:18
five
54:19
step
54:19
program
54:20
for
54:20
this
54:20
or
54:21
their
54:22
way
54:22
to
54:23
do
54:23
this,
54:23
or
54:24
God
54:24
bless
54:24
75
54:25
hard.
54:27
Anything
54:27
that's
54:27
really
54:28
external
54:28
like
54:28
that.
54:30
And
54:31
we've
54:31
all
54:31
tried
54:32
them
54:33
because
54:33
that's
54:33
society
54:34
saying,
54:34
one
54:34
more
54:35
thing.
54:35
You
54:36
should
54:37
be
54:37
exercising.
54:38
You
54:38
should
54:39
have
54:39
organized
54:39
closets.
54:40
You
54:40
should
54:41
have
54:41
a
54:42
well
54:42
organized
54:43
calendar
54:43
and
54:43
know
54:44
where
54:44
you're
54:44
supposed
54:44
to
54:45
be
54:45
at
54:45
all
54:45
times
54:46
and
54:46
never
54:46
miss
54:47
a
54:47
meeting
54:47
or
54:47
a
54:47
phone
54:48
call.
54:49
And
54:49
if
54:49
you
54:50
only
54:50
have
54:50
this
54:50
app,
54:51
everything
54:51
will
54:51
be
54:51
sorted.
54:52
That
54:52
is
54:53
all
54:53
some
54:53
version
54:54
of
54:54
trying
54:54
to
54:54
organize
54:55
that
54:55
closet.
54:55
When
54:56
you
54:56
are
54:56
exhausted,
54:57
you
54:57
need
54:57
to
54:57
rest
54:58
first.
54:58
Yeah.
54:59
I
54:59
mean,
54:59
you
55:00
are
55:00
100%
55:01
right
55:02
about
55:02
that.
55:02
It's
55:03
like
55:03
rest
55:03
is
55:04
so
55:04
key.
55:05
And,
55:05
you
55:05
know,
55:05
because
55:07
burnout
55:08
recovery
55:08
can
55:09
be
55:09
up
55:09
and
55:09
down,
55:10
it's
55:10
not
55:11
necessarily
55:11
like
55:11
a
55:12
linear
55:13
line.
55:13
Right.
55:13
It's
55:14
not
55:14
like,
55:14
okay,
55:14
if
55:14
we
55:15
start
55:15
today
55:15
by,
55:16
you
55:16
know,
55:17
next
55:17
week,
55:17
we
55:18
will
55:18
have
55:18
traveled
55:18
this
55:19
straight
55:19
line
55:19
and
55:19
everything's
55:20
gonna
55:20
be
55:20
okay.
55:21
You
55:21
know,
55:21
it
55:21
often
55:22
goes
55:22
up
55:22
and
55:22
down
55:22
and
55:23
there's
55:23
like
55:23
bumps
55:23
in
55:23
the
55:24
road.
55:24
So
55:25
how
55:25
do
55:25
we
55:26
handle
55:27
that
55:27
as
55:28
part
55:28
of
55:28
the
55:28
recovery
55:29
process?
55:29
Because
55:30
it
55:30
is
55:30
when
55:30
things
55:31
come
55:31
up,
55:31
you
55:31
know,
55:32
bumps
55:32
in
55:32
the
55:32
road,
55:33
it's
55:33
easy
55:33
to
55:34
become
55:34
discouraged
55:35
and
55:35
to
55:35
go
55:36
back
55:36
to
55:36
square
55:36
one
55:36
and
55:37
just
55:37
be
55:37
like,
55:37
this
55:37
isn't
55:38
working,
55:38
you
55:39
or
55:39
I
55:39
can't
55:39
do
55:40
this,
55:40
or
55:40
whatever
55:41
that
55:41
is.
55:42
Like
55:42
how
55:43
do
55:43
we
55:43
navigate
55:44
that
55:44
when
55:44
there
55:44
are
55:45
the
55:45
bumps
55:45
in
55:45
the
55:45
road
55:46
during
55:46
this
55:46
sort
55:47
of
55:47
recovery?
55:48
Yeah.
55:48
You
55:49
know,
55:49
I
55:49
think.
55:49
And
55:49
I
55:49
love
55:50
the
55:50
visual
55:51
of
55:51
the
55:51
upward
55:52
spiral.
55:52
Right.
55:53
Cause
55:53
that
55:53
it
55:53
feels
55:53
like,
55:54
oh,
55:54
I'm
55:54
back
55:54
to
55:54
the
55:54
beginning.
55:55
But
55:55
if
55:55
you
55:55
look
55:56
at
55:56
it
55:56
from
55:56
the
55:57
top,
55:57
you
55:57
know,
55:57
you
55:57
kind
55:58
of
55:58
can
55:58
see
55:58
that
55:58
yet.
55:58
No,
55:59
I
55:59
wasn't
55:59
just
55:59
running
55:59
in
55:59
circles.
56:00
I
56:00
was
56:00
actually
56:00
upward
56:01
spiraling.
56:02
So
56:02
that
56:02
visual
56:03
is
56:03
often
56:04
very
56:04
compelling
56:05
for
56:05
people
56:05
who,
56:06
who
56:06
do
56:06
feel
56:06
like,
56:06
oh
56:07
my
56:07
gosh,
56:07
I'm
56:07
back
56:07
to
56:08
square
56:08
one
56:08
over
56:08
and
56:09
over
56:09
and
56:09
over
56:09
again.
56:11
The
56:12
way
56:12
the
56:13
antidote
56:13
to
56:13
that
56:14
is
56:14
normalizing
56:15
it.
56:15
Like
56:15
you
56:15
just
56:15
said
56:16
it,
56:16
right.
56:16
It's
56:16
that
56:17
way
56:17
for
56:17
everyone.
56:18
That
56:18
is
56:18
humanity.
56:19
Unless
56:20
you're
56:20
ready
56:20
to
56:20
opt
56:20
out
56:21
of
56:21
humanity,
56:22
which
56:23
we're
56:23
not.
56:23
We're
56:23
not.
56:24
Right.
56:24
We're
56:24
still
56:24
here.
56:26
We
56:27
are
56:27
students.
56:27
We
56:28
are
56:28
students
56:28
of
56:28
Earth
56:28
School.
56:29
And
56:29
those
56:29
are
56:29
the
56:30
conditions
56:30
of
56:30
enrollment
56:32
is
56:32
that
56:33
progress
56:33
is
56:34
non
56:34
linear.
56:34
Right.
56:34
It
56:35
just
56:35
is
56:35
for
56:35
everybody.
56:37
And
56:37
I
56:37
think
56:37
that
56:38
I
56:38
do
56:39
tend
56:39
to
56:39
like
56:39
a
56:40
little
56:40
levity,
56:41
a
56:41
little
56:41
playfulness.
56:42
I
56:42
think
56:42
that
56:43
kind
56:43
of
56:43
breaks
56:43
through
56:44
a
56:44
lot
56:44
of
56:44
that
56:44
like
56:45
grippy,
56:46
shameful
56:47
self
56:47
judgment
56:48
that
56:48
we
56:48
can
56:48
get
56:49
into.
56:49
You
56:49
know,
56:49
if
56:49
we're
56:50
just
56:50
like,
56:51
oh,
56:51
this
56:51
is
56:51
just
56:52
Earth
56:52
School
56:52
or
56:53
everybody
56:54
has
56:54
this
56:54
problem,
56:55
then
56:56
you
56:57
again,
56:57
you
56:58
can
56:58
get
56:58
into
56:58
solution
56:59
Focus,
56:59
which
57:00
for
57:00
the
57:00
most
57:00
part
57:01
we
57:01
are
57:01
really,
57:01
really
57:02
good
57:02
at.
57:02
Right.
57:02
Like
57:03
what
57:03
would.
57:04
Okay,
57:04
well
57:04
that
57:05
way
57:05
didn't
57:05
work.
57:05
What
57:06
else
57:06
should
57:06
I
57:06
try?
57:09
I
57:09
think
57:09
that
57:10
that
57:10
is
57:10
the
57:11
tactic
57:11
that
57:12
seems
57:12
to
57:12
be
57:13
very
57:13
successful
57:15
for
57:15
most
57:16
people
57:16
that
57:16
I
57:17
work
57:17
with.
57:19
Self
57:20
compassion.
57:21
Returning
57:22
to
57:22
that
57:23
like
57:24
human
57:25
core.
57:25
Human.
57:26
To
57:26
make
57:26
mistakes
57:27
is
57:27
the.
57:28
One
57:28
of
57:28
the
57:28
hallmarks
57:29
of
57:30
humanity
57:30
is
57:31
to
57:31
make
57:31
mistakes.
57:33
And
57:33
thinking
57:34
otherwise
57:35
is
57:35
basically
57:36
saying
57:37
that
57:37
you're
57:37
not
57:38
human.
57:39
I
57:39
think
57:39
a
57:39
lot
57:39
of
57:40
us
57:40
hold
57:40
a
57:40
non
57:40
human
57:41
story.
57:41
We're
57:42
either
57:42
supposed
57:42
to
57:42
be
57:43
superhuman,
57:43
like
57:44
have
57:44
superpowers
57:45
so
57:45
that
57:45
nothing
57:46
bad
57:46
around
57:46
us
57:46
ever
57:47
happens
57:47
and
57:47
we
57:48
never
57:48
make
57:48
mistakes,
57:49
or
57:49
we're
57:50
supposed
57:50
to
57:50
be
57:50
robots
57:51
in
57:51
which
57:52
we
57:52
do
57:52
not
57:52
have
57:52
the
57:53
needs
57:53
of
57:53
human
57:53
bodies.
57:54
So
57:55
we
57:55
do
57:55
have
57:55
these
57:56
stories
57:57
that
57:58
try
57:59
to
57:59
deny
58:00
the
58:00
fact
58:00
that
58:00
we're
58:00
human,
58:02
but
58:03
we
58:03
are.
58:04
And
58:06
you
58:07
know,
58:07
the
58:07
more
58:07
you
58:07
can
58:07
accept
58:08
that,
58:08
the
58:08
better
58:08
off
58:09
you're
58:09
going.
58:09
To
58:09
be,
58:10
you
58:11
know.
58:11
And
58:11
I
58:11
find
58:11
too
58:12
that
58:13
the
58:13
way
58:13
I've
58:13
broken
58:14
stories
58:14
before
58:15
in
58:15
my
58:15
experience,
58:17
because
58:18
I
58:18
tend
58:18
to
58:19
have
58:19
like
58:20
the
58:20
self
58:20
isolation
58:21
thing
58:21
a
58:21
bit
58:21
where
58:22
I'm
58:22
like,
58:22
if
58:23
I'm
58:23
going
58:23
through
58:23
something,
58:24
I'm
58:24
like,
58:24
oh,
58:24
okay,
58:25
I
58:25
better
58:25
just,
58:25
you
58:26
know,
58:26
take
58:26
the,
58:26
take
58:27
this
58:27
all
58:27
myself
58:28
and
58:28
try
58:28
to
58:28
figure
58:29
it
58:29
out.
58:30
You
58:30
know,
58:30
I
58:30
am
58:30
solution
58:31
oriented.
58:31
But
58:32
at
58:32
the
58:32
same
58:32
time
58:32
I
58:32
self
58:33
isolate.
58:33
I'm
58:33
like,
58:34
well,
58:34
nobody
58:34
else
58:34
can
58:35
be
58:35
going
58:35
through
58:35
something
58:35
like
58:36
this
58:36
right
58:36
now.
58:36
And
58:37
I
58:37
find
58:37
that
58:38
some
58:38
of
58:38
the
58:38
best
58:39
times
58:39
when
58:39
I
58:39
really
58:40
had
58:40
breakthroughs
58:41
is
58:41
when
58:41
I
58:41
pick
58:42
up
58:42
the
58:42
phone
58:42
and
58:42
I
58:43
call
58:43
a
58:43
friend
58:43
or
58:44
call
58:44
my
58:45
sister
58:45
or
58:46
call,
58:46
you
58:46
know,
58:46
like
58:47
my
58:47
mom
58:47
or
58:48
you
58:48
know,
58:48
talk
58:48
to
58:48
my
58:48
husband
58:49
or
58:49
whoever
58:49
it
58:49
is
58:50
and
58:51
quickly
58:52
find
58:52
out
58:52
that
58:53
most
58:54
everybody
58:54
else
58:55
is
58:55
going
58:55
through
58:55
something
58:56
at
58:56
the
58:56
same
58:56
time.
58:57
It
58:57
might
58:57
not
58:58
be
58:58
the
58:58
same
58:58
thing,
58:59
but
59:00
nobody's
59:00
life
59:01
is
59:01
perfect,
59:02
you
59:02
know,
59:02
so
59:02
it's
59:02
like
59:03
I
59:03
feel
59:03
like
59:03
that
59:04
human
59:04
connection
59:05
so
59:05
much
59:05
of
59:05
the
59:05
time
59:06
helps
59:06
break
59:07
some
59:07
of
59:07
these
59:07
cycles
59:08
as
59:08
well.
59:10
Absolutely.
59:11
I
59:11
could
59:12
not
59:12
agree
59:13
more.
59:14
Is
59:14
there
59:14
any
59:14
specific
59:15
way
59:15
you
59:16
start
59:16
that
59:16
conversation
59:17
or
59:17
is
59:17
it
59:17
just
59:18
any
59:18
chit
59:18
chat?
59:19
You
59:20
know,
59:20
I
59:20
think
59:20
it's,
59:21
for
59:21
me,
59:21
I
59:22
think
59:22
it's
59:22
like,
59:22
you
59:23
know,
59:23
just
59:24
first
59:24
of
59:24
all
59:24
letting
59:25
go
59:25
of
59:25
the
59:26
notion
59:26
in
59:26
my
59:26
head
59:27
that
59:27
I'm
59:27
like,
59:27
I'm
59:28
the
59:28
only
59:28
person
59:28
in
59:28
the
59:28
world
59:29
that's
59:29
dealing
59:29
with
59:29
something
59:30
right
59:30
now.
59:30
You
59:30
know,
59:31
first
59:31
it's
59:31
like
59:31
letting
59:32
go
59:32
of
59:32
that
59:33
and
59:33
then
59:33
really
59:34
just.
59:36
Just.
59:36
Being
59:36
honest
59:37
with
59:37
them,
59:37
you
59:38
know,
59:38
being
59:38
like,
59:38
I'm
59:39
having
59:39
a
59:39
really
59:40
shitty
59:40
time
59:41
right
59:41
now.
59:41
There's
59:42
something
59:42
going
59:42
on,
59:43
you
59:43
know,
59:43
like
59:44
I'm
59:44
dealing
59:44
with
59:45
this
59:45
and
59:45
really
59:46
just
59:46
laying
59:46
it
59:46
out
59:47
there.
59:47
And
59:47
I
59:47
do
59:47
think
59:48
that
59:49
comes
59:49
from
59:49
also
59:50
having,
59:50
you
59:51
know,
59:51
friends
59:51
that
59:51
you
59:51
trust,
59:52
obviously
59:52
and
59:53
like
59:53
that
59:53
are
59:53
there
59:54
for
59:54
you,
59:54
having
59:54
that
59:54
good
59:55
foundation
59:55
of
59:55
friendships,
59:56
but
59:57
also
59:57
just
59:58
letting
59:58
go
59:58
of
59:58
that
59:59
ego
59:59
and
59:59
just
59:59
that
1:00:00
insecurity
1:00:00
that
1:00:01
it's
1:00:01
like,
1:00:01
oh
1:00:01
my
1:00:01
God,
1:00:02
you
1:00:02
know,
1:00:02
what
1:00:02
are
1:00:03
they
1:00:03
going
1:00:03
to
1:00:03
judge
1:00:03
me?
1:00:04
You
1:00:04
know,
1:00:05
are
1:00:05
they
1:00:05
going
1:00:06
to
1:00:06
feel
1:00:06
a
1:00:06
different
1:00:06
way
1:00:06
about
1:00:07
me
1:00:07
if
1:00:07
I'm
1:00:07
honest
1:00:08
about
1:00:08
what
1:00:08
I'm
1:00:08
going
1:00:09
through?
1:00:10
And
1:00:10
I
1:00:10
feel
1:00:10
like
1:00:12
whether
1:00:12
they,
1:00:12
even
1:00:12
if,
1:00:13
even
1:00:13
if
1:00:13
it
1:00:13
is
1:00:13
a
1:00:14
really
1:00:14
good
1:00:14
friend
1:00:14
in,
1:00:15
in
1:00:15
some
1:00:15
part
1:00:16
of
1:00:16
their
1:00:16
mind
1:00:17
they're
1:00:17
judging
1:00:17
me
1:00:17
or
1:00:18
not,
1:00:18
that's
1:00:18
none
1:00:18
of
1:00:19
my
1:00:19
business.
1:00:19
Like
1:00:20
that
1:00:20
should
1:00:20
not
1:00:20
have
1:00:21
any,
1:00:22
you
1:00:22
know,
1:00:22
impact
1:00:23
on
1:00:24
how
1:00:24
I
1:00:24
carry
1:00:25
myself,
1:00:25
you
1:00:25
know,
1:00:26
and
1:00:26
like
1:00:26
the
1:00:27
next
1:00:27
decision
1:00:27
that
1:00:27
I'm
1:00:28
making
1:00:28
to,
1:00:28
you
1:00:29
know,
1:00:29
find
1:00:29
a
1:00:30
solution
1:00:30
for
1:00:30
what,
1:00:31
for
1:00:31
what
1:00:31
I'm
1:00:31
dealing
1:00:31
with.
1:00:32
It's
1:00:32
like,
1:00:32
I
1:00:33
think
1:00:33
like
1:00:33
so
1:00:33
much
1:00:33
of
1:00:34
the
1:00:34
time
1:00:34
too,
1:00:34
we
1:00:34
get
1:00:34
so
1:00:35
hung
1:00:35
up
1:00:35
on
1:00:35
what
1:00:35
somebody
1:00:36
else
1:00:36
thinks
1:00:37
of
1:00:37
us,
1:00:37
it's
1:00:38
like,
1:00:38
just
1:00:38
let
1:00:39
that
1:00:39
go.
1:00:39
It
1:00:40
doesn't,
1:00:40
it's
1:00:40
none
1:00:40
of
1:00:40
our
1:00:41
business
1:00:41
what
1:00:41
they
1:00:41
think
1:00:41
of
1:00:42
us
1:00:42
in
1:00:42
that
1:00:42
way.
1:00:43
Don't
1:00:43
burden
1:00:43
yourself
1:00:44
with
1:00:44
what
1:00:44
they
1:00:44
think
1:00:44
of
1:00:45
you.
1:00:45
You
1:00:45
know,
1:00:45
it's
1:00:46
like
1:00:46
just
1:00:47
really
1:00:47
focus
1:00:47
on
1:00:48
what
1:00:48
you
1:00:48
need
1:00:48
to
1:00:49
do.
1:00:49
Which
1:00:49
I
1:00:50
know
1:00:50
is
1:00:50
easier
1:00:51
said
1:00:51
than
1:00:51
done,
1:00:52
but
1:00:52
I
1:00:53
try
1:00:53
to
1:00:53
Kind
1:00:53
of
1:00:53
keep
1:00:54
that
1:00:54
in
1:00:54
my
1:00:54
mind,
1:00:54
you
1:00:55
know.
1:00:55
Yeah.
1:00:56
No,
1:00:56
and
1:00:56
that.
1:00:56
And
1:00:57
that
1:00:57
is.
1:00:57
Right.
1:00:58
That's
1:00:58
a
1:00:58
huge
1:00:58
piece
1:00:59
of
1:00:59
advice
1:00:59
for
1:01:00
a
1:01:00
lot
1:01:00
of
1:01:00
people,
1:01:00
is
1:01:01
to
1:01:02
not
1:01:02
let
1:01:02
that
1:01:03
fear
1:01:03
of
1:01:04
other
1:01:04
people's
1:01:04
opinions
1:01:05
keep
1:01:05
you
1:01:05
from
1:01:06
talking
1:01:06
to
1:01:06
other
1:01:06
people.
1:01:07
Right.
1:01:08
That's
1:01:08
hurting.
1:01:08
That's
1:01:08
hurting
1:01:09
you.
1:01:09
Because
1:01:10
connection
1:01:11
with
1:01:11
others
1:01:11
is
1:01:12
often
1:01:13
so
1:01:13
helpful
1:01:14
and
1:01:14
healing
1:01:14
to
1:01:15
normalize
1:01:16
the
1:01:16
experiences,
1:01:18
to
1:01:19
just
1:01:19
hear
1:01:20
another
1:01:20
human's
1:01:21
voice
1:01:21
or
1:01:21
feel
1:01:21
another
1:01:22
human
1:01:22
touch.
1:01:23
Right.
1:01:23
We
1:01:24
saw
1:01:24
this
1:01:25
during
1:01:25
the
1:01:26
pandemic
1:01:27
times
1:01:27
when
1:01:28
people
1:01:28
were
1:01:28
so
1:01:29
isolated
1:01:29
and
1:01:30
all
1:01:30
of
1:01:30
the
1:01:31
symptoms
1:01:32
that
1:01:32
people
1:01:32
were
1:01:32
experiencing
1:01:33
through
1:01:33
that
1:01:33
lack
1:01:34
of
1:01:34
connection.
1:01:35
So
1:01:36
I
1:01:36
think
1:01:36
that
1:01:36
that's.
1:01:37
That's
1:01:37
really,
1:01:37
really
1:01:38
important
1:01:38
point.
1:01:40
Yeah.
1:01:40
And
1:01:40
then
1:01:41
you,
1:01:41
like
1:01:41
you
1:01:41
said,
1:01:42
I
1:01:42
mean,
1:01:42
everybody
1:01:43
always
1:01:43
asks
1:01:43
me,
1:01:44
it's
1:01:44
so
1:01:44
easy
1:01:45
to
1:01:45
say,
1:01:45
just
1:01:45
let
1:01:45
it
1:01:46
go
1:01:46
or
1:01:46
don't
1:01:46
let
1:01:46
it
1:01:46
bother
1:01:46
you.
1:01:47
Like,
1:01:47
I
1:01:47
wish
1:01:47
I
1:01:47
could
1:01:47
just
1:01:48
flip
1:01:48
the
1:01:48
switch.
1:01:50
And,
1:01:51
you
1:01:51
know,
1:01:51
I
1:01:51
think
1:01:52
that
1:01:52
my
1:01:53
response,
1:01:54
which
1:01:54
is
1:01:54
not
1:01:55
my
1:01:55
own
1:01:55
thought,
1:01:55
but
1:01:56
I'll
1:01:56
do
1:01:56
my
1:01:56
best
1:01:56
to
1:01:57
regurgitate
1:01:57
it,
1:01:57
just,
1:01:58
you
1:01:58
know,
1:01:58
I
1:01:58
can't
1:01:59
really
1:02:01
absolve
1:02:02
you
1:02:02
or
1:02:02
take
1:02:02
away
1:02:03
that
1:02:04
attachment,
1:02:05
but
1:02:05
I
1:02:05
can
1:02:05
hope
1:02:06
to
1:02:06
show
1:02:06
you
1:02:06
what
1:02:07
pain
1:02:07
that
1:02:08
attachment
1:02:08
is
1:02:08
causing
1:02:09
you.
1:02:09
And
1:02:09
that
1:02:10
as
1:02:10
you
1:02:10
begin
1:02:11
to
1:02:11
see,
1:02:11
oh,
1:02:12
the
1:02:12
more
1:02:12
I
1:02:12
worry
1:02:13
about
1:02:13
how
1:02:13
much
1:02:13
people
1:02:13
are
1:02:14
thinking
1:02:14
about
1:02:14
me
1:02:15
is
1:02:15
hurting
1:02:16
me,
1:02:17
then,
1:02:17
well,
1:02:17
why
1:02:17
would
1:02:18
I
1:02:18
want
1:02:18
to
1:02:18
hurt
1:02:18
myself?
1:02:19
You
1:02:19
know,
1:02:19
then
1:02:20
you
1:02:20
can
1:02:20
start
1:02:20
to
1:02:21
kind
1:02:21
of
1:02:21
release
1:02:21
that.
1:02:23
But
1:02:23
that
1:02:23
the
1:02:23
grip
1:02:24
that
1:02:24
we
1:02:24
have
1:02:26
is
1:02:26
long
1:02:26
standing.
1:02:27
You
1:02:28
know,
1:02:28
if
1:02:28
we
1:02:28
think
1:02:28
about
1:02:30
patterns
1:02:31
in
1:02:31
our
1:02:31
minds,
1:02:32
which,
1:02:32
you
1:02:33
know,
1:02:33
the
1:02:33
neuroplasticity
1:02:35
element
1:02:36
of
1:02:36
sort
1:02:37
of
1:02:37
like
1:02:37
fixed
1:02:38
wiring,
1:02:39
which
1:02:39
now
1:02:40
we
1:02:40
know
1:02:40
to
1:02:40
be
1:02:40
incorrect,
1:02:41
that
1:02:41
we
1:02:41
can
1:02:41
rewire
1:02:42
and
1:02:42
be
1:02:43
plastic
1:02:43
and
1:02:44
rewire,
1:02:46
but
1:02:46
that
1:02:46
if
1:02:47
we
1:02:47
think
1:02:47
about
1:02:47
sort
1:02:48
of
1:02:48
the
1:02:48
grooves
1:02:48
that
1:02:48
are
1:02:49
there
1:02:49
are
1:02:50
at
1:02:50
least
1:02:50
as
1:02:50
old
1:02:50
as
1:02:51
we
1:02:51
are,
1:02:51
if
1:02:52
not
1:02:53
older,
1:02:54
you
1:02:54
know,
1:02:54
if
1:02:54
not
1:02:55
patterned
1:02:55
from
1:02:57
our
1:02:57
ancestors
1:02:58
or
1:02:58
at
1:02:59
least
1:02:59
our
1:03:00
epigenetics,
1:03:01
that's
1:03:02
a
1:03:02
lot
1:03:02
to
1:03:02
have
1:03:03
to
1:03:03
untangle.
1:03:03
Of
1:03:03
course,
1:03:04
you're
1:03:04
not
1:03:04
going
1:03:04
to
1:03:04
just
1:03:04
be
1:03:04
able
1:03:04
to
1:03:05
flip
1:03:05
the
1:03:05
switch
1:03:05
and,
1:03:05
like,
1:03:06
not
1:03:06
care
1:03:06
about
1:03:06
what
1:03:06
people
1:03:07
think
1:03:07
about
1:03:07
you
1:03:07
anymore,
1:03:08
just.
1:03:08
Just
1:03:09
because
1:03:09
Emma
1:03:09
and
1:03:09
Roxy
1:03:10
said
1:03:10
so.
1:03:11
Right.
1:03:11
It's
1:03:11
not
1:03:11
that
1:03:12
easy.
1:03:12
It's
1:03:12
not
1:03:12
that
1:03:13
easy.
1:03:13
I
1:03:13
know.
1:03:13
I
1:03:14
know
1:03:14
it's
1:03:14
not
1:03:14
that
1:03:14
easy.
1:03:14
But
1:03:15
it
1:03:15
is
1:03:15
possible
1:03:17
because
1:03:18
I
1:03:18
have
1:03:18
seen
1:03:18
it.
1:03:19
Right.
1:03:19
I
1:03:19
have
1:03:19
done
1:03:19
it
1:03:19
for
1:03:20
myself.
1:03:20
I
1:03:20
have
1:03:20
walked
1:03:21
with
1:03:21
people.
1:03:21
You've
1:03:22
probably
1:03:22
done
1:03:22
it,
1:03:22
you
1:03:22
know,
1:03:23
like
1:03:23
you
1:03:23
said,
1:03:23
you
1:03:23
can.
1:03:25
The
1:03:25
framework
1:03:26
you
1:03:26
laid
1:03:27
it
1:03:27
out
1:03:27
is
1:03:27
your
1:03:28
business,
1:03:28
my
1:03:28
business,
1:03:29
and
1:03:30
God's
1:03:30
business
1:03:30
or
1:03:31
the
1:03:31
universe's
1:03:31
business.
1:03:32
Right.
1:03:32
And
1:03:32
knowing
1:03:33
whose
1:03:33
business
1:03:33
we're
1:03:34
in
1:03:35
and
1:03:36
asking,
1:03:36
I
1:03:36
mean,
1:03:37
I
1:03:37
ask
1:03:37
myself
1:03:37
that
1:03:38
question
1:03:38
all
1:03:38
the
1:03:38
time,
1:03:38
like
1:03:39
Whose
1:03:39
business
1:03:39
am
1:03:39
I
1:03:40
in
1:03:40
right
1:03:40
now?
1:03:41
And
1:03:41
other
1:03:41
people's
1:03:42
opinions
1:03:42
of
1:03:42
me
1:03:43
is
1:03:43
their
1:03:43
business.
1:03:44
My
1:03:44
behavior
1:03:45
is
1:03:46
my
1:03:46
business.
1:03:47
But
1:03:48
how
1:03:48
they
1:03:48
perceive
1:03:49
it,
1:03:49
how
1:03:50
it
1:03:50
lands,
1:03:50
what
1:03:50
they
1:03:51
think
1:03:51
about
1:03:51
it,
1:03:51
that's
1:03:52
their
1:03:52
business.
1:03:53
And
1:03:53
then
1:03:54
what's
1:03:54
going
1:03:54
to
1:03:54
happen
1:03:54
to
1:03:55
me
1:03:55
ultimately,
1:03:56
like
1:03:56
all
1:03:56
the
1:03:56
circumstances
1:03:57
of
1:03:57
the
1:03:57
world,
1:03:57
I
1:03:58
mean,
1:03:58
that's
1:03:59
God's
1:03:59
business.
1:04:00
Like,
1:04:00
none
1:04:00
of
1:04:00
us
1:04:01
have
1:04:01
dominion
1:04:02
over
1:04:02
that.
1:04:04
No.
1:04:05
And
1:04:05
also
1:04:05
letting
1:04:06
what
1:04:07
people
1:04:07
think
1:04:07
of
1:04:08
you
1:04:08
hold
1:04:08
you
1:04:08
back,
1:04:09
that's
1:04:09
such
1:04:09
a.
1:04:10
It's
1:04:10
like
1:04:10
a
1:04:10
potential
1:04:11
killer.
1:04:11
Like,
1:04:12
so
1:04:12
much
1:04:12
potential
1:04:13
has
1:04:13
been,
1:04:15
you
1:04:15
know,
1:04:15
not.
1:04:16
Has
1:04:16
not
1:04:16
come
1:04:17
to
1:04:17
fruition
1:04:17
because
1:04:18
maybe
1:04:18
somebody
1:04:19
thought,
1:04:19
oh,
1:04:19
this
1:04:20
idea.
1:04:20
God,
1:04:21
what
1:04:21
are
1:04:21
people
1:04:21
going
1:04:21
to
1:04:21
think
1:04:21
of
1:04:22
me
1:04:22
if
1:04:22
I
1:04:22
put
1:04:22
it
1:04:22
out
1:04:23
there?
1:04:23
You
1:04:23
know,
1:04:23
so
1:04:24
it's
1:04:24
safer
1:04:24
for
1:04:24
me
1:04:24
to
1:04:25
just
1:04:25
hold
1:04:25
it
1:04:25
in
1:04:25
and
1:04:25
not.
1:04:26
Not
1:04:26
show
1:04:27
everybody,
1:04:27
you
1:04:27
know,
1:04:28
this
1:04:28
great
1:04:28
idea
1:04:28
I
1:04:29
have
1:04:29
or
1:04:29
what
1:04:29
have
1:04:29
you.
1:04:29
And
1:04:29
it's
1:04:30
like.
1:04:30
It's
1:04:30
like
1:04:30
heartbreaking.
1:04:31
And
1:04:31
I
1:04:32
feel
1:04:32
like
1:04:32
in
1:04:32
midlife,
1:04:33
too,
1:04:33
this
1:04:33
is
1:04:33
a
1:04:33
big.
1:04:34
This
1:04:34
is
1:04:34
a
1:04:35
big
1:04:35
thing,
1:04:35
you
1:04:35
know,
1:04:35
it
1:04:36
stops
1:04:36
people
1:04:36
in
1:04:36
their
1:04:37
tracks
1:04:38
from
1:04:38
fully
1:04:39
realizing
1:04:39
their
1:04:39
potential,
1:04:40
you
1:04:40
know,
1:04:41
And
1:04:41
I
1:04:41
think
1:04:42
that
1:04:42
that
1:04:42
is
1:04:43
a
1:04:43
real
1:04:43
shame,
1:04:43
you
1:04:44
know.
1:04:44
Yeah,
1:04:45
it
1:04:45
is.
1:04:46
I
1:04:46
mean,
1:04:47
and
1:04:47
I
1:04:47
experienced
1:04:48
that.
1:04:48
I
1:04:48
mean,
1:04:48
we
1:04:48
started
1:04:49
out
1:04:49
talking
1:04:49
about
1:04:50
my,
1:04:50
you
1:04:51
know,
1:04:51
my
1:04:51
social
1:04:51
media,
1:04:52
and
1:04:53
that
1:04:53
was
1:04:53
a
1:04:53
huge
1:04:54
edge
1:04:55
for
1:04:55
me,
1:04:55
that
1:04:56
I
1:04:56
was
1:04:56
very.
1:04:57
Not
1:04:57
shy,
1:04:58
because
1:04:58
I'm
1:04:58
not
1:04:58
a
1:04:58
shy
1:04:59
person,
1:04:59
but
1:04:59
reluctant
1:05:00
to
1:05:01
put
1:05:01
things
1:05:01
out,
1:05:02
reluctant
1:05:02
to
1:05:02
kind
1:05:02
of
1:05:02
make
1:05:03
a
1:05:03
stand,
1:05:03
right?
1:05:04
Like,
1:05:04
oh,
1:05:04
let
1:05:04
me
1:05:04
make
1:05:05
sure
1:05:05
it's
1:05:05
not
1:05:05
anything
1:05:06
anybody
1:05:06
would
1:05:06
disagree
1:05:07
with.
1:05:07
And
1:05:07
I
1:05:08
still
1:05:08
not.
1:05:08
I
1:05:08
try
1:05:09
not
1:05:09
to
1:05:09
be
1:05:09
inflammatory,
1:05:10
but
1:05:11
that
1:05:12
fear,
1:05:13
right,
1:05:13
about
1:05:14
what
1:05:14
if
1:05:14
they
1:05:14
don't
1:05:15
like
1:05:15
me?
1:05:16
What
1:05:16
if
1:05:17
this
1:05:17
upsets
1:05:18
people?
1:05:18
What
1:05:19
if
1:05:21
they
1:05:21
say
1:05:21
mean
1:05:22
things
1:05:22
about
1:05:22
me?
1:05:22
You
1:05:23
know,
1:05:23
all
1:05:23
of
1:05:23
those
1:05:23
things,
1:05:24
I
1:05:24
think
1:05:25
definitely
1:05:26
came
1:05:26
at
1:05:26
me
1:05:27
as
1:05:27
I
1:05:28
was
1:05:28
thinking
1:05:28
about
1:05:31
making
1:05:31
more
1:05:31
public
1:05:32
content,
1:05:32
you
1:05:32
know,
1:05:33
and
1:05:33
going
1:05:33
from.
1:05:33
I
1:05:34
had.
1:05:34
I
1:05:34
had
1:05:34
always
1:05:35
done
1:05:35
a
1:05:35
blog,
1:05:35
I
1:05:36
had
1:05:36
always
1:05:36
done
1:05:36
a
1:05:37
lot
1:05:37
of
1:05:37
teaching
1:05:38
in
1:05:38
person.
1:05:39
And
1:05:39
then
1:05:40
I,
1:05:40
you
1:05:40
know,
1:05:40
I
1:05:40
had
1:05:40
a
1:05:41
book,
1:05:41
but
1:05:41
the.
1:05:41
The
1:05:42
book
1:05:42
is,
1:05:42
like,
1:05:43
kind
1:05:43
of
1:05:44
removed,
1:05:44
right?
1:05:45
Like,
1:05:45
when
1:05:45
people
1:05:46
don't
1:05:46
typically,
1:05:46
like,
1:05:46
call
1:05:47
you
1:05:47
up
1:05:47
and
1:05:47
tell
1:05:47
you
1:05:47
what
1:05:47
they
1:05:48
thought
1:05:48
about
1:05:48
your
1:05:48
book,
1:05:49
they
1:05:49
just
1:05:49
read
1:05:49
it
1:05:50
and
1:05:50
they
1:05:50
either
1:05:50
like
1:05:50
it
1:05:50
or
1:05:51
they
1:05:51
don't
1:05:51
like
1:05:51
it.
1:05:51
Right.
1:05:53
When
1:05:53
you
1:05:53
start
1:05:54
engaging
1:05:54
online,
1:05:56
there's
1:05:56
this
1:05:57
give
1:05:57
and
1:05:57
take
1:05:58
that.
1:05:58
That
1:05:59
can
1:05:59
be
1:05:59
really.
1:06:01
It.
1:06:01
It
1:06:02
pokes
1:06:02
at
1:06:03
a
1:06:03
lot
1:06:03
of
1:06:03
those
1:06:03
fears
1:06:04
that
1:06:04
we
1:06:04
all
1:06:05
have.
1:06:06
And
1:06:07
so
1:06:07
even
1:06:07
though
1:06:08
I
1:06:08
had
1:06:08
kind
1:06:09
of
1:06:09
worked
1:06:09
through
1:06:10
a
1:06:10
lot
1:06:11
of
1:06:11
the
1:06:11
things
1:06:12
with.
1:06:13
With
1:06:13
that
1:06:14
in
1:06:14
my
1:06:14
own
1:06:14
life,
1:06:15
right?
1:06:15
Like,
1:06:15
oh,
1:06:15
I
1:06:16
know
1:06:16
I
1:06:16
make
1:06:16
my
1:06:17
decisions,
1:06:17
and
1:06:17
if
1:06:17
people
1:06:17
don't
1:06:18
like
1:06:18
it,
1:06:18
they
1:06:18
don't
1:06:18
like
1:06:18
it
1:06:19
when
1:06:19
it.
1:06:19
When
1:06:19
it
1:06:19
was
1:06:19
at
1:06:20
this,
1:06:20
at
1:06:20
scale,
1:06:21
right?
1:06:21
Oh,
1:06:21
now
1:06:22
it's
1:06:22
all
1:06:22
of
1:06:22
these
1:06:23
thousands
1:06:23
of
1:06:23
people
1:06:24
who
1:06:24
may
1:06:24
like
1:06:24
me
1:06:24
or
1:06:25
not
1:06:25
like
1:06:25
me.
1:06:26
It
1:06:26
was
1:06:26
a
1:06:26
different
1:06:26
thing
1:06:27
to
1:06:27
have
1:06:27
to
1:06:27
work
1:06:27
through
1:06:28
for
1:06:28
sure.
1:06:29
How
1:06:30
did
1:06:30
you
1:06:30
work
1:06:30
through
1:06:30
it?
1:06:31
Like,
1:06:31
did
1:06:31
you.
1:06:32
Was
1:06:32
it
1:06:33
that
1:06:33
you
1:06:33
saw
1:06:33
that
1:06:33
the
1:06:34
good
1:06:34
outweighs
1:06:34
the
1:06:34
bad?
1:06:35
Was
1:06:35
it
1:06:35
like,
1:06:35
you
1:06:36
know,
1:06:36
how
1:06:36
do
1:06:36
you
1:06:37
get
1:06:37
yourself
1:06:37
to
1:06:37
that
1:06:37
point
1:06:38
where
1:06:38
you
1:06:38
kind
1:06:38
of.
1:06:39
I
1:06:39
don't
1:06:39
want
1:06:39
to
1:06:39
say
1:06:39
you
1:06:39
don't
1:06:40
care
1:06:40
because
1:06:40
I
1:06:41
think
1:06:41
everybody
1:06:41
still
1:06:42
cares,
1:06:42
but
1:06:42
it's,
1:06:43
you
1:06:43
know,
1:06:44
it's
1:06:44
giving,
1:06:45
it's,
1:06:45
it's,
1:06:46
it's
1:06:46
not
1:06:47
putting
1:06:47
so
1:06:48
much
1:06:49
importance
1:06:50
on
1:06:50
if
1:06:50
they
1:06:50
don't
1:06:51
like
1:06:51
you
1:06:51
or,
1:06:51
you
1:06:52
know,
1:06:52
in
1:06:52
that
1:06:52
way.
1:06:53
You
1:06:54
know,
1:06:54
I
1:06:54
think
1:06:54
that
1:06:56
having
1:06:56
that
1:06:56
capacity
1:06:57
first
1:06:59
was
1:06:59
really
1:06:59
important.
1:07:00
And
1:07:01
I
1:07:01
do
1:07:01
think
1:07:01
that
1:07:02
when
1:07:02
we're
1:07:02
talking
1:07:02
about,
1:07:03
you
1:07:03
know,
1:07:03
the
1:07:03
universe's
1:07:04
business,
1:07:05
I
1:07:05
was
1:07:06
making
1:07:06
content
1:07:07
for
1:07:07
two
1:07:07
years
1:07:08
before
1:07:08
I
1:07:09
really
1:07:09
got
1:07:09
an
1:07:09
audience.
1:07:10
And
1:07:10
I
1:07:10
think
1:07:10
that
1:07:11
that
1:07:11
was
1:07:11
when
1:07:11
I
1:07:11
was
1:07:12
capacity
1:07:12
building.
1:07:13
I
1:07:13
was
1:07:13
sorting
1:07:14
things
1:07:14
out
1:07:14
inside
1:07:15
myself
1:07:16
so
1:07:16
that
1:07:16
I
1:07:16
could
1:07:17
hold
1:07:18
that
1:07:18
bigger
1:07:19
container
1:07:20
because
1:07:21
that
1:07:21
was
1:07:21
necessary.
1:07:22
If
1:07:22
I
1:07:22
had
1:07:22
gotten
1:07:23
a
1:07:23
bunch
1:07:23
of
1:07:23
followers
1:07:24
before
1:07:26
I
1:07:26
really
1:07:27
had
1:07:27
these
1:07:27
internal
1:07:28
systems,
1:07:28
I
1:07:28
think
1:07:29
that
1:07:29
would
1:07:29
have
1:07:30
led
1:07:30
to
1:07:30
a
1:07:30
lot
1:07:30
more
1:07:31
distress.
1:07:31
So
1:07:32
I
1:07:32
kind
1:07:32
of
1:07:32
had
1:07:32
the
1:07:32
foundation
1:07:33
first
1:07:35
before
1:07:35
the
1:07:36
result
1:07:36
came,
1:07:38
is
1:07:39
definitely
1:07:39
one
1:07:40
thing
1:07:40
that
1:07:40
was
1:07:40
true.
1:07:43
And
1:07:43
then
1:07:44
I
1:07:45
kind
1:07:45
of
1:07:45
have
1:07:45
the
1:07:46
not
1:07:46
luxury,
1:07:47
I
1:07:47
guess,
1:07:47
of
1:07:47
privilege.
1:07:48
It
1:07:48
is
1:07:48
an
1:07:48
incredible
1:07:49
privilege
1:07:49
to
1:07:49
practice
1:07:50
medicine
1:07:50
still.
1:07:50
But
1:07:51
a
1:07:51
lot
1:07:51
of
1:07:52
my
1:07:52
day
1:07:52
is
1:07:52
spent
1:07:52
around
1:07:53
people
1:07:53
who
1:07:53
could
1:07:54
not
1:07:54
care
1:07:55
less
1:07:55
about
1:07:56
any
1:07:56
of
1:07:56
that.
1:07:58
Right.
1:07:59
And
1:07:59
so
1:07:59
it
1:07:59
just
1:08:00
keeps
1:08:00
it
1:08:00
real,
1:08:01
you
1:08:01
know,
1:08:01
that
1:08:04
they
1:08:04
don't
1:08:05
know
1:08:05
that
1:08:05
I.
1:08:06
That
1:08:06
I
1:08:06
have
1:08:07
a
1:08:07
coaching
1:08:07
practice.
1:08:08
They
1:08:08
don't
1:08:08
know
1:08:08
that
1:08:09
I
1:08:09
talk
1:08:09
about
1:08:10
things
1:08:10
on
1:08:10
social
1:08:10
media.
1:08:11
They
1:08:11
don't
1:08:11
care
1:08:11
how
1:08:12
many
1:08:12
followers.
1:08:12
They
1:08:12
don't
1:08:12
even
1:08:13
know
1:08:13
that.
1:08:13
I
1:08:13
mean,
1:08:14
nothing.
1:08:14
They're
1:08:14
just
1:08:14
like,
1:08:16
you
1:08:16
and
1:08:16
me.
1:08:17
You're
1:08:17
my
1:08:17
doctor
1:08:18
and
1:08:18
I
1:08:19
am
1:08:19
sick
1:08:19
and
1:08:20
that's
1:08:20
all
1:08:20
that
1:08:21
matters.
1:08:21
And
1:08:21
so
1:08:22
that's
1:08:22
really,
1:08:22
really
1:08:23
grounding.
1:08:23
And
1:08:24
I
1:08:24
think
1:08:24
sometimes
1:08:25
small
1:08:25
children
1:08:25
also
1:08:26
have
1:08:26
that
1:08:26
effect.
1:08:26
Right?
1:08:27
Like
1:08:27
they
1:08:27
really
1:08:27
don't
1:08:28
care
1:08:28
anything.
1:08:30
Paired
1:08:30
with
1:08:31
that,
1:08:31
though,
1:08:31
my
1:08:32
family
1:08:32
was
1:08:32
super
1:08:33
supportive.
1:08:33
My
1:08:33
husband
1:08:34
and
1:08:34
I
1:08:34
have
1:08:34
teenage
1:08:35
kids.
1:08:36
They
1:08:36
were
1:08:36
like,
1:08:37
this
1:08:37
is
1:08:37
great
1:08:37
if
1:08:38
this
1:08:38
is
1:08:38
what
1:08:38
you
1:08:38
want
1:08:38
to
1:08:38
do.
1:08:39
This
1:08:39
is
1:08:39
amazing.
1:08:40
You
1:08:40
know,
1:08:40
you're
1:08:42
putting
1:08:42
in
1:08:42
the
1:08:42
effort
1:08:43
and
1:08:43
it's
1:08:43
paying
1:08:44
off
1:08:44
and
1:08:45
you're
1:08:45
having
1:08:45
success
1:08:46
and
1:08:46
we're
1:08:46
really
1:08:47
proud
1:08:47
of
1:08:47
you.
1:08:47
And,
1:08:48
and
1:08:48
so
1:08:48
that
1:08:49
was
1:08:49
help.
1:08:49
Like,
1:08:49
having
1:08:50
people
1:08:50
who
1:08:50
can
1:08:50
celebrate
1:08:51
your
1:08:51
success
1:08:51
is
1:08:51
also
1:08:52
incredibly
1:08:52
important.
1:08:53
Having
1:08:53
people
1:08:54
who
1:08:54
poo
1:08:54
poo
1:08:55
your
1:08:55
success
1:08:55
or
1:08:56
tell
1:08:56
you
1:08:56
you're
1:08:56
doing
1:08:56
something
1:08:56
silly
1:08:57
or
1:08:57
that'll
1:08:58
never
1:08:58
work
1:08:58
or
1:08:59
whatever
1:09:00
is
1:09:00
equally
1:09:01
as
1:09:01
bad.
1:09:02
Right?
1:09:04
So
1:09:04
I,
1:09:05
I,
1:09:06
I,
1:09:06
I
1:09:06
want
1:09:07
to
1:09:07
say
1:09:07
I
1:09:07
was
1:09:07
intentional
1:09:08
about
1:09:08
kind
1:09:08
of
1:09:08
cultivating
1:09:09
both
1:09:09
of
1:09:09
those
1:09:09
things.
1:09:09
I
1:09:10
don't
1:09:10
think
1:09:10
there's
1:09:10
any
1:09:11
accidents
1:09:11
or
1:09:13
coincidences,
1:09:15
but
1:09:15
those
1:09:15
things
1:09:15
are
1:09:15
incredibly
1:09:16
important
1:09:17
for
1:09:17
me.
1:09:18
Continuing
1:09:19
to
1:09:19
be
1:09:19
able
1:09:19
to
1:09:19
show
1:09:20
up
1:09:20
and
1:09:20
then,
1:09:20
yes,
1:09:21
connect.
1:09:21
You
1:09:21
said
1:09:21
it
1:09:22
like
1:09:22
it's
1:09:22
important.
1:09:23
Connection
1:09:23
to
1:09:23
the
1:09:24
why
1:09:24
am
1:09:24
I
1:09:24
here?
1:09:26
Not
1:09:26
only
1:09:27
keeps
1:09:27
me
1:09:27
showing
1:09:27
up
1:09:28
and
1:09:28
keeps
1:09:28
me
1:09:28
out
1:09:28
of
1:09:28
the
1:09:28
noise,
1:09:29
but
1:09:29
also
1:09:30
makes
1:09:30
sure
1:09:30
that
1:09:30
I'm
1:09:31
still
1:09:31
on
1:09:31
message.
1:09:32
Right.
1:09:32
Like,
1:09:33
I
1:09:33
think
1:09:33
it's
1:09:33
really
1:09:34
easy
1:09:35
once
1:09:35
you
1:09:36
start
1:09:36
to
1:09:37
have
1:09:37
success
1:09:37
with
1:09:38
something
1:09:38
to
1:09:38
maybe
1:09:39
get
1:09:39
a
1:09:39
little
1:09:40
misguided
1:09:41
and
1:09:41
start
1:09:41
to
1:09:41
chase,
1:09:42
like,
1:09:43
chase
1:09:43
the
1:09:44
success.
1:09:45
We
1:09:45
all
1:09:45
have
1:09:46
had
1:09:46
some
1:09:46
version
1:09:46
of
1:09:47
that
1:09:47
in
1:09:47
our
1:09:47
lives
1:09:48
where,
1:09:48
oh,
1:09:48
they
1:09:48
like
1:09:48
it
1:09:49
when
1:09:49
I
1:09:49
do
1:09:49
this.
1:09:49
So
1:09:49
I'll
1:09:49
keep
1:09:50
doing
1:09:50
more
1:09:50
of
1:09:50
that.
1:09:51
And
1:09:52
that's
1:09:52
fine
1:09:52
as
1:09:53
long
1:09:53
as
1:09:53
that
1:09:53
thing
1:09:54
is
1:09:54
still
1:09:54
aligned
1:09:55
with
1:09:55
your
1:09:55
purpose
1:09:56
and
1:09:56
your
1:09:57
integrity.
1:09:58
Where
1:09:58
we
1:09:59
start
1:09:59
to
1:09:59
feel
1:10:00
like
1:10:00
we
1:10:00
had
1:10:01
get
1:10:01
in
1:10:01
midlife
1:10:01
often,
1:10:02
like
1:10:02
that's
1:10:02
where
1:10:03
the
1:10:03
bill
1:10:03
is
1:10:03
coming
1:10:03
due.
1:10:03
I've
1:10:04
been
1:10:04
chasing
1:10:04
success
1:10:05
and
1:10:05
doing
1:10:05
things
1:10:06
that
1:10:06
other
1:10:06
people
1:10:06
liked
1:10:07
it
1:10:07
when
1:10:07
I
1:10:07
did
1:10:07
it,
1:10:08
but
1:10:08
I
1:10:08
didn't
1:10:09
actually
1:10:09
want
1:10:09
to
1:10:09
be
1:10:09
doing
1:10:09
that
1:10:09
all
1:10:10
that
1:10:10
time.
1:10:11
And
1:10:13
it
1:10:13
brought
1:10:13
me
1:10:14
things
1:10:14
like
1:10:15
money
1:10:15
or
1:10:15
promotions
1:10:16
or
1:10:17
nice
1:10:17
houses
1:10:17
or
1:10:18
whatever
1:10:18
it
1:10:18
brought
1:10:18
me
1:10:19
or
1:10:19
maybe
1:10:20
things
1:10:20
that
1:10:20
I
1:10:20
actually
1:10:21
value.
1:10:21
But
1:10:22
kind
1:10:22
of
1:10:22
the
1:10:23
what
1:10:23
it
1:10:23
took
1:10:24
to
1:10:24
get
1:10:24
there
1:10:25
is
1:10:25
not
1:10:25
the
1:10:25
juice,
1:10:26
isn't
1:10:26
worth
1:10:26
the
1:10:26
squeeze
1:10:27
anymore,
1:10:27
as
1:10:27
they
1:10:27
say.
1:10:30
So
1:10:30
because
1:10:30
I
1:10:31
sort
1:10:31
of
1:10:31
came
1:10:31
into
1:10:31
this
1:10:32
project
1:10:32
with
1:10:34
trying
1:10:34
to
1:10:34
grow
1:10:35
an
1:10:35
audience
1:10:35
around
1:10:38
cognitive
1:10:39
biases
1:10:40
and
1:10:40
how
1:10:40
do
1:10:40
you
1:10:40
change
1:10:40
your
1:10:41
mind
1:10:41
of
1:10:41
neuroplasticity
1:10:42
and
1:10:42
rewiring?
1:10:43
Like,
1:10:43
this
1:10:43
is
1:10:43
what
1:10:43
I
1:10:43
want
1:10:44
to
1:10:44
talk
1:10:44
about.
1:10:44
Right.
1:10:44
I'm
1:10:45
building
1:10:45
this
1:10:45
audience
1:10:45
around
1:10:46
that
1:10:48
with
1:10:48
all
1:10:49
those
1:10:49
foundations
1:10:50
in
1:10:50
place.
1:10:50
I
1:10:51
think
1:10:51
that
1:10:51
has
1:10:51
kind
1:10:52
of
1:10:52
been
1:10:52
the
1:10:53
alchemy
1:10:53
that
1:10:53
allowed
1:10:54
that
1:10:54
to
1:10:54
be
1:10:54
successful
1:10:56
in
1:10:57
a
1:10:57
way
1:10:57
that
1:10:57
still
1:10:58
feels
1:10:59
honest.
1:11:00
Oh
1:11:01
yeah,
1:11:01
that's
1:11:02
the
1:11:02
inauthentic.
1:11:03
I
1:11:03
mean,
1:11:03
that
1:11:03
is
1:11:04
truly,
1:11:05
like,
1:11:05
you're,
1:11:06
like,
1:11:06
you're
1:11:06
saying
1:11:06
your
1:11:06
purpose,
1:11:07
your
1:11:07
drive,
1:11:07
like
1:11:08
all
1:11:08
the
1:11:08
things.
1:11:10
And
1:11:10
I
1:11:10
think
1:11:10
there
1:11:10
is
1:11:11
something
1:11:11
interesting
1:11:12
about
1:11:13
when
1:11:14
you're
1:11:14
talking
1:11:14
about
1:11:14
being
1:11:15
a
1:11:15
death
1:11:15
and
1:11:15
dying
1:11:15
doctor
1:11:16
because
1:11:16
it
1:11:16
sort
1:11:17
of
1:11:17
leads
1:11:18
us
1:11:18
back
1:11:18
to
1:11:18
this
1:11:18
idea
1:11:19
of
1:11:19
like,
1:11:19
regret.
1:11:21
So
1:11:21
I
1:11:21
want
1:11:21
to
1:11:21
know
1:11:22
from
1:11:22
your
1:11:22
perspective,
1:11:23
because
1:11:23
you
1:11:23
are
1:11:23
seeing
1:11:24
people
1:11:25
at
1:11:25
the
1:11:25
end
1:11:25
of
1:11:25
their
1:11:25
lives,
1:11:26
what
1:11:26
do
1:11:26
you
1:11:27
think
1:11:27
about
1:11:27
regret?
1:11:28
Is
1:11:28
regret
1:11:29
useful?
1:11:30
Is
1:11:30
it
1:11:30
helpful?
1:11:32
You
1:11:32
know,
1:11:32
what
1:11:32
are
1:11:33
the
1:11:33
regrets
1:11:33
that
1:11:33
you
1:11:34
hear
1:11:34
the
1:11:34
most?
1:11:35
Like,
1:11:35
what
1:11:36
do
1:11:36
you
1:11:36
think
1:11:36
about
1:11:36
regret?
1:11:37
Yeah,
1:11:38
it's
1:11:38
pretty
1:11:38
loaded
1:11:39
concept
1:11:40
or
1:11:40
layered.
1:11:41
I
1:11:41
think
1:11:41
I
1:11:41
would
1:11:42
say
1:11:44
our
1:11:44
brains
1:11:45
are
1:11:46
kind
1:11:46
of
1:11:46
programmed
1:11:48
to
1:11:48
not
1:11:48
have
1:11:49
regret.
1:11:49
Right.
1:11:50
Whenever
1:11:50
we
1:11:50
have
1:11:51
dissonance
1:11:51
where
1:11:51
one
1:11:51
thing
1:11:52
disagrees
1:11:52
with
1:11:53
Each
1:11:53
other,
1:11:53
we're
1:11:53
going
1:11:53
to
1:11:53
do
1:11:54
something
1:11:54
to
1:11:54
resolve
1:11:55
that.
1:11:56
So
1:11:56
a
1:11:56
lot
1:11:56
of
1:11:57
times
1:11:57
the
1:11:58
most
1:11:58
common
1:11:58
pattern
1:11:59
is,
1:11:59
well,
1:11:59
that
1:11:59
was
1:11:59
the
1:12:00
decision
1:12:00
I
1:12:00
made,
1:12:00
so
1:12:01
it
1:12:01
must
1:12:01
have
1:12:01
been
1:12:01
the
1:12:02
right
1:12:02
decision.
1:12:03
So
1:12:03
we
1:12:03
actually
1:12:04
kind
1:12:04
of
1:12:04
have
1:12:04
this
1:12:05
pre
1:12:06
programmed
1:12:06
story
1:12:07
to
1:12:08
tell
1:12:09
ourselves
1:12:09
that
1:12:10
we
1:12:10
don't
1:12:11
need
1:12:11
to
1:12:11
regret
1:12:11
our
1:12:11
decisions
1:12:12
because
1:12:12
they
1:12:12
were
1:12:12
the
1:12:13
right
1:12:13
decisions
1:12:13
because
1:12:13
we're
1:12:14
smart
1:12:14
people
1:12:14
and
1:12:15
we
1:12:15
wouldn't
1:12:15
have
1:12:15
made
1:12:15
a
1:12:15
dumb
1:12:15
decision.
1:12:16
So
1:12:16
like
1:12:16
no
1:12:17
need
1:12:17
for
1:12:17
regret.
1:12:18
So
1:12:18
that's
1:12:18
why
1:12:19
often
1:12:20
like
1:12:20
no
1:12:21
regret
1:12:21
living
1:12:22
sometimes
1:12:22
is
1:12:23
gets
1:12:24
a
1:12:24
little
1:12:24
bit
1:12:24
misguided
1:12:25
because
1:12:25
it
1:12:25
could
1:12:25
mean
1:12:26
you're
1:12:26
just
1:12:26
listening
1:12:26
to
1:12:27
the
1:12:27
lies
1:12:27
your
1:12:28
mind
1:12:28
is
1:12:28
telling
1:12:29
you.
1:12:30
When
1:12:30
we
1:12:31
talk
1:12:31
about
1:12:31
end
1:12:31
of
1:12:32
life,
1:12:32
you
1:12:32
know,
1:12:32
what
1:12:32
do
1:12:33
I
1:12:33
see?
1:12:33
The
1:12:33
themes
1:12:33
that
1:12:33
emerge
1:12:34
when
1:12:34
people
1:12:35
say,
1:12:35
wow,
1:12:36
I
1:12:36
really
1:12:37
missed
1:12:37
the
1:12:37
mark
1:12:37
here.
1:12:38
I
1:12:38
really
1:12:38
wish
1:12:39
something
1:12:39
had
1:12:39
been
1:12:39
different.
1:12:42
It
1:12:43
often
1:12:43
is
1:12:44
in
1:12:44
thinking
1:12:44
that
1:12:45
they
1:12:45
had
1:12:45
more
1:12:45
time
1:12:46
putting
1:12:46
something
1:12:47
off,
1:12:47
you
1:12:48
know,
1:12:48
thinking
1:12:48
about
1:12:50
a
1:12:50
lot
1:12:50
of
1:12:50
people
1:12:51
who
1:12:52
do
1:12:52
not
1:12:53
take
1:12:53
care
1:12:53
of
1:12:53
their
1:12:53
health,
1:12:54
do
1:12:54
not
1:12:55
take
1:12:55
care
1:12:55
of
1:12:55
themselves,
1:12:56
really
1:12:56
do
1:12:56
burn
1:12:56
the
1:12:56
candle
1:12:57
at
1:12:57
both
1:12:57
ends,
1:12:58
thinking,
1:12:58
well,
1:12:59
I'm
1:12:59
going
1:12:59
to
1:12:59
put
1:12:59
in
1:12:59
my
1:13:00
30
1:13:00
or
1:13:00
40
1:13:00
years
1:13:01
and
1:13:01
then
1:13:01
I'm
1:13:01
going
1:13:01
to
1:13:02
have
1:13:02
time
1:13:02
in
1:13:02
retirement
1:13:03
to
1:13:04
do
1:13:04
all
1:13:04
the
1:13:04
things
1:13:05
that
1:13:05
I
1:13:05
want
1:13:05
to
1:13:06
do.
1:13:06
That
1:13:07
tends
1:13:07
to
1:13:07
show
1:13:07
up
1:13:08
a
1:13:08
lot,
1:13:08
especially
1:13:09
when
1:13:09
those
1:13:09
people
1:13:10
are
1:13:11
coming
1:13:12
into
1:13:12
hospice
1:13:13
or
1:13:13
into
1:13:13
end
1:13:13
of
1:13:13
life
1:13:14
care
1:13:14
when
1:13:14
they're
1:13:14
in
1:13:14
the
1:13:15
60s
1:13:15
or
1:13:15
early
1:13:15
70s
1:13:17
because
1:13:18
you
1:13:18
know,
1:13:18
like
1:13:19
they
1:13:20
ran
1:13:20
their
1:13:20
body
1:13:20
into
1:13:21
the
1:13:21
ground.
1:13:22
So
1:13:22
that
1:13:23
I
1:13:23
see
1:13:23
a
1:13:23
lot
1:13:23
of
1:13:23
regret
1:13:24
kind
1:13:24
of
1:13:24
around
1:13:25
that
1:13:25
theme
1:13:26
of
1:13:27
like,
1:13:27
I
1:13:27
thought
1:13:27
I
1:13:27
had
1:13:28
more
1:13:28
time
1:13:28
or
1:13:29
kind
1:13:29
of,
1:13:29
I
1:13:29
thought
1:13:29
this
1:13:30
life
1:13:30
was
1:13:30
going
1:13:30
to
1:13:30
be
1:13:31
different.
1:13:32
The
1:13:32
other
1:13:33
regret
1:13:34
that
1:13:34
I
1:13:34
see
1:13:34
a
1:13:35
lot,
1:13:35
and
1:13:36
it's
1:13:36
not
1:13:36
really
1:13:36
a
1:13:36
regret,
1:13:37
but
1:13:37
this
1:13:37
is
1:13:37
a
1:13:37
theme
1:13:37
that
1:13:38
I
1:13:38
see
1:13:38
show
1:13:38
up.
1:13:39
One
1:13:39
thing
1:13:39
that
1:13:40
makes
1:13:40
it
1:13:40
actually
1:13:40
very
1:13:40
hard
1:13:41
for
1:13:41
people
1:13:41
to
1:13:42
die
1:13:42
peacefully
1:13:43
is
1:13:43
the
1:13:43
holding
1:13:44
on
1:13:45
and
1:13:46
not
1:13:46
being
1:13:46
able
1:13:47
to
1:13:47
release
1:13:47
and
1:13:48
not
1:13:48
being
1:13:48
able
1:13:48
to
1:13:48
let
1:13:49
go.
1:13:49
Now
1:13:49
that
1:13:49
is
1:13:50
the
1:13:50
ultimate
1:13:50
letting
1:13:51
go,
1:13:51
right?
1:13:51
You
1:13:51
are
1:13:51
letting
1:13:52
go
1:13:52
of
1:13:52
everything
1:13:53
you
1:13:53
have
1:13:53
ever
1:13:53
known,
1:13:54
like
1:13:54
of
1:13:54
the
1:13:54
mortal
1:13:55
realm
1:13:56
into
1:13:57
the
1:13:57
unknown
1:13:58
that
1:13:58
no
1:13:58
one
1:13:58
has
1:13:58
ever
1:13:59
gone
1:13:59
to
1:13:59
and
1:13:59
come
1:14:00
back
1:14:00
to
1:14:00
tell
1:14:00
us
1:14:00
about
1:14:01
it.
1:14:01
Of
1:14:02
course
1:14:02
it's
1:14:02
going
1:14:02
to
1:14:02
be
1:14:03
hard,
1:14:03
but
1:14:04
wouldn't
1:14:04
it
1:14:04
be
1:14:04
nice
1:14:05
if
1:14:05
we
1:14:05
had
1:14:05
practiced
1:14:06
just
1:14:06
a
1:14:06
few
1:14:06
times
1:14:07
before
1:14:07
then?
1:14:08
And
1:14:08
so
1:14:08
the
1:14:09
I
1:14:09
can,
1:14:09
you
1:14:09
know,
1:14:10
that's
1:14:10
sort
1:14:10
of
1:14:10
another
1:14:11
pattern
1:14:11
that
1:14:11
we
1:14:11
see
1:14:11
that
1:14:12
people
1:14:12
who
1:14:12
have
1:14:12
a
1:14:12
very
1:14:13
hard
1:14:13
time
1:14:14
releasing
1:14:14
from
1:14:15
their
1:14:15
body,
1:14:16
that
1:14:16
have
1:14:16
a
1:14:16
lot
1:14:16
of
1:14:16
symptoms
1:14:17
at
1:14:17
the
1:14:17
end
1:14:17
of
1:14:17
life,
1:14:18
that
1:14:18
have
1:14:18
a
1:14:18
lot
1:14:18
of,
1:14:19
you
1:14:19
know,
1:14:19
tumult,
1:14:21
that
1:14:21
they
1:14:21
often
1:14:22
have
1:14:22
a
1:14:22
life
1:14:23
that
1:14:23
was
1:14:24
defined
1:14:25
by
1:14:26
that
1:14:26
holding,
1:14:27
that
1:14:27
holding
1:14:27
on
1:14:27
and
1:14:28
that
1:14:28
refusal
1:14:29
to
1:14:29
let
1:14:30
go
1:14:30
of
1:14:30
anything,
1:14:31
right?
1:14:31
Like
1:14:31
I
1:14:31
Know
1:14:32
I
1:14:32
must
1:14:32
control,
1:14:32
I
1:14:33
must
1:14:33
hold,
1:14:33
I
1:14:33
must
1:14:33
be
1:14:33
in
1:14:34
the
1:14:34
boss
1:14:35
of
1:14:35
everything.
1:14:36
So
1:14:36
that's
1:14:37
something
1:14:37
that
1:14:37
I
1:14:37
see
1:14:37
a
1:14:37
lot
1:14:38
and
1:14:38
a
1:14:38
lot
1:14:38
that
1:14:39
informs
1:14:39
my
1:14:40
coaching
1:14:40
work
1:14:40
because
1:14:40
I'm
1:14:40
like,
1:14:41
I
1:14:41
want
1:14:41
to
1:14:41
go
1:14:41
back
1:14:41
in
1:14:41
time
1:14:42
and
1:14:43
put
1:14:43
you
1:14:43
on
1:14:43
a
1:14:43
different
1:14:44
path
1:14:44
so
1:14:44
that
1:14:44
you're
1:14:45
not
1:14:45
that.
1:14:48
And
1:14:48
then
1:14:48
the
1:14:48
other
1:14:48
theme
1:14:49
is
1:14:49
that
1:14:49
you
1:14:50
need
1:14:50
to
1:14:50
let
1:14:50
people
1:14:50
help
1:14:51
you
1:14:51
and
1:14:51
that
1:14:52
people
1:14:52
have
1:14:52
a
1:14:52
lot
1:14:52
of
1:14:53
resistance
1:14:54
around
1:14:54
receiving
1:14:55
help
1:14:56
and
1:14:56
receiving
1:14:57
care.
1:14:58
And
1:14:59
that
1:14:59
at
1:14:59
some
1:14:59
point
1:15:00
in
1:15:00
our
1:15:00
lives,
1:15:01
either
1:15:01
temporary
1:15:02
or
1:15:02
permanent,
1:15:03
you
1:15:03
are
1:15:03
going
1:15:03
to
1:15:04
have
1:15:04
a
1:15:04
situation
1:15:04
in
1:15:05
which
1:15:05
you
1:15:05
are
1:15:05
need
1:15:05
to
1:15:05
be
1:15:05
the
1:15:06
receiver
1:15:06
of
1:15:06
the
1:15:06
care,
1:15:07
not
1:15:07
the
1:15:07
giver
1:15:07
of
1:15:07
the
1:15:08
care.
1:15:09
And
1:15:09
I
1:15:09
believe
1:15:10
that
1:15:10
it
1:15:10
is
1:15:10
of
1:15:11
service
1:15:11
to
1:15:12
practice
1:15:12
that
1:15:13
as
1:15:13
well.
1:15:14
So
1:15:14
that,
1:15:14
I
1:15:15
mean
1:15:15
really,
1:15:15
like
1:15:15
why
1:15:16
would
1:15:16
we
1:15:16
want
1:15:16
to
1:15:16
practice
1:15:16
some
1:15:17
of
1:15:17
the
1:15:17
hardest
1:15:17
things
1:15:17
at
1:15:18
the
1:15:18
hardest
1:15:18
time?
1:15:19
Practice
1:15:20
the
1:15:20
hard
1:15:20
things
1:15:21
when
1:15:21
they're
1:15:21
easy
1:15:22
and
1:15:23
then
1:15:23
when
1:15:23
you're
1:15:23
at
1:15:24
the
1:15:24
hard
1:15:24
time,
1:15:24
you'll
1:15:25
already
1:15:25
know
1:15:25
how
1:15:25
to
1:15:25
do
1:15:26
them.
1:15:27
That's
1:15:27
what
1:15:27
we
1:15:27
do
1:15:27
in
1:15:28
doctoring,
1:15:29
right?
1:15:29
We
1:15:29
don't
1:15:30
practice
1:15:30
resuscitating.
1:15:31
We
1:15:31
practice
1:15:32
resuscitating
1:15:32
people.
1:15:33
We
1:15:33
don't
1:15:33
wait
1:15:33
until
1:15:33
someone
1:15:34
is
1:15:34
actually
1:15:34
needing
1:15:35
resuscitation.
1:15:36
Be
1:15:36
the
1:15:36
first
1:15:37
time
1:15:37
we
1:15:37
ever
1:15:37
did
1:15:37
it.
1:15:38
All
1:15:38
right,
1:15:39
right,
1:15:39
right,
1:15:40
exactly.
1:15:40
You're
1:15:41
like,
1:15:41
you
1:15:41
want
1:15:41
to
1:15:41
be
1:15:42
sure
1:15:42
you
1:15:42
know
1:15:42
how
1:15:42
to
1:15:43
do
1:15:43
that.
1:15:43
So
1:15:43
you're
1:15:43
going
1:15:43
to
1:15:44
practice.
1:15:46
Yes.
1:15:47
No.
1:15:47
I
1:15:48
love
1:15:48
that.
1:15:48
It's
1:15:48
like,
1:15:49
why
1:15:49
not
1:15:49
practice
1:15:50
it
1:15:50
when
1:15:50
it's
1:15:50
easy?
1:15:51
That
1:15:51
makes
1:15:51
so
1:15:52
much
1:15:52
more
1:15:52
sense
1:15:53
or
1:15:53
easier.
1:15:55
Because
1:15:55
it's
1:15:55
not
1:15:56
easy
1:15:56
now.
1:15:56
Like
1:15:57
we,
1:15:57
we
1:15:57
have
1:15:57
already
1:15:58
through
1:15:58
this
1:15:58
whole
1:15:59
hour,
1:15:59
right.
1:16:00
Detailed
1:16:00
all
1:16:00
the
1:16:00
reasons
1:16:01
why
1:16:01
people,
1:16:02
women
1:16:02
in
1:16:02
midlife
1:16:03
particularly,
1:16:04
may
1:16:04
have
1:16:04
a
1:16:04
hard
1:16:04
time
1:16:04
receiving
1:16:05
help
1:16:05
or
1:16:06
letting
1:16:06
go
1:16:06
of
1:16:07
things.
1:16:07
But
1:16:08
that
1:16:08
right
1:16:08
now
1:16:09
it
1:16:09
is
1:16:09
easier
1:16:10
than
1:16:10
it's
1:16:10
going
1:16:11
to
1:16:11
be
1:16:12
when
1:16:12
your
1:16:12
body
1:16:12
is
1:16:13
also
1:16:13
betraying
1:16:13
you
1:16:14
and
1:16:15
all
1:16:15
the
1:16:15
people
1:16:16
around
1:16:16
you
1:16:16
are
1:16:16
grieving
1:16:16
your
1:16:17
imminent
1:16:17
death.
1:16:19
How
1:16:19
about
1:16:19
we
1:16:19
practice
1:16:20
right
1:16:20
now
1:16:20
without
1:16:21
those
1:16:21
added
1:16:22
layers
1:16:22
of
1:16:23
challenge
1:16:24
on
1:16:24
top
1:16:24
of
1:16:25
it?
1:16:25
Now
1:16:26
is
1:16:26
the
1:16:26
time.
1:16:27
100%.
1:16:28
100%.
1:16:29
So
1:16:30
what
1:16:30
advice
1:16:31
would
1:16:31
you
1:16:31
give
1:16:32
your
1:16:32
25
1:16:33
year
1:16:33
old
1:16:33
self?
1:16:35
Oh
1:16:35
my
1:16:35
goodness.
1:16:36
Okay,
1:16:36
let's
1:16:36
see.
1:16:37
25,
1:16:37
I
1:16:37
was
1:16:38
in
1:16:38
med
1:16:38
school
1:16:38
thinking
1:16:39
that
1:16:40
80
1:16:41
plus
1:16:42
weeks
1:16:42
and
1:16:42
30
1:16:43
hour
1:16:43
shifts
1:16:44
were
1:16:44
normal.
1:16:46
And
1:16:47
I
1:16:48
think
1:16:48
that
1:16:48
the
1:16:48
advice
1:16:49
that
1:16:49
I
1:16:49
would
1:16:49
give
1:16:50
is,
1:16:50
you
1:16:50
know,
1:16:50
start
1:16:51
to
1:16:51
think
1:16:52
sustainable,
1:16:53
start
1:16:54
to
1:16:54
think
1:16:55
notice
1:16:56
at
1:16:56
least
1:16:57
you
1:16:57
don't
1:16:57
have
1:16:57
power
1:16:58
right
1:16:58
now.
1:16:58
25
1:16:59
year
1:16:59
old
1:16:59
Emma,
1:16:59
like
1:16:59
you're
1:17:00
a
1:17:00
med
1:17:00
student,
1:17:00
you
1:17:00
can't
1:17:01
actually
1:17:01
change
1:17:01
your
1:17:01
schedule.
1:17:02
But
1:17:02
start
1:17:03
to
1:17:03
notice
1:17:05
where
1:17:05
this
1:17:05
might
1:17:05
not
1:17:06
be
1:17:06
a
1:17:06
good
1:17:06
idea,
1:17:07
right.
1:17:07
Instead
1:17:07
of
1:17:07
just
1:17:08
accepting
1:17:08
that
1:17:08
it
1:17:08
is
1:17:09
a
1:17:09
good
1:17:09
idea,
1:17:09
that
1:17:10
it
1:17:10
is
1:17:10
the
1:17:10
way
1:17:11
that
1:17:11
you
1:17:11
are
1:17:12
going
1:17:12
to
1:17:12
Pattern
1:17:12
your
1:17:12
life
1:17:13
for
1:17:13
the
1:17:13
next
1:17:13
25
1:17:14
years,
1:17:15
start
1:17:16
to
1:17:16
notice
1:17:17
so
1:17:17
that
1:17:19
eventually
1:17:20
there
1:17:20
might
1:17:20
become
1:17:20
a
1:17:21
time
1:17:21
where
1:17:21
you
1:17:21
could
1:17:21
have
1:17:21
some
1:17:21
power
1:17:22
to
1:17:22
change
1:17:22
it.
1:17:22
No,
1:17:23
like
1:17:23
you
1:17:23
don't
1:17:23
have
1:17:23
it
1:17:23
right
1:17:24
now.
1:17:26
I
1:17:26
think
1:17:27
that's
1:17:27
the
1:17:27
best
1:17:27
advice
1:17:27
that
1:17:28
could
1:17:28
have
1:17:28
given
1:17:28
myself
1:17:29
at
1:17:29
25
1:17:30
that
1:17:30
might
1:17:31
have
1:17:31
changed
1:17:31
the
1:17:31
course
1:17:32
of
1:17:32
things
1:17:34
and
1:17:34
gotten
1:17:35
me
1:17:35
to
1:17:36
that
1:17:36
sustainable
1:17:37
mindset
1:17:37
a
1:17:38
little
1:17:38
bit
1:17:39
earlier.
1:17:40
Earlier,
1:17:40
yeah.
1:17:42
What
1:17:42
is
1:17:42
the
1:17:42
biggest
1:17:43
lesson
1:17:43
that
1:17:44
you've
1:17:44
learned
1:17:44
in
1:17:44
midlife?
1:17:46
No
1:17:47
day
1:17:47
is
1:17:47
promised
1:17:47
tomorrow's
1:17:48
promise
1:17:48
to,
1:17:48
not
1:17:49
to
1:17:49
no
1:17:49
one.
1:17:51
That
1:17:51
is
1:17:51
definitely
1:17:52
the
1:17:52
biggest
1:17:52
lesson
1:17:52
I
1:17:53
have
1:17:53
learned
1:17:53
through
1:17:53
my
1:17:53
professional
1:17:54
work.
1:17:54
But
1:17:54
also,
1:17:56
you
1:17:56
know,
1:17:57
our
1:17:57
friends
1:17:57
are
1:17:57
getting
1:17:58
sick,
1:17:58
our
1:17:59
spouses
1:18:00
are
1:18:01
having
1:18:02
events.
1:18:03
You
1:18:03
know,
1:18:03
we.
1:18:04
This
1:18:04
is
1:18:04
not
1:18:05
the
1:18:05
idea
1:18:06
that
1:18:06
that
1:18:06
happens
1:18:06
to
1:18:06
old
1:18:07
people.
1:18:08
We
1:18:08
are
1:18:09
now
1:18:09
those
1:18:09
people.
1:18:11
Right,
1:18:11
exactly.
1:18:12
We
1:18:12
are
1:18:12
in
1:18:13
that
1:18:13
club.
1:18:14
We
1:18:14
are
1:18:14
in
1:18:14
that
1:18:14
club.
1:18:16
And
1:18:16
so
1:18:18
for
1:18:18
me,
1:18:18
you
1:18:18
know,
1:18:19
I
1:18:19
myself
1:18:19
have
1:18:19
had
1:18:19
a
1:18:20
cancer
1:18:20
diagnosis,
1:18:21
so
1:18:21
I
1:18:21
think
1:18:21
that
1:18:22
the
1:18:25
impermanence
1:18:26
of
1:18:27
life
1:18:27
has
1:18:27
become
1:18:28
very
1:18:29
apparent
1:18:29
to
1:18:30
me
1:18:31
in
1:18:31
the
1:18:31
past
1:18:31
few
1:18:31
years.
1:18:33
Oh,
1:18:33
I'm
1:18:33
sorry,
1:18:33
did
1:18:34
you
1:18:34
say
1:18:34
cancer
1:18:34
diagnosis?
1:18:36
Yeah,
1:18:37
I
1:18:37
did
1:18:37
have
1:18:37
breast
1:18:38
cancer.
1:18:39
Oh,
1:18:39
my
1:18:39
gosh.
1:18:40
Wow.
1:18:40
Wow.
1:18:42
I'm
1:18:42
all
1:18:42
good
1:18:42
now.
1:18:43
Okay,
1:18:43
good.
1:18:45
Five
1:18:45
plus
1:18:45
years
1:18:45
in
1:18:46
the
1:18:46
rear
1:18:46
view.
1:18:47
Okay.
1:18:49
But
1:18:49
yeah,
1:18:49
just
1:18:50
to
1:18:50
say,
1:18:50
you
1:18:50
know,
1:18:51
that
1:18:52
in
1:18:52
the
1:18:53
grand
1:18:53
scheme
1:18:54
of
1:18:54
things,
1:18:54
was
1:18:54
a
1:18:55
relatively
1:18:56
low
1:18:56
stakes
1:18:56
diagnosis.
1:18:57
There
1:18:57
are
1:18:57
certainly
1:18:58
things
1:18:58
that
1:18:58
some
1:18:58
of
1:18:59
my
1:18:59
peers,
1:19:00
people
1:19:00
my
1:19:00
age
1:19:00
are
1:19:01
getting
1:19:01
diagnosed
1:19:01
with
1:19:02
now
1:19:02
that
1:19:03
it
1:19:03
still
1:19:04
feels
1:19:04
like,
1:19:04
oh,
1:19:04
you're
1:19:05
too
1:19:05
young
1:19:05
to
1:19:05
have
1:19:05
that.
1:19:06
But
1:19:07
that
1:19:07
when
1:19:07
I
1:19:07
really
1:19:07
think
1:19:07
about
1:19:08
it,
1:19:08
I'm
1:19:08
like,
1:19:08
no,
1:19:09
this
1:19:09
is
1:19:09
the
1:19:09
age
1:19:10
when
1:19:10
people
1:19:10
start
1:19:10
to
1:19:11
get
1:19:11
these
1:19:11
things.
1:19:13
And
1:19:14
that,
1:19:14
that
1:19:14
is,
1:19:15
you
1:19:15
know,
1:19:15
our
1:19:16
future
1:19:16
is
1:19:16
not
1:19:17
promised
1:19:17
to
1:19:17
us.
1:19:18
We
1:19:18
have
1:19:18
right
1:19:19
now.
1:19:20
And.
1:19:20
Or
1:19:21
our
1:19:21
parents.
1:19:22
Right.
1:19:22
As
1:19:22
parents
1:19:22
are
1:19:23
getting
1:19:23
sick,
1:19:23
parents
1:19:24
are
1:19:25
dying.
1:19:26
That's
1:19:26
the
1:19:26
other
1:19:27
thing
1:19:27
that's
1:19:28
true.
1:19:28
And
1:19:29
then
1:19:29
paired
1:19:29
with
1:19:30
all
1:19:30
our
1:19:30
kids
1:19:31
are
1:19:31
aging
1:19:32
up
1:19:32
and
1:19:32
moving
1:19:33
out
1:19:33
of
1:19:33
the
1:19:33
house.
1:19:34
So
1:19:34
this
1:19:36
ephemeral
1:19:37
and
1:19:37
impermanent
1:19:38
nature
1:19:38
of
1:19:38
all
1:19:38
of
1:19:38
the
1:19:39
things,
1:19:39
our
1:19:39
own
1:19:40
health,
1:19:40
the
1:19:40
people
1:19:41
around
1:19:41
us,
1:19:43
the
1:19:43
stability
1:19:43
of
1:19:44
the
1:19:44
world.
1:19:44
Right.
1:19:44
Like,
1:19:45
we
1:19:46
just
1:19:46
got
1:19:46
to
1:19:46
live
1:19:46
for
1:19:46
the
1:19:46
moment.
1:19:47
Yes,
1:19:49
that's
1:19:49
a
1:19:49
great
1:19:49
reminder
1:19:50
to
1:19:50
live
1:19:50
in
1:19:50
the
1:19:50
moment
1:19:51
100%.
1:19:53
How
1:19:53
are
1:19:53
you
1:19:54
living
1:19:54
iconically
1:19:55
right
1:19:55
now?
1:19:56
Ooh,
1:19:57
that's
1:19:57
a
1:19:57
fun
1:19:57
question.
1:20:01
We
1:20:01
spent
1:20:02
last
1:20:02
week
1:20:03
visiting
1:20:04
family
1:20:04
and
1:20:04
my
1:20:04
7
1:20:05
year
1:20:05
old
1:20:05
niece
1:20:06
started
1:20:06
using
1:20:06
this
1:20:07
word,
1:20:07
iconic
1:20:08
in
1:20:09
everything
1:20:09
she
1:20:10
said.
1:20:10
It
1:20:10
was
1:20:10
really
1:20:10
funny.
1:20:11
We
1:20:11
were
1:20:11
playing
1:20:11
pickleball
1:20:12
and
1:20:12
she
1:20:12
was,
1:20:13
I
1:20:13
think
1:20:13
one
1:20:13
of
1:20:14
my
1:20:14
kids
1:20:14
said,
1:20:14
like,
1:20:14
show
1:20:15
us
1:20:15
your
1:20:15
iconic
1:20:16
serve.
1:20:16
And
1:20:17
she
1:20:17
was
1:20:17
like,
1:20:17
okay,
1:20:17
this
1:20:18
is
1:20:18
my
1:20:18
iconic
1:20:19
pickleball
1:20:19
serve.
1:20:21
So
1:20:21
I
1:20:21
just
1:20:21
really
1:20:22
love
1:20:22
that.
1:20:23
Like
1:20:24
the
1:20:25
seven
1:20:25
year
1:20:25
old
1:20:25
just
1:20:25
embraced
1:20:26
this.
1:20:26
Right.
1:20:26
Like,
1:20:27
I
1:20:27
am
1:20:27
iconic,
1:20:28
and
1:20:28
I'm
1:20:28
feeling
1:20:29
that
1:20:29
energy,
1:20:29
too.
1:20:31
I
1:20:31
think
1:20:31
that
1:20:32
I
1:20:32
am
1:20:32
living
1:20:32
iconic
1:20:33
by
1:20:34
being
1:20:34
willing
1:20:34
to
1:20:35
get
1:20:35
out
1:20:35
there
1:20:35
and
1:20:35
have
1:20:35
people
1:20:36
see
1:20:36
me
1:20:36
on
1:20:37
social
1:20:37
media
1:20:38
and
1:20:39
by
1:20:39
really
1:20:40
digging
1:20:41
my
1:20:41
inner
1:20:42
iconic
1:20:43
is
1:20:44
what
1:20:44
is
1:20:44
really
1:20:44
true.
1:20:45
What
1:20:45
are
1:20:46
the
1:20:46
messages
1:20:46
that
1:20:46
I
1:20:46
need
1:20:47
to
1:20:47
share
1:20:47
that
1:20:47
I
1:20:47
might
1:20:48
be
1:20:48
like,
1:20:48
a
1:20:48
little
1:20:48
bit
1:20:49
scared
1:20:49
to
1:20:49
say
1:20:50
out
1:20:50
loud?
1:20:50
I've
1:20:50
told
1:20:51
a
1:20:51
lot
1:20:51
of
1:20:51
stories
1:20:52
so
1:20:52
far,
1:20:53
but
1:20:54
the
1:20:55
little
1:20:56
fear
1:20:56
I
1:20:56
could
1:20:56
retreat
1:20:57
into
1:20:57
is,
1:20:57
well,
1:20:57
I've
1:20:57
already
1:20:58
told
1:20:58
all
1:20:58
my
1:20:58
hard
1:20:58
stories.
1:20:59
I'm
1:20:59
done.
1:21:00
The
1:21:00
place
1:21:01
where
1:21:01
I
1:21:01
think
1:21:01
I
1:21:01
can
1:21:02
really
1:21:02
be
1:21:02
iconic
1:21:03
is.
1:21:03
Yeah,
1:21:03
but
1:21:03
what
1:21:03
else?
1:21:04
Like,
1:21:04
what
1:21:04
else?
1:21:04
What
1:21:05
else
1:21:05
is
1:21:05
the,
1:21:05
like,
1:21:05
scary
1:21:06
stuff
1:21:06
that
1:21:06
needs
1:21:07
to
1:21:07
come
1:21:07
out?
1:21:08
Yes.
1:21:08
There's
1:21:09
always
1:21:09
more.
1:21:09
There's
1:21:10
always
1:21:10
more.
1:21:12
Amazing.
1:21:13
Well,
1:21:14
I
1:21:14
am
1:21:14
so
1:21:15
grateful
1:21:15
that
1:21:15
you
1:21:16
have
1:21:16
joined
1:21:16
us
1:21:16
here
1:21:17
on
1:21:17
the
1:21:17
iconic
1:21:17
midlife.
1:21:19
So
1:21:19
much
1:21:19
great
1:21:20
information
1:21:20
that
1:21:20
you
1:21:21
shared.
1:21:22
Please
1:21:22
tell
1:21:22
everybody
1:21:23
where
1:21:23
they
1:21:23
can
1:21:24
find
1:21:24
you.
1:21:25
Current
1:21:25
place
1:21:26
that
1:21:26
I'm
1:21:26
spending
1:21:26
a
1:21:27
lot
1:21:27
of
1:21:27
my
1:21:27
time
1:21:27
is
1:21:27
on
1:21:28
Instagram
1:21:29
ejonesmd.
1:21:30
So
1:21:31
I'd
1:21:31
be
1:21:31
happy
1:21:31
to
1:21:32
see
1:21:32
everybody
1:21:33
over
1:21:33
there
1:21:34
and
1:21:34
my
1:21:35
website
1:21:35
as
1:21:35
well,
1:21:36
where
1:21:36
you
1:21:36
can
1:21:36
figure
1:21:37
out,
1:21:37
find
1:21:37
out
1:21:38
all
1:21:38
of
1:21:38
the
1:21:38
current
1:21:39
programs
1:21:39
we
1:21:39
have.
1:21:40
Emmajonesmd.com
1:21:42
we
1:21:42
are
1:21:43
so
1:21:43
excited
1:21:44
for
1:21:44
everyone
1:21:44
to
1:21:45
hear
1:21:45
this
1:21:45
and
1:21:46
I
1:21:46
thank
1:21:46
you
1:21:47
so
1:21:47
much,
1:21:47
Emma,
1:21:47
for
1:21:48
joining
1:21:48
us.
1:21:49
Thank
1:21:49
you
1:21:49
for
1:21:49
having
1:21:49
me.
1:21:49
It's
1:21:50
been
1:21:50
a
1:21:50
fun
1:21:50
conversation.
1:21:51
That
1:21:52
conversation
1:21:53
felt
1:21:53
like
1:21:53
permission,
1:21:54
and
1:21:54
honestly,
1:21:55
that's
1:21:55
exactly
1:21:56
what
1:21:56
so
1:21:57
many
1:21:57
women
1:21:57
need
1:21:58
in
1:21:58
this
1:21:58
season.
1:21:59
If
1:21:59
something
1:22:00
Emma
1:22:00
said
1:22:00
resonated
1:22:01
with
1:22:01
you,
1:22:02
if
1:22:02
it
1:22:02
helped
1:22:02
you
1:22:03
name
1:22:03
something
1:22:03
you've
1:22:04
been
1:22:04
feeling
1:22:04
but
1:22:05
couldn't
1:22:05
quite
1:22:06
articulate,
1:22:07
I'd
1:22:07
love
1:22:07
for
1:22:07
you
1:22:08
to
1:22:08
take
1:22:08
a
1:22:08
moment
1:22:09
to
1:22:09
rate
1:22:09
and
1:22:09
review
1:22:10
the
1:22:10
show
1:22:10
on
1:22:11
your
1:22:11
favorite
1:22:11
podcast
1:22:12
app.
1:22:13
It
1:22:13
truly
1:22:13
matters
1:22:14
and
1:22:14
it
1:22:15
helps
1:22:15
more
1:22:15
women
1:22:16
find
1:22:16
these
1:22:16
conversations
1:22:17
when
1:22:17
they
1:22:18
need
1:22:18
them
1:22:18
most.
1:22:19
And
1:22:20
if
1:22:20
you're
1:22:20
not
1:22:20
already
1:22:21
following
1:22:21
the
1:22:21
iconic
1:22:22
midlife,
1:22:23
make
1:22:23
sure
1:22:24
you
1:22:24
hit
1:22:24
follow
1:22:25
or
1:22:25
subscribe
1:22:26
wherever
1:22:26
you
1:22:26
listen.
1:22:27
Or
1:22:27
watch
1:22:28
Apple
1:22:28
Podcasts,
1:22:29
Spotify,
1:22:30
Amazon
1:22:31
Music,
1:22:31
YouTube,
1:22:32
so
1:22:33
you
1:22:33
never
1:22:33
miss
1:22:33
an
1:22:34
episode.
1:22:35
You
1:22:35
can
1:22:35
also
1:22:35
share
1:22:36
this
1:22:36
episode
1:22:36
with
1:22:36
a
1:22:37
friend
1:22:37
who
1:22:37
might
1:22:38
be
1:22:38
quietly
1:22:38
carrying
1:22:39
too
1:22:39
much
1:22:39
much.
1:22:40
Sometimes
1:22:41
the
1:22:41
most
1:22:41
powerful
1:22:41
thing
1:22:42
we
1:22:42
can
1:22:42
say
1:22:42
is
1:22:43
you're
1:22:43
not
1:22:43
alone
1:22:44
and
1:22:44
you're
1:22:45
not
1:22:45
imagining
1:22:46
this.
1:22:47
As
1:22:47
always,
1:22:48
thank
1:22:48
you
1:22:48
for
1:22:49
being
1:22:49
here,
1:22:49
for
1:22:50
being
1:22:50
curious,
1:22:51
and
1:22:51
for
1:22:51
choosing
1:22:52
yourself,
1:22:53
even
1:22:53
in
1:22:54
small
1:22:54
ways.
1:22:55
Until
1:22:55
next
1:22:55
time,
1:22:56
stay
1:22:57
bold
1:22:57
and
1:22:57
stay
1:22:58
iconic.