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Monday Mini: The Pushback Against the Pride Flag · Stuff Mom Never Told You

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha, and welcome to stuff
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: I never told you protection of iHeartRadio, and today I'm
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: just going to share some personal stuff that was brought
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: on by news item that I found, but also some
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: stuff going on in my life.
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: And it's.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: Kind of frustrating around like acceptance of the queer community
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: and LGBTQ plus people and your family. So I hear
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: you if you don't want to hear it right now,
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: but I so. So there was this news story that
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: said this place in Michigan had banned Pride flax in public,
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: and here's a quote from the Inn about it. The
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: resolution brought by city council member Mohammed Hassan says that
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: the city council will not provide special treatment to any
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: group of people. City council members shared that flying a
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: Pride flag could potentially lead to other quote radical or
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: racist groups asking for their flags to be flown.
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: So there was that. And then.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: I'm sure you all have seen, but there's been a
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: lot of a lot of the flags at Stonewall.
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: Have been destroyed.
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: So I was thinking about this, but I wasn't, like,
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: you know, going to talk about it really, But then
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: I was talking with my mom, and we am very
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: fortunate to have this beach house that my grandparents built.
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: You've been, Samantha.
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: It's very lovely, yes, yes, but it shared amongst like
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: a lot of people.
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: It's basically.
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's got to be fifteen plus people have
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: access to it.
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: And I last two years ago.
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: Two years ago, we were there and I have two
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: friends who I won't say fell in love there, but
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: it was like kind of where their relationship started, their
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: romantic relationships started. They are queer. I've known these women
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: since middle school high school, so we go every year,
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: so I've known them for a very long time, and
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: I remember joking with them that I thought they were
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: the power couple before I even knew what was going.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: I was like the last one in our friend group
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: to find out because I didn't understand.
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: When one of them told me, she was like I
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: love her, and I was like, yeah, me too, friendship,
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: this is.
• 3:05
  Speaker 3: So on par with everything else in your life, dating, romance,
• 3:08
  Speaker 3: love life, so yeah, absolutely.
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: And then like the next day after she told me
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: that because I just got into a lift.
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: This was back in the days when I like went
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: out to clubs at night and.
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: So I got in the lift she said that, and
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: then I get this text and I was like, we
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: really need to hang out tomorrow again.
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: And I was like, oh, okay, well sure, but they
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: were like, we need to make you understand what really right?
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: Right, So it's like an important place in terms of
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: their relationship. And they had their bachelorette party there. It
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: was very cute, a lot of peach themed items and
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: it was very cute. So two years ago, there's a
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: flagpole out fronts and we flew the Pride flag so
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: they could take pictures, pictures they You know, I didn't
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: really think anything of it, which is perhaps saying something
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: I think I've said before. You know, I'm so used
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: to like my friend group in Atlanta, and like I
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: don't encounter homophobia like in person a lot anymore.
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: Like online, yes, in the news, yes, but like in person.
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: And so.
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: All my friends were sleeping, I was outside alone, just relaxing,
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: and one of my relatives came up to me and
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: he was just acting kind of funny. He was acting
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: kind of weird, and he was like, well, where is
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: everybody else? And I sat out there inside and he
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: was like, what are you doing? Like just relaxing, you
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: know whatever. The next day, seven am, I had a
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: phone call from my mom that's like, you have to
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: take the flag down. And I was so confused, and
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: I was kind disoriented because it was seven am, and
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: I remember kind of hedging about it where it was like,
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: it's not like causing any harms. You know, this is
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: our property and all this stuff. And it was clear
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: my mom was not she was being asked by someone else,
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: and I just didn't have the heart to like tell
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: my friends to take it down, so we left it up.
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: I didn't say anything about it, and it was just
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: strange because then I was looking back over that interaction
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: I had with the relative, and he was it was
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: kind of gross because he was like it felt very
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: like oh like he thought maybe they were all inside
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: having sex or something or like you know, that kind
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: of sexualization, and or he was like angry that now,
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: oh the another attractor to me, this old dude, which
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: is gross. And again this is like, maybe that's not
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: what it was. But he didn't even know what the
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: flag meant. He had to look it up. He had
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: to look it up and then call another relative, who
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: then called my mom. And so that reminded me of
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: your story with your family, Samantha, where you were like,
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: do you even know when pride is?
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: Like he didn't even know what this flag was, right,
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: He was just like I gotta look it up. Okay, no,
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: this has to be angry.
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes, And it was so sad because, like I said,
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: it's it is it might for my friends, it's an
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: important place and for me it is who I'm also queer.
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: So it was just like an uncomfortable situation. And then
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: so I try to keep it a secret, which I
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: don't know if it is a good thing or the
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: bad thing, I don't know, but I tried to like
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: preserve I can handle this. I can handle my family,
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: and I'm not going to put it on you. So
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: I tried not to tell them anything. The next year,
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: we came and we put up a Star Wars flag
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: because we're that cool, and it was like Obi wan
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: Kenobi had come out like we were living our best
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: Star Wars life, and we got like a lot of
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: people came over and said, oh, basically the flag. I'm
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: glad it's a different flag than the other flag. Everyone
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: was cool with the Star Wars flag.
• 7:23
  Speaker 3: Wait, people actually came over to tell you that, to
• 7:25
  Speaker 3: tell you that they're glad it's not the other.
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: Flag one one person did, and then someone else came
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: over and like, I interpreted what she said as she
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: did not care because my uncle it was My uncle
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: also called the neighbors and asked and they were like, no,
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: we don't care. So that's how I interpreted it. But
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: now I'm not so sure. That's I don't know. But
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: people came up and so the truth had to come
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: out with my friends, where I was like, yes, they
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: were real mad about it.
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: I hate it.
• 7:58
  Speaker 3: So for a full year they didn't know.
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: Yes, your friends that know, yeah, because I didn't want
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: them to feel like how I was feeling after it.
• 8:08
  Speaker 3: And it also says they didn't listen to the show,
• 8:10
  Speaker 3: because I remember we talked about this immediately.
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: After I'll dare you. Yeah, yeah, well they do. Actually
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: one of them does listen to a lot of it, so.
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I know.
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: But anyway, anyway, anyway, so I had kept it a secret,
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: and then when it came out, I wasn't a big deal.
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: But then I was kind of caught between.
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: This desire to like, let's piss this old guy off
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: as much as we can let's hang up all the flags,
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: and my poor mom's caught in between.
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: So all of that.
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: This other day, my mom called me and it came
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: up and she said, they've requested you only fly the
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: American flag and no other flag, which I don't care,
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: Like honestly, I don't care, And I could like hang
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: up all of the flags alongside, like there's a lot
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: of things I could do, but it was just kind
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: of like, oh my god, it's been two years, Like
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: chill out, just just.
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: Just stop with this.
• 9:24
  Speaker 3: I feel like, like like hearing this from the beginning
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: of the first incident to this, it shows the level
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: of media influence, especially conservative media influence, and where where
• 9:38
  Speaker 3: they're getting their news and how they're dealing with it.
• 9:41
  Speaker 3: So their following suit to the conservative gas lighting of
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: the queer individuals in general, which wasn't not happening as
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: much five years ago. It started happening within the Trump administration,
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: and it got bigger and bigger and bigger, and then
• 9:56
  Speaker 3: went from trance to obviously all queer because we knew
• 9:58
  Speaker 3: that was going to happen now doing all the things.
• 10:01
  Speaker 3: But yeah, it almost is like the perfect timeline of
• 10:04
  Speaker 3: predictor of what's happening in your family.
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it does feel like it's backtracking along with what
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: we're seeing in the news because originally there's like three
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: main family members involved in this, and originally it was
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: like two to one on my side, with my mom
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: obviously being on my side. Now it's two to one
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: against me. Although I mean he didn't say anything specific,
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: but I feel like that's a pretty clear, right message.
• 10:30
  Speaker 3: That's especially there's like we have to tell Annie, Yeah,
• 10:33
  Speaker 3: that is more than pointed, that is obvious.
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes, And it was just so infuriating because and
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: I'm sure a lot of listeners can relate to this.
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: I know any listener who's been to a family gathering
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: where you don't agree politically can relate to this. But
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: it's so annoying because there is a part of me
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: that's like, no, I just do what I want, And
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: there's another part of me that's like, is that the
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: fight I want to have?
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: Is that the fight I want to pull my mom into, because.
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: I mean, one of them lives like right there, so
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: it would be I would be dealing with it, which
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: is not what I want on a vagation, right, Yeah,
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: but it makes me feel like then I'm not standing
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: up for stuff.
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: But at the same time, I'm like, we all have
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: to choose these battles.
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: But that's why I'm like, maybe I'll compromise and I'll
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: hang a bunch of them about and not put it
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: on just like black right.
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: Put it on.
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: Get the little little like uh, decorations that go on tables,
• 11:38
  Speaker 3: you know, while people have flags on tables, Yeah, put
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: it all over your little posts.
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: Ye have a little porch, just put it there. Yeah.
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: And it's also like it's just frustrated because you know,
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: I don't want to pull my friends into it. I
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: don't want them to get dragged into my family drama,
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: even though I'm sure they have all dealt with it too.
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: So I don't know. I was just like reading this
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: news and then my mom.
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: Said that, and I was like, jeez, it really has
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: become a lot a lot worse.
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: I do agree with you, but I'm gonna come up
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: with something. I don't know what I'm gonna do.
• 12:19
  Speaker 3: I'm excited to hear what you come up with.
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: Yes, yes, I will.
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: And it is it's like the fact that he didn't
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: even know what it was. That's oh my god. All right, Well,
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: I'll report back.
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: I'm sure, because we're going in July. Yes.
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: Well, it's also I'm really annoyed too because they were like,
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: that's what your grandfather would have wanted, only the American flag,
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: and it's like, okay, bring him into this.
• 12:49
  Speaker 3: Indicate what the American flag is today. It's almost more
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: fearful for me to see than anything else. It almost
• 12:57
  Speaker 3: translates into the opposite of what a pride fly would be. Right.
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: It does feel like the people who would proudly be
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: flying it, and I'm not saying you can't, but it
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: feels like a lot of the people who are are
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: probably people I won't agree with a little lot of things, right, yeah, yeah,
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: which is a really unfortunate, unfortunate thing, but yeah, yeah,
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: So we'll see what happens. I will come back listeners.
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: If you have any thoughts suggestions on how to deal
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: with this, are ways I can like.
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: And make a statement, but not fly a flag a pole.
• 13:35
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• 13:36
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• 13:39
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• 13:56
  Speaker 1: As always to our super producer Christina, our executive producer,
• 14:00
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• 14:02
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