Latest / The Bechdel Cast / Transformers with Teresa Lee

Transcript

Transformers with Teresa Lee · The Bechdel Cast

0:00
Speaker 1: On the Doe Cast, the questions asked if movies have
0:03
Speaker 1: women in um are all their discussions just boyfriends and husbands,
0:07
Speaker 1: or do they have individualism the patriarchy and best start
0:12
Speaker 1: changing it with the cast. Hey, welcome to the Beck
0:16
Speaker 1: Dol Cast. My name is Jamie, my name is Caitlin,
0:18
Speaker 1: and this is our podcast where we talk about the
0:20
Speaker 1: role of women in movies. Sometimes it is okay, wait,
0:25
Speaker 1: I just got really sidetracked, okay from what we haven't
0:29
Speaker 1: even I don't know. I just you know, like my
0:31
Speaker 1: brain just went off in forty five different directions and
0:33
Speaker 1: only one is the correct one. Well, a lot about
0:37
Speaker 1: fourteen of my thoughts right now are in reference to
0:39
Speaker 1: your braids, which, at the time of this recording, this
0:43
Speaker 1: is your last day of being thirty years old. A lot, right, Yeah,
0:51
Speaker 1: your last day of three How do you feel? I
0:54
Speaker 1: feel fine. As I've mentioned before, I am a woman
0:58
Speaker 1: of advancing years. I hate you round. You make it
1:02
Speaker 1: sound like your Jane fond like. No, I feel fine
1:07
Speaker 1: about it. I'll be thirty one tomorrow, although by the
1:10
Speaker 1: time this episode comes out, I will have been thirty
1:12
Speaker 1: one for a few weeks, so much wiser. Right, What
1:16
Speaker 1: was the correct way for remember, oh, this is our
1:19
Speaker 1: podcast about the role of women in movies. It is
1:23
Speaker 1: based around the Bechdel test, which movie must have a
1:27
Speaker 1: scene between two women who have names and they talk
1:32
Speaker 1: about something that is other than a man. Almost never
1:35
Speaker 1: happens or sometimes barely happens. Yes, sometimes it passed this
1:40
Speaker 1: by the skin of its teeth, and we're like right.
1:43
Speaker 1: And then sometimes it's like you have these convers like
1:46
Speaker 1: sometimes we'll have a conversation and I'll leave it like, yikes,
1:50
Speaker 1: that didn't pass either, which is like we were just
1:52
Speaker 1: complaining the whole time about man, which I which maybe
1:55
Speaker 1: you should count if it's like a very negative if
1:58
Speaker 1: you're talking about like murder ordering men, I would argue
2:03
Speaker 1: an amendment to the rule. You can't be talking about
2:05
Speaker 1: men or you can be talking about killing them due
2:08
Speaker 1: to the fact that they've wronged you, or for sport,
2:12
Speaker 1: or filling men for sport. Surely for sport. Yeah. So
2:16
Speaker 1: it's like if we're talking about our hunting trips, we
2:20
Speaker 1: we go out and kill problematic men, that does pass
2:23
Speaker 1: our vision, We're going to be arrested. That's okay, cool,
2:27
Speaker 1: that's okay. I was it as long as we're in
2:29
Speaker 1: jail together. I think that there should be a police
2:31
Speaker 1: officer outside of all open mics, just waiting to arrest
2:37
Speaker 1: man who say dangerous thing open mics. You've got an
2:39
Speaker 1: open can of Mike's hard lemonade. Whoa holy ship? Yeah,
2:43
Speaker 1: you're not wrong, You're not wrong. And now today I'm
2:46
Speaker 1: the only person with alcoholic Yeah, I meant to four pm.
2:49
Speaker 1: I feel like a real clown. I had every intention
2:52
Speaker 1: of bringing a small bottle of wine. I know, and
2:55
Speaker 1: I totally forgot it. But I feel like it was
2:57
Speaker 1: my best performance on an episode ever, the one one
3:00
Speaker 1: where I was drinking wine. It's like, you know, you
3:03
Speaker 1: like hit a point where you drink a little bit
3:05
Speaker 1: and then it makes you better at everything. That sounds
3:08
Speaker 1: like a dangerous message to spread. Oh yeah, like driving,
3:14
Speaker 1: not like operating heavy machinery. But like remember when um
3:19
Speaker 1: guitar Hero was popular like a decade ago. I know you,
3:23
Speaker 1: I know you're good at guitar Hero. There's bragging about
3:27
Speaker 1: it at Bengo last week. Oh man, that's embarrassing. We
3:31
Speaker 1: went to Bengal last week and and I was Caitlin
3:34
Speaker 1: was bragging about how good she is a guitar which
3:37
Speaker 1: which of those things is more embarrassing that we were
3:39
Speaker 1: at Bengal. I had a great time at Bingo, but
3:41
Speaker 1: only because I won. Yeah. True, we got to go
3:44
Speaker 1: back to that place and use our ten dollar gift certificate. Hey,
3:47
Speaker 1: we should introduce our guests before we yea we got
3:50
Speaker 1: rid of So I'd love to go to Bingo with
3:55
Speaker 1: our guests. Yes, addation to the table. Awesome our guest today,
3:59
Speaker 1: she were a Cracked dot com. Also, she runs a
4:02
Speaker 1: monthly comedy show in Los Angeles called Very Forward Teresa Lee.
4:08
Speaker 1: I was trying to be really good about not speaking
4:10
Speaker 1: before my intro um you podcast etiquette. We heard you
4:15
Speaker 1: guys all at people we went element, That's the rule.
4:22
Speaker 1: I also like to think that Mike's Hard has a
4:24
Speaker 1: surge in sales just because of this pot. I hope
4:26
Speaker 1: who else is drinking Mike's Hard at all? I don't know.
4:31
Speaker 1: I don't know, but my local seven elevens I was
4:34
Speaker 1: just I have a great screenshot on my phone right now.
4:37
Speaker 1: My friend and I are hanging out at a seven
4:39
Speaker 1: eleven tonight and plans to hang out that we're try Yeah,
4:44
Speaker 1: we're texting trying to figure out like which one to
4:46
Speaker 1: go to. Seven elevens are actually in Taiwan, like a
4:49
Speaker 1: really cool I mean that's not like a cool hangout,
4:51
Speaker 1: but they're much better. They're just like better food. It's
4:54
Speaker 1: like I can't describe. It's just like a happier vibe
4:57
Speaker 1: when you walk in. They have like tea, eggs and
4:59
Speaker 1: good food and there's like, my, it's really cute. Yeah,
5:03
Speaker 1: it's just like a cute place to go. It sounds
5:05
Speaker 1: like a wah wah yeah a little bit. It's a
5:07
Speaker 1: really nice, pleasant experience, whereas here I always think of
5:10
Speaker 1: just like drunk high school students. Yeah. And then me
5:15
Speaker 1: as someone who grew up in western Pennsylvania, I'm a
5:17
Speaker 1: sheets girl myself. I don't even what It's like a
5:21
Speaker 1: worse version of wah wah. As to say, I went
5:24
Speaker 1: to Philly recently and I was like, all I have
5:26
Speaker 1: to do is see the Liberty Bell and go to
5:28
Speaker 1: wa wa. What was cool? Well, it is cool, it
5:31
Speaker 1: was it was happened. I felt a little bit unsafe there,
5:34
Speaker 1: but it was also late and but you know, Walla rules.
5:37
Speaker 1: What else were we talking about? It seems so we're
5:40
Speaker 1: doing anything to talk about the movie. We're here, Yes,
5:43
Speaker 1: one more thing in regards to Duncan Donuts, which is
5:48
Speaker 1: my bread and butter. Having come from a town, I
5:50
Speaker 1: would call it your donut and frosting, but my and
5:56
Speaker 1: my donut and old frosting. The Duncan DUTs in Los
5:59
Speaker 1: ange Lists are they kind of sound like the Seven
6:02
Speaker 1: elevens you were describing, where people don't realize that they're
6:05
Speaker 1: supposed to be disgusting havens for society's forgotten yet and
6:12
Speaker 1: they're still pretty clean. There's a WiFi signal, people don't
6:16
Speaker 1: seem unhappy to be there. It's like it's amazing. I'm
6:18
Speaker 1: looking forward to about the year or so that we
6:20
Speaker 1: have left at the West Coast Los Angeles Duncan Donuts,
6:25
Speaker 1: God blessed. Shout out to my crew in that water
6:28
Speaker 1: village cool. Anything else we need to cover before we
6:32
Speaker 1: jump into the really great movie we're talking about feminist
6:37
Speaker 1: Michael Bays two thousand seven Transformers, and boy are we
6:43
Speaker 1: not happy about it. Three days to watch it because
6:47
Speaker 1: I had to keep stopping it so hard to watch
6:51
Speaker 1: it really is. Have you seen it before but a
6:54
Speaker 1: long time ago? Yeah? When did you first see it?
6:58
Speaker 1: I saw it at a drive in with my brother
7:01
Speaker 1: and my dad, which is like the two worst people
7:06
Speaker 1: at a drive in in Maine. There used to be
7:08
Speaker 1: they do double features. I saw it in the theater,
7:12
Speaker 1: then I watched it again for a paper that I
7:15
Speaker 1: wrote in college, which I brought and intend to read. Yes,
7:19
Speaker 1: I'm so excited. Then I watched it again to prep
7:23
Speaker 1: for this episode two times, and I'm I'm furious. First
7:28
Speaker 1: of all, it's an assault to all of my senses,
7:32
Speaker 1: including my sixth sense where and able to see dead people,
7:37
Speaker 1: and Hale, I'm gonna pass out, Hayley Joel Asmond will
7:44
Speaker 1: not respondent once that next to him off Broadway play.
7:49
Speaker 1: He's so cultured, so cultured, he's so smart, he's so small.
7:54
Speaker 1: I can fit him in a backpack. Why doesn't he
7:57
Speaker 1: hang out with me? I'm upset? This movie is just
8:01
Speaker 1: I hate this movie so much. And people are like, Okay,
8:05
Speaker 1: where are you doing an episode on this? Why is why?
8:07
Speaker 1: Who picked this? Why why are you doing it if
8:09
Speaker 1: you hate it so much? And yes, I picked it
8:11
Speaker 1: because this podcast is all about synergy. You know, there's
8:14
Speaker 1: a new Transformers movie coming out. We have to stay relevant.
8:19
Speaker 1: I do remember, not like I didn't remember not liking
8:24
Speaker 1: it as much as I did not like it this
8:26
Speaker 1: second time, because I remember being like, you know, a
8:28
Speaker 1: drunk food candy movie. But I remember being like, oh,
8:31
Speaker 1: it's fun. I remember Megan Fox was hot, and then
8:33
Speaker 1: rewatching it, there's so many more things that I was like, whoa,
8:36
Speaker 1: that was unnecessary? Like why did you put that line
8:39
Speaker 1: in what? I made a list of all the things
8:42
Speaker 1: that I don't like about it, which I will, well,
8:46
Speaker 1: should I start with the recap and then going, well,
8:49
Speaker 1: the paper that's great, I'm excited. What great did you
8:55
Speaker 1: get on this? I got an a minus. It's not
8:58
Speaker 1: well written. It was for an English class that I
9:00
Speaker 1: took in college. I had to write a review of something,
9:02
Speaker 1: and everyone else in the class was like they were
9:04
Speaker 1: writing reviews on things that they loved, and I was like,
9:07
Speaker 1: can I write a review on something that I hate?
9:09
Speaker 1: My teachers like yes, please, I said, great, I'm going
9:11
Speaker 1: to write about Transformers. This is this horribly written paper
9:15
Speaker 1: that I wrote in college. Okay. I wondered if a
9:17
Speaker 1: summer blockbuster that got a majority of fresh reviews on
9:20
Speaker 1: Rotten Tomatoes would transform my opinion of Michael Bay's capability
9:25
Speaker 1: as a director. When I watched Transformers, I was unpleasantly
9:30
Speaker 1: surprised by the movie and pleasantly unsurprised by Michael Bay
9:35
Speaker 1: and his inability to direct a decent film. Transformers is
9:39
Speaker 1: an overrated, clunky movie because of its inadequate script and
9:43
Speaker 1: poor direction. Cool thesis, thanks Caitlin. And then here's the plot.
9:49
Speaker 1: Um Sam Witwicky played by shy La Buff, the main character,
9:52
Speaker 1: gets a new car, which happens to be a transforming robot.
9:56
Speaker 1: More Transformers arrived to Earth from the depths of space
9:59
Speaker 1: looking for the Cube, a device that contains pure energy
10:03
Speaker 1: and that can create life a k transform It's not clear, Um,
10:09
Speaker 1: not super. Among the alien robots are Decepticons, evil Transformers
10:16
Speaker 1: who want the Cube to transform human technology so they
10:19
Speaker 1: can destroy the human race with it. I think the
10:23
Speaker 1: Cube is found, and when the Decepticons try to steal
10:26
Speaker 1: it from the US government, everyone battles. I'm not good
10:30
Speaker 1: at writing, and ultimately the good Transformers beat the Decepticons
10:34
Speaker 1: with the help of Sam and his friends and the
10:37
Speaker 1: US Air Force and Sector seven. Sector seven Okay, let
10:44
Speaker 1: me try to find the best part. Already sound exhausted.
10:47
Speaker 1: Transformers like the idea, like just to clarify the cartoon
10:52
Speaker 1: is cool, Like the movie is terrible, but the idea
10:55
Speaker 1: of alien robots good. I should have this by saying
10:59
Speaker 1: I I have not seen any I didn't play with
11:02
Speaker 1: any transformed toys. I didn't watch the series, and I
11:06
Speaker 1: have not seen the movie from the animated movie. From
11:10
Speaker 1: my history was yeah, I didn't watch the original movie.
11:14
Speaker 1: But the toys, well, I had like a family friend
11:17
Speaker 1: who was like two years older, who was like a
11:18
Speaker 1: guy who had all the guy toys. So I didn't
11:20
Speaker 1: have myself, but I always wanted, you know, we have
11:22
Speaker 1: an older friends. I wanted to impress him, so you'd
11:26
Speaker 1: have transformers, and I was like, I thought, if I
11:29
Speaker 1: could figure out how to change them, it would impress him.
11:32
Speaker 1: I play with those toys did not impress him. I
11:35
Speaker 1: was busy playing with mostly Legos. Okay, yeah, but we're
11:40
Speaker 1: not talking about the Lego movie. God damn it. Okay,
11:42
Speaker 1: yeah that's a fun one. I like that, right if
11:45
Speaker 1: he would. Okay, So then I go on to say
11:48
Speaker 1: where there should be progression of plot and character development,
11:51
Speaker 1: there is unneeded violence, stupid jokes, and characters who, when
11:54
Speaker 1: they aren't trying too hard to be super badass, they
11:57
Speaker 1: are delivering absurd lines of dialogue. A cop asks Sambo,
12:02
Speaker 1: my piece. A kid with a video camera runs towards explosions,
12:08
Speaker 1: exclaiming this is easily a hundred times cooler than Armageddon.
12:12
Speaker 1: Either Michael Bay, who also directed Armageddon, has no tax,
12:17
Speaker 1: has no tact by alluding to himself, or he is
12:21
Speaker 1: acknowledging just how terrible of a director he is. He
12:25
Speaker 1: is certainly not. He has no idea. He has no idea.
12:29
Speaker 1: He just strets off to that part of the movie. Right. Yeah,
12:32
Speaker 1: Armageddon is such a stinky movie. But boy does every
12:38
Speaker 1: parent of that era it openly admit to crying at Armageddon.
12:43
Speaker 1: My parents for sure cried at Arma that song because
12:51
Speaker 1: Live Tyler's in that movie, and so she's like, Dad,
12:55
Speaker 1: give us a banger. He does. Why don't they make
12:59
Speaker 1: a movie is on the Aerosmith roller coaster? It was
13:02
Speaker 1: an Aerosmith roller Yeah, man, I've I've dropped some hot
13:06
Speaker 1: revs to the ars throughout. We talked about it in
13:09
Speaker 1: every roller coaster movie one and this is what they're multiple. Yeah,
13:14
Speaker 1: the money the Rollercroaster movie there. I was reading something
13:18
Speaker 1: today about just like wow, this summer is just only
13:22
Speaker 1: reboots of things from ten years ago, and I feel
13:25
Speaker 1: like the Bechtel cast is really reflecting that, because we've
13:28
Speaker 1: been talking about a ton of anyways, it's called The
13:31
Speaker 1: Rock and Roller Coaster starring Arrowsmith. So, uh, if you're
13:36
Speaker 1: listening to this three or four years from now and
13:38
Speaker 1: you just saw the movie Rock and Roller Coaster starring Aerosmith,
13:41
Speaker 1: the movie chances are I wrote that, Oh boy. Then
13:49
Speaker 1: I write a few paragraphs about how it's riddled with cliches,
13:53
Speaker 1: that it failed to adhere to any sort of basic
13:56
Speaker 1: laws of physics, and it's hard to suspend my disbelief
13:58
Speaker 1: for a lot of things. And then twenty or twenty
14:02
Speaker 1: one year old Caitlin wrote, the only leading female character
14:06
Speaker 1: is just another sex object for teenage boys to fantasize about.
14:11
Speaker 1: Although they tried so desperately to avoid this by giving
14:13
Speaker 1: her a typical masculine ability, being adept at mechanics, she
14:19
Speaker 1: still is just a nice body with a pretty face
14:22
Speaker 1: and no brains behind it. So really solid analysis from
14:27
Speaker 1: ten years ago when I was dumb. And then I
14:29
Speaker 1: go on to say that it's poorly acted, poorly directed,
14:34
Speaker 1: blah blah blah. The cinematography is terrible, action scenes give
14:38
Speaker 1: you seizures, b editing a sloppy and then I say,
14:42
Speaker 1: I must ignore the possibility that this movie was made
14:44
Speaker 1: to serve as a two and a half hour commercial
14:46
Speaker 1: for the U. S. Air Force. And then I say,
14:51
Speaker 1: word on the street is that Michael Bay is directing
14:54
Speaker 1: Transformers Too, to be released in two thousand nine. Even
14:58
Speaker 1: if it's one d times better than Transformers, therefore ten
15:01
Speaker 1: thousand times better than Armageddon, it will still be a
15:05
Speaker 1: stupid Pecia ship. I didn't say that, but yeah, so
15:12
Speaker 1: that was my really cool paper, um my review of Transformers.
15:16
Speaker 1: Well done, Thank you, well done. I think you should
15:18
Speaker 1: have gotten a higher grade. I think I should have
15:20
Speaker 1: gotten a lower grade. Honestly, I could see it both ways.
15:25
Speaker 1: I think if we're grading on terms of passion, I
15:29
Speaker 1: was very passionate. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The recount, I
15:34
Speaker 1: don't even want to say it. I don't even want
15:36
Speaker 1: to go there. Of what happens, yeah, I mean, I'll
15:40
Speaker 1: do it as quickly as possible. Chila buff has a
15:43
Speaker 1: character with a very stupid name, Sam went Wicky. I
15:47
Speaker 1: would argue, this is where we lose him. This is
15:49
Speaker 1: where we lose him, because we had him. We had holes.
15:52
Speaker 1: We had holes. We had holes. I love holes, you know,
15:55
Speaker 1: even Stevens he made that misstep in that kind of
15:57
Speaker 1: offensive Disney Channel original movie called True Confessions. I won't
16:02
Speaker 1: get into it here, but this is where we lose him.
16:06
Speaker 1: Sam Whitwicky gets a car and it turns out that
16:10
Speaker 1: it's an alien space spot. There's a pair of glasses
16:13
Speaker 1: that belonged to his great grandfather and somehow they have
16:18
Speaker 1: important information and printed on them. Don't even they don't
16:21
Speaker 1: even come. They have the coordinates, but then the government
16:23
Speaker 1: is just like, oh, we know where it is, and
16:25
Speaker 1: then they just go away. It just goes Wait, are
16:28
Speaker 1: you suggesting that this story isn't very good? They just
16:34
Speaker 1: hired off and he was like, I already called make
16:39
Speaker 1: it where God, there's the bad Transformers, the bad guys. Yeah,
16:51
Speaker 1: one of them names Star Scream Starscream Scream. Really wait,
16:57
Speaker 1: it must sounds like a good guy blanked out. Yeah
17:00
Speaker 1: school name. He sounds like the legal Oh yeah, that
17:04
Speaker 1: does sound like a ruler name. That's good. But Mary
17:08
Speaker 1: fu Kill Optimus Prime, Megan Tron Star Scream love it,
17:14
Speaker 1: I love it anyway, who knows what the story is.
17:17
Speaker 1: There's big robots and they fight other big robots and
17:20
Speaker 1: Sam went Wick he's there with Megan Fox. He wants
17:23
Speaker 1: to fuck her. She's good at fixing cars the end,
17:27
Speaker 1: but she's a criminal and he gets mad when he finds.
17:29
Speaker 1: He's like, I can't believe you're lied about your criminal past,
17:32
Speaker 1: and she's like, I would have told you, but I
17:34
Speaker 1: was trying to protect my day. She's mad about this.
17:38
Speaker 1: He like the criminal part really disturbed me because when
17:43
Speaker 1: the agent John to her open, it's like yelling at
17:46
Speaker 1: Megan Fox, who's an underage high school girl, about being
17:50
Speaker 1: a criminal. He's like, criminals are hot. What are you training? Bra?
17:53
Speaker 1: Like he's like yelling at her. It's so disgusting And
17:55
Speaker 1: then he and the whole part disturb me so much.
17:59
Speaker 1: And then she makes a take off his clothes as
18:01
Speaker 1: a punishment. But that scene is so creepy because it's like,
18:05
Speaker 1: why is she still He's clearly getting off on this
18:08
Speaker 1: like that she made him take off his clothes and
18:10
Speaker 1: he said, you're going to go to DOT for this,
18:12
Speaker 1: and it's like, no, girl just made you take off
18:16
Speaker 1: your like and like totally forgot about that scene, like
18:21
Speaker 1: that was something I must have just blocked out he
18:24
Speaker 1: calls her training bra. He's like, to preserve my view
18:30
Speaker 1: of John Turtuot, I had to imagine at the end
18:32
Speaker 1: of every take of that him just being like, I'm
18:34
Speaker 1: so sorry, so sorry, and then explaining that he needs
18:38
Speaker 1: the money to like pay for his son's doctorate or something.
18:43
Speaker 1: I was like, surely John Turtuot must have had a
18:45
Speaker 1: noble reason for accepting. I'm just I mean, I'm just
18:49
Speaker 1: glad that it wasn't Alfred Molina. You know, there are
18:52
Speaker 1: worse men who could have gone down with this film,
18:55
Speaker 1: and Alfred he was good. He was coasting on his
18:58
Speaker 1: dock dock money. He was his reputation remains intact. Yeah,
19:03
Speaker 1: and that's hey, that's saying something. Yeah. That scene. There's
19:10
Speaker 1: also like a what I think is an attempt at
19:13
Speaker 1: a joke, where like he's wearing this like Sector seven
19:16
Speaker 1: like Superman T shirt, which is like, ha ha, look
19:20
Speaker 1: at him. He loves Sector seven so much he wears
19:22
Speaker 1: it an undershirt about it, and it's like, I think,
19:25
Speaker 1: an attempt at comedy, but it's not funny. I wasn't
19:29
Speaker 1: sure what they were going for. I think it was
19:31
Speaker 1: a joke. I think another huge thing about this movie.
19:34
Speaker 1: I forgot was like how integral the government is in it?
19:39
Speaker 1: Like when I thought of this because I did see
19:42
Speaker 1: it and presumably watched the whole thing, but like I
19:46
Speaker 1: just remember, like, oh yeah, Shyla buff cars, Megan Fox
19:49
Speaker 1: is treated like trash, like those are the three things.
19:52
Speaker 1: But I forgot there's so many yeah, like extended military sequences.
19:57
Speaker 1: So the point where it's like, I is bad. I
20:00
Speaker 1: didn't do correct research, but I'm like, were they receiving
20:02
Speaker 1: money from the military to make this? Because I mean
20:06
Speaker 1: so much of this movie is product placement, Like you
20:09
Speaker 1: know the cars are it's a commercial for General Motors, Right,
20:13
Speaker 1: it's like SD car too, Right when they pulled the
20:17
Speaker 1: drive out the verbi on it that one of the
20:22
Speaker 1: transformers picks up in like throws, which is weird because
20:25
Speaker 1: it's two thousand and seven, Like that's way fast, but sure, great. Yeah,
20:30
Speaker 1: there's a there's also like a Burger King image you see,
20:33
Speaker 1: there's a There's so much. I mean, it's it's insane.
20:36
Speaker 1: But I'm like, DoD they is that first of all?
20:38
Speaker 1: Is that would that be legal to take money from
20:41
Speaker 1: the US government to say like, hey, the U S
20:43
Speaker 1: government is great? Or is that just something you do
20:45
Speaker 1: because you're Michael Bay and you want attention. I don't know,
20:48
Speaker 1: I'd have to. I'd also have to do research about it. Yeah.
20:51
Speaker 1: I found a list of brands that are advertised in
20:54
Speaker 1: this movie. It is incredibly long. I'll read off as
20:58
Speaker 1: many as I can in a break through. Two Burger, King, Cadillacs, CBS, Chevrolet, Cisco, E, Bay,
21:06
Speaker 1: Gilmore Oil, gmc Hewlett, Packard, Hummer, iPod, MacBook, Mountain, dew
21:12
Speaker 1: of No, Kia, Panasonic, PayPal, Petal, Bismol, Pontiac, Porscha, Taco Bell,
21:21
Speaker 1: which is you know, too bad? I love Toyota, USA, Today, xbox, XM,
21:28
Speaker 1: Satellite Radio, Yahoo, and one fictional brand, Bolivia's Auto Sales.
21:35
Speaker 1: And that's it, right, just right. That is run by
21:39
Speaker 1: Bernie Mac's run by Bernie Mack write, not his character
21:45
Speaker 1: by Still. It's a little break of the fourth wall
21:48
Speaker 1: from the Grave Rest in Paradise Bernie Mac. That seems
21:53
Speaker 1: weird too, because there's he waves his mom across the
21:56
Speaker 1: hall and they're just like like just super slips him off,
22:01
Speaker 1: and then he says, he says, if I had a rock,
22:05
Speaker 1: I'd bust your head, bitch. That's a line that's spoken
22:09
Speaker 1: in this movie a male character to a female character,
22:13
Speaker 1: I mean Bernie Mack and any other person of color.
22:16
Speaker 1: The portrayal of those characters horribly racist and offensive. Holy
22:21
Speaker 1: sh It's just like they're screaming, they're loud when the
22:24
Speaker 1: cops break into the house or the FBI. And there's
22:28
Speaker 1: that scene where um, Anthony Anderson's house. Ye, brother just
22:33
Speaker 1: runs this, why is this happening? And um the character
22:41
Speaker 1: in the beginning who's speaking Spanish to his fellow air
22:45
Speaker 1: forces and they're like, don't fucking speak Spanish a piece
22:49
Speaker 1: of ship and he's like, no, I'm gonna keep it
22:51
Speaker 1: and they're like, don't English. Yeah, we're like to imagine
22:56
Speaker 1: that in like two thousand seven movie theaters. And was like, Oh,
23:00
Speaker 1: it's just it's like the subsect of people this movie
23:03
Speaker 1: does not fucking hate is so small that it's practically
23:07
Speaker 1: just shy al above and the government like and that's
23:11
Speaker 1: about it. And even certain people inside of the government
23:14
Speaker 1: through like this guy because he's not a white guy.
23:18
Speaker 1: Even like I feel like the movie tries to, like
23:20
Speaker 1: it'll kind of try to do something where're like, Okay,
23:22
Speaker 1: we're gonna give this woman a role and then they
23:25
Speaker 1: like shut it down, like the blonde Australian analyst, like
23:29
Speaker 1: we're gonna, you know, give a you know smart, make
23:32
Speaker 1: her smart and make a really knowledgeable. But then she
23:35
Speaker 1: has that theme where she figures out the Transformers thing.
23:38
Speaker 1: She walks in the room and the guys just like
23:40
Speaker 1: was she in here? And then for whatever, for no reason,
23:43
Speaker 1: like they hired her and then they who's she in here?
23:45
Speaker 1: And she's like They're like, oh, she figured it out,
23:47
Speaker 1: and the guy's just like she did it, like she
23:50
Speaker 1: probably had some help from her team. He says, why
23:53
Speaker 1: would I don't unders like waste of time and then
23:56
Speaker 1: they say something they're like, you stop using that brain
23:58
Speaker 1: mouth of yours, like what the fox You've hired her
24:03
Speaker 1: to help you and she did the thing and they yeah,
24:08
Speaker 1: they undermine her at every chance that yeah, and like
24:11
Speaker 1: she is arguably the most competent female character in the movie.
24:15
Speaker 1: Although like I had to look up her name because
24:17
Speaker 1: I like and she was Maggie. She did was like yeah,
24:20
Speaker 1: she didn't have one, right, Yeah, I think Anthony Anderson
24:24
Speaker 1: says her name like once. Other than that, like if
24:28
Speaker 1: you miss that, you don't know her name. Um, any right,
24:33
Speaker 1: But yeah, I mean she is one of pretty much
24:36
Speaker 1: two main female characters, the other one being Megan Fox.
24:40
Speaker 1: I would say that Sam what Wicky's mom is like
24:42
Speaker 1: more of a secondary character. She sucks. They all suck Megan. Okay,
24:47
Speaker 1: so let's talk about Megan Fox in her character boy
24:53
Speaker 1: Her character's name is Mikayla Tayla Babe. Here are the
24:58
Speaker 1: different things that are said to her throughout the movie.
25:03
Speaker 1: Her boyfriend toward the beginning is like, you can't drive
25:06
Speaker 1: my car. You're gonna set my wheels? Why doesn't my
25:09
Speaker 1: little bunny hop in the back seat? She does respond
25:12
Speaker 1: by saying, I can't even tell you how much I'm
25:15
Speaker 1: not your little bunny. So like his sexism is used
25:20
Speaker 1: as a marker to be like, this is a bad character,
25:22
Speaker 1: and then like same thing with like John Tuturo calling
25:25
Speaker 1: her like you in the training Brock. These are indications
25:28
Speaker 1: that like, oh, these are bad characters who we're not
25:30
Speaker 1: really supposed to like, but you don't get to do that,
25:32
Speaker 1: and then also treat that character like ship as the
25:35
Speaker 1: movie to treat her like so the scene where she
25:38
Speaker 1: like pops the hood and it's like seeing what's wrong
25:42
Speaker 1: with this like shitty camaro. It's just like lingering male gaze,
25:48
Speaker 1: headless women of Hollywood style, just like, oh, look at
25:51
Speaker 1: her hot abs, look at her nice little boobs, look
25:54
Speaker 1: at her ass, Just like a very objectifying several seconds
26:00
Speaker 1: worth of screen time where you're just like, yeah, I
26:04
Speaker 1: remember that scene. It's dark. It's pretty much the only
26:07
Speaker 1: scene from the movie. I think maybe that's why I
26:10
Speaker 1: was like, oh, I feel like it was a good Yeah. Yeah,
26:14
Speaker 1: it's kind of the only thing from the movie that
26:16
Speaker 1: I remember, like the only actually visual thing that I'm like,
26:19
Speaker 1: the car, yeah, totally. And and there's like, oh boy,
26:24
Speaker 1: I mean, if we're going into Michael Bay is history
26:29
Speaker 1: with women that's several hours long. But Megan Fox ended
26:34
Speaker 1: up leaving the Transformers franchise after the third movie, and
26:38
Speaker 1: she cited specifically because Michael Bay was such a verbally
26:42
Speaker 1: abusive piece of garbage, and Kate Beckinsale said very similar
26:47
Speaker 1: things about him when she was in Pearl Harbor. He's
26:50
Speaker 1: also a Bay joint. Um well she you guys know
26:54
Speaker 1: how or did you hear about her audition? I think
26:57
Speaker 1: for her audition for this movie, he had her his
27:00
Speaker 1: car and uh, but I was reading an article about
27:04
Speaker 1: it where yeah, they had or washed the car, and
27:06
Speaker 1: then I said, in fact, there were even rumors the
27:08
Speaker 1: director filmed the entire audition. I'm like, I hope so
27:11
Speaker 1: like it's not an audition, like right, I mean, but
27:15
Speaker 1: like so Lea's film it if that's the point, but
27:18
Speaker 1: then if you're just going to do it, then it's
27:19
Speaker 1: just just for you. Also, yeah, then it was like
27:21
Speaker 1: as evidence to incriminate him as being a horrible piece
27:25
Speaker 1: of ship. But then how many women auditioned for this
27:27
Speaker 1: and didn't get it that had to wash his car?
27:30
Speaker 1: And uh, for those girls, I hope they're doing okay.
27:35
Speaker 1: So here a few I'll give you some quotes from
27:38
Speaker 1: Kate Beckinsale and then from Megan Fox pertaining to this
27:41
Speaker 1: movie specifically. But Kate Beckinsale was in Pearl Harbor in
27:46
Speaker 1: OH One. She said, I don't think I fit the
27:49
Speaker 1: type of actress Michael Bay had met before. I think
27:51
Speaker 1: he was baffled by me because my boobs weren't bigger
27:54
Speaker 1: than my head and I wasn't blonde. I just had
27:57
Speaker 1: my daughter and had lost weight. But I was told
27:59
Speaker 1: that if I got the part, I'd have to work out,
28:01
Speaker 1: and I didn't understand why in nineteen forties nurse character
28:05
Speaker 1: would do that, which is totally fair. And Michael Bay
28:10
Speaker 1: said at the time when this movie came out, and
28:13
Speaker 1: also this is our Titanic reference of the episode on
28:16
Speaker 1: Good fortunately because it is coming out of Michael Bay's mouth,
28:19
Speaker 1: but he says, I didn't want someone who was too
28:22
Speaker 1: beautiful in reference to Kate back in Sale, who is beautiful. Uh,
28:27
Speaker 1: women feel disturbed when they see someone who's too pretty.
28:30
Speaker 1: When you look at Titanic, Kate Winslett is pretty but
28:33
Speaker 1: not overwhelmingly beautiful. That makes it work better for women.
28:37
Speaker 1: You're just like, I just want to cut off my
28:42
Speaker 1: She's insane and then furious it's bad. Here's what Megan
28:48
Speaker 1: Fox said. She first describes what you're talking about, the
28:51
Speaker 1: having to watch her car. She then says, the first
28:53
Speaker 1: time I ever met him, I was fifteen and an
28:56
Speaker 1: extra on Bad Boys Too. She said, we were doing
29:00
Speaker 1: this club scene and they brought me in and I
29:02
Speaker 1: was wearing a stars and strap bikini and a red
29:04
Speaker 1: cowboy hat and six inch heels, which amazing Bat Boys Too.
29:08
Speaker 1: And they took me to Mike Bay and he approved it,
29:11
Speaker 1: and they said, you know, Michael. She's fifteen, so you
29:13
Speaker 1: can't consider at the bar, and she can't have a
29:15
Speaker 1: drink in her hand. So his solution to this problem
29:18
Speaker 1: was then having me dancing underneath a waterfall getting soaking wet.
29:22
Speaker 1: My god, And I was in the tenth grade. And
29:25
Speaker 1: that's a microcosm of how Michael Bay's mind works. So yeah,
29:32
Speaker 1: there's a lot of stuff on him. There's like a
29:35
Speaker 1: good oral history of Michael Bay being terrible. Unfortunately it
29:39
Speaker 1: only goes up to two thousand and eleven. It is
29:42
Speaker 1: more than enough, you know how, Sometimes we're like, you're
29:45
Speaker 1: on notice. I was gonna say we should put him
29:47
Speaker 1: on bay Watch. Michael Bay name, Yeah, I like good.
30:00
Speaker 1: I like. I was just like, so what I want
30:02
Speaker 1: to see Baywatch? What? I also want to see Baywatch?
30:05
Speaker 1: But yeah, we're gonna. I was attempting to make a
30:08
Speaker 1: really great pun. It clearly went over very well, you're welcome.
30:11
Speaker 1: We're gonna go to the bag Watch. It's like to
30:17
Speaker 1: go to the Baywatch. Can't wait? Oh, I forgot about
30:19
Speaker 1: the line where um miles which is sad what Wiki's
30:23
Speaker 1: friend called Megan Fox an evil jock concubine I love,
30:28
Speaker 1: which is my new bag. That's my stripper name to
30:35
Speaker 1: this day. So yeah, women are treated generally very terribly
30:41
Speaker 1: in this scene. Um, I mean Megan Fox is one
30:44
Speaker 1: of the lead characters, but she has almost no dialogue.
30:49
Speaker 1: She has a decent amount of screen time, but most
30:51
Speaker 1: of the time she's wearing like gotta make sure your
30:54
Speaker 1: middrift is showing, like really objectified. The entire time, doesn't
30:59
Speaker 1: have a lot to contribute to the story. There is
31:01
Speaker 1: a moment where I was like, Okay, cool that this happens,
31:05
Speaker 1: doesn't redeem anything. But she saves Sam from like the
31:09
Speaker 1: little Decepticon. It's like going out. This is like right
31:12
Speaker 1: the scene right after Bumblebee his yellow Camaro transforms and
31:16
Speaker 1: starts battling another like a Decepticon, and there's like a
31:19
Speaker 1: little Decepticon that's like attacking Sam and she like takes
31:23
Speaker 1: this saw tool and like kind of hacks away. So
31:26
Speaker 1: like she saves him. Okay, great, we get this little
31:29
Speaker 1: role reversal of that. And then towards the end she
31:33
Speaker 1: has a moment that sort of contributes to this story
31:37
Speaker 1: kind of where she hooks Bumblebee up to a tow
31:40
Speaker 1: truck and she's like, I'll drive you shoot and it
31:43
Speaker 1: lasts for maybe thirty seconds and that's it. But even
31:48
Speaker 1: that scene I remember because at the beginning of that scene,
31:50
Speaker 1: there's just like a minute of her like open mouth
31:53
Speaker 1: breathing on like close upshot of her breathing onto the
31:56
Speaker 1: wheel right before, and I was like, what is her?
32:00
Speaker 1: She's like holding onto the we like and she's like,
32:03
Speaker 1: it's like, what's happening? And I'm like, if she fucking
32:05
Speaker 1: a transformer? And then we zoom out and then he's
32:07
Speaker 1: like being hooked up to the thing and then she's
32:10
Speaker 1: hold on panting, panting. There's an insane amount of panting.
32:17
Speaker 1: I've got a ton of quotes that people have said
32:20
Speaker 1: about Michael Bay cute up. It's just, uh, they all
32:25
Speaker 1: seem very passive, aggressive, and then some of them are
32:28
Speaker 1: so nice that it's upsetting. John turturo says he likes
32:32
Speaker 1: blowing things up. George Lucas says Michael's films are immediately identifiable.
32:41
Speaker 1: He's a tour. Well that's what Ben Affleck says. Oh no,
32:47
Speaker 1: I think Michael isn't actually an autour in the truest
32:49
Speaker 1: sense of the word. Every movie he makes reflects his
32:52
Speaker 1: personal creative vision. You may like it, you may not,
32:56
Speaker 1: but those movies are him without compromise. There's something to
32:59
Speaker 1: be said for sticking to your guns. I that's a
33:01
Speaker 1: hard disagree for me. There's something to be said for
33:04
Speaker 1: flipping a table at Michael Bay. Steven Spielberg says he
33:08
Speaker 1: has the best eye for multiple levels of pure visual adrenaline.
33:11
Speaker 1: That seems a little too nice. Michael Bay says about
33:15
Speaker 1: himself and always says, I'm like a true American. I
33:21
Speaker 1: feel he just like writes like a like a teenage boy.
33:24
Speaker 1: Like I had a screen a class in college with
33:27
Speaker 1: a guy who would all his screen players were just
33:29
Speaker 1: I don't think I don't think you'd ever made out
33:31
Speaker 1: with a girl, but it would always like have a
33:32
Speaker 1: scene where it was just like hawk girl walks down
33:34
Speaker 1: the hall, her thong is showing and it's just like
33:37
Speaker 1: she bends over the water. I fountain like every time,
33:40
Speaker 1: like everything he wrote haw to something like that and
33:43
Speaker 1: you can just imagine that his laptop is just caked
33:46
Speaker 1: in jizz just like but yeah, I feel like that's
33:49
Speaker 1: Michael Bay is like like he's influencing people to write
33:52
Speaker 1: show like your screenwriting class Utain College reminds me of
33:57
Speaker 1: my I do have a master's degree in screenwriting from Boston.
34:00
Speaker 1: I hate breaking I hate bringing it up, but you know,
34:03
Speaker 1: you leave me no choice but to mention it. So
34:06
Speaker 1: I just had to throw that out there. Oh. The
34:09
Speaker 1: other thing that I both alluded to in the Wonderful
34:11
Speaker 1: Cool paper that I wrote and in previous episodes is
34:15
Speaker 1: that there's that trope where when writers of movies don't
34:18
Speaker 1: know how to portray a woman, so they're like, I'm
34:21
Speaker 1: going to give her this one trait that makes her
34:25
Speaker 1: not like the other girls, and that's almost always to
34:27
Speaker 1: make her good at fixing cars, which is like sex car, Laney,
34:33
Speaker 1: our car is like an extension, like are they sort
34:35
Speaker 1: of like an allegory to guy's dicks? Is that a thing?
34:38
Speaker 1: Like you know how guys want the cars? So it's like,
34:40
Speaker 1: if you're working on a car, you're like good with dicks.
34:42
Speaker 1: Like She's like, I'm fine touching you can make your
34:49
Speaker 1: car go. Well, there's a there's a line where she says,
34:52
Speaker 1: guys hate it when you know more about cars than
34:55
Speaker 1: they do, and then Shaia says, actually, I don't mind
34:59
Speaker 1: it at all. I want to se I prefer which
35:03
Speaker 1: um as maybe the most progressive moment in this movie,
35:08
Speaker 1: and that's it, But I mean Jesus Christ. The other
35:15
Speaker 1: main female character, Maggie, who's like the signals analyst, who
35:20
Speaker 1: like really doesn't end up doing anything because then she
35:22
Speaker 1: has to go to Anthony Anderson, who's like the best
35:25
Speaker 1: hacker in the world character. Why don't they just make
35:29
Speaker 1: her right? Question? It would be great because she needs
35:33
Speaker 1: help from her team. As a no, she walked in. Well,
35:37
Speaker 1: she had help her team, so yeah, that was god disappointing.
35:42
Speaker 1: But she is technically a woman in STEM. I would
35:46
Speaker 1: argue she is. She's a long suffering woman's Australian woman
35:52
Speaker 1: in STEM. God forbid, there's woman she's like, Halla, I
35:58
Speaker 1: I'm a woman stamp, she's a one in stand. But
36:02
Speaker 1: I mean, like, god forbid, there'd be a woman on
36:04
Speaker 1: screen who's not like a ten Like. Yeah, there's also
36:08
Speaker 1: the I was in saying, well, she's also hot. But
36:09
Speaker 1: there's the wife of the oh Josh, yeah, yeah, the
36:13
Speaker 1: military and she does have a daughter, so there's a
36:18
Speaker 1: scene with two women, but they do talk about how
36:20
Speaker 1: he's gone, So I guess it's a man, but it
36:23
Speaker 1: would have to be her. Yeah, maybe it would have
36:26
Speaker 1: to say something back that baby is not of an
36:29
Speaker 1: age where I have another Michael Bay anecdote interruption by
36:36
Speaker 1: Michael Bay got Ben Affleck a new set of teeth
36:41
Speaker 1: because he thought Ben Affleck's teeth were too small. He
36:49
Speaker 1: got him a new set of teeth. Him and Jerry Bruckheimer.
36:53
Speaker 1: It was a joint effort to get affle like those
36:56
Speaker 1: new teeth. Per Michael Bay, Jerry had a problem with
36:59
Speaker 1: bench teeth. Quote, he's got baby teeth. We're going to
37:04
Speaker 1: fix his teeth. So Ben got a beautiful set of teeth.
37:07
Speaker 1: Out of that film. That reminds me of the scene
37:10
Speaker 1: where there's a small child and like all the transformers
37:13
Speaker 1: are starting to come to earth and she wakes up
37:16
Speaker 1: and she's like, that must be the tooth Fairy. So
37:18
Speaker 1: she gets her little tooth in her little tooth bag
37:20
Speaker 1: and comes out and there's a giant robot and she's like,
37:24
Speaker 1: and what is maybe the worst example of child acting
37:27
Speaker 1: I've ever seen in my life? She's like, are you
37:30
Speaker 1: the tooth Fairy? It's because Michael Bay had a knife
37:33
Speaker 1: to pointed at her the whole time. Leave her alone.
37:38
Speaker 1: Haley Joel Osmond had aged out of that role. He
37:41
Speaker 1: wasn't available. He was like, twenty, are any of the
37:48
Speaker 1: robots woman? They all have do they have genders? They're
37:51
Speaker 1: all male voices seem to identify it. Yeah, this recause,
37:59
Speaker 1: I peete a p out of their dicks. There's that
38:02
Speaker 1: scene where they got lubricant leakage loop. It's upsetting. Its gross.
38:10
Speaker 1: I made a list of all the man characters versus
38:13
Speaker 1: the very very few female characters. We've got Sam what Wicky.
38:17
Speaker 1: We have the autobots, which is Optimist, Prime, Bumble Bee, Jazz, Ratchet,
38:21
Speaker 1: and Iron Hide. That we've got the main Decepticons who
38:23
Speaker 1: are named at least Megatron, Bone Crusher, I think one
38:28
Speaker 1: named Frenzy. I don't know they were, and Star Scream.
38:36
Speaker 1: I love the name Star Scream. Sam's dad, Miles, Sam's friend,
38:42
Speaker 1: the hacker Anthony Anderson. John Voight plays a Secretary of Defense.
38:47
Speaker 1: John Tuturo is the head of Sector seven, and then
38:51
Speaker 1: the various Air Force guys Josh how do you say
38:54
Speaker 1: his last name? Him? And Tyrese Gibson Um, who looks
39:01
Speaker 1: great and he does look he's a very attractive man.
39:05
Speaker 1: Um sweat on Tyrese Gibson. There were no women of
39:09
Speaker 1: color that I noticed, except for very tertiary characters like
39:13
Speaker 1: Anthony Anderson's grandmother and Bernie Max's mother, who are right, yeah, yeah,
39:19
Speaker 1: seen in the background and are portraying a raise this way. Yes,
39:25
Speaker 1: you know, not surprising. I do have my list of
39:32
Speaker 1: all of the things I hate about this movie. If
39:35
Speaker 1: you will indulge me, please, I've already mentioned if you
39:39
Speaker 1: why we're here. Okay, I'll read this as quickly as possible.
39:44
Speaker 1: The opening line before time began, there was the cube.
39:49
Speaker 1: That's a good four play lines. Also, there's a many
39:55
Speaker 1: was there's a bunch of different mentions where optimist Prime
39:59
Speaker 1: is like, if this doesn't go well, push the cube
40:02
Speaker 1: into my chest, which is how I initiate sex. But
40:07
Speaker 1: just throwing that out there, and then push your cube
40:11
Speaker 1: into my yeah, all you wear my vagina, dicked men
40:16
Speaker 1: out there, put it into my chest vagina. Than we
40:21
Speaker 1: already talked about all the racist stuff. The scene where
40:24
Speaker 1: for no reason a character says, remember weekends the sacks
40:28
Speaker 1: at Finway, hot dog and a cold beer, because he's
40:31
Speaker 1: I guess from Boston, true America. I get I get it,
40:34
Speaker 1: I get it. There should just said don't get donuts
40:39
Speaker 1: because it contrast the Spanish guy who's also American. He's
40:42
Speaker 1: in the fucking military, right, speaking like, Oh, I love
40:44
Speaker 1: what my mom cooks this stuff? Yeah, alligators and crickets.
40:47
Speaker 1: He's like, Uh, There's at least ten seconds dedicated to
40:57
Speaker 1: Josh Domel talking about how hot his baby is. He's like,
41:01
Speaker 1: such a good looking kid. Baby Michael trying to put
41:07
Speaker 1: it under a waterfall strategy. Babes like, well, we can't
41:11
Speaker 1: have this baby holding an alcoholic beverage under water. I
41:21
Speaker 1: hate Sam what Wicki's teacher in the beginning. I hate
41:24
Speaker 1: the presentation he gives where he's talking all of his
41:26
Speaker 1: grandfather's prize possessions. I hate the speech he gives to
41:29
Speaker 1: his teacher to try to convince him to give him
41:30
Speaker 1: an a. I hate all of the expository dialogue, the
41:34
Speaker 1: movie's script, Sam what Wicki's dad, Bernie Mack's character, the
41:38
Speaker 1: fact that all the glass bursts and the cars at
41:40
Speaker 1: the dealership and no one wonders why that might have happened,
41:43
Speaker 1: Sam what Wicki's mom, the cinematography, the air freshener in
41:46
Speaker 1: Sam's car that says bach any attempt a comedy that's
41:50
Speaker 1: made in the scrimp which is still relevant in two
41:53
Speaker 1: thousand seven under the waning days of Bache all the
41:59
Speaker 1: continuity errors, everything that Sam what Wicky says in the movie,
42:03
Speaker 1: the flight attendant who drops a ding dong on the
42:05
Speaker 1: floor that's supposed to be for the president and then
42:07
Speaker 1: she picks it up and eats it. Uh, there's so
42:11
Speaker 1: many individual towns the plot, so Chila bos acting Megan
42:17
Speaker 1: Fox is acting the scene where Josh Jamal is trying
42:20
Speaker 1: to place a college with the Pentagon and has to
42:22
Speaker 1: find a credit card to place the call. Every other
42:25
Speaker 1: part of that scene. The scene in Anthony Anderson's house,
42:29
Speaker 1: Sam's eBay user name and photo, The fact that no
42:31
Speaker 1: one notices a little Decepticon that's running around very conspicuously,
42:36
Speaker 1: The idea that there's an all powerful like device that
42:39
Speaker 1: can create life and planets and it's called the all Spark.
42:44
Speaker 1: It's called the Female wom Bit. The scene where the
42:50
Speaker 1: autobots are just hanging out in Sam's yard and no
42:53
Speaker 1: one notices. That's the one thing I like, which is
42:55
Speaker 1: when they're hiding in the backyard because the autobus are
42:58
Speaker 1: so cute. When they're like getting it up and let's
43:03
Speaker 1: get out of here. And I'm just squatting. I like that.
43:06
Speaker 1: That was what bothered mean about it is that Sam's
43:09
Speaker 1: parents were just like the earthquake. I guess better not
43:14
Speaker 1: look out the way like I do. Also, like whenever
43:17
Speaker 1: they go a rull up. Yeah, that that feels like
43:21
Speaker 1: the Yeah, that was fine. Oh the fact that it's
43:25
Speaker 1: never made clear why pushing the Cube into Optimist Primes
43:29
Speaker 1: chest will destroy both him and the Cube details who
43:33
Speaker 1: cares doesn't matter. The scene where Shaya La Buff and
43:37
Speaker 1: Megan Fox are basically dry humping on the hood of
43:39
Speaker 1: his car, and then the other Transformers are just they're
43:41
Speaker 1: watching kind of Yeah, they're on bubble beees. So that's
43:45
Speaker 1: he's like a So that's like a threesome, right, he's
43:47
Speaker 1: a third party. Yeah, part of IM sure his hood's
43:52
Speaker 1: getting all lubricated. Girl. I was gonna say hot, but
43:57
Speaker 1: I guess slick ism were appropriate. You slippery, You're a
44:01
Speaker 1: little slippery threesome gross No no, no, no no no,
44:05
Speaker 1: that's how that's how I shate sex to I'm like,
44:08
Speaker 1: I'm slippery table in the circle and the stupid Lincoln
44:13
Speaker 1: Park song at the end, Oh my god, I'm gonna
44:16
Speaker 1: say something about that. Too. But is there any other
44:19
Speaker 1: band to smash Mouth that could have also worked? Right?
44:23
Speaker 1: I hope the smash mont said no, too trashy. We've
44:27
Speaker 1: got some Shrek residuals were good. Oh. To be fair,
44:31
Speaker 1: though I did make I also made a list about
44:33
Speaker 1: the things that I like about the movie. They are
44:37
Speaker 1: the score. I legitimately think it's a pretty good score
44:40
Speaker 1: for an action movie. A lot of like epic music
44:43
Speaker 1: that I was able to get that time, really kind
44:45
Speaker 1: of you, and the idea that the car chooses the
44:49
Speaker 1: driver but only because it reminds me of Harry Potter.
44:54
Speaker 1: And those are the only two things on that list. Okay,
44:56
Speaker 1: but then that's not original. He's just taking that exactly. Yeah, okay,
45:00
Speaker 1: number one, Harry Potter sucks. I've read them all, I've
45:08
Speaker 1: seen them, I've gaven, I've been to the theme park.
45:11
Speaker 1: I can't, I don't. I don't like it. Let me
45:14
Speaker 1: sneak it forever. But here here are a few more
45:21
Speaker 1: fun Bake quotes I found fun. Here's a just a
45:25
Speaker 1: thought from John tur Turtle. He says, in regards to
45:29
Speaker 1: the Transformers franchise, I thought Transformers Too was good. I
45:33
Speaker 1: liked it better than Transformers one. Most people feel that way,
45:38
Speaker 1: which is amazing that he thinks most people have seen
45:41
Speaker 1: two Transformers movies. Here's one from Scarlett Johansson, who was
45:45
Speaker 1: in a movie that I vaguely remember coming out called
45:47
Speaker 1: The Island. Oh yes, I saw that in theaters. It
45:51
Speaker 1: was bad but horrible. Yeah, it had a decent premise,
45:57
Speaker 1: but of course, because Michael Bay sucks, he completely botched
46:01
Speaker 1: the execution of it really quick. Even mcg he was
46:05
Speaker 1: a bad actor, but he wasn't a good actor, and
46:09
Speaker 1: he just played like a spacey dude with no emotion.
46:12
Speaker 1: It fits like that was like his Keanu in the
46:15
Speaker 1: Matrix role, where it's like, oh, we didn't notice that
46:17
Speaker 1: he kind of sucks because this was like perfect for him.
46:20
Speaker 1: But here's what Scarlett Johansson had to say about running
46:24
Speaker 1: she had with Michael Bay. She said, I ran into
46:27
Speaker 1: him leaving a party once and asked him if I
46:29
Speaker 1: could be the easy bake oven Transformer as a joke.
46:33
Speaker 1: He looked at me in all seriousness and said, there
46:36
Speaker 1: is no easy bake up and Transformer, which testament to
46:43
Speaker 1: how seriously he takes his terrible movies and how little
46:47
Speaker 1: he understands jokes. In comedy, but he was probably like,
46:50
Speaker 1: he's a woman, she must be serious. She's too dumb
46:54
Speaker 1: to make a joke. Oh boy, I just imagined that.
46:58
Speaker 1: Like Michael bays directing style is that he goes to
47:02
Speaker 1: the actors and he's like, listen, I want you to
47:04
Speaker 1: just be screaming all of your lines in this scene.
47:08
Speaker 1: And they'll be like, I don't know that it really
47:10
Speaker 1: warrants me screaming, and he's like, no, trust me on this.
47:13
Speaker 1: Just make sure you scream all of your lines. And
47:16
Speaker 1: that is every scene in Transformer. And then he pulls
47:19
Speaker 1: out he just shows the hint of a gun he has.
47:22
Speaker 1: He's like, I think you should scream. I feel like
47:25
Speaker 1: he directs from within a giant Transformers robot. It's just
47:29
Speaker 1: like where it's like a huge intercom system like shy
47:36
Speaker 1: yell louder. Also, I could have told anyone not to
47:41
Speaker 1: give Michael Bay a job because he is one of
47:45
Speaker 1: the greatest fears of my entire life, which is an
47:48
Speaker 1: adult blonde male. Never a trust an adult blonde male.
47:53
Speaker 1: That's a rule. Yes, we can all benefit from that rule.
47:56
Speaker 1: Think of an adult blonde male who has bettered your life.
48:00
Speaker 1: It's hard there are exceptions to the rule, but it's
48:03
Speaker 1: like one and two. Yeah, new rule. Does anyone have
48:08
Speaker 1: any final thoughts about the movie? At least we spent
48:11
Speaker 1: most of the time just hating it and discussing how
48:14
Speaker 1: much we hate it. Not a ton of time dedicated
48:16
Speaker 1: to the treatment of the female characters. But I mean
48:21
Speaker 1: they didn't give us a ton of female characters to
48:24
Speaker 1: talk about. True. Yeah, yeah, how would you fix it?
48:27
Speaker 1: Is there a way to do Transformers? I mean, make
48:30
Speaker 1: sure do not direct it like having more. I mean,
48:34
Speaker 1: there's no reason why every single basically every single character
48:38
Speaker 1: needed to be a man, Like there are women in
48:40
Speaker 1: the military, there are women working in government. And is
48:44
Speaker 1: Michael Bart aware that this is true? Does we know
48:47
Speaker 1: that women are allowed in the military now and have
48:49
Speaker 1: been for a long time? I don't think so. I
48:53
Speaker 1: think that, Yeah, there's a lot of potential that they
48:56
Speaker 1: could have done with the story, like the whole idea
48:58
Speaker 1: of the all spark and you know, creating life, like
49:00
Speaker 1: you really can go so many weights like motherhood, like
49:04
Speaker 1: you know, mother nature. There's so much like feminine energy
49:07
Speaker 1: in life, and then they just were like no robots
49:10
Speaker 1: with it. Yeah, there's like, yeah, there are ways to
49:13
Speaker 1: take because you're just given. I mean, it's I guess
49:16
Speaker 1: originally it was a toy franchise pushed at boys. But
49:20
Speaker 1: there's a way to take that and do something not
49:23
Speaker 1: completely irresponsible with it. But yeah, I don't know if
49:27
Speaker 1: there's any way to make this movie fair to anyone
49:30
Speaker 1: vote white guys who are very mad with without just
49:34
Speaker 1: scrapping this whole movie. Right, But these movies are so
49:39
Speaker 1: high grossing, so many people go to see these. Did
49:42
Speaker 1: you watch the other I only watched? I think I
49:44
Speaker 1: watched is the second one when he goes to college.
49:46
Speaker 1: I watched there was like I do remember that there
49:52
Speaker 1: was like a really hot blonde girl who ended up
49:55
Speaker 1: being a robot, Rosie Hunting. And I will say, like
50:00
Speaker 1: I that was maybe early Teresa discovering her sexuality that scene,
50:07
Speaker 1: because I was a straight girl in high school. She
50:09
Speaker 1: was that like girl. She was well, she was like
50:14
Speaker 1: a Victoria's secret model, and she was the She was
50:17
Speaker 1: the girl who was brought in to replace Megan Fox
50:20
Speaker 1: when Megan Fox was like I and she does say
50:23
Speaker 1: several times Michael Bay is Hitler and apparently that's his
50:27
Speaker 1: line um. And then they brought in Rosie who is beautiful,
50:33
Speaker 1: and I think, I mean I saw Dark of the Moon.
50:39
Speaker 1: Is that the second one? Yeah, there's it's called Dark
50:41
Speaker 1: of the Moon, Dark of the Moon, we don't need side.
50:46
Speaker 1: And then there's also one called The Last Night, and
50:49
Speaker 1: that's the one coming out, which sounds so much like
50:52
Speaker 1: The Dark Night that it's just like, do you need
50:54
Speaker 1: to name this? It's so confusing. Why would you name
50:58
Speaker 1: something Dark of the Moon or The Last Night? It's
51:02
Speaker 1: just it's okay. Age of Extinction vaguely sounds like it
51:07
Speaker 1: could be a Jurassic Park movie. Um, but um, darker
51:12
Speaker 1: the Moon grows one billion dollars, So what the funk
51:15
Speaker 1: do we know? As did Age of Extinction? Yeah, I
51:19
Speaker 1: don't remember if I saw any of the sequels. I
51:22
Speaker 1: want to say that I saw at least the second one,
51:24
Speaker 1: but I have no memory of it. I saw the
51:27
Speaker 1: first one with Rosie Huntington quickly in it, because I
51:30
Speaker 1: also remember that white outfit she wore in the movie.
51:33
Speaker 1: I was just like, yeah, she was really cute, and
51:36
Speaker 1: but then she's because she's like an evil robot, right right,
51:38
Speaker 1: so she's like a little bit little bit not that
51:43
Speaker 1: she's treated fairly, but you know, something, something happens to her.
51:48
Speaker 1: There's a plot point that has to do with her,
51:50
Speaker 1: which is more than we can say for Megan Fox,
51:53
Speaker 1: who really just I'm glad that she like later was
51:57
Speaker 1: just like I recognized that as bullshit because she's hunting
52:00
Speaker 1: so much. Yeah, and she's like seventeen, right team when
52:04
Speaker 1: this movie is being shot, it's just like, I don't
52:06
Speaker 1: know in retros, like at the time, I remember being like, Ah,
52:09
Speaker 1: she's so dumb for being in this movie. But now
52:11
Speaker 1: and just like I feel bad for her, Like I
52:13
Speaker 1: can't like, if you're seventeen and someone's like, let me
52:16
Speaker 1: give you a million dollars to pant at me, I
52:19
Speaker 1: don't know. I don't know if you've already posed under
52:22
Speaker 1: a waterfall for the same great I don't know where
52:26
Speaker 1: you know. I felt poor Megan Fox because it seems
52:29
Speaker 1: like a promotion. Yeah, it seems like she's doing well.
52:32
Speaker 1: So let's talk about whether or not the movie passes
52:35
Speaker 1: the Bechdel tests, shall we shall? The only scene that
52:41
Speaker 1: I noticed where there are two women interacting is the
52:45
Speaker 1: scene where Megan Fox is in Sam Whitwicky's house and
52:50
Speaker 1: his mom is all like, oh my god, are you
52:52
Speaker 1: master being in here shy all about and he's like, no, no, no,
52:58
Speaker 1: And then I think his character pops up and she's
53:01
Speaker 1: like hi. She's like, I'm I'm a friend of Sam's
53:05
Speaker 1: and his mom says, you're gorgeous? Are you just the
53:08
Speaker 1: prettiest girl? Which pretty similar to the scene and Julie,
53:12
Speaker 1: where all the scene is Julie at least is very funny,
53:19
Speaker 1: where she's just like where ben Affleck's character Apparently at
53:23
Speaker 1: this point ben Affleck has his Michael Bay teeth because
53:27
Speaker 1: after a certain point, ben Affleck's teeth are huge, very
53:31
Speaker 1: big teeth. Does she just take out all his teeth?
53:35
Speaker 1: Maybe there, I'd imagine there, but his teeth I'm like, well,
53:38
Speaker 1: I guess his teeth are kind of big, and I
53:40
Speaker 1: want to go back and be like when we're his
53:41
Speaker 1: teeth small when Michael they give him his Hollywood teeth.
53:45
Speaker 1: But there's the scene in Julie where ben Affleck's like, mom,
53:49
Speaker 1: don't get any bright ideas she's gay, and then her
53:53
Speaker 1: mom's like, well that can change. You're handsome, and Jelo
53:57
Speaker 1: was like, I don't know, maybe I don't know. Yeah,
54:02
Speaker 1: but this is a very similar scene where his mom
54:04
Speaker 1: is just like, oh my god, you're so hot, You're
54:05
Speaker 1: so pretty engorgeous, and Megan Fox is like thank you,
54:09
Speaker 1: and then his mom's like, sorry, you had to hear
54:10
Speaker 1: our little family discussion and that's the conversation. So I
54:17
Speaker 1: totally don't they have to have no men present for
54:20
Speaker 1: to pass or is it just to think it just
54:22
Speaker 1: needs to be two women talking and their conversation has
54:25
Speaker 1: to not be about a man. There's no way that
54:28
Speaker 1: I'm going to give this scene the benefit of the
54:31
Speaker 1: death that doesn't about Sam but if you, I mean,
54:34
Speaker 1: he's in the room number one and which isn't technically,
54:39
Speaker 1: but like I feel like it may as well be
54:41
Speaker 1: not allowed for a man to be there and they're not. Again,
54:45
Speaker 1: I feel like we've I forget what movie we came
54:47
Speaker 1: up against a similar problem where it's like I think
54:50
Speaker 1: it's Pirates of the Caribbean, where it's like they are
54:52
Speaker 1: indirectly talking about a man, but they are not. They
54:55
Speaker 1: never use a man's name or heat or like use
54:57
Speaker 1: the pronouns or anything. But it's like I feel like
55:00
Speaker 1: conversation is indirectly about like, oh, sorry, you thought I
55:03
Speaker 1: was talking about my son jerking out, Like it just
55:08
Speaker 1: that it's definitely like a sexually charged right, it's like
55:12
Speaker 1: sexually charged, but like a hetero and hetero blockbuster sexually
55:17
Speaker 1: Like if they were that would be fucked up. If
55:20
Speaker 1: they were like, hey, we should hook up Mega Fox
55:23
Speaker 1: and Sam's mom because that's an age problem, but that
55:29
Speaker 1: would pass the test. Well, that's the other thing. The
55:32
Speaker 1: only really notable thing that either of them say to
55:36
Speaker 1: each other is his mom being like, you're so gorgeous,
55:38
Speaker 1: You're so pretty, which is essentially just objectifying her. So like,
55:42
Speaker 1: even if that somehow did pass the back to test,
55:45
Speaker 1: it's really it's like like the subtext to that is like,
55:48
Speaker 1: you should suck my son exactly right. Yeah, I'm gonna say,
55:53
Speaker 1: based on what we know about the movie and Sam's character,
55:58
Speaker 1: she's like, I want my son to have a little
55:59
Speaker 1: girl friend. And oh, you're a good candidate. You're hot,
56:02
Speaker 1: you look how cute. I'm so impressed that my son
56:05
Speaker 1: had you in his bedroom. Like, have you ever had
56:07
Speaker 1: an exchange like that with with someone's parents where they're
56:11
Speaker 1: indirectly like you want my kids? Like, there is no
56:15
Speaker 1: I had. I had an exchange like that in high school. Yeah,
56:19
Speaker 1: with my saxophone boyfriend. His old dad came in one
56:24
Speaker 1: night to you know, we were like teenagers and like
56:28
Speaker 1: hanging out. We're watching this Zach Gelfanak is special on
56:32
Speaker 1: his very old laptop in two thousand and eight. But
56:35
Speaker 1: his dad came into the room and he was just like, hey, kids,
56:38
Speaker 1: what's going on? And we're like nothing, We're watching TV.
56:42
Speaker 1: And he was just like, hey Jamie, because he was
56:45
Speaker 1: like A, I don't know what he did, but he
56:47
Speaker 1: worked at like concerts, and he's like, hey, Jamie, do
56:49
Speaker 1: you know why they call the band Pearl jam And
56:52
Speaker 1: I was like no. He's like think about it. And
56:55
Speaker 1: then I thought about it and I was like, oh, come,
57:00
Speaker 1: program is come. I didn't realize that. And then and
57:04
Speaker 1: then he threw us paper towels and said have a
57:07
Speaker 1: great night. Whoa. So he was just like in a
57:11
Speaker 1: weird series of comments, was just like everything about come,
57:16
Speaker 1: here are some things to clean up, come with gotta go,
57:19
Speaker 1: and then just like shut the door. I was like
57:21
Speaker 1: I want to go home, like everyone wanted to go home.
57:25
Speaker 1: It was the least sexually charged moment of my entire life,
57:29
Speaker 1: although that is also how I initiate sex. I say,
57:32
Speaker 1: put your cube in my chest. Everything about what program
57:38
Speaker 1: really means. There's paper towels while you figure it out.
57:44
Speaker 1: So gross. Yeah that's bizarre. Yeah man, anyways, cool, should
57:49
Speaker 1: we write the movie? Hey, let's do it. Wait, so
57:51
Speaker 1: we just we determined that this does not pass the test.
57:54
Speaker 1: I'm not willing to give it a path. Yeah, I mean,
57:58
Speaker 1: if we're going by this super super super for super
58:00
Speaker 1: technical rules. But even then, I just know there's no
58:05
Speaker 1: way that we could say, well, technically, Transformers like passes
58:08
Speaker 1: the Victal test, Like no, no. Uh, So we write
58:12
Speaker 1: the movie on our nipple scale, uh, zero to five
58:15
Speaker 1: nipples based on its portrayal of women. I'm gonna give
58:18
Speaker 1: it a half nipple. Interesting. I mean, what very very
58:24
Speaker 1: little any of the female characters do contribute to the
58:27
Speaker 1: story is usually undermined by the male characters or it
58:33
Speaker 1: doesn't like bear any significance on the overall story. And yeah,
58:38
Speaker 1: like I get that Sam is the protagonist, so like
58:41
Speaker 1: most of his decisions are gonna but then there's just
58:44
Speaker 1: there no women do anything. There's just hardly any female
58:47
Speaker 1: characters contributing anything to the story, and when they are
58:50
Speaker 1: on screen, they're often especially Megan Fox's character is just
58:54
Speaker 1: heavily objectified. So yeah, half nipple. I think it treats
58:58
Speaker 1: women horribly, and I think it's a terrible movie. What's
59:01
Speaker 1: the highest nipple you've given out? We've even think Moanna
59:07
Speaker 1: definitely nipples? What else was there? Elm and Louise and
59:11
Speaker 1: Louise got five nipples there. I think the only ones
59:13
Speaker 1: that we've given like five across the board have been
59:16
Speaker 1: to Mowanna and Elma Louise. It's great. I was just curious.
59:21
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, I think i'd have to give it. Well,
59:23
Speaker 1: I'm gonna give it one nipple because I agree that
59:27
Speaker 1: women are treated horribly, but I also think the men
59:29
Speaker 1: look bad in this movie. I mean, there's except with
59:34
Speaker 1: the exception of Tyres except. And also I love Optimist,
59:40
Speaker 1: so he gets that nipple. Yeah, to be fair, there
59:42
Speaker 1: are no redeemable characters in this movie. Even Sam what
59:46
Speaker 1: Wicki is the most insufferable character I've ever seen on screen.
59:49
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm sorry, we're supposed to identify with this guy.
59:52
Speaker 1: His last name sounds like a DJ scratch. I think
59:56
Speaker 1: about it, like, I do love Robot a lot. I
1:00:00
Speaker 1: really like when the robots take over, I'm joining them,
1:00:03
Speaker 1: so I mean the robots so much, and that's why
1:00:08
Speaker 1: I give it nip. Yeah. I love sci fi like
1:00:10
Speaker 1: I love a good sci fi action movie, but this
1:00:13
Speaker 1: movie just like missed the mark on opportunity. Um, I
1:00:17
Speaker 1: give it. I give it no nipples. However, I would
1:00:20
Speaker 1: like to very clearly stay at what these nipples look
1:00:23
Speaker 1: like John Trull John Turtruo. So first he's got a
1:00:28
Speaker 1: half nipple on the right side, and it's like, oh,
1:00:30
Speaker 1: he's got as kind of a small nipple because there
1:00:32
Speaker 1: are women in the movie, right, But then his left
1:00:37
Speaker 1: nipple is inverted about halfway. Yeah, it's kind of like
1:00:44
Speaker 1: this very unsavory, very dry vagina nipple that he has
1:00:49
Speaker 1: on the left side, so it evens out to zero,
1:00:51
Speaker 1: but it's technically once tiny pokey nipple because there's women
1:00:56
Speaker 1: in the movie, and then an inverted nipple because of
1:00:59
Speaker 1: everything else. I love it, right, So a negative nipple,
1:01:02
Speaker 1: and then it goes out to if you put, okay
1:01:08
Speaker 1: in theory, if you put John t turles right nipple
1:01:15
Speaker 1: into his left nipple, it would be like there were
1:01:19
Speaker 1: not I mean, I'll illustrate this reminding me of my
1:01:24
Speaker 1: chest vagina. So I get it. I already get they
1:01:27
Speaker 1: ca tube the nipple. So yeah, that's been our great
1:01:33
Speaker 1: discussion about the movie Transformer. See the sequel or don't.
1:01:40
Speaker 1: It'll make a billion dollars no matter what you do. Man, Teresa,
1:01:44
Speaker 1: thank you so much to be here. Where can we
1:01:47
Speaker 1: find you online? How can people follow? You can find
1:01:49
Speaker 1: me on the Twitter, Theresa t wonderful cool. You can
1:01:55
Speaker 1: follow me at ladies man two one seven. You can
1:02:00
Speaker 1: find me on eBay or driving around. Was gonna say
1:02:05
Speaker 1: Ferbie truck, I'm in my Frbite round. I'm mostly cruising
1:02:08
Speaker 1: around my Ferbie truck, just like look for a pus
1:02:12
Speaker 1: my furbie truck. Um. But you can find us on Instagram.
1:02:18
Speaker 1: Caitlin has been managing or Instagram like a champion. Thank you,
1:02:23
Speaker 1: yeah of course. Um. Happy birthday to Caitlin birthday, thank
1:02:26
Speaker 1: you retroactively as a gift to her, please do not
1:02:29
Speaker 1: see the new Transformers. You can find me at Hamburger Phone,
1:02:34
Speaker 1: you can find me at Caitlin Durante and you can
1:02:36
Speaker 1: go to my website Caitlin Dronte dot com. And uh yeah,
1:02:40
Speaker 1: thanks for tuning in autobots rollout. Bye,