Latest / Curiously Guided Podcast / Ep.30 | Stop Forcing Your Business to Meet All of Your Needs

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Ep.30 | Stop Forcing Your Business to Meet All of Your Needs · Curiously Guided Podcast

0:07
SPEAKER_02: Okay, welcome back to the Curiously Guided Podcast, The Place for Intuitive Business Owners.
0:12
SPEAKER_02: We're your hosts, Shay Mariah, and today we're talking about one of the key shifts that Mariah and I have made in our own business that we've found really transformational.
0:24
SPEAKER_02: And it's the idea that your business does not need to meet all of your needs.
0:42
SPEAKER_02: And this was idea number 10.
0:44
SPEAKER_02: And honestly, it was so big that we decided to make it its own episode.
0:50
SPEAKER_02: So this concept, I think, you know, one theme that we hit on a lot in our episodes is be aware of just like the hype in the online business world, especially on social media.
1:02
SPEAKER_02: You know, everybody's out there kind of showing their highlight reel of what it's like.
1:08
SPEAKER_01: Hype marketing is like a real thing.
1:10
SPEAKER_01: Everybody's like, oh, it's hype marketing.
1:11
SPEAKER_01: I was like, why are we giving this a name?
1:13
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, it's real.
1:15
SPEAKER_02: And it can give you this false impression that when we run with all of us that are going into the online business world, um, it's easy to believe that you see people killing it in their business and they seem so happy and so fulfilled, and they're really living their life purpose.
1:34
SPEAKER_02: And we're kind of sold this story of like, follow your dreams and follow your passion.
1:40
SPEAKER_02: And your business can be this vehicle to like really fulfill you in every single way, you know.
1:45
SPEAKER_02: Not only does it need to pay your bills, but it also needs to make an impact on the planet, and it needs to build your community, and it needs to um, you know, be your source of play and fun, and it needs to be how you get creatively fulfilled and your spiritual fulfillment, even, you know.
2:02
SPEAKER_02: And so for me, um, I think all of us could like pick and choose.
2:06
SPEAKER_02: I maybe have done a little bit of all of that and tried to seek, you know, we all have those kind of like holes to fill in our life, or if you think about like a cup that needs to be filled and replenished, we have these like foundational things that uh just lead to a good, healthy, well-rounded, holistic life.
2:24
SPEAKER_02: And so um, you know, one idea that Mariah and I kept coming back to when we were planning this episode was um, you know, if any of you have done any life coaching work before, you may have done an exercise called the wheel of life.
2:38
SPEAKER_02: And if me mentioning that makes you roll your eyes, don't worry.
2:41
SPEAKER_02: It also made Mariah and I roll our eyes.
2:44
SPEAKER_02: It's one of those like really foundational activities that may seem a little simple, but the idea is that, you know, if you think about your life as a pie and there's all these individual pie pieces, what are the foundational things that you what what do you want your slices to be?
2:59
SPEAKER_02: You know, where do you want to focus your intention and your priorities in this lifetime?
3:05
SPEAKER_02: And you know, so for me, if you just Google Wheel of Life, you can get a bunch of different ideas for like what your pie pieces could be.
3:12
SPEAKER_02: For me, this kind of looks like, you know, my priorities are my health, both mental and physical, um, making space for creativity, making space for spirituality, having time for my relationships, both friends and family, and obviously my um husband, um, making time for play and hobbies and just like true, like open space where I can, you know, just have fun.
3:36
SPEAKER_02: That, you know, a lot of us as adults don't make space for that.
3:39
SPEAKER_02: But as we've brought up on the episode several times now, how important that is.
3:43
SPEAKER_02: Um, also wealth, you know, like how am I earning money?
3:47
SPEAKER_02: That's something I've got to prioritize, I've got to spend some focus.
3:51
SPEAKER_02: My physical environment.
3:52
SPEAKER_02: So, you know, like not only my house and like keeping my space around me really nice, but also I can extend that to like my natural environment that surrounds me.
4:02
SPEAKER_02: Um, and then I added rest as one of my pie pieces, like making space for true, lazy, whatever I needed to be rest.
4:11
SPEAKER_02: And so um I have those were my pie pieces.
4:14
SPEAKER_02: I'd really encourage you to just like go through and identify what are the like foundational elements of your life as like a first step in this work, because what I realized by doing this the first time was, oh wow, I'm expecting my business to meet a lot of my needs.
4:31
SPEAKER_02: And that's really an unrealistic expectation.
4:34
SPEAKER_02: And it's kind of something unique to the online business world.
4:37
SPEAKER_02: You know, when you're getting out of college and getting a job, you don't expect that job to like, you know, be spiritually fulfilling and save the planet and you meet all your friends through that way.
4:48
SPEAKER_02: You know, you kind of just expect it to pay the bills, and then you expect to have some free time and some free bandwidth to focus on these other things, right?
4:56
SPEAKER_02: And so that's why I think that the wheel of life is a cool exercise for this topic.
5:02
SPEAKER_02: And um, if you haven't heard of it, Google it, take some time.
5:05
SPEAKER_02: What are your pie pieces?
5:06
SPEAKER_02: And then we'll go from there.
5:08
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's funny because when we started talking about the wheel of life, I was just like, oh, I thought this shit was so lame.
5:15
SPEAKER_01: Like I remember when I was like trying to shoehorn uh adding a new service into my business, and I was like, oh, I need to learn about like some life coaching skills and blah, blah, blah.
5:24
SPEAKER_01: So I went to Udemy, bought some course about like how to be a transformational coach.
5:30
SPEAKER_01: And then it basically the course is basically walking me through like how to do a wheel of life thing, like with a client.
5:37
SPEAKER_01: And like at first, as with a lot of things in my life, my initial reaction, if I don't jive with it right away, is like disgust.
5:46
SPEAKER_01: And I'm just like, ugh, this is so annoying.
5:48
SPEAKER_01: Like, how nerdy I don't want this.
5:50
SPEAKER_01: And then it's hilarious because as with everything, as I allow myself to sit with it and kind of open my mind to it, I'm like, oh, this is actually quite helpful.
6:00
SPEAKER_01: And like what a beautiful way to help us see like what we're craving more of.
6:08
SPEAKER_01: Because I think what looking at the wheel of life, what it really struck home for me was that like we're never going to be fully balanced.
6:19
SPEAKER_01: Like, we are never going to be able to focus on, like, let's let's just use like the general wheel of life.
6:24
SPEAKER_01: There's eight different pieces, and I'll just run through the eight of them that I found uh that I'm looking at right now.
6:31
SPEAKER_01: So, like the first one is career and business, then family and friends, which is community, finances, romance and intimacy, health and self-care, social and fun, personal and spiritual development, and then physical environment.
6:47
SPEAKER_01: So, like your home, your office, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
6:50
SPEAKER_01: So it's it would be an unrealistic expectation to assume that we are going to get a 10 out of 10 in every single section in life all the time.
7:00
SPEAKER_01: Like it's just that's not how it works.
7:02
SPEAKER_01: We have to prioritize, depending on, you know, we talk about quite often like which season in life you're in.
7:08
SPEAKER_01: You have to prioritize.
7:10
SPEAKER_01: Like maybe in this season of life, you got some shit going on and you really have to focus on your health and your self-care.
7:15
SPEAKER_01: So maybe that takes away some time that you're spending with family and friends.
7:19
SPEAKER_01: And like, I think just being aware of that.
7:21
SPEAKER_01: And I think that's why the wheel of life is helpful as a as a tool to help you reflect.
7:28
SPEAKER_01: Because like I like the little buckets that like it creates.
7:31
SPEAKER_01: I think the only thing, honestly, that I would add in the one that I just named, romance and intimacy, I would add a slash and call that also self-expression because like that's how I create intimacy like with people is through communication.
7:46
SPEAKER_01: It's allowing myself to be expressed.
7:48
SPEAKER_01: That's how I feel closer to people.
7:50
SPEAKER_01: So it could be romance in terms of like, you know, me and my partner, or it could be intimacy in terms of like transparency, honesty, communication.
7:58
SPEAKER_01: Um, but I think just being able to reflect, you're able to kind of look at it and be like, oh, I think lately I haven't been spending a lot of time and like or energy focused on the physical environment.
8:09
SPEAKER_01: And I'm really creating like or craving like a more comfortable, I don't know, like well-created atmosphere that feels a little bit more high vibe than what I got going on here.
8:21
SPEAKER_01: So I think it's just a really great tool for us for us to reflect on.
8:28
SPEAKER_01: So yeah, um, I'm glad that I learned about it.
8:31
SPEAKER_01: I'm glad that we're talking about it because, like, especially with the idea of the podcast of like your business doesn't need to meet all of your needs.
8:38
SPEAKER_01: It's like the wheel of life just gives you, like, well, what do you mean, all of my needs?
8:41
SPEAKER_01: Like, what are my needs as a human?
8:43
SPEAKER_01: Like, I don't fucking know.
8:44
SPEAKER_01: Right.
8:45
SPEAKER_01: Like, that's a pretty lofty question to just toss at somebody, like, what are your needs?
8:48
SPEAKER_02: And I'm like, uh So that's why I feel like we have to go down this rabbit hole to start, because it's like, okay, the topic of this episode is your but your business doesn't need to meet all your needs.
9:00
SPEAKER_02: I think most of us are disconnected with what are our needs at all, you know, and they're all kind of like inter intertangled, tangled together and intertwined.
9:11
SPEAKER_02: And um, I think it's very helpful to like you're saying, this is one of those exercises that um Mariah and I have both revisited, you know, several times.
9:21
SPEAKER_02: Uh and it's interesting to see how it changes and how you know you're going through different seasons in your life.
9:26
SPEAKER_02: And it's just really it's a nice it sounds obvious and simple, but going through get some examples of what people use in their wheel of lives.
9:36
SPEAKER_02: Make your own.
9:37
SPEAKER_02: You get to choose what are the things that you want to prioritize and focus on in this life.
9:42
SPEAKER_02: And then let's talk about now fold in the online business owner aspect.
9:47
SPEAKER_02: So the reason that I wanted to talk about this today is I've noticed a trend with coaching clients and in my group coaching calls, and even in myself, honestly.
9:56
SPEAKER_02: Um, a lot of people I'm working with, you know, you sit down and you talk with them, and they're really, oh, my business is terrible and I'm not, you know, they're really in a shame spiral.
10:06
SPEAKER_02: They're really beating themselves up about how their business is going.
10:09
SPEAKER_02: And when you ask them questions, you know, they're getting leads, they're selling, they're delivering projects, they're having their clients are raving about them, they're really killing it.
10:20
SPEAKER_02: And so when you start to like peel back the layers, it usually gets down to okay, yeah, but I'm just doing silly work.
10:28
SPEAKER_02: I work with a lot of designers, so they'll just say, like, yeah, but I'm just like making ads, you know, I'm not what's really important to me in life is saving the planet.
10:37
SPEAKER_02: And I'm not doing anything to save the planet right now.
10:40
SPEAKER_02: I'm just like making, let's say, like grocery store ads.
10:43
SPEAKER_02: And in like, and I feel what I'm seeing online is that my business should be, you know, um killing it for the planet, you know, because that's important to me.
10:55
SPEAKER_02: And I'm following my passion.
10:57
SPEAKER_02: And if I'm having credit should.
10:59
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
10:59
SPEAKER_02: If I'm having an impact-based business, because that's my uh core value, and I want to work with impact-driven business owners, I need to be having an impact through the work that my business does.
11:09
SPEAKER_02: And I think that that can be true, um, but I don't think it necessarily has to be true.
11:16
SPEAKER_02: And so the reframe I've been offering to clients is okay, it's the here we go.
11:20
SPEAKER_02: Um, along with the wheel, I think another um key exercise is to know your core values.
11:26
SPEAKER_02: And a really simple way to do that is find Google core values lists.
11:30
SPEAKER_02: And you you'll just pull up Google images.
11:33
SPEAKER_02: People have put together lists of just like literally values that you could have, and you can just skim through that list, circle the ones that like make your heart skip a beat a little bit, get you a little excited.
11:44
SPEAKER_02: And then the ones that you circled, you can kind of rank them, you know, write out a list, rank what's number one, what's number two, what's number three.
11:52
SPEAKER_02: Um, I think knowing your go ahead.
11:54
SPEAKER_01: Oh no, I was just gonna say, and don't feel like you have to choose one because you think that you have to choose one.
11:59
SPEAKER_01: Because like when I did that one time, it was like, oh, integrity, it has to be on my values list because, like, obviously, but then I after I sat with it, I was like, integrity is such an integrated part of me that I don't need it to be on the value list because like that is me, and like authenticity covers integrity for me.
12:19
SPEAKER_01: So yeah, I just kind of wanted to make that caveat there.
12:21
SPEAKER_02: Let it evolve.
12:22
SPEAKER_02: Same with the wheel.
12:24
SPEAKER_02: Um, these things change over time.
12:26
SPEAKER_02: I've done the same as Mariah, where I've kind of like grouped things together, or maybe I thought of a different word that said it better.
12:31
SPEAKER_02: But just being aware of like what are the things in this life that light your fire is important.
12:37
SPEAKER_02: So, you know, um, what I've noticed is that clients they're feeling bummed because, like, yeah, the business is working, but it's not really making the impact that they want to make in this world.
12:48
SPEAKER_02: So, where we'll start with is what is that?
12:50
SPEAKER_02: What are your core values?
12:51
SPEAKER_02: What feels like impact to you?
12:54
SPEAKER_02: And then from there, let's say impact is protecting the natural environment from global warming.
13:00
SPEAKER_02: Okay, well, from there, what are all the ways that we could protect the environment?
13:05
SPEAKER_02: You know, yes, you you could only work with clients who want to protect the environment and make that part of their mission.
13:13
SPEAKER_02: And, you know, that and that would be a cool, like kind of brand position to build.
13:17
SPEAKER_02: That would certainly be a way to do it.
13:19
SPEAKER_02: But you could also find some kind of gig where you work like 15 to 20 hours a week.
13:26
SPEAKER_02: It feels really easy.
13:27
SPEAKER_02: Maybe grocery store ads, you can pump them out and like you can get it done real quick.
13:31
SPEAKER_02: And then you have, then you have your base needs met, you know, your financial needs are met, you have shelter, you have food.
13:37
SPEAKER_02: And now all of a sudden you have all this bandwidth, both mental and in time, to then maybe go volunteer in an organization that you think is doing really cool work, or start something of your own, or do whatever kind of work would also make an impact on the environment.
13:54
SPEAKER_02: Invent something, pitch an idea, get a new business started.
13:57
SPEAKER_02: There could be a million ways to make an impact on the environment.
14:00
SPEAKER_02: And I think one like fallacy that I fell into, I got in this business, I wanted to be an impact-driven business, I could only work with impact-driven businesses, blah, blah, blah.
14:09
SPEAKER_02: And ended up, I just felt like a failure all the time.
14:13
SPEAKER_02: Like, because I wasn't, there was like this um almost like invisible benchmark.
14:20
SPEAKER_02: Like I was like, Oh, I'm not being impactful enough, I'm not making a big enough impact, I'm not doing this.
14:26
SPEAKER_02: And I was just beating myself up all the time.
14:28
SPEAKER_02: And really, there's always 10 ways to skin the cat.
14:31
SPEAKER_02: And I think just remembering that, like all of your friends that have jobs, they do not expect that job to like also save the world.
14:39
SPEAKER_02: And um, maybe they're saving their own the world in their own way, you know, on in their free time and whatever space they have.
14:46
SPEAKER_02: In my mind, the idea of like free mental bandwidth and time is the biggest luxury we could have.
14:51
SPEAKER_02: So, like, what if you could just get something?
14:54
SPEAKER_02: Maybe your agency just we have our bread and butter clients, we focus on them, we get them done, and it frees up all this white space.
15:02
SPEAKER_02: And so I just want to encourage people that like this narrative of you need your a lot of us like that, are kind of like, I think Mariah, um, like tiptoeing into the spirituality world.
15:13
SPEAKER_02: You can also get this sense that, like, in my business, I need to like have my spiritual fulfillment through my business and my growth all comes through my feel attack.
15:22
SPEAKER_02: Like, you know, seriously, it's all it's like it.
15:24
SPEAKER_02: I'm thinking about each one of these different sections for me, like my creativity.
15:30
SPEAKER_02: I started a whole business because I wanted to be, I wanted to earn money off my creativity.
15:34
SPEAKER_02: That was one way to do it, but I could have just also like gotten a really simple job and then like left free space to have true creative freedom and not have to tie money with it because there's certainly been trade-offs with that, right?
15:45
SPEAKER_02: So, like I would say, like when I this was probably the biggest mistake I made was just feeling like when I in the online business world, it is infinite possibility, and you really could have a business that saves the world and makes you rich and does and and and but I think we often can get ourselves into some shame spirals when we're kind of caught up in the hype of all of that.
16:05
SPEAKER_02: And it's nice to kind of bring it back to like, no, I get to set my priorities in this life, I get to determine how I spend my free time and my bandwidth and what's important to me, you know.
16:16
SPEAKER_02: And so I think that's just kind of like really empowering.
16:18
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, I agree.
16:20
SPEAKER_01: And what's interesting as I'm looking at like this visual representation of the wheel of life that I have up is that career and business are a separate pie piece to finances.
16:32
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
16:32
SPEAKER_01: I think that that is super interesting because I also have had clients and honestly, like friends that have been beating themselves up because like they're not making the money that they want to make.
16:45
SPEAKER_01: And they assume that like the thing, the service that they're passionate about should be making them all of this money.
16:54
SPEAKER_01: And so they're putting a lot of pressure on well, maybe this passion isn't good enough.
16:59
SPEAKER_01: Maybe I'm not meant to bring this to the world, maybe blah, blah, blah, like adding all of this stress to it.
17:05
SPEAKER_01: But it's like maybe you're meant to have something right now as a bread and butter to help you have that safety, that financial stability.
17:14
SPEAKER_01: Maybe it's not going to be your forever thing that like you're gonna focus on to make money, but like that bread and butter thing that's making you money that you're being known for, that's going to give you the space and the freedom to be able to explore the passion, to be able to explore the other services, the other ways to be in service to the people that you all ultimately want to impact here.
17:39
SPEAKER_01: And you know what's funny?
17:40
SPEAKER_01: I have deja vu that I was just saying all of that.
17:42
SPEAKER_01: So, like in a dream somewhere, we've already said all of this in an alternate universe, but it it's just so important because like I just went through this myself a couple months ago.
17:54
SPEAKER_01: Or, well, it's been it's been a consistent thing over the past two years.
17:57
SPEAKER_01: But like, so if if we see this as kind of like a pendulum, right?
18:01
SPEAKER_01: And I've talked about this before, where I was so focused on the strategy that I had to swing to the other side and focus all the way on the intuitive aspect of business.
18:10
SPEAKER_01: And I found myself shaming myself of like, or forcing myself to be like, oh, well, I do card pulls every day with like my fucking my tarot cards and my Oracle cards.
18:20
SPEAKER_01: Like, I have to bring that into my business.
18:22
SPEAKER_01: My business has to be an example of all of me.
18:25
SPEAKER_01: And people have to know that I don't just focus on SEO, I have another intuitive part of me.
18:30
SPEAKER_01: And like I need to start working with like business coaching in the intuitive.
18:35
SPEAKER_01: Maybe I'm going into life coaching, maybe I'm blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
18:38
SPEAKER_01: And I was getting so ahead of myself and putting so much pressure on myself to shoehorn it, to focus on it, to completely change my business and run away from my bread and butter, which if I'm being completely transparent about, I fucking love SEO.
18:53
SPEAKER_01: It, I could talk about this shit for so long.
18:56
SPEAKER_01: And honestly, I think it's because like I feel so comfortable here and I've tested and tweaked so many things that it's like I have so much knowledge in my brain that I have to share it with people.
19:06
SPEAKER_01: But it's like I was forcing myself to be like, no, this is not how I'm meant to serve the planet and to serve the people that I'm meant to serve moving forward.
19:15
SPEAKER_01: I need to bring in the intuitive part, the spiritual part.
19:19
SPEAKER_01: I have to start calling myself a spiritual marketing consultant.
19:23
SPEAKER_01: And it's like, who the fuck said that?
19:27
SPEAKER_01: Why?
19:28
SPEAKER_01: Why does my business also need to include these things?
19:30
SPEAKER_01: And honestly, I do think looking into the future, I will be able to bring all of these pieces in in a way that feels good for me.
19:40
SPEAKER_01: But the issue was that I was forcing it.
19:43
SPEAKER_01: I was putting pressure to figure out a problem or find a solution for a problem that was never a problem.
19:50
SPEAKER_01: Like I'm not meant to figure that out right now.
19:52
SPEAKER_01: So what if I stopped white knuckling everything and allowed myself to flow with it and to follow the curiosity, you know, like walking the walk that we usually talk about this podcast.
20:05
SPEAKER_01: And I had to get really fucking honest with myself and like allow myself to flow and be like, you know what?
20:11
SPEAKER_01: If I am meant to bridge both of these, if I'm meant to talk about both of these in some way, it'll just come naturally.
20:18
SPEAKER_01: People are gonna come to me and ask me what they need help with.
20:22
SPEAKER_01: And like that's gonna be the indication that maybe it's time to start trickling in these different things.
20:27
SPEAKER_01: But it's like there's no reason to put pressure on it, there's no reason to force it.
20:31
SPEAKER_01: You're allowed to have bread and butter that that pays your bills, that gives you that safety, that financial security, and something else that you're passionate about that maybe like you're exploring on the side or having conversations with.
20:44
SPEAKER_01: And honestly, that's why I love the podcast because like there's no other area in my business that I express my intuitive aspects, personal aspects, spiritual aspects, like uh passion, like outside of SEO.
21:02
SPEAKER_01: So having this podcast like was that other piece to the puzzle for me that I was like, oh, this checks like the other half of the boxes that I was craving.
21:10
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
21:11
SPEAKER_01: So yeah, I kind of just wanted to share that example from like my own business and like what I've gone through.
21:16
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I appreciate that.
21:17
SPEAKER_02: Um, especially, you know, that the idea about the podcast is such a great example because um Mariah and I have always thought about this podcast more of as like a work of art, you know, like an opportunity to express ourselves and to hold space for conversations that we think are important and we've really tried to stay detached from any kind of outcome or expectation of outcome.
21:38
SPEAKER_02: Like we are truly doing this for the joy of it.
21:40
SPEAKER_02: And because it checks boxes that weren't getting checks, or it fills pie pieces that weren't getting filled, and we kind of became aware of that.
21:49
SPEAKER_02: And you know, it it's it's interesting.
21:52
SPEAKER_02: It's it's um, this was our solution uniquely to us.
21:57
SPEAKER_02: This is how we are have decided together.
22:00
SPEAKER_02: This sounds like a really fun way to nourish ourselves.
22:03
SPEAKER_02: And um, it absolutely has been nourishing for me.
22:06
SPEAKER_02: And so I think it's cool to it doesn't have to look like a podcast for you.
22:11
SPEAKER_02: It could look like a whole bunch of different things, but it also doesn't have to look like um you get all of your needs from life met based on how your business pulls in revenue.
22:22
SPEAKER_02: And I really liked you pulling out the difference between your finances versus your career.
22:27
SPEAKER_02: And, you know, the idea that um just because we are good at something creatively or we have a hobby doesn't have to become a business.
22:35
SPEAKER_02: You know, like I think it it we're all like in the great resignation, and there's this like idea that like quit your day job and go follow your dreams.
22:44
SPEAKER_02: But it's like some people like to keep their dreams in dreamland, in pure fun land.
22:49
SPEAKER_02: And it really sucks when you have to, you know, you how you pay your bills is caught up in your creative work.
22:55
SPEAKER_02: You know, it can really kind of cut off like the the more beautiful piece there and why it was actually fulfilling to you in the first place.
23:01
SPEAKER_02: And I've noticed a lot of creatives that go into business to do their creative work get burnt out and they end up hating it and they have to kind of like step away and give a break because um it just wasn't right.
23:13
SPEAKER_02: And it may be right for some people and it may not be right for other people.
23:16
SPEAKER_02: But I I just hope this podcast is like giving you full permission of if you in what ways have you kind of gotten swept up in the allure of like, I'm in the online business space and you know, I want my business to do all these things, and not that it can't, and maybe in the future it will, but like just be aware of where you're really beating yourself up.
23:40
SPEAKER_02: The whole point is we have these unrealistic expectations for about what our business should be and how it should nourish us and how it should support us, when really your business can be any kind of thing, you can slice and dice it.
23:54
SPEAKER_02: If you literally just need someone to pay the bills, you could do that, you know.
23:57
SPEAKER_02: And there's no shame in that.
23:59
SPEAKER_02: There's no shame in that.
24:00
SPEAKER_02: There's nothing wrong with that.
24:01
SPEAKER_02: And unfortunately, I think that's the side of the story that a lot of us miss out on.
24:06
SPEAKER_02: And if we have kind of these quote unquote more boring like client loads, I've met a lot of people that are just kind of like, yeah, I'm just bored, you know, and I'm not doing what I'm here to do, and blah, blah, blah.
24:17
SPEAKER_02: And it's like, okay, well, what are your boxes and what are all the ways we could check them?
24:23
SPEAKER_02: You know, it doesn't necessarily have to look like fire all your clients and launch all new packages.
24:29
SPEAKER_02: And unfortunately, I think that is like the narrative of like throw the baby out with the bathwater and do whatever lights you up right now.
24:37
SPEAKER_02: And it doesn't have to be like that, you know.
24:40
SPEAKER_02: That that honestly kind of makes me feel a little stressed.
24:43
SPEAKER_02: I love the idea of like the bread and butter, the thing I can do easy that just comes easy, that I can like really show up for, do well, but doesn't eat up a lot of my bandwidth.
24:51
SPEAKER_02: So now for me, I'm really trying to explore spirituality and what that looks like in this phase of my life and spending time there and diving deep there.
25:00
SPEAKER_02: And and I just have an entrepreneurial mind.
25:02
SPEAKER_02: So of course, my mind always goes to how could I sell this?
25:06
SPEAKER_02: How could I turn this into a business?
25:08
SPEAKER_02: And so now I at least have the awareness of it doesn't have to be, you know, this can be just something that you do for you, Shay.
25:15
SPEAKER_02: And even it's fun that you have this entrepreneur mind, but like not everything has to be a business, and not everything has to be a way to earn money.
25:23
SPEAKER_02: And and I know this may sound obvious to people, but that is how my brain kind of works.
25:28
SPEAKER_02: And I think a lot of us entrepreneurial people, it's easy for us to see, I could make money doing this, I could make money doing this, you know.
25:34
SPEAKER_02: So I think it's nice to do these kind of like core activities, whether it's a wheel or core values, as like an anchor or um a North Star to like keep coming back to because yes, we could be earning money in a lot of different ways, but if you're not making sure your pie pieces are being nourished and filled, it's it's ultimately going to lead to burnout and unfulfillment, right?
25:58
SPEAKER_02: And so um I do want to like close out this thought by just saying, I think Mariah and I both think the idea of a fully balanced life is um not a realistic expectation.
26:11
SPEAKER_02: You will never be in true balance, like, you know, even in nature, there is no like stopping point where it's like we are at balance.
26:19
SPEAKER_02: You know, things are always in flux, things are always shifting and adjusting to each other based on what's going on.
26:25
SPEAKER_02: And in your wheel of life, you know, you're gonna have seasons that are like heavy career and business, low relationships, and then maybe you're gonna feel out of whack.
26:32
SPEAKER_02: So you're gonna have a season where you're not working enough and you're spending all your time with your friends, and that's great, and that's a life, right?
26:39
SPEAKER_02: But just kind of being aware of what is the pie and what is the balance right now, that's the empowering piece.
26:46
SPEAKER_02: But don't ever feel like we're trying to get to this idea of like a perfectly balanced life and business.
26:52
SPEAKER_02: It's not possible.
26:53
SPEAKER_02: It's not you, you're dead when things stop, right?
26:56
SPEAKER_02: Things are always going to be in flux.
26:58
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we signed up for this human experience to have a human experience.
27:02
SPEAKER_01: And I think being a human is fucking hard sometimes because like it is the roller coaster.
27:07
SPEAKER_01: But it's like in my belief, like this is what we signed up for.
27:11
SPEAKER_01: And imagine if we had all of our needs met all of the time.
27:15
SPEAKER_01: And I just think about me, I would be so bored and I'd be like, where's the adventure?
27:19
SPEAKER_01: Where's this?
27:19
SPEAKER_01: Where's that?
27:20
SPEAKER_01: So, like, I think that we signed up for this shit.
27:23
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
27:23
SPEAKER_01: And the other thing that I want to point out here is that, like, when I was going through this, like meaning, like when I was trying to bring spirituality into my business, because my business at its core was very like strategy focused and not very intuitive.
27:42
SPEAKER_01: I was shaming myself because I thought that me not bringing my spirituality or my intuitive aspect into my business was a lack of transparency.
27:53
SPEAKER_01: I thought that I was lying through my brand because I wasn't showing all of me, that I wasn't being authentically me because I wasn't sharing my card pulls, my this, or like my spiritual practices, or like what I do intuitively, or like blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
28:10
SPEAKER_01: And it's like, that is such, it's such an unhealthy way to think about it in terms of like looking at it from a shame perspective.
28:18
SPEAKER_01: Because at the end of the day, we see people on Instagram, it's like we assume that like this is all of them, right?
28:26
SPEAKER_01: Like they are showing us like every aspect of their life and like we're only seeing the highlight reel.
28:30
SPEAKER_01: And like we know that when we say that, we know that we are only seeing the highlight reel in Instagram.
28:35
SPEAKER_01: We're like, okay, yeah, we know that.
28:37
SPEAKER_01: But when we see it, it's like we subconsciously assume that we are still seeing all of that and we're not seeing the highlight reel.
28:44
SPEAKER_01: But it's like we have to be aware that we get to choose what our brand includes and what part of us get infused into this brand.
28:54
SPEAKER_01: But it's tough when you're the business owner because like your business is such, it's so close to you.
29:01
SPEAKER_01: It's an extension of you that it's like, oh, I have to showcase all of this and show people these are my hobbies.
29:07
SPEAKER_01: And everybody's like, well, you need to show more of you.
29:10
SPEAKER_01: You need to show your personality, you need to give things that that allow people to connect with you.
29:14
SPEAKER_01: And then it's like, well, fuck, now I gotta dump my entire life on social media and on my website and mention everything.
29:21
SPEAKER_01: But it's hard because we're fucking multidimensional.
29:25
SPEAKER_01: We have different aspects to us, different pieces of not only like our outgoing personality, but our inside world.
29:34
SPEAKER_01: We have these different pieces.
29:35
SPEAKER_01: And like, that's why I think people get so stressed out when it's like when they're creating a website and they're like, okay, write your story for your about page.
29:44
SPEAKER_01: And everybody's like, What?
29:45
SPEAKER_01: Like, I ran into this.
29:46
SPEAKER_01: What story?
29:47
SPEAKER_01: My entire life is a story.
29:48
SPEAKER_01: I am a complex human being with many thoughts and opinions and beliefs and and gifts and downfalls and all of that.
29:55
SPEAKER_01: How can I put that into a box to showcase all of who I am on one about page?
30:02
SPEAKER_01: And it's like it's creates fucking stress.
30:06
SPEAKER_01: And then you end up being like, Well, I'm not good enough because I can't fit all of this in a box, or it must be something wrong with me.
30:14
SPEAKER_01: Everybody else seems to have it figured out.
30:16
SPEAKER_01: I don't.
30:17
SPEAKER_01: And then you end up shitting all over yourself.
30:20
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
30:21
SPEAKER_02: There's two points in here that are really resonating with me right now.
30:24
SPEAKER_02: Number one, what's hitting home for me, I'm struggling to write an about page.
30:28
SPEAKER_02: I've really held off on like kind of quote unquote coming out with my new position as a consultant.
30:34
SPEAKER_02: I get enough referrals, I don't really have to like go too public with it.
30:37
SPEAKER_02: And I just kind of keep putting it off, you know, the idea of like updating my website and like really like getting it out there.
30:44
SPEAKER_02: And it's because I every time I sit down to do it, I get hung up on this.
30:49
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I don't know how to like express me fully.
30:53
SPEAKER_02: Like, I'm definitely having some perfectionist stuff come up around like, oh, this isn't, I'm different and I know that I people need to connect with me, and that's what's going to be my unique position.
31:02
SPEAKER_02: And I need to find these magical three sentences that somehow encapsulate me as a human perfectly.
31:09
SPEAKER_02: Like that is another unrealistic thing that I personally right now am trying to shoot for.
31:15
SPEAKER_02: So thank you for saying that.
31:16
SPEAKER_02: I really think that the idea that your business does not have to reflect you, nor could it ever reflect.
31:24
SPEAKER_02: It can't.
31:24
SPEAKER_02: It literally is impossible to reflect you as a human and your totality.
31:29
SPEAKER_02: And I love that.
31:30
SPEAKER_02: That's so important to remember.
31:32
SPEAKER_02: In the layer, the second layer is you get to choose what you share.
31:37
SPEAKER_02: And I I always actually heard Gary V, you know, I know he not everybody loves Gary V.
31:42
SPEAKER_02: I I kind of just enjoy his energy.
31:44
SPEAKER_02: I enjoy following along with him.
31:45
SPEAKER_02: But he has he said once, I'm a pretty private person, and I've really struggled with like, how do I share me and let people get to know me, but also get to protect like the part of me that is a private person, right?
31:58
SPEAKER_02: I don't have to change me.
32:00
SPEAKER_02: I don't have to change the fact that I'm a private person to be an online business owner.
32:04
SPEAKER_02: I can figure out how to make this work, right?
32:06
SPEAKER_02: And so Gary V has always said, like, you know, you guys don't really know my family.
32:10
SPEAKER_02: I don't share anything.
32:10
SPEAKER_02: I have a work life and I and I share online about my work life, and then I have a personal life and I shut down and I'm in my personal life and they're they're compartmentalized.
32:18
SPEAKER_02: And I and I loved that.
32:19
SPEAKER_02: Like he could maintain what felt private to him, but still be this huge online presence.
32:26
SPEAKER_02: And that idea blew my mind of like, I get to decide what I share.
32:30
SPEAKER_02: And now I'm realizing, you know, for this sales page, I get to decide, you know, what pieces to put in here, and it doesn't have to be perfect and it's never gonna represent me fully, and I could change it next week once I think of a new word that comes in.
32:43
SPEAKER_02: Like, what a great reminder! I just appreciate that so much because I do feel the need of like, I am this vast human that's learning all of these things, and I need you to understand all of it.
32:55
SPEAKER_02: That is so wrong and not true and complicating the matter.
32:58
SPEAKER_02: So I love that.
32:59
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and it's it's like this feeling of like I have to prove to everybody else that I am worthy.
33:05
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
33:06
SPEAKER_01: It's like this consistent need to prove that I'm the person for the job.
33:10
SPEAKER_01: I'm so multi-layered and know so many things that like I'm the person that blah blah blah and blah blah blah.
33:16
SPEAKER_01: And I also do blah, blah, blah.
33:17
SPEAKER_01: And it's like I was in this um, this copywriting course in the beginning of this year, and I think it was fucking amazing.
33:24
SPEAKER_01: It was so amazing.
33:25
SPEAKER_01: I really appreciated the mentor that kind of walked us through everything.
33:29
SPEAKER_01: She's just she's a genius.
33:31
SPEAKER_01: But I remember one of the things was like create your new like I help statement.
33:37
SPEAKER_01: I had so much trouble.
33:39
SPEAKER_01: I was like, in what direction, what area, who am I sending it to?
33:43
SPEAKER_01: What package am I offering?
33:44
SPEAKER_01: What service am I talking about?
33:46
SPEAKER_01: I don't know that I could ever have one like I help statement.
33:51
SPEAKER_01: And also, if like you really get to know me, I don't even talk like that.
33:57
SPEAKER_01: I help, blah, blah, blah, do blah, blah, blah.
33:59
SPEAKER_01: Like, I literally, if there's not fuck shit or like a curse word in there, like I don't know if it's me.
34:05
SPEAKER_01: Like trying to fit all of my passion into one or two fucking sentences almost gave me gray hair.
34:20
SPEAKER_01: And like in that copywriting course, we got access to somebody that could like take a look at like the sentence that we created and give us feedback.
34:28
SPEAKER_01: And so this girl ended up following me on Instagram.
34:31
SPEAKER_01: And so she was like taking a look at like some reels that I've done and like me just like spewing some shit.
34:36
SPEAKER_01: And she comes back and she was like, Mariah, your IHELP statement falls so flat compared to like how you actually show up.
34:44
SPEAKER_01: And she had to be like, you do not need to fit into this formula.
34:47
SPEAKER_01: And I'm just so then me, I'm just like, then why is this formula in one of the like outlined in the course and why like blah blah blah and blah blah blah.
34:55
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, Oh my God, Mariah, you are not in grade school.
34:58
SPEAKER_01: You do not need to get an A plus with the perfect formulated formula with your IHELP statement.
35:05
SPEAKER_01: That is not you.
35:06
SPEAKER_01: Stop.
35:08
SPEAKER_01: But it was just so interesting to notice how easy it is to either get caught in the box of having to prove yourself and trying to prove how good you are and how authentic you are and how unique you are in two sentences, or how easy it is to dim everything down and make yourself sound like somebody else.
35:30
SPEAKER_01: Because I'm sorry, but we have enough people out there watering down their message that we don't need more I help formulas.
35:38
SPEAKER_01: And I see it on like Instagram bios.
35:40
SPEAKER_01: I could copy and paste and probably find 400 people with the exact same I help, blah, blah, blah, do blah, blah, blah, in their Instagram bio.
35:47
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, yeah, but you're not the only, like, I don't feel you in that statement.
35:53
SPEAKER_01: And I think that that's like part of the issue here is like we're craving some way to express ourselves, but we need our business to meet all of our needs.
36:03
SPEAKER_01: So it feels unsafe for us to express ourselves when part of the needs that need to be met is like safety, self-expression, creativity, finances, business, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
36:14
SPEAKER_01: And it's like, well, yeah, then of course we're gonna water down our message because like we need to be accepted and we need to meet all of these needs in one area.
36:24
SPEAKER_02: Man, there's so much there.
36:26
SPEAKER_02: Um, one thing that really stuck out to me was uh the formula idea.
36:31
SPEAKER_02: I have a lot of clients get hung up on like, there's this formula for copywriting sentence that I want to make work.
36:38
SPEAKER_02: And they just like we spend weeks on it, hammering it to death.
36:41
SPEAKER_02: And it's this one formula, and it's like, really, it's we don't have to use that formula.
36:47
SPEAKER_02: What let's figure out what this looks like, what do we need?
36:50
SPEAKER_02: We created the formula, right?
36:51
SPEAKER_02: And it really wouldn't nowadays if you use the formula, you're sounding like everybody else, like you're saying.
36:57
SPEAKER_02: So, like the I think this is old programming of school, right?
37:01
SPEAKER_02: You know, like we all learned if you have a problem, you know, find the formula, plug in the X, Y, and Z, calculate, you get the answer.
37:08
SPEAKER_02: But unfortunately, life is just more gray.
37:10
SPEAKER_02: And we're trying to like use these old ways to solve problems and apply it to this new.
37:15
SPEAKER_02: And I think the people that are fantastic at copywriting and messaging and positioning, they are not formula-based, they are not script-based.
37:24
SPEAKER_02: They are, let me get, let me watch your reels, let me read the book, let me listen to the podcast, and let me like read the reviews, and I'm gonna find like the thing.
37:34
SPEAKER_02: I'm not caught up on it needs to look a certain way.
37:37
SPEAKER_02: I'm just gonna find like the idea.
37:39
SPEAKER_02: And I think when you can like hold it a little bit more loosely and not try to stick to a formula, that's when the powerful stuff comes in.
37:46
SPEAKER_02: But that requires a little bit of um creative thinking and trust in yourself and allow letting go of control and allowing.
37:54
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
37:55
SPEAKER_02: And again, for me, what keeps popping up is like letting go of the need to be perfect and letting go of the need that like the idea that any of this is permanent and can't change and has to sum it up perfectly right now.
38:07
SPEAKER_02: You know, it's not and I think that when you aim for B plus instead of A plus, it just makes your life a lot easier.
38:13
SPEAKER_02: I'm saying this to myself right now.
38:15
SPEAKER_02: So this episode, this was really good.
38:18
SPEAKER_02: I appreciate I appreciated this.
38:20
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and I think it's like we have to remember that the strategy, the formula, the our expectation, like all of it doesn't mean shit if our energy is not behind it.
38:35
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's the same thing with the wheel of life.
38:37
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, if you feel like you have to rebalance out your career in business because you feel like you have to, then you're not gonna get the results that you want because it's not coming naturally and you're fighting against the current.
38:51
SPEAKER_01: Because, like, what if this season of life is really for you to figure out your personal and spiritual development?
38:57
SPEAKER_01: But that isn't quote unquote like the right thing to do in business is to take a step back and to focus and to maybe take your foot off the gas pedal.
39:06
SPEAKER_01: Right.
39:06
SPEAKER_02: And it's like that was my lesson last season.
39:08
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, like it's okay to not be full throttle all the time.
39:12
SPEAKER_02: Maybe you have other stuff in life going on, and like that was very hard for me to wrap my head around because what do I see online?
39:18
SPEAKER_02: Full throttle, launch, go work for the private island, make money, you know.
39:23
SPEAKER_02: It was very hard for me to detach from that.
39:26
SPEAKER_02: And like putting my business in cruise control took me a lot because of that, that narrative.
39:31
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
39:32
SPEAKER_01: Because it's what's your goal?
39:33
SPEAKER_01: What's your you know, it's not even what's your goal.
39:36
SPEAKER_01: It's what's your income goal?
39:37
SPEAKER_01: What's your income goal?
39:38
SPEAKER_01: What's the next goal after you hit this income goal?
39:41
SPEAKER_01: How about like what's my fucking personal development goal?
39:44
SPEAKER_01: How about like how are my relationships?
39:46
SPEAKER_01: How's my mental health?
39:47
SPEAKER_02: You know, what why aren't we talking about those values?
39:50
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
39:51
SPEAKER_01: It's like it's literally always what is your income goal?
39:54
SPEAKER_01: I hit X amount.
39:56
SPEAKER_01: Now I'm going for this amount.
39:57
SPEAKER_01: And like, don't let us talking on this podcast make you feel like we fucking figured it out.
40:03
SPEAKER_01: We are literally hopping on Zoom or on Voxer, talking about this in a personal way, like right along with you guys.
40:13
SPEAKER_01: But like it's just something so interesting to have awareness around of like, where am I putting my eggs?
40:19
SPEAKER_01: And does that align with where I want to put my eggs?
40:22
SPEAKER_01: And that's kind of what I talked about in the beginning of this podcast of like why the wheel is so helpful, because it allows you to help see what you are craving more of.
40:31
SPEAKER_01: And like an example from my personal life, uh, probably like a year and a half ago, me and Andrew were getting into like some fights, and I felt like he's not listening to me, he doesn't understand me, he doesn't understand, like he's I just want to talk and he's not giving me the space.
40:47
SPEAKER_01: And then I had a coach be like, is it the conversations with Andrew, or is it the fact that you have zero place where you're allowed to express yourself because you're not expressing yourself on Instagram, you're not expressing yourself in your business, you're not journaling, like you're not doing anything to communicate and express your needs to your own self or like out loud that you're trying to make your relationship do all of this.
41:12
SPEAKER_01: And it falls into the same shit with relationships.
41:14
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, when I'm people that are like, my relationship needs to meet all of my needs.
41:18
SPEAKER_01: We need to be intimate and romantic.
41:20
SPEAKER_01: And like, I think that those are extremely important in a fucking romantic relationship.
41:24
SPEAKER_01: But it's like they expect, okay, he's got to be the answer or she, whatever, for my social, my fun, my personal development.
41:32
SPEAKER_01: We need to take these courses and go on these retreats together.
41:35
SPEAKER_01: And he needs to be my family and my friends and my entire community, and he needs to help me figure out my health and my self-care and like he needs to support my career and my business.
41:43
SPEAKER_01: It's like, holy fuck, dude.
41:45
SPEAKER_01: Literally, my brain is oozing out of my ears at the thought of Andrew thinking that I have to hit all of that for him.
41:53
SPEAKER_01: And we've had that conversation of like, bruh, I can't be everything to you.
41:58
SPEAKER_01: But like, we don't talk about that in society either.
42:01
SPEAKER_01: Romantic relationships are so romanticized, like rom-coms or like Cinderella, with like, he's just gonna sweep me off my feet, and then I never have to worry about a damn thing in my life.
42:12
SPEAKER_01: And it's like, that is so unhealthy for our mental health, for our creativity, for our expression, for our self-care.
42:21
SPEAKER_01: And like, I had to realize also in my relationship that like I can't spend all of my free time with him.
42:28
SPEAKER_01: I need time to myself.
42:30
SPEAKER_01: Just because we both have free time does not mean that it needs to be spent together.
42:34
SPEAKER_01: I have other needs that need to be met that I cannot rely on him to hit.
42:39
SPEAKER_01: It's also not his responsibility.
42:42
SPEAKER_01: And if I feel like he's not meeting a certain need that maybe he should be needing or I would like him to need, that needs to be a conversation because I also can't expect him to read my mind.
42:52
SPEAKER_01: But this has been a fucking journey for me to figure out of just like holy shit, the way that I've been taught about relationships in general is like so off to what actually creates a healthy, loving, open relationship.
43:11
SPEAKER_01: It's it's interesting to pick apart.
43:14
SPEAKER_02: Man, Mariah, you just blew the lid off the whole thing, you know.
43:17
SPEAKER_02: Though I just wrote down in my notes with like alarm bells, you know, circle, circle, circle, codependence.
43:23
SPEAKER_02: What you're talking about is codependence.
43:25
SPEAKER_02: And I'm so glad you brought it to relationships because those of us who have codependent tendencies, and what you're saying, most of most of us do, because that like is how we have Hollywood has romanticized relationships is that there's going to be this prince charming that meets your every single need.
43:41
SPEAKER_02: And so we enter into relationships and then pick apart a partner who doesn't do that.
43:46
SPEAKER_02: So that is very normal.
43:48
SPEAKER_02: And I, you know, the idea that you and your partner have to be each other's everything and can never say no to each other and always have to be there for each other and beyond and have to do everything.
44:00
SPEAKER_02: Everything and meet every need together, that that is certainly something that's been perpetuated in my family.
44:05
SPEAKER_02: And I've had those tendencies that I've worked through in my relationship.
44:09
SPEAKER_02: So it's interesting to notice oh, the idea that my business needs to meet all of my needs, that's a codependent pattern.
44:17
SPEAKER_02: And I have that in other places in my life.
44:19
SPEAKER_02: And so, in me healing one, like Monique talked about healing one branch or you know, one area has effects on the rest.
44:26
SPEAKER_02: And so it's cool to think about that because those are muscles I've been working on building.
44:32
SPEAKER_02: And I've not noticed really how that trickles over into my business, but certainly it does.
44:37
SPEAKER_02: So thank you for wrapping that all together.
44:39
SPEAKER_02: I think that's genius.
44:40
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
44:41
SPEAKER_01: It's just I'm like looking at this wheel and I'm just like, how often do we do this?
44:46
SPEAKER_01: It's the same thing with like friendships.
44:48
SPEAKER_01: Like the term best friend has always been an issue for me because it's like I have different relationships with different people.
44:56
SPEAKER_01: I don't have just like one end-all be-all best friend.
45:00
SPEAKER_01: And honestly, growing up, like I had a lot of shame around that.
45:03
SPEAKER_01: I was like, I don't have one best friend that I literally like call to do everything with, and they know everything, and we talk on the phone every day and we share clothes and talk about makeup and like blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
45:15
SPEAKER_01: Hey, that just really wasn't me to begin with.
45:18
SPEAKER_01: But also, it's like I saw other people doing it and I thought that there was something wrong with me because I didn't have one best friend because it's like my relationships with people, like I really love transparency and intimacy and communication.
45:31
SPEAKER_01: And everybody is so different that I have different relationships with people.
45:35
SPEAKER_01: And it's, I don't even like using the term best friends.
45:38
SPEAKER_01: Like when I say it out loud, I'm just like, it's not accurate.
45:41
SPEAKER_01: I just have friends that I fucking love and I love you guys to your core.
45:45
SPEAKER_01: And like there is no hierarchy system of like which person I love the most.
45:51
SPEAKER_01: It's like that's weird to me.
45:52
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
45:54
SPEAKER_02: You know, the whole magic with all of this, I think with the wheel, especially, is I think we can get into these seasons where like something feels wrong, something feels off, you something's got to change, but you don't know what it is.
46:07
SPEAKER_02: Like you're just kind of beating yourself up, things feel bad.
46:10
SPEAKER_02: Um, but it's kind of like you can't really identify best course forward.
46:16
SPEAKER_02: I think that is when these kinds of activities come in because they can really like the wheel shows you what's at a whack, you know, like maybe what in my life have I not given any attention to that's important to me.
46:28
SPEAKER_02: And then what it is important to me, but I'm giving way too much attention to it, like in balance with something else.
46:34
SPEAKER_02: And and even in your relationships, you know, I I love what you just said about like best friends because I've always felt like we go through seasons with our friendships and our relationships too.
46:44
SPEAKER_02: And even in my romantic relationship, there's seasons in that, there's just seasonality to everything, and people go through different chapters in life, and there can be closer times and farther away times, and it's all still fine, right?
46:56
SPEAKER_02: And so I love that.
46:57
SPEAKER_02: And I love you know, the key to all of this is having an internal compass and just being aware for you, what do you want?
47:05
SPEAKER_02: What do you crave?
47:06
SPEAKER_02: What is a good life?
47:08
SPEAKER_02: What is a life well lived?
47:10
SPEAKER_02: And like, and can you do you have any tools to help you kind of revisit that and recheck in with that?
47:14
SPEAKER_02: So if you're like me right now, where you're kind of navigating this really foggy season, you can have like an anchor to pull yourself back to.
47:22
SPEAKER_02: And and you know, um, even if you don't know the answers, you can identify what do I even want?
47:27
SPEAKER_02: What's even important to me?
47:29
SPEAKER_02: And then we can have a conversation around what's out of balance and maybe where we could it this is really just all about slight shifts.
47:36
SPEAKER_02: We're never talking about making any dramatic changes.
47:38
SPEAKER_02: You know, it's like, you know, this feels a little like it's needing some attention.
47:42
SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna maybe dedicate 30 more minutes a week or whatever, you know, but like those little kind of subtle changes can make a big difference.
47:49
SPEAKER_02: And I think just bringing language and detangling all these feelings and priorities and values and just like getting clear is very powerful.
47:59
SPEAKER_02: So if you rolled your eyes at Wheel of Life or if you rolled your eyes at Core Value, I just really encourage you to, especially if you're kind of like navigating a season of uncertainty, um, bust out these tools and like and and remember like your relationships don't have to meet all your needs, your business doesn't have to meet all your needs, you know, nothing is ever going to meet everything.
48:20
SPEAKER_02: And that that's like uh we're really not setting ourselves up for success when we're trying to like work for that idea of perfection and totally balanced and totally fulfilled and massive impact and massive profits.
48:32
SPEAKER_02: Like it's just unrealistic.
48:34
SPEAKER_02: And so I think if you can just like call a spade a spade and be realistic about that, that's like half the battle.
48:39
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and what a beautiful permission slip that all of us consistently need to give ourselves is like nothing is ever going to be fully balanced, and that's just that's what we fucking signed up for in its life.
48:55
SPEAKER_01: And so, yeah, I love just like taking a second, reflect, ask yourself, where am I feeling unfulfilled?
49:02
SPEAKER_01: Or another would be like, Where am I feeling triggered?
49:06
SPEAKER_01: Like my relationship with Andy, where am I feeling triggered by somebody else?
49:10
SPEAKER_01: And like, allow me to change the perspective, like, what is that saying about me?
49:14
SPEAKER_01: Because like it means some need isn't being met somewhere.
49:18
SPEAKER_01: So, like, allowing yourself to take responsibility for that feeling for being triggered and just allow yourself to sit with it, to marinate with it, to journal on it, and just be like, what are other ways to look at this?
49:31
SPEAKER_01: And just like allowing yourself to shift perspectives because, yeah, like you said, a tiny perspective shift can make a world of a fucking difference.
49:40
SPEAKER_01: It allows you to take your power back, it allows you to move forward in an empowered way.
49:45
SPEAKER_01: And I think that's that's the name of the game, right?
49:47
SPEAKER_01: It's really like allowing ourselves to explore in a way that feels empowering for us because like we do have the power to change our perspective, to change how we look at a situation and change the the meaning that we're giving a situation.
50:04
SPEAKER_01: So, yeah, I think I think this is this is a beautiful, a beautiful way to wrap this up.
50:11
SPEAKER_01: Is there anything else that you want to dive into on this one?
50:14
SPEAKER_02: No, I think that's it.
50:15
SPEAKER_02: You know, just to recap you the if you are at a point in your business where you're just frustrated, but you're not really sure what to do next before you spend 20k on a new coach.
50:32
SPEAKER_02: Like I want to encourage people to revisit the basics, like a lot of this stuff, and it may not be basics for you, maybe you've never heard about this before, but I think Mariah and I are like kind of we've been in this world for a minute.
50:44
SPEAKER_02: I I've certainly had coaches guide me through these things, but um, it's like what we talked about in our episode with Monique.
50:50
SPEAKER_02: Sometimes in life, the most simple connecting back to nature, connecting back to childhood, connecting back to animals and how they do things because connecting back to basic activities, like what do you value in this life?
51:03
SPEAKER_02: How are what are your priorities?
51:06
SPEAKER_02: It's profound how impactful they can be.
51:09
SPEAKER_02: So um use the wheel of life, use core values, use these ideas that we've brought up in these episodes to like, like Mariah said, create some space, reflect for yourself.
51:20
SPEAKER_02: You know, we've shared with you what this looks like for us, but you know, I'd love to hear from you.
51:24
SPEAKER_02: What does this look like for you?
51:26
SPEAKER_02: I feel like there's like a million different examples of how this could play out and you know, like little subtle shifts that you could make.
51:33
SPEAKER_02: Um, so I'd love to hear from you guys, you know, as you're kind of like sifting through this, what's popped up for you?
51:38
SPEAKER_02: Um, this is certainly piquing my curiosity.
51:40
SPEAKER_02: I'm about to print these off and do them for myself and compare them to my old answers because yeah, it's it's just interesting.
51:47
SPEAKER_02: I didn't even realize, you know, we talk about the video game and there's like different chapters and different layers to all of this.
51:53
SPEAKER_02: And like this is a topic that my business doesn't need to meet all my needs.
51:57
SPEAKER_02: It's something that's popped up for me in many different iterations.
52:00
SPEAKER_02: It's had many different faces, and it was even popping up for me right now in ways that I wasn't realizing.
52:05
SPEAKER_02: And it was popping up for me in ways not inside of this business, but it's like kind of these root patterns that we have and what we've normalized and what we've glamorized and what we've hyped up.
52:15
SPEAKER_02: And you know, my whole goal with all of this is to just spread awareness in my own life and everybody else's.
52:20
SPEAKER_02: So I found this uh conversation incredibly nourishing and um healing as always, and I hope y'all did too.
52:26
SPEAKER_02: Um, I think we're gonna close this episode down.
52:29
SPEAKER_02: Like I mentioned, if you enjoyed this episode and this conversation, please share it.
52:33
SPEAKER_02: Please tag us on social media, please DM us and let us know any like insights that you found in your own life.
52:39
SPEAKER_02: You know, um, Ryan and I really jam out on real life examples.
52:42
SPEAKER_02: I think that makes it all more tangible for all of us.
52:45
SPEAKER_02: So please share with us if this brought up anything with you and just know that we love to connect.
52:51
SPEAKER_01: And as always, thank you guys so much for listening.
52:55
SPEAKER_01: Thank you for your support, for your DMs, for your likes on Instagram, for your emails.
53:01
SPEAKER_01: Like, yeah, hearing your feedback on the episodes and the perspective shifts that you're having, it really does mean the fucking world to us.
53:11
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53:15
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53:16
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53:18
SPEAKER_01: It helps us, I don't know.
53:20
SPEAKER_01: I feel like it feels really good and allows us to keep going because, like, that's what we want for this podcast.
53:26
SPEAKER_01: You know, we want to have these conversations with not just me and Shay.
53:30
SPEAKER_01: If that was the case, we would have just hung out on Zoom or in Boxer.
53:34
SPEAKER_01: We like having it with you guys too.
53:36
SPEAKER_01: So until next time, remember that you have the power to create whatever the hell you want.
53:42
SPEAKER_01: Follow the nudge, ask the questions, and let curiosity guide the way.
53:47
SPEAKER_01: We'll see you guys in the next episode.