Latest / Beautifully Complex / 353: Selective Eating & How to Help Fill Nutritional Gaps, with Brittyn Coleman

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353: Selective Eating & How to Help Fill Nutritional Gaps, with Brittyn Coleman · Beautifully Complex

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Parents are told to just stop feeding their child their
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: safe foods or their preferred foods, and that they eventually
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: will get hungry enough that they're going to try something else,
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: and they'll expand their diet and they'll just magically open up.
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: But sensory sensitivities don't go away with hunger. In fact,
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: they usually get worse. The more overstimulated, the more angry,
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: the more imbalanced our blood sugger becoms. We're not going
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: to get the child to this place where they're like
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: magically going to not have sensory sensitivities anymore.
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: Welcome to Beautifully Complex, where we unpack what it really
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: means to parent neurodivergent kids with dignity and clarity. I'm
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: Penny Williams, and I know firsthand how tough and transformative
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: this journey can be. Let's dive in and discover how
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: to raise regulated, resilient, beautifully complex kids together. Oh and
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: if you want more support, join our free community at
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: hub dot beautifully complex dot life. Welcome back to Beautifully
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: Complex everyone. I am really excited to have Britain Coleman
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: here with me today to discuss selective eating and how
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: we can fill in those gaps and nutrition that we
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: are really concerned about as parents when our kids are
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: picky eaters, so that we know that they will be
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: healthy and they will grow up strong. Will you start
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: Britain by letting everybody know who you are and what
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: you do, and then we'll jump into it.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: Sure, Thanks so much for having me. My name is
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: Britta Coleman. I'm a richrodetitian and I specialize in autism
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: and selective eating. And the role that I fell is
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: supporting parents and helping expand their child's limited diet due
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: to sensory sensitivities and making sure that we expand in
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: a sensory informed, sensory friendly way so that the child
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: can be successful in expanding their diet and live the
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: best life that they can, having the best nutrition and
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: feeling their best. And that's what I I love to do.
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: I do that in many different ways. Social media is
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: a huge one, but I'm so excited to be here
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: with you and chat a little bit more about this.
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, let's start with the concept of selective eating. Can
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: you tell everybody what that is and what it might
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: look like in their home or their family.
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: Absolutely, so, the term selective eating I prefer to use.
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: Of course, everyone is familiar with the term picky eating,
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: but when it comes to autism and neurodivergence, selective eating
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: is actually a better term because it better explains what
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: they're experiencing. So kids on autism spectrum, they're not just
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: choosing to be picky. There's so much more that goes
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: into it. And I think as parents, when we can
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: also understand the foundations of what is going into their
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: selective eating, we can better understand and support our kids
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: as well and follow an approach that's going to support
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: them with what they need versus some of these typical
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: picky eating approaches that unfortunately usually make their selective eating
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: even worse. And so my goal is to help prevent
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: parents from getting to the place where we've gotten worse.
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: So we have to come back from it where we
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: can start from the get go with sensory informed choices
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: to expand their diet. So when it comes to kids
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: who are neurodivergent, we see a lot of sensory sensitivity,
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: and eating is one of our most sensory rich experiences.
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: If you think anything that you eat, you smell, taste, touch, here,
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: even all of your senses are happening all at once,
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: and so it's really easy for that to become really
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: overstimulating because it's everything all at once, especially if it's
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: something that's unexpected or something that is not within that
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: child's sensory preferences. And food can absolutely be one of
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: those big pieces. So we see actually up to ninety
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: percent of kids on the spectrum have sensory processing challenges,
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: which can translate into selective eating. And on top of that,
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: we have gut issues. We have something called interroception, which
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: is your body's ability to tell if it's hungry or full.
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: We can see disconnects there, so kids not recognizing that
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: they're hungry. We can see oral motor challenges, the impact
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: how a child can actually safely eat a food. There's
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: so many different pieces that go into it, and I
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: think unless you've kind of gone down this rabbit hole,
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: it's almost there's no guidebook for all of this, you know,
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: And so trying to understand all of the pieces and
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: how they fit together and the right approaches that can
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: support a child who's experiencing those things makes such a
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: huge difference. And so that's where I come from when
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: it comes to selective eating and coaching parents on how
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: to expand their child's diet.
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: And you're helping us kind of reframe from this is
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: a choice that's being picky to there are things going
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: on underneath this behavior that you're seeing on the surface
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: that you have fear around, let's say, right as a parent,
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: and you've given us like some of those reasons, But
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: can you tell us first, like why does it backfire
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: when we do try to sort of force compliance. I
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: think that's the most traditional way, or we try to
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: bribe kids to eat. If you eat the broccoli, then
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: you can have ice cream and those sort of things. Right,
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: are those traditional ideas that have been floating for such
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: a long time, Why does that actually make things worse?
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: I love that you asked this, and I was just
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: listening to one of your podcast episodes actually where it
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: talks about how pressure is not motivating, it's disregulating, and
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: that is such a perfect example with eating too, because
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: the more pressure we put around food, and especially let's
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: say a child doesn't feel safe eating a food, whether
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: that's from a sensory experience or an oral motor perspective,
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: they can't safely choose steak and eat it, because it
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: takes a lot of muscles to eat just an example.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: The more pressure we put on them, we're not going
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: to have more success. This also happens with some of
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: these typical picky eating approaches where I hear parents say, well,
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: they're just manipulating you, which like hard stop on that
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: huge red flag. Yes, because as I explained before, there's
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: so much that goes into it that we're not talking
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: manipulation here at all. We're talking about all of these
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: deeper pieces that we are trying to understand. And one
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: of the most common advice, and I see that just
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: kills me, is when parents are told to just stop
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: feeding their child their safe foods or their preferred foods,
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: and that they just stop feeding them those that they
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: eventually will get hungry enough that they're going to try
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: something else and they'll expand their diet and they'll just
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: magically open up. And I don't like this approach first
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: of all, for any child. But the problem is here
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: is that sensory sensitivities don't go away with hunger. In fact,
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: they usually get worse. The more overstaated, emulated, the more angry,
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: the more imbalanced our blood sugar becomes we're not going
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: to get the child to this place where they're like
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: magically going to not have sensory sensitivities anymore, or magically
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: be able to have a perfect chew or swallow that
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: may or like oral motor function that's all of a
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: sudden going to be resolved with hunger. So that's one
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: of those approaches that just kills me as a dietician
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: and a parent. I don't like that approach, but especially
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: for kids who are nor divergent, it's going to cause
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: the child to lose trust in food and lose trust
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: in the caregiver, and those are two of the most
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: important things to maintain trust around when a child's selective,
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: and then we end up in a worse place where
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: we have fewer foods and they're having even more hesitation
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: trying something new.
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, those power struggles can really be a cycle that's
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: so hard to break sometimes. But I always think about, like,
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: what's the compassionate thing to do? Can we start with
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: compassion and empathy for the experience, And that starts obviously
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: with a reframe that you gave us at the beginning
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: that this isn't a choice. They're not being picky. They're
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: not giving us a hard time, right, They're being selective
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: with their food choices for some reason. And I think
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: that helps us so much then, to just open our
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: minds to thinking about it differently, doing something different with it.
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: I do wonder too, is anxiety part of this story
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: for sure?
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: Yes, okay, and anxiety can be a huge piece food
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: anxiety and autism, but also in something we call ARPHID
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: stands for avoidant restrictive food intake disorder, and we see
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: higher rates of ARFED in the neurodivergent community. And there's
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: a big piece in ur FID that can absolutely be
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: anxiety around food, or anxiety from a past experience of
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: food that could even come down to like choking or anaphyleaxis.
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: That could also be anxiety of the idea of the
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: experience with food. It could be sensory. You know, There's
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: so many pieces that come into it. So yes, anxiety
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: can also be a huge contributor. And I also wanted
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: to say, you know, backing up a little bit, I
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: don't blame parents at all for following these approaches because,
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: as we said before, like there's no guidebook here, and
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: I think the world of nutrition and autism is really
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: just coming to a point where we have so many
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: more resources and so many people who are really defending
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: and advocating for this sensory informed approach. And I think
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: before still we have doctors or other practitioners who are
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: giving this really outdated advice. And so I don't blame
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: parents at all for following that, especially when you're coming
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: from a place of like, oh my god, my child
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: eats two foods or five foods, even ten foods. I mean,
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: it's scary, and so you kind of do anything you
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: can and just like hail Mary, like can we get
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: them to try new things? So I also it's like
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: coming from a place of compassion for the kids a
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: thousand percent and helping understand. And then I also come
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: from a place of like compassion for parents who are
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: like trying their hardest and nothing's working, and feeling like
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: they have to try one of these approaches because they're
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: not getting the right support from their current healthcare team.
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: You can only do what you know to do right.
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: When you know better, you do better. But you have
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: to get to that point where you run across somebody
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: who actually gives you a different type of advice. Around it.
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: Can we talk a little bit more about the parent
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: experience and the parent fear that I think is really
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: what drives this, right, This drives the stress that parents
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: experience when their kids are selective eaters, because we worry
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: so much about their health and nutrition and what it
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: would mean for them if forever more they only eat like,
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: you know, chicken nuggets and spaghetti, right, then what does
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: that mean for them long term? Because as parents, we
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: are great future casters and we get really worried about
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: the future, and so we know that's like the place
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: that this is coming from. What do we need to
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: start thinking about differently to sort of not have just
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: the fear drive us?
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: Oh, I have so many thoughts, So I think first
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: I'll start with it's normal to have fear around that,
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: because if your child only has a couple of foods,
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: the thought of losing one of those foods is so
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: stressful because you're like, we have three, what if we
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: get to two? And if we have two, what if
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: we get to one? And so you start to get
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: into this cycle and it's really scary. And so I think,
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: you know, having the resources to get to the right
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: support for that, which I will absolutely share more about
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: what you can do in those scenarios, but also as
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: a parent having that fear at meal time, kids do
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: co regulate and it's so much easier said than done.
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: Of me just saying just don't be scared at meal time,
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: just a confident and act like everything's okay. It's like
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: as a parent who's incredibly worried if your child is
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: going to get the nutrients that they need. Of course
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: we're stressed at meal time. Kids do pick up on
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: it too, and you know they can feel that, and
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: so a lot of times I'll talk parents through ways
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: that we can regulate ourselves to show up for our
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: kids at meal time to potentially reduce some meal time stress.
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: Now this is like a part of it, right. Yeah,
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: I'm not here to say that because you're so stressed
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: out your child is their diet is limited, not at all.
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: But I'm talking about for us to have more success
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: and continue moving that needle forward. It really helps if
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: we have a regulated parent coming to the table to
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: help a disregulated child become more regulated, because the problem
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: with feeling disregulated at meal time, it's like your sensory
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: threshold has already been met. Now we're trying to to taste, swallow,
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: do all of these really heavy sensory experiences that sometimes
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: a kid is just like I am so tapped out
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: that eating I can push that off on the back
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: burner right now because I'm so dysregulated, or they'll stick
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: to a very select number of foods that are feeling
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: really regulatory to the child. And so oftentimes that's the
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: first place I start before we even start introducing new foods.
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: What's our meal time routine? What does meal time look like?
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: Understanding your child's sensory needs around food and what feels
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: regulating to them, and helping your child get in a
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: more regulated state, of course, bringing in ots and speech
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: therapists and other people who can support that regulation for kids,
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: and pulling in all this therapy together to help get
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: them at meal time in a more successful place to
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: then eat more or expand their diet when they're not
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: so dysregulated.
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: So let's talk about that now, talk about what do
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: we do. We're trying to reframe. We're trying to pull
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: back the stress and the fear a little bit right
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: so that we're not giving it to our kids at
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: meal time. We want to take the pressure off what
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: else can we do to improve either the situation around
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: they're eating or to improve the nutrients that they're getting.
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so from a meal time experience, one thing I
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: really like to do in the very beginning is write
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: down all of your child's favorite foods, the foods they
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: will eat very consistently, and let's break that down into
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: sensory experience. Like I love charts and graphs, So if
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: we can have a little chart that can show, okay,
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: textures in one column, color is in another column, temperature
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: is in another, and we can figure out I really
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: encourage parents to write this down because you can start
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: to see some of the trends like oh, my child
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: really likes room temperature and crunchy foods. That helps inform
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: us from the foods that your child is already eating
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: what feels comfortable and regulatory to them. Let's start there.
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: Let's find some other foods that match that sensory profile
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: or pretty similar and kind of make our way toward
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: new foods that can help kids gain confidence in a
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: way that is regulating to the child. So that's one
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: of my top places to start, and there's so much
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: more that goes into it, on like how to introduce
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: the foods. But that's a great place to get going.
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: The other thing that I say, all of this takes
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: a long time. This is a process. It's not just
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: overnight that it happens, and as a parent, you want
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: it to happen overnight or even the next week. Like
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: we've tried two new foods, three new foods, and it
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: does just take time. And so one of the things
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: that I really like parents to do while they're working
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: on expanding their child's diet and implementing all of these
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: really great sensory informed approaches is to get a really
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: high quality supplement on board so that their child can
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: be meeting a lot more of their nutrient needs now
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: while we work on it. So I think filling some
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: of those gaps can be really foundational for kids. And also,
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: I mean, getting more nutrients into your body can help
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: you feel yourself. I mean, I've been deficient in iron
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: before and I didn't know it until I started taking iron.
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: I was like, oh my gosh, I was so fatigued.
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: And so helping kids get the nutrients that they need
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: sooner while we work on expanding the diet is such
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: an important thing. And I work with all of my
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: clients to do that in a very specific manner so
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: that we can make sure that we're doing the right
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: thing while it takes time to improve their nutrition status.
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: Can you tell us like one good little nugget, one
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: little tip of like starting to try to introduce other things,
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: because I think so many parents want to get going
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: on that and it takes like small steps and a
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: lot of time, as you said, So where can they
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: kind of start with that while they're also like filling
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: out their their chart of their patterns and what their
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: kid eats and trying to look for trends, there is
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: there something else they can do during dinner time that
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: might be helpful.
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: I think one of the best things they can do
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: is let go of the idea that eating a food
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: is the only win, because I think when we set
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: our win at eating, we lose all of the little
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: winds that happen along the way, Like a child having
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: a food on their plate for the first time, and
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: they didn't melt down or smelling it for the first time,
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: and some kids will gag, you know, this extreme sensory experience.
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: And they smelled it and they put it away. They
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: weren't ready for it, and we continued on with meal time, Like,
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: there are so many little tidbits that if we set
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: our goal to just eating, we miss everything else. And
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: the thing when it comes to sensory sensitivity and sensory
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: overwhelm is that we don't start eating a food, we
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: have to break it down. And so oftentimes just the
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: idea of a food can be helpful to start with
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: having it on the table across the room, watching it
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: on TV, participating in preparing it, and having no pressure.
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: They don't have to eat it, that's not the thing
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: at all. They get to chop or throw it in
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: the blender or do whatever, toss it in the trash,
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: even something that feels safe to the child. I encourage
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: parents to start there and focus on those little wins
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: because that also really leads up to those really big
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: wins happening later on. It's also really hard to keep
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: going as a parent when you feel so defeated. You're like, oh,
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: they didn't eat it again, but they actually did something
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: really cool and knew at meal time, but we weren't
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: watching for it, and we didn't get to celebrate that
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: and get to see like we are making progress, just
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: not necessarily the way that our brain is thinking progress.
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: So really backing up like where is your kid now,
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: and then backing up to something that you know is doable.
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: I think you know, I talk so much about the
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: fact that our kids need successes to keep trying, and
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: so what is doable? If it's having that thing on
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: the table on the other side of the table and
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: nobody talks about it, but your kid stays at the
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: table and they're not upset about it, that's a win, right,
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: that's a success for everybody. And realizing that these are
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: actual successes that yes, you didn't get to that end
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: goal yet, but you're working on it, and that was
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: one more step toward it. Absolutely, it can be really difficult,
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: Like I don't want to sugarcoat what we're asking for here,
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: that can be really difficult. But I have found over
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: the years that that is really where the magic is
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: in making change, especially for kids who don't like change.
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: Change is hard for them. Changes this regulating for them, Right,
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: So how can we make it just the tiniest bit possible?
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: Sometimes that's the best place to start. So I love
• 20:22
  Speaker 2: that you shared that. I have one more question before
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: we jump into talking about multi vitamins. Something came up
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: for me as you were talking a minute ago, which
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: is I get so many parents saying that their kids
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: don't want to be at the dinner table because they
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: can't stand the sound of other people chewing, and they
• 20:42
  Speaker 2: don't know what to do because they feel like it's
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: so important that everybody's at the table, and a lot
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: of times they feel like that's unrealistic or something that
• 20:50
  Speaker 2: they shouldn't be upset about. Right, I'm going to use
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: my air quotes around that. How do we navigate that,
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: because I know it's a sensory issue, but I think
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: that can drive kids away from the table. I can
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: drive them away from eating sometimes too.
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think there's so many pieces to this
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: because as a parent too, sometimes it's like we want
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: all of our kids and our family to sit down
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: for a meal time, and so it can feel sad
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: when you notice that that's not what's best for the
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: child either, and so sometimes we do have to split
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: up meal times and figure out a way that might
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: work for the family too. So one example, if you
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: notice the child is getting incredibly dysregulated because everybody is
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: eating all of the foods that do not fit into
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: their food preferences and the sounds, then we may consider
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: allowing the child to sit down and eat a little
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: bit before the rest of the family comes, where it's
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: a little bit quieter. They can also get their nutrition
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: needs met and if they're able to continue staying at
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: the table to be able to get a part of
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: the meal time after and everyone's served, awesome, But we
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: also have to think of the child's needs and their
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: regulation too, and so at the end of the day,
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: if that comes down to we're needing a separate meal
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: time to make sure that your child feels nourished and fed.
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: Sometimes that's one of those pieces as a parent that
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: is hard to kind of let go of and realize
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: that it doesn't have to be that you let go
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: of this forever. It might just be a right now situation.
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: And what else can we do as a family that
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: is a great experience for the entire family? Could it be?
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: I mean, even let's say that the child enjoys arts
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: and crafts. Could we all meet at the table and
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: participate in a non food activity. But it is really difficult.
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: My brother actually as a child, so I have a
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: brother on the autism and spectrum he's thirty one now,
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: but he grew up a very selective eater and he
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: actually would eat at a separate table than this, And
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: I know that that my parents wanted him to eat
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: with us, But at the end of the day, it
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: came down to his regulation and that really helped him.
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: That's not necessarily an approach that I recommend for families
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: right off the bat, because I also want to troubleshoot
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: and figure out is there a way that we can
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: meet this goal for you if your goal is family
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: meal times. But that was really what he needed and
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: he was nearby. This is when he was very young
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: and was able to be a part of the family
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: meal time. But it looked a lot different than what
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: it looked for my friends' families too. Yeah.
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it reminds me of a television show that's on
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: right now actually, where the brother and they're young adults
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: but they're still living at home, and he stands at
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: the kitchen counter and eats his meal across the kitchen
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: while everybody else that's at the dining table. And I
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: always think, like, I wonder if they're sort of making
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: this character a little bit on the spectrum, right because
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: I mean, my own kid doing family dinner not really
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: for sensory issues, but more justice regulation around conversation and
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: like being asked about his day and that kind of stuff.
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: And it was heartbreaking, but I knew that that was
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: what we needed at that time and it didn't mean forever.
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: So I'm glad that you're you're kind of giving everyone permission, right,
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: and to think about what is your goal for family dinner?
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: Is it really that everybody eats together or is it
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: that you have some family time? Because you can get
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: family time in other ways and that's a really, really
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: exceptional perspective for families who are struggling around meal time.
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: So you have co founded a new multi vitamin called
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: best Part right that's coming out soon. Why did you
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: decide to go down this path? Couldn't have been easy.
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: It has to be so much work to do this.
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: What really inspired you to make this happen?
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: This is such a long time coming. I've thought about
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: it for so so long, and it's one of those
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: things and it's like, well me, you know, it's like
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: someone else needs to make this sensory friendly multi vitamin. Finally,
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: it came down to the point where I was just like,
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: nobody is doing this. So I started Best Part because
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: I found that there was this huge gap between the
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: supplements that I was recommending for kids on the autism
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: spectrum who were selective eaters. So we had half the
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: supplements that were in these really high doses, so we
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: were like megadosing kids. So I was honestly calling them
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: just like expensive pea because they really just excrete a
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: lot of those water soluble B vitamins that they don't need,
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: and they also taste horrible. And then you have the
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: other side where we do have some vitamins that are tasteless,
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: but they have such little nutrients and support that they
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: really aren't making an impact. And so I never had
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: this happy medium to recommend to my clients. It just
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: didn't exist. And so I finally decided to create Best
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: Part along with Harkla, and create the supplement that filled
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: that middle need for parents, something that was sensory friendly
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: that kids with sensory sensitivities who were selective eaters could
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: actually take consistently, but then also had the nutrients that
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: they could safely take daily and very intentional docing that
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: would help them get the nutrients that they need and
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: it was very particular about which nutrients we put in
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: and how much we were putting into making sure that
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: it makes an impact. But we're not using megadose levels.
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: We're using levels that the body really needs and in
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: the forms that the body can best absorb and be
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: the most efficient. So we see that when it to
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: certain nutrients, you can have different levels of what's called bioavailability,
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: and that's basically how well your body absorbs it when
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: you take it. And most of the supplements that you
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: would go grab at Walmart or Target are going to
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: be some of the cheapest, least active in the body,
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: and so what we're doing is using the bioavailable form
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: so that the child can absorb it and be more
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: efficient with a nutrient. We also see their genetic components too,
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: like the mthfr gene that can impact exactly can impact
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: how well a child can actually absorb that and those nutrients.
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: So all of our b vitamins are methylated and we
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: use methyl fol eight as well. We will not use
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: full of acid and one of our products, and we
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: intentionally use these methylated forms so that kids can absorb
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: them easier and be more efficient with that process as well.
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: So that's one of our non negotiables.
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: So I'm really curious about the form of your multi
• 28:03
  Speaker 2: vitamins because we've talked about sensory sensitivities and texture sensitivities,
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: and so in my mind, I'm like, hmm, is this
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: going to be a gummy or a liquid or are
• 28:15
  Speaker 2: there different options maybe for different kids.
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we went with a powder, and we were very
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: very intentional about having a powder. The reason why because
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: I have had people ask mele why is it not
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: a gummy or a chewable or you know, anything else.
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: So the powder. You can be so versatile with a powder,
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: and the idea behind best part is to be able
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: to have a sensory friendly line, to be able to
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: meet the child where they're at and not the other
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: way around. So a gummy only resonates with a certain
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: sensory preference. And not only that, you can only get
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: a certain amount of nutrients into a gummy before you
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: start having to take like eight to twelve gummies to
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: really get the right nutrition. And so by keeping this
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: a flavorless powder, we do have a flavored option, which
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: is an organic mixed berry flavor, which is so good.
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: We have the unflavored option, and then we can facilitate
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: parents on how to find a way that's going to
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: meet their child's nutrition needs. So what's different about us
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: is not only are you getting a really high quality
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: supplement that's created specifically for children with sensory sensitivities, but
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: there's also so much education happening and support to help
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: make sure that your child is successful with it. So
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: taking my decade of working with kids and lifetime with
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: my brother who was an incredibly selective eater, and supplements
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: absolutely made a huge impact for him to help him
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: get the nutrients that he needed when he had a
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: very selective diet, Supporting families and how to do that
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: and a creative way that it's going to work for
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: their child. So we do have a huge guide to
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: support families through that. But on top of that, you know,
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: we give so much support to the families that will
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: be a part of best part as well.
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: That's awesome. I love what you're doing and that you're
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: trying to fill in some of the gaps for our
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: families and really meet some needs that are heavy on
• 30:20
  Speaker 2: parents' minds and hearts. And I appreciate that so much.
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: And I think you have a special offer for people
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: listening right for Best Part Do you want to share that?
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah? Absolutely, Yeah, for your listeners, they can get ten
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: percent off their first order by using the code complex
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: And we can also share a link with you Penny
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: to put in your show notes if it's helpful for families,
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: and you all can follow us at Best Part Kids
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: on Instagram or any social media and learn more about
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: the supplements. And by the time that this launch is
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: we should be live, which is really exciting. So yeah,
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: you can always go to Bestpartkids dot com to learn
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: more about Best Part and order the unflavored or the
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: mixed berry option. And we have a lot of exciting
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: things coming too. We have this multi vitamin that's coming,
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: but we're also in the process nailed down the perfect
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: iron that is flavorless and tasteless, which has actually been
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: harder than the multi vitamin, as well as a daily
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: sleep supplement. I mean, we have so much on deck
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: that we're already working on before this has even gone live.
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: So we're really excited to be able to fill this
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: gap to support families and helping their kids get the
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: right nutrition and helping parents get back to the Best
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: Part of parenting.
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: I'm going to link up everything that Britain just talked
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: about in the show notes at parentingadhdanautsism dot com so
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: you'll have the discount code, the website, the instagram for
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: best part, as well as Britain's instagram which is full
• 31:56
  Speaker 2: of wonderful information and tips for you as well, and
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: I hope that you'll check it out. I really appreciate
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: you being here and sharing some of your time and
• 32:08
  Speaker 2: wisdom and what you have on deck, and your passion
• 32:12
  Speaker 2: comes through and I know that it's going to help
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: many of the families who are listening.
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Penny, thanks for having me.
• 32:19
  Speaker 2: Of course, I will see everybody next time. Take good care.
• 32:24
  Speaker 2: I see you. You're doing hard and meaningful work and
• 32:28
  Speaker 2: you don't have to do it alone. If you found
• 32:31
  Speaker 2: this episode helpful, share it with someone who needs it
• 32:34
  Speaker 2: and leave a quick review so others can find this
• 32:37
  Speaker 2: support too. When you're ready for next steps, the Regulated
• 32:41
  Speaker 2: Kids Project is here with the tools, coaching and community
• 32:45
  Speaker 2: to help you raise a more regulated, resilient child. Get
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: more info at regulated kids dot com.