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Why Do I Run From Relationships? · Pursuit of Sassiness

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Thank you. Hey, hey, I do part two. It's your
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: celebrity mentor, Kelly Ben Simone. And I'm here with one
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: of my favorite mentors from The Golden Bachelorette. It's Joan Vassos. Hi.
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: It's been too long.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: They were going to chat a little bit about the
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: sit-down convo that Jaina had this week with Shana Mochler,
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: and it was a good one. If you haven't listened
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: to that episode yet, pause right now, go listen to
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: that episode, and then come back right here. Let's get started.
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: I'm so excited to see you. And I'm going to
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: see you in New York City on October, I think
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: it's the 6th, for the Page Six Reality Awards.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: Oh, great.
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: I'm presenting the award to you guys.
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: No.
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: To the Golden Life.
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: I love that. I'm so excited. Yeah.
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: So we have to get together and you have to
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: tell me what you're wearing because I have no idea
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: what to wear to this thing.
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: Oh my God. We will definitely have a debrief and
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: you have to come over. We have drinks and do
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: all sorts of fun stuff.
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: I would love to. I'm coming the day before.
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: Oh my God. Okay, great.
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: Okay. It's a date. It's a date. Okay. Let's get,
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: let's start talking.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: So the trailer just came out today. Did you see
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: it yet?
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: I did.
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: I'm obsessed.
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: I've watched it like four times and I'm worried that
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: some of the girls may have been mean to you.
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: I mean, I just think it's so funny.
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: I'm like, excuse me.
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: I'm going to have.
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: To come and beat them up.
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: I'm kind of very polite, you know, but they don't
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: like that.
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: You are like the nicest. Okay, so you're the nicest person,
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: but I also want to say you're like the nicest
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: pretty person because a lot of times really beautiful women
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: aren't nice to other women. And you are always so
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: incredibly kind. You like break that mold and you give
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: me faith in like women and that they can be
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: nice to each other. And I worry about you when
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: you're amongst other women that I don't think maybe are
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: as nice as you are.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: Oh, Joe, you're so, well, I mean, we're having a
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: really good time and I think you're going to be
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: surprised by some of the things that happened and happens
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: and happened, but you're, I mean, you're going to love it. Okay.
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: Just, just humor me for a second. Cause I'm really
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: obsessed with the show. Give me three words that you
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: would use to describe the golden life.
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: Spirited. Okay. Adventurous. Yeah. Heartfelt.
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: I'm intrigued. I was intrigued already.
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: I was already going to watch it, but now I'm
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: really going to watch. So Adventurous is probably the one
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: that I like the most about that one. So I'm
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: dying to see what kind of adventures they have you
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: guys on, because I think maybe at this age in
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: our lives, I know I'm a little older than you,
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: but some of the people that you're on the show
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: with are my age. We don't care as much about
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: what people think about us, so maybe we're a little
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: more adventurous than we were when we were younger.
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: Which I love. Yeah.
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: Perfect.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: Were you familiar with Shana Moakler or Travis Barker before
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: you heard this episode?
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: So I remember them from like long ago. So, I mean,
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: she's been in the news a ton and so is he.
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: She's had like a lot of really kind of big relationships.
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: She's been with a lot of men that are well-known.
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: She's had babies with them. So I remember her, but
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: she had kind of faded from my radar a little bit.
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: I don't think that there's been anything super recent about
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: And now she's kind of back in the news a
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: little bit. So it's fun.
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: And you know what?
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: I always loved her. She has quite a style and
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: she's had quite a history. And she's been on TV
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: and she's bottled. And she's kind of gotten around. So
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: she's an interesting lady. I like that she's back in
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: the news.
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: How about you?
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: Did you remember her?
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: So, yeah, I remember her. But I also remember her
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: from the show. And I was just reintroduced to her
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: by Shaina. And I just... We have so many questions,
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: but my first thought out of the gate was just
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: how knowledgeable she is about menopause.
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: I know. I had no idea about this whole part
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: of her life that she had this whole kind of
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: interest in this medical background and supporting women and even
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: supporting men in like a medical journey. And she seems
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: so incredibly bright. And I love that when these beautiful
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: women are also super smart. and pour their heart into
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: something like that can help us.
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: I think so too. And just, you know, her sharing
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: her stories and Jenna sharing her story, you know, that
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: just the more information that we can get out there about,
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: you know, the iterations of menopause. I mean, my mother
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: had a personal note. My mother had really, really bad
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: menopause and I was always so scared. And she, as
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: a result from bad menopause, she had severe migraines. And
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: so my upbringing- Me too, by the way. Oh my God.
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: Oh my God.
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: I had one yesterday.
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry. And I just remember a young girl, you know,
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: in my, not young girl, but I was in my
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: early teens. And I just could, would be like really, really,
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: really excited and really jacked up. And then nothing. You
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: couldn't talk to her for days. Yeah. She just couldn't
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: go or, and it was just terrible as a young
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: girl because, you know, I'm like, mommy, like what's wrong
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: with my mom? Yeah. And I had this perfect picture
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: of her because she was the perfect mom until her
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: menopause and her migraines really took over and just were debilitating.
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: I don't think people get how these hormones surging through
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: our bodies and how much impact they have on us.
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: So I had migraines starting when I went through puberty.
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: I got my first migraine when I was 13 years old,
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: and I've had them ever since. And they certainly, whenever
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: there's like a weird surge in hormones. So I have
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: four kids. When I was pregnant with my second daughter,
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: or my second child, my first daughter, I had terrible
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: migraines through that entire pregnancy and had to actually quit
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: my work. I couldn't work. I got them every day.
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: So like these hormones that she is really investigating and
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: spending a lot of time finding remedies for, we used
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: to just have to power through them. Like your mom
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: had to power through it. I remember- coming down into
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: the kitchen when I was maybe in middle school, and
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: my mom would have her head in the freezer. And
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: I'm like, Mom, what are you doing? She's like, I'm
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: having a hot flash, and she'd be doing this with
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: her bathrobe, and she'd have her head in the freezer,
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: or she'd be walking outside in bare feet in the
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: middle of winter, trying to cool down. I don't think
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: people understand how severe these hormone-related, like all the things that, yeah,
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: they're awful. They cause migraines, and the hot flashes are horrible.
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: Sleeping is hard. I am so thrilled that There is
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: a person that you can turn to and.
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: Oh, hair loss. Like just. It happened as well. Sorry.
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: I don't have to do. No, no, no.
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: You were right. I, there are so many other things
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: I wasn't even thinking about, but you're like the hair loss.
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: Like how hard is that for a woman? Your hair
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: is part of your identity. Yeah.
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: But I mean, just the migraines. I'm so sorry that
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: you go through that and that you went through that.
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: Remember as a young girl, like just being like, what's
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: wrong with my mom. Not understanding and not knowing and.
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: even if she was like, oh, my period or whatever,
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: that didn't resonate. I had no idea. I was like, oh, okay.
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: We don't know. And terrible cramps and all that. Men
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: have it so much easier. They have no idea the
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: things that we have to deal with like once a month.
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: I'm so happy I'm done with the whole darn thing.
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: I know.
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: It's a lot easier.
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: I'll get them. But I just was like, I just
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: was very, very, very impressed by her knowledge. Just to
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: your point. I was like, whoa. I was like, okay,
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: this is a podcast. Let's get started.
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we dove right into that. And I had no
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: idea that she had this passion and was doing that.
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: We should probably tell people the name of her website
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: or the name of her organization. Oh, yeah.
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: What's it called?
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: Hello Foxy. F-O-X-I, I believe. So it's with an I
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: at the end because I did look it up the
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: wrong way. And it provides so many services. And I mean, really, honestly, really,
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: really good. And like, you know, good for her. She's
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: branching out.
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: I love that. I love that.
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that was interesting.
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: So what do you think about Shana sharing that she
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: and Travis did a nesting situation after the divorce with
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: their kids?
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: So, so interesting. I've heard of that. Have you heard
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: of that arrangement before? People doing that?
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: I have. I'm Midwest. We don't have nesting.
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: You're divorced, you leave, and you move on. You move on.
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: I've never known anybody who has done it, but I
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: have heard of it before. And I thought, what a
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: wonderful thing to do for your kids if you can
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: do it. Because how hard would it be? First of all,
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: kids are probably going through the worst thing in their lives.
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: Their parents are separating. They never imagined this was going
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: to happen. You picture your life being perfect. You think
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: you're always going to have both your parents. And all
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: of a sudden, they're not going to be together anymore.
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: But they're allowing you to stay in your home with
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: your kids, your friends down the street. walking to your
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: same bus stop, you know, in your same bed at night.
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: I think that's such, you know, during that really hard
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: year or two, if you can, you know, keep this
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: going and allowing them, you know, the comforts of home,
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: it's amazing. But can you imagine sharing a home with
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: somebody that maybe you're not having an amicable divorce with?
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: I mean, this is a pod, but if you saw
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: my eyes right now, you would be like, whoa. And
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: I've had a lot of Botox, but I'm telling you,
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: my eyes are powerful.
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: I can see expression. Hardly any, but a little bit.
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: I'm with you. You can't see it in mine either.
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: But yeah, I'm appalled too.
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: I was like, I mean, I agree with you. I
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: think it's beautiful. I just don't understand. I mean, if
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: you're going to get divorced, there's so many other things
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: that are associated. I just couldn't. see the person. I
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: love my kids more than anything. I would do it
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: for them. I just wouldn't be able to have someone
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: that I needed to separate from permanently nesting in my house.
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: I'd be like, nest elsewhere.
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: I do feel like it's a very unique situation, which
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: is probably why we don't hear it very much. Shana
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: clearly had a really amicable divorce or separation with, um,
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: with her ex and was able to maintain like a,
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: cause I mean, you're not doing the kids any good
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: if you're coming together and then fighting. So, um, but you,
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: you got to imagine that maybe for some people has
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: to do with money, that it's too hard to maintain
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: different residences, or maybe they have to separate and sell
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: the main home so they can actually separate. So, you know,
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: I think there's a lot of things that play into it.
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: Money certainly is one of the things, but being, you know, having,
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: you can't, I can't imagine you, you know, having that
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: kind of situation with somebody that you are really actively
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: still fighting with or arguing with or having, you know,
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: problems with the separation or the divorce or the agreement or,
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: you know, how you're splitting the kids or the money
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: or whatever. I could see any kind of turmoil will
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: just be exasperated if you're coming to the house and
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: they left the kitchen messy and didn't do the laundry.
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: I mean, that's a trigger for me.
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, me too.
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: So Joan, so my husband, my ex-husband is French and
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: we just put up a wall between the two apartments
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: because he traveled so much. The girls could see him
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: when he came home, but he was not in the apartment.
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: And it actually worked out really well for the kids
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: because they didn't feel, they were like, daddy's home. They
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: would go see him, have some blueberries and come home.
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: That was, you had the perfect divorce situation. I think
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: you may be the only person in the entire world. No,
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: I actually know one other person whose father bought the
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: house next door to them. And so they used to
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: go back and forth, but you have like the perfect
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: divorce situation, but I can't imagine most people being able
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: to afford that, have two houses next door to each other.
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I just was, I, you know, he just traveled
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: and I understood the assignment. I, you know, I knew
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: that he needed to be in their lives, but I
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: also knew that I needed to have, Control. And privacy. Yeah.
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: And control.
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: I was going to say privacy, but control. Even more. Yeah.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: All of the above.
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: And I can imagine that you didn't have to have
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: a really strict agreement about custody because they kind of
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: lived with you, it sounds like, and then visited him.
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: Right. I just said to him, I said, just love
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: the girls and everything's fine. That's it.
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: Spend as much time as you can.
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: Yes. And there was no expectations, so there was nothing
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: to manage. Yeah.
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: Perfect.
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: Does that make sense? Do you mean like, I was like,
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: I've got the girls, like my dad's like, okay, the
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: girls are going on a ski trip. Let's go pack
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: them up.
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: So did, do they, are they still really close with
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: their father?
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: Yes. Very.
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: And does he still live in New York city or
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: has he moved?
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: He lives in New York and in Venice, but I
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: think the reason that he is close to them and
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: he's older is because there was, he didn't have any expectations.
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: He didn't have, he just was like, you know, just
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: go live your life and just, you know, be a good,
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: be a good, parent when you can. Yeah, good. I mean,
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: be a good father. Don't parent my kids. I'll parent
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: my kids. Did I say that out loud?
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: Nope, I didn't hear it.
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: Oh, nope.
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: What happens on I Do Part Two stays on I
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: Do Part Two.
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: Exactly.
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: Okay, I have to ask you about, I loved the
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: conversation that the two of them had about both Jana
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: and Shana expressed regrets from their past relationships. And so
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: Jana said, first of all, that even though she tried
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: her hardest in her marriage, she wishes that she would
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: have left sooner. And Shana kind of said the same thing,
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: that she wishes she hadn't accepted this abusive treatment that
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: she had in a previous relationship, not in her marriage,
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: but in a previous relationship.
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: Do you have any regrets from a past relationship that
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: you let it go on for way too long? Or
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: do you think every relationship we have is part of
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: the learning curve?
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: And of course. I mean, my ex-husband got divorced. And
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: then I met a guy that was younger than me,
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: 10 years younger. And he was not the ideal human.
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: And You know, it just was not exactly, you know,
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: how I wanted it to be. And so we would
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: break up and then we'd get back together and we'd
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: break up. And, you know, at the time, too, in
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: my defense, I was working. I was, you know, the
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: editor of three magazines. Like, I was writing books. I
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: had two young girls. And I just had so much
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: on my plate that, you know, I kind of just
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: let something– I kind of, like, let it go on.
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: And didn't take control of it. And that was my fault.
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: And I should have been the bigger person and said,
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: this is not working out. We're never doing this again.
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: But because I was so busy, I just kind of
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: let things slide that shouldn't have. And so I empathize
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: with her a lot. I mean, with Shana a lot.
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: Because things just happen. You know, just life just happens.
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: I know that sounds so cliche, but it just does. And,
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: you know, it's so easy. For us to say now, wow,
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: you know, we should have done this. We should have
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: done that. But when you're in the middle of it,
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: you're not thinking like that. You're like, oh, my God,
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: my kids, my life. You know, I wasn't thinking about, like, relationship.
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: I was just thinking about my kids and making money
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: and just making sure that they had everything. Yeah. So–
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: it's just, you know, we're in a different time now.
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean? I do.
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: I feel like it's so much easier. I feel like
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: for me, I would stay in relationships longer than I
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: should have because I thought, is this as good as
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: it gets? Like, like even if I'm not a hundred
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: percent happy, maybe if I'm 75% happy, I may never
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: find this much happy again. So I should just stay
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: in this because it's good enough. It's not bad. I'm like,
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: I was never in an abusive relationship, but it was
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: also in a relationship that maybe wasn't like so love
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: filled or so like exciting or, Like I knew that
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: there were red flags, maybe the way we resolve conflict or,
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: you know, whatever it was. I stayed in too long
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: because I just thought maybe this is all there is
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: and I'm not going to find anything better.
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: I mean, that's just so honest. And I just, I really,
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: really respect you being open about that. And I think
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: that's something that's natural. And I think that's something that
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: happens all the time. I think that women just kind
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: of feel like there are so many single women. That,
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: you know, are trying to find love and, you know,
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: myself included. And, you know, when I meet someone, I
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: just think to myself, oh, my God, is he going
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: to be the person? I'm literally like, is this the person?
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: Is this the person?
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: Instead of just allowing the relationship to, you know. Unfold.
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: Evolve and unfold. I mean, who knows? Maybe I should
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: go on the Golden Bachelorette. You should.
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: Boy, would they love to have you.
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: I don't think.
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: Honestly, Kelly, there is not a guy good enough out
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: there for you that we're going to have on the show.
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: They have a hard.
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: Time finding men to be on the show, to be
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: honest with you. And the older men, younger men, they
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: have a whole slew of them that want to be
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: on the show because they see fame. Older men don't
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: see fame. They see, oh, why am I going to
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: do this to my life? Why am I going to
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: embarrass myself? Why am I going to do this? I
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: can just sit at home and watch football with my buddies.
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: And I don't think they care as much about finding men.
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: like they're chapter two as we do. Right. I, I
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: missed being a couple. I missed having my person. I
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: missed having couple friends and I don't think guys care
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: as much. They're just as happy having their guy friends going,
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: playing golf and watching football on the weekends where we're
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: looking for, like, we like our couple relationships. We like
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: going with other couples and I don't think guys care
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: as much.
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: Right. It's interesting because my last boyfriend, he had this
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: amazing friend group. And so we would spend so much
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: time together. And the wives and the girlfriends, we all
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: became so close and had so much fun. And as
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: much as I kind of mourn that relationship, I really,
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: really mourn the friendships. I was like, I was loving it.
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: I was like, oh my God, where are my girls?
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: I've had that before. Or you love their kids or
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: you love some other part of their life.
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: And I loved his kids. And we were having... the
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: best time. Literally, I was having so much fun. Okay.
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: So I did listen to your podcast with Susan and Kathy,
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: but I feel like maybe not everybody that's listening to
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: this podcast listened to that. So will you just tell
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: the listeners a little bit about what happened there? Because
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: I heard and it broke my heart, but I feel
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: like you did the right thing. But can you just
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: maybe give us a quick synopsis?
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's terrible because I had a breast cancer
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: scare and you know, in his defense, he didn't really,
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: I was, I didn't articulate it. I didn't say I'm
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: having a breast cancer scare. Something's really wrong with me.
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: I need to take care of it. I said, oh,
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: you know, just a little something. Cause I, I had
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: only known him for a couple of months and, you know,
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: I just didn't feel like I could put that kind
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: of responsibility on him. And then I knew I was
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: going on the show. So I was like, first of all,
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: I had this breast cancer scare and I was having,
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: I was literally like, when you have a scare like that, Joan,
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: The idea that I would not be able to– I'm
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: not going to cry, like literally. Yeah. The idea that
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: I was not going to be there for my kids
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: after I've done everything for my kids, put every single
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: cent that I've earned into their brain so they're going
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: to be the most, there can be the most amazing
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: children in the world. Yeah. Now that I wasn't going
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: to be there. I just was like, Oh my God.
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: Oh my God.
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: No.
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: Like it really, really, really hit me. Terrifying. And it's
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: not his responsibility. It isn't. I just really rubbed me
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: the wrong way. And then when I knew I was
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: going on the show, I just was like, I can't
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: go on a television show with someone that I, that
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: is not going to be a forever person. Yeah. And that,
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: that sign. And actually that was the most mature thing
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: that I've done in a really long time.
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: And it would have really changed your interactions with the
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: women on the show, because I think everybody else on
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: that show is single, right?
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: Right. Except for Luann. It would have been right. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: So I think it would have changed your interaction. So
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: like in the long run for like the health of
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: the show or for the health of you and you
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: maintaining your, you know, your normal persona. Like, I feel
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: like you probably did the right thing, but I love
• 20:42
  Speaker 2: that you just said it wasn't his responsibility. And I
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: think as women, we don't want to be dependent. Like
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: we don't want to seem like dependents. We want to
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: seem really independent and like, I'm going to, I can
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: take care of my own and I don't need you
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: to help me. And, but you were really vulnerable and
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: we don't feel comfortable being vulnerable. And that's right.
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: Right. Right. You know, again, like I know I always
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: say this, but I am from the Midwest and we're
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: just like, we just are take care of thing kind
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: of personalities. And in New York, it's like, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL>
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: And it's just like, I'm just not raised like that.
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: And so, and he's, and I'm not talking, saying that
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: he is, but most of my friends were like, oh
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: my God, you didn't go. And I was like, first
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: of all, like, I don't even understand what you're saying.
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: You're speaking so quickly. And I am like freaking out inside.
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: So can you turn down the volume on your concern?
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: And please just let me try to get through this.
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: There'd be a.
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: Text, please.
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: It's just a different way of, you know, honestly, it's
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: just a different upbringing. And So, I mean, you know, I,
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: I really, he's such a great guy and he is,
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: I mean, whoever gets to go out with him is
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: like so lucky because he's such a stellar human. I really, really,
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: really believe that.
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: Do you think there's ever going to be a chapter
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: two for you guys?
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: You know, I don't, I don't know. I mean, I
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: really don't know. I need to get through the show
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: and kind of just see where I am and when
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: the show, after the show finishes. And, you know, I just,
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: it's funny that you said that because like today I,
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: On my run, I was like, I just want to
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: give myself some grace, Joan. I've just been through so much.
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: The show is really exciting, but it's also very, very difficult.
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: And I just want to give myself a little grace.
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: And I think when I'm in that mode, the person
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: will be around for me at that time. Do you
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: know what I mean? I don't want to meet someone
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: right now. I'm like... I'm filming. The volume doesn't work.
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: You know, I have to fight with some real housewives.
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: I have an argument to have on camera. Dorinda hates
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: me right now.
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: And so, you know, I just want to just give
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: myself some grace and we'll, you know, we'll see what
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: happens after the, after the show.
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: So much about relationships are about finding the right person
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: at the right time. I mean, I think we've all
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: found the right person at the wrong time. And we've
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: all found the wrong person at the right time. Like
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: getting the timing perfectly with the right person is really,
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: really hard. He was just like the right.
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: Person at the wrong time. Yeah. He just was the
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: wrong time. So you never, you never, you never know. Yeah.
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: I'm just trying to like stay like in my own,
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: my personal, like personal, personal self bubble. I'm just trying
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: to stay like true to myself. And you never know. Yeah. Yeah.
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: You have to be seeing.
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: Well, I'm so glad that your breast cancer scare is over.
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: Thank you.
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: I wish you'd let me know. I would have flown
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: there and like snuggled down with pink fuzzy slippers with
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: you and gotten you through that.
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: Well, I was in LA with you. I had to
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: go on steroids because I was like such a mess
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: to come to LA. And I wanted to go to LA.
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: I was like, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna not live. Yeah. Wow.
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry, sweetie.
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: No, no, no. I mean, it's one of those things too.
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: You can't, you know, what are you going to do?
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: Be like, hey, Joan.
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: I'd have something like, well, I just, I had a
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: thyroid cancer scared. So I was coming off. So I
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: was going on to gold. I was going to be
• 24:15
  Speaker 2: gold in a bachelorette. And I had like a physical.
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: They make you to have a physical, which they should.
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: So I had a physical and had blood drawn. And
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: my thyroid hormone was really off, like really off. So
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: my doctor said, well, we don't have time to like
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: do scans and do all the tests we need to do.
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: You know, it'll be fine. Take care of it when
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: you get back. So now I am worried the entire,
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: so of course I Google it immediately. And it says,
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: if you're the, you know, numbers above like eight and
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: mine was like 12.5, you likely have thyroid cancer. And
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: I was like, oh my God. So I was like
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: brewing in my head the entire time I'm filming golden bachelorette.
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: I have this in my mind that I have thyroid cancer.
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: And so I get home and I have to do
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: press really soon after that. So there's only like a
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: month turnaround between you finish filming and the show comes out. So,
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: and when the show comes out the week, the show
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: comes out, you do all of your press in New
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: York city. So I am, I go and get a, um,
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: a sonogram of my thyroid and they do another blood
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: test and I'm waiting for the results and I'm thinking, okay, well,
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: so I got to figure out how I'm going to
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: do this. I'm going to probably have to have surgery
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: and then probably have to remove my thyroid. And I've
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: read all about it and it's, you know, somewhat curable
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: and like I could be okay, but I'm just like
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: going through this whole thing. And, but I'm like, I
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: don't want this to be my story. I don't want
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: cancer to be my story coming off of the golden bachelorette.
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: That's all they'll talk about if that's what happened. So
• 25:35
  Speaker 2: I'm going to keep it a secret and I'm going
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: to wear all high dresses. So I have this whole
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: idea of how I'm going to get through like the
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: next four months without anybody knowing that I have thyroid cancer. Well,
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: it comes out that I just have nodules on my
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: thyroid and I just have to have them checked every year.
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: And they're fine. And they could turn into something, but
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: very likely won't. So, but it was like, I was
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: scared for like three months. I was just, I was
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: sick to my stomach. Every time I thought about it,
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: I had like a panic attack. I mean, of course.
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: But I love that you're so like organized, trying to
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: figure out what the turtleneck. I'm like.
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: I'm going to wear high neck dresses, like sleeveless. They're
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: going to be really pretty, but I'm going to have
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: this big scar here that I'm at the hide.
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: Right. Yep.
• 26:13
  Speaker 2: It was all about the dresses. I know.
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: Oh my God. I mean, that's so stressful too when
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: you're filming and you're like looking for love and trying
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: to be vulnerable and be open.
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: And just trying to keep pushing that back, pushing that back.
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: Oh my God.
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: I didn't tell a soul. I told no one.
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: Oh my God. So I have a really interesting question.
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: How have you gone about introducing men to your children
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: while you were dating?
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: So I think it's a little easier. I was married
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: for 32 years. I was with John for 36. And
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: my kids were grown.
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: John passed away. So my youngest was 25. My oldest
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: was 31. So I have four kids. So between 25
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: and 31. So, like, introducing them, it wasn't like I
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: was saying, like, here is potentially a new person in
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: your life that you're going to have to live with
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: or that's going to act like a father to you
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: or going to be, like, some, like, in some capacity, like,
• 27:14
  Speaker 2: affecting their lives that much. They had all moved out
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: of my home and they all had lives of their own.
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: Some of them, one of my, two of my kids
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: had kids of their own already. So, really, after John died,
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: my kids were all, you know, kind of grown. And
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: by the time chalk came into their life, they were
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: even out of my house. So I don't think it
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: was super hard for me. And they wanted me to
• 27:33
  Speaker 2: find somebody. They were really open to me finding somebody.
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: I introduced them only to like two men. And I'd
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: be like, oh, like Frank's going to come over and
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: watch a game, like the football game with us. And,
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: you know, so that was okay. It was more uncomfortable
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: for me to introduce men to my mother-in-law. I'm still very,
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: very close to my mother-in-law. I see her several times
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: a week. She lives very close to me. she babysits
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: one of my grandkids twice a week. You know, she,
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: I'm very, very, very close to my mother-in-law and that
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: was actually more comfortable, uncomfortable for me to introduce her
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: to somebody. And she was always, couldn't have been any nicer,
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: very welcoming, but that was hard for me.
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: How about you? Um, you know, so when I, when my,
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: you know, my kids were very, very young when I
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: got divorced, they were, they were five and seven. And
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: so again, like my ex-husband lived next door with the
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: wall between us.
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: Um, so The Great Wall of China. The Great Wall
• 28:28
  Speaker 2: of New York.
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: And because I was working in magazines and I didn't
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: have to always be in the office. I just went
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: to the office for certain things. But most of the
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: things I was doing was writing and people would come
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: and meet me. The photographers would come meet me. The
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: stylists would come meet me because I had young kids.
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: And so there was always people around, always. And if
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: there was someone that I was going on a date
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: with and they would see them They'd be like, hi,
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: you know, whatever. They wouldn't even flinch. They never even,
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: they never were even like, who are you dating? Who's
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: that person?
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: Like. It could have been a work colleague. They didn't know.
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: They didn't differentiate between the people coming in and out.
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: So that was easy.
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: Okay. It was a lot easier for me. And, you know,
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: I mean, there was, you know, there weren't that many
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: guys that I would bring into my family home. Clearly.
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: How about when they were teenagers? I'm guessing at that
• 29:19
  Speaker 2: point they may have noticed things a little different, like
• 29:20
  Speaker 2: the way you acted to people in your home.
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: But still, they didn't, I never said anything. And there
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: was just so many people all the time. I mean,
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: I'm talking like a lot of people and a lot
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: of gay men were always around me. And so they
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: just never, they just didn't, you know, unless there was
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: like a special friend, I would say like this is
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: a special friend. that's what my therapist told me to
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: do so you know that's what i would say and
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: they'd be like what is the special friend and i was.
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: Like we're not gonna go into details yeah exactly.
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: Right. So, but I think it's, I think it's all,
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: it's very subjective. You know, it's like, like you were saying,
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: like your kids were okay, but your mother-in-law, which I
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: love so much that you guys are so close. That's
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: so beautiful. But I think that, you know, if you're like,
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: you know, if you're living in a house and you're
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: living in like Illinois where I'm from and you know,
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: a guy comes over, it's obvious when you're living in
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: New York city and you work from home and all
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: these people are coming into your house, it's not as obvious.
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: So you and I kind of had it easy, really.
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: We didn't have that awkward, this is a man that
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: is special to me in my life now. And you're
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: going to have to like him, or I hope you're
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: going to like him.
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: And by the way, I mean, this is an awful
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: thing to say, but even the guys that I did date,
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: even if they were the best guys in the world,
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: I was so laser focused on making money for my
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: kids that even if they were unbelievably fantastic, my focus
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: was making money for my children. And they were second,
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: and they knew it. Well, you know what?
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: I'm not sure if that ever changes.
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: It's hard for a man. It's hard. It's hard for
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: a man to be.
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: I have to be completely honest about that. I'm not
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: sure my focus, a man will ever be come before
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: my kids, no matter what I, and my kids are grown.
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: Like my, my oldest is 36 and my youngest is
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: 30 and my kids will always be number one. Cause
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: you know what? You only get one mom. I could
• 31:10
  Speaker 2: probably have a million men or maybe not. Maybe I'll
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: never have another man again, whatever. Um, but yeah, My
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: kids only ever have me as their mother and that
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: will always be my number one position in life is
• 31:23
  Speaker 2: their mother.
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: And I love that. And I think that's like a beautiful, beautiful,
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: beautiful sentiment. And I feel the same way.
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: You think we will find men that will think that's okay?
• 31:34
  Speaker 2: Like accept that position.
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: I think it has to be a very, very healthy man.
• 31:37
  Speaker 2: Yep.
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: Who has a lot of respect for, I mean, that's why,
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: you know, it's like I have all these, you know,
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: I have all these like parameters for these guys. They
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: have to be like a very healthy human, not like physically.
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: I'm talking mentally healthy human. Yeah, right. Because I could
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: not be with a man who doesn't have respect for
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: his ex-wife. If you talk badly about your ex-wife or
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: are disrespectful to them in any way possible, like that's
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: just not my vibe. Like I know people think it's fun.
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: It's not my thing. It's like you have to figure
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: it out. And if you can't figure it out, you know,
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: then that's something that you need to.
• 32:14
  Speaker 2: You know, you may need a therapist before you, we
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: get to get back together. I feel like it's a,
• 32:18
  Speaker 2: it's a whole, well, I feel like it's a whole
• 32:20
  Speaker 2: element about being a gentleman. Like my, I was raised,
• 32:23
  Speaker 2: my father was the ultimate gentleman. He never, he never cussed.
• 32:29
  Speaker 2: He never spoke poorly about really anybody. He just was
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: a kind human. He immigrated here from Holland. He was
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: just a gentleman. And I, like my, so my bar
• 32:41
  Speaker 2: is very high for men when it comes, we're talking
• 32:44
  Speaker 2: ill about people, like talking about ex-wives or talking about
• 32:46
  Speaker 2: previous relationships. I just don't feel like a gentleman does that.
• 32:50
  Speaker 2: And so like, that's, that's a, that's a problem for me.
• 32:53
  Speaker 2: That's a red flag for me. John does not talk
• 32:56
  Speaker 2: about his wife poorly. I know instances, I know why
• 32:59
  Speaker 2: they're divorced, but I know very few stories. I know
• 33:02
  Speaker 2: very little. He says, you know, I, he's, she's the
• 33:06
  Speaker 2: mother of my kids and, They had a healthy relationship
• 33:09
  Speaker 2: and now he's really good about not talking about his ex-wife.
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: I love that. Yeah. I love that because that makes you,
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: you know, I think that, I think the bottom line
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: to that is that like what makes a woman feel safe.
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: And when you're constantly talking ill about your, your ex, uh,
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: it doesn't make you feel safe.
• 33:27
  Speaker 2: It really doesn't because if he talks poorly about an
• 33:30
  Speaker 2: ex and he'll talk poorly about you to the next woman,
• 33:33
  Speaker 2: if there's an ex-woman.
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Exactly.
• 33:36
  Speaker 2: Um, Are there instances you wish you could have done
• 33:41
  Speaker 2: different when it came to dating as a single parent?
• 33:45
  Speaker 2: Do you wish you had spent more time? You'd given
• 33:47
  Speaker 2: more to a guy or given less to a guy
• 33:49
  Speaker 2: and skip the whole thing.
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: You know, and like, I just, you know, I, I
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: just kind of said, I nodded to that about, you know,
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: I just was working so much and I, you know, I,
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: you can't, I mean, I, I was working, my impetus
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: was pure. Yeah. Like I was working because I was
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: educating brains. I was not working because I wanted a
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: new Chanel bag. No, no, I, no, I want not, no,
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: I want a new Chanel bag. No, but I'm just
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: being facetious. But I mean, but back then, like I
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: wasn't working cause I was feeling gorgeous and I was like, wow,
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: I'm going to work and I'm going to be this worker.
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: Like I was working because I was making money and
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: I had a motive and I knew what the end
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: game was. And I knew how much money I needed
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: to make every single semester. And I made it happen.
• 34:40
  Speaker 2: Do you think that you maybe wasted some of your
• 34:43
  Speaker 2: really good years? So like this age, it's very hard
• 34:47
  Speaker 2: to find a single man that we want. Do you,
• 34:50
  Speaker 2: but back then, like when we were younger and I
• 34:53
  Speaker 2: was still married. So when you were younger, Do you
• 34:56
  Speaker 2: think that you wasted some years where there were maybe
• 34:59
  Speaker 2: way more eligible men?
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: Yes. I mean, I really wanted to have more kids.
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: I mean, I thought I would have had like four
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: or five kids. I always wanted kids. My ex-husband was
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: older and he loves my girls, but he didn't want
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: to have a lot of kids. Yeah. And I really,
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: really wanted that. I think that when I was single,
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: I was a big model. I was an editor. So
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: I was like the bright and shiny toy for the
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: single guys in New York. And instead of seeing me
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: as someone that they wanted to make sure that I
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: was safe... they wanted to take me out to dinner
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: and they were like, Oh my God, look what I'm
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: going out with.
• 35:41
  Speaker 2: I was like, Oh yeah.
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: He's like you. I'm like, wow. Great for you.
• 35:45
  Speaker 2: I bet they did love being with you.
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: And you know, that was nice for them. But I always,
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: I honestly would leave dates and I just felt like
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: very like disappointed is not the right word. I just
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: was just like, why did I waste my time? I
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: could have been home like, you know, drinking tea, reading books,
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: hanging out with my kids, watching stupid movies. Yeah. Yeah.
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: you know, screaming at them about homework. I could have
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: been doing the things that I love to do. Yeah.
• 36:11
  Speaker 2: Because you were working all day. So you were, you
• 36:13
  Speaker 2: were probably tired by the end of the day. And
• 36:14
  Speaker 2: then to make an effort to go with a guy
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: and it not be great was probably like, why did
• 36:18
  Speaker 2: I waste my time?
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: Right. Yeah. I used to think to myself, why did
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: I just waste my time? Yeah.
• 36:24
  Speaker 2: So I love Shana's story when she talked about reconnecting, um,
• 36:29
  Speaker 2: with the guy, I'm trying to remember his name that
• 36:31
  Speaker 2: she was, had been in love with before. Um, And
• 36:35
  Speaker 2: the kind of reconnect with him throughout her dating career. Greg. Yes, Greg.
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: Thank you. Thank you.
• 36:41
  Speaker 2: And they finally, it sounds like maybe reconnected at the
• 36:45
  Speaker 2: right person at the right time. Would you ever go
• 36:49
  Speaker 2: back and visit maybe an old, old love? I know
• 36:51
  Speaker 2: we talked about your most recent old love and maybe
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: there's potential, but is there somebody lurking in the back
• 36:57
  Speaker 2: of your brain that you dated or you would have
• 37:00
  Speaker 2: liked to have dated that is still lurking there and
• 37:02
  Speaker 2: you'd like to maybe reconnect with?
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: I mean, there was one guy that I really, really
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: liked that my kids really liked, but he had just
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: gotten out of a marriage and he wasn't ready. And
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: his marriage didn't fare well for him, but he was
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: a great, great guy. And I really, really liked him.
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: But again, I'm also kind of, you know, it's like
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: I know if they're just having a good time. And
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: I'm just like, no, no, no, this is not the vibe. No, no, no.
• 37:28
  Speaker 2: Have you ever thought about like trying to find him?
• 37:32
  Speaker 2: Or do you still know? I mean, I know where
• 37:33
  Speaker 2: he is.
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: Like he'll DM me all the time. He's like Keeks.
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: My nickname is Keeky. So he's like, Keeks, looking great.
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my God, stop. Okay.
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: So do you think he's a playboy?
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: I mean, I don't think he's a playboy. I just
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: think that he went through a lot. And I think
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: that it's a testament to him to like where he
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: is in his life because he's still not married. And
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: he still never had kids. And he loved kids. And
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: he's a very bright guy. Very successful guy.
• 37:58
  Speaker 2: And never had kids. It sounds like that. Well, for
• 38:02
  Speaker 2: a guy, that ship hasn't sailed. They can have them
• 38:04
  Speaker 2: when they're much older. But I wanted more kids.
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 38:08
  Speaker 2: And so you guys would have been perfect together.
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: Right. Exactly.
• 38:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: Okay. And I mean, when Shana talks about meeting Greg
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: and just is like, I mean, her voice, the tone
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: in her voice, I was like, oh my God. She's done.
• 38:24
  Speaker 2: She found him.
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: She's like, there you are.
• 38:26
  Speaker 2: Done. Yeah. She literally pointed and said, you're the one
• 38:29
  Speaker 2: I want to spend the rest of my life with.
• 38:31
  Speaker 2: But he kept playing in her story. He never left
• 38:35
  Speaker 2: her book. He had chapters throughout her whole story. And
• 38:39
  Speaker 2: it just finally hit the right person at the right time.
• 38:43
  Speaker 2: And that is key.
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: And then when she said, oh my God, I would
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: marry him.
• 38:58
  Speaker 2: I'm dying to marry him.
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: I know. She said, I'm dying to marry him. I
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: love that. I love that.
• 39:03
  Speaker 2: What are you waiting for?
• 39:06
  Speaker 1: I don't know how much I like him. And she's like,
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: I just want to marry him. I feel like we're.
• 39:11
  Speaker 2: Going to hear an engagement rumor soon.
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: I just thought that was so honest. I really liked
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: her honesty. I really liked her. I was just like, oh,
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: my God.
• 39:18
  Speaker 2: And I didn't expect to at all.
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: Me neither. I loved her. I know.
• 39:23
  Speaker 2: I know. No, I was very I was.
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: Like, well, cause Jane is so sweet and soft and
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: just very thoughtful. So I was like, maybe it's just
• 39:32
  Speaker 1: because Jane, you know, Jana is so sweet like that,
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: that she's bringing this out in her. And I was like, no, no, no.
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: This woman is like, she knows what's going on. She's
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: very clued into her life and how she's navigated her world.
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: I have said some stuff in the past. I have
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: to admit that I would, that of how like, you know,
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: she is with Travis's new wife and their kids. So
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: I have said something, but I take it all back
• 39:59
  Speaker 1: because I just was so moved by her today. I just,
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: I did. I just thought she was, she's a really,
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: really beautiful human.
• 40:05
  Speaker 2: I loved how she owned all of her mistakes in
• 40:09
  Speaker 2: the past and, and like kind of shown how she's grown.
• 40:12
  Speaker 2: And I think she's like, like, and, Sounds like she's
• 40:15
  Speaker 2: super close to her kids. And like now she found
• 40:17
  Speaker 2: another love. I just feel like maybe she finally found
• 40:20
  Speaker 2: the right one. And sometimes it takes people five tries
• 40:23
  Speaker 2: or however many tries. Right. And then they find it.
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: She might be on. When she was talking about her
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: daughter and how she has to go back and forth
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: from L.A. to Texas because she goes to the emergency room.
• 40:35
  Speaker 2: That's concerning.
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: I mean, that literally broke my heart.
• 40:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I listened to that. That broke my heart. She
• 40:41
  Speaker 2: spoke about it very matter-of-factly, and I'm sure it's way
• 40:44
  Speaker 2: more emotional than she let on because when your child
• 40:47
  Speaker 2: is suffering, particularly mentally, honestly, I almost feel like that's
• 40:51
  Speaker 2: even harder. I've had kids that have suffered, especially after
• 40:55
  Speaker 2: my husband died. We all suffered. It was all really,
• 40:59
  Speaker 2: really hard. It's hard to– so if they have a
• 41:03
  Speaker 2: broken arm or if they have a concussion or if
• 41:06
  Speaker 2: they have something wrong with their eyes, you go and
• 41:08
  Speaker 2: you seek medical attention and they fix it. mental illness
• 41:11
  Speaker 2: is so much harder and it sounds like, yeah, her
• 41:14
  Speaker 2: daughter is really, really like she's 21 years old. It
• 41:17
  Speaker 2: sounds like it's just super hard to deal with that.
• 41:19
  Speaker 2: And it sounds like she's probably in college. Like all
• 41:22
  Speaker 2: of that is hard.
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: I don't know. Yeah.
• 41:24
  Speaker 2: That would scare me.
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I totally agree. And I, that's exactly what I thought.
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: I was just like, that's something that you can't like,
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: you can't put a bandaid on. No. Do you know
• 41:35
  Speaker 1: what I mean? Like you can't come and say like,
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: we're going to go to the doctor. We're going to
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: get that taken care of. Yeah.
• 41:39
  Speaker 2: This is long-term. It takes a while to heal like
• 41:44
  Speaker 2: from mental illness, from things like that.
• 41:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 41:46
  Speaker 2: And 21 is a really vulnerable age and hard just
• 41:49
  Speaker 2: to be a 21 year old girl anyway, with all
• 41:51
  Speaker 2: the social, you know, pressures that we have. I mean,
• 41:54
  Speaker 2: I remember being 21. I mean, it was like maybe
• 41:57
  Speaker 2: some of the best times in my life and probably
• 41:59
  Speaker 2: some of the hardest.
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: But also she has on top of all of that,
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: she has famous parents. Yeah. Very famous parents. Yeah.
• 42:08
  Speaker 2: And you wonder how that all plays out that are
• 42:10
  Speaker 2: in the news and have had some, you know, have
• 42:12
  Speaker 2: had a past. And so that, you know, their past
• 42:16
  Speaker 2: follows you also. People know about you. And, you know,
• 42:19
  Speaker 2: they even had to talk about, she mentioned that she
• 42:22
  Speaker 2: connected with Travis and said, do our kids have security
• 42:25
  Speaker 2: in New York? Like, oh, kids are in New York.
• 42:26
  Speaker 2: Do they have security? I'm like, wow, your kids have
• 42:29
  Speaker 2: to have security? That's kind of scary.
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: I thought so too. I was like, security? Huh? Yeah. Honestly,
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: I was like, wait a minute. I was like, security?
• 42:42
  Speaker 2: Oh, they're Kardashians.
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 42:44
  Speaker 2: But her kids with Travis are not Kardashians. And she
• 42:48
  Speaker 2: was talking about her kids having security.
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: Oh, but her kids, they travel with them.
• 42:53
  Speaker 2: Travel with them also.
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. Okay.
• 42:55
  Speaker 2: That makes sense.
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: So when they're together in New York or wherever around- Kourtney,
• 43:00
  Speaker 1: they have to have that.
• 43:01
  Speaker 2: And they have it with them.
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 43:02
  Speaker 2: That makes more sense. I was like, wow. I mean,
• 43:04
  Speaker 2: he was famous. I mean, obviously, but like.
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: Really famous.
• 43:07
  Speaker 2: But like, I mean, yeah, but I mean, I wouldn't
• 43:09
  Speaker 2: think that he would need security.
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't either.
• 43:11
  Speaker 2: I wouldn't think, I wouldn't think most people that pass
• 43:13
  Speaker 2: him on the street aren't going to know who he is.
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: I agree. I was like, wait, what? Yeah.
• 43:17
  Speaker 2: I was like, what are you talking about?
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: I didn't understand that at all. Yeah.
• 43:21
  Speaker 2: So our kids do deal with that too. So like
• 43:23
  Speaker 2: they are really in the limelight with the Kardashians.
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: Yes. I mean, that is a terrible, terrible thing. Terrible life.
• 43:30
  Speaker 2: They didn't ask for that.
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 43:33
  Speaker 2: Especially since like he, they got thrust into this as
• 43:35
  Speaker 2: kind of like adults.
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: But remember like, you know, Kim, she was held at gunpoint.
• 43:41
  Speaker 1: I know.
• 43:42
  Speaker 2: When she was in Paris, when she was robbed.
• 43:44
  Speaker 1: Yes. Scary.
• 43:45
  Speaker 2: You know, I totally get how the Kardashians need security.
• 43:48
  Speaker 2: I didn't realize I, now I get the whole security.
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: Musicians, children.
• 43:52
  Speaker 2: Totally get that.
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 43:53
  Speaker 2: I would be scared for my kids. And that must
• 43:55
  Speaker 2: be like hard on her knowing that her kids are,
• 43:58
  Speaker 2: in that kind of situation. Like she had to ask,
• 44:01
  Speaker 2: do they have security in New York? Like, do you
• 44:02
  Speaker 2: have to worry about your kids at that level? That security.
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 44:07
  Speaker 2: That's scary.
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: It's really scary. Yeah.
• 44:10
  Speaker 2: That they were dragged into that now life also. It's
• 44:13
  Speaker 2: like almost being a Royal.
• 44:15
  Speaker 1: Right. It is. It's exactly. Yes.
• 44:19
  Speaker 2: Like you have to worry about kidnapping and crap like that.
• 44:21
  Speaker 1: That's a horror. That's a horror story.
• 44:23
  Speaker 2: That's a whole other story that we should probably do
• 44:25
  Speaker 2: a podcast on. Oh, this is good because I think
• 44:28
  Speaker 2: you have comments about this. It sounded like Shaina and Travis' wife,
• 44:31
  Speaker 2: Kourtney Kardashian, are not very close. Kelly, how have you
• 44:35
  Speaker 2: handled that dynamic when your ex-husband has had a new
• 44:39
  Speaker 2: woman in his life? Was it difficult for you?
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: Okay, you're never going to believe it. Before we got
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: divorced or separated, I introduced Jill to one of my
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: friends who's a beautiful, beautiful human. Um, and I was
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: just like, here you go.
• 44:56
  Speaker 2: I was like, I knew that wasn't right.
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: So I introduced them and she is unbelievable. And they
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: were together for a very long time.
• 45:04
  Speaker 2: I love that. Did you ever ask him to return
• 45:06
  Speaker 2: the favor? Uh, no, no, you didn't think, you.
• 45:10
  Speaker 1: Know, I just, I couldn't, you know, he's, he's been,
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: you know, he's dated a million and married a million,
• 45:16
  Speaker 1: a million models. And I just couldn't have that around
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: my kids.
• 45:22
  Speaker 2: So you did it for your kids. You wanted him
• 45:24
  Speaker 2: to have the right person.
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: I did.
• 45:26
  Speaker 2: And you did a great job.
• 45:27
  Speaker 1: I did. I can't tell you her name, but she
• 45:31
  Speaker 1: is a fantastic, fantastic human. I love that.
• 45:36
  Speaker 2: So they're not together anymore, but they did spend a
• 45:38
  Speaker 2: lot of time together.
• 45:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean, they were together for over seven years.
• 45:41
  Speaker 1: I mean, a long time. So it was a really
• 45:43
  Speaker 1: nice relationship. I'm very proud of that, actually, Joan.
• 45:46
  Speaker 2: You did a good job, and I'm proud that you
• 45:48
  Speaker 2: did that. That took a lot of Kind of self-confidence
• 45:51
  Speaker 2: because like handing off the person that like you once
• 45:55
  Speaker 2: loved is even probably hard even if you don't love
• 45:57
  Speaker 2: them anymore. Like they're still part of you and part
• 45:59
  Speaker 2: of your story and to give them another story, like
• 46:02
  Speaker 2: start the next chapter, help them start was really great
• 46:05
  Speaker 2: of you.
• 46:06
  Speaker 1: I just was like, my father was just like, we
• 46:08
  Speaker 1: need to tie a bow on this. We're done. Yeah.
• 46:11
  Speaker 2: So let me ask you, is he married now or
• 46:14
  Speaker 2: does he have a new relationship?
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: He does. He has a great relationship and she's really,
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: really smart and been very, very, very kind to my
• 46:23
  Speaker 1: ex and he's very happy. Great. And she's very, very
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: gracious to my kids and that means so much.
• 46:30
  Speaker 2: Have your kids liked all of his relationships since your
• 46:33
  Speaker 2: divorce or?
• 46:35
  Speaker 1: You know, I have to say like, You know, he's,
• 46:38
  Speaker 1: you know, he went back to a couple of younger models,
• 46:40
  Speaker 1: which is, you know, it's fine. That's like, you know,
• 46:42
  Speaker 1: that's his vibe, which is fine. But then he also
• 46:44
  Speaker 1: dated one and one of his girlfriends was, is my client.
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: And I love her. And she's a fantastic Venezuelan, brilliant,
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: brilliant woman. And then his current girlfriend is just a very,
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: very smart English woman. And she's lovely. So, you know
• 47:00
  Speaker 1: what I mean? Like, I just feel like, okay. Yeah.
• 47:03
  Speaker 1: And the girls are great. I mean, by the way,
• 47:05
  Speaker 1: even if they weren't, my girls would be like, nice
• 47:07
  Speaker 1: to see you.
• 47:08
  Speaker 2: Cause you raise nice girls.
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: Cause I'm like, you don't say anything bad about anyone.
• 47:13
  Speaker 1: Like even in, even in Jess, like it does, it's like, doesn't,
• 47:16
  Speaker 1: it's just a disservice to you.
• 47:18
  Speaker 2: Well, you've sent a great example that you don't need
• 47:20
  Speaker 2: to put other people down to make yourself feel good.
• 47:23
  Speaker 2: That's not right.
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: No, no.
• 47:25
  Speaker 2: You do a good example for your daughters.
• 47:27
  Speaker 1: Can you tell my, my co-stars that?
• 47:30
  Speaker 2: I really feel like I need to come on and
• 47:32
  Speaker 2: have a talk with them. I don't think they know
• 47:34
  Speaker 2: how nice you are. I don't know how they could
• 47:35
  Speaker 2: have missed that. I'll do guest of show. And I'm
• 47:39
  Speaker 2: just here to tell you all people like to make
• 47:41
  Speaker 2: an announcement.
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: Public announcement.
• 47:45
  Speaker 2: You obviously don't know the Kelly I know. Give her
• 47:50
  Speaker 2: a chance.
• 47:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah.
• 47:52
  Speaker 2: Well, I mean, they got to make TV.
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: I had a percent. No, it's all good.
• 47:55
  Speaker 2: That's where you guys are getting that award.
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: Getting the award. It's be so fun. But, you know,
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: it's like, I mean, I, you know, I appreciate you
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: complimenting me on that and that, you know, it took
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: a lot, took a lot out of me. Do you
• 48:11
  Speaker 1: know what I mean? Like I just was, but I
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: knew what I had to do. I knew that I
• 48:16
  Speaker 1: had to not be with him anymore. I knew I
• 48:19
  Speaker 1: had to start my own life. I knew I had
• 48:21
  Speaker 1: to really, really be laser focused on work. And I
• 48:24
  Speaker 1: knew I had to go for it because I was
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: 36 years old. And it was like the window was,
• 48:29
  Speaker 1: if I was going to meet someone, it was then.
• 48:33
  Speaker 1: And because I had to work so much.
• 48:35
  Speaker 2: You just put that on the back burner.
• 48:37
  Speaker 1: I didn't see people, Joan. I didn't even like, I didn't,
• 48:40
  Speaker 1: I would be like, and I mean, you can ask
• 48:43
  Speaker 1: any guy that if I gave you their number and
• 48:45
  Speaker 1: you're like, so what'd you think of Kelly? They'd be like, Oh,
• 48:47
  Speaker 1: she was so great. She just was having a good time.
• 48:50
  Speaker 1: Like they would never say she was serious. They would
• 48:53
  Speaker 1: never say, oh, she wanted to get married or they
• 48:56
  Speaker 1: would never say like, you know, she wanted to have
• 48:58
  Speaker 1: more kids or I just, I just didn't give off
• 49:02
  Speaker 1: that energy. And, you know, guys really pick up on that.
• 49:05
  Speaker 2: I mean, and I don't think that you could have,
• 49:08
  Speaker 2: I don't think there's enough room in your life when
• 49:10
  Speaker 2: you talk about how much you were working and how
• 49:12
  Speaker 2: much time you wanted to spend with your kids. There
• 49:14
  Speaker 2: just wasn't enough time for a man. I mean, like,
• 49:15
  Speaker 2: where would he fit into that?
• 49:17
  Speaker 1: Right. You wouldn't have. Right.
• 49:19
  Speaker 2: And you did, you did it your way. And I
• 49:21
  Speaker 2: think a lot of women do it our way. And
• 49:22
  Speaker 2: that's why maybe there are so many single women out
• 49:25
  Speaker 2: there and not that many single men.
• 49:27
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 49:28
  Speaker 2: Kelly, I have had the best time talking. I think
• 49:30
  Speaker 2: we could stay on this podcast for like four hours,
• 49:31
  Speaker 2: but they're.
• 49:32
  Speaker 1: Making it now.
• 49:33
  Speaker 2: So are you ready to find love again in your
• 49:36
  Speaker 2: chapter two? We're here to help. Send us an email
• 49:39
  Speaker 2: or leave us a voicemail. All the info is in
• 49:42
  Speaker 2: the show notes. Follow us on socials too. I Do
• 49:44
  Speaker 2: Part Two, an iHeartRadio podcast for falling in love, is
• 49:48
  Speaker 2: the main objective.