Latest / New Manager Conversations with Fexingo: First 90 Days, Managing Former Peers, and Leadership Basics / How New Managers Can Take Ownership Without Overstepping
Transcript
- Lucas: So picture this: you're six weeks into a new manager role, and your team is responsible for a product launch that's already a month behind. Your VP asks you in the hallway, 'Who owns this?' Your instinct is to say 'I do' — but what does that actually mean? Luna: Right — do you own the decision, do you own the execution, or do you own the outcome? Those are three different things. Lucas: Exactly, and mixing them up is how new managers end up alienating their teams or burning themselves out. Today I want to talk about a concept I call 'the decision frontier' — a simple way to figure out where your ownership ends and your team's begins. Luna: I like that. Give me the scenario — the VP asks, and the new manager says 'I own it.' What happens next? Lucas: Well, it depends. If the manager then goes back to the team and says 'I told the VP I'm owning this, so here's what we're going to do,' they've just taken ownership over the team's work, not of the outcome. That's overreach. Luna: And the team feels like their autonomy got yanked away. I've seen that backfire — people disengage, or they start checking out because their manager is now doing their job. Lucas: Yeah, and that's the irony — the manager thinks they're being accountable, but they're actually undermining accountability. So let me explain the decision frontier. Luna: Please. Lucas: The decision frontier is a line you draw around the decisions your team owns. On one side are decisions that affect only the team's work — how to structure the code, which tasks to prioritize this week, how to test a feature. Those belong to the team. On the other side are decisions that affect the broader organization — whether to delay the launch date, how to communicate the delay to stakeholders, what resources to request. Those belong to you as the manager. Luna: So the frontier is about scope, not about authority. Lucas: Exactly. And the tricky part is that the frontier shifts based on context. For a new product with high uncertainty, you might draw the frontier closer to you. But for a mature product with a stable team, it should be further out. Luna: I think the hardest part for new managers is actually communicating that frontier to their team. If you don't say where the line is, people either assume you're going to step on their toes or assume you're going to leave them hanging. Lucas: So let's talk about a real case. I was working with a new engineering manager at a mid-size SaaS company — let's call her Priya. She was promoted from senior engineer to manage the team she'd been on for three years. Her first big project was a product launch that was already in trouble when she took over. Luna: Classic baptism by fire. Lucas: Right. The launch was six weeks late, and her VP asked her to 'take ownership' of getting it back on track. Priya's first instinct was to dive into the code — she was a great engineer — and start reassigning tasks herself. But that just made the team resentful. Luna: Because she was crossing the frontier into their decisions. Lucas: Yes. So we worked on a different approach. She drew her frontier: she would own the timeline and stakeholder communication. Her team would own how they built the features and how they solved technical problems. She communicated that clearly in a team meeting. Luna: Did it work? Lucas: It did, but it took a couple of weeks. The team had to trust that she wouldn't micromanage once they started making decisions. And she had to resist the urge to jump in when she saw them going down a suboptimal path. She learned to ask 'What's your plan here?' instead of saying 'You should do X.' Luna: I think that's the core skill — asking questions instead of giving answers. But it's hard when you know the answer. Lucas: It's especially hard when you were a senior engineer on that same team. You've solved similar problems before. But your role now is to enable the team to solve them, not to solve them yourself. Luna: Let me ask you this — what about when the team makes a decision that you think is clearly wrong? Do you let them fail? Lucas: That's the million-dollar question. My rule is: if the cost of failure is low and reversible, let them learn. If it's high or irreversible, you have to step in — but you should do it transparently. Say something like 'I see this going in a direction that worries me because of X. Can we talk through it?' Luna: So you're still respecting the frontier, but you're escalating the conversation. Lucas: Exactly. And the key is to frame it as a shared problem, not as you overruling them. You want to maintain the team's ownership while injecting your perspective. Luna: That's a good framework. I also think new managers often forget to take ownership upward. The VP doesn't just want to hear 'the team is working on it' — they want to know that you have a handle on the situation. Lucas: Right, and that's another dimension of the frontier. You own the communication with your boss. So when the VP asks 'Who owns this?', you say 'I do' — and then you explain what you own: the timeline, the resource plan, the risk mitigation. You don't say 'I own the code sprint' because that's the team's job. Luna: And you protect the team from the VP's pressure. You're the buffer. Lucas: Exactly. That's actually one of the most valuable things a manager can do. If you absorb the heat from above and translate it into clear priorities for the team, you're providing immense value. Luna: I want to go back to something you said earlier about the frontier shifting. How do you know when to move it? Lucas: Great question. I think there are three signals. One: your team is making good decisions consistently — push the frontier out. Two: your team is struggling or there's high uncertainty — pull it in temporarily. Three: the stakes are unusually high — keep it closer until the crisis passes. Luna: And you communicate the shift explicitly, right? You don't just start showing up to their stand-ups and assigning tasks. Lucas: Absolutely. You say something like 'For the next two weeks, while we're in crunch mode, I'm going to be more hands-on with prioritization. After the launch, we'll go back to the usual rhythm.' That way the team knows it's temporary and why. Luna: That builds trust. They know you're not just a control freak. Lucas: And that trust is the foundation for real ownership. When the team trusts you to respect their frontier, they're more willing to take ownership themselves. They'll come to you with problems earlier, because they know you won't just take over. Luna: So let's talk about a practical tool. If I'm a new manager listening to this, what's one thing I can do tomorrow? Lucas: Draw your decision frontier on paper. List the key decisions your team faces in the next month. For each one, write 'mine' or 'theirs' or 'shared.' Then share that list with your team and ask if they agree. You'll be surprised how often you're holding onto something they should own, or vice versa. Luna: I like that. It's concrete and it opens a conversation. Lucas: And if you're feeling brave, share it with your boss too. They might have a different idea of what you should own, and it's better to align early. Luna: Yeah, that's a good point. Speaking of alignment — we should probably step back for a second and mention that this show is ad-free and listener supported. A small number of you chip in monthly through buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo, and that's what keeps these episodes coming without commercials. If the show has helped you think through a career move or a tough management conversation, that's the way to keep it going. Lucas: Absolutely. We don't run ads, so it's truly a community thing. And it allows us to dive into topics like this without any sponsor constraints. So thanks to those who already contribute. Luna: Okay, back to the frontier. One more thing I want to touch on: how do you handle a team member who crosses the frontier from the other side — someone who tries to make decisions that are yours to make? Lucas: That's a great point. It happens especially when you have a high-performer who used to be your peer. They might go directly to stakeholders with a timeline change or promise resources you don't have. And you have to address it. Luna: How do you do that without damaging the relationship? Lucas: Privately, and with curiosity. Say 'Hey, I noticed you committed to a new deadline with the product team. I want to make sure we're aligned on who owns timeline decisions. Going forward, can you loop me in before making those promises?' It's not about blame, it's about clarifying the process. Luna: And if they push back? Lucas: Then you have a deeper conversation about roles and trust. But in my experience, most people just need to know the boundary exists. They're not trying to overstep — they're just used to operating independently. Luna: Fair enough. So to tie it all together: ownership for a new manager means knowing what you own and what your team owns, communicating that clearly, and adjusting as circumstances change. It's not about doing everything yourself. Lucas: Exactly. And it's a skill you build over time. The first few times you draw your frontier, you'll probably get it wrong. But if you keep iterating with your team, you'll get better at finding the right balance. Luna: I think that's a good note to end on. We'll put a link to a decision frontier template in the show notes for anyone who wants to try it. Lucas: Great idea. And if you have a question about a specific ownership dilemma, send it in — we might cover it in a future episode.