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The one about my cancer journey · Deep Dive into Joy

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This is Deep Dive into Joy, and I'm your host,
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Gina Rickner. Hey Joy listeners, it's your host
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Gina. Welcome to Deep Dive into Joy. Today's
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episode I'm going to talk about my cancer journey,
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kind of what it looked like, what I went through
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before everything happened and after, kind of
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like how I'm living now. But this first episode
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is going to look a little different. I would
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like to have guests on, which I will. So hopefully
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Probably next week, I will have someone on. Kind
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of just want to be about testimonies and stories
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or journeys, whatever you've been through. And
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we're just going to go and talk about it and,
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you know, share what we have to share with everyone.
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Just really how we find joy in everyday life,
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how God brings us joy in the midst of storms
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and just, you know, everything like that. Like
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I said, today's a little different. It's just
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myself and I will be talking about my journey.
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I am going to start every podcast asking, you
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know, what's your favorite drink? And since it's
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just me today, my favorite drink that I have
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with me is chamomile tea. I drink the FGO brand.
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It's organic. And I love to add local raw honey
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to it. So let's get started. Were you ever in
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the middle of a storm wondering why God didn't
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show up for you in the midst of your heart or
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heartbreak? I was in the middle of a storm really
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the last couple of years. I lost an aunt unexpectedly
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who was like a mom to me growing up. Then we
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were walking through an Alzheimer's disease with
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my gram and I had to sit by her bedside, you
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know, kind of just watching her suffer through
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that horrible disease and eventually being called
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home to the Lord. And shortly following that,
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which was last year, we lost my father -in -law
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unexpectedly. And then that summer we lost our
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Nan. But on top of already going through many
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stressors of raising an teenage daughter, a son,
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being a wife, you know, then came June of 2024.
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I... Had to sit in the doctor's office and hear
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the words. You have cancer. I was only 36 And
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I knew at that moment that my faith was surely
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being tested I Have since went through a long
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nodule removal and removal of two leg masses
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I Went through seven months of immunotherapy
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and 30 rounds of radiation every day Monday through
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Friday I just got finished with that last month.
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I really think you just go through all of that.
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I really think the radiation was probably the
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hardest just pain wise, but you know the struggles
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are real no matter what you're walking through.
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It doesn't have to be a cancer diagnosis. We
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run through life thinking we're immortal and
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tomorrow is promised. all the stressors and not
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actually taking the time to say yes to what God
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really wants us to say yes to. Not taking time
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to really slow down, listen to His voice, see
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His goodness and do His will. Maybe you ask yourself
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questions like, when is God going to right the
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wrongs? How will He bring me comfort to this
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situation? When will I get a break? How am I
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supposed to see His light in the darkness of
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this valley? Whatever your situation is right
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here right now, in your raw emotions and unanswered
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questions, I know it can be tempting to doubt
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God's goodness. When He allows trials and tribulations
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in our lives that don't feel good, seem good,
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or look good right now, it makes our faith quite
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weak. How are we to see the joy in such dark
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times? I remember with my journey, it was the
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start of summer and we were just getting ready
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to leave for vacation within the next couple
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of weeks. And all of that came to a halt in that
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doctor's office. I sat there crying, felt lost.
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I didn't know what to do, you know. Wrestling
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with God like haven't we been through enough
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already? The enemy instantly instilled me with
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fear Questioning God and why he would allow this
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our world was slipped upside down in the matter
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of seconds I Know you're asking Gina. How is
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this showing me to live in joy? Well, I get that
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It's important to know how and what brought me,
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you know, to be able to recognize joy and darkness.
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And that's really why I wanted to create this
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podcast. I told God and I leaned on the verse
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in Psalms 118 -17 that says, I will not die but
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live and declare the works of the Lord. And I
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told him that if he saved my life, that I could
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be here for my kids and my family. That I would
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do everything that I could To share my journey
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with others and try to help others as you know
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as much as I could and along the way And that's
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how this podcast was born So You know the enemy
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I feel like placed all that on me because I wasn't
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in God's Word every day I Didn't have God's Word
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to fight back And in John 10, 10 tells us the
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enemy, he comes to kill, steal and destroy. That's
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it. He roams this earth, like this earth is his
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domain to destroy our lives and relationships
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with God because he knows if he, you know, we
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let him in and he can get to us, then he can
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pull us away from God if we don't have the armor
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of God on. And that's exactly what Ephesians
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6 tells us. It tells us to put on the full armor
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of God. That is his word that allows us to recognize
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when the enemy is trying to destroy us and how
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to fight back against that It gives us truth
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against the enemy's lies And that's exactly what
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the enemy is Devil Satan he is a liar When we
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face anxiety depression dark valleys when we
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feel run down We have God's Word to lift us up
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I'm gonna shout out my uncle Brian Just because
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he loves fun facts and he is like a dad to me
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and I love him so much But this is kind of my
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fun fact And I don't know if y 'all knew this
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but in the Bible it says do not fear 365 times
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I believe that was one for each day That was
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to remind us each day do not fear This also proves
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God only intended us to live one day at a time
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Did you ever hear not to worry about tomorrow
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for it has enough of its own? We were meant to
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live in faith and see the joy in the moment of
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today Not sitting in fear of tomorrow or being
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burden of our past Friends, Jesus already forgave
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your past. Pick yourself up and see the joy in
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just that. Your sins are erased. So as I went
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through my diagnosis, I leaned into God's Word,
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which meant picking up my Bible every single
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day. Was I perfect at it? No, but I made it a
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habit. Filling my home with worship music when
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I'm feeling down or attacked. When I lay in my
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scans I'll sing praise music in my head or I'll
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pray or I'll repeat verses to myself. It really
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removes the fear and adds a sense of comfort.
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It lets me know God's presence is with me and
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known. I learned to take communion every day
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too, not as a ritual thing, but a thing of honor
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and what Jesus did for me on the cross and just
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for me to take that time every morning to remember.
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He is the healer of all my sickness and disease.
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I eventually came to learn that God didn't place
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this disease on me. He doesn't place things on
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you either. That's the enemy. That's his lies
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God wants us alive and well and doing his will
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He might allow us to go through something because
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it puts our focus back on him It increases our
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faith and joy and the small moments of life The
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last couple years I was in a really bad place
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I was grieving and I was grieving hard. I've
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learned to now go through my days, taking moments
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to pray, praise Him, and make sure I start my
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day with Jesus. If you learn to sit in the quiet
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and practice gratitude, this is where the joy
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is, friends. Keep your eyes open and you see
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the joy and hope God places all around you. He
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wants a relationship with you. All that means
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is giving your heart to him and surrender it
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all to him. Trust him full heartedly. Faith moves
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mountains and with faith brings joy. He doesn't
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want us looking so far into the future burdened
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by our past or so run down we can't see the joy
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in the here and now. Fear, anxiety, worry, rebellion,
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confusion, chaos. None of these come from God.
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Having one -on -one moments with him has changed
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my life. Is it easy? No. I'm still going through
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the storm. You know, as of today, I'm in remission,
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but I still have to go back for scans monthly
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and blood work. And, you know, it's just, it's
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not easy. I feel like we get thrown into this
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meat grinder type situation and get thrown back
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out and we're really Expected to just get back
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to life and and live normally and it's just it's
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not like that we have so many, you know side
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effects from treatment and You know just things
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going on mentally that are challenging and it's
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very hard to just You know forget what you've
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been through and try to just move on like people
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expect you to but you know there's no room for
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the enemy like i now have strength and wisdom
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to battle being in his word showed me grace mercy
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love and redemption he's my redeemer the rock
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on which i stand i'm healed by the stripes of
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jesus and just a couple years ago I knew none
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of this. God is the anchor of our souls. We hold
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on to his promises and truth until the storm
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passes. This is bringing forth joy. In my journey
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time doesn't heal all wounds. It's what we plant
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in the soil of time that determines whether we're
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headed towards healing or towards bitterness.
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Don't let your hearts be so hardened by what
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storms you face. Everyone has to heal differently.
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As you walk through your storm, I encourage you
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to bring your honest questions to God. It's okay
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to do this. He knows. It's okay to tell him you're
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struggling and doubting, but don't let Satan
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take any more of your time away from him. Sit
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with Jesus. Trust him. rest in him. It's not
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your will anyway. It's his. It's what he wants
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for your life. He created you. I know that we
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can be so selfish and our own flesh and desires
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and wanting what we want, but it really is what
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he wants in his will. I know personally that
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he has bigger plans for me and all of you. If
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he wakes you up every morning, you have a purpose.
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He has a plan for you. He will see us through,
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and he has already prepared the way. No one knows
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the shoes you walk in, but he does. Let's go
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to him all the time, not just in time of troubles.
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Still praise him through all of it, and we can
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always find the joy. Let his peace and comfort
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come over you The storm that was meant to break
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you makes you I'd rather go through my storm
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with him than without him. I Want to look at
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a couple instances that occurred, you know in
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the Bible and This one is a story about law and
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his wife and they were leaving Sodom and Gomorrah
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and God says He's about to destroy it. Lot looks
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back after he says it and God says, I don't want
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you dwelling. I don't want you to look back at
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what you're leaving. Don't look back at friends.
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Then his wife looks back and she turned into
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a pillar of salt. She literally got hardened
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and stuck right where she was because she didn't
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know the hope and future plan God had for her.
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She doubted him. She didn't trust him. She looked
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back God is saying don't dwell. I have more for
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you. We're moving forward This is what the kingdom
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looks like it's advancing I have an adventure
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for you If you're walking by the power of the
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Holy Spirit and can't go on that adventure If
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you get stuck looking back at your past, that's
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exactly what happens you get turned into a pillar
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of salt Stuck in the same location forever Look
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forward to Jesus He's got a plan and a purpose
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for you Process the things of your past so you
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can move forward We've got a hope and a future
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This is in Jeremiah 29 11 Let's look at Moses
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He wanted to quit for sure leading all those
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people out of Egypt job He wished at one point
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that he didn't even exist and he wasn't born
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But God restored him and gave him back seven
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times what he lost and I know all the time I
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lost because I chose to go to Cleveland Clinic
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they You know had a really good sarcoma team
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and I knew like I just knew that's where God
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was calling me to go and It's a little over three
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hours for us. So you know all the time lost and
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the appointments and the surgeries and the treatments
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I really held on to that and I knew that you
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know if God saved my life he was definitely going
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to give me the time back that I lost. But back
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to Moses. Moses didn't do it just right but he
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didn't quit. It's not always going to be easy.
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God even told us this that we would have trials
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and tribulations, but take heart because he overcame
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the world Sit in the struggles and allow it to
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change you Change you in a way that leads you
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closer to God That gives you more faith and joy
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no matter the situation I Believe God sent me
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to tell someone you can't Do you know how many
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times I wanted to quit through this cancer journey?
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How hard it was to go through that? Especially
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when you have children. But I did not quit. It
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would be, you know, momentarily relief, but we
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need to see past that. The psalmist said, Praise
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the Lord all my soul and forget not all his benefits.
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Who forgives all sins, heals all your diseases,
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redeems your life from the pit, crowns you with
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love and compassion. I would rather go through
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a season of temporary uncertainty than compromise
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the trust of my identity. Stand now if you're
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making the decision to quit. God gave us purpose
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in life and if you are still breathing you still
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have purpose. God's joy isn't just to carry us
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through the good times. It's the strength that
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carries us through the tough ones. God's perfect
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will is worth everything you have to go through
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to obtain it. The waiting, the hills, the valleys,
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the mountains, the joyous, the quiet time, the
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prayers. The key to joy is submission to His
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will. Even if you're new to all this, you know,
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you don't know God's Word, you know, really just
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no matter where you are in your faith journey,
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whether you're a longtime follower, I feel we
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can all find joy our days and I hope you stick
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with me to have you know the hard conversations
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the fun conversations that we'll get to laugh
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and cry with each other and you know just enjoy
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some of the conversations and guests that I have
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on but just find the joy in life and just laugh
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and have a good time with us for a short time
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through the difficult times. I'd like to pause
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Okay, so some ways I'm finding joy, especially
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like in the morning, I change up my morning routine
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because it's just awesome. I mean, it's hard
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when you live in Pennsylvania, but we don't always
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have sunshine, but it's just awesome when we
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do to step outside first thing in the morning.
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Put your feet in the grass and get that grounding
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in. Let the sun shine at you. Get the red light.
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That is the way that I find joy first thing in
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the morning. And at the same time, I get the
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benefits, all the health benefits from it. Being
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thankful to move my body. If you have kids or
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children in your life, just take a minute to
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look at their faces or to hear about their day.
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And right there, just... Listening to them talk
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gives you joy. You can practice gratitude, praying
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throughout the day, starting your day with Jesus.
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I love to fill my home with workshop music, especially
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when I feel like I'm just down or being attacked.
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You know, take a family day. You can take 30
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minutes to yourself. Watch a sunrise or a sunset.
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always read the Bible and I would you know just
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really recommend that you start just by trying
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to read it in the morning just so that you can
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start your day out and have that word with you
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all throughout the day. So I like to end every
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podcast with a favorite Bible verse and since
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it's just me today I have Kings 25 this Bible
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verse Really stuck close to my heart Throughout
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this whole journey It states that I have heard
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your prayers I have you seeing your tears and
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I will heal you and Those are just some of the
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words that I kept so close to my heart throughout
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all of this Thank you all for joining today's
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podcast. I really hope you enjoyed it I do hope
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that you guys you know if you found This enjoyable
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Or inspiring I hope that you share it with someone
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Or just if you can even share the show for me
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if you can hit like and follow you can get all
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the updates of new episodes that come out and
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You know, I just really appreciate it. I hope
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that even if this helps one person It was worth,
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you know all of my time So I just you know, as
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always I want you guys to go out and find the
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joy today. Bye friends