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5-MINUTE FRIDAY: Stop Trash Talking Yourself · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

• 0:20
  Speaker 1: Hey, everyone, what's going on? Happy five Minute Friday. I
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: am so elated that we are on the cusp of
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: a long weekend. The season, the season. The show is
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: going on a season break next week. I figure a
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: lot of people are going to be out of their
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: normal routines, so this was a calculated move on my part.
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: I am looking forward to just taking a little bit
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: of a little bit of a break myself, a little rest,
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: and also have a little fun. I'm heading to London
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: next week. I'm really excited for about four days. Not
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: a super long trip, but enough to have a little adventure,
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: find myself some tea, and have a good time. For
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: today's episode of Five Minute Friday, I want to talk
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: about the power of positive self talk. I know it's
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: a theme that I touch on often here on the show,
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: but I had an experience last weekend on a bike
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: ride that I felt super compelled to bring here to
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: the show. So I went on a bike ride last weekend.
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: I was invited by a couple of friends. I met
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: some of their friends. There was a squad of about
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: maybe six or seven of us. We rode over the
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: George Washington Bridge from Brooklyn and went across to New
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: Jersey and then back into New York and ultimately up
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: to Nyak to a donut shop that a lot of
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: cyclists go to in that area. The ride itself was
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: about seventy plus miles round trip, definitely my longest ride
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: since easily twenty twenty, and I had a really hard time.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: I had a really hard time because I was the
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: slowest one out of the entire group. So what that
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: meant was after every climb, by the time I got
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: to the top of the climb, there was the group
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: hanging out and no one made me feel as though
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: I was really holding them up too much. I think
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: every you know, a few minutes that went by, it
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: was a nice break for them. But in my head
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: time and time again. We took a pretty hilly route.
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: I would say there were about like four or five
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: times when this occurred, and so the first time I
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: was like, Okay, you know, I'm just getting warmed up.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: But the second time, after climbing this hill by myself
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: because everyone I was with was faster than I, I
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: got to the top and I noticed that I was
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: one hundred percent shit talking myself and feeling really anxious.
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: I was thinking to myself, why did I agree to
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: go on this ride? I feel embarrassed for some reason.
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: Am I really this quote unquote bad at this? What
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: do all of these people that I don't really know think?
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: Am I totally ruining this for everyone? Like all of
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: these things? And so, leading into the third climb, where
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: I knew this was going to happen again, I just
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: got to this place where I decided to have some
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: grace and accept the things that I could not change.
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: I was in the middle of a seventy mile loop.
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: I was, in fact doing the best I could with
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: what I had, doing my personal best in this situation,
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: and I accepted on that third climb that my personal
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: best was enough. I stopped being so concerned about what
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: these other individuals might think, and I started focus on
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: finding the fun again, the reason that I was out
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: there in the first place, to let my mind run,
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: to let go, to just be present and enjoy nature.
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: When I got to the top of that third climb,
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: I looked at the group and I apologized, And it
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: was without hesitation that basically every single person I was
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: with said, you have nothing to apologize for. In fact,
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: they were appreciative of the fact that they themselves had
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: some time to regroup. It was one of those moments
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: where I realized that not only am I in charge
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: of how I speak to myself, but also I cannot
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: be the only thing standing in my way from having
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: a good time. I was making up this story in
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: my head that I was inconveniencing these other individuals. What
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: the reality was that that wasn't it at all. I
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: was doing them a favor. And you asked me, the
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: collective of us. We had a great day out there.
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: We were writing for something like five hours. I swear
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: I got off the bike that day and I had
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: bruises on my backside.
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: It's a long time in the.
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: Saddle, but I was just so grateful for the good
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: vibes and the good time and the reminder that talking
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: down to yourself it really just doesn't do you any good. Period.
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: So my promt for you this week, what's one thing
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: that you've been a little hard on yourself about lately
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: and how can you flip the script? What is one
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: thing that you have been a little hard on yourself
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: lately and how can you flip the script? And now
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: a listener question.
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: Hey, Emily, I'm calling from Upstate New York about how
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: you stay organized. I find that the more demands I
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: have on my time, the less and less organized I feel,
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: and it's hard to keep track of all of my
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: many priorities, both short term and long term goals. How
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: do you stay organized and on top of the many
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: demands for your time?
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: Good question. Organization can be a tough thing, especially when
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: I myself have struggled with trying to stay organized in
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: too many places at once. So the way that I
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: stay the most organized is a twofold approach. Not only
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: do I put everything in my Google calendar, and I
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: have a Google calendar for the different aspects of my life.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: I have one for everything that has to do with Hurdle,
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: including sponsorships and newsletters and guests and interviews. And then
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: I have my personal Google calendar in which I organize
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: my personal life, my social life, et cetera. At the
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: beginning of every week, on Monday morning, the first thing
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: I do when I get to my desk is I
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: write down what would make the day great in my
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: best self co journal or link that in the show notes.
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: And then I go through my Google calendar and I
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: write down in my physical journal with you know, like
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: my plans, what I have going on during the week,
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: And this way, not only do I have the opportunity
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: to be reminded of what's upcoming, but then it's like
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: solidified in my brain. It's like, Okay, on Monday morning,
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  Speaker 1: I'm reminded that I have this thing on Tuesday, this
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: thing on Wednesday, and then I can start to plan
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: and organize holistically for what I want to get done
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: and prioritize. So for me, that two calendar approach, both
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: the digital and the physical, that has really worked now
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: when it comes to staying organized with your long term goals.
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: I've talked about this a little bit on the show before.
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: I often do a quarterly audit with myself, kind of
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: a summit where I sit down, I mark out let's
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: say three hours on the weekend, and I sit down
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: and I look at what it is that I want
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: to accomplish for the quarter, what I did accomplish for
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: the quarter, how I'm doing in terms of progress in
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: goals that might be longer term, and asking myself what
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: is within my control that I might want to change
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: or pivot, What am I succeeding at, What could I
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: do a little bit better just being really honest about
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: what's happening, because until you can be honest with yourself
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: about what is, you can't change anything moving forward. I'll
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: say that again. Until you can be honest with yourself
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: about what is, you cannot make any changes moving forward.
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: I also take that time to celebrate myself because, let's
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: be real, whether or not I'm accomplishing my goals, the
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: things that I've set out to do, it's.
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  Speaker 2: Hard work and that is something to relation.
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: For sure. I hope that's helpful. Make sure you're following
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: along with me for more tips over on Instagram. It's
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: at Emily Body and of course the show is at
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: Hurdle Podcast. Another Hurdle Conquered. Catch y'all next time