Latest / The Hauraki Big Show / THE DISCLAIMER: A Tough Watch
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast,
- 0:05Speaker 1: get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok. Or
- 0:10Speaker 1: Raw Dog It. Four to seven every weekday. On Radio
- 0:14Speaker 1: Hodak here.
- 0:15Speaker 2: Oh, g'day fellas.
- 0:17Speaker 1: Backbone. Hello there.
- 0:18Speaker 2: New shirt mogi. Look at that.
- 0:21Speaker 3: New shirt that Moby's wearing.
- 0:23Speaker 2: It's a cracking bra. Boy, I feel so underdressed.
- 0:28Speaker 1: You've got a couple of them titties sticking out. Hang on.
- 0:32Speaker 3: Don't change the subject to Hoity J's magnificent buzzies.
- 0:36Speaker 2: They are magnificent.
- 0:37Speaker 1: They're in good form. And then you're wearing a, what
- 0:38Speaker 1: do you call it, a muscle shirt because that's quite
- 0:41Speaker 1: tight on you.
- 0:41Speaker 2: It actually fits you very well. It's very flattering on you.
- 0:44Speaker 1: Did somebody buy that for you or did you buy it?
- 0:46Speaker 3: So my dad's, one of my dad's friends who's a mechanic.
- 0:49Speaker 1: And it's a Hoiti Jase shirt for people out there.
- 0:51Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 0:52Speaker 3: With Jase's face on it three times. He was at
- 0:56Speaker 3: an op shop and it was in the clothing bin.
- 0:59Speaker 2: So someone binned it.
- 1:00Speaker 1: Was it really?
- 1:01Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 1:01Speaker 1: Somebody didn't want it?
- 1:02Speaker 2: It's like brand new.
- 1:03Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. Somebody's been given that. It's got
- 1:05Speaker 1: a real Christmas Secret Santa vibe.
- 1:09Speaker 2: Can I have a look at the other face there?
- 1:10Speaker 2: I can't see that.
- 1:12Speaker 1: Oh, God, I'm a good-looking bastard. Well, you were. Those
- 1:14Speaker 1: are very old photos.
- 1:15Speaker 2: Yeah, they are quite old, actually. They're good stuff.
- 1:19Speaker 3: Yeah, so he's my mechanic that gives my truck a
- 1:21Speaker 3: warrant every year.
- 1:22Speaker 2: Right.
- 1:23Speaker 3: And he was like, oh, you've got to give this
- 1:25Speaker 3: to Hoity J, man.
- 1:26Speaker 1: Give him a shirt.
- 1:27Speaker 2: Yeah, because I'll wear it.
- 1:29Speaker 1: Well, just show it. He meant show it. There was
- 1:31Speaker 1: four heads of audio. Would you ever wear this?
- 1:33Speaker 3: No.
- 1:33Speaker 1: Yeah, you would. Why not? Give the appropriate time, man.
- 1:36Speaker 2: Because I'd be a doofus if I did.
- 1:39Speaker 1: That'd be cool, man.
- 1:40Speaker 3: I don't think anyone would think you're a doofus for
- 1:43Speaker 3: wearing a shirt with your own face on it.
- 1:44Speaker 2: I tell you, and Mogi mentioned this before as well,
- 1:47Speaker 2: and I think it would.
- 1:48Speaker 1: Be a bestseller.
- 1:50Speaker 2: A bestseller.
- 1:51Speaker 1: Go on.
- 1:52Speaker 2: Keezy on all fours looking... Looking over his shoulder. Because
- 1:56Speaker 2: we've had some great AI photos sent in.
- 1:59Speaker 3: What about just all of us on a nice T-shirt
- 2:01Speaker 3: there that says Hauraki Big Show?
- 2:03Speaker 1: It'll never happen. Nah, it's too hard, man. It's too hard.
- 2:06Speaker 1: We've been trying to get one of those going for
- 2:08Speaker 1: literally years.
- 2:09Speaker 2: Can we only have a photo of the three of
- 2:12Speaker 2: us that we have in the studio with me doing
- 2:15Speaker 2: my cool hand movement?
- 2:16Speaker 3: Well, the thing is, right, people send photos to my
- 2:18Speaker 3: Instagram being like, Keezy, check this out. And it's someone
- 2:21Speaker 3: there with a Hodaki Big Show shirt on. And it's like,
- 2:24Speaker 3: do you remember from our first year when we did
- 2:26Speaker 3: that photo of us with our shaved sides and mullets?
- 2:30Speaker 3: And we looked like we were in Narcos or something?
- 2:31Speaker 1: Oh, yes.
- 2:33Speaker 3: All these photos from back in the day put together
- 2:35Speaker 3: in a Hodaki Big Show logo. And I was like, oh,
- 2:36Speaker 3: that's cool.
- 2:37Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 2:38Speaker 1: It's not possible, though. Can't be done.
- 2:40Speaker 2: Very, very difficult to achieve.
- 2:42Speaker 1: It's actually super easy.
- 2:44Speaker 3: I reckon Pugs, if he put his mind to it,
- 2:45Speaker 3: he could get a run of them ready to go
- 2:47Speaker 3: in less than a week.
- 2:49Speaker 1: The great thing you've got on that shirt, though, if
- 2:50Speaker 1: we did go with the branding image, which is Jase
- 2:54Speaker 1: with a cheese cutter on, which he's always wearing, reaching
- 2:57Speaker 1: out with a hand, you could put something there that
- 2:59Speaker 1: Jase is reaching out for. What do you think we
- 3:01Speaker 1: could go with?
- 3:03Speaker 2: I know what you're going with.
- 3:05Speaker 1: What? A koozer?
- 3:08Speaker 2: Yeah. But rather than to be distracted by shirt chat,
- 3:16Speaker 2: I'd rather focus on just creating really good content.
- 3:18Speaker 3: Yeah, right.
- 3:19Speaker 1: It's just that you started it. You pointed out his shirt.
- 3:21Speaker 2: I was just pointing out. Hell, isn't it magnificent though, Keezy?
- 3:24Speaker 1: Oh, it's a new shirt. So did you buy that today?
- 3:26Speaker 1: It's just absolutely spanking. Now, this is a very interesting story.
- 3:31Speaker 1: I've had this shirt for years, fellas. No, come on. No,
- 3:34Speaker 1: it's true, true, true, true. Sealed away. And I've just
- 3:36Speaker 1: not worn it, fellas. Oh, wow. That's another true story
- 3:39Speaker 1: right there. Normally I'd never wear a shirt and hair,
- 3:42Speaker 1: would I? Because I'm T-shirt boy. Yes. But then I
- 3:45Speaker 1: had to do something today for work, so I had
- 3:46Speaker 1: to have a shirt on. But I think it's all right.
- 3:49Speaker 3: You know it's got on the back of it, it's
- 3:51Speaker 3: got a picture of a dire wolf, eh?
- 3:52Speaker 1: Yeah, I know. That's why I bought it. That's why
- 3:55Speaker 1: I bought it. Because dire wolves have got my back. Yeah.
- 3:57Speaker 1: You know what I mean? Totally, man. But I'm happy
- 3:59Speaker 1: with it. Nice little shirt there.
- 4:01Speaker 2: Yeah, nice fabric.
- 4:03Speaker 1: You know, summertime, can you keep your eyes here, man?
- 4:07Speaker 2: It was just two guys just chest bumping each other.
- 4:10Speaker 1: Eyes to the front, Keezy.
- 4:14Speaker 2: Sorry, man.
- 4:15Speaker 1: We've missed that, haven't we?
- 4:17Speaker 2: What's that?
- 4:18Speaker 1: Eyes to the front.
- 4:18Speaker 2: Yes, we have.
- 4:19Speaker 1: We've been doing it.
- 4:19Speaker 2: Well, it's summertime and Keezy's out of control.
- 4:24Speaker 3: I love that this is going to be on YouTube
- 4:25Speaker 3: because there'll be video footage of me not looking heavy
- 4:28Speaker 3: at all. Whereas there'll be footage of Jase's eyeballs coming
- 4:32Speaker 3: out of his ear. Yeah, and his tongue rolling up
- 4:35Speaker 3: along the floor there.
- 4:36Speaker 1: Yeah. What else happened to you today, Jizz?
- 4:40Speaker 2: Oh, you know, a bit of this, a bit of that.
- 4:41Speaker 3: Because you were filming a top secret project we can't
- 4:43Speaker 3: talk about, obviously.
- 4:44Speaker 1: Yes, yes, I was. Yes, yes. Really top secret, this one.
- 4:48Speaker 2: It's always interesting going back into the fray, as they say,
- 4:52Speaker 2: and it's like, oh, can I still do this? Fuck yeah,
- 4:55Speaker 2: I can.
- 5:02Speaker 1: Oh, g'day, Matt. Oh, hi, mate, yeah.
- 5:05Speaker 4: Look, if you want the chance to win all our
- 5:07Speaker 4: on-air competitions and stuff and get amongst the live conversation,
- 5:13Speaker 4: tune in to the Hauraki Big Show, four to seven
- 5:16Speaker 4: weekdays on Radio Hauraki and iHeartRadio.
- 5:22Speaker 3: The Hauraki Big Show podcast.
- 5:24Speaker 1: Was it a good day's filming?
- 5:25Speaker 3: Yeah.
- 5:25Speaker 2: How many lines did you get?
- 5:26Speaker 1: Who did you hang out with?
- 5:28Speaker 2: Oh, look, I don't want to go into details. You
- 5:30Speaker 2: know one of the people very well.
- 5:31Speaker 1: I do, yeah.
- 5:32Speaker 2: Tracy there, she's lovely.
- 5:33Speaker 1: Backbone, backbone. Hashtag backbone.
- 5:35Speaker 3: Oh, Tracy, is that the actress who plays your sister
- 5:37Speaker 3: in Broken Wood?
- 5:38Speaker 1: Tracy Lee Gray, is that her name? Yes, it is.
- 5:40Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you.
- 5:41Speaker 2: Yeah, and a couple of other backbones who I can't
- 5:43Speaker 2: remember their names.
- 5:44Speaker 1: Yeah, good on you, mate. Good day, though?
- 5:47Speaker 2: Yeah, it was good.
- 5:48Speaker 1: How many lines? What was lunch? Lunch, Mogi. Isn't it interesting?
- 5:52Speaker 3: I've asked that question twice and he's ignored it twice
- 5:54Speaker 3: in favour of you.
- 5:54Speaker 2: How many lines? You want a quantity of lines.
- 5:59Speaker 1: Yes. Okay. I had five lines.
- 6:04Speaker 2: Maybe 25 lines.
- 6:06Speaker 1: Okay. How many paragraphs?
- 6:07Speaker 2: No paragraphs. To answer your question, Mogi, it was a
- 6:13Speaker 2: green chicken curry. Very nice, actually.
- 6:16Speaker 1: How was our spice level?
- 6:18Speaker 2: Very mild.
- 6:19Speaker 1: Yeah. That's a risk you take, isn't it?
- 6:21Speaker 2: My spice level's out of control at the moment.
- 6:24Speaker 1: It's too hot.
- 6:25Speaker 2: Yeah, I've gone crazy on the spice. And also a
- 6:29Speaker 2: very nice bean salad.
- 6:31Speaker 1: I was just going to say about the beans, because
- 6:32Speaker 1: often with your chicken green Thai curry there, they have
- 6:37Speaker 1: the beans in it. So they can't have done it.
- 6:39Speaker 1: Did they do a green bean and then a bean bean?
- 6:42Speaker 2: It was a green bean and bean salad.
- 6:45Speaker 1: It had.
- 6:48Speaker 2: Freshly popped beans. Beans out of the shell.
- 6:51Speaker 1: Yes.
- 6:52Speaker 2: And beans. Shelled beans and beans.
- 6:55Speaker 1: And non-shelled.
- 6:57Speaker 4: Yes.
- 6:57Speaker 1: Did you flick any of the beans?
- 7:00Speaker 2: No. It was actually really embarrassing because I was like,
- 7:04Speaker 2: I don't know where we're supposed to eat.
- 7:06Speaker 3: Oh.
- 7:07Speaker 2: And so I was following Tracy who was in front
- 7:09Speaker 2: of me.
- 7:09Speaker 1: She was going for a dump.
- 7:10Speaker 2: And she had her plate of food and then she
- 7:13Speaker 2: went into the main actor's green room Curry, Thai green curry.
- 7:17Speaker 2: And it's just a little camper van. So I was like, oh,
- 7:19Speaker 2: there's no room for old Hoity J in there. And
- 7:23Speaker 2: then there was no other actors around. So I just
- 7:25Speaker 2: sat on set with my green curry.
- 7:27Speaker 1: Why don't you sit with the crew? I wouldn't do that, man.
- 7:31Speaker 1: I bet you don't know anyone's name on that crew.
- 7:35Speaker 2: Marty, the DOP.
- 7:36Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, Marty, yeah. Lives on Waiheke there.
- 7:39Speaker 2: He does, yes.
- 7:40Speaker 1: What's the producer's name? Just around the corner from where
- 7:41Speaker 1: I used to live.
- 7:42Speaker 2: Tim Barm.
- 7:44Speaker 1: Tim Barm. You don't want to go that way. You
- 7:45Speaker 1: want to go. The gaffer. Yes. Which is like a
- 7:49Speaker 1: runner-ish kind of person. No, it's the head of the
- 7:51Speaker 1: lighting department. Lighting. Why is it called gaffer? The key grip.
- 7:55Speaker 1: You know his name? Yes. What's a key grip? Key
- 7:58Speaker 1: grip's the head grip. What's a grip? A grip is
- 8:01Speaker 1: the person who's in control of the movement of the
- 8:03Speaker 1: camera and how the camera moves. So laying tracks, wrecks,
- 8:07Speaker 1: all that sort of stuff. Yeah, it's good stuff, Gizzy.
- 8:10Speaker 2: You'll learn all this when you finally get a part.
- 8:14Speaker 3: I love this idea that Keezy's desperate to become an actor.
- 8:18Speaker 1: When you finally get a part. I actually don't give
- 8:21Speaker 1: a shit. No, but I'm keen, though, Jase. Have you
- 8:24Speaker 1: put me forward, man?
- 8:25Speaker 2: Yeah, well, actually.
- 8:28Speaker 1: Like this thing you were filming today. That must be
- 8:29Speaker 1: running out of actors.
- 8:30Speaker 2: Yes, and I said there's this young fella called Keezy.
- 8:34Speaker 1: And he's got a mate, Pugsan.
- 8:36Speaker 2: And he's got a mate called Pugsan who works in
- 8:38Speaker 2: Studio B, and he's just a natural talent. I'll send
- 8:41Speaker 2: you some vids through.
- 8:42Speaker 1: It was really interesting.
- 8:49Speaker 2: Would you freeze under the pressure of?
- 8:53Speaker 1: I don't think so. Do you know what I like
- 8:54Speaker 1: about this? Jason's come in today, whoever moved, and then
- 8:59Speaker 1: just running you down is cheering him right up.
- 9:02Speaker 3: And meanwhile, I'm here, hey, Hoity J with my Hoity
- 9:04Speaker 3: J shirt on, loving it.
- 9:06Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's got his new shirt on.
- 9:08Speaker 2: No one backs Keezy like old Hoity J. That's true.
- 9:12Speaker 1: That's true. Do you back me in, man? Yeah, I'll
- 9:14Speaker 1: back you in. I don't think I would freeze. I
- 9:15Speaker 1: think I'd be fine.
- 9:16Speaker 3: Yes.
- 9:16Speaker 1: Because if I can do live TV, I can do that.
- 9:19Speaker 1: I don't know. It's a different Keezy.
- 9:20Speaker 2: It's a very different skill, Keezy. I'm not sure.
- 9:23Speaker 1: Oh, totally.
- 9:24Speaker 2: Especially if you had like a paragraph.
- 9:26Speaker 1: I don't think you could do.
- 9:27Speaker 2: I could see you doing the first.
- 9:28Speaker 1: Especially with you and your lines, Keyes.
- 9:29Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what I mean. You'd do a couple of lines.
- 9:31Speaker 1: And then you'd butcher it.
- 9:33Speaker 2: You'd butcher it.
- 9:35Speaker 3: First of all, when I'm doing live TV, it's not
- 9:36Speaker 3: all autocue, right? There's a lot of like ad-libbing and stuff.
- 9:38Speaker 2: Yeah, well, that's what I mean. When you've got a
- 9:42Speaker 2: script that you can't go away from.
- 9:44Speaker 1: Yeah, but I'll just ad-lib. Just ad-lib. And just make
- 9:46Speaker 1: it better.
- 9:47Speaker 2: You'd fall to pieces.
- 9:50Speaker 1: I reckon I could do it. I mean, far out.
- 9:52Speaker 1: You guys do it. It's true. That's how I look
- 9:54Speaker 1: at things as well. If that idiot can do it,
- 9:57Speaker 1: I can do it.
- 9:58Speaker 2: I've known over the years quite a few actors. where
- 10:00Speaker 2: lines are the bane of their lives.
- 10:02Speaker 1: I remember being on the set once and this guy
- 10:08Speaker 1: just couldn't do it. Yes. You know, an experienced actor.
- 10:13Speaker 1: And the other thing was it was ensemble, so I
- 10:15Speaker 1: had to go, Person one, person two, person three, person two, person...
- 10:20Speaker 1: So even to get to him took forever. Yeah. And
- 10:23Speaker 1: then when it got to him, he just dropped the basket.
- 10:26Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 10:27Speaker 1: Oh, sorry, everyone. He didn't really seem to give a fuck.
- 10:30Speaker 1: But it was about 15 takes. Wow, yeah. It was horrible.
- 10:33Speaker 1: It's not good. But then you start going, oh... God,
- 10:37Speaker 1: this is embarrassing.
- 10:38Speaker 2: Oh, God.
- 10:39Speaker 1: Fire him. Quick, fire him. Get him off the set.
- 10:41Speaker 2: And then they finally nail it, and then you fuck
- 10:44Speaker 2: the line.
- 10:44Speaker 1: And then they weren't rolling the camera. Yeah.
- 10:47Speaker 3: But that person there, in that situation, based on my
- 10:50Speaker 3: very limited experience, just didn't spend enough time learning the lines.
- 10:54Speaker 1: Well, sometimes you're going to learn them too much. It
- 10:56Speaker 1: could be any number of things. It could be hungover.
- 10:58Speaker 1: It could be, oh, all of a sudden, just shit
- 11:00Speaker 1: in the bed. Somebody said something to them.
- 11:03Speaker 2: Yeah, right.
- 11:04Speaker 1: You can have all the lines are in there, and
- 11:05Speaker 1: then when the cameras come on, the lights come on.
- 11:09Speaker 2: Yep.
- 11:09Speaker 1: Gone burgers.
- 11:11Speaker 2: Gone burgers.
- 11:11Speaker 1: And then it just gets worse and worse and worse.
- 11:14Speaker 1: Same with laughing on set.
- 11:15Speaker 2: It's exponentially one of those things that the more you
- 11:19Speaker 2: fuck it up, the more pressure you feel, and thus the.
- 11:22Speaker 1: More you fuck it up. When you start going red,
- 11:24Speaker 1: you know when you're in class, and this probably didn't
- 11:25Speaker 1: happen to you, Jase, because you knew everything. Yes, true.
- 11:28Speaker 1: But when you're in class at high school and you
- 11:31Speaker 1: didn't know, you're sitting there thinking to yourself, I've got
- 11:35Speaker 1: absolutely no idea what this prick's talking about. Yes. And
- 11:39Speaker 1: then you can feel that someone's about to be asked
- 11:41Speaker 1: a question. Yes. And you're just sitting there thinking... Please
- 11:45Speaker 1: don't ask me this question because I've got no idea.
- 11:49Speaker 1: And you go, hot? Yeah. They ask you and then
- 11:52Speaker 1: you're just on fire. So they go, young mogey over there.
- 11:55Speaker 1: And you just call them a fucking arsehole and then
- 11:57Speaker 1: you get kicked out of the class and you go, oh,
- 11:59Speaker 1: thank God for that.
- 12:00Speaker 3: What is two plus two? I don't know, you fucking arsehole.
- 12:04Speaker 2: I've definitely been in quite a number of scenarios like
- 12:09Speaker 2: that with actors that are butchering their lines. It's not pleasant.
- 12:13Speaker 2: becomes very uncomfortable yeah keys very uncomfortable.
- 12:18Speaker 3: But guys my dream of being an actor it's you
- 12:20Speaker 3: know i'm broken wood i'm broken well what would the
- 12:22Speaker 3: relationship be you hire me at.
- 12:25Speaker 1: Your trattoria is it still a trattoria you come in
- 12:28Speaker 1: with your bow tie on.
- 12:29Speaker 3: I literally auditioned for it the other day yes.
- 12:31Speaker 2: You did yeah yeah did you audition.
- 12:34Speaker 3: For it at your house my house oh yeah i'll
- 12:38Speaker 3: just be that guy Yeah, sure, mate.
- 12:40Speaker 1: I think so. I could just be making limoncello in
- 12:41Speaker 1: the background.
- 12:41Speaker 2: I don't know if my trattoria is still going, actually.
- 12:44Speaker 4: Oh, really?
- 12:45Speaker 2: I've got my pub.
- 12:46Speaker 1: I'll work at the pub.
- 12:47Speaker 3: Okay.
- 12:47Speaker 1: I could just be hammered at the pub.
- 12:49Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 12:50Speaker 1: Was the trattoria one episode only?
- 12:52Speaker 2: No, I don't think so. It went on for a while.
- 12:55Speaker 1: Quite a few seasons. I'm asking the wrong guy.
- 12:57Speaker 2: Yeah, you are.
- 12:58Speaker 1: You are, actually. Hey, listen to the big show, 4-7 weekdays, Hodaki.