Latest / SAY GRACE | Weight Loss + Health for Overwhelmed Women- Stress, Busy, Consistency, Realistic, Motivation, Starting Over, No Restrictions / How to stop failing at weight loss in 2025

Transcript

How to stop failing at weight loss in 2025 · SAY GRACE | Weight Loss + Health for Overwhelmed Women- Stress, Busy, Consistency, Realistic, Motivation, Starting Over, No Restrictions

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Music.
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Over the past few weeks, we've been playing back some of our most listened to
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episodes as I have taken some time to prepare for all the things we are bringing to you in 2025.
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On our last rerun episode, I feel that this topic is going to be right on point
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as we head into the new year very soon.
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And it is about how to stop failing at weight loss. So this is actually a recording
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of a training that I did on how to stop failing at weight loss and become successful.
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So if you are looking to achieve some weight loss goals in the new year, this episode is for you.
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Also, we will be back with our fresh and newly recorded episodes starting next
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week. So y'all make sure to check back.
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All right. So I just, this is such a passion for me.
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And so y'all know that I get so, if you're new around here, then you don't know
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yet, but you gonna know soon that I get so fired up about this topic,
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okay, about the reasons why we people fail at weight loss.
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And I just feel like the world has made it so incredibly hard when it really should not be okay.
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And so I'm going to just start like, have you ever wondered why?
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Like some women seem to be just as busy as you are,
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but they're able to like lose weight and keep it off eating the foods they love
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while like you can't do that or you hate the diet or whatever it is.
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You have a, you're on the struggle bus to stick to all the demands of the weight loss program. Okay.
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So if you have tried a weight loss program, this, I want y'all to do this.
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If you have tried a weight loss program and hated it, I want you to type the
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number one in comments. Okay?
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If you have tried a weight loss program and hated it, type the number one in
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comments. I'm going to check my Wi-Fi real quick. Okay. All right.
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If you have gained weight after finishing a weight loss program,
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I want you to type number two.
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Okay. Type number two if you have gained weight after finishing a weight loss
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program. So you may have killed the weight loss program, but you regained the weight.
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Okay, so number one, if you've tried a weight loss program and you hated it, okay, I see it coming in.
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And then two, you gained weight after you stopped it. Okay, okay.
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Lots of ones, lots of ones. I think I'm a little delayed with you guys,
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but I see lots of, okay, I see twos coming in.
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Yeah, y'all. I mean, Natalie, I'm dead.
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I mean, really, though. Okay. So while you've got your phones typing away,
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I want to ask you to do me a huge favor because I just I really do feel like
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this is something everybody needs to hear.
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So if you will share this live video right now, okay, share it.
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And then you can say like, come learn how to stop failing at weight loss, whatever.
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Go share it on your timeline right now so that others
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can see this as well as you just share it
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and let me know with a number three when you've done it okay so share this to
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your timeline tell your friends tell your people come watch this with me and
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hit a number three okay in the comments okay and I'm gonna keep going but I'm
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looking for those threes I still see those twos coming through okay y'all and
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I'm sorry I do not mean to brag on myself but some of these twos coming through,
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are my people, and they up in here losing weight now, you know,
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some, they've been here with me for a while, and they are stuck,
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and that is like, everything, okay, all right, so.
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That is why I did this training, okay? I am so sick of seeing these quick, like,
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jump on, trying to lose weight, jump off, trying to lose weight,
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because what it does, at the end of the day, what it does is it makes you feel
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like you suck. It makes you feel like you're a failure, right?
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Okay, so this is what we're going to talk about tonight, but first of all,
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I see a lot of new people, a lot of new faces, and I know a lot of people signed
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up and needed the playback, And so we're going to talk about who I am and what
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I do in case you don't know, okay?
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So I'm Constance Shelby. I own Perfect Fit Nutrition, okay? So I'm a registered
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dietitian and nutritionist.
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I have helped thousands upon thousands of women lose weight.
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But also, and more importantly, I am a mom, okay, to two young daughters and
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a wife to a recovering picky eater. He is a beaten potatoes man, okay?
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And so we struggled in our early years, and now we struggle again with these
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young children, okay? And so we are busy.
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Jess is my husband. He's out of town all the time. We are busy.
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We are on the go. My kids have so many activities.
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Like, we just, I'm an overwhelmed wife and mom, okay?
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And my lean queens, my people that have done my program before,
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they are here, and they know that, okay? And so I think that is why I've earned
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their trust and their respect because they know I'm a hot mess express just
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like everybody else, okay?
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And so tonight, though, I mean, there is a difference, right?
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Because I have figured it out how to stop failing at weight loss, okay?
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So you can lose weight without constantly feeling worn down.
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You can lose weight without feeling overwhelmed and clueless.
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You can lose weight while still eating the foods you love, and you can stay
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confident in that process.
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Okay, even if it doesn't feel as transformative as you may think it should.
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Okay, so I want you to just stop with me for a minute and just focus in real
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quick. Okay, because I just told you, I'm just as hot mess as you.
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And so it can be really easy to think like, this is just another girl about
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to tell me how to lose weight or tell me what to eat or whatever.
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But like, this is far from that. Okay, in my program, we do talk about food
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and nutrition. We talk about me. I'm a food freak.
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I love food. Like we are all about the food up in there. Okay.
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And we're talking, we talk about health. We talk about nutrition,
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but even if you come to my program just for that, you could still fail.
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Okay. And let me tell you why it's because what we eat and what foods we choose
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and all these stupid, like meal plan things to a T that people offer is only, it's only part of it.
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It's only a piece of it. The big part of the battle...
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Is our brain. Okay. Our mindset. Okay.
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And this is the extra piece that we offer in the program.
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So I'm just asking you to stick with me, be open-minded. Like what do we have
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to lose other than just listen to maybe a different approach for how we lose weight. Okay.
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So I want you to tell me if this is familiar. Okay. You're back.
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You're back. You can get, you've regained weight.
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Okay. My gosh, y'all, it's going to be the holidays here before we know it.
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And then we all going to be eating our, you know, hot chocolate and whatever,
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banana bread and regaining weight and all the things.
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And so, all right, let's pretend like
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it's after that. And you are back to thinking you need to lose weight.
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Okay. You jump on that next best thing, hoping that it's going to be different this time. Okay.
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You join another diet that tells you how you should be eating and it low key
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like shames you for how you actually are eating and living. You try to make
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those changes to become a healthier you because like it does make sense, right?
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The things they say make sense It doesn't sound like complete like crazy.
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You know what I mean? When you're trying to lose weight and you go to a new
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program Things they say make sense and so it sounds good.
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You do it You succeed at it for a little while.
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Okay, but then it always becomes too hard Or too miserable to keep up with okay
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So maybe a vacation comes along and you live your best life and can't fathom coming back. Okay.
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Or your kid has a birthday party. You ate cake. You blew it out.
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You were all in your emotions about the birthday party, whatever.
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Okay. Or it's just a really stressful season of your life.
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Y'all like none of us know what any of us are going through.
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And sometimes the seasons are, oh no.
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All right. Y'all let me know if I'm still here. My phone just gave me a thing.
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All right. So, somebody let me know I'm still here.
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Teen, where are you? Y'all let me know I'm still here.
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My phone just went black. I don't know. My Wi-Fi has been messed up all day.
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Anyway, so just a stressful season.
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Next thing you know, you go back to your old habits and you regain the weight. Okay?
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Feeling even worse about yourself and failing again. Okay?
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So, if you have experienced that ever, anything like what I just said,
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drop a four in the comments while I make sure that I'm still her.
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Okay? I'm good. Thank you, Lexi. Okay. I don't know. Okay. Hey,
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Stacey. All right. Okay. Thank y'all. Okay. I think I'm a little delayed to
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see these comments. Good. Thank y'all. Thank y'all. Okay.
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All right. So this is how it is different for my clients.
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Okay. Because they lose weight, they eat the foods they love,
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but they also have that mindset that even if.
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These things happen in our lives, you know, like even if we like have a vacation
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or we have a birthday party or we just have like a really crappy week,
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month, year, whatever, like we can still get back on track. Okay.
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And so, yeah, I want to talk about this, but first of all, I want to talk a
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little bit about how I was not always this way.
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I did not always teach what I'm here to teach you today.
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Okay. And so I'm a dietitian. We talked about it. I went to school for nutrition.
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I got my master's and my undergrad in nutrition.
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I did my internship. I did all the nutrition things. And so I was surrounded
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by a lot of health professionals all throughout my college life and my early career.
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And so in that time, it was always people talking about what to eat,
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how to eat, what to do to lose weight. It was just always a topic of food.
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And so me trying to fall in line with what was really everywhere around me,
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I was always trying to eat clean and exercise regularly.
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Okay, which as a young 20 something that wasn't that hard to do,
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you know, like it wasn't as troublesome as it is now, right?
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And so to top it, to take it one step further, Jess and I got into CrossFit for a while.
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And so in that space, if you're familiar with CrossFit, everything seems kind
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of like intense. So like we were really trying to eat clean and really trying to work out.
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And, and, you know, I was just really trying to clean up the way I ate. Okay.
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Also, I worked in a public health field. And so I was constantly in schools
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and public settings telling people how to eat healthy and how to eat clean. Okay.
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And then I got pregnant with my oldest.
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Okay. My sweet, sweet, now eight-year-old. Okay.
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And so when I was pregnant with her, I lost control of eating. Like, I don't know...
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I could blame the pregnancy, but I honestly think it had a little more to do
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with the fact that I was, for the first time in my life, allowed to eat whatever
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I wanted, okay? And so I did.
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Oh, I did, and I blamed it on that baby, okay? And so before I knew it,
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I had 50 pounds to get off, okay?
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And so that was fine in my mind because I told myself, like,
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all right, I'm going to get it off.
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I'm going to get it off the way I always have maintained and gotten it off before.
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Like, I'm just going to eat clean, work out a lot. It's going to be awesome,
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okay? So fast forward to after I had her, struggled, not just like with the
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weight loss part of it. I struggled just with life.
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Like I just struggled in general. Okay.
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Had to, I dealt with a little bit of postpartum.
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So I was struggling there just like mentally and emotionally.
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Okay. I also had a kid who never slept. Like, I don't know why these babies don't sleep.
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You know, she was always awake, which meant I was always sleep deprived.
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Still had a full-time job that I had to get up and go to. I had a husband who
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wasn't around as often as he'd like to be because he was trying to build a career.
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And then I had sugar cravings like no other from being a breastfeeding mom.
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Y'all, okay, if you have breastfed and you know that sugar craving, drop a five.
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Like put a five in the comments because it is no joke. I know,
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I know Candace is going to be dropping a five.
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My sister who's, who's a part of my team and breastfeeding is,
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Drop a five if you know the breastfeeding struggle. Okay, so with all that to
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say, I was overwhelmed. I was stressed out. I was busy.
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And so meal prepping was impossible.
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And honestly, grilled chicken sounded like gag me.
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Like I did not want to go back to my old ways of clean eating and exercising
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because I did not have the capacity for it anymore.
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Okay, so my old ways were not going to work. and this season of my life is what broke me, okay?
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It's when I realized that this is why women cannot lose weight, okay?
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Because there are too many other demands in their lives. Like y'all are tripping
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me out because it's the truth. Them fives, it's the truth, okay?
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There are too many other demands in this life for you to be able to spend all
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your time meal prepping and buying fresh and not eating the candy bar when you're
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like breastfeeding and craving the candy bar or whatever it is, okay?
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Because honestly, we've all got so much going on that sometimes just at the
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end of the day, we just want to literally, we just want to pick up some food
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and sit down and watch Netflix with our family. I mean, honestly.
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And so I don't, I don't look at that as a way of like, we could be better. We should be better.
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I look at it as a way, maybe we should, maybe we shouldn't, but like, it's just who we are.
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If we're all honest, if we're upfront and honest with how life is for us,
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like we do so much throughout the day that like at the end of the day or during
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the day, like we want the cookie or we want to just hang out.
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Right. And so this was the breaking point for me. So I did some self-care.
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Okay. I did get some therapy. I did a lot of self-work, but really what I did
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was I changed my mindset and I loosened my grip and I lost weight eating the
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foods that I love. And honestly, I was like my own experiment.
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I mean, you know, like I was this breastfeeding mom had all this weight to lose.
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And I was just like, I can't do it the way I've been doing it.
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So let's See what happens if I eat the cookies too, you know?
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That day, over eight years ago,
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I have taught thousands upon thousands of women how to do the same thing.
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Okay. And so I have, and I still am perfecting my method.
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And because of that, women are like breaking free from the hold of the pressure
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that weight loss has on them, yet they're still putting on their smaller pants.
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And that is like a win for me all day, every day of the week.
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Okay, so I do want to talk about how to stop the overwhelm in weight loss, okay?
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I want to share just a few of my secrets on how and so many other women have
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gotten to this place of comfort with food and with our day-to-day overwhelm
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and then also gotten in the smaller pants, right?
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Okay, so the first thing I want to talk about, the first step,
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okay, to losing weight without the overwhelm is to set realistic goals, okay?
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And so if my girls are in here that are in the program,
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they know, like, we don't set these grandiose goals because we,
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because the goals that we set that are too high end up punching us in the gut on the back end. Okay.
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So a lot of times when you start a new weight loss program, it comes with all
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these rules that, you know, being thrown at you.
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And then, and then we kind of feel like somebody we're like, Oh yes, I'm good.
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I'm doing this and I'm cutting out carbs and I'm fasting every other day and
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I'm working out, you know, 12 times a week. or whatever it may be.
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And so it comes with a hundred restrictions and a hundred rules.
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And when we start it, tell me I'm wrong. When we start it, that makes us feel so strong.
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And I think part of it is because someone has laid it out for us and we're like,
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okay, I can do this because she said, this is what I have to do.
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So if I could just stick, if I had a dollar for how many times somebody has
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said to me, I just, I need someone to tell me exactly what to do.
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And then I can do it. I've done it. I can do it. And I'm like, really?
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Like, why are we back here trying to lose weight for the 57th time? You know what I mean?
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So what ends up happening is those same rules, those same meal plans,
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those same restrictions, everything you said you needed on the front end is
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what holds us down on the back end. Okay.
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And it causes us to give up and fail because it was too much.
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It demanded too much of you and you thought it was going to be good.
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You thought you could buckle down, but at the end of the day, it was too much.
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Okay. We all have so much going on and it is impossible to add so much more
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to your plate and have it stick.
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Okay. And honestly, at the end of the day, like if someone's asking me to choose
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my body size over my memories with my family, over special times,
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over food, like all day, every day, I'm picking them. I'm not picking this.
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Okay. And so that's, it's, it's in our, it's in our nature. We're like,
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I don't want to miss out on ice cream with my baby. Like.
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I'm not, I'm screw this diet. I'm going to eat some ice cream or whatever it may be. Okay.
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So to stick with a weight loss program for the long haul and actually enjoy
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life enough to want to keep doing it, right?
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It starts with assessing your current life.
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Okay. You cannot come in my program and ask me what I'm doing for weight loss.
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I mean, you could, and you could even try to copy me because a lot of my girls
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probably know what I'm, what I do,
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you know, how I eat, how I roll, but like it would
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not work for you because it's not your life okay
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you don't have an eight and a three-year-old you don't have a husband on the
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road all the time you don't have you know some of the time time constraints
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that I have but also some of the time availabilities that I have like it's all
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different for everybody okay so the first thing you need to do is assess your
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current life your schedules your habits your likes your dislikes and then you
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determine action steps that you can realistically take from there,
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okay? And we help you do that in the program.
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If you stick around, you might get like a freebie, okay, to help you do that as well.
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But we must reflect on our day-to-day in our lifestyle if we want to do something
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and be able to consistently work towards that, okay?
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If you are looking for something you can do hardcore for a few weeks so that
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you can fit into your bathing suit And then you can forget about everything you've learned.
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Like, this is not the place for you. Like, leave, leave.
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Because, I mean, honestly, you know, I'm learning a lot about who I want with
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me on this journey. And, like, I don't want the quick fixers.
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I want the ones that are in it for the long haul. But also the ones that are
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willing to really do this work to figure out what does my life look like,
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you know, and how can I fit these things in and be successful?
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Okay, so because we tend to look at weight loss as us fitting our life into
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the demands of weight loss, right?
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So when we start a program, we're like, okay, I'm going to fit my life into
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what these rules say, when in reality, we should be fitting the weight loss
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into our life demands. That's the only way it's going to work.
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It's the only way it's going to work and stick, okay? is if instead of us trying
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to conform to this box that someone has laid out for us, we bring that box over
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to us and say, okay, this is how you're gonna work for me today, okay?
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All right, so if you have five kids, stay on the road, have a husband out of
20:22
town, have food allergies,
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have coworkers that do Mexican every Friday, like whatever, a diet that involves
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like extreme meal prep or extreme
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carb cutting or extreme exercising or whatever is not for you, sis.
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Okay. You can say it all day long. You can say you're going to buckle down,
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but like every single time you're going to gain it back, write it down. Okay. So.
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You need a program with flexibility that will allow you to fit in what you can
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instead of you trying to fit that mold.
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Okay, I'm going to get off that side box. We're going to move on to the second step.
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Okay, the second step is once you've figured out your goals,
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okay, once you've figured out, okay, this is what I got, this is what I'm here
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for, then you have to learn how to fit in the foods that you love, okay?
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So many people. If you have not heard me before, you're like, this broad is crazy.
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Okay. But I'm serious. You have to learn. And I'm going to tell you why.
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I'm going to share some wisdom with you in a minute about why you have to learn
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how to fit in the foods that you love in order to lose weight and keep it off and stop failing. Okay.
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So first of all, though, I want to hit this. You must understand nutrition a little bit.
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Okay. So in here, in the lifestyle, we teach nutrition.
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Okay. So so many times people, you join a program and they tell you what to
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do, but they don't tell you why to do it. Okay.
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And so if you don't understand like why and what you're doing,
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you're never going to stick to it.
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Okay. So think about, think about when you were in school and you were forced
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to memorize the names of all the U.S. presidents. Okay. For an upcoming test.
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Okay. Cause I remembered having to do this. I hated history. Oh my God.
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Okay. So you memorized them knowing, knowing these names of all these U.S.
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Presidents did nothing for your life.
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It did not affect your life. Like you did not need to know that information. Okay.
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But it mattered for the test. So you did it.
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Okay. You took the test, you named the presidents and then you spent every day
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for the rest of your life, like not thinking about them presidents again.
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Okay. Unless you're my husband who's like a history geek. Okay.
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So why did you not think about those presidents again?
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Well, because those presidents did not truly affect your life.
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They did not truly like, nothing about that, that memorization resonated with
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you and your day-to-day experiences. So you left it. Okay.
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It's the same with any type of life change. Okay.
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You can receive instruction from one weight loss program or a million weight
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loss programs, and you can try to do what they say.
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Okay. You can prepare for the test, but if you don't determine and absorb the
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reasons for why it actually matters to you,
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why the changes they're telling you matter or how it affects you positively,
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other than I'm getting skinny. You know what I.
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Put that together in your brain, then you can walk them out and you give it up and you quit.
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Okay. You're walking out and you're giving up. Okay. So like,
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I know that half of y'all have tried low carb, lost weight, right?
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You just, and you just dropped the number. Okay. That two, you regain the weight.
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Not low carb, anything really. You've tried something, you've lost the weight,
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you quit and you regain the weight. Okay.
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So these people told you when you signed up, we're using low carb as the example today.
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Okay. These people told you when you signed up that low carb was good for you
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and it would help you lose weight. So you did it, right? Okay.
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You stuck it out. Even though you loved carbs, you stuck it out. You follow the rules.
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You passed the test and you lost the weight.
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Okay. But after a while, low carb proved to give you low energy.
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You had to spend too much time trying to figure out what you're going to eat.
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Okay. Is this low carb. How many grams is this? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
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You were missing out on foods and awesome experiences with friends and family. Okay.
24:21
Just for the sake of staying low carb. And like at the end of the day,
24:24
it just started to stink. Like it didn't matter as much to you anymore because
24:29
the offset of what it was stunk. Okay.
24:32
So just like with those presidents, after you did the work, after you pass the
24:37
test, the test is the weight loss, right?
24:39
If you did the work and you pass the test, you walked away from low carb and
24:42
you never looked back. Okay.
24:45
This is what weight loss cannot be like. If this is what weight loss is like
24:50
to you, then this is why you have never kept it off. Okay.
24:53
It's never stuck because it's not something you study for past the test and then quit.
24:59
Okay. It's not something you study for past the test and then quit.
25:01
Okay. You must understand what you're doing and you must be okay with why you're doing it. Okay.
25:07
And you must still be able to enjoy your life enough to stick it out.
25:11
So before moving on, I want to talk about enjoying your life just a little bit
25:15
because we do not exclude any foods around here. No foods are good or bad.
25:20
And there's actual science for why we do this. Okay.
25:23
So I'm going to tell you about the cookie and radish study. I know my girls
25:26
are like, y'all, I beat this study into their heads. Okay.
25:30
So the cookie and radish study real quick. All right. It was a study done by
25:34
some psychologists to study the willpower of people.
25:38
Okay. And so what they did was they took two groups of random people.
25:43
Okay. And they, they brought these people, this, this group into a room and
25:46
they said, Hey, we're going to put you in this room and we want you to hang out here.
25:52
Okay. And guess what? We're laying out all these fresh baked,
25:55
baked, homemade, smelling, delicious cookies, and you can eat as many as you want. Okay.
25:59
Just hang out here and eat cookies. All right. So they got this other group. All right.
26:03
And those, those people, I'm seeing slow connection again. Y'all let me know
26:08
if I'm here. Okay. Those people.
26:12
Were the radish group. So they could come in this group and hang out with these
26:16
cookie people. They can smell the cookies.
26:17
They can touch the cookies. They can do whatever, but they cannot eat the cookies.
26:21
They said, guess what? You cannot eat the cookies. You can hang out in this
26:23
room and smell these cookies and it's awesome, but you cannot eat them.
26:27
But we've got something better for you.
26:30
You can eat radishes instead. So if you get hungry, we've got all these radishes
26:35
over here waiting on you to be eaten.
26:38
Okay. So then they just left them there in the room and like watched them interact.
26:42
Well, of course the cookie people are living their best life,
26:45
just stuffing their faces with cookies.
26:47
Meanwhile, the radish people are like staring a hole in these people.
26:51
Okay. They are like, oh my gosh, I want that cookie.
26:55
Like some of the researchers said that like they went over and they like picked
26:58
up the cookies and smelled them.
27:00
Like they couldn't eat them, but they could still touch them and smell them. So anyway, all right.
27:04
After that torture for a little while, they left the room and moved them into
27:10
another room where they were going to take a test.
27:12
They all took the same test. It was a perseverance test.
27:15
Now, it wasn't a test of like knowledge, okay?
27:18
It was a test that like once you passed one problem, you had to go to the next.
27:22
So it was easy, but you just had to keep going, okay?
27:26
So at the end of the study, the cookie people by far exceeded the radish people
27:33
in this perseverance test.
27:35
And so the whole purpose of the study was to see if people, because it's easy
27:40
to believe, right, that that woman has more willpower than I do, right?
27:44
It's easy to believe that like she just must be, have been made stronger than me, right?
27:49
But this study was really to see and really to prove that that was not the case,
27:53
that we aren't just like one person is built with more willpower than the other.
27:58
It's about imagine like a willpower tank.
28:01
Okay. We all have a tank full of willpower. And so it's about as we are pushed
28:06
against different things that cause us like distress, the willpower tank goes down. Okay.
28:13
And so eventually if you're that radish person after sitting up in there staring
28:18
at cookies and maybe your stomach's growling and maybe, you know,
28:21
you are miserable, you're,
28:24
Your willpower has bottomed out so that you don't care about the test in the
28:31
next part of the section, right?
28:33
You don't care about the perseverance test.
28:35
And so why this matters for us is because that is life, y'all.
28:42
I mean, think about it. Think about like all the weeks that have been really
28:46
hard, really stressful weeks.
28:47
And then at the end of that week, you also happen to find yourself binging out
28:51
on food, okay? It is not a coincidence.
28:55
So, like, imagine you have decided on Monday, I am going to eat right.
28:59
I'm going to get some of this weight off, whatever.
29:01
You go in. Your willpower tank is full, probably because you had your last supper
29:04
on Sunday at the Mexican restaurant. Okay. So, you go in. Your willpower is to the top.
29:10
You walk in. Somebody has brought donuts to the break room.
29:13
You would usually go by there and get them donuts out of that break room,
29:16
but you don't because you are going to lose weight today. So then that willpower
29:20
tank drops a little bit because you had to use some of your willpower, right?
29:23
All right. So then you go to your office. Next thing you know,
29:26
your boss is in there and she's yelling at you, okay, about something you did not do.
29:29
And you were having to hold your tongue with everything in you to not get fired, okay?
29:35
Willpower tank drops one more time, okay? It doesn't have to be just food related.
29:39
It is just life related, all right?
29:40
Then you get a call from the school because your kid's got a behavior issue going on, okay?
29:44
Willpower tank drops again. And then you realize that you didn't bring your
29:48
lunch. You packed a healthy lunch.
29:50
You left it on the counter. You didn't bring it though.
29:52
You got to figure out what you're about to eat for lunch. And you're starving, by the way.
29:57
Okay, so you go to Chick-fil-A, you get a salad, but you really wanted the French
30:02
fries because my Lord, how do you drive through Chick-fil-A and not want them
30:06
French fries, y'all? I don't know.
30:07
But anyway, your willpower tank goes down again, right?
30:11
Okay, you get home. Your kids are driving you nuts. Your husband's in a bad
30:15
mood. everything stinks, that willpower tank is at the bottom.
30:19
What are we going to do with it? Okay, what do we do with it?
30:22
And so this is why it is impossible to say, don't eat this, don't eat that,
30:29
exclude this, exclude that.
30:30
You need to make sure to include this, include, because it sounds so well and
30:35
good until we actively try it out.
30:39
And then all those crazy random things
30:41
come at us, but it is depleting our willpower every step of the way.
30:45
Okay, So then you end up at the bottom of this willpower tank,
30:49
probably eating a row of Oreos and,
30:52
And you feel like something is wrong with you, okay?
30:55
When in reality, maybe the person who didn't go home and eat Oreos,
30:59
who may have had the same day as you, she may have taken some time to,
31:03
you know, take a five-minute walk and collect herself before she picked up them children.
31:07
Or she may have said, you know what? I really want these French fries today at Chick-fil-A.
31:12
I'm going to have them with some grilled nuggets, okay? So she may have been
31:15
working to build that willpower tank back up all day.
31:19
You don't know. You don't know because, again, willpower is not based on food.
31:23
So, like, quiet time, moving your body, you know, just doing things that you
31:29
enjoy, taking a long hot bath, those things can fill up your willpower tank as well.
31:34
So, like, any weight loss program that does not focus on the whole individual
31:41
and how food is so intertwined with that is going to be a failure every single
31:46
time, which, unfortunately, is a lot of these out here.
31:49
So I want to recap, though, before we move on. All right.
31:52
Number one, you need to learn about the nutrition in food, okay,
31:55
so that you know what you're eating and how it will affect you.
31:58
You still need to know the basics, okay?
32:00
Not right or wrong, just the basics, okay? And then you need to figure out how
32:05
to fit in foods that you love so that you keep your willpower tank steady or high, okay?
32:11
Fitting in foods, fitting in time, fitting in all the things so that you are
32:15
not so focused on how miserable things are and how bad it sucks to be at the
32:19
bottom of that willpower tank, right?
32:21
And then you can stay in between the lines of your needs every day.
32:25
All right. And then last, you need to enjoy your day-to-day life without too
32:30
much change, like specifically food-wise, to keep you from going off the deep end. Okay. All right.
32:36
The last step that I want to talk about before we get to some announcements and some fun things.
32:41
The last step that I want to talk about and how to stop being overwhelmed and
32:48
failing at weight loss is to learn to give yourself grace.
32:51
Okay. And if you are, if you've ever been around, you know that that is my anthem.
32:56
Okay. So with all the other things, you've got to know the nutrition.
33:00
You've got to have the good mindset. You've got to really be in tune with yourself
33:04
and how these things affect you.
33:06
But grace is my jam. Okay.
33:10
So if you're going to stop failing at weight loss, the first thing you have
33:15
to do is give yourself grace.
33:16
Okay. So I want to just like draw a parallel here. We know no one is perfect, right?
33:21
We know this about, we learn it. We talk about it in church.
33:25
We're like, everybody's sinners.
33:26
You know, we talk about it at work. We're like, I'm sorry, I made a mistake.
33:30
Okay. We talk about it with parenting.
33:31
Y'all, all these mommy bloggers sharing these things that make me cry about,
33:34
you know, making mistakes as parents or whatever.
33:36
We accept that no one is perfect in a lot of other areas of life.
33:42
And no one is, right? Not even like the super fit mom that you may see on your
33:46
Instagram feed or whatever. Like, no one is, okay? And so.
33:51
If we're all holding ourselves to a standard of perfect, we would fail every time, right?
33:55
But with nutrition, we forget it. And it's just the same, okay?
34:01
You should be in a program that you feel comfortable doing. You feel like is
34:05
not killing you every single day.
34:08
But then if you mess up, like you mess up, okay?
34:12
And so there are going to be days. There are going to be days that you eat your
34:14
feelings. There are going to be days that you were so busy, you don't even know what you ate.
34:17
So how the heck are you going to track it? There were going to be days that
34:20
you, you know, cried in your closet because your clothes didn't fit, okay?
34:23
There are going to be so many different things that go on in your days.
34:26
And the only reason that those days will take you down and cause you to fail
34:31
at weight loss is if you sit there, is if you let it, okay?
34:36
If you let it take your goals from you, because that's just a temporary emotion, okay?
34:42
And yeah, maybe the scale didn't go down exactly like you wanted it to this
34:46
week. But what if it was gonna next week and you didn't give it a chance?
34:50
And so you have to wake up tomorrow and resume to business as usual if you want
34:56
to finish, you know, reach the finish line.
34:58
And that requires you saying, okay, wasn't my best day, but I'm going to get up anyway. Okay.
35:06
And not sitting in it and dwelling in all those yucky feelings that we can just ruminate and ugh.
35:12
Okay, so part of this is in our program, we do not label any foods good or bad, okay?
35:19
Because that, for some reason, it makes it harder for our ladies to claim grace, okay?
35:24
So after years of doing this, I firmly believe that this is part of the problem
35:30
with people giving up, okay?
35:32
So if they pick the burger instead of the salad, then they look at it as like they were weak, okay?
35:38
And that's the beginning of a downward spiral of failure, okay?
35:42
So one of the main things that we do is we do not label food.
35:46
We look at food as food. No labels, no shame, just black and white.
35:50
This is what the nutrition looks like of it. But if you need the cookie today
35:53
instead of the salad, go sis, okay?
35:55
Because shaming a food decision will not help you be any more successful.
36:00
Shaming yourself for the Oreos in the pantry after you hit your bottom with
36:04
your willpower tank will not make you any more successful. So we do not shine
36:09
light on that, okay, whatsoever.
36:12
Some days you're gonna pick the salad because it's good, it tastes good,
36:16
it's good for your body, all the good things. Okay, good, good, good, good, good, okay?
36:19
Some days you're gonna eat the cookie out of straight up emotions, okay?
36:24
Whether you agreed with your decision after it was done doesn't matter anymore
36:29
because you cannot dwell on it anymore. You made the decision to eat the cookie, we move on, okay?
36:35
We don't sit there and we don't dwell on it, okay?
36:37
Because believe it or not, like in moments of regret around eating a cookie
36:42
or whatever, it's actually more regret about your failed expectations of yourself.
36:49
Okay. Cause you set this high expectation. I'm going to lose weight.
36:51
I'm not going to eat a cookie because losing weight means not eating a cookie, right? Wrong.
36:56
But, but you set this high expectation of yourself.
37:00
And so then you feel so bad because you did not meet your expectation of yourself
37:05
and you go into these thought spirals of I'm worthless. I can't do this.
37:09
I can never do anything I set my mind to whatever.
37:12
Okay. So it's, it's really not as much about the calories and the cookie and
37:17
the numbers or whatever as it is where your mind goes after you've done that.
37:23
Okay. So we focus on mindset strategies and techniques for how to heal from
37:29
the pain after a regretted decision, right,
37:32
around what we eat, but also how to face the emotional or irrational eating
37:37
struggles that are going to present, you know, while you're trying to lose weight,
37:41
how to face them with a more sound mind as you move forward in the future.
37:45
Okay. So it's like, it's all encompassing, right?
37:48
Like you've got to know about the food, but then you've also got to do that
37:51
mind work to be able to like, now I know the cookie is a bunch of sugar and
37:56
a bunch of empty calories, right? Like I know that because I learned that.
37:59
And some days you may willingly know that and choose the cookie, right?
38:05
And that is, well, we are celebrating with you, okay?
38:08
But it's, but so you've got to know about the food, but then you've also got
38:12
to do that brain work, do that mindset work to get yourself out of that negative
38:17
headspace of wanting to be so mad.
38:21
Okay, it went away, but all right, I think I'm back. All right.
38:23
Get yourself out of that negative headspace of wanting to be like so mad about
38:27
yourself, mad at yourself for the mistake.
38:30
Okay. So we like to equip you with the confidence to still choose the cookie
38:35
with a sound mind when the opportunity presents itself.
38:38
So you can fill up that willpower tank like we talked about, right?
38:42
And we like to make sure we give you the clarity to know the difference between
38:46
eating the cookie out of out of control standpoint versus one in control.
38:52
Okay, so we like to teach how to stay in control, whether you're choosing the
38:57
salad or whether you're choosing the cookie.
38:59
Okay, as long as you are making that decision from a sound mind and in control, we are so proud of you.
39:06
Okay, and what that does is it like alone, it having that control of saying,
39:12
I'm gonna have a cookie today.
39:13
And I'm cool with it. I did it this morning, y'all at moms, they had the best
39:16
looking cinnamon rolls.
39:18
And it was like, this weekend, I also I filled up my wheel power tank this weekend.
39:22
And so I'm like, I'm gonna I'm gonna be, you know, decent today.
39:25
I'm not I don't have time to exercise today.
39:28
But I saw them cinnamon rolls. And I'm like, Okay, I really want one of those. And then I let time pass.
39:33
And I split one with a friend. And so it was a sound decision.
39:38
Okay, it wasn't like, let me just grab a cinnamon roll and shove it in my mouth.
39:40
You know, like I said, like, it looks really good. I think it's worth it to taste. Yeah.
39:45
And I did it and I have no regrets, you know, but, but, but being able to do
39:50
that, that alone removes the level of overwhelm.
39:54
It removes the shame that comes behind it. Okay. And it is replaced with a peace
39:59
and a pride in the way you approach food, whether you lose a pound or not.
40:04
Honestly, I mean, you're going to lose weight if you stick to it,
40:06
but like the pride and the peace you feel around food is so much more powerful
40:13
than anything else, okay?
40:15
And so, you know, it just gives you that confidence when you are able and equipped
40:21
to make decisions like that.
40:22
It gives you that confidence to move forward in your food decision.
40:25
I hope you enjoy that little blip from our training.
40:29
And y'all don't forget, we're starting back with our new episodes next week.
40:34
As always, y'all remember to say grace.
40:38
Thank you for listening. to today's episode of Say Grace Podcast.
40:39
Music.
40:42
If you enjoyed it, it would mean the world to me if you left me a five-star review.
40:47
Also, make sure to follow the show so you don't miss another episode.
40:52
Plus, if you're interested in learning more about losing weight and eating the
40:56
foods you love, make sure to subscribe to the channel.
40:58
Music.