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Monday Mini: Mistress Day · Stuff Mom Never Told You

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and welcome to stuff
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: I've Never told you production of iHeart Radio.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: Okay, so for this Monday Mini Annie, we need to
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: start off with a timestamp, which is we are recording
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: on February eighth, twenty four and this will be released
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: though on Monday, February twelfth, twenty twenty four. If you
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: happen to listen on the day of this is when
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: we were recording it. If you're listening much long further
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: down the road, you're like, why are you talking about
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: Valentine's Day? Well, now you know why, because yes, Valentine's
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: Day is just around the corner as you're listening to this.
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: Of course, we had to do something that was related
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: to this day of love or day of commercially giving,
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: so we can judge our partners to on what they
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: gave us or didn't give us row food. By the way,
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: if anybody was asking, always food or a puppy, I'm
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: not adding to that list.
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: Puppy not for me. Have you seen pizza as a
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: breakup pizza?
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: Yes, they break it up break up.
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: It's like broken and it's broken.
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  Speaker 3: And the one I said we like swirled.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: We've gone from Valentine's Day is all that romance to like,
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: let's just stop.
• 1:30
  Speaker 3: Protecting what I think.
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  Speaker 2: It's kind of background being salty valentially as you were saying,
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  Speaker 2: But like the one I saw had the box with
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: the name to the person, sorry about that, yes, good luck.
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  Speaker 1: Can you imagine if he was a delivery person, like who, well? Breakup?
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  Speaker 2: This is like the equivalent of when you were in
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: middle school and you don't want to break up with them,
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: so your friend goes and tells you hey, so and
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: so it is breaking up with you, sorry, and then
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: moving on, and then that friend really loving that moment
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: because you know she gets they get to be a
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: part of it even though they are not a part
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: of this drama.
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: I feel like this is that equivalent.
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  Speaker 2: So if anyone, if like middle schoolers get a credit
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: card or get their parents' credit card, they're going to
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  Speaker 2: do this.
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: I can see just like sending this to people for foot.
• 2:18
  Speaker 3: I mean, if I get a free pizza out of it,
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  Speaker 3: that's not bad.
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: It's better than just being broken up with That's yeah.
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: I'm just saying I haven't had a pizza Hut pizza
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: in a very long time, so I don't know the quality,
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: but I'm just saying a pizza a win is a win.
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah at a certain point, yes, I mean definitely I'd
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: be like pizza hut. But then I'd be like, all right.
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: Sponsor, apparently we need to have it. I'm just kidding.
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: So with all of that, you know what, because we
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: have started one rabbit hole, we're gonna do another one.
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: So y'all can come with me into this very interesting
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: romantic tale of Mistress Day, which I didn't know anything about.
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: But Annie, you said you knew something about.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: I had heard of it. I think we had done
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: we'd done something on Ashley Madison. Yes, and it came up,
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: which I know you'll talk about more in a second,
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: but yes, it came up with that.
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and that makes sense. But it's been around before
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: Ashley Madison apparently. But for me personally, February thirteenth is
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: Gallantine's Day, which is all cheerful and great. See our
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: previous episode where we talked about it and we enjoy
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: the joys of that. Thank you, Parks and rec for
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: giving us a name for this holiday. But for some,
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: specifically those in the restaurant industry, because this is kind
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: of where it comes from is what many call Mistress Day. Me,
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: being my naive self, had no idea. Again, this was
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: a thing makes sense, but I didn't know. Yeah, but
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  Speaker 2: I will say part of this is kind of the
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: first thing I have in my head is like the
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: eighties nineties soap opera thing with the rich older men
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: taking out their Valentine to these restaurants on the on
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  Speaker 2: the low, you know. And by the way, again, rich
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  Speaker 2: people think, because Valentine's celebration is ridiculously expensive, you try
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  Speaker 2: to go out to this like prefixed menu, it is
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  Speaker 2: like four hundred dollars and that doesn't include drinks, which
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  Speaker 2: I did that last year because I just wanted to
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  Speaker 2: do it for one time round, have a nice little
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: I love a prefix milk. Like if it's good, it's good,
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  Speaker 2: But damn is expensive.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, yep.
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  Speaker 2: So for a person to do that twice in one week, well,
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  Speaker 2: I guess because the February thirteenth is not necessarily Actually,
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  Speaker 2: most of the restaurants that I was looking at recently
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  Speaker 2: they had a prefixed menu from like the twelfth to
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  Speaker 2: the fifteenth, so they were covering their damn basis.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah. I think it's like if you can't get one,
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  Speaker 1: you can't get a reservation and or you're busy. Reason Yeah,
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: just put that quote, say yeah for whatever.
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  Speaker 3: For whatever reason. Yeah, yeah, yes.
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  Speaker 2: But thanks to TikTok again for informing me of such
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  Speaker 2: practices and more specifically to Delish the site who did
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  Speaker 2: an article and did a whole video talking about these
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  Speaker 2: things and traditions. So here's a definition from them. Mistress
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  Speaker 2: Day is the day when affair havers choose to shower
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  Speaker 2: their other special someone prior to whining and dining their
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: actual partner on February fourteenth, they explain. Also Mistress Day
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  Speaker 2: also called mistress Night or paramore Night, which I like
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: that title better. I'm not gonna lie. It apparently occurs
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: on the day before Valentine's Day. So there you go.
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  Speaker 2: And there's a couple another term that we're gonna talk
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: about a minute. I think it's just as funny. And
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: the article continues. A study from Ashley Madison Australia suggests,
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: yes the Affair Website, so take this with a grain
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  Speaker 2: of salt, that thirty percent of male and female cheaters
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: typically spend Valentine's Day with their outside partners, and they
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  Speaker 2: often spend the same or more on their affair partners
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  Speaker 2: during the holiday, between one hundred dollars to two hundred
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  Speaker 2: and fifty dollars per partner. Again, why would you cheat?
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: It's expensive, That's what I'm finding out.
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  Speaker 1: It is expensive. And it's also, like I think, pretty
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  Speaker 1: telling if you spend more because you don't want them
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: to say something, You're like, see, I appreciate you. Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: So a couple of the articles that I read outside
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  Speaker 2: of this, and they were older, so one of them
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  Speaker 2: was two thousand and nine, one of them was two thousand,
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: one of them was twenty eleven, so a little older,
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  Speaker 2: and talking about these some of them said that a
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  Speaker 2: seventy percent of more people who have these partners I
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  Speaker 2: guess will will be spending more on them, so they're
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: more likely going to spend more and then move on
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  Speaker 2: and kind of talked about how the women or people
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: who are their spouses or actual partners get less and
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: less and less every year.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's so sad. Do better people.
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  Speaker 2: Again, all of this makes me very sad, both for
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: the amount spent in general, to the cheating and to
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: the cheating, Like both of those things, I'm like don't wow, wow,
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  Speaker 2: Like I want to be cared.
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  Speaker 3: For, but I want thoughtful presence just knowing that you care.
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah, any I know you care, Which does bring in
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: the perspective that it may not be about mistresses at all,
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  Speaker 2: just as a reminder, but couples who are making smart
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: financial deals and decisions and also not messing with those crowds,
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: so they're like, yeah, we're gonna do it ahead of
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  Speaker 2: time or later, we'll just do our own thing, so
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  Speaker 2: you know, that's one option. Or perhaps they are polyamorous
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: or in an open relationship so they are communicating, so
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  Speaker 2: it's not so much cheating or so we can't judge
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  Speaker 2: any of these things by that appearance.
• 8:02
  Speaker 3: Because you never know.
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  Speaker 2: You never know, So as just someone like, don't become
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  Speaker 2: that person that comes to like you're cheating unless you
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: actually know.
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  Speaker 3: I guess.
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  Speaker 2: Also, can we talk about how this sexist idea lenks
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  Speaker 2: very heavily into the rich man having an affair thing,
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  Speaker 2: because again, mistress day is definitely gendered as we see it,
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  Speaker 2: and of course one article the New York Post puts
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: it this way, mistress day has become a misnomer as
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  Speaker 2: more cougars have gotten in on the action.
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  Speaker 3: So there you go.
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  Speaker 2: I guess, and then there are some descriptions of that.
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  Speaker 2: So I was like, okay, add another sexist term to
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  Speaker 2: that to make it worse. While this is just a
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  Speaker 2: fair having men's mistresses and cougars.
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  Speaker 3: In that term. I was like, yeah, that's about right.
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  Speaker 2: But there is another term also for this practice I
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  Speaker 2: enjoy a bit more, I will say, which is valence
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  Speaker 2: swinds day, y'all valence swins And I was like, oh, okay,
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  Speaker 2: which is not to be confused to the German tradition
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  Speaker 2: of their own form of Valentine's I guess I don't
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  Speaker 2: know if that's.
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  Speaker 3: What they call it.
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  Speaker 2: I'm sure they don't call it valence Wine's day that
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  Speaker 2: Germany has a term for it. But they do actually
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: exchange pigs. Oh unfortunately, not real ones, because I want
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: to pop belly pigs. I'm gonna give me one, just kidding,
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  Speaker 2: but keep seeks and the such, and pigs are considered
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: good luck and oftentimes will be a picture of pig
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  Speaker 2: instead of cupid. So yeah, that's a practice, but this
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  Speaker 2: is not what we're talking about. This is not a
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  Speaker 2: cute term of endearment for that no, but as would indicate,
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: people use this term as more of a dig as
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: a New York Post titled it. Titled their twenty eleven
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  Speaker 2: piece about this subject, Valence Swine's Day When Pigs romance mistresses. Dang,
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: and I was like, you know what, I really appreciate
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  Speaker 2: this title, So we're going to gender it.
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  Speaker 3: Let's do it this way.
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  Speaker 2: Because I'm like, at the very least, we're not blaming
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  Speaker 2: the mistress on this one, just the mistress this way.
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: Paramore day, Paramore night. I feel like it is a
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  Speaker 2: fancier version, right, Yeah, maybe that's Ashley Madison term. And
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: of course we had to do the our urban dictionary
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  Speaker 2: example about this term the day before Valentine's Day that
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  Speaker 2: guys used to spend time with their second or third
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  Speaker 2: most important woman in their lives. February thirteenth is the
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  Speaker 2: day that mistresses get to feel like wives and sideline
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  Speaker 2: hoes get to feel like star players. Yes, this is
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  Speaker 2: all urban dictionary, y'all. It's especially sad when the girl
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: doesn't know she's not the only girl her boyfriend is seeing.
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: And of course they have a little dialogue. So you
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: want to be girl too in this Annie, Yeah, sure,
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: all right, here we go, girl. So he's taking you
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: out the day before Valentine's Day.
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he has to work late on Valentine's Day.
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure he's going to be with his actual girlfriend.
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: That's why he's taking you out on valence Swine's Day.
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: Living and scene and scene, Well, you need to do
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: these more often. But yeah, so apparently it's a thing.
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  Speaker 2: I'm not really I try to find the history of
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: where that began. Maybe it's just the easily done, like
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: obvious term and it just kind of grew with that,
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: But yeah, it did start. It does look like it
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  Speaker 2: originated from restaurants because they had to prepare and knowing
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: that how much money they were going to make or
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: who's coming in. A lot of servers were interview talking
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: about how they were, you know, given the eye or
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: the look from the cheater like please please play it cool.
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  Speaker 2: How often times they were so uncreative, not creative that
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: they would come to the same place two or three
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: times back to back to back, so they knew who
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: these people were. I think there was one person talked
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: about how they did out them quite loudly and it
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: was quite funny. And then there was another person talking
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: about how she had a huge tip because the dude
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: was like realizing she wasn't playing along because she would
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: look just look more confused more than anything else, not
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: saying anything, just obviously wasn't aware of what's happening. And
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: it was like please with the love of Jesus and
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: gave her a huge tip in order to keep her quiet.
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: Ah geez.
• 12:34
  Speaker 3: So there you go.
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: Happy Valentine's Day. I hope your Valentine's Day is better
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: than this mess right here if you happen to celebrate,
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: If you would just rather do the joys of Gallantines,
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: we hear you, and Happy Gallantine's Day from us.
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes, yes, yes, and if you want to go
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: check out are you know not too oftenly updated Instagram.
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: We did prior to the pandemic a Gallentine's Day post
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: from Disneyland. It's true, it's very cute. Thank you, that
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: is very cute. But yes, whatever you're doing, because again,
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: I'm pretty much just like eating food by myself and
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: I'm pretty excited about it. You can email us at
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: Stephania mom Stuff at iHeartMedia dot com. You can find
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: us on Twitter at mom Stuff podcast, on Instagram and
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: TikTok at stuff whe Never told you we have a
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: tea public store, and we have a book you can
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: get wherever you get your books. Thanks as always too
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: our super producer Christina or executive producer My and your
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: contributor Joey.
• 13:34
  Speaker 3: Happy Galentine's Day and Friends Day.
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: Yes, Yes, thanks to you for listening. Stefan ever told
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: you the production of My Heart Radio. For more podcasts
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: from My Heart India, you can check out the radio app,
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: Apple Podcast or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.