Latest / Aspergers & Autism Podcast [The Aspie World] AuDHD / Autism Communication Problems!

Transcript

Autism Communication Problems! · Aspergers & Autism Podcast [The Aspie World] AuDHD

0:00
You have arrived, welcome to the as be World.
0:04
Here's where we talk about anything and everything ASD in
0:07
an upbeat and informative way. And now here's your man on the
0:12
Spectrum, your autism Ambassador.
0:15
Daniel Morgan Jones. Hey guys, what's going on?
0:23
Welcome back to another live podcast interview and I say
0:25
live, but this is kind of like pre-recorded but it's completely
0:28
life, we is unedited. So I haven't done one of these
0:30
in a while because everyone's been sick.
0:32
I mean, I've been sick. A covered my assistants
0:34
Whimsical covid. Like it's been crazy.
0:36
So happy New Year and all that jazz, but we're back with
0:40
another episode. And yeah, this guess is quite an
0:42
interesting. Guess we've been talking a
0:43
little bit before brushing record and I'm very excited to
0:46
dive into the brain of our guests today.
0:50
So answered, you want to kind of Of introduce yourself and tell
0:54
us who you are. Sure, Mayans are seraphim.
0:58
I teach communication, applied behavioral, psychology
1:02
persuasive, psychology applied, cognitive neuroscience, and
1:07
psychosocial Dynamics To See Sweets, entrepreneurs,
1:10
Executives salespeople and I develop those skills.
1:15
Basically, to cope and kind of grow from from being basically
1:19
75% nonverbal at 11. I definitely high functioning
1:24
because is that the communication between high
1:26
functioning and Asperger's I definitely had a big facility
1:28
with languages early on but I think one of the reasons that I
1:31
kind of pull back a little bit, was one of my early special
1:34
interest was works and so I got into you, I read a dictionary
1:39
and really encyclopedias was devouring all that stuff and I
1:42
didn't realize it at the time, you know, if this kid but you
1:45
can really other yourself with language with other people.
1:48
So my first attempts at trying to learn how to talk to people
1:50
just kind of went out the window and I had a lot of challenges
1:53
and stuff growing up. Didn't have a real friend, you
1:56
know, speak of that I could interact with on a normal basis
1:59
other than like, sharing an activity or something like that
2:01
until I was almost 25, which but I kind of came from that age
2:05
before that generation before we started passing out.
2:09
Diagnosis kids, I think the median age for diagnosis, sounds
2:12
like four years old. And that's right.
2:14
And I was 19 so I mean, as an adult, I had to come across all
2:18
this new information on joining the military and it's access to
2:21
Medical Care and That Was Then I really found out there was a
2:24
name for what was going on with me.
2:26
Yeah. And then the next five years
2:27
after that, we're just trying to figure it out.
2:29
And, you know, I was involved in information technology and all
2:32
that for like, 15, 16 years, I thought that was what I was
2:35
going to do it for the rest of my life.
2:36
And then there's a journey of having to reprogram myself.
2:39
Basically, led me to so much, you know, conversational and
2:43
personality psychosocial safety and so that I end up doing it
2:46
for a living, which I find really, I realize.
2:48
Yeah, it's fascinating really. And I have a question because he
2:51
said he was 20, 70 or 75 percent nonverbal, right up until you
2:54
like age 11, how did you know what were you thinking was going
2:59
on? Like what would your parents
3:00
think? What did you think?
3:01
Like, do you think? Oh my goodness, like what is
3:02
wrong with me? Or were you kind of like, you
3:04
know, cause you weren't diagnosed until later on?
3:05
So how I grew up in a house with two music teachers?
3:09
And so it was really hard for me, I was always trying to hide
3:12
from the noise, you know what, even if you love music,
3:17
listening to a six-year-old, try to learn how to play Twinkle,
3:19
Twinkle Little Star violin could be think that serious.
3:22
Appearance and that's without a speedy.
3:23
So, you know, I had so much trouble connecting.
3:29
And I remember when I was a kid, I had this desire to like how
3:33
friends and connected and to be intimate with the other kids,
3:36
but I couldn't, I didn't know what that was supposed to look
3:38
like, or how I was supposed to get there and because I had so
3:41
much trouble talking to people at one point I think I was in
3:44
like, Worth grade or third grade.
3:48
And I was chasing the other kids around the playground, trying to
3:50
kiss them. Because I mean, that was the
3:52
closest approximation that could come to, in my brain was like
3:55
playing interaction of intimacy and I just spent the rest of my
3:59
time alone. So it's a very solitary kit and
4:02
you would have thought I would have developed a lot of social
4:04
skills having 40 families, a week, come and music lessons and
4:07
all that. But all I ever really wanted was
4:09
for them to get out of my space at how do ya with a man read a
4:12
book or something in that? I never knew.
4:15
New, wary of those proclivities came from and it was only when I
4:18
got that diagnosis as an adult and then had to like, look,
4:22
backward over all challenges and I think gave me the option at
4:26
that point. They said some people on the
4:27
Spectrum can stand some people yet.
4:29
We're going to be the choice and I almost stayed in.
4:32
But I had a friend of upswing said, well, you know, this is
4:34
all new information to you. And what if, you know, some of
4:38
the stuff that we've been talking about hyper Focus or
4:40
this or that or difficulty transitioning tasks or what does
4:43
that ends up making making Make a mistake in the military and
4:46
you end up hurting someone or taking someone's life for you if
4:49
you want to live with that. And I thought long and hard
4:52
about it, you know, I decided okay, well, I probably need to
4:55
work on myself now and that was hard for me.
4:57
Because, you know, as a kid and went all the way through High
5:00
School, everything and I got overwhelmed by the prospect of
5:02
driving. I didn't get my driver's license
5:04
until I was 37. And so the idea of joining the
5:08
military and getting to go into a different system and have a
5:11
different direction and cultivate direct that, that was
5:13
a big, I guess opportunity felt like was a Lifeline for me,
5:16
which is why I wanted it. And then to find out that maybe
5:19
I shouldn't be doing at the first place.
5:21
It really kind of affected the emotion kick in the nook is
5:23
right? That's so, in terms of like he's
5:26
a question, you know, like and I can totally relate to being
5:29
quite isolated as a child and myself.
5:31
When I was in primary school or preschool, I was, you know, I
5:37
didn't play the other kids, I didn't go outside in the
5:39
playground where the kids actually stayed indoors, and I
5:41
was learning things on, and I talked about this quite in
5:44
depth, in my book that's coming out.
5:45
Here and and I talked about like how I used to stay in research
5:50
and Carter, you know, remember the encyclopedia so I just had
5:56
like a confidence Encyclopedia of science how way things work
5:59
with the cyclope and make that my grandmother got Furniture is
6:02
like the 30 volumes. Yeah, that's so good.
6:05
We had a few of them but a lot of them are missing though.
6:07
I didn't know. You know what I was like when I
6:08
was 11 years old, I was homeless.
6:10
So like, you know, but basically we do have a lot of those things
6:12
but in school we had in Carter. And so I used to kind of Yeah,
6:16
just kind of digest as death because you don't have any books
6:18
growing up, which is annoying, but but yeah, but the question I
6:22
have is what, for me I didn't feel like I was alone because I
6:26
enjoyed that time, and my own learning those things I didn't
6:29
feel like, oh, I'm missing out on friendships.
6:30
I'm missing out and playing with other kids in the yard.
6:32
How did you how did you feel about that?
6:34
Was it was it, someone experienced or we set up until I
6:38
got to the point where I started to be like romantically
6:41
attracted to like someone of the opposite sex or felt that kind
6:45
of Teenage needs to like be able to like get into social groups
6:50
and stuff. I was very content being on my
6:53
own and you know it didn't strike me as weird that I would
6:56
go all the way to the corner of the gymnasium, or go sit by
7:00
myself a class from the have lunch.
7:02
Because that was just, it was just too much stimulation.
7:06
It was, it was nice and quiet. I didn't have to worry about
7:09
people asking me, uncomfortable questions.
7:11
And the other kids are really mean to me because I was
7:14
different and kids are always. Trying on different social roles
7:17
when they're younger. Couple bullies who don't follow
7:19
me home on the on the bus after school, like throw rotten fruit
7:22
at me and stuff like that stuff, you know, just because you to
7:25
experiment. And then, you know, I have my
7:27
own experience of being homeless, after I got out of the
7:30
military and had all that struggle with trying to make
7:33
that better. And at first, I failed terribly.
7:36
And when I did, you know, I just, I just kind of wandered
7:40
for was like, eleven months, one of the coolest cities in the
7:42
United States. It was really, really, really
7:44
rough, but they taught me. A lot about myself.
7:46
And it also taught me about how under-diagnosed, you know, a lot
7:51
of medical conditions and stuff are in the Indigent population,
7:54
just because, you know, they don't get that Medical Care at
7:57
stuff and a lot of that homelessness.
7:59
And we're houseless sometimes is perpetuated by by mental
8:03
illness, or mental diseases, or, and, and that was really
8:07
enlightening to, I think, Feeling alone than the process
8:12
of having ASD and not having other people that I could
8:16
connect with our support group or, you know, and just having to
8:19
kind of go it on my own. I didn't feel that sense of
8:21
community that I think people in today's generation do.
8:24
And and that generational difference of what it's like to
8:26
have a disability 20 years ago versus now absent so different.
8:31
Yeah. I mean I was saying this I was
8:34
briefing the European Parliament about In this fucking 2020.
8:40
And I had to do it over Zoom because like the lockdown was
8:43
developed, it was imminent. And what I did they invited me
8:46
over there to like that to France and was like, dude, I'm
8:49
not going to do that with and they were like, yeah, we fine.
8:51
And I was like, no way. And then like, you know, monthly
8:52
it, look down happened, but but yeah.
8:54
So, I briefed them on how autistic people have like, less
9:00
access to things because all about employment, right?
9:02
And I said, like imagine you're an employer, you know, this day
9:06
and age who didn't make accommodations for someone who
9:08
is a wheelchair user? That kind of disability.
9:10
You'd have like lawsuits coming out your ass but if you go back
9:14
to like the 1930s, I mean, it'd be your own fault for a
9:17
wheelchair user, right? So they'll be like, get on with
9:19
it. - not my problem, find something else to do so.
9:21
But that's why I feel that autism on University is now
9:24
we're like into disability. That's not accommodated because
9:27
it's not the topic of everyone's mind.
9:29
They're just like, oh whatever, but we need a legal status,
9:32
placed the to help kind of like for employment and public spaces
9:37
and public services have accessibility for I'm right, and
9:40
that's exactly a generation thing.
9:42
Those issues there too. I think you know it's not just
9:45
awareness of stuff like that. I got into like the project of
9:48
Designing a 501 c 3 or a non-profit here in the states
9:51
and I was in the middle of doing that with a friend just before
9:55
covid head and we were coming up with a like a computer database
9:59
distribution system along with ride sharing.
10:01
With drivers with proper training for disability
10:04
services. We also know how to like avoid
10:06
sensory issues with that with driving around.
10:09
You have a have a tablet with a call button to be able to call,
10:11
like, call emergency contact all that kind of stuff because you
10:15
have a whole bunch of people, you know, with ASD who under the
10:19
age of 25. Don't have the ability to be
10:21
employable know exactly one of the things that was really
10:24
interesting about 2020. Is it showed so many companies
10:28
that they don't need necessarily have their employees in the
10:31
workplace and have employees at home?
10:33
And so, that was one part of it. I think for me, but I think
10:37
another and this is true, not just Just with ASD but also you
10:40
know with a lot of other states of nerd diversions but also
10:44
nonlinear thought you know nonlinear thinking is I think
10:46
something that always have to approach to because we're
10:49
definitely in that group of that.
10:50
Venn diagram of you know, not necessarily thinking of a
10:52
straight line that when you think and process things
10:57
differently, people don't understand because you were talk
11:00
about example, wheelchair. When someone has a has a symptom
11:04
of a disability that's visible. Then people will make mental
11:09
Since our space for that person, you don't get angry at your
11:11
friend, who's in a wheelchair for not helping you move, but
11:16
when you have a friend who has this ADHD or deaf friend as, you
11:20
know, has a St and they're they're hyper Focus, or they
11:22
accidentally have a one-sided conversation or change in front
11:25
of emotionally reciprocate by talking about themselves or, you
11:28
know, those challenges that same behavior in a neurotypical
11:34
person would be them being a jerk.
11:36
So, I had that that experience of Of everyone thinking that I
11:40
was being a jerk and getting treated that way, and not
11:43
understanding why. And when I went and started
11:46
working in the corporate say, I used to go to the training for
11:50
the engagement ring sales in the North, by Northwest United
11:52
States. Cool was teaching, like,
11:54
emotional Dynamics, and that kind of thing.
11:56
And that whole process. Really showed me how much we
12:01
need to grow to be able to have more diversity in the workplace.
12:05
How, what kinds of things need to be different, you know, as a
12:08
store manager with that. Largest retail jewelry of and
12:10
jewelry. I'd States.
12:12
I went to a manager's meeting with 1600 managers, Holy Spirit
12:16
or being just pipelined in these, these tiny hallways into
12:20
these crowded rooms with all this noise and it was hell.
12:24
And I had to take your plugs are protection and vision.
12:27
You'll feel the vision restricting classes and nobody
12:30
understood why I was so uncomfortable.
12:33
And I think that that awareness of not only the difference
12:38
between And you know, symptoms and character traits.
12:42
But also people taking Behavior as communication because when
12:46
behavior is a symptom of something.
12:48
Yeah, okay. She is just a symptom.
12:50
Yeah. That can hit people up in
12:52
relationships and their division relationships and stuff, too.
12:54
And that's one of the things I talk about when I talk to
12:56
people. Yeah.
12:57
I think like, you know, the that is a big issue, especially with
13:00
like relationships, and I think it takes like a certain type of
13:03
neurotypical person to really get an autistic person
13:06
especially when you're entering into, like, you know, a romantic
13:08
relationship or whatever. And it really, it really is
13:11
interesting because like nobody sees that struggle and they all
13:14
think you're like a narcissistic asshole and I get that all the
13:17
time like your narcissistic or you're you know you're an
13:20
egotistical prick or whatever. I'm like cheese but I'm not, you
13:23
know, like I'm not at all and one of the biggest things is
13:27
people thinking that I'm really aggressively angry or I have
13:29
anger management issues when I don't like a really I'm really
13:32
calm it's just that I have a fear issue you know a fear-based
13:35
kind of response to things and I think that's probably those
13:38
misunderstandings. Standings, probably the biggest
13:41
issues we have between the autistic world and enormous it.
13:44
Aquatic bridging that some of it is self-imposed of her master.
13:48
I will stay that because of the first thing that I learned, you
13:51
know, was to try to fit in and the problem with that is that
13:56
when you behave like a neurotypical, person you're
13:59
putting me I spend all that energy to be able to put up that
14:01
facade. The reward.
14:03
For all of that effort is that when you do finally make a
14:05
mistake that mistake is taking the worst context, Whereas if
14:09
you don't share your challenges positively at the beginning I
14:13
think that's that's what's hard is hard right now for a lot of
14:16
people to learn how to self-advocate because they don't
14:18
know what it looks or sounds like.
14:20
And so it's abstract and it's it's just another source of
14:22
anxiety and social fear. Yeah.
14:24
And something else to worry about, right?
14:26
And that's the thing about my skin.
14:27
Like, it could be used as a viable technique, as well, which
14:30
is kind of like, humans instinctively do that, right?
14:33
But we'll just take individuals, or in your diverse individuals,
14:36
they will do that masking because they're trying to
14:38
survive. I've a, I called swimming with
14:40
sharks in my book. It's talk about is quite a lot
14:43
and it's like, how do you fit in with the shaft?
14:44
We act like a shark. But then the problem you've got
14:47
with masking is that, you know, sharks are sharks and fish a
14:51
fish, right? And if you're a fish trying to
14:52
act like a sharp, you'll only go so much, you know, you can
14:55
pretend to be a shark. But then when the shark stop
14:56
behaving like sharks, you're kind of like, okay I don't have
15:00
razor-sharp teeth. So I'm like in the depth here
15:02
like and so it's really interesting.
15:04
You can get you into all kinds of trouble metaphorically
15:07
speaking, as well as literally speaking.
15:08
And so I think, you know, on a home asking can be something
15:13
that can be used as a survival technique in any situation with
15:16
anybody. But also, we have to be very
15:18
aware of that. We're going to create a mask or
15:21
an invitation, then we should be able to understand the full
15:24
extent. Are we able to actually walk
15:25
this walk in? And I mean, I'm not a clinician
15:28
so, I mean, it might my psychological opinions are based
15:31
on a decade. The half of being super involved
15:33
in that not from seeing patients or anything like that.
15:35
But I will say that the process Yes, of suffering through saying
15:41
social anxiety, being socially ostracized, going through the
15:44
trauma of being misunderstood mislabeled other.
15:49
By people that sometimes you can have a PTSD reaction to that to
15:53
that, you can literally develop post-traumatic stress from the
15:57
stress of being socially excluded, and made to feel
16:01
emotionally isolated. And I think that one of the
16:04
things that is missing from disability education is being
16:08
able to sell fast. To recognize if you have
16:11
involuntary emotional responses, or avoidance of particular
16:15
situations, or places or negative changes in your belief
16:17
systems or hyperarousal being hyper-vigilant and recognizes.
16:22
That means that you've been traumatized because no matter I
16:24
can speak, you know, clearly as a person with 17 years of
16:27
experience in Psychology if I have trauma, I have to talk to
16:30
somebody else. I can't use what I know to help
16:33
myself because you can't refrain cognitive belief systems using
16:37
your own internal internal. It doesn't work.
16:40
Yeah, yeah. And like it kind of like, you
16:44
know, the whole mental health aspect of it is something like
16:48
like an example. Like you saying, knowing like
16:51
self have, occasionally is all-knowing self kind of like,
16:54
oh and I smoked this, you know, I realize that's a symptom of
16:57
something else and for me one of the biggest ones is is OCD,
17:02
right? Like, I don't even know that
17:03
something's a little CD until I kind of like it catches me off
17:06
guard. Or I'm like, I'm really
17:07
frustrated that I really want to leave the house.
17:09
Something like, oh, shit, like this is a whole OCD routine
17:12
that's just taken, hold of my life.
17:14
And so, I think people learning more about themselves and I
17:18
think it starts with a diagnosis.
17:19
So, a diagnosis been learning more about themselves learning,
17:21
how to understand and, and, and identify, you know, people say,
17:25
why do you do so many videos on identifying autism, traits?
17:27
And like, because people don't even know, you know, people
17:29
don't know. This is like, at real people.
17:31
Do not like to working as a tray of people.
17:32
Don't know about like, you know, OCD is, it would be presented
17:36
like this and I think that's important and you're absolutely
17:38
right. It, you know, and I'm not
17:40
calling you that. I mean, I do have I do a
17:42
background in Psychotherapy for counseling or a very low grade.
17:46
But in terms of the other stuff, it's kind of like through lived
17:50
experience, right? And I can, that's how I know
17:52
just, thank you. And that could be misinformed,
17:56
you know? I think one of the most
17:57
eye-opening books that I ever read, when I finally made this
18:00
decision to try to come out of my shell and learn learn micro
18:04
Expressions, we're going to talk to people.
18:06
Learn, you know, learn appropriateness, understand,
18:08
sarcasm, Some of these things that were not innate to me, was
18:14
reading a book by Carl Sagan called the dragons of Eden and
18:18
he talks about the, The evolutionary, pre-stressed,
18:20
biological priests types. That cause the formation of
18:23
human consciousness, and sometimes we forget that there's
18:28
millions of years of evolutionary process, that's
18:31
driving behind some of the basic mechanisms that make up the
18:34
brain. And one of them is just with,
18:37
with the hippocampus with with Recording when your cortisol and
18:41
adrenaline levels and stuff Spike, me of a negative
18:43
experience. Your brain goes into heavy
18:45
recording mode, is like a high-speed can't.
18:47
Why? Time seems to slow down.
18:49
Yeah, the so much more emotional Primacy, that's placed on
18:53
negative experiences that I think that's psychological
18:58
awareness that self-awareness that your experience traveling
19:02
through life with the set of biological systems that you're
19:05
given can inherently. Distort your perception and that
19:11
what you see, as truth is actually a fun house mirror and
19:13
being able to have the self-awareness to go through
19:16
that process and to be able to to verify and change belief
19:20
systems. I think that's huge.
19:22
I think it's part of self and others including a disability or
19:24
not definitely and you know it's really interesting you just
19:26
reminded me of something really like messed up that I came
19:29
across. I was doing some research into
19:30
this kind of thing. Whole, you know, like you know,
19:33
you remember everything that happens to you in the - you know
19:35
like it was like you don't know, very fine details of - or
19:39
Unhappy experiences because like everything slows down you might
19:42
just touch recording everything in great detail because you are
19:44
trying to figure out a way out of that mess, right?
19:46
Your body is kind of going like, right.
19:48
How do I get myself away from paying towards pleasure?
19:50
Like how do I do it? And when you think this is
19:53
interesting, this is the part that really is fascinating.
19:57
When you go to recall, when you do a stimulation recall, when
20:00
you or memory recalls, like we record time.
20:02
Where you've been in - experience.
20:05
You like oh yeah and you'll see it through your own eyes, you
20:07
know, in the memory you'll be like I'm sitting there and
20:10
semicolon punched me in the face and look this way, and you can
20:13
see it as you looking through your own items through the
20:14
memory bank. But if you go recall a time,
20:18
when you want a really happy time are very pleasant time.
20:21
You'll see yourself in the third person, you'll be like, watching
20:23
a movie of yourself doing those things.
20:25
You don't necessarily know how you were feeling.
20:27
Yeah. You don't know.
20:28
Yes, you know how you're feeling, but you just, you'll
20:30
see the image rather than live the image.
20:32
You don't mean that worse, the cognitive process of building,
20:38
you know, a cop - systems and having firmly held beliefs about
20:43
the way that the world works and in much the same way that the
20:46
stomach was evolved to understand how much volume of
20:49
food was in it. Not how many calories you have
20:52
as food, technology moves on the home screen Collins for the same
20:55
stomach, and now we have an obesity problem.
20:57
It's the same problem with the brain.
20:59
You know, if you're predisposed to lay awake at 4:00 in the
21:03
morning, remembering that job interview from 15 years ago.
21:06
And that's what you remember and the positivity.
21:09
Lost. Then it changes your narrative
21:12
and speaking personally because I have a kind of a quasi
21:15
autobiographical memory, the recording the frames of
21:20
recording in the different times of my life.
21:23
Those frames have been rolling way, way faster during the night
21:26
didn't work my narrative and I think that we get, especially if
21:30
you have Asperger's and you're more of an entity type in more
21:33
logical, we can get into that thing of kind of discounting or
21:36
dismissing those happy-go-lucky. Bongo drum people who want to
21:40
celebrate all these happy experiences but psychologists
21:43
disagree with somewhere between 5 and 25, times more times, that
21:48
you have to have a positive experience for it to have the
21:50
same weight on you as a negative experience.
21:53
And that means everyone's fun house mirrors or warped.
21:56
Yeah underrepresented. Yeah put but I know exactly mean
21:59
I'm a intj. Yeah.
22:04
So it's really funny you should say that because like it's it's
22:08
I've noticed something People who have a similar diagnosis to
22:10
us and like I'm guessing you've got high Q is 1, right?
22:15
Unfortunately. Yeah.
22:17
So like we all categorized in the intj kind of like seeing and
22:20
it's really funny because we all have the same.
22:22
Well, very similar interests and anthropology and and cognitive
22:26
psychology and and everything interesting to us.
22:30
Yeah. And I think that's, that's super
22:31
interesting and I went and, you know, I think my my kind of take
22:35
on this wire complex that I love algorithms, right?
22:37
I love it and I correctly. And I was like, I was writing
22:40
one out this yesterday. I don't like people.
22:43
They make sense, right? And you know what it is?
22:45
Do you know what it is? And this is the crazy thing.
22:46
It's because we like to solve problems and every complex
22:51
systems are problems. I love systems.
22:53
I love any type of system like and it's because it's a problem
22:56
because I have a really efficient, right?
22:58
Exactly. It's like, how can you make a
23:00
system work smoother? Like I always want try to
23:02
optimize shit like I'm all histogram of them, my stuff.
23:05
There you go. Dude, and I love I'd like
23:09
another one of my friends is obsessed with Rubik's cubes and
23:12
she's on the Spectrum as well. And it's I approached a lot of
23:16
my interests exactly the same way systemizing taking apart
23:19
realizing exactly how it works. And then moving on to the next
23:22
thing. Exactly did a little bit.
23:25
Yeah, I like I studied professional magic for a while.
23:28
I actually got to like do professional magic for a while
23:31
and I said he much it to the better.
23:33
I got at it. The less I wanted to do it
23:35
because then the more bigger crowd and I can't leave you know
23:37
my mother Thanksgiving dinner. I I'd show about a trip.
23:39
I was a can, do you know what's really funny?
23:41
What magic is? Because I was so fascinated by.
23:44
I wonder how these things work again, there's a complex system
23:46
or what I perceive you complex, but in actual fact, it was just
23:49
slightly family which is very uncomplicated.
23:51
And it kind of almost made me sad when I when I was learning
23:54
all these tricks, I was like oh this isn't complex at all and it
23:58
kind of like it was almost a tremendously because I enjoy
24:01
playing meeting the man behind the curtain.
24:03
Yeah yeah and I guess everybody would have that kind of
24:07
experience when they realize our whole magic tricks.
24:09
Okay, comes down. But for autistic individuals, I
24:11
think like you feel like home, watch, you know, it's like a
24:14
blow to the chest like shit because you take it as literate.
24:17
Like, I see it very little and then I see the, the, the real
24:21
version, and that's also the troll.
24:22
And I'm like, oh shit. Like that's it's a bit between
24:24
two parts and I'm like, oh, you know, it's kind of, it's weird,
24:27
my not like rock my whole world so yeah, I I do love magic.
24:32
I love seeing tricks being performed by.
24:33
I'd rather just not know how they were done now because it
24:35
just depresses me. You know, I think that's kind of
24:38
the The way I originally approached human beings with
24:41
relationships. Once I started to figure out
24:44
personality, Dynamics, plant sample points of behavior.
24:48
Dopamine writer programming, and yeah, cognitive systems and all
24:52
of that then, unless someone self-aware, and that's a rare
24:56
trait, you know, they have to, they have to earn that
24:59
authenticity of knowing where their actions their reactions,
25:02
their antecedents, all it, where it all comes from, and being
25:05
able to like, make authentic decisions about Person that they
25:09
want to be. And so many people out there,
25:11
just reacting and for them, when I figure out someone who only
25:15
knows how to react in their life, it's kind of like,
25:18
figuring out the trick to a magic trick.
25:19
It's kind of disappointing because it's like, okay, you're
25:22
controlled by your reactions. You know, your behavior is
25:24
predicted by what goes into that system.
25:26
Not the choices in the changes, in belief is tough that you
25:29
make, because that's not something that's important to
25:30
you and I have to accept that. That's that is one way to live
25:34
life that can make some people happy.
25:36
Yeah, it's crazy. I always, I always call it.
25:39
The Zombie Nation like I, I feel like an idiot.
25:43
Yeah, yeah. But it's true because like you
25:46
feel kind of like it's not saying that like, I'm high than
25:48
everybody but I feel like I float above people.
25:50
I'm like, guys, it's like I'm dealing with toddlers the whole
25:53
time while I'm talking to people and like and then don't mean any
25:56
disrespect for him. Like, dude, how dumb can you be
25:58
like, you know, like simple things?
26:00
I'm like, God, you know, like somebody got like people like
26:03
and this is one thing that really, really fascinates people
26:05
like, oh, I go to work all day and I come home and Really I'm
26:10
still broke, you know working like you know 25 hours a day,
26:14
you know, and I'm like okay dude but there's a very simple
26:16
logical explanation for this right.
26:18
You know, you're working and there's a finite amount of time
26:20
and you're changing time for money.
26:21
So you got find it on my money, you're gonna be able to
26:23
accumulate, but if you can sell something that is, you know, you
26:26
do it once and sell it multiple times, and it's infinite, right?
26:29
But you're trading time, instead of doing earned income, you
26:35
know, you do it. You go to a different School.
26:39
Yeah and that's the thing like I'm like I said some of the
26:41
other day I wasn't it wasn't a chippy in the UK we have rules
26:44
and then somebody was like this girl's all the chip is closing.
26:46
So we're going to do is I got another job was a bottle cap,
26:50
professional kind of bouncer, the column, the UK was like a
26:53
security guard and I said well why don't you teach make a video
26:57
teaching people how to actually cook chips like a chippy and
27:00
then sell that for 40 bucks you know and then just sell it a
27:03
thousand times and you'll be laughing your way to the bank
27:05
you know just put it on Facebook with a couple of dolls on Dad
27:08
and sell it. People want to know how to make
27:09
chips at home rent and she was like, you just didn't get it,
27:12
you know, I'm like dude what the fuck?
27:14
That's the first thing I do and this is just another version
27:17
thing exam. I'm in this really cool group
27:18
called The Octopus movement and his grouping of nonlinear
27:22
thinkers. You know who and it's such a
27:25
cool group because we all relate to the way that other people are
27:30
mystified, by the way, that we solve problems, enjoy
27:35
deconstructing playing with systems and put Back up
27:38
together. So in love we got kind of like a
27:42
project. Right now, it's actually going
27:44
to be going live this next month called picked my my nonlinear
27:48
brain. You can talk about, you know, go
27:51
to the site to find whatever topics that you're interested in
27:55
getting different perspectives on and then the system will hook
27:58
you up with a non linear thinker.
28:01
Who's in that sphere so that you can cry.
28:03
You can find because it's tough, dude, that's fire.
28:05
I want in on this groove, you know?
28:09
Yeah, one of the interesting things you said is well problems
28:13
and people say to me like that. How can you how can you cause I
28:16
don't see problems with problems, right?
28:17
Problems are not something that worries me problems.
28:18
Things excite me. Like, dude, how wide is it?
28:20
Why are you not scared of problems?
28:22
Because I'm like, there's no such thing really as a problem
28:24
because all you have is a potential towards a solution and
28:27
that potential is what excites me because if you already have,
28:29
you know, that something is a problem.
28:31
Then you already know that there is an answer to that problem,
28:33
right? Otherwise wouldn't be a problem,
28:34
you know, their hands. Did about their objection
28:39
because it ejections it's a buying signal.
28:41
And, yeah, there's only a couple of things standing in their way
28:43
to taking action hundred percent and you have to figure out how
28:46
to not be a domino down for them, right?
28:47
That's solve that variable, but also be able to maintain a
28:51
positive experience to relationship.
28:52
Stay in touch with their needs so that you're actually
28:53
servicing them and not taking from the back little bit.
28:55
A future relationship be able to scale the sale, blah, blah blah,
28:59
blah. Can't do any of that until you
29:02
connect to that part of them and that understanding and it just
29:06
there's a disconnect with people but I will Say this from
29:08
studying psychology that when you think of like the standard
29:12
belt adulterer distribution of intellect and have 95 to 105
29:16
range in the middle there. And then you go to the outliers
29:18
in the 15% Lighter Side, you know, that means them little
29:22
under 1 in 7, people has an IQ under 85 and I think that a lot
29:27
of entrepreneurs, forget that sometimes those are the people
29:30
who need their goods or services the most.
29:32
Yeah. Because they're on a
29:33
disadvantage, right? Message to be palpable that.
29:36
Yeah. The other time that we were Her
29:38
sometimes will run the road, but, you know, and I think that
29:43
being able to like, explain and compartmentalize different ideas
29:46
and break them down and different ways to solve problems
29:48
in different ways. Because sometimes solving
29:50
problems in different ways, presents different Roblox and
29:53
challenges than solving the different way.
29:55
And the specific circumstances of a situation can sometimes
29:58
mean that that path is clearly easier.
30:01
Yeah, exactly. And it's kind of like, you know,
30:03
that Facebook has this house am also with the people who work in
30:07
Facebook. They See.
30:08
Fail and fail hard because when you fail and you feel hard, you
30:10
go shit, I didn't work. So going to do something else.
30:12
You need to fail or not. It's know that that's not going
30:14
to fucking work. There's nothing constantly
30:19
because you go. Okay, shit.
30:19
That didn't work. I need to optimize and spin and
30:23
like honestly feel the same way each time.
30:25
That means every time you found a way it didn't work different.
30:27
Yeah. It because this is what annoys
30:29
me we got three minutes left. I'm going to say is really
30:30
quickly and I'm going to ask you a few details.
30:32
How people find you? But there's this there's a show
30:35
on like cake Masters or something right on.
30:37
Netflix and they were like, there's different people for
30:39
different skills and skills, baking, a cake yesterday.
30:41
You want to be be revealing, it's just a cupcake.
30:43
It says baby and said it. She cook five cakes the exact
30:46
same way and each one on failed. So the ones she presented she
30:49
cooked the same fucking way. I was like oh my God you did
30:52
five control test the same thing after two tests I would say okay
30:55
this feels it does not work, you know, once twice.
30:58
Okay, five times it never going to work.
31:00
Make it when people don't people just stick out of because they
31:03
don't realize that, that's a thing.
31:05
That's never going to work. Just move on to something else.
31:08
It's crazy, dude, it's about finding your passion.
31:11
I think, if you find your passion, then you will find
31:14
different ways around it, in order to make it work, but, just
31:17
asking your head against the wall and yeah, that's yeah.
31:19
You just going to ain't gonna get a headache every time.
31:23
Okay. So I'll check please how we, you
31:26
know, on my audience how they can get in touch with you, how I
31:28
can follow you online. If they're interested in
31:30
checking out more about you that I can do is I have an electronic
31:34
business card. I can just give you that link
31:36
and it has all definitely used. Autism are different
31:38
relationships, interpersonal, Dynamics, communication
31:41
cognitive Neuroscience marketing, all that stuff.
31:44
But if you if you're looking for more, instant gratification, you
31:46
can just search by name on YouTube.
31:48
I do have lots of energy content that I've done with other
31:51
entrepreneurs and stuff like that.
31:53
Sometimes you can reach me via email.
31:55
That's just my first name in my last name of the pyramidal at
31:58
gmail.com perfect. Awesome.
32:00
I'll link all this details down below and the links and
32:03
everything and it's been a fascinating conversation.
32:05
I'm sure that people going to lure out of it and try I've got
32:08
a lot of it basically because it's nice to know.
32:10
I never have the ability to talk somebody on the same or similar
32:13
sexual level. As I am, I will tell you, I did
32:16
some really cool interviews with a guy named Jason Croft, and
32:19
they'll be wanting with something comes up on a YouTube,
32:21
search. And I talked about how to put in
32:23
new systems of behavior, how to change the way I understand the
32:27
way that dopamine interacts with, you know, put
32:29
self-programming behavior and change positive systems.
32:33
And that was basically the methodology that I use to be
32:35
able to make these changes where controller My voice and handle
32:39
social situations and all that. So if you're curious about how I
32:42
went from 75% nonverbal to what I do now, that is literally the
32:46
process that I talked about in that, and that's an engine, so
32:49
it's playing with him. So I got a little mention here,
32:51
maybe it'll help someone definitely, I will link that in
32:53
this video on YouTube so people can find out but I don't you.
32:57
Thank you so much for going to guess.
32:57
It's been absolutely fascinating and I'm sure everyone listening
33:00
and watching is going to be like Blown Away with what we've just
33:03
discussed. Thank you so much, dude.
33:05
And their stay in touch and be good to kind of like maybe do
33:07
another one. Nor hang out with something.
33:08
I'll do, I'll send you the the octopus movement.
33:11
Invite. That is a Facebook group is the
33:13
face, it'll send for that. And then if we get me interested
33:16
in the video, if you want to go into some of the topics, I can
33:18
discuss in a little bit more neurophysiology and stuff like
33:21
that. Yeah, dude me to do.
33:23
I love it. Okay.
33:24
Peace out dude, thank you so much for being here and I will
33:27
talk to you soon. Make sure you email me those
33:29
those links and stuff. Well during that, he's that one
33:31
boy. Hey guys, thank you so much for
33:36
listening to this podcast. If you haven't already, please
33:38
share this with anybody and everyone who you think can get
33:40
some benefit from it. And also I know a bunch of you
33:42
guys who haven't already, subscribe to this podcast but
33:44
listen so please go over and subscribe to it now so you don't
33:46
miss an episode. Also from hit me up on Twitter
33:49
it's at the aspie world the th e ask me spie and then World wo
33:55
rld so that is be World. Alright guys thanks