Latest / INSIGHT FOR LIVING: Biblical Wisdom For Everyday Living / Essential Glue for Every Couple to Apply Msg 58 - Pastor Chuck Swindoll Insight for Living

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Essential Glue for Every Couple to Apply Msg 58 - Pastor Chuck Swindoll Insight for Living · INSIGHT FOR LIVING: Biblical Wisdom For Everyday Living

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Speaker 1: Sometime we come across a passage of scripture that is
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Speaker 1: so familiar, we tend to drift a bit when we
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Speaker 1: return to it. Let's not let that happen today as
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Speaker 1: we turn together to the 13th chapter of 1 Corinthians.
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Speaker 1: If you're not familiar with your Bible, it is in
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Speaker 1: the New Testament. It is among the letters that Paul wrote,
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Speaker 1: and this is often considered the greatest treatise in all
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Speaker 1: of literature on the subject of love. I've heard the
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Speaker 1: passage read where the name of Christ is substituted for
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Speaker 1: the word love. I'd like today for you to hear
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Speaker 1: this as if for the first time, and we will
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Speaker 1: focus on it in a few moments together. If I
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Speaker 1: speak with the tongues of men and of angels... but
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Speaker 1: do not have love, I have become a noisy gong
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Speaker 1: or a clanging cymbal. And if I have the gift
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Speaker 1: of prophecy and know all mysteries and all knowledge, and
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Speaker 1: if I have all faith so as to remove mountains,
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Speaker 1: but do not have love, I am nothing. And if
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Speaker 1: I give all my possessions to feed the poor, And
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Speaker 1: if I deliver my body to be burned, but do
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Speaker 1: not have love, it profits me. Nothing. Love is patient.
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Speaker 1: Love is kind. And is not jealous. Love does not
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Speaker 1: brag and is not arrogant. Does not act unbecomingly. It
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Speaker 1: does not seek its own. Is not provoked. Does not
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Speaker 1: take into account a wrong suffering. Does not rejoice in unrighteousness,
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Speaker 1: but rejoices with the truth. Bears all things. Believes all things.
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Speaker 1: Hopes all things. Endures all things. Say these next three
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Speaker 1: words with me. Love never fails. Once again. Love never fails.
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Speaker 1: Our Father, we have trusted in many things that have
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Speaker 1: failed in our lives. We have counted on people who
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Speaker 1: have failed us. We have chased dreams that have failed us.
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Speaker 1: We have followed our hearts only to find that they
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Speaker 1: were moving in the wrong direction and But we have
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Speaker 1: never encountered a day when we have followed you or
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Speaker 1: carried out the promises of your truth where you have failed. Today, Lord,
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Speaker 1: we live in a world that's lost its way. We're
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Speaker 1: solving it by running faster. Slow us down in the
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Speaker 1: midst of a frenzied society. Give us a sense of
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Speaker 1: calm and quiet as we peacefully return to things that matter.
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Speaker 1: And we'd be very careful to hear these things that
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Speaker 1: will be taught us today as if we were the
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Speaker 1: only person in the room. Please speak directly to each
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Speaker 1: one of us. Deliver us from the age-old habit of
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Speaker 1: being grateful someone else is here to hear this. or
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Speaker 1: even rushing to the excuse, if I'd heard this earlier,
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Speaker 1: I could do more of my life. May we hear
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Speaker 1: this as if for the first time today. And as
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Speaker 1: a result of hearing, may it make a difference in living. Lord,
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Speaker 1: there are many who would love to be a part
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Speaker 1: of this room and the praises and the songs of
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Speaker 1: these times together, but illness, a hospital experience, a disability,
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Speaker 1: whatever may have caused them to stay away. Our hearts
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Speaker 1: go out to them and we pray for them today.
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Speaker 1: Not only them, but those who serve alongside them. Hardworking
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Speaker 1: and careful physicians, diligent nurses, those who care for individuals
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Speaker 1: in hospices and homes. Loved ones and friends. Open our
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Speaker 1: hearts of love. These days in this season of the year.
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Speaker 1: To include those who are different than we are. Those
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Speaker 1: who have lost their way. Those who have turned against you.
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Speaker 1: And selected a life of bitterness. Those who are confused. Confused.
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Speaker 1: Some may be in the very circle of our family. Somehow, Lord,
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Speaker 1: speak through this lesson on love so that we are
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Speaker 1: able to be different people with them and toward them.
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Speaker 1: Our hearts also go to families that are lonely today
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Speaker 1: whose mom or dad is in prison or serving in
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Speaker 1: a uniform out of love and patriotism for their country.
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Speaker 1: We pray for those families that are left without their
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Speaker 1: loved ones, and we pray for those who are in
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Speaker 1: lonely and dangerous places. This season of the year makes
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Speaker 1: us especially tender. Let our hearts be broken. Our Father,
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Speaker 1: rather than go about our work in a perfunctory business-like manner.
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Speaker 1: May we approach this as if it were our first
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Speaker 1: and maybe our last Christmas. May it be a time
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Speaker 1: when we wonder as we wander out under the sky
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Speaker 1: how Jesus, our Savior, could come to die. We worship
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Speaker 1: you today, our Father, as a result of our work
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Speaker 1: and our wages. We're able to give to you our gifts.
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Speaker 1: Just as those of old have always done and as
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Speaker 1: you have done since your existence. Lord, we have never
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Speaker 1: known you to keep. You give and give and give
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Speaker 1: and give again. And so we learn from you how
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Speaker 1: to do that. Be pleased in the reasons behind our
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Speaker 1: gifts and the gifts themselves. They come as an overflow
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Speaker 1: from hearts full of gratitude. Now, our Father, may our
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Speaker 1: worship be enhanced today as we give to you and
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Speaker 1: as we ask this in Jesus' name. Everybody sit. Love
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Speaker 1: has a language all its own. Isn't it interesting that
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Speaker 1: when it is on display, no words can adequately define
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Speaker 1: or describe it? And when it is absent, no words
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Speaker 1: can take its place. That's why I refer to love
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Speaker 1: as one of those few essentials for life. I don't
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Speaker 1: use that word often. Webster tells us that essential means
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Speaker 1: Has to do with that which is absolutely basic. Indispensable. Vital.
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Speaker 1: Love is what air, food and water are to physical life.
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Speaker 1: Love is what the three R's are to a good education.
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Speaker 1: Love is what nine people. And. pitching and hitting and
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Speaker 1: fielding are to the game of baseball. Love is what
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Speaker 1: 11 people and offense and defense and special teams are
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Speaker 1: to the game of football. Love is the glue, the
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Speaker 1: glue that when applied will bond a family regardless of
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Speaker 1: what the family is going through. Step back with me
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Speaker 1: and imagine several scenes that sort of say it all
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Speaker 1: when it comes to love. You and I are in
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Speaker 1: an airport, and we look over our shoulder and we
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Speaker 1: hear the sounds of a family as the dad gets
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Speaker 1: up to get on the plane. He's surrounded by those
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Speaker 1: who are getting up in years. Obviously, his parents are hers,
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Speaker 1: his wife. and three or four children whose arms are
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Speaker 1: around his legs. He's in a uniform, being deployed to
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Speaker 1: defend the country or town. liberate another. They're saying their goodbyes.
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Speaker 1: The tears, the hugs, the kisses have a language all
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Speaker 1: their own. No words are needed. Walk with me onto
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Speaker 1: the maternity floor of any of the local hospitals and
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Speaker 1: stand in the shadows and watch as the nurse with
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Speaker 1: a smile on her face brings a newborn into the
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Speaker 1: room for a first-time mother and her husband, the dad,
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Speaker 1: standing there and arms are reaching out for that first
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Speaker 1: time for her to nurse. That look. The baby almost
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Speaker 1: gets sore from all the handling of mom and dad
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Speaker 1: that first visit. It's their love, which really needs no words,
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Speaker 1: surround and envelop the child. Look into the face of
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Speaker 1: any proud father of the bride coming down the aisle
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Speaker 1: at a wedding, which is my joy as a pastor
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Speaker 1: to do from time to time. I have the best view.
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Speaker 1: I get to see this man who is getting ready
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Speaker 1: to hand over a Stradivarius to the gorilla who was
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Speaker 1: waiting down front. And he is so enraptured in his
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Speaker 1: love for her, he can hardly remember the one line
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Speaker 1: that is his to say. I'll never forget the wedding
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Speaker 1: when I ask, and who gives this bride to be
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Speaker 1: married to this groom? The dad, bewildered, said, my mother
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Speaker 1: and I. He had to sort of negotiate sitting down
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Speaker 1: by his wife after that. And sometimes words fail us
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Speaker 1: when we come to a treacherous place where love is
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Speaker 1: on display and life and death hang in the balance.
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Speaker 1: Patrick Morley, in his outstanding book, Every Man Should Read,
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Speaker 1: The Man in the Mirror, tells the unforgettable true story.
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Speaker 1: The salmon nearly leaped onto their hooks. That was a
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Speaker 1: far cry from the day before when the four anglers
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Speaker 1: couldn't even seem to catch an old boot. Disappointed and
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Speaker 1: yet not discouraged, they had climbed aboard their small seaplane
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Speaker 1: and skimmed over the Alaskan mountains to a pristine, secluded
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Speaker 1: bay where the fish were sure to bite. They parked
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Speaker 1: their aircraft and waited upstream where the water teemed with
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Speaker 1: ready-to-catch salmon. Later that afternoon, when they returned to their camp,
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Speaker 1: they were surprised to find the seaplane high and dry.
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Speaker 1: The tides fluctuated 23 feet in that particular bay, and
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Speaker 1: the pontoons rested on a bed of gravel. Since they
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Speaker 1: couldn't fly out till morning, they settled in for the
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Speaker 1: night and enjoyed some of their catch for dinner and
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Speaker 1: then slept in the plane. In the morning, the seaplane
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Speaker 1: was adrift, so they promptly cranked the engine and started
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Speaker 1: to take off. Too late, they discovered one of the
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Speaker 1: pontoons had been punctured and was filled with water. The
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Speaker 1: extra weight threw the plane into a circular pattern. Within
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Speaker 1: moments from liftoff, the seaplane careened into the sea and capsized. Dr.
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Speaker 1: Phil Littleford determined that everyone was alive, including his 12-year-old son, Mark.
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Speaker 1: He suggested that they pray, which the other two men
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Speaker 1: quickly endorsed. No safety equipment could be found on board,
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Speaker 1: no life vests, no floats, no flares, nothing. The plane
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Speaker 1: gurgled and submerged into the blackness of the icy morning sea.
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Speaker 1: The frigid Alaskan waters chilled their breath. They all began
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Speaker 1: to swim for sure, but the riptide countered every stroke.
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Speaker 1: The two men alongside Phil and Mark were strong swimmers,
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Speaker 1: and they both made shore, one just catching the tip
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Speaker 1: of land as the tides pulled him out toward the sea.
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Speaker 1: Their two companions last saw Phil and Mark as a
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Speaker 1: disappearing dot on the horizon, swept arm in arm out
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Speaker 1: to sea. The Coast Guard reported they probably lasted no
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Speaker 1: more than an hour In the freezing waters, hypothermia would
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Speaker 1: chill the body functions and they would go to sleep. Mark,
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Speaker 1: with a smaller body mass, would fall asleep first in
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Speaker 1: his father's arms. Phil could have made the shoreline on
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Speaker 1: his own, but that would have meant abandoning his son.
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Speaker 1: Their bodies were never found. If I could pause before
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Speaker 1: I read Morley's two very penetrating questions. Can you imagine
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Speaker 1: what that dad said to his son as he embraced
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Speaker 1: him before they sank? Can you imagine how tightly he
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Speaker 1: hugged him? Morley asks, what father wouldn't be willing to
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Speaker 1: die for his son? And then, if we are willing
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Speaker 1: to go so far as to die for our children,
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Speaker 1: why is it that we often don't seem willing to
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Speaker 1: live for them? I haven't read you the story to
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Speaker 1: play on your emotions. I respect you too much for that.
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Speaker 1: I've read you the story to make you think. To
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Speaker 1: urge you not to wait until there is a disastrous
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Speaker 1: last moment. where death hangs close and its hot breath
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Speaker 1: is on your neck. Don't hold back your hugs. Don't
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Speaker 1: restrain your kisses. If it helps, practice the words, I
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Speaker 1: love you. Say them. Use the first person singular pronoun.
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Speaker 1: Don't settle for love ya. We say that to our dogs.
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Speaker 1: Love you. Love you. We say, I love you to people.
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Speaker 1: And when was the last time you did that with
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Speaker 1: an adult son or daughter? Cynthia and I have made
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Speaker 1: it a practice throughout our marriage and certainly in the
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Speaker 1: rearing of our children that we would never stop saying that.
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Speaker 1: Every chance we got. Interestingly, we now hear in return
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Speaker 1: the first person singular and the two that follow, I
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Speaker 1: love you. This message today is all about that. All
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Speaker 1: I have to say is contained in the first half
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Speaker 1: of this grand treatise on love that you're so familiar
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Speaker 1: with when it's read to you, your lips move. I
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Speaker 1: hope today that familiarity will not breed indifference. I hope
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Speaker 1: you will hear these things as if for the first time,
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Speaker 1: though our time is limited, I plead with you, take
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Speaker 1: them personally. I don't care how you were reared. I
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Speaker 1: don't care what's been done to you or against you.
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Speaker 1: I ask you to take this personally. This is for you.
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Speaker 1: This will impact you. My comment to Cynthia after I
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Speaker 1: read it last night, just before we went to bed,
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Speaker 1: was that if we read this every day, our lives
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Speaker 1: would change in a month. They would be transformed in two.
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Speaker 1: Just reading them. The apostle begins with three statements regarding priority.
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Speaker 1: The first priority in verse one has to do with words.
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Speaker 1: And love is so much better than that. The second
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Speaker 1: has to do with, oh my, knowledge, prophetic gifts. The
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Speaker 1: whole ability to act on faith and love is better
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Speaker 1: than that. And the third verse has to do with
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Speaker 1: sacrificial living right to the point of martyrdom. And love
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Speaker 1: is better than that. Revisit them with me quickly. A
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Speaker 1: higher priority than words is love. Verse 1. If I
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Speaker 1: spoke or were able to speak with the tongues of
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Speaker 1: men and of angels, if I had the language of
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Speaker 1: the angelic creatures, if I knew how to communicate with
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Speaker 1: those who are six-winged, who fill the throne room of God,
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Speaker 1: if I had the giftedness to hold vast audiences in
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Speaker 1: my grip with my words, if I had the eloquence
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Speaker 1: to say things as had never been said before and
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Speaker 1: I lacked love in the saying of them, I would
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Speaker 1: come across as a noisy gong or an empty brass cymbal.
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Speaker 1: If I could speak with any language in heaven on earth,
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Speaker 1: I might as well save my breath. No amount of
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Speaker 1: linguistic skill, no amount of eloquence can replace the presence
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Speaker 1: of love. Without love, I have nothing of value to say.
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Speaker 1: Stop and think. If I confront someone with words that
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Speaker 1: lack love, I offend them. I don't help them. I
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Speaker 1: hurt them. If I attempt to comfort someone who is
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Speaker 1: hurting and I express my compassion in words without love,
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Speaker 1: they would rather I were not even there. It comes
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Speaker 1: across as insecure and flat. If I instruct other people
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Speaker 1: with words that lack love, they may hear words, but
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Speaker 1: they will resist the application of them for fear that
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Speaker 1: they might turn out as I am. Heady, high-minded, gifted
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Speaker 1: with words, but lacking the touch of love. The point,
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Speaker 1: without love, we have nothing of value to say. The
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Speaker 1: second verse. If I am gifted in the realm of prophecy,
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Speaker 1: I know all the mysteries and I have all knowledge.
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Speaker 1: Just think about that for a moment. Highest priority here
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Speaker 1: is spiritual giftedness and spiritual depth. If I had the
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Speaker 1: kind of faith that can move a range of mountains
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Speaker 1: from one part of the continent to another just by
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Speaker 1: claiming the moving of the mountains and yet Lack love?
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Speaker 1: I am nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Love is more valuable than
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Speaker 1: prophetic knowledge and utterance. Love is more valuable than biblical awareness.
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Speaker 1: Love is more valuable than personal faith. Believe it. It
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Speaker 1: says it. And yet we find ourselves pursuing an answer
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Speaker 1: to the mysteries and an understanding of knowledge and unraveling
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Speaker 1: all of these incredible statements in the Bible about faith.
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Speaker 1: But Paul says, love, that's the ticket. That's the one essential.
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Speaker 1: And touching as close to home, if I give everything
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Speaker 1: that I possess, everything but the clothing on my back
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Speaker 1: Everything I purchased, everything I own, everything that has my name,
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Speaker 1: everything that fills my home, including my home, my vehicles,
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Speaker 1: everything that I own, everything I possess. And on top
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Speaker 1: of that, I give my body to be martyred for
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Speaker 1: a great cause. And the giving of my things or
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Speaker 1: the giving of my body to death is done without love.
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Speaker 1: According to this, it profits me nothing. One man put
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Speaker 1: it in these words, love is all important. Not verbal eloquence,
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Speaker 1: prophetic utterance, incredible faith, compassionate benevolence, sacrificial martyrdom. So no
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Speaker 1: matter what I say, what I believe, Or what I do,
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Speaker 1: I am bankrupt without love. This is a very good
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Speaker 1: time for all of us to pause and do a
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Speaker 1: quick analysis of our love life. If it gets too
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Speaker 1: complicated to get outside the circle, just stay within the
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Speaker 1: circle of your family. If your parents are living, embrace
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Speaker 1: them in your mind if your children are at home
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Speaker 1: or have left, if you have no children, if it's
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Speaker 1: just you, you're still part of a family, stay in
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Speaker 1: that circle. Go there. Now, if you're like me, it's
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Speaker 1: helpful to know exactly what this has reference to. I mean,
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Speaker 1: is this a gushy, mushy kind of puppy love that
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Speaker 1: kind of warms me up and makes me feel good
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Speaker 1: and That kind of thing, it is not. A few
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Speaker 1: people have put it better than Dr. Ron Allen in
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Speaker 1: his footnote on the Nelson Study Bible. Listen to what
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Speaker 1: he says at the base of 1 Corinthians 13. The
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Speaker 1: word agape, translated love, describes a love that is based
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Speaker 1: on the deliberate choice of the one who loves rather
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Speaker 1: than the worthiness of the one who is loved. It
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Speaker 1: is a giving, selfless, expect nothing in return kind of love.
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Speaker 1: Our modern throwaway society encourages us to get rid of
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Speaker 1: people in our lives who are difficult to get along with,
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Speaker 1: whether they are friends, family, or acquaintances. Yet this attitude
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Speaker 1: runs in complete contrast to the love described by Paul.
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Speaker 1: True love, he concludes, puts up with the people who
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Speaker 1: would be easier to give up on. Convicting, isn't it? Well,
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Speaker 1: when it works its way out, now that we know
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Speaker 1: the priority of it, what are the characteristics? Give me
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Speaker 1: some for instances, I'm hearing some of you say. Well,
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Speaker 1: if you look at the list in verses 4 through
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Speaker 1: first part of 8, you'll come across over a dozen characteristics.
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Speaker 1: Each one of them is unique. Each one of them
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Speaker 1: worth your time. Think about, apprise your life on the
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Speaker 1: basis of what is said. And interesting, you'll find that
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Speaker 1: there are more negatives than positives. More love is nots
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Speaker 1: than there are love is. Love doesn't is more often
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Speaker 1: than love does. Let's sort of bunch up the group
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Speaker 1: into chunks we can bite off and digest, okay? Let's
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Speaker 1: take patience and kindness together. Let's kick it off right there.
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Speaker 1: Love is patient. Love is kind. We have a term, short-tempered. Interesting,
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Speaker 1: that would be in Greek, mikrothumia. Thumia is a word
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Speaker 1: from which we get our word thermometer. The idea of
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Speaker 1: heat or passion, or in this case, temper. But this
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Speaker 1: is makrothumia. Long temper. Isn't that interesting? Love is long temper.
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Speaker 1: Love doesn't have a short fuse. John Chrysostom used these
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Speaker 1: words to describe the term. It's used of one who
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Speaker 1: is wronged and has it in his power to avenge himself,
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Speaker 1: but restrains from doing so. All of us are stronger
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Speaker 1: than at least one other person. Or we maybe are
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Speaker 1: able to pull rank on at least one other, maybe several.
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Speaker 1: And even though that's true of us, when we have
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Speaker 1: that opportunity and they've done us wrong, we restrain from
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Speaker 1: getting back or getting even. Love does neither. Love is
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Speaker 1: also kind. What a great word. We've lost it in
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Speaker 1: our evangelical churches, I'm afraid. We sort of left it
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Speaker 1: when we left the Methodist church. Heard a lot about
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Speaker 1: it when you were a Methodist. Here we are. an
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Speaker 1: independent kind of gathering, and Paul revives it. It's not
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Speaker 1: a Methodist term. It's not a Presbyterian term. It's not
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Speaker 1: a religious term. It's kind. Kind. It means friendly, helpful,
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Speaker 1: free of pettiness and criticism. As a matter of fact,
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Speaker 1: this word kind is used of aged wine that has mellowed.
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Speaker 1: I like the word mellow. Love is mellow. It doesn't
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Speaker 1: mean weak. It means, well, as A.T. Robertson called it,
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Speaker 1: gentle in behavior. Remember the words of Jesus, Come to me,
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Speaker 1: all you who are weary and heavy laden, and I
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Speaker 1: will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and
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Speaker 1: learn from me, for I am meek and lowly in heart,
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Speaker 1: and you will find rest for your souls. For my
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Speaker 1: yoke is what? There you have it. Same root word
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Speaker 1: as kind. My yoke is kind. My burden is light.
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Speaker 1: I would love to meet up with more kind Christians.
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Speaker 1: Wouldn't you? Just kind. Mellow. Gentle. They sort of disarm us,
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Speaker 1: don't they? Love is not jealous. Love does not brag.
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Speaker 1: And love is not arrogant. Let's group those together. The
30:01
Speaker 1: first term has in mind the idea of holding people
30:03
Speaker 1: loosely without suspicion. When you hear their name, you don't
30:07
Speaker 1: get suspicious if you love them. Furthermore, love does not
30:15
Speaker 1: call attention to itself. This term brag, see it here
30:18
Speaker 1: in the verse, love does not brag. This is called
30:22
Speaker 1: in Greek language or in Greek classes, hapax legomena. It
30:26
Speaker 1: means once spoken. Only once spoke. It's the only time
30:30
Speaker 1: in all the Bible, all the New Testament, where the
30:33
Speaker 1: original term translated brag appears. So Paul picks out a term,
30:38
Speaker 1: extant in his day, and he puts it in here
30:41
Speaker 1: under the Spirit's inspiration. Bragging is what we do. Arrogant
30:45
Speaker 1: is what we are. It's why we do it. Love
30:49
Speaker 1: doesn't do either. Love isn't either. Love doesn't call attention
30:54
Speaker 1: to itself, doesn't seek to be noticed. I like the
30:57
Speaker 1: original meaning of the word arrogant. It's the word for bellows, bellows.
31:03
Speaker 1: Years ago, when your fireplace wouldn't get the message, it
31:06
Speaker 1: kind of smoldered and started filling the room with smoke,
31:09
Speaker 1: you get these old bellows. It's that part that's translated here, arrogant.
31:17
Speaker 1: It means to blow. We get our word blowhard from that.
31:22
Speaker 1: Like I read of the mother whale who said to her,
31:27
Speaker 1: young don't go up and blow with such noise that's
31:32
Speaker 1: when you get harpooned and the same happens to us
31:37
Speaker 1: there's a genuine humility when love has its way you
31:41
Speaker 1: don't call attention to yourself and you don't brag love
31:49
Speaker 1: also refuses to act unbecomingly verse 5 it doesn't seek
31:55
Speaker 1: its own will or way or rights. Talk about convicting.
32:02
Speaker 1: The word unbecoming is the idea of being rude or crude.
32:08
Speaker 1: It's the thought positively of being tactful, being courteous, saying
32:13
Speaker 1: thank you, answering you're welcome. Nowadays, it's no problem. Wouldn't
32:20
Speaker 1: it be nice to hear once in a while, you're welcome.
32:23
Speaker 1: You're no problem, no problem, no problem. Hidden within not
32:31
Speaker 1: acting unbecomingly is the old age-worn word charm, the word
32:38
Speaker 1: we need to revive. Howie Stevenson taught me people are
32:43
Speaker 1: charmed into righteousness. We are, aren't we? I've never heard
32:50
Speaker 1: anyone say, you know what, he hit me in the kisser,
32:53
Speaker 1: and I realized I don't have Christ in my life,
32:56
Speaker 1: and the man just won my heart by punching me
32:58
Speaker 1: in the mouth. Or I lost that wrestling match, or
33:03
Speaker 1: the guy treated me like dirt, and man, I wanted
33:05
Speaker 1: to be like him. I wanted to be a Christian
33:07
Speaker 1: as a result of that kind of, no, it's silly,
33:10
Speaker 1: it's stupid. You know what wins them? Charm. Charm. Folks
33:17
Speaker 1: want that. Because they don't have that. That's what Christ gives.
33:23
Speaker 1: Love is charming. It doesn't act unbecomingly. And I love this.
33:32
Speaker 1: It doesn't seek its own. Being right in our theology
33:40
Speaker 1: doesn't give us the okay to be demanding in our relationships.
33:45
Speaker 1: Remember that. It doesn't give you the freedom to pull
33:49
Speaker 1: rank on those that are biblically ignorant. How pleasant and
33:57
Speaker 1: surprising to be around individuals who are well-known and gifted
34:01
Speaker 1: and in demand who never make demands or expect special treatment.
34:08
Speaker 1: Cynthia and I have a longtime friend who left his
34:10
Speaker 1: former career to work as a business manager for a
34:14
Speaker 1: small Bible college. As Joe got underway in that job,
34:19
Speaker 1: he and the brain trust of the school decided that
34:23
Speaker 1: we need to get the school on the map because
34:26
Speaker 1: the attendance was waning, and they thought, well, maybe a
34:28
Speaker 1: good athletic program would work, and they didn't have the
34:31
Speaker 1: money to field a football team and all that goes
34:33
Speaker 1: with that, so they chose basketball. They thought that would
34:37
Speaker 1: be probably the least expensive way to do it, and
34:39
Speaker 1: we could attract students, especially with a winning squad. And
34:43
Speaker 1: the Lord gave them virtually out of the blue, gave
34:46
Speaker 1: them a marvelous coach who was not only Christian, but
34:50
Speaker 1: it was an excellent coach and, and just threw himself
34:53
Speaker 1: into the program. But what they needed was good players.
34:55
Speaker 1: I mean, you can't have good basketball team without great players.
34:59
Speaker 1: And how do you win them when you don't have
35:00
Speaker 1: any money for scholarship and you're competing with all the
35:03
Speaker 1: big schools out of the blue. One day the phone
35:06
Speaker 1: rings and the man on the other end of the
35:08
Speaker 1: line says, uh, I understand you're the business manager. We've
35:12
Speaker 1: never met. He says, my name is John. He said,
35:15
Speaker 1: I followed basketball for a long time. I hear that
35:19
Speaker 1: you'd like to get a team going. He says, I
35:23
Speaker 1: applaud that. I think that's wonderful. I love your school.
35:27
Speaker 1: I've watched it grow from almost nothing to where it is.
35:29
Speaker 1: And I know your coach. And he said, it'd be great.
35:32
Speaker 1: He said, I happen to know one kid who could
35:36
Speaker 1: easily be an All-American for some reason. He kind of
35:38
Speaker 1: got overlooked in the draft or the college people that
35:41
Speaker 1: were trying to reach out to the hot shots. And
35:43
Speaker 1: he said, I think I could connect you two guys.
35:47
Speaker 1: Would you like that? And, of course, Joe said, yeah.
35:51
Speaker 1: He says, matter of fact, he's got a couple of
35:53
Speaker 1: friends that might want to go to school with him. Well,
35:57
Speaker 1: John was John Wooden. And Joe finds that out weeks later.
36:04
Speaker 1: The kid's on board. His two friends have come with him.
36:07
Speaker 1: They are knocking him dead on the basketball court. And
36:10
Speaker 1: Joe realizes one day, I wonder who John was. And
36:12
Speaker 1: he checks it out. And Wooden never once threw his
36:15
Speaker 1: name out. You know, didn't say, I have 10 NCAA
36:20
Speaker 1: championships out of 12 years with UCLA Bruins. You are
36:26
Speaker 1: so grateful to be talking to me. I will put
36:31
Speaker 1: your school on the map if you name the gym
36:33
Speaker 1: after me, the John Wooden Gym. None of that. Hi,
36:37
Speaker 1: I'm John. I've followed basketball for a few years. I bet. Hey,
36:49
Speaker 1: when you get big and sassy and you're really top
36:52
Speaker 1: of your game, don't seek your own. There's a great
36:58
Speaker 1: proverb that says, Let another man praise you and not
37:02
Speaker 1: your own mouth, a stranger, not your own lips. You
37:06
Speaker 1: do good work, they'll find you. They'll sing your praises.
37:13
Speaker 1: Just be sure you don't believe it. Don't read your
37:16
Speaker 1: own clippings. And for sure, don't write them. Love doesn't
37:25
Speaker 1: seek its own way. And don't your love is not provoked?
37:30
Speaker 1: and doesn't remember wrongs done to it. It's an accounting term.
37:34
Speaker 1: It's the idea of taking into account or keeping on
37:37
Speaker 1: a ledger. But first off, this provoke. Love is not provoked.
37:46
Speaker 1: It means to have an outburst of irritability. It doesn't
37:50
Speaker 1: fly off the handle. Speaking of basketball, the other evening
37:57
Speaker 1: I'd finished my study And the evening was fairly young,
38:01
Speaker 1: and I thought, I'll see who's on the tube tonight.
38:03
Speaker 1: And I checked with ESPN, and boom, I get into
38:07
Speaker 1: the pacer game right at the time when the beer
38:11
Speaker 1: starts to fly. And I'm like, well, I didn't know
38:14
Speaker 1: we were having hockey here. I thought I was going
38:15
Speaker 1: to watch a little basketball. And all of a sudden, boom, boom, boom.
38:19
Speaker 1: These guys are climbing over tables. They're going out. They're
38:21
Speaker 1: punching fans. Boom, he gets knocked down. And I'm thinking,
38:25
Speaker 1: this is unbelievable. Good night. What prompted this? And in
38:30
Speaker 1: the middle of all of it, Bill Walton, who is
38:33
Speaker 1: one of the sports announcers, big, tall Walton who played
38:37
Speaker 1: for Wooden, by the way, watches this and almost under
38:41
Speaker 1: his breath in an unguarded moment I don't know if
38:43
Speaker 1: you remember seeing it. He said, this is a disgrace
38:49
Speaker 1: to our game. That is a great line. Irritability is
38:56
Speaker 1: a disgrace to the Christian family. I mean, I have
39:09
Speaker 1: to tell you, I was another church, another Another place,
39:14
Speaker 1: I was going to do a funeral for a man
39:15
Speaker 1: who had died in his late 40s and left a
39:19
Speaker 1: wife and three daughters. Teenager, one was in their 20s.
39:22
Speaker 1: And man, it was a hostile environment. So I show
39:25
Speaker 1: up and I come with my little Bible and and
39:28
Speaker 1: a pen and pad to take some notes. And before long,
39:31
Speaker 1: one of them throws something at another, you know, and
39:37
Speaker 1: the other one gets up and Boom, punches out her sister.
39:40
Speaker 1: I'm like, great. All of a sudden, the mother climbs
39:43
Speaker 1: over the table, and she's over here. She's got the teeth, hair,
39:46
Speaker 1: and eye coming out all over the place, and they're
39:48
Speaker 1: falling down. I get in the middle of them. No, no. Boom,
39:51
Speaker 1: I get it in the jaw, and I'm thinking, look,
39:54
Speaker 1: I'm just a little minister trying to do this funeral.
39:58
Speaker 1: If I can get out of this with my life,
39:59
Speaker 1: I'd appreciate it. Here's this Christian home. Correction. Here's this
40:06
Speaker 1: home where alleged Christians live. It's not the first time
40:10
Speaker 1: they've had that kind of fight. I mean, they were
40:13
Speaker 1: too good of shots to be at this for the
40:15
Speaker 1: first time. You know what? First place and often the
40:20
Speaker 1: most often where this kind of thing breaks out is
40:26
Speaker 1: under a roof with the doors closed. Love doesn't go there.
40:34
Speaker 1: It doesn't make a disgrace of life. Get control of
40:41
Speaker 1: your temper. It's very unbecoming. If you're not careful, your
40:52
Speaker 1: fists will solve it for you. You got two of
40:55
Speaker 1: those and only one mouth and they'll gang up on you.
41:00
Speaker 1: Especially when they swing at you first. And tying in
41:06
Speaker 1: with that, it does not take into account a wrong
41:09
Speaker 1: suffered Warren Wiersbe writes, one of the most miserable men
41:16
Speaker 1: I ever met was a professed Christian who actually kept
41:19
Speaker 1: in a notebook a list of the wrongs he felt
41:22
Speaker 1: others had committed against him. Forgiveness means that we wipe
41:28
Speaker 1: the record clean and never hold things against people. You
41:32
Speaker 1: keep a list, dump it. Burn it. You know why?
41:38
Speaker 1: Because your list is poisoning others because you don't keep
41:41
Speaker 1: it to yourself. Dump your list. If you're going to
41:46
Speaker 1: apply 1 Corinthians 13, you've got to live without a list.
41:50
Speaker 1: It's okay. We've all been hurt. Everybody in this room
41:54
Speaker 1: has that in common. Like Peggy Noonan said when she
41:58
Speaker 1: covered a story, we've all been shot. Get in and drive.
42:05
Speaker 1: Just reduce them to putty with your love. It works
42:13
Speaker 1: like a charm. It doesn't rejoice in unrighteousness, but it
42:18
Speaker 1: rejoices with the truth. Finds no pleasure, never sympathizes with
42:27
Speaker 1: wrongdoing or wrongdoers. Then what does it rejoice in? Truth, truth.
42:33
Speaker 1: Truth and love have been lifelong friends. They always go together.
42:38
Speaker 1: Where you find love, you find truth, which means sometimes
42:41
Speaker 1: as a lover of another, you have to tell them
42:44
Speaker 1: the truth. But remember the other guideline. You do it
42:47
Speaker 1: with courtesy. You do it with kindness. Love thrives on truth.
42:52
Speaker 1: Love always speaks truth. When you seek the highest good
42:57
Speaker 1: of the other person, it requires truth. Where there is love,
43:02
Speaker 1: you will find transparent and unguarded honesty. Even if the
43:08
Speaker 1: honesty is not easy to express. And now the final four.
43:13
Speaker 1: The all things, it bears up under the load of
43:16
Speaker 1: all things. It believes the best in the midst of
43:19
Speaker 1: all things. It hopes through the struggles of all things.
43:23
Speaker 1: Don't let all of that get by you. It endures
43:26
Speaker 1: with great courage the all things life has. I love
43:29
Speaker 1: Alfred Plummer's line. When love has no evidence, it believes
43:33
Speaker 1: the best. When the evidence is adverse, it hopes for
43:37
Speaker 1: the best. And when hopes are repeatedly disappointed, it still
43:42
Speaker 1: courageously I can tell by the look on some of
43:47
Speaker 1: your faces that you're waiting and I commend you. Keep waiting.
43:53
Speaker 1: Love waits. Verse eight, we read it together. Love never fails.
44:01
Speaker 1: It never lets you down. It never causes you regret.
44:05
Speaker 1: It never promises more than it can deliver. Well, we've
44:11
Speaker 1: heard of the priorities. We've seen the characteristics. We need
44:13
Speaker 1: a plan to implement this. How can we put it
44:17
Speaker 1: into our lives? What is necessary? How can we get
44:20
Speaker 1: it going? Let me give you three simple little three-word
44:26
Speaker 1: statements that will help make it stick when it comes
44:29
Speaker 1: to love. First, write it down. This is a good
44:33
Speaker 1: place to start. Express your love in your own handwriting.
44:37
Speaker 1: Not a computerized note. Not an embossed deal. Not a typewriter.
44:47
Speaker 1: Write it. Your own handwriting. A note. A brief letter.
44:52
Speaker 1: Don't simply think it. Express it from your heart. Most
44:56
Speaker 1: of us have no idea we feel as we do
44:59
Speaker 1: about someone else until we write and tell them. And
45:03
Speaker 1: you know what? Sometimes people frame those notes. It's incredible.
45:07
Speaker 1: I was in a home several months ago, walked up
45:09
Speaker 1: the stairs to see the upstairs area and I happened
45:12
Speaker 1: to notice something that looked familiar, my handwriting, framed. In
45:15
Speaker 1: the hallway I go, oh man, did I spell everything right?
45:21
Speaker 1: You know, they framed that. They framed the letter. They
45:23
Speaker 1: framed it. It was just a note to thank them
45:26
Speaker 1: and tell them how much I appreciated them. They framed
45:28
Speaker 1: it and put it in their home. They'll do that
45:31
Speaker 1: with your note. I've got them in my possession. Someone
45:35
Speaker 1: else took the time to write a note and It
45:38
Speaker 1: said to me something I didn't know they felt that way.
45:41
Speaker 1: What a great gift to give at Christmastime. Notes of
45:45
Speaker 1: love that you sign, and you lick, and you stamp,
45:54
Speaker 1: and you wait. Days later, on the other end, you're
45:58
Speaker 1: not even there. Somebody's reading something that'll give them the
46:02
Speaker 1: courage to step into January. Some of you were such
46:07
Speaker 1: great models of that. I learned from you. I thank
46:11
Speaker 1: you for doing that. Second, risk it often. Don't miss
46:17
Speaker 1: this little part of it. Risk it often. See, I
46:21
Speaker 1: can hear some of you saying, well, Chuck, man, I
46:24
Speaker 1: did this one time. A guy walked all over me. Well,
46:26
Speaker 1: do it again. Bless your heart. It's okay. You can
46:30
Speaker 1: love people like that. Well, hang it. Just go ahead
46:32
Speaker 1: and You know what? It's good for you. It's really
46:39
Speaker 1: good for you. Let that love out. Let it go. C.S.
46:44
Speaker 1: Lewis wrote some of his best words in his work,
46:47
Speaker 1: The Four Loves. To love it all is to be vulnerable,
46:50
Speaker 1: love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrong and
46:53
Speaker 1: possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping
46:57
Speaker 1: it intact, you must give your heart to no one,
46:59
Speaker 1: not even an animal. Wrap it carefully around with hobbies
47:04
Speaker 1: and little luxuries. Avoid all entanglements. Lock it safe in
47:08
Speaker 1: the casket or the coffin of your selfishness. But in
47:11
Speaker 1: that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It
47:19
Speaker 1: will not be broken. It will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.
47:26
Speaker 1: The only place outside heaven where you can be perfectly
47:30
Speaker 1: safe from all the dangers of love is hell. Risk it.
47:42
Speaker 1: Risk it. You can anticipate my third simple little statement.
47:51
Speaker 1: Do it now. Don't wait till tomorrow. Be a bad
47:56
Speaker 1: hair day or you'll have indigestion or, you know, you'll
48:01
Speaker 1: change your mind. The enemy will convince you that it's
48:04
Speaker 1: not worth it. Don't wait. Dad's mom's. Don't wait until
48:10
Speaker 1: it's a critical life or death hour. Don't wait until
48:15
Speaker 1: it's your mom's deathbed or your dad's last few days
48:20
Speaker 1: on his feet or your kid's. Ann Lander's column received this.
48:30
Speaker 1: Where did the years go? Man writes, I remember talking
48:36
Speaker 1: to my friend a number of years ago about our children.
48:39
Speaker 1: Mine were five and seven then, just the ages when
48:42
Speaker 1: their daddy means everything to them. I wished that I
48:46
Speaker 1: could have spent more time with my kids, but I
48:48
Speaker 1: was too busy working. After all, I wanted to give
48:51
Speaker 1: them all the things I never had when I was
48:53
Speaker 1: growing up. I loved the idea of coming home and
48:56
Speaker 1: having them sit on my lap and tell me about
48:58
Speaker 1: their day. Unfortunately, most days I came home so late
49:04
Speaker 1: that I was only able to kiss them good night
49:06
Speaker 1: after they had gone to sleep. It's amazing how fast
49:09
Speaker 1: kids grow. Before I knew it, they were 9 and 11.
49:15
Speaker 1: I miss seeing them in school plays. Everyone said they
49:18
Speaker 1: were terrific, but the plays all seemed to go on
49:22
Speaker 1: when I was traveling for business or tied up in
49:24
Speaker 1: a special conference. The kids never complained, but I could
49:28
Speaker 1: see the disappointment in their eyes. I kept promising that
49:33
Speaker 1: I would have more time next year. The higher up
49:38
Speaker 1: the corporate ladder I climbed, the less time there seemed
49:41
Speaker 1: to be. Suddenly, they were no longer 9 and 11.
49:47
Speaker 1: They were 14 and 16. Teenagers. I didn't see my
49:51
Speaker 1: daughter the night she went on her first date or
49:53
Speaker 1: my son's championship basketball game. Mom made excuses and I
49:57
Speaker 1: managed to telephone and talk to them before they left
50:01
Speaker 1: the house. I could hear the disappointment in their voices,
50:05
Speaker 1: but I explained as best I could. Don't ask where
50:10
Speaker 1: the years have gone. Those little kids are now 19
50:14
Speaker 1: and 21. They're in college. I can't believe it. My
50:19
Speaker 1: job is now less demanding, and I finally have time
50:21
Speaker 1: for them, but they have their own interests, and there
50:26
Speaker 1: is not much time for me. To be perfectly honest,
50:32
Speaker 1: I'm a little hurt. Seems like yesterday they were five
50:37
Speaker 1: and seven. I'd give anything if I were able to
50:41
Speaker 1: live those years over. You can bet your life I'd
50:43
Speaker 1: do it differently, but they're gone now. So is my
50:47
Speaker 1: chance to be a real dad. No one says on
50:52
Speaker 1: their deathbed, I wish I had spent more time with
50:55
Speaker 1: the business. You'll probably never be on a float plane
51:08
Speaker 1: that creams and crashes. You wind up in the water
51:12
Speaker 1: with your son or daughter. But chances are good that
51:17
Speaker 1: you'll look back with regret if you don't capitalize on
51:22
Speaker 1: loving them now. Like God does us. While we were
51:29
Speaker 1: yet sinning, Christ died for us in a great He
51:35
Speaker 1: didn't wait for us to get good. He reached out
51:39
Speaker 1: and risked when we were bad. Paid the price in full.
51:47
Speaker 1: Let's bow together. If you've never trusted the Lord Jesus Christ,
51:58
Speaker 1: the good news is that his love will never grow cold.
52:02
Speaker 1: He'll love you all the way to your death. He's
52:06
Speaker 1: paid the price for your sins. It's your move to
52:10
Speaker 1: come to him. He'll be all over it. All over it.
52:16
Speaker 1: Just come by faith. You don't even have to know
52:19
Speaker 1: the right words. Just place yourself before him and take
52:23
Speaker 1: him as your savior. If we can help you contact us,
52:30
Speaker 1: meet with us at the prayer room here. Write us
52:33
Speaker 1: a note. Tell us. We'll help you get going. Lord,
52:40
Speaker 1: we got a lot of tough and bad habits to
52:43
Speaker 1: get over. Help us with them. We got a lot
52:47
Speaker 1: of honesty we have to face to start doing this now.
52:52
Speaker 1: Got a lot of notes we need to write. Got
52:56
Speaker 1: a lot of love we need to give. Give us
53:01
Speaker 1: the courage to risk. And then the joy. Of seeing
53:09
Speaker 1: the benefits. Warm us with these thoughts our father. As
53:16
Speaker 1: we hear the songs of the season. Hold us close
53:21
Speaker 1: to yourself. Just as that daddy held his boy. Till
53:25
Speaker 1: they died. Keep us near this truth.
53:30
Speaker 2: Lord.
53:32
Speaker 1: Start with me. I have so far to go. Thank
53:38
Speaker 1: you for your patience. Now to him who is able
53:43
Speaker 1: to guard us from stumbling and present us faultless before
53:46
Speaker 1: his presence with exceeding great joy, do the only wise God,
53:49
Speaker 1: our Savior, be glory, majesty, dominion, and power now.
53:56
Speaker 2: And forever.
53:58
Speaker 1: And all his people said, Amen.
54:03
Speaker 2: The preceding message, essential glue for every couple to apply.
54:08
Speaker 2: was copyrighted in 2004 and 2006 and the sound recording
54:12
Speaker 2: was copyrighted in 2006 by Charles R. Swindoll, Inc. All
54:16
Speaker 2: rights are reserved worldwide. Duplication of copyrighted material for commercial
54:21
Speaker 2: use is strictly prohibited.