Latest / Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha / Rabbi Moshe Haber Iggeret Ramban: Confidence, Humility, and the Divine Source of Success. 11.27.25

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Rabbi Moshe Haber Iggeret Ramban: Confidence, Humility, and the Divine Source of Success. 11.27.25 · Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha

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  Good to go back to the get an Amban as we do on Sundays.
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  We'll do it today. And that letter that Amban is
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  convincing his son this idea of proper character, starting with
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  proper speech, leading to becoming humble.
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  And then he he talks about all the benefits of being humble.
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  We discussed him at length how it's a much more pleasant life
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  and factually, in fact, you actually live a life we refer to
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  as Ben Alamaba. You feel like you're living in
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  the in the next World. While on this world, if you're
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  humble, if everything feels better, insults don't hit you as
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  hard. Things that are not to your
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  respect don't bother you as much.
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  Things that go on in the world don't make a difference to you
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  as much. When you're humble, things feel
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  better. Then he says challenges is that
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  sometimes it's difficult to humble ourselves.
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  We all have certain strengths. We all have certain strengths,
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  certain angles, you know, we need to have confidence.
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  Every one of us needs to have serious strong self-confidence.
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  Otherwise you wouldn't function. Now where does your confidence
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  come from? The confidence come from
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  something you're good at. So you know there's no you that
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  you're good at. Now what the risk is is you have
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  to address is it the risk is a confidence and the source of
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  confidence can lead to a lack of humility.
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  Now in his argument, you get out to Nabani writes, he says, let
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  me play out for you. You're you're debating humility.
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  You challenge if you can have your mood, Obama, how will a
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  person anyhow be lacking in humility?
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  Where would a person develop arrogance?
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  From where? I'll tell you where.
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  Well, they can come from other people giving them a lot of
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  cover, having a great talent, being very smart, being very
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  well off. He's the easy source of
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  arrogance. So he plays out, he plays them
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  out and he, he has a way with these few lines to address that
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  and to turn it into a positive. Let's see in the Osher go wealth
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  first, if a person would become arrogant because of their
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  wealth. Hashem moriche umashir, we tell
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  the person from Pasuk God is a source Pasuk and alien God is a
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  source of a person's poverty or you're wealth.
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  I mean, because God is the source of that.
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  Don't be so arrogant. Does he came out that says that
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  the came out says that we, we talk about the ladder going up,
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  you know, this is probably shot that's going up and down the
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  ladder. And they say that Hashem what he
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  does all day is brings people up and brings you down that ladder,
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  which means some people go up, some people go down.
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  Hashem is the one 1000% who rises people up, raises people
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  up and takes them down. Now why and therefore
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  financially specifically, we're talking about here now, why is
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  that significant? The reason is significant and
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  because the reason that there's an issue of humility when it
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  comes to wealth and because when things are done by your hands or
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  things are done by my hands, that is the greatest challenge
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  of humility. How does it work?
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  If I'm the one who made myself wealthy, how do I do it?
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  I put in long hours, I made smart investments, I took the
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  right job, I worked the right people.
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  I went through all the training. I'm just playing it out in your
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  mind. I went through all the training,
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  I got the proper training for my father.
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  I channelled my talents to the right thing, right?
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  This is all my own doing. Naturally.
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  That's the perspective. And it's actually very normal
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  and very logical to think that way.
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  And in fact, you're a source of confidence when it comes to
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  success is drawn from that perspective.
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  I did the right investments. I had the right partners, took
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  the right job, went to the right training.
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  I did the right schooling. I didn't search around in class,
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  A listening class. All these minds is all I, I, I.
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  And in fact, if you look back after the fact, after it's all
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  over and you made all that money, you can look back and
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  play out that perspective. Hence the challenge of a person
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  remaining humble. The perspective has to respond
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  with the idea Hashem, God is the one who makes people poor and
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  also lifts people up, takes him down the ladder and up the
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  ladder. Now why is that a challenge?
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  Because you have to replace all those eyes and you can't really
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  undo those eyes. All those eyes are true.
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  You did take that job. You did work with that partner
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  and you did well go through that schooling and you did have that
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  upbringing. I need you to make the right
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  decision. All those things are true.
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  So how do we make a person humble?
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  You put an umbrella perspective on top of them.
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  Exactly. God gave you that partner to
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  meet. He put you in that position.
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  He gave you that school to get into.
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  He gave you those parents. He gave you the idea to make
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  that decision go even further. He made that line, that
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  industry, a successful industry. He was all involved and put
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  growing, raising you during a time that that industry is more
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  effective. So your tools fit perfectly into
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  that. So all the eyes which are there
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  and cannot be erased, but you have to make that happen.
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  Good. So all the I correct all the
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  eyes that are there and all those eyes that lead to
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  arrogance can all lead to removal of that arrogance and in
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  fact to double down the humility when the person adds a
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  perspective on top of that called Hashem put you there.
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  Once you add the Hashem involved in that, everything that's going
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  to make you arrogant instead turns around and not only
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  doesn't make you arrogant, it makes you even more humble.
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  The greater the person is. The most successful a person is
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  with the wrong perspective, unbelievably arrogant.
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  With the right perspective, unbelievably humble.
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  In fact, he should be more humbled than the regular guy.
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  Thank you. He should be more humbled than
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  the average guy. Why?
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  Because he actually has more Hashem in his life.
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  The other guy who's challenged and struggling has Hashem.
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  It's hard to see this person is well off with the proper
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  perspective has more Hashem because God was involved in that
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  decision. God was with you there and he
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  was involved in that training and he chose that partner, he
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  chose that business. So there's a lot more Hashem for
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  him noticeably than there is for the person who's poor.
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  And in fact, you can turn the entire thing upside down if you
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  have the right perspective. So you look at sometimes in the
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  World News, those out there in the world, let's say a non Jew,
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  while you know, the wealthiest man alive and those types of
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  people, right, Those kind, whoever they may be.
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  And you look at them talk and you look at the craziness, you
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  look how they go off the rails. A lot of times off the rails
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  comes from that arrogance and that sense of I'm in control.
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  That's what makes them go off the rails, right?
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  They playing around with the world, they're praying all with
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  life. They played around with
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  politics, they play around with everything.
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  So those people become people that are pretty much, you might
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  refer to them as aloof and then you start referring to them as
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  crazy and out there and not really part of the mainstream
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  and they can't really function regular people.
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  And all this craziness comes because of that self-made wealth
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  and that our insert God into the picture and the entire balloon
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  doesn't become Hazi. Case remains an extremely
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  confident person, but the confidence comes from the fact
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  that I did all those things because I had God's help.
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  I did all those things because I had a sham with me.
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  And now I become both humble and confident back to the good guy
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  as I can be. That's when it comes to wealth,
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  Joe. You see the concept, see the
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  process, and that's how we know many people We know who are very
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  well off and they very normal. And you know, sometimes you
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  know, and then you know some well, people who are they still?
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  Exactly. They still function part of the
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  regular world. They still have to live a
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  regular life. They might also have a part of
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  their life that keeps them humble.
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  I always say it to myself all the time, no matter what you do,
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  it seems like a success. Hashem will always throw one
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  thing there to remind you that you're a man of flesh and blood.
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  Always remind you you're a humble person.
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  It's good for us always. They have that or they have this
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  perspective and this perspective that we have in front of us.
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  Say again, why exactly It's a real thing.
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  Guy could have. Guy could have these rolling.
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  Let's say I did something amazing and true.
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  I'll take my own song. I come home.
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  If I say the wrong thing at home, I'm in the same zone as
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  any other husband, right? It doesn't make a difference.
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  Doesn't matter, Correct? Why is it the wrong thing?
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  I don't know. Well, someone decided, you know,
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  well you're being recorded whatever can, and you held
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  against yourself. The point is, I'm sure you have
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  attitude. You can have a great day at
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  work, you can have a great day at work just in that
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  perspective. And you know, you come home, you
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  say something wrong, you're the great day is out the window.
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  So there's ways to be made humble.
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  And that's part of God's world. Yeah, that's part of God's
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  world. So the overall perspective is
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  there is a key, there's a trigger to arrogance, and that
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  same trigger to arrogance can be turned around to humility.
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  That's when it comes to wealth. What about what comes to another
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  area? How about if a person is for
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  some odd reason, it's a lot of Cowboys.
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  That's a lot of respect. So if you erase wealth, usually
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  respect, respect outside of wealth, Major family, major
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  name, big rabbi, just a lot of respect.
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  Age, age, they get respect. What do you do?
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  What do you do? We'll get to intelligence in a
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  second. How do you remove the arrogance
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  that comes from others respecting you?
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  Now let me explain the arrogance very clearly.
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  The way it works very simply is and bond is dealing with it when
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  others look at you like a big deal and they treat you like a
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  big deal. I'll give you a classic example
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  for a rabbi. You know, nowadays when they
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  talk to a rabbi and they say, does the rabbi know where the
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  rabbi's eating lunch today? I always laugh at this language.
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  Does the rabbi know? I went to teach in a school for
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  a year. It was the first time I was
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  introduced to this language. And it was like over the top.
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  Does the rabbi know where the rabbi is going?
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  Where the rabbi Parks is caught. And I was like, I don't know who
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  you're talking about. Rabbi, indeed.
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  Who are you talking about exactly?
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  I was in that school, the rabbi you're talking about.
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  But anyhow, they say the rabbi, that language can get to your
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  head very fast. Why?
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  Because all that language, that way they treat you, the way they
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  ask you questions, the way they talk to a third person, the way
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  they give you unbelievable honor, it gets to the end.
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  How do you do away with that honor?
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  How do you address that honor? Here's the key.
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  When it comes to kavod, the same way we said it with wealth,
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  there's a similar perspective with its own twist when it comes
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  to honor. That is 1 needs to recognize
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  100% all honour in this world is only existence, fashion.
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  Every level of cavoi that you give another person or that you
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  receive yourself is cavoi shamaya.
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  What do I mean? When you give that respect to a
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  rabbi? What you are doing is saying
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  being at this rabbi is God's representative being that he
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  works in God's field. God deserves cavoi.
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  So the rabbi is going to be God's physical existence on this
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  earth. So he's God's emissary, he's
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  God's ambassador. What you're doing is you're
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  talking to a portion of Hashem. That's why you're giving him
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  respect. And the rabbi needs to know that
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  he can't think. And anyone important needs to
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  know an elder as well, even an old person, really giving them
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  respect is also as a representation of Hashem, a
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  parent, even when they get unbelievable respect from their
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  child, each other that that's the right thing.
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  But that respect is also respect toward Hashem.
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  And when you recognize that, again, the bloated arrogance
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  that can come from other people treating you as a big deal can
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  be shaved all the way down by realizing they're not actually
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  talking to you. They're talking to your master,
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  they're talking to your father. They're talking to the one who
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  put you in this position in the 1st place.
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  They're not giving Kavoid to the rabbi.
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  They're giving kavoid to the Torah.
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  They're not giving kavoid to the person.
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  They're giving respect to Hashem.
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  Now, that doesn't mean to disrespect the great person at
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  all. Give him great respect.
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  I made fun of the rabbi, of the rabbi business.
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  Reality is, these children grow up with unbelievable respect of
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  their rabbis, and it's very healthy for them because they
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  ask some questions and they trust their guidance and they
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  follow them and they get influenced the right way many
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  times from the rabbi's perspective, only because of the
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  respect. Respect is one of the most
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  powerful tools at our Toraja's disposal.
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  Why? Because any comment that a rabbi
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  says is only valuable because of respect, right?
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  If a guy got up there in jeans and AT shirt and said you got to
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  shape up and you got to do this and you got to do that, a
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  regular guy in jeans and AT shirt, not going to have any
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  effect. The rabbi guys up there suit and
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  tie. People look at him like a big
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  deal and he says something. His words carry weight because
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  of what's behind that statement. Respect is one of the most
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  important and powerful tools in our system.
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  It's what allows us to be influenced.
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  You're not influenced if a random guy who doesn't know how
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  to run a business came over to you and told you no, I think you
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  should shape up your company in the following way.
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  He'd say you're a very smooth talker.
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  I hear we have to say, what's it worth?
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  It's not backed by anything. But if the guy who has a major
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  company comes and tells you how to run it, you give it much more
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  respect and you accept his word so much more.
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  That is the power of respect and business.
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  And the same thing is true and Torah as well.
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  If I came to you as a rabbi who officially is 1.
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  But he doesn't really know anything.
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  He just has a position and his words carry no weight.
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  But if you know that he's backed by a lot of Torah, a lot of
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  years, whatever it may be, then his words carry so much more
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  weight, Correct? So respect is a very effective
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  tool and a very necessary tool, but you got to be careful to not
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  allow the respect that you receive or that I receive to get
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  to our heads. And the way we do that is by
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  saying disrespect that I'm getting.
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  It's not mine, I don't own it. It's not meant for me.
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  It's meant by 'cause there's about a who 1000%.
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  And when they're giving me honor, when they stand up for a
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  rabbi, what they're really doing is they're standing up for the
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  Torah. So a Torah walks in the room,
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  stand up. A rabbi walks in the room, you
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  stand up because he learnt, that's why, because he's a
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  walking saver to God. So it all goes back to God when
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  you have that perspective. If you're a significant person,
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  which we all are in our own way, and you're getting respect in
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  your position, you tell yourself, I know I'm getting
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  respect, I know people are making me into a big deal.
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  Let's be clear, it's all Hashem, and if Hashem wanted, He could
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  undo this in 5 minutes or less. If God wanted, He can make this
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  respect go away like this. People won't be interested
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  anymore. People are not impressed.
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  My words are no longer carrying any weight, whatever it may be.
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  God could do that in a second and they covered exactly.
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  Be very careful what you say because Hashem can take it down
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  the last area. So again, two areas of arrogance
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  are wealth and respect the President's going to represent.
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  I respond this way. The last one is wisdom.
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  Now, wisdom feels like it's man made, especially if it's Torah
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  wisdom. If you're known to be a major
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  tamit kaham, not a Rabbi Vishu, a major tamit kaham, you sit,
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  you learn, you know everything, all right?
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  If you know everything and people make a big deal about
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  you, they ask that rabbi a question.
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  He always knows the answer, all right?
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  He's always got it on the fingertips.
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  There's a chance there's a major risk you're going to become a
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  little bit, you know, arrogant. Why?
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  I know so much and now I know so much.
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  I worked at it. It took all those years and I
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  did it take all those years. It's a holy thing.
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  So I put in my time. It wasn't business, it wasn't
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  respect. It's Torah.
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  I developed a lot of wisdom of Torah where, you know, easily
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  I'm at risk of becoming an arrogant person.
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  Correct you or no, right. How do you want to do that?
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  How do you want to do the arrogance say again, good.
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  And this is even further and more difficult to see, but it's
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  equally very real. Hashem gave you the wisdom to be
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  in that position. God gave you the words to say
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  that speech or gave you the idea to say that comment with now
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  this is very challenging because it's from our mind with our
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  reading. I'm reading you this book today,
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  right? You get it then I'm buying.
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  I read it from learning it last night, from preparing it last
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  night. Where is Hashem involved?
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  The way Hashem was involved is very clear.
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  He gave you the connections. He gave you the theme.
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  He gave you the idea to read the Guerra Tanaban.
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  He gave you this perspective on this book.
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  He gave you everything that you developed from these words.
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  It's all totally 1000% Hashem. The learning that you do the
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  application of the learning, the way you understand the learning,
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  the way you write based on the learning, the way you say over
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  an idea to your family based on the learning all that are all
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  different versions of God, God, God, God.
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  That has to be our perspective and the clearest example he
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  gives is they bring over here on the bottom and we'll close with
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  this and come first align. The MIT Baehr bekhoma that I'm
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  about is telling his son, if you become glorified because of your
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  wisdom, Misir Safa leneh manim Hashem can remove the speech of
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  the most competent, the Tom Zikenem yikak, and the wisdom of
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  the age can be gone. I'll give you 2 gemaro to back
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  this up. There was a rabbi, Rabbi Asef.
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  Rabbi Asef was quoted all over the place.
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  Rabbi Asef later on in life says, and he was known to be one
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  of the most wise rabbis of his time.
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  He was a big time teacher. A lot of the rabbis came from
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  him. Later on in his life.
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  He went blind. And when he went blind, another
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  challenge happened, says the Camara.
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  He forgot everything he learned. So what happened would be they
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  would say a la ha, and he'd say, I don't remember that.
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  And they would say you don't remember it.
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  You taught it to us. It's actually being quoted in
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  your name. And they had to reteach to him,
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  reteach him the entire total that he learned because he had
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  forgotten everything. Why is that done to remind us
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  that our wisdom is also a God giving gift.
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  And the other example is our speech of our wisdom, the things
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  that come out of our mouth. Also the right words at the
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  right tone at the right angle to make the right pitch to say the
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  right thing. All that all those smarts also
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  from God. They give us an example where
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  Rabbi was they were looking for a new town Rabbi.
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  This is Nigamara and they and someone recommended my student
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  is the best. Take him, he goes to the town,
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  coming for the big moment, the big meeting, the big speech, and
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  he gets up to talk. Nothing comes out of his mouth.
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  He thought I'd ask you any questions.
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  He said I'd ask you any questions.
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  Still nothing comes out of his mouth.
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  And he has to shamefully get down from the pulpit, go down
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  and walk back or go back to his Old Town or go back to his
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  teacher. His teacher said what happened?
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  He says I learnt pretty much, I learnt a wisdom comes from God.
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  I learned that everything I have comes from Hashem.
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  I learned that from this moment. These are two stories and there
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  are many. Any rabbi themselves in this
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  current day and age can give you examples of where the idea that
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  they came up with for the speech, the greatest speech they
• 20:57
  ever gave or the greatest thought they ever said came from
• 21:00
  Hashem. From some random vision or some
• 21:02
  random sight they saw a random thought.
• 21:05
  The theme is we all have gifts and those are built to make us
• 21:10
  confident, but at the same time you add the Hashem factor that
• 21:14
  are meant to make us weak but humble They do because when you
• 21:19
  add Hashem, you say my wealth, a lot of good moves, plus God, my,
• 21:23
  my ideas, my my cavot, the honor of people gave to me.
• 21:27
  It's only because this time the other thing and it's all Hashem
• 21:30
  getting the cavot, it's actually cavot to Hashem.
• 21:34
  And my wisdom even, which feels so much my own because I had sat
• 21:39
  and I learned and I developed and I put in the time and I went
• 21:42
  to school and I sat with those rabbis and I sweated over the
• 21:46
  Gemara and I wrote notes and I went back to review all those.
• 21:51
  I, I when it comes to wisdom as well is also 1000%.
• 21:55
  I shouldn't put it in your mind. I shouldn't put it in your
• 21:58
  mouth. And you can take this away or
• 22:00
  that away at any point in time. And because of that, that makes
• 22:04
  us feel that we are actually all like angels.
• 22:07
  We're the Shalia Kabashian, humble but very confident at the
• 22:11
  same time. That's the idea.
• 22:12
  Let's start with this. This could be.