Latest / The Confident Entrepreneur With Jennifer Ann Johnson / Transformative Habits for Personal & Professional Growth with Sue Ryan
Transcript
- 0:37Jennifer Johnson: Today we welcome back into the studio Sue Ryan.
- 0:40Jennifer Johnson: She is a dear, dear friend of mine and for the past 40 years she has been helping individuals, from entrepreneurs to Fortune 100 companies to C-suite leaders and over 700 organizations of all sizes and multitudes of industries navigate transitions in their business.
- 1:00Jennifer Johnson: And she's a rock star.
- 1:02Jennifer Johnson: She simply is a rock star.
- 1:06Sue Ryan: Well.
- 1:06Sue Ryan: I don't know if Osby Osbourne would agree with that.
- 1:10Jennifer Johnson: Well, there you go, you're phenomenal.
- 1:13Jennifer Johnson: Thank you, and I'll go with rock star.
- 1:15Jennifer Johnson: Yeah, just go with the rock star.
- 1:16Jennifer Johnson: Claim it, own it.
- 1:17Jennifer Johnson: I'm going to claim it.
- 1:18Jennifer Johnson: Today.
- 1:20Jennifer Johnson: I want to talk with you about habits.
- 1:23Jennifer Johnson: Yes, ma'am, okay, and not just any habits, but habits that we can find for ourselves to create a better business environment, for ourselves to create just a better life.
- 1:35Jennifer Johnson: Sure, right, sure.
- 1:37Jennifer Johnson: And do you have any thoughts on what successful habits of, or how should I phrase this?
- 1:45Jennifer Johnson: Habits of successful entrepreneurs?
- 1:48Sue Ryan: Yes.
- 1:49Jennifer Johnson: Do they all have something in common?
- 1:50Jennifer Johnson: No, wow, yes, no.
- 1:55Jennifer Johnson: Thank you, ma'am.
- 1:57Sue Ryan: I'm going to disrupt your podcast.
- 2:01Jennifer Johnson: Please disrupt it.
- 2:03Sue Ryan: I could talk about specificity of.
- 2:05Sue Ryan: They get up at five in the morning, they make a list, they have the priorities, they have all these different things and yet that, to me, is an endpoint.
- 2:12Sue Ryan: I talk about cause and effect.
- 2:14Sue Ryan: When you are in alignment with what's most important and you create the habits that work for you, you create your own and you live with them and you live from them and they fit you and they're very efficient.
- 2:24Sue Ryan: If I try to copy your habits, that does not mean it's the right habit.
- 2:30Sue Ryan: So my thing is you want to understand yourself in a meaningful way and you want to get back to what is important for you in your life.
- 2:41Sue Ryan: And how are you going to know how to create the habits that work and support you, because otherwise you will be striving to be like someone else, you'll hold yourself in judgment, you can't be fully present, you can't be in alignment, you're not making the wisest choice, you're chasing, you're chasing and you're chasing somebody else, not yourself.
- 3:00Sue Ryan: My one tip for today a big, huge thing, and I've got something I put together on it.
- 3:05Sue Ryan: I am incredibly passionate about this because I lived in the absence of it and I strove and strove and strove and I did all the mechanical things until I learned what this is.
- 3:20Sue Ryan: When we are very, very young, our personalities are forming and the beliefs that we have.
- 3:27Sue Ryan: The truth that serves us when we're very young is being formed in us, and some of it comes from our genetics, some of it comes from our early childhood environment, some of it comes from our family environment and we develop these beliefs of it comes from our family environment and we develop these beliefs and, as our little personalities are forming, these beliefs get established and then, throughout our younger years, we're developing new beliefs and they become automatic patterns running us.
- 3:52Sue Ryan: So, by the time we're like in our early 30s, over 90% of who we are are a set of automatic patterns running us and we're not aware of them because, unlike when you go to the, you get life insurance policy, you get a car insurance policy, you get a condo policy or home policy, and six months ahead of time they say, hey, your policy is going to renew.
- 4:10Sue Ryan: Has anything changed in your life?
- 4:12Sue Ryan: We're not normally encouraged to evaluate what we believe to be truth, and the analogy I use is when I was seven years old, I wore pants that were a certain size.
- 4:24Sue Ryan: Well, they don't fit me anymore.
- 4:25Sue Ryan: So why would I think that the beliefs that were in my life would necessarily believe me?
- 4:29Sue Ryan: So when I talk about creating habits, I go back to the source.
- 4:34Sue Ryan: What is it I believe is the truth for me?
- 4:36Sue Ryan: And this is raising it to our level of awareness.
- 4:40Sue Ryan: So the first thing that we do is we start becoming aware.
- 4:43Sue Ryan: What is it that we believe?
- 4:44Sue Ryan: What is it that we believe to be true?
- 4:46Sue Ryan: Why do we believe that to be true?
- 4:48Sue Ryan: Now, some of those are really great.
- 4:51Sue Ryan: A quick example that I use is when we were very young, we were taught look both ways before you cross the street, and that was to keep us.
- 4:57Sue Ryan: It was from a place of love, to keep us safe.
- 4:59Sue Ryan: And now, thank goodness, I learned that, because now I automatically look both ways before I cross the street, or I would be as flat as a pancake.
- 5:05Sue Ryan: So, just as powerfully as those that are valuable, some of those, I'm not worthy, I'm not good enough, and when we're very young, we haven't learned discernment yet.
- 5:14Sue Ryan: So when somebody says you're a bad person or you're no good, we believe that to be true, especially when it comes from a person of authority, and then we don't have this thing that goes.
- 5:23Sue Ryan: You know, in first grade they don't say okay, now let's look at anything you believe.
- 5:27Sue Ryan: And when we get to sixth grade, okay, let's look at our beliefs.
- 5:29Sue Ryan: So I'm big on evaluating beliefs and I'll walk through that if you'd like.
- 5:37Jennifer Johnson: I mean, I think it's great, and it's not something that we're not even, as individuals, aware of.
- 5:44Jennifer Johnson: This right, like you said, we are on pretty much autopilot.
- 5:48Jennifer Johnson: It's like breathing.
- 5:50Jennifer Johnson: We don't have to think about it.
- 5:52Jennifer Johnson: We just go about our daily business, doing what we do, because that's what we've always done, until something breaks down and we have to go.
- 6:00Jennifer Johnson: Well, wait a second, what's happening?
- 6:03Sue Ryan: This is one of the things I work so much with people navigating transitions.
- 6:07Sue Ryan: And if you're going to a new space with old habits, that are patterns that are running you, how can you be the best version of yourself?
- 6:17Sue Ryan: My passion in life is people continuously become the best version of themselves, and so you go back and you start.
- 6:25Sue Ryan: Just, it's so simple.
- 6:26Sue Ryan: You start raising to your level of awareness what do I believe to be true?
- 6:29Sue Ryan: Why do I believe that to be true?
- 6:30Sue Ryan: What do I choose to believe to be true?
- 6:34Sue Ryan: And then you start creating new habits based on what that is.
- 6:41Sue Ryan: So you start believing that that is what is true.
- 6:43Sue Ryan: Then you start programming yourself for that.
- 6:45Sue Ryan: You practice it over and over and over again.
- 6:47Sue Ryan: That becomes an unconscious pattern of behavior and now you know you keep checking in on things and checking in on things.
- 6:52Sue Ryan: And then you get an accountability partner, or multiple ones in different areas of your lives, in areas that you're not aware of, and they can help raise your level of awareness, which also helps them do the same thing and that's great advice.
- 7:05Jennifer Johnson: But now, how do we know that we need to do this?
- 7:09Jennifer Johnson: I don't know gut check or this check, like how do we know that we need to do it and how often do we need to do it?
- 7:18Sue Ryan: Excellent question.
- 7:19Sue Ryan: You can do it as often as you choose to do it.
- 7:22Sue Ryan: The number one thing you want to be doing is becoming aware.
- 7:27Sue Ryan: The first level of this is consciousness and awareness, so it is becoming really aware of what you're doing, and one of the things, for example, I caught myself the other day.
- 7:39Sue Ryan: Somebody suggested something and they said you know, you ought to pick up pickleball there it's a great way to meet people and I was like I've got a lot of things going on in my life.
- 7:47Sue Ryan: You know I don't.
- 7:48Sue Ryan: And I stopped and I said whoa, that was an unconscious pattern of behavior.
- 7:54Sue Ryan: Is that I'm too busy to pick up something new?
- 7:57Sue Ryan: And I said I choose to stop and intentionally explore that.
- 8:03Sue Ryan: So, like we had spoken about in the other podcast, sometimes we become aware of it through somebody else's, an accountability partner, somebody else who can see in us what we can't see in ourselves when we're intentional in our day, when you, literally, you're looking at it and say, okay, okay, I just brushed my teeth and I have no idea what I did.
- 8:21Sue Ryan: I just went through that conversation.
- 8:25Sue Ryan: I said this about something.
- 8:28Sue Ryan: So, in all of these different areas, we start raising our level of awareness of it.
- 8:32Sue Ryan: I created a guide.
- 8:34Sue Ryan: I'll give you the link for it and people can go through it.
- 8:36Sue Ryan: It is gradually starting.
- 8:38Sue Ryan: It's creating your level of expectation that you are going to evaluate things in your life and nothing is off limits.
- 8:45Sue Ryan: One of the other great ways of doing this and I call it the wheel of life alignment and they've got these exercises called wheel of life balance where you look at pies in your life and you give you know this is health and fitness, this is spiritual, this is perfect.
- 9:00Sue Ryan: All of those things.
- 9:01Sue Ryan: You start looking at those and you start becoming.
- 9:05Sue Ryan: What do you think about money?
- 9:06Sue Ryan: What do you believe about money?
- 9:09Sue Ryan: And you ask yourself my beliefs about money came from the way my parents did or didn't teach me and that's just what I believed.
- 9:18Sue Ryan: I didn't question that.
- 9:19Sue Ryan: I didn't go back and do it and it's not like it's the absence of that.
- 9:22Sue Ryan: It's like is that still the truth for me?
- 9:24Sue Ryan: That's something I learned many years ago.
- 9:26Sue Ryan: So you become unquenchably curious and ask yourself what else is possible and ask yourself is this really true for me?
- 9:37Sue Ryan: And you can write those down on a piece of paper and you can carry them around with you and in so many different areas and you create the level of expectations with other people around you, especially your friends, to ask the same thing.
- 9:50Jennifer Johnson: Is your closet overflowing?
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- 10:09Jennifer Johnson: You can reach out to them online at truefashionistascom.
- 10:12Jennifer Johnson: Come into the store or check them out on Facebook or Instagram, and that's truefashionistascom.
- 10:18Jennifer Johnson: All right, friends, we're back with Sue Ryan, and we are chatting today about habits of successful entrepreneurs.
- 10:25Jennifer Johnson: Now, I know that there was a part that you wanted to get to, so I definitely want to delve into that right now, because it's important information.
- 10:35Sue Ryan: And into some of the common habits that we were talking about.
- 10:38Sue Ryan: When you're creating a habit and a habit is and, by the way, getting back to like the word habit when I say a habit is one of the things that we want to make sure we're doing is getting our own definition of words.
- 10:52Sue Ryan: So this is a huge thing.
- 10:55Sue Ryan: If we want to create a new habit, we want to become aware of what our other habits are.
- 10:58Sue Ryan: So start listing out what are your habits.
- 11:00Sue Ryan: Then identify how it's working for you, why you believe you have it.
- 11:05Sue Ryan: If you were to replace it with something, what would you replace it with?
- 11:08Sue Ryan: And just you know, like, make it like a checklist.
- 11:11Sue Ryan: So like, this is a great habit.
- 11:13Jennifer Johnson: It's becoming aware of them is the problem because, and I don't mean it in a problem wise, but that's the challenge, because we have to stop and be still enough to go.
- 11:24Jennifer Johnson: All right, I need to do this exercise.
- 11:25Jennifer Johnson: I really want to know what I'm doing.
- 11:28Sue Ryan: Exactly, and some of it is.
- 11:29Sue Ryan: You don't even know that you're doing it.
- 11:31Sue Ryan: The interesting thing when I get people doing these exercises, they're surprised at the number of things they do.
- 11:37Sue Ryan: They're not even aware they do it and some of it is they've gotten in the habit of going to Starbucks and when they're doing that, going to Starbucks isn't really the end thing.
- 11:49Sue Ryan: They're checking this, they're doing that, they're at Starbucks while they're doing this and what?
- 11:52Sue Ryan: It's a piece of something else, and so part of it is becoming intentional in your life and raising to your level of awareness and then asking yourself what is it I choose to believe?
- 12:03Sue Ryan: Does this support or sabotage me?
- 12:05Sue Ryan: Where is this in what I am looking to accomplish when you're working?
- 12:11Sue Ryan: So when we talk about things that we want to have as a habit, you say, okay, well, what does a habit mean for me?
- 12:17Sue Ryan: How does a habit serve me?
- 12:18Sue Ryan: So you want to get really really clear on what kind of habit you want, not even the specific habit like brushing your teeth every morning.
- 12:26Sue Ryan: But what do I want a habit to do for me?
- 12:31Sue Ryan: What is the purpose of a habit in my life?
- 12:36Sue Ryan: And if you have clarity on how it supports, not sabotages, you.
- 12:43Sue Ryan: Then you start looking at everything you're doing through the lens of this is a habit and it's not working so well for me.
- 12:53Sue Ryan: And then you say what does Choose what works for you?
- 12:57Sue Ryan: And then you say what does Choose what works for you?
- 12:59Sue Ryan: And then you continue to reset your expectations and so not everything becomes a habit.
- 13:05Sue Ryan: Sometimes it's an interim process that you're doing.
- 13:08Sue Ryan: I'm experimenting with this.
- 13:10Sue Ryan: A lot of people talk about losing weight and they say, well, I'm going to get in the habit of doing this and the habit of doing this, and then they think that they have to do this and then start doing it for a long period of time.
- 13:18Sue Ryan: You know, a habit for me could be that I'm going to you know I don't do this, but I'll just give an example.
- 13:24Sue Ryan: A lot of people will drink a cup of coffee in the morning and they'll put creamer and things like that.
- 13:29Sue Ryan: And then they think, okay, I can never have that anymore.
- 13:32Sue Ryan: When something to your level of awareness and you're at choice with it, it doesn't mean you have to create a new habit.
- 13:37Sue Ryan: It means you could become aware of something you're doing and you're choosing and you're saying this morning, I really do feel like having a cup of coffee with that creamer tomorrow?
- 13:45Sue Ryan: No, I don't, and you're at choice.
- 13:48Sue Ryan: So it's not the the necessarily having to have everything be a habit.
- 13:52Sue Ryan: And it's not that you have to replace a habit with a habit.
- 13:56Sue Ryan: You could replace it with a pathway.
- 13:59Sue Ryan: I'm choosing to do something different.
- 14:01Sue Ryan: I don't know what that habit's ultimately going to be, because I'm not there yet.
- 14:05Sue Ryan: However, the pathway is going to be conscious actions I'm taking toward the outcome I choose to have and what you're doing in the process for that which is taking you to a new place and you're discovering new things and along the way, you may say this is kind of working for me, I think.
- 14:25Sue Ryan: I'm going to keep doing this or no, I think I'm going to try something else.
- 14:30Sue Ryan: So again, a big part of what happens is that habits tend to be places where we have judgment.
- 14:36Sue Ryan: It's either good or bad.
- 14:38Sue Ryan: When we just accept this is what I'm doing.
- 14:40Sue Ryan: This is what I'm doing, and okay, I used to do this and this is what it is.
- 14:45Sue Ryan: I'm at choice.
- 14:46Sue Ryan: I can do this and always stay at choice.
- 14:51Jennifer Johnson: I love that.
- 14:52Sue Ryan: Thank you.
- 14:54Jennifer Johnson: It works and I like how you said it.
- 14:56Jennifer Johnson: Basically is what you're doing serving you?
- 14:59Jennifer Johnson: Is it doing anything for you?
- 15:01Jennifer Johnson: Maybe it's hindering you from something else.
- 15:06Sue Ryan: And if it's a long-held belief like I'm not worthy.
- 15:09Sue Ryan: Oh, those are the worst right, those are the worst.
- 15:11Sue Ryan: And then you've created habits that support you not seeing yourself as worthy, not taking actions based on being worthy, and you know, and, and like if you were saying that if and I've had people where they come they'll say, well, you know they'll, you'll ask them a question and they preface the answer with well, I'm not really good at that and I haven't done this and I haven't done it and I'll say stop, I've done that.
- 15:32Sue Ryan: I'm sure you heard me.
- 15:34Jennifer Johnson: I've told you to stop.
- 15:35Jennifer Johnson: You have, but again that it took somebody to tell me that, to break me from it, and you wrote a book about that?
- 15:45Sue Ryan: Yes, and yet what happened was, until you were able to break that, you didn't even know you were doing it.
- 15:53Jennifer Johnson: And I, honestly, if I I don't know if I would have found it on my own- so often we don't because we can't see in ourselves.
- 16:02Sue Ryan: Yeah, it's a habit, it's an un.
- 16:04Sue Ryan: A habit is an unconscious pattern of behavior and we get into those so often not even knowing whether they serve us or not.
- 16:12Sue Ryan: That's not the point of a habit.
- 16:13Sue Ryan: A habit is a thing.
- 16:14Sue Ryan: It's not good or bad, it just is.
- 16:16Sue Ryan: It's what we apply to it and we say, well, it has to be either good or bad when we have.
- 16:26Sue Ryan: And then we're talking about entrepreneurs and we're talking about female entrepreneurs.
- 16:30Sue Ryan: One of the greatest things you can do is when somebody is saying something and you know it doesn't serve them, and it's just this thing that they just keep saying.
- 16:36Sue Ryan: You is saying something and you know it doesn't serve them, and it's just this thing that they just keep saying.
- 16:39Sue Ryan: You say, stop Right there, exactly, and wake them up and say if you didn't believe that to be true, what would you choose?
- 16:45Sue Ryan: What?
- 16:46Jennifer Johnson: action would you choose and I've heard you say that before and that's very powerful when you actually sit down and think about it.
- 16:53Jennifer Johnson: It is If you didn't have that negative word, know, negative word in your mind, what else would you choose to believe is true here?
- 17:00Sue Ryan: What would you put there instead Exactly, and how's that working?
- 17:03Sue Ryan: And again I go back to this Dr Phil saying because it really is great so how's that working for you?
- 17:12Sue Ryan: And it's humorous because when you do and you think about it from that perspective.
- 17:14Sue Ryan: It's like, yeah, not so good and yet okay, and I talk a lot about borrowing confidence, borrowing courage and borrowing strength.
- 17:21Sue Ryan: When we're looking at replacing or creating a habit or creating a pattern of behavior, a pathway to something that's better.
- 17:30Sue Ryan: We may not be strong enough yet on our own and we do not have to be as females, as entrepreneurs however you want to classify it when we reach out to each other and say I am working on this and I appreciate you being another set of eyes and ears and another heart to support me in this.
- 17:48Sue Ryan: That's where women can raise each other up so quickly.
- 17:53Sue Ryan: We can hold each other accountable, we can invite people into the consideration of an alternative perspective and when they say something and we can tell that they're not at choice, we can say do you really feel like you were at choice with what you just said?
- 18:07Sue Ryan: And if you were at choice, what would you say or what would you do?
- 18:11Jennifer Johnson: Beautifully said.
- 18:12Jennifer Johnson: Thank you.
- 18:13Jennifer Johnson: Our conversations are always beautiful.
- 18:14Jennifer Johnson: I love that.
- 18:15Jennifer Johnson: I love you.
- 18:16Jennifer Johnson: If our listeners want to get a hold of you, how can they?
- 18:21Sue Ryan: do so.
- 18:21Sue Ryan: My email address is sue at sueryansolutions and my website is sueryansolutions.
- 18:29Sue Ryan: They can go to my website and get a message to me and get on my calendar and I am grateful for the opportunity to speak or coach or listen or whatever I can do to help people.
- 18:43Jennifer Johnson: That's my passion and I can say that firsthand.
- 18:45Jennifer Johnson: I know it's your passion.
- 18:46Jennifer Johnson: You're a phenomenal individual.
- 18:48Jennifer Johnson: Thank you, absolutely.