Latest / Life, Finance, & Real Estate with KirbyTheRealtor / EP| 40 WHO TAUGHT YOU WHAT SUCCESS LOOKS LIKE?

Transcript

EP| 40 WHO TAUGHT YOU WHAT SUCCESS LOOKS LIKE? · Life, Finance, & Real Estate with KirbyTheRealtor

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_03: Welcome to Life, Finance and Real Estate, where we discuss how to make smart money moves, the ever-changing real estate market, and of course, things going on in life.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_03: And here to talk about it more with you is your host, Carrie Lor.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_02: Let me tell you about it.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to another episode of Life Finance and Real Estate with the girl Kirby the Realtor.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yep, that's me, where we talk about life.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: We talk about money.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: We talk about real estate, and most importantly, we talk about building something that can last and owning a piece of America.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: And you know what I always say?
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: I don't just teach you how to what?
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: I don't just teach you how to earn it.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: I teach you how to sustain it.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: And today, I want to make you think just a little bit.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna start with one question.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: And that question is, what does success look like to you?
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: Can you tell me?
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: Can you just think about it for a moment?
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: What does success look like to you?
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I don't need you to give me the answer that you think you're supposed to give, and the church answer, social media answer, or the answer that you your parents told you growing up.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: What does success actually look like to you?
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: Is it a certain amount of money?
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: Is it having a particular home or or being a business owner or owning a um having a certain title or driving certain vehicles, maybe getting married, having children, being able to travel, retired at a certain age?
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: What is it?
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: Do you have your answer?
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: Are you writing it down?
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: Are you thinking about it very carefully?
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I also have a question that may be a little harder.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: Who taught you that that was success supposed to look like?
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just curious because somewhere along the way, somebody gave us this picture, right?
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: This picture of what success was supposed to look like.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: For me, there were many instances where I watched TV as a kid growing up.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: You know, let's talk about that.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: You got the Huxtables, the that is the college show, Full House, just different things.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: Like you see the people with all the different careers, right?
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but somebody taught us that, right?
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: A picture came from somewhere.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: You may have seen your parents, your aunts, your uncles, your cousins, you know, different things.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: But it gave you that picture of what success was supposed to look like.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: And most of us started chasing it before we were old enough to ask whether it was something we actually wanted, right?
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: You can even think about careers, you know, people seeing that their mom or aunt or somebody was a nurse and all the things, right?
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: Just think about it for a minute.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: You could spend 10 years, 20, or 30 climbing a ladder.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: And y'all know what I think about ladders.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: We talk about ladders being on certain walls, but you spend those years climbing those ladders only to get to the top.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: And then you realize this isn't even the wall I wanted my ladder leaning against.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: That's something to think about.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: So today I want to talk about something we don't talk about enough.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: Who taught you what success looked like and whether or not they were wrong?
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: And not necessarily wrong for themselves, but if their definition was supposed to become yours or not, because you might be spending your entire life trying to win a game you never needed to play, or spending your entire life with your ladder on the wrong wall.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: Now, think back to when you were growing up, right?
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: For many of us, success had a pretty simple formula.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: You go to school, make sure you get good grades, make sure you graduate high school, go to college or learn a certain trade, right?
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: Make sure you get a good job, get married, buy a house, have kids, work, retire, and hopefully you'll have enough money left to enjoy yourself.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: Now let me be very clear about that.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: There's absolutely nothing wrong with that kind of life, right?
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: But for some people, that's exactly the life they want.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: Here's my question to you.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: Did you choose it or did you inherit it?
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: Because there's a difference, right?
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes we can carry dreams that belong to our parents, our grandparents, our uncles and aunts, our community.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes those dreams, you know, it made sense for the this world that we're living in, right?
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: I could remember a lot of people saying, oh, you should be a nurse, you should be a nurse.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: Because that's what we're in in our family, and that's what we seen growing up, right?
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what we heard.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, if you're a doctor, if you're a nurse, you know, you're gonna make all this money.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: That's what they said.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: But for Kirby, y'all, nursing ain't for you, girl.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, you give me numbers, I can get my hands dirty, I can do all the things, but nursing not for me.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: I love the people.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: I can get attached, but I have a very weak stomach.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: I don't like spots, I don't like gruesome stuff.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: I can't do it.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: I can't do it.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: So kudos to those that are on here that are nurses and EMTs and and all the things, right?
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: But guess what?
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: That wasn't for me.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: That wasn't for me.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes, y'all, we carry dreams that belong to our parents.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: And those dreams sometimes made sense for them, but it didn't make sense for us.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: I know growing up they always say, make sure you get a good job so you have benefits and insurance and all the things, right?
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: Why?
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: Because stability mattered.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: It mattered.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: It mattered to them, and it mattered to them because there was a time where they didn't have health insurance or they didn't have, you know, the um the back and they didn't have that stability.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: They watched their own people struggle, and nobody in their family ever, you know, owned something.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe they didn't own a home or own a car, you know, was able to get health care.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: So those things, having those things made people back then, for them, that was like a form of success, right?
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: Some people couldn't even own homes, right?
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: So owning a home was success, but nobody, nobody in the family probably graduated college, so they push, push you to go to college, right?
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: So having that degree was a form of success for them, right?
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe they grew up without money.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: Earning six figures became success.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: And don't get me wrong, those were not bad goals at all, and they're still not bad goals, but you eventually have to ask yourself, what does success mean for the life I'm actually living?
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: What does that look like?
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: What does success look like?
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: And here's something else that I don't feel we talk about enough.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: Your definition of success, it's it can change.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: You are allowed to change, right?
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: I can tell y'all when I was in college, your girl probably changed two or three times.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: I originally wanted to be um an attorney, right?
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: Then I thought about all the reasons why I couldn't be an attorney.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: Then I was like, oh, I want to be a martianist.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: Then I said, oh, I want to be an architect.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: Then I said, oh, I want to be a contractor.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: So look, it all changes.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: So what I'm telling you is it's okay if those things change.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: It's okay if you have a change of heart.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: What success looks like to you at the age of 18, 25, it it's it may be totally different when you get to the age 30, 45.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: Because at some point, success may have been, I want to make more money, I want to be able to travel.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: But if you want to make more money, then make more money.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: You gotta figure out how to do it.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: But your sus your suddenly success will eventually become, I want more time.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: Because at one point, success might have been, I want everybody to know my name.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: Then everybody starts calling your name or calling your phone and selling you saying, Lord, can I please have some peace?
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: Can I have a break?
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I'm I may get a little off here, but I'm laughing because I I remember saying, God, I'm I need this, I need this, I need that, and God begin to bless, right?
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: Then I'm like, my Lord, this is so much.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: But I forgot to ask God for the capacity to handle all the things that I wanted.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: At one stage, you may want the biggest business possible, and at another stage in your life, you may want the most profitable business possible, right?
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: Those are not necessarily the same thing.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: At one stage, you may want to prove, you know, that, hey, I can do this, right?
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: And at another stage, you don't care who believes you can do it, you just want to enjoy the business that you've built.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: And y'all, that is that is a sign of growth.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: That shows that you have grown.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: You've grown as an individual, you've grown as a business leader.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: Because success can evolve because you evolve.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: But you have to be willing to change and evolve, right?
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: And adjust.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes the problem isn't that you know we are unsuccessful people, is we're still trying to measure our current life with the old definition of success that we used to have, right?
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, if you just think back to your upbringing and how you was raised and and what you was, what you thought success looked like.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: Nowadays, we feel like we gotta look like the people on social media, y'all.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: Social media changed the scoreboard, okay?
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: That's another problem that we have because today we don't just have our family's definition of what success like.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: We got everybody else's definitions right in our pockets, in our purses, and in our face all day long.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: You wake up, somebody bought a house, right?
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: Keep scrolling.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_00: Somebody bought a Mercedes, keep scrolling, somebody made a million dollars, then you're scrolling again, somebody in Dubai, Thailand, scrolling again, somebody just opened their fourth location, and you keep scrolling, somebody's children got straight A's, and and then celebrated 25 years of marriage, and somebody lost 40 pounds, and somebody bought, you know, an investment property, and before you even brush your teeth, you've already been given 15 reasons to question the life that you currently live.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_00: Before, y'all, that is something, that's something deep there.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: Before you even brush your teeth, so many people wake up and this the first thing they grab is their phone.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: When you wake up, you need to be thanking God that you even open your eyes this morning, right?
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: Before your feet hit the floor, Lord, I thank you.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: But we pick up this phone, right?
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: And we let it dictate our entire day.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: And here's what's dangerous about comparison when we're looking at social media.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: You can be perfectly content with the life until somebody shows you theirs.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I need you to think about that.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_00: Five minutes ago, you loved the house you lived in, right?
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: Then you saw somebody in a new kitchen.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: Now your countertops ain't good enough.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: Five minutes ago, you love that car.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: Then you see somebody with a newer model.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_00: Now your car paid off.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: You ain't got no car note.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: You love that car.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: Then you saw somebody with the newer model, and now you like questioning, oh, do I need a new car?
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: Or, you know, just different stuff.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: Five minutes ago, your business was doing just fine.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_00: Then somebody posted.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: They just had their biggest month ever.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: And now you question everything again.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: But here's what we forget.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: We forget.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: We are comparing our entire lives to somebody's else selected moments.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you can't do that.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: You don't know what that house cost them every month.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: You don't know.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: You don't know what that vehicle cost them every month.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: You don't know how much they paid for.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: You don't know the work behind what they did to get what they got.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: You don't know what's happening in another person's marriage.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_00: You don't know the sacrifices they had to make.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: You just don't know, right?
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: And that brings me to something important.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_00: Never envy a resort without understanding the price attached to it because everything costs something.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_00: Everything.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I need to talk about money, right?
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: Because guess what this is?
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: Life, finance, and real estate.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: But I want to ask you a question.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I need you to be truthful and honest.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: And you can ask yourself this question.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: Are you trying to build wealth or are you trying to are you financing the appearance of wealth?
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_00: So let me say it again.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: Because I I was trying to remember.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: Are you trying to build wealth, right?
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_00: Think about it.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: Are you trying to build something that will sustain?
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: Or are you financing the appearance of wealth?
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_00: Hmm.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_00: Let's stay right there for a minute.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_00: Because those are two completely different things.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: We have created visual symbols of success, right?
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_00: Let's give them again the house, the car, the clothes, vacations, the watches, the handbags.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: And listen, I like nice things too.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: Don't don't get me wrong.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_00: I can be a little bougie at times, as they say.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_00: There's nothing wrong with nice things, but the problem isn't having the nice things.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: The question is, what does having those things require from you?
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: Suppose somebody earns$150,000 a year, right?
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_00: Looks successful, beautiful house, nice vehicles, great vacations, but it takes$145,000 every year just to maintain their life.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_00: That's somebody then somebody who earns$80,000.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_00: They live on$55,000.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: They're saving, they're investing, they're building equity and creating reserves, and they have breeding room.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_00: Now tell me.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_00: Tell me who's actually the wealthier person.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_00: Let me repeat it.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_00: You see somebody with all the nice things and they make$150,000 a year.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: At the end of the day, it takes them$145,000 every year just to maintain.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_00: $150 minus$145 gives you what?
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_00: $150 minus$145.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_00: That leaves you with$5,000.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_00: Then you got the same person.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: No, not the same.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_00: You got another person earning$80,000 a year, but they live on$55,000.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_00: Do the math.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_00: And they're able to save, invest, build equity.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_00: Who's the most wealthier person?
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_00: Because let me tell you something.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: Social media can't show you that, right?
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_00: What doesn't always photograph well?
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_00: You can't take a glamorous picture of an emergency fund.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_00: You can't.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody, you can't, unless I mean you screenshot your um bank account.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody's standing beside their paid off credit card balance and saying, look at God.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_00: But maybe we should.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe that's something we need to normalize, like showing, okay, this me, this is what I'm doing, like truthfully.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_00: Because financial peace, y'all, that's a flex.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_00: That's a flex.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_00: That's a sense of peace that you just, boy, I tell you, that's a flex.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_00: Having options is a flex.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_00: Not not having to panic when something breaks.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_00: That's a flex.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_00: It is.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_00: Being able to walk away from something because you don't.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: Let me tell y'all something.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_00: It's a flex.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_00: There's times where I have to turn business down in a sense to where I feel like, you know, this ain't worth my peace.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_00: Or we ain't gonna be a good match.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_00: Being able to give is a flex.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_00: Being able to help children is a flex.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_00: To sleep at night without worrying, y'all, that's a real flex.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why I keep talking about sustainability.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_00: Making money is one skill, but keeping that money, that's another skill.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_00: And building that life where money works for you instead of requiring you to constantly work for it, that's another level altogether.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_00: Do you hear me?
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_00: Building life where your money works for you.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_00: Because I'm gonna tell y'all something.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_00: It's a struggle when you have to work for it all the time and you just nonstop.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_00: It's it weighs on you so heavy.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: We gotta learn to let that money work for us.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_00: What we call it, making money in my sleep.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_00: That's something real.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_00: So here's an exercise I want everybody listening to do.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_00: I want y'all to do this with me right now.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're sitting at home and listening at the replay or watching on YouTube, I want you to I want you to do this right now.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_00: What does my life cost?
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not only talking about dollars.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_00: What does your house cost you?
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_00: Your vehicles, the lifestyle you like, eating out, what does your business cost?
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_00: Commitments.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_00: And then I want you to think a little deeper, right?
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you have to work 70 hours every week to maintain everything you accumulated, I want you to ask yourself this is this the life I wanted?
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_00: Or am I working for the life that I built?
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: That's a very different question, right?
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes we increase our income and immediately increase our lifestyle.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I am one guilty person.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_00: I can say that I have done that, right?
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_00: I get more money, and I feel like, oh, I got a little raise.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_00: We can go get a new vehicle.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, used to do it all the time, right?
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_00: Then you gotta continue to produce at the level just to survive, just to sustain, y'all.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_00: So technically we make more, but we don't necessarily have more freedom because we're not prioritizing.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe success isn't how much I can afford, y'all.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_00: It's how much freedom I can create.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_00: Come on, somebody.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_00: How much freedom can I create?
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_00: I see this all the time, right, in real estate.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_00: People say, I want my dream house.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a realist, right?
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_00: I tell my clients, hey, when we're working together, let's I'm gonna be honest with you, we're gonna talk about it.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_00: What makes it your dream home?
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_00: Is it because you need five bedrooms?
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_00: Or because five bedrooms sound successful?
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_00: Do you really need 4,000 square feet?
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_00: Do you really have to have that pool?
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_00: Do you want acreage?
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_00: Do you do you want that neighborhood?
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_00: Because somewhere along the way, did somebody, I have to ask them, did somebody convince you that you're reaching a certain level if you stay at a certain place?
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_00: You had to have a certain house to look a certain way.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_00: Because this is what I often tell people your first house is not gonna be your last house.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_00: You look at that first house as an investment, a piece of your investment portfolio, something you can turn into a rental, you know, something that you can profit.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_00: This, let me let me give y'all an example.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_00: And this here is where finance matters because let's say a lender qualifies you for$450,000, right?
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_00: And qualifying you for$450,000 don't mean you need to go spend$450,000.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_00: I typically ask my clients, what can you afford to pay comfortably to where you're comfortable, right?
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_00: What else do you want to do after you buy your house?
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_00: Do you want to continue to travel?
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_00: Do you want to invest?
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_00: Are you planning to open a business?
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_00: Are you planning to open up a property, have more children, help children, retire early?
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_00: Tell me, tell me what your goals are.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_00: Because you I always want them to have enough margin that if an unexpected repair comes, it's not a major emergency, right?
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_00: It's like you you thinking, okay, this may come.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_00: I got this stashed away.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody wants to spend their money, right?
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_00: Then if you can answer those questions and respond, right?
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have you're gonna realize you don't have to spend$450,000.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe your dream home is the home that allows you to still live your dream life, right?
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_00: I think we got it all backwards.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_00: Your dream home will still allow you to live your dream life, right?
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_00: And that's a difference.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_00: I wish more people thought about real estate that way because buying a home shouldn't just be how much house can I get.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_00: It should also be how does this house fit into my life I'm trying to build.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: Now we're talking about sustainability, right?
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_00: Now let's talk about another type of success.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_00: The success nobody applied.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm going to tell y'all, peace has been heavy on me this year.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_00: Having peace, being present with your family, having dinner, being able to attend your child's games, being able to take your parents somewhere, or just visit your parents, being able to take a day off without your entire business collapsing, being healthy enough to enjoy what you built, right?
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_00: Having relationships, and let me be very clear.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not 100% there yet.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_00: And notice I said yet, because I'm working on it.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_00: There's things I just said that I don't have full control over yet, but I'm working on it.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_00: Having relationships that aren't based on what you can do for somebody.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_00: That's a sense of peace.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_00: Being able to sit quietly and not feel guilty because you're not working or not feeling guilty because you're not picking up the phone.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_00: Those things don't always come with trophies, y'all.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody, nobody posts those type things.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody gives you an award for them.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_00: But I need you to tell me something.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_00: What good is building a successful life if you're never available to live it, allowed to live it?
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_00: What good is it?
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_00: That's the part I think we missed.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_00: That's the part I missed for a very long time in my life.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_00: What good is it?
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_00: What good is it if you can't enjoy it?
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_00: We spend so much time preparing for someday, right?
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_00: One day.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_00: Someday, one day.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_00: Someday when I make enough.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_00: Someday when the business grows.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_00: Someday when the kids get older.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_00: Someday when I get them, some, someday when I pay this off.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_00: Some, someday, one day.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_00: Then I enjoy life.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_00: But life isn't waiting on someday or one day.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_00: Life is happening while you're building it.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_00: And for me, I can't talk about success without talking about faith.
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_00: Because another question that goes beyond that is what do I want?
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_00: And that's, y'all.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_00: God, what did you call me to do?
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_00: Because sometimes what looks successful to the world has absolutely nothing to do with your assignment.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_00: Do you hear me?
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_00: Because my Bible tells me, for what shall profit a man?
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_00: If he what?
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_00: If he should gain the whole world and lose his soul, y'all, that is a powerful.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I mean that's a powerful question.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_00: Gain everything and lose yourself.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_00: You can gain the title, right?
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_00: Gain the title, lose your peace.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_00: Gain the money, lose your family.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_00: Gain the followers, you lose your identity.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_00: Gain the business, you lose your health.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_00: Come on, think about it.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_00: Think about people.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_00: Think about it.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_00: Gain everybody else's approving.
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_00: You forget who you actually are.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_00: What did you really gain at that point?
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe, maybe having success isn't simply accumulation.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's success, it's just alignment, right?
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_00: Being where you're supposed to be, doing what you're supposed to do, serving who you're supposed to serve, building what you're supposed to build, and having the wisdom to know when enough is enough.
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_00: Enough is enough.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_00: And when you start thinking about the legacy, when you start thinking about the legacy, the questions begin to change.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like what kind of legacy you want to leave?
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of asking what can you know I acquire, you start asking, what I'm gonna leave?
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_00: What would I leave my kids?
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_00: A bunch of debt, a bunch of bills, some of them have to sell, they're gonna have to sell just to pay it off.
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_00: So that you know, like think about this stuff.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not talking about money.
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_00: What are your children learning about watching you or listening to you?
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_00: Are they learning how to make money?
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_00: If they are, great.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_00: Are they learning how to manage it?
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_00: Are they learning how to to rest?
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_00: How to give, how to treat people?
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_00: Because I promise y'all, and y'all know, kids watch and they listen at everything, right?
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_00: Are they learning that success requires sacrificing every relationship around them?
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_00: Are they learning that ambition and present can coexist?
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_00: Because inheritance is what you leave to somebody.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_00: Legacy is what you leave in somebody.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_00: And it's a big difference.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_00: You can leave somebody a house, right?
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_00: You can leave them a house, you can leave them money, you can leave them land.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_00: But what did you put in them while you were here?
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_00: What did you instill in them?
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_00: These are questions you gotta think about.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_00: I oftentimes challenge my children a lot because I don't just want them to see, you know, mommy being successful and just working her butt off, right?
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_00: But not understanding why she's doing it.
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_00: Not teaching them how to be successful and responsible and take accountability.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_00: That these, I mean, y'all, I just need y'all to think.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_00: I just need y'all to think.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_00: I want to challenge y'all this week.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_00: I want to challenge y'all.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to, I don't want you to make another goal.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want you to add anything else to your vision board.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to do something totally different.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to sit down somewhere very quiet, right?
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_00: Uninterrupted time.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to sit there and I want you to write questions down.
• 27:35
  SPEAKER_00: What does success look like to me right now?
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_00: Not five years ago, not what your parents wanted, not what Facebook shows you or the industry says, What do I actually want?
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_00: And answer them very truthfully.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_00: Then ask, what am I currently paying to maintain the life that I've built?
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_00: Money, time, energy, relationships, peace.
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_00: Then what am I chasing simply because I think I'm supposed to want it?
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_00: What am I chasing because I think I'm supposed to want it?
• 28:19
  SPEAKER_00: And finally, if nobody ever applies for me, would I still want it?
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_00: That's the question.
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_00: If no if nobody knew, would you still buy it?
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_00: Would you still pursue it or build it or want the title or want the business, the house, all the things, the lifestyle, would you still want it?
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_00: Because the answer may tell you whether you're building a life.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_00: Or it can reveal whether you're performing somebody else's definition of success.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_00: Are you performing?
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_00: I want to leave you with this today.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_00: Success doesn't have to look the same for everybody.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_00: For one person, success may be building a hundred million dollar company, but for somebody else, it may be making enough money to work four days a week and never miss their child's game.
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_00: One person may want a 10,000 square foot house.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_00: Whew, Jesus, that's a lot of cleaning.
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_00: And another person may want a 1,500 square foot house that's paid for.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_00: Some people want to build empires and all the things, right?
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_00: And another person just wants a quiet life with financial freedom.
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_00: And neither one of those automatically makes one person more successful than the other.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_00: I need you to, I need you to like embed that because they're all goals and it's a form of success for that person.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_00: But the real question is, did you choose the life that you are building?
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_00: Did you, why are you choose that life?
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_00: And does your life you're building align with who you are, what you value, and where God is calling you?
• 29:59
  SPEAKER_00: Because you don't want to spend your whole life climbing, right?
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_00: Only to reach the top and realize you climb somebody else's ladder.
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_00: So before you chase another goal, before you buy anything else, and before you add another zero, before you accept any other opportunities, I need you to ask yourself, who taught me what success looks like?
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_00: And then give yourself permission to decide what success looks like for you now.
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_00: Because real success isn't just about what you can earn.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's about what.
• 30:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's about what you can sustain.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_00: And y'all know what I always say.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_00: I don't just teach you how to what?
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_00: Earn it.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_00: I teach you how to sustain it.
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_00: Listen, guys, this has been Life Finance and Real Estate with your girl Kirby, the realtor.
• 30:50
  SPEAKER_00: And we're not just buying houses, we're not just making money.
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_00: We're talking about owning a piece of America and building a life worth owning.
• 30:58
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time, people first, integrity always.
• 31:01
  SPEAKER_00: And remember, don't spend your whole life trying to look successful.
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_00: Build a life that actually feels successful when nobody's watching.
• 31:13
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time, bye for now.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_00: See you soon.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you for tuning in to Life, Finance, and Real Estate with Kirby the Realtor.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_03: You can catch us every Thursday at 12 p.m.
• 31:27
  SPEAKER_03: on 92.1 WJMG, 93.1 WGDQ.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_03: And also you can listen live at 921 WJMG.com or 931 WGDQ.com.
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_03: If you happen to miss the live recording, don't fret.
• 31:41
  SPEAKER_03: We'll replay it at 6 p.m.
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_03: tonight.
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you once again for listening to Life, Finance, and Real.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_02: Let me tell you about it.