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McDaniel Interview-2 · Brewing Better Marriages

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_03: I've been looking for child.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_03: Been looking for a truth.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_03: I guess I've been looking for you.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_03: I guess I've been looking for you.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Brewing Better Marriages from T South Dakota with Philip and Debbie Sanders.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: If these podcasts have been a help to you, pass it on to others.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: Let us know with an email, and also include any questions that you might have on the subjects that we cover.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: Again, today it's so good to have Brother Sean and Sister Retha McDaniel with us.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: Last podcast, we talked to them about the introduction of their life, how they was raised, um, when they got saved, about their uh somewhat about their parents, and um also just about the future of every child's life that is in the hands of parents.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: And uh it's been a pretty good podcast, wasn't it, Deb?
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, it has.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_01: Very interesting.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: Very interesting.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: I've enjoyed it and enjoyed them.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, if you don't know it, the brother and sister uh McDaniel is helping us here in the church in Tea for a few months.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: And um that today we're going to deal more with how they met and um the Romance that took place uh when that all happened and what led up to you.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: Because I think I think the story that they have to tell could possibly help some people.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um not that are later in life in marriage or but it's just how that God will order your steps.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to get in a hurry to find that man or to find that woman.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: God will lead you.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, brother Sean, enough of me.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: Now you're in here and we've talked about uh your your raising and things like that.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: Now we're gonna pick up where we left off after uh I think after you did some missions trips and some things like that.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: So go ahead.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: Jump in here when you feel like you want to.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_06: About when we met and how we met.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_06: We were we were both older uh when we met.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_06: I was uh thirty-seven and she was thirty-six, and uh we met through uh you were seven.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: Thirty-seven.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: Thirty-seven.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I just caught the seven.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sorry, you know.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_06: Yes.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_06: And uh like you said, it's you know, God ordering our steps, and and uh Retha alluded to that in the uh previous podcast, uh how uh when she'd already been through Figby uh three years, and then she felt the Lord leading her to go to OBI and do the fourth year there uh nine years later, and she did that, and then they asked her to stay and to teach uh in the Christian school, OCA.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_06: And while she was there teaching in the Christian school, uh my pastor's granddaughter, uh Emily uh Gaines, that then is Emily Jordan now, she uh went through OBI and she met uh Retha, and they weren't close, you know, but she met her and and knew her, and and and she had been back home in Idabel for, I'm guessing, a year or two.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_06: And uh one day uh she uh was friends with one of Retha's cousins, and she texted Retha's uh cousin about me and said there's a older uh guy here in my uh uncle's church.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_06: Her uncle was a pastor then, brother Schaefer had retired, and uh that's how it all started, and I'll let her kind of uh uh set uh talk a little bit about uh that uh first uh message or that text message.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_05: So I felt like the Lord had placed in my mind 36, like I don't know how many years it had been, but as though, you know, that's when God would start moving for me and bring the right one into my life.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_05: And it happened on my 36th birthday.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: Interrupt you just a minute here.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know that I ever heard the Lord tell me an age or I just wanted to get married.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, well I did too, but it didn't happen when I was younger like I wanted it.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: Go ahead now.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_05: But anyway, um, so I was depressed on that day because I was 36, not married, and um, so I went to work and um I don't know if Emily knew that I was working with Jade that day.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_05: I don't she may not have.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_05: I talked to her uh and she said she didn't really remember.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_05: But um anyway, Jade and I was working together at the bakery.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_05: Um, and both of our aunts had a restaurant, like I said before, and you were back at your home.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_05: Yes, back in Indiana.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_05: And so we were working side by side right there in the bakery, and that text came through from Emily and uh wanted to know, you know, she was explaining, you know, about Sean, I guess probably being older, and she knew I was older.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_05: And so anyway, Jade told me, she said, Well, what are you doing after work?
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_05: And I said, Nothing.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_05: She said, Well, let's go over to Crystal's house, which was her sister, and they wanted to look Sean up on Bebo.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_05: So Bebo was the time.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_05: What did the text say?
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_05: I don't know what the text said, but it was just something about she was obviously wanting to get Sean and I together, you know, or being in that instrument, you know, to God could use, you know, to get this was on your 36th birthday.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_05: And so and so then um so we checked him out on Bebo.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_05: We found him on there.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: And and then uh So you're a Bebo husband.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, that was the back in the day.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_06: That was this was before Facebook was uh even invented.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_06: It was before Facebook was even invented, I think, or very early stages of Facebook, and so Bebo was the thing.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_06: And so they they found me on Bebo, and uh it's funny the the picture, the one picture I had, uh there's a local lake there where I live, and we were out at there and and I was in an inner tube in the lake, and of course, when you're in the water, your shirt gets bigger and bigger, and so that's that's one of the first pictures she saw.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_05: I probably thought this guy's a little big.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_05: But anyway, so um then after that, um I had gone to um camp in Iowa at Brother Hill's church, and it took our our a group from my dad's church.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_05: I was counselor there.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_05: And so uh he emailed me for the first time while I was there, and so my cousin, Crystal, she said she texted me, she said, uh, you need to check your email.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_05: And she knew had Sean had emailed because she had there was other people talking to her while all these people were just trying to get us together.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_05: And so anyway, um I said, Well, I can't.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_05: I'm at camp.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_05: And so anyway, I didn't have a computer or anything.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_05: And so anyway, um I went back home and I in my mind I probably thought when I got home, I think it was like a Friday night when I got home.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_05: And in my mind I probably thought, what's the use?
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_05: You know, nothing ever works out.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_05: Anyway, I excuse me.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_05: I um Saturday morning.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_05: I emailed him back and he was um not thinking that I was interested because I didn't email right away.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_06: Uh so as she said, or as I said, uh Emily had texted uh Retha's cousin, and there were two uh couples that were working in my church that had been to OBI uh and had met Retha, and so they started talking to me about Retha.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_06: And uh then uh Retha's cousin, you know, started talking to her about me, and so uh they gave her me her email address, and so I uh sent her an email, and as she said, you know, she was away at camp, and so it had been about a week and she hadn't responded.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_06: Do you remember what that email was?
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_06: No, I don't.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_06: Oh, I wish I could read these things.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_06: We um uh sister uh April Shearer was one of the uh people that knew her.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_06: So one day she asked, Well, how's that going?
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_06: I said, Well, I emailed her uh a few days ago and I haven't heard anything.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_06: She said, Well, let me check on that.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_06: And so she called uh Crystal, uh Retha's cousin, and and Reth and Crystal called Retha and said, Hey, you need to check your email.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_06: And of course, this was back before smartphones, and and uh so it was you know a few days before she got back, but she she emailed me back after she got back, and and we emailed back and forth for probably about a month.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_06: And the hearts flew.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_05: Well, I could I really um I could tell that he had a good personality.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_05: That's what really like attracted me, I guess, to him.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_05: Um, that he had a great personality.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_05: He was funny in his email, emails, and um just in plus the fact that we had both done mission trips, you know, single and didn't know each other, you know, short-term stuff.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_05: And so then uh one day he called me for the first time.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_05: Well, my cousin Crystal, where we had gone, you know, to check him out on Bebo, I was at her house and I was in the bathroom, and she did not have a doorknob on her bathroom because her child at the time had locked himself in the bathroom, and so she took it off.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_05: So I was stuck in the bathroom when he called me for the first time.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_05: So she unlocked, so got the door open, and I got out there, and as for what I remember, I think Rihanna or um Crystal pushed Sin to like, you know, we're gonna call him back, basically.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_05: And so we were on the phone for about 20 minutes.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_05: Oh my word, I could tell he had an accent.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_05: I thought, man, this is something you know that's what they ask me up here in South Dakota.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: We have about two sentences, and they'll stop me and say, Where are you from?
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: You don't talk like us.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: So culture has a real impact in our life.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: But go ahead.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_05: So anyway, uh we talked and um then from then on it just was our our first phone call was about 20 minutes, and then our second one was about two hours.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_05: Oh and then one Saturday we talked for about eleven hours on and off.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_04: Oh my goodness.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_05: And so we fell in love over the phone and we started making our wedding plans over the phone without even seeing each other.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_06: In person.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_06: We didn't we had not met in person with the phone.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_06: Just pictures.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_06: This this big guy, big guy from the lake.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, right.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_06: But you know, I I I'll tell people, you know, we were older, 36, 30, uh, 38.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_06: I was 38 by the time we got married.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_06: Uh, you know, I wouldn't recommend this to an 18-year-old.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_06: You know, we we uh were older, we were both, you know, involved in church, we both had uh mutual friends that knew each other, and and and it's not like it was uh an internet uh it started in July and um we got married January 1st.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_05: Oh wow.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_05: So that's a cool story.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_05: So I went to pick him up at the airport.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_06: I flew out for Labor Day or Memorial, no Labor Day in September.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_06: That was the first time we met in person.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_06: I had a long weekend and I flew out and uh she came and picked me up at the airport.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, now we're gonna stop here because I want to ask a couple questions.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: One is what were the first thoughts when you saw her?
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_06: I I don't remember, you know, the exact thoughts, but you know, I I had you know seen pictures and and you know, I was I was a you know, she was beautiful and and I liked her personality and and the the background, you know, and missions and and the church, you know, and so when uh when I saw her, it was you know Yeah.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_06: She's Theresa.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_05: Well um well when I met him at the airport, I mean we just something just clicked.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_05: And I mean, we just I don't know.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_05: I mean, you just my dad, I guess, had told me before, you'll know that you know.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_05: And I just knew that, you know, I guess at that airport.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_05: I mean, it's just it we just felt comfortable with each other.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_05: I mean, because talking on the phone all those months, I mean, not months, but I mean weeks.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_05: And it just happened, you know.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_05: I mean, just it was God's will.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_05: God's timing.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: Wow, what a story.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: Man.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_05: Um Well, to back up, uh, when when I went to go pick him up at the airport, um, that night he I mean, this is how fast it went.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_05: That night he asked my dad if he could marry me, and the next day he proposed.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_05: So it's like we saw each other physically for twenty-four hours.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: So awesome.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's so awesome.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: It's almost sounds like was it uh Jacob and and Isaac and Rebecca.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: Isaac and Rebecca, yeah, Isaac and Rebecca.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: And how that uh, you know, uh, you know, she lit off the camel.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_00: And he said, What you're you're everything I've ever wanted, and everything basically, everything I've ever desired.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_00: And this is what happens when it's God's will.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: We don't have to make it work, right?
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: It will work.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_01: We don't have to chase everything that has pants on, right?
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_01: You know, and say, Oh, maybe he's the one, maybe he's the one, you know, and you know act crazy.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_06: I I've you know, there were I didn't date a whole lot, but there were those in and before I met Rita, you know, that I was older and and God spoke to me and said, you know, this is not the one, and and that was hard, you know, being older.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_06: And uh but I'm so thankful that I didn't override that and that yet that God had his his will was, you know, I could have overridden that and and messed up.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_06: Let your flesh dictate you, or even other advisors dictate you.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_06: Right.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_06: I had, you know, different ones, you know, well, you know, date someone that's you know not of the same uh you know denomination or not of the same standards, you know.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_06: And I'm so thankful that I I I didn't do that.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_06: I didn't want that, you know, and I'm thankful that I waited.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_06: You know, it's you know, I'm thankful for the wife that God has given to me, and is and you know, we'll get more into it, you know, in the ministry later on another podcast probably, but so she's such an asset, you know, to the ministry, and I'm thankful for blessings.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_05: And same way with me, you know, um, I was in a relationship one time and I felt God deal with with me.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_05: I mean, in my spirit, I just constantly.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_05: And um, and when you know, if you're out there and you're in a relationship and you feel God dealing with you, you need to give it up.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_05: Amen.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_05: Because if you continue in that, you have no idea what the future holds, only God does.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_00: One person said it's better to want something you don't have than to have something you don't want.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_00: And that's the way it is in following the will of God.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, listen, it's been good.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, man, these stories are phenomenal.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so glad they're here.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_00: We're able to talk about this.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_00: And um, if you want to hear more, you can download our podcast off our website, and that is sanders-ministries.org.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_00: Sanders-ministries.org.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_02: And be sure and email at sandersministries gmail at gmail.com with any questions or comments you might have.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_00: Well, once again, we want to say thank you.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_00: Please let us know how these have been a blessing to you.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: And until next time, God bless you.