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S3E7 - Parent Companion for Play Therapy: How Symbolic and Thematic Play Reveal What Children Are Working Through (and Why Parents Should Understand It) · Play Therapy Parenting: Real Parenting Questions Answered by a Child Therapist

• 0:02
  You're listening to the
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  Play Therapy Parenting Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks.
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  Hi,
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  I'm Dr. Brenna Hicks,
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  The Kid Counselor.
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  This is the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast where I give you insight,
• 0:15
  awareness,
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  and enlightenment about your parenting and your relationship with your kids.
• 0:19
  In today's episode,
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  we are continuing the Parent Companion series,
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  and I'd like to spend a little bit of time today talking about
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  symbolic play
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  and thematic play in sessions.
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  So we've kind of been walking through the process leading up to this episode.
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  So that if you're exploring CCPT for your child
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  and or you're already working with a therapist.
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  You will have a sense of what goes on
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  in,
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  in play.
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  And if you're not and you're just a parent that
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  really appreciates the value of having structure in your parenting,
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  child-centered play therapy provides that for you.
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  And I challenge all of you,
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  whether you're working with a therapist or not or considering it.
• 1:01
  Pay attention to how your children play,
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  and this episode will make a lot of sense to you,
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  because we know that children's natural way of
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  processing the world is through their play.
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  We know that children will naturally work through
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  things in their life through their play.
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  They're not rational,
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  they're not verbal,
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  they're not cognitive,
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  so they're going to feel and experience their way
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  through what they need to sort out,
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  and they will do that through their play.
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  You will see it if you pay attention.
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  And so,
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  what goes on in the playroom,
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  in addition to
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  all the things we've already talked about in season 3.
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  One of the things that the therapist is looking for is symbolic play
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  and or thematic play.
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  So let me make sense of what each of those are.
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  Symbolic play
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  is when a child
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  is playing something and it is clear.
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  That it is meaningful to them.
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  It is based on something in their life.
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  It is based on an issue,
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  it is based on a root concern.
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  It is based on something that they've experienced
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  and they are playing it out.
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  Because sometimes a kid comes in
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  and just
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  grabs a fidget toy and spins it on their finger for 30 seconds.
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  That's not necessarily symbolic.
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  But if a child comes in
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  and
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  recreates
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  A traumatic event such as a hurricane or a tornado or a flood or a fire,
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  and they've gone through a natural disaster
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  and they play that out
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  it's symbolic.
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  So not all play is symbolic,
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  but we are trained as child-centered play therapists
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  to note when a child is playing something out in the playroom
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  that is symbolic of something.
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  So that's one of the things that we are looking for.
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  We document that as we go through sessions and then we're able to
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  share those types of things with you when we meet with you.
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  Symbolic play is usually very powerful,
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  very deep,
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  and I wanna be really clear,
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  because kids are not cognitive or rational,
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  it is coming from their unconscious.
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  In other words,
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  they are not cognitively choosing.
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  I really was scared during that last thunderstorm,
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  so I'm going to play out being in a storm.
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  They're not thinking their way through this.
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  The unconscious
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  is pushing them in this direction of their play.
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  And they will go there,
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  but there's no cognitive thought to it.
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  It's experiential.
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  So,
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  another component of play is that sometimes it is thematic.
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  So often symbolic play becomes
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  thematic play.
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  Let me tell you what that means.
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  When we see a theme,
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  It is something that is repetitive in play.
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  In other words,
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  in the same session multiple times.
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  The same play emerges or across multiple sessions,
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  the same play emerges.
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  So if a child comes in on session 4.
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  And plays out
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  fear facing play.
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  They're purposefully doing things that are a little bit scary to them.
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  So that they can prove that they're capable of facing their fears.
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  If they do that several times in a session.
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  That becomes thematic.
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  It was symbolic the first time it happened.
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  Because if a child has anxiety or worry or fear
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  and they put themselves in a position in the
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  playroom where they're facing those worries and fears,
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  that's symbolic play if it's just a one time thing.
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  If it happens multiple times within a session,
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  it becomes a theme.
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  If it happens across multiple sessions,
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  it becomes a theme.
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  So then as therapists,
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  we're able to determine that
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  that is thematic play.
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  That's also something we document,
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  that's something that we share with you when we meet with you.
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  And here's what's going on for a child.
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  They will often
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  rewrite their
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  story.
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  In other words,
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  what happened in their actual experience and in the real world,
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  they didn't like how it ended.
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  They didn't like how upset it made them,
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  they didn't like how scared it made them,
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  they didn't like how confused it made them,
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  they didn't like how devastated it made them.
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  So through their play.
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  Symbolically and thematically,
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  they will change the ending.
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  Now,
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  does it change the ending in the real world?
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  No,
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  but it changes the ending in their play,
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  and they're able to have a different kind of closure to that incident.
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  If you can't close out,
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  remember,
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  adults have the luxury
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  of thinking their way through something.
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  So when we go through an event or an experience that we don't like how it ended,
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  we will think our way through it until we can largely let it go.
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  A child does not have that capability,
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  so they have to play out
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  the scenario
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  and then they're able to rewrite the ending or change their narrative in their play.
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  It doesn't change what actually happened,
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  of course,
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  just like us thinking our way through something
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  we didn't like doesn't change what actually happened,
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  but we walk away with a different conclusion.
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  Same thing for kids,
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  so they will rewrite their story in their play.
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  They will desensitize themselves
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  by symbolically and thematically and repetitively playing out the
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  same thing over and over and over again.
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  It loses all of the charge,
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  it loses all of the emotion,
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  it loses all of the fear
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  or worry or overwhelm.
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  They basically are exposing themselves to it over and over and over again
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  so that it no longer feels as big.
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  And along the way,
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  they're developing problem solving skills,
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  they're developing coping,
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  they're developing resilience.
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  So not only does it become less emotional and less overwhelming,
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  they feel more equipped to handle scenarios like that.
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  So that's another reason why kids will repetitively play things out,
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  and often they will change
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  something in the play.
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  That gives them more power and control
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  over the circumstances.
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  So in the real world,
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  they felt powerless.
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  In the real world,
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  they had no control
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  to do anything about what happened.
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  If they were in a car accident,
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  they had no control over that,
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  and they were powerless.
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  But if they repetitively play out.
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  A car accident
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  They can be the doctor
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  that makes sure that everyone's OK.
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  They can be the
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  EMT
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  that shows up and takes them to the hospital
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  and the ambulance so that they can get help.
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  They can create a scenario where the car
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  doesn't actually get in a bad accident,
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  it just gets in a little fender bender.
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  And now all of a sudden,
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  they have the ability to change something.
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  They give themselves a different role,
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  they give themselves more power and control through their play.
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  And then they feel more confident to handle scenarios like that.
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  So these are the types of things that a child-centered
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  play therapist is on the lookout for in a session.
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  And we also along the way,
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  are looking for changes within
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  symbolic play and or thematic play.
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  In other words,
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  if a child plays out power and control
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  for 8 weeks straight.
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  And then all of a sudden,
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  there's no power and control play on the 9th session.
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  We know that theme has largely been addressed.
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  In other words,
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  a child is going to continue to bring up the same thing
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  over and over and over again while they're working on it.
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  Similarly,
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  adults are going to talk about something over and over and over again
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  until they've largely worked through it.
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  You don't need to keep talking about something if you've resolved it in your head.
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  You don't need to keep playing something out
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  if you've resolved it in your experience.
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  So kids will consistently play the same thing over and over and over again
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  until all of a sudden they don't,
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  and those are things that we're looking for because when they
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  no longer are involving that theme in their play.
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  We know that they largely or mostly have resolved that issue.
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  Another thing we're looking for is if the theme hasn't resolved yet,
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  or if we're continuing to see that kind of play,
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  we're looking for shifts
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  within that theme.
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  So what will often happen is the child will come in and they will
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  play out power and control week after week after week and usually early on,
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  they play out that they have all the power.
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  They are 100% in control,
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  authoritarian dictatorial power.
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  I have all of it.
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  You have none of it.
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  Everyone just has to do what I say.
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  Why?
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  Because they have felt powerless in the real world,
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  so they're gonna take all the power they can get in the playroom.
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  It's a pendulum swing.
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  When the pendulum gets stuck on one side,
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  the child perceives that they've had no power.
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  Pendulum stuck on one end.
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  So they're gonna shift it to the other side because in a child's mind.
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  If I have none,
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  I have to have all.
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  Kids are very black and white because they don't have abstract reasoning.
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  So if I feel that I have no power,
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  the only way to fix that is to have all the power.
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  So they come in the playroom
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  and they take all the power.
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  And so week after week after week,
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  they are in a position of power
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  and then maybe session 6,
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  maybe session 8,
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  maybe session 10.
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  The child might do or say something like.
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  Well,
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  here you get
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  to be in charge of the people in jail today,
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  and they hand you the keys to the jail.
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  They've given up some of the power and control.
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  And a trained child-centered play therapist notices that
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  and says,
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  oh,
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  OK,
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  that's a very important shift.
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  Why?
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  Because the child is getting out of the other end of the spectrum of the pendulum
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  and starting to come back toward balance center.
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  That's where children always need to eventually end up.
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  Either end of the spectrum is not healthy.
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  You can't have none of the power,
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  you can't have all the power.
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  You need to find balance.
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  So when a child starts to give up some of the power,
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  starts to give up some of the control in their play.
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  That's when you know the child is starting to work through that
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  and you,
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  and they realize,
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  and we can see.
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  They no longer need to be
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  on the other side of that pendulum.
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  So we're always looking for shifts
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  and or the ending of play,
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  because those are noteworthy in a session.
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  And these are all things that we discussed with you in the five-week meeting.
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  So we share with you,
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  big picture,
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  obviously,
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  to protect your child's confidentiality,
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  we're not going to give you specific details.
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  But you don't need the details
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  to get updates about what's happening in the session.
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  And so we're able to share with you
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  what symbolic play is taking place,
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  what thematic play is taking place,
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  what shifts are taking place within those themes,
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  what themes have wrapped up,
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  and almost always when one theme ends,
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  a new one takes its place.
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  So as we stop one theme,
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  usually a new one emerges,
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  we're able to make you aware of that.
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  And all along the way,
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  the
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  therapist is watching the child
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  play through
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  what they need to
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  to become a better version of themselves.
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  So that is how symbolic play and thematic play emerges in a playroom.
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  Let me share a really quick story just so that this will illustrate this point.
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  I was working with a 2.5 year old,
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  and that's a smidge young for child-centered play therapy.
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  Usually we say 3 and up is kind of the,
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  the sweet spot,
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  but I worked with this 2.5 year old.
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  And when she was an infant,
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  I think 6 or 7 months old,
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  she had a really harrowing medical crisis,
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  was hospitalized for a really long time,
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  and it,
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  it was a pretty severe
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  medical scenario for her,
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  but she was 6 or 7 months old
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  and
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  It's interesting,
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  many parents think that
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  children have no recollection of what happens that young.
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  They don't have long term cognitive memories,
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  but they have anchored memories in the body.
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  And so
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  the little girl comes in at 2 1/2,
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  she might have been almost 3,
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  maybe 2 3/4.
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  And after we'd been working together for a while,
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  she takes
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  my light poles,
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  so I have miniatures that go on the sand,
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  so tiny little light poles,
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  light posts,
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  if you will.
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  She takes that,
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  she takes my Christmas tree,
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  sorry,
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  my Christmas light strings.
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  So I have fake Christmas lights
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  on a string that you could put on trees or houses or whatever.
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  So she takes the lamp post
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  and the string of Christmas lights
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  and she ties it around the top and she drapes it
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  and then she gets a bed.
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  And she puts it,
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  and then she puts a
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  character in the bed,
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  and she puts the lamppost next to the bed
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  and she strings the Christmas lights next to it,
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  and then she has a witch figure come in.
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  And I'm watching all of this unfold,
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  and a child-centered play therapist's job is not to analyze,
• 14:32
  it's not to
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  figure out what the play means,
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  but we're very attuned to the symbolism,
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  we're very attuned to the themes,
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  and sometimes it's easy to connect with what the child's playing,
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  sometimes it's really difficult for us to connect,
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  but it's always meaningful.
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  So she's playing out
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  figure in a bed,
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  witch standing next to the bed,
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  lamp post with the Christmas lights strung up.
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  And
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  I'm watching this and I,
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  it all of a sudden hits me.
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  I think this is.
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  In the hospital bed and I think that's an IV tower
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  and I think that's the IV line.
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  And I don't know who the witch is,
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  but I'm pretty sure that this is medical in nature.
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  So symbolic play,
• 15:18
  medical in nature,
• 15:20
  working through experiences.
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  So when I met,
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  and she did this multiple weeks in a row.
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  And so when I met with mom and dad for the next 5 week consult.
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  I said,
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  I'm pretty sure that she's been playing out some
• 15:32
  of the medical experiences that she's gone through.
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  I'm curious,
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  was there any
• 15:38
  figure or person involved during that stretch of time when she was hospitalized
• 15:44
  that
• 15:45
  there were like really negative feelings about like someone
• 15:48
  that would have been perceived as mean or cruel
• 15:50
  or anything,
• 15:51
  and mom and dad looked at each other and both said,
• 15:53
  oh,
• 15:54
  that nurse.
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  The witch
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  was the nurse for this little girl.
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  Because this nurse,
• 16:02
  mom,
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  dad,
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  everyone reported how awful she was.
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  She was rough,
• 16:06
  she was mean,
• 16:07
  she was crass,
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  she was insensitive.
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  She,
• 16:10
  it,
• 16:10
  it like it was just a bad experience.
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  And she represented that nurse as a witch,
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  and the figure in the bed was her in the hospital bed,
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  and it was an IV drip line.
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  And she played out over and over and over again,
• 16:26
  this witch coming
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  and then over the course of weeks.
• 16:31
  She replaced the witch
• 16:33
  with a totally different figure that almost kind of looked like a princess.
• 16:37
  And she was super sweet,
• 16:39
  and she was super kind and she was super nice.
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  She rewrote her story.
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  And even if I don't know the backstory,
• 16:47
  even if I don't know
• 16:48
  that the child had a hospitalization,
• 16:51
  even if I don't know there was a medical crisis and trauma in her background,
• 16:54
  even if I don't know who the witch was,
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  I don't need to know any of that.
• 16:59
  To see what this little girl is playing out.
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  There's an archetype meaning child's view of themselves,
• 17:06
  child's version of themselves in play.
• 17:09
  So there's this little girl representing herself in the bed.
• 17:13
  And there's this figure that comes over and it goes from a witch to a princess.
• 17:17
  That's significant.
• 17:18
  It's symbolic
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  and because it went across multiple sessions it was thematic.
• 17:23
  She rewrote her story.
• 17:25
  She desensitized herself to it
• 17:27
  and she changed what happened so that she felt
• 17:30
  that she had a measure of power and control.
• 17:33
  This is what we look for in sessions,
• 17:36
  and this is why child-centered play therapy works.
• 17:39
  So I hope that that gives you some insight into what's going on in the playroom.
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  And
• 17:45
  I,
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  I hope that that encourages you to really trust the process
• 17:48
  because child-centered play therapy works and it is absolutely incredible
• 17:53
  to be a witness to it.
• 17:54
  I'm grateful every single day that I get to work with kids in this way.
• 17:58
  If you have questions,
• 17:59
  I would love to hear from you.
• 18:00
  If you have comments,
• 18:01
  you want to say hello,
• 18:02
  however you'd like to reach out,
• 18:03
  brenna@thekidcounselor.com.
• 18:06
  I love you all.
• 18:07
  Glad to spend time with you each week.
• 18:08
  We'll talk again soon.
• 18:09
  Bye.
• 18:11
  Thank you for listening to
• 18:12
  the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks.
• 18:16
  For more episodes and just subscribe to our newsletter,
• 18:19
  please go to www.playtherapyparenting.com.