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BECOME the Person You Keep Saying You Want to Be (S5) S40:E7 Friday · Inspirations for Your Life

0:23
Well there, hello everyone, I hope everyone had
0:26
a fantastic week.
0:28
Today is Friday, it is October 2nd, and
0:34
hopefully you guys have had an amazing, amazing
0:39
week.
0:39
I know this video is getting out just
0:41
a little bit under the wire of Friday,
0:44
but that's okay.
0:46
Yes, tomorrow is a very crazy day.
0:48
So welcome everyone, we are celebrating Friday, I
0:51
know about maybe 20 some minutes early, but
0:54
that's okay.
0:55
So it's great to have you here for
0:56
this very first time coming.
0:57
I want to say thank you, and of
0:58
course I want to say welcome.
1:00
If you've been here five times, 10, 100,
1:03
or maybe even more, I want to say
1:04
thank you, but of course I want to
1:05
say the words welcome back, because you are
1:07
very welcome here.
1:09
And what I want to say to you
1:10
guys, which I think is really important, is
1:11
don't forget to check out BelieveMeAchieved.com.
1:13
For more of my amazing, of course, inspiring
1:16
creations.
1:17
So lots of stuff happening, guys, at Montgomery
1:20
University, as you guys know.
1:22
I was interviewed on October 1st, which was
1:26
Thursday, and it was a great show.
1:28
You can catch more about that at jasonacademy
1:30
.com.
1:31
You can go to a brand new section
1:32
that we added on jasonacademy.com.
1:34
You can actually go right to where it
1:36
says Resources, and click on where it says
1:39
Guest Appearances, and you will see right there
1:42
where I made a guest appearance.
1:44
All right.
1:45
So let's get into the show, but before
1:47
I do, I do want to let you
1:49
know I've got a Saratoga collection here, zero
1:52
calories, zero sweeteners.
1:56
So it's a cold kind of drink, and
1:58
it's a mango dragon fruit perspective, flavored sparkling
2:03
spring water.
2:04
Well, let's try it out, okay?
2:11
It's got an interesting flavor to it.
2:14
I don't know if it's my most favorite
2:15
flavor, but I'm trying it out.
2:17
All right, guys.
2:18
If you feel to go grab a mango
2:21
or a water like I've got here, a
2:24
fresh lemon, or maybe a snack or something,
2:26
feel free to do that and come on
2:28
back to the show.
2:30
All right, guys.
2:30
So hello, everyone, and welcome to the ever
2:33
-popular Inspirations for Your Life Show.
2:36
I'm John C.
2:36
Morley, serial entrepreneur, engineer, marketing specialist, video producer,
2:40
podcast host, coach, keynote speaker, passionate lifelong learner,
2:44
graduate student at Montecosto University, and so grateful
2:47
now to be a published author.
2:49
Yes, our weekly master topic is Your Actions
2:53
Are Telling the Truth About You.
2:55
It is series five, show 40, episode number
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seven.
2:58
Today being Friday on our episode seven kind
3:01
of closes out the master topic, and we've
3:05
reached the finale of our week.
3:06
So our topic today is become the person
3:10
you keep saying you want to be.
3:13
Now, the only person preventing you from being
3:15
that person, guys, I'll tell you what it
3:16
is.
3:17
It's you.
3:18
You are the only person that's going to
3:20
prevent you from being the person that you
3:23
actually want to become.
3:24
I mean, hopefully that's no secret to you.
3:26
I had somebody today I was talking to,
3:28
and they're like, oh, John, I love everything
3:29
you're doing, but I talk myself out of
3:31
doing things.
3:33
Well, you know, I don't know what to
3:36
say to that.
3:37
Oh, well, right?
3:38
I mean, I can't make you not do
3:40
something or do something.
3:43
So, you know, that's not something that's, you
3:46
know, healthy.
3:46
So, you know, you got to decide what
3:48
you want, guys.
3:49
You really got to decide what you want.
3:51
And so our topic, I said, is to
3:52
become the person you keep saying you want
3:54
to be.
3:55
All week, we've been examining the distance between
3:58
what we say and what we actually do.
4:01
Today, I'm bringing everything full circle for us
4:04
together, because eventually you have to stop merely
4:08
describing your future self and start giving yourself
4:12
evidence that you're becoming that person.
4:16
So let's get right into those 30 points.
4:19
Let's have some more of this dragon.
4:21
It's called dragon fruit perspective.
4:27
No calories.
4:28
I can't really describe the flavor.
4:31
It's an acquired taste.
4:34
It's not terrible, but it's not something I
4:35
probably would drink again.
4:36
I mean, I'll finish it, but it's not
4:38
something that I probably would get again.
4:41
Number one, your identity is reinforced by repeated
4:45
action.
4:47
Every action doesn't define you permanently, but repeat
4:51
action matters.
4:52
And so every time you practice a behavior,
4:55
you reinforce a pattern, over time, those patterns
4:58
influence how you see yourself and how you
5:00
live.
5:01
So number two, stop describing the person you
5:04
might become someday.
5:06
Someday can become a comfortable hiding place.
5:10
Instead of constantly describing your future self, ask
5:14
what you're doing to build that person right
5:17
now, today, this moment.
5:22
Number three, decide what that person would do
5:28
today.
5:29
Imagine the person you want to become.
5:32
How would that person handle today's responsibilities?
5:36
What decision would they make?
5:39
What would they begin?
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Then practice that kind of behavior.
5:46
Number four, guys, turn values into behaviors.
5:48
Saying you value honesty, discipline, kindness, growth, or
5:56
about reliability is meaningful.
5:58
But what does that value look like in
6:03
action?
6:04
Values become real when behavior expresses them.
6:10
That's the truth.
6:12
Number five, turn your goals into scheduled actions.
6:15
A goal sitting inside your mind has no
6:18
place to happen.
6:19
It's dormant.
6:20
Put the words on your calendar.
6:23
Decide when you take the next step.
6:25
A friend of mine had a good idea,
6:26
and I think it's really cool.
6:30
Mark a celebration date on your calendar.
6:31
Maybe it's a month, two months from now,
6:33
and plan to celebrate something.
6:35
And you'll be surprised that you're probably going
6:38
to be getting there, if not already past
6:41
it, to celebrate it when you put something
6:43
on the calendar.
6:43
Number six, turn promises into completed work.
6:48
Promises describe what you intend to do.
6:51
Completed work creates evidence.
6:53
Finish something and let completion strengthen your confidence.
6:59
I think a lot of people in life,
7:00
they get booed out of confidence because they
7:03
don't really think that they have what it
7:05
takes to do something.
7:07
I mean, that's just the truth, right?
7:09
They don't think they have what it takes,
7:11
and that can be a problem for a
7:14
lot of people.
7:14
I mean, a lot of people.
7:19
I think that's an important thing for us
7:22
all to realize, right?
7:27
I think some people just don't get it.
7:32
And that's something that I think a lot
7:34
of people want to know.
7:36
But then again, they don't, you know what
7:39
I mean?
7:39
So I think that's an important piece for
7:43
us to all realize.
7:45
And maybe, I don't know, maybe you can
7:48
say to yourself, this is something I want
7:50
to do or something I don't want to
7:52
do.
7:52
I mean, I think those are the things
7:53
that push us forward.
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But sometimes we get stuck in this doldrum,
7:57
guys.
7:58
We get stuck in this doldrum, and the
8:00
doldrum is saying, hey, what do I do,
8:03
right?
8:03
What do I really do?
8:05
And I think that becomes, well, it becomes
8:09
hard for some people, because they don't necessarily
8:12
know why or, you know, what's going on.
8:15
I think that's a hard thing for a
8:18
lot of people to understand, right?
8:22
And I think that's important, guys, you know,
8:30
and what it means.
8:34
And hopefully, that means something to you.
8:39
Does that mean something to you or not?
8:42
I mean, that's just the truth of it.
8:43
That's something I want to ask you.
8:45
It's the actual truth.
8:49
And so I want to say this to
8:51
you, because a lot of people don't really
8:55
understand, like, what it means.
9:00
And hopefully, it means something to you, right?
9:05
Hopefully.
9:06
But maybe it doesn't.
9:09
Maybe you're stuck in a doldrum, right?
9:15
I think that's something that a lot of
9:17
people don't realize, right?
9:24
And maybe that's something that a lot of
9:28
people, like, they don't necessarily understand.
9:31
But maybe you're going to say it matters.
9:35
Or maybe you're going to say it doesn't
9:38
matter.
9:39
But what's it really about?
9:42
I think it comes down to, like, what
9:45
we're actually doing, right?
9:47
And that can be something I think that
9:49
a lot of people get scared about.
9:51
And that's something I think that a lot
9:53
of people say to me, John, how do
9:54
I master that, right?
9:57
How do I master that?
9:59
And hopefully, that means something special to you.
10:02
I mean, that's just what I want to
10:04
say to you, OK?
10:06
Understanding this a little more, number seven, let
10:09
your choices provide evidence of who you're becoming.
10:12
Instead of repeatedly telling yourself, I'm becoming more
10:15
disciplined, create evidence, show up, follow through, make
10:19
the choice that supports the identity that you
10:22
wish to have.
10:23
Maybe you don't have it yet.
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It's OK.
10:29
Number eight, you don't transform through intention alone.
10:33
This takes us directly back to where we
10:37
started this week.
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Intentions can provide direction, but action creates movement.
10:43
Transformation requires participation.
10:46
Become different by practicing different.
10:50
Does that make sense?
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And I'm hoping it really does.
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If it doesn't, then that's important.
11:00
And I hope that a lot of you
11:03
seeing this and hearing this really believe what's
11:08
going on or why things are going on.
11:11
I think that can be hard for a
11:13
lot of people, OK?
11:15
Because a lot of people, does that make
11:21
sense?
11:30
I think some people don't get it, right?
11:41
But what does it mean to all of
11:46
you?
11:52
But I think sometimes we get lost in
11:54
our own shuffle, right?
11:57
And the reason we get lost is because
11:59
we think we're not enough, but we really
12:01
are.
12:02
Number nine, become different by practicing differently.
12:06
If you want something to change in your
12:08
life, right?
12:10
You want something to change.
12:13
Something in your repeated behavior probably needs to
12:16
change too.
12:18
New results usually require new patterns.
12:20
I was talking to somebody at a workshop
12:23
I was giving the other day, and I
12:24
never share people's names.
12:26
And the person was saying to me, John,
12:28
you don't understand, you know, you talk about
12:31
money from a success perspective.
12:33
There's other things.
12:34
And you talk about money as something you're
12:36
going toward and growth and all these other
12:39
things.
12:39
And I said, yes.
12:40
And he's like, well, you don't understand, I
12:41
hold like two or more jobs and I'm
12:43
barely able to make ends meet.
12:45
And I just got fired two months ago.
12:47
And I was fired six months before that.
12:50
And I said, to be quite honest with
12:52
you, I said, you become what you think
12:53
most often.
12:55
And Nightingale Conant said this.
12:57
We become what we think about most often.
12:59
And I said, I don't mean to be
13:01
rude to you.
13:02
I said, but, you know, if you keep
13:04
thinking the way you are, you're going to
13:05
get fired again.
13:07
I don't mean to.
13:08
And he got a little upset with me.
13:10
But I want to be true.
13:11
Well, some people can't handle the truth.
13:13
They go in these stages.
13:14
We talked about the other day of denial.
13:16
People don't feel they can change.
13:18
So they just block everything else that's advice.
13:21
Number 10, one better decision can begin a
13:25
new pattern.
13:26
Never underestimate one decision, one workout, one honest
13:29
conversation, one completed task, one boundary, one courageous
13:34
action.
13:35
A pattern has to begin somewhere.
13:38
So I think we have to be prepared
13:39
for that pattern.
13:42
And I think that's an important thing to
13:47
understand.
13:47
And, you know, what's happening and, you know,
13:51
why we're doing the things we do.
13:52
I think that's probably one of the most
13:55
important things that I can tell you, all
13:57
right.
13:57
But you have to believe in this.
14:00
Number 11, guys, stop waiting for a dramatic
14:03
transformation.
14:03
It's not happening.
14:05
Growth isn't always cinematic.
14:07
It's not a movie.
14:08
Sometimes nothing appears dramatic from the outside.
14:11
You're simply making slightly better decisions consistently.
14:16
Number 12, stop, stop, stop the changes, right?
14:24
Because small changes, you don't have to do
14:28
the big changes.
14:29
The small changes can create different direction for
14:31
you.
14:32
A small adjustment, repeat over time.
14:34
I say, stop the big changes.
14:37
And that change that you make can take
14:39
you somewhere completely different than you are now.
14:42
You don't always need a revolution.
14:45
Sometimes you need a course correction, a pivot.
14:49
Number 13, correct yourself when you get off
14:52
course.
14:53
You will get off course guys.
14:55
I will too.
14:56
The goal isn't perfection.
14:58
Notice it, learn from it, adjust and continue
15:02
on your path.
15:03
I know that sounds hard guys, but it's
15:05
really important.
15:12
I think, and I really want you to
15:20
understand what this is behind.
15:29
And I think a lot of people don't
15:30
understand that.
15:34
That's the important thing.
15:37
And maybe a lot of you are gonna
15:38
say to me, John, I don't quite get
15:40
it, right?
15:40
I don't quite get that.
15:41
But I think that comes because of our
15:44
upbringing, right?
15:47
So number 14, changing direction doesn't erase your
15:50
progress.
15:50
Let's be clear on that.
15:52
Remember what we discussed earlier this week.
15:55
You remember that?
15:56
New information can justify a new direction.
15:58
Changing your approach doesn't mean everything you've already
16:01
learned was wasted or for naught.
16:05
Number 15, learn from mistakes instead of defending
16:09
them.
16:10
A mistake can become useful information if you're
16:13
willing to examine it.
16:15
Defending every mistake protects your ego.
16:18
Learning from it protects your future.
16:21
Number 16, leave room to become wiser than
16:25
you were yesterday because you can become wiser,
16:28
guys.
16:28
You absolutely can become wise.
16:30
I think that's an important thing.
16:38
I think a lot of people don't really
16:41
understand that.
16:42
I think a lot of people don't understand
16:45
how things are supposed to work.
16:47
And I think that comes down to how
16:51
we perceive things, right?
16:56
You should be allowed to outgrow ideas, right?
17:01
Yesterday's version of you didn't know everything today's
17:04
version knows.
17:05
Give yourself room to evolve.
17:08
Number 17, keep your ego small enough to
17:11
keep learning.
17:12
The moment you believe you have nothing to
17:15
learn, growth becomes difficult.
17:19
Confidence and curiosity can exist together, but they've
17:25
got to coexist in a mutual, symbiotic relationship,
17:33
not one overpowering the other.
17:36
So I think that's important to understand.
17:38
Number 18, let success improve how you treat
17:42
people.
17:43
I think that's another important thing.
17:45
And hopefully it means something to all of
17:47
you.
17:49
And hopefully, I think sometimes people, like they
17:55
just, they go on a pathway because some
17:57
people say it's one thing.
18:00
Another person says, well, gee, that's very nice,
18:03
but how do I do that?
18:07
What does that mean, right?
18:09
I think that's a piece for some people
18:11
to really think about.
18:16
And hopefully that makes something important.
18:23
Does that make sense to you?
18:24
Hope it makes sense.
18:30
Does it?
18:30
I'm just asking you a question.
18:38
I'm just asking you, does it mean something
18:40
to you or not?
18:47
And maybe if you realize that, you can
18:53
start changing yourself.
18:56
So as number 18 says, let success improve
18:58
how you treat people.
18:59
If success makes you less patient, less generous,
19:02
or less respectful, ask what you're really building.
19:06
Growth should expand your ability to positively affect
19:09
others.
19:10
Number 19, make your progress useful beyond yourself.
19:14
Your growth can help somebody else.
19:19
What you've learned may become guidance, encouragement, opportunity,
19:23
service, or support for another person.
19:25
I said once before, guys, help somebody who
19:28
can't help you.
19:28
And I think that'll be a pretty cool
19:30
thing if you can really understand that.
19:32
Number 20, practice your values when nobody is
19:35
watching.
19:36
Yeah, that's when your character is actually showing
19:39
up.
19:39
That's when you're really growing, okay?
19:42
Yesterday, we talked about integrity.
19:44
Your values don't disappear when the audience does.
19:47
Practice them privately so they remain authentic when
19:50
you are public.
19:52
Number 21, don't promise what you're unwilling to
19:56
practice.
19:57
Be careful about what you repeatedly tell yourself
19:59
and others.
20:00
If something matters enough to promise, it should
20:03
eventually appear somewhere in your behavior.
20:06
Number 22, build trust through consistency.
20:11
Consistent behavior.
20:16
Trust isn't built through one impressive moment, guys.
20:27
I think that's important to know.
20:29
Trust isn't built through one impressive moment.
20:32
It's built when people repeatedly see that your
20:36
behavior supports your words.
20:38
The same applies to trusting yourself.
20:41
Make your private choice match your public message.
20:44
Number 23, if you publicly talk about discipline,
20:47
integrity, kindness, or responsibility, examine whether your private
20:51
decisions support those values.
20:54
Number 24, stop chasing an image and build
20:57
character, for crying out loud.
20:59
Image asks, how do I look?
21:01
Character asks, who am I practicing becoming?
21:06
I'd rather you work on your character than
21:08
your image.
21:09
Spend more energy building something real than manufacturing
21:13
the appearance of it.
21:14
Too many people work on the appearance and
21:16
then they don't get where they wanna go,
21:18
okay?
21:18
Number 25, your actions eventually become your reputation.
21:23
People observe patterns, right?
21:26
I think that's an important thing.
21:30
And I think that's important.
21:37
And hopefully you can understand that, right?
21:40
Your repeated choices become your habits.
21:44
One choice becomes easier to repeat.
21:46
Repetition becomes routine.
21:47
Routine becomes habit.
21:50
That's why seemingly small decisions deserve attention.
21:55
Your habits influence the person you become.
21:57
Habits aren't simply productivity tools.
22:00
They influence your direction.
22:02
What you repeatedly practice becomes part of how
22:05
you operate.
22:05
Number 28, make tomorrow easier by choosing well
22:09
today.
22:09
A good decision today can remove a problem
22:11
tomorrow.
22:12
Prepare something, finish something, have the conversation, make
22:15
the appointment, give tomorrow's version of you some
22:18
help, right?
22:19
And I know that might not be easy.
22:24
That's important, guys.
22:26
Become someone whose words and actions tell the
22:29
same story.
22:30
This is the heart of our entire week.
22:32
Imagine the power of alignment.
22:34
What you say matters to you.
22:37
And is it visible on how you live?
22:40
What you promise is supported by what you
22:42
practice.
22:43
What you believe is reflected in what you
22:46
repeatedly choose.
22:47
Your words and your actions begin telling the
22:50
same story.
22:52
Number 30, stop saying who you wanna be
22:55
and start giving yourself evidence that you're becoming
22:58
that person.
22:59
And this is where our entire week lands.
23:02
We have to start taking those small micro
23:04
steps.
23:05
You don't have to wake up tomorrow completely
23:07
transformed, but you need evidence.
23:11
One better choice is evidence.
23:13
One promise kept is evidence.
23:15
One mistake admitted is evidence.
23:18
One ego-driven argument avoided is evidence.
23:22
One act of integrity nobody sees is evidence.
23:26
One meaningful action instead of merely discussed, guess
23:31
what, guys?
23:32
It's evidence.
23:35
One meaningful action taken instead of merely discussing
23:38
it, it's evidence.
23:39
And then you do it again.
23:42
Think about where we've traveled this week.
23:45
We began by confronting the gap between intentions
23:50
and actions, a very big part for success.
23:53
Then we learned that changing our minds can
23:57
represent growth.
23:58
We examined the promises we make to ourselves.
24:01
We challenged ego and the need to prove
24:04
ourselves.
24:05
We look beyond success that exists only for
24:08
us.
24:09
We explored integrity when nobody is watching.
24:13
And today we bring it full circle, all
24:16
of it together.
24:17
Your actions are telling the truth about you,
24:19
not because one action permanently defines you, but
24:22
because repeat actions create patterns.
24:25
Patterns create habits.
24:26
Habits influence your character and character influences the
24:30
life you build.
24:31
So here's my final challenge for you guys
24:34
this week.
24:34
Are you ready for a final challenge?
24:36
I mean, I hope you are.
24:38
I don't know if you are, but I
24:39
really hope you are, okay?
24:42
Here is my final challenge.
24:44
Choose one quality possessed by the person you
24:48
wanna become, okay?
24:50
What is that challenge?
24:57
Is that important?
25:00
I hope it is.
25:06
And hopefully that means something to you, okay?
25:09
And the reason I say it means something
25:10
to you is I think a lot of
25:14
people, like they don't understand that, right?
25:16
They don't understand like what that whole thing
25:19
means.
25:20
And I think a lot of people sometimes
25:23
get a little bit confused and they wonder
25:25
like why things are happening that way.
25:32
And that was the thing.
25:41
And maybe you'll think about different.
25:49
That's important to me and hopefully that's important
25:51
to you, all right?
25:52
And hopefully that importance I think can share
25:55
some very important stuff.
25:58
Some important stuff that I think a lot
26:00
of people don't realize, right?
26:07
Maybe it comes down to what you're thinking
26:10
for the moment but is it about the
26:12
moment or is it about something else you're
26:15
doing today?
26:17
I mean, that's the thing guys.
26:19
Is it about that or is it about
26:22
something else?
26:23
I mean, I think that's something that a
26:24
lot of us, like we don't really know
26:26
the answer to it but we try to
26:28
figure it out.
26:28
And the reason we try to figure it
26:29
out is we wanna know what's going on
26:31
or why something's going on.
26:34
But I think that's a big thing for
26:36
a lot of people to really understand.
26:39
And I'm not gonna tell you that you're
26:41
gonna suddenly get the answer tomorrow.
26:43
I'm not gonna tell you that.
26:45
I'm definitely not gonna tell you that.
26:48
I think that's an important part of who
26:53
we all are and what we're doing, okay?
26:56
And hopefully that means something to everyone here.
27:00
So maybe it's discipline, maybe it's integrity, maybe
27:02
it's courage, it's patience, it's reliability, it's generosity,
27:04
it's confidence.
27:05
Whatever you choose, ask yourself what would that
27:08
quality look like as an action today?
27:11
Then do it.
27:12
Tomorrow, give yourself another piece of evidence.
27:15
And the next day, announce your transformation.
27:20
You don't have to convince everybody that you're
27:22
changing right now.
27:23
Build the evidence.
27:23
Let your actions speak.
27:26
Let your habits grow, let your character strengthen.
27:28
And eventually, instead of constantly talking about the
27:31
person you wanna become, you may look at
27:33
that evidence surrounding you and say, wait a
27:34
minute, I've already become that person.
27:36
I'm John C.
27:37
Morley, serial entrepreneur, and this has been another
27:38
powerful episode of Inspirations for Your Life.
27:40
Thank you so much for joining me, not
27:42
only today, but the entire week.
27:44
Remember, your future isn't built only through what
27:46
you want and what you say or what
27:48
you intend, it's built on the actions you
27:50
take.
27:51
Check out believemeachieve.com for more of my
27:53
amazing, of course, guys.
27:55
Yes, creations, I think you guys will love.
27:57
Take care everyone and be well.