Latest / Is Your Way In Your Way? / Transforming Tragedy into Triumph: Meridith Alexander's Journey to Purpose and Resilience

Transcript

Transforming Tragedy into Triumph: Meridith Alexander's Journey to Purpose and Resilience · Is Your Way In Your Way?

0:25
Cassandra: My name is Cassandra Crawley Mayo and I'm your host.
0:28
Cassandra: And for those new listeners out there, let me tell you what this is all about.
0:33
Cassandra: It's actually, and I want you to think are you in your way of doing things that you wanted to do?
0:39
Cassandra: Some of your dreams, your aspirations?
0:41
Cassandra: Get a promotion on your job, write a book, be a speaker, be a TV talk show host, anything.
0:49
Cassandra: There's nothing, nothing impossible out there.
0:52
Cassandra: The sky is the limit, and if in fact it is, then you are in the right place and we talk about topics related to personal and business development, and today I have a special guest on that's gonna talk about embracing the big boulders in life, and her name is Meredith Alexandra.
1:13
Cassandra: Welcome, meredith.
1:17
Meridith: Thank you so much for having me and hello to all of you out there who are joining us.
1:23
Meridith: We're so excited to have you.
1:26
Cassandra: Thanks for being on the show today.
1:28
Cassandra: Before we get started, I just want to read your bio for my listeners so they'll kind of get a little background on you before we take our deep dive.
1:53
Cassandra: Meredith Alexander is a best-selling author, a top female motivational speaker, chief empowerment office of GRIT Mindset Academy, and GRIT stands for growth, resilience, intuition, intention or transformation, and I love that acronym for that.
2:03
Cassandra: She's the founder of the EPIC you Re-Evolution Movement, regularly featured on Forbes Coaches Council and featured in global media around the world.
2:14
Cassandra: She has helped thousands of individuals make over their lives, both personally and professionally, whether the objective is to change the career, pass, launch a new business or unleash a life that feels is booyah epic, this woman says that her real business is helping people come alive, and again our topic is embracing the big boulders in life.
2:42
Cassandra: So, meredith, before we talk about your darling daughter, skylar and we're going to talk about what occurred with Skylar, and probably I would say it has a lot to do with where you are today I would like to know, and my audience would like to know, what was life like before your youngest daughter, skylar's accident?
3:05
Cassandra: What was life like then?
3:08
Meridith: Oh, you know, I am so glad that you asked that question because it's really interesting.
3:15
Meridith: I think that before we have a pivotal moment in our life, we often think that it's thanks to or as a result of that pivotal moment that profound changes happen.
3:31
Meridith: What I learned is that all the changes this beautiful recipe before the cake went in the oven it was all these things that were transpiring before that, including some of the things before this that I knew, intellectually, spiritually, that I should be able to forgive or even possibly feel grateful for, that wasn't happening.
4:01
Meridith: All I knew around those topics was pain, frustration, confusion, despair.
4:08
Meridith: So I had been a single mom and entrepreneur for the majority of my life.
4:15
Meridith: I raised three children.
4:18
Meridith: Even though my business was doing well, I just felt like I was constantly chasing this more perfect version of myself.
4:30
Meridith: I could make.
4:30
Meridith: I surely could make more money.
4:33
Meridith: I surely could be a better mom.
4:35
Meridith: I surely could be more present for my children.
4:39
Meridith: I surely could this, that or the other.
4:43
Meridith: And it was incredibly hard on my self-esteem.
4:48
Meridith: I made some terrible relationship choices.
4:52
Meridith: I had some partnerships in business that caused me to take a huge hit.
5:01
Meridith: So it was just like if you believe in the diamonds in the flame.
5:05
Meridith: It was flame after flame, after flame, after flame so even though superficially out in the world.
5:15
Meridith: I might have looked like Wonder Woman right.
5:19
Meridith: I would crawl into bed at night.
5:22
Meridith: I would just think, oh my gosh, I am going to look back on my life one day and feel like I've never truly lived.
5:31
Meridith: Oh, and that became an incredible fear.
5:35
Meridith: And yet, at the same time, it was hard not to align myself with what I think we women, sometimes without even knowing it, are programmed to believe, and I believe that sometimes we're groomed to believe that a man's worth is measured by his achievements, a woman's worth is measured by her sacrifices and how much she's willing not to achieve under the label of doing it for others, and so there was a feeling for me of again just not enoughness and unworthiness.
6:21
Meridith: My self-esteem, my confidence was super low, so here we go to 2016.
6:27
Meridith: My youngest daughter has finally graduated from Yale.
6:33
Cassandra: Yeah.
6:34
Meridith: All my kids are doing really really well.
6:37
Cassandra: Okay.
6:37
Meridith: And I'm finally starting to breathe.
6:40
Cassandra: I've got my business.
6:42
Meridith: I'm not in love with it and I'm kind of wondering will I ever find my passion?
6:49
Meridith: Will I ever find my purpose?
6:50
Meridith: Oh well, there'll be time for that.
6:54
Meridith: Let's just keep going out there and making money right.
6:58
Meridith: So I was focused on making a living and forgetting to choose that I really needed to figure out how to come even more alive.
7:06
Cassandra: So, meredith, let me ask you once your daughter, you know you were an empty nester.
7:11
Cassandra: Everybody's gone, everybody's doing well.
7:13
Cassandra: So am I hearing that you were still kind of feeling worthless, absolutely?
7:19
Cassandra: You were still feeling that way, like you weren't good enough and those what I call saboteurs were all in your way.
7:27
Meridith: Uh-huh, okay, oh yes, oh yes.
7:30
Cassandra: And you had the job, the entrepreneurship and you basically had what you wanted, but there was still something there that was yeah, okay.
7:41
Meridith: Yeah, and here's what's interesting and you just absolutely nailed it is what I find now when I work, especially with women, but it's true for men as well is that there tend to be two flavors of clients.
7:59
Meridith: One the one who feels like I'm not at all where I thought it would be right now in my life and I have no idea how to change that and the other, which sometimes can feel even more painful, is I'm exactly where I thought I would be, but I don't feel like I was promised I would be feeling right now, and so I was kind of a typical high achiever where it was never enough.
8:26
Meridith: Cassandra.
8:27
Meridith: It could never be perfect.
8:31
Meridith: And even though, ironically, for my business and out of curiosity, I had always pursued, literally since I was in my teens, the big question of how to choose to live.
8:45
Meridith: I still bought into the belief that somehow, magically and mysteriously, when things come together in my outer world, yes, we get my relationships right, right my finances to wherever, magically, that number is that's right etc, etc, etc.
9:05
Meridith: Then I will wake up one morning and I will feel like oh my gosh.
9:10
Cassandra: I'm happy.
9:14
Meridith: Right, I'm finally there.
9:15
Meridith: It's kind of like the happiness diploma that you believe is somehow going to go on the wall, Right.
9:20
Meridith: And so there I was, on this busy Friday afternoon, February 19th 2016.
9:30
Meridith: And it was at the start of my busy season.
9:41
Meridith: Now understand that I was in an industry the performing arts where every single penny of our annual income came in in a span of four months, months so we had to write every contract that we would write for the year, make every single sale between the beginning of january and the beginning of may, and so it was february 19th, so things were just starting to pick up speed.
10:06
Meridith: So so I prepped myself for a nice 10 hour day.
10:11
Cassandra: Okay.
10:13
Meridith: For some crazy reason, about 1030 am.
10:16
Meridith: I started uncontrollably yawning.
10:20
Meridith: It was the weirdest thing.
10:22
Meridith: I was just overwhelmed with fatigue.
10:26
Meridith: So I thought, oh my God, this cannot be.
10:30
Meridith: I have, you know, times of wasting.
10:33
Meridith: And so, my God, if I threw water on my face?
10:35
Meridith: I looked in the mirror, yeah, and my eyes were all puffy.
10:40
Meridith: Now, there was no logical explanation for it.
10:45
Meridith: So I thought I'm going to just power through this, God.
10:49
Meridith: I sat back down.
10:50
Meridith: I'm yawning, I'm yawning, I'm yawning.
10:53
Meridith: And finally I just said you know what?
10:54
Meridith: I can't, I can't fight this.
10:56
Meridith: I will go and take a 15 minute cat nap.
11:00
Meridith: Surely that will do it.
11:01
Meridith: So at noon I put my head on the pillow.
11:05
Meridith: At 3pm, my eyes pop wide open.
11:08
Meridith: Now'm like, oh my gosh, how did that happen?
11:13
Cassandra: yeah.
11:14
Meridith: I go running downstairs speaking of doggies.
11:18
Meridith: I grab the leashes for my girls and I get ready to run outside and the phone rings and.
11:28
Meridith: I look at the number and it's the weirdest number.
11:31
Meridith: It's clearly international.
11:34
Meridith: I never get international calls, but something inside me knew that I had to pick up.
11:40
Meridith: And I tell you, Cassandra, and if you're listening, if you've ever had one of these moments in your life, it's that premonition.
11:50
Meridith: You just know that your life is about to change.
11:53
Cassandra: Yeah, something's up.
11:55
Meridith: And so the moment that I opened up that phone and put it to my ear and heard the first inhale, I knew that I was stepping into a place where I had never been before.
12:09
Meridith: I was stepping into a place where I had never been before and this tiny little voice on the other side of the line said I don't know how to tell you this, but Skye's been in a devastating accident.
12:21
Meridith: You have to get down here to Columbia where three doctors are going to do their best to keep her alive.
12:29
Cassandra: And this is in Columbia, ohio, columbia, south America.
12:38
Meridith: Yes, yes.
12:40
Cassandra: Okay.
12:41
Meridith: Yes, so you can imagine.
12:44
Cassandra: Yes.
12:45
Meridith: The thoughts that were racing through my head.
12:48
Meridith: So a boulder that had probably been attached to the side of a mountain for millions of years?
12:56
Meridith: Yeah, chose the moment.
12:58
Meridith: Oh, my God, my sweet daughter was beneath it to break loose, catapulting down and fall, cracked open her skull.
13:10
Meridith: It crushed her lungs, fractured her spine, fractured both scapula, snapped her thigh, pulverized her left ankle.
13:19
Meridith: I mean she had four injuries that were considered unsurvivable and I was getting the call yes to say basically get down here, yeah, right away oh my gosh, um when?
14:08
Cassandra: so my other question is first of all, there was a premonition that she wasn't going to make it.
14:17
Cassandra: Is that correct?
14:19
Meridith: Well, here's the interesting thing, Cassandra, I realized, having spent decades which I believed was just a curiosity for me goes back to where we started our conversation, where nothing in your life is accidental.
14:40
Meridith: I believe to the deepest core of my essence that even before I came here essence that even before I came here, I had picked out my passion, my purpose, and I believe that we have one goal, and one goal only of that is to be taking our final breath saying oh my gosh, this was epic.
15:06
Cassandra: I hope I get the chance to do this again.
15:08
Meridith: So I believed that my passion, my desire to explore and discover my potential here on this glorious planet but, more importantly, to really impact the other lives that are here, in a positive way, but in order to really do it at a profound level, that meant that I had to endure things that I would never intentionally subject on myself.
15:42
Meridith: So it goes back to this ironic sense of ask and it is given so the abusive relationship that I had been in at one point, the financial terror that I had been on when I was double crossed by a business partner and had to come up with $100,000 in one week.
16:04
Cassandra: Okay.
16:05
Meridith: Moments like that.
16:07
Meridith: Yeah had I not felt the exact emotions that I had felt, I would not have been driven to ask the questions, to let go of things that were keeping me playing small.
16:22
Meridith: So, as a result, for decades I had really focused on how some people learn to play the inner game to win.
16:32
Meridith: And they face these incredible boulders not usually literal boulders, but everyone has their own boulder.
16:43
Meridith: And ironically to your podcast title.
16:47
Meridith: I believe that the ultimate clue is in the word boulder itself, in other words, when you take the you out of the boulder.
16:57
Meridith: In other words, when you get out of your own way yes then, and only then, is that bigger boulder version of yourself recognizable and embraceable.
17:13
Cassandra: So this catastrophic, this accident with your daughter, your younger daughter, skylar, did things change for you right away, or the way you were feeling.
17:27
Cassandra: Once you saw her Like did your mindset change?
17:33
Cassandra: Did you start feeling sorry for yourself?
17:36
Cassandra: Was it like oh me, how can this happen to me?
17:39
Cassandra: What were your thoughts doing this?
17:42
Cassandra: Because this was catastrophic.
17:44
Meridith: I love, I love this question because it is so profoundly important, and so there was a moment of why me, but it wasn't like.
17:57
Meridith: You just explained it.
17:58
Meridith: It was.
18:00
Meridith: Why did my daughter end up with me as her mother?
18:07
Meridith: She needs someone who has this epic version of herself, who has more wealth than I have right now who has more ability to navigate these things, maybe who would even speak Spanish, because this is happening in Colombia, someone who can create a miracle for her in this moment, and I felt like I can barely figure out me.
18:31
Meridith: Once again, not enoughness.
18:34
Meridith: However, here's just.
18:39
Meridith: The lusciousness of the thing is because this had not happened happened in Tampa, where I live.
18:49
Meridith: It took me almost an entire day to get to her, so, rather than arriving like this hysterical second victim of this boulder, yeah.
19:04
Meridith: I had to get on a plane yeah, surround myself, Surround myself in darkness at 30,000 feet and I can tell anyone who's listening.
19:14
Meridith: There is no better place to ask yourself some really powerful questions.
19:22
Meridith: And by the way, notice that in the word power and you can tell I'm a wordy here.
19:29
Cassandra: Yeah.
19:30
Meridith: In the word power.
19:31
Meridith: There is no me, there is only we, and so I had to figure out how much power I was willing to give this boulder and what I was going to make it mean in the context of not only my life, yes, but Skylar's life and, potentially, her legacy.
19:55
Meridith: But, understand at this point, she had already done more to positively impact the world.
20:03
Meridith: She'd been to five out of the seven continents.
20:06
Meridith: She taught English in Tanzania, she'd been to Nepal, she'd been to Croatia, ecuador, peru, all over.
20:14
Meridith: She'd done more than most people do in 80.
20:18
Meridith: So was I going to diminish that and instead identify myself, going forward, as simply the mother of a child who had been tragically killed by a boulder, or would I protect the fire that could never be taken away from me unless I released it?
20:44
Meridith: Of those years, those 22 years that we had had as a we together?
20:54
Meridith: I was not the person I was before she came into my life, and the only way I would become someone less than was if I relinquished it.
21:06
Meridith: So instead, for my child, I made two commitments.
21:11
Meridith: One I would find this epic version of myself.
21:16
Meridith: For her, I would be someone who can if of what happened as the mother of a child who had achieved in 22 years what most of us dream of achieving in 80.
21:40
Cassandra: Yes.
21:41
Meridith: Does that make sense?
21:42
Cassandra: It does, absolutely.
21:43
Cassandra: She's done a lot Right, and so, by her accomplishing so much within that 22 years, what was your?
21:53
Cassandra: Because, on your way there, you had they told you what happened.
21:59
Cassandra: They perhaps described to you what happened.
22:02
Cassandra: So what were you expecting when you got there?
22:21
Meridith: no-transcript.
22:24
Meridith: Some questions that would empower me.
22:27
Meridith: And so I realized that I definitely could not control most of the things in the outer game.
22:38
Meridith: That was beyond my power.
22:40
Meridith: But I started looking back the decades and decades, everything from energy to law of attraction, to neuro-linguistic programming, all of it and said I may not be able to control the outer game, but I sure as heck can play a mean inner game, so it was interesting.
23:02
Meridith: One of the amazing angels that came into our life that was connected to us, who was from Colombia.
23:13
Cassandra: Okay.
23:14
Meridith: She became like a sister to me, and when I had finally gotten to Colombia, and was on the four hour drive to where this teeny tiny hospital was she called me and she said I want to brace, yeah, and actually see the x-rays, see the photographs of the injury, talk to them.
23:35
Meridith: And she said to me now I just want to prepare you.
23:58
Meridith: Your sweet Skylar is going to look like a monster but, it is still your sweet daughter in there and I was.
24:11
Meridith: I had been able to inch myself so powerfully by asking different questions, questions that my mind could believe.
24:22
Meridith: That allowed me to believe that the impossible was possible, that miracles do happen every day and if them, why not us?
24:34
Meridith: My instinct was to recoil when she said that and think I will never be able to see my daughter as a monster.
24:46
Meridith: So what was interesting?
24:47
Meridith: Before they showed us us skylar, they showed us the x-ray.
24:52
Meridith: They didn't show us the photograph of the wounds, my goodness, but they showed us the x-ray and cassandra.
24:59
Meridith: What immediately popped into my mind was I don't know if you've ever been to a museum of science and industry in the archaeological finds and the skulls and bones were all cracked and shredded.
25:14
Meridith: I was looking at that at my daughter, but when I got to her bedside to me, she looked like Mother Teresa.
25:26
Meridith: Her hair had all been shaved off.
25:29
Meridith: Yeah, bandage that was around her head.
25:32
Meridith: Her face was so swollen.
25:34
Meridith: Now, she was unrecognizable, but she looked like this beautiful, peaceful little China doll.
25:42
Cassandra: Okay.
25:44
Meridith: And from the very first moment, and from the very first moment, things that were impossible became our I'm possible, and it honestly began to look as if life had to conform to this powerful vision that I don't care about medical precedent, my daughter will be fine, whatever.
26:13
Meridith: Fine in this case is destined to be.
26:18
Cassandra: Okay.
26:19
Meridith: That means that her little body can no longer join us.
26:25
Cassandra: Okay.
26:27
Meridith: Does that make sense?
26:29
Cassandra: Yes, yes, it was kind of like I think you said something about a mindset, Um, it's kind of like we talked about the the um.
26:41
Cassandra: You said the inner game is much more than a mindset.
26:45
Meridith: Yes, more than a mindset.
26:53
Meridith: Yes, mindset is an element of it, right, right Me.
26:55
Meridith: So mindset to me is an expression of language, basically.
27:02
Meridith: And so there are three elements elements that, if you're listening to this, if you do nothing else, I would say make the today the day that you commit to becoming the sovereign of this one resource that you cannot delegate, you cannot automate it and you cannot eliminate it, and that is your mind.
27:30
Meridith: And when I say sovereign, I mean think of the way you approach your external technology, your laptop.
27:38
Meridith: You would consider yourself crazy if you did not take responsibility for using passwords and for using virus protection.
27:51
Cassandra: Right If.
27:53
Meridith: I were to say to you that's very untrusting, take it off.
27:57
Meridith: You would consider me mad.
28:00
Cassandra: Yeah.
28:01
Meridith: And yet we are trained that that's just the way I'm wired, in other words, my thoughts get to think me and if I'm lucky, I can try coping skill, figure out a mindset.
28:20
Meridith: Unspoken word is temporarily that can help me through it.
28:25
Meridith: Instead of becoming the sovereign where you master three elements your focus, what are you focusing on?
28:43
Meridith: The presence of what you want or the absence of the presence of what you want?
28:45
Meridith: Most of us spend hours and hours of our day identifying the things that are missing.
28:51
Meridith: When we even answer a question where do you want to be a year from now we often respond by saying I want to be making six figures because I'm not now.
29:03
Meridith: I want to be living in a bigger house because I'm not now.
29:06
Meridith: So, our focus is completely on the lack, which puts us on the emotional frequency that pairs us with more lack.
29:17
Meridith: When we become the sovereign, we learn how to focus on the presence of what we want.
29:27
Meridith: We learn to master our language.
29:30
Meridith: So that our language monitors, triggers emotions, and emotions trigger the stories, the responses and whether we're able to see opportunities or not.
29:46
Meridith: And then the final element is really that ability to envision right the imagination.
29:54
Meridith: Often we use our imagination only to worry, fear and self-doubt.
30:01
Cassandra: Mm-hmm.
30:02
Meridith: Mm-hmm.
30:02
Meridith: So when you can focus on becoming giving yourself permission, guilt-free, to say that thought, I may not be able right now to avoid thinking it.
30:18
Meridith: I don't need to give it traction.
30:20
Meridith: You go into quarantine because you do not empower me in the direction that is to my benefit to go.
30:33
Cassandra: Okay, let's break this down.
30:35
Cassandra: So you're saying, when you saw your daughter, you talked about the three elements, how you had to.
30:50
Cassandra: You said it's beyond the mindset.
30:52
Cassandra: And I'm asking this because many of my listeners have had tragedies and things that occur, boulders in their life, and this is an opportune time for them to hear from you in layman's terms yes, um, because a lot of the language you're speaking some of my listeners aren't familiar with.
31:11
Cassandra: You know, like the, the linear.
31:15
Cassandra: You said something, the EFT or it was something that you mentioned, the unconscious linguistic program, things like that.
31:23
Cassandra: Because I want it, because we all have boulders, you know, and who our boulders are.
31:30
Cassandra: You know, they always say it's always somebody worse than you.
31:33
Cassandra: I always hear that.
31:34
Cassandra: Well, that doesn't really make me feel that better because it's my thing.
31:39
Cassandra: So, li ves and they confront them, what my listeners have boulders in their are you saying?
31:47
Cassandra: What are you saying to say how can they I don't know if it's make you feel better, or or how do you um, how do you get through it?
32:01
Meridith: Sure, um, first of all, I recommend not trying to get to the bottom of it.
32:09
Meridith: There is no bottom.
32:10
Meridith: Get beyond the things that are keeping you at the bottom.
32:15
Meridith: But start with questions, because the questions are the hands that will help you get out of the maze.
32:28
Cassandra: And what I mean is this let me give you an example.
32:32
Meridith: Okay, First of all, start by asking yourself what can I control?
32:42
Cassandra: Okay.
32:43
Meridith: Because we often sabotage ourselves right from the beginning by thinking the only way out of this maze is to control things that I can't control.
32:53
Meridith: So we have to first of all get our power back by saying there are things I can control.
33:03
Cassandra: That's good.
33:04
Meridith: Okay, the second question is what can my mind believe?
33:10
Meridith: Now some of your listeners have probably heard the advice around manifesting.
33:22
Meridith: That to go and make an affirmation Fake it, steal it.
33:29
Meridith: You make it.
33:30
Meridith: Go, stand in front of the mirror and say I am a money magnet.
33:37
Cassandra: Yeah.
33:37
Meridith: And pay no attention to the fact that your mind is going?
33:42
Meridith: Did you see the notification from the bank about?
33:46
Cassandra: that.
33:47
Meridith: You know, lack of funds there, right, your mind must believe it.
33:53
Meridith: So the unspoken next question attached to that is well, how can I help my mind to believe things that are going to empower me?
34:08
Meridith: Now, once again, I'm going to encourage your listeners to look at the clue within the word empower.
34:15
Meridith: The me comes before the we.
34:20
Meridith: So before you can empower anyone else, anything else, you have to empower yourself.
34:27
Meridith: But how do you get there?
34:28
Meridith: It's in the mirror, not the finger, so don't be pointing and blaming.
34:35
Meridith: That's not your way through this okay it's healing yourself and helping thought.
34:41
Meridith: So for me, for example, what could I get my mind to believe?
34:46
Meridith: Well, I'm sitting there on this plane and I have been told that I may not be coming back with the same daughter who flew down there.
35:00
Meridith: And so I started by saying, okay, what can my mind believe?
35:06
Meridith: Started by saying, okay, what can my mind believe?
35:14
Meridith: Here's a great place to start.
35:15
Meridith: Don't start with yourself, because you're tangled up in your own emotions Start with other people, so my question became huh, has anyone else ever achieved something that everyone else on the planet was convinced was impossible?
35:34
Meridith: Well, that was laughable, cassandra, because I'm at 30,000 feet, flying through the air in a metal tube.
35:43
Meridith: Clearly, at some point, the very concept of flying in a plane was believed to be stark, raving mad.
35:53
Meridith: My mind could believe that.
35:54
Meridith: My mind was like oh yeah, and then it was a small step to okay, so impossible things are happening every day.
36:05
Meridith: Phones you look around us, our technology every single day, all right, so how about medical miracles?
36:14
Meridith: Well, look at Hollywood, it's filled with those.
36:18
Meridith: So is it logical to believe that these things do exist?
36:23
Meridith: Okay, so did any of them have, like a special designated angel, or luck or skills or talent?
36:34
Cassandra: or access that I don't have.
36:36
Cassandra: No.
36:39
Meridith: So what I was able to do was then go to the next question of what then?
36:46
Meridith: Might I be assuming that is not necessarily true?
36:50
Meridith: Well, I'm assuming that, just because medical precedent says that nobody survives this, that it must be true and yet impossible things are happening every day.
37:08
Meridith: Medical miracles are happening on a regular basis.
37:12
Meridith: So clearly, that truth maybe isn't quite so true.
37:17
Meridith: So if you are out there and you are going through, you know, facing your own boulder, get out of your own way by asking different questions.
37:34
Meridith: And here's your target Just find one question that makes you feel just 1% better.
37:44
Meridith: Don't believe that you're going to go from total I'm under the sheets in my bed, devastated to skipping out in the flower field like like some disney superhero, right?
38:00
Meridith: that it won't happen that way.
38:02
Meridith: It's one tiny little step that your mind can get behind and it starts with thinking about has anyone else ever felt what I'm feeling right now, who has gone on to live a life that is more epic than they ever would have imagined?
38:26
Cassandra: Probably.
38:28
Meridith: And is it logical to believe that they were just a chosen one, that they had something different, that they weren't feeling the level of pain and despair and hopelessness and whatever?
38:42
Meridith: It is and loss and grief that I'm feeling right now and inch yourself to the place where you can get, to the place where your mind can believe.
38:56
Meridith: Maybe all they had in their corner was that they were willing to believe and keep going.
39:04
Meridith: They were willing to turn that pain into a purpose into a passion into something that celebrates the loss.
39:20
Cassandra: OK.
39:20
Cassandra: So the pain you endured and I know it is because it's all part of grieving you know we grieve differently and we grieve not just if somebody passes.
39:30
Cassandra: We grieve if we lose a job within a relationship.
39:33
Cassandra: Yes, that pain you had has maneuvered you to a purpose and usually, you know, I hear a lot of people talk about when somebody passes away in their life.
39:46
Cassandra: You know, like, okay, I got to start living my life because life is short.
39:50
Cassandra: How did you define or how did you figure out what your purpose was based on what you've been through.
39:57
Cassandra: It's just like my listeners perhaps have lost a job, lost a loved one, just confused about what they should be doing.
40:05
Cassandra: You know how can they transcend that to a purpose should be doing?
40:08
Cassandra: You know?
40:09
Meridith: how can they transcend that to a purpose?
40:10
Meridith: It's not like the clouds open and the angels sing and you know a giant scroll is delivered.
40:16
Meridith: This is your purpose.
40:17
Meridith: You've got it right.
40:19
Meridith: Start by sharing, yeah, your story with the objective of serving someone else not feeding their fear, not feeding someone else's hopelessness, not from the perspective of.
40:40
Meridith: Let me tell you how bad life really is, how unfair life is.
40:45
Meridith: No, no, no.
40:46
Meridith: Find the place where you can start asking questions.
40:54
Meridith: Where are the gems in my story that might help even one person?
41:02
Meridith: And the irony is this goes back to the we in the word power.
41:09
Meridith: You will start getting reflections back to you of stories and ways that you have graced someone else's life in such a profound way that you never would have expected that.
41:29
Meridith: Before you know it, you wake up one day and you go oh my gosh, I didn't even see it.
41:37
Meridith: But, it's that saying what I am seeking so desperately has been seeking me the entire time.
41:47
Cassandra: Right.
41:47
Cassandra: So much, it's not it's.
41:48
Cassandra: It's kind of like you said, it's not just me, it's we.
41:52
Cassandra: And if we get out our way, get out of our head and see this as a way of using this to be of service to someone else, then we forget about ourselves because it's really not about us, even though we think things are really about us.
42:10
Cassandra: Right, our purpose here is, um, is to do something for others, you know, right so, what you did was your starting point.
42:21
Cassandra: That was the grit Academy.
42:23
Cassandra: Um did that manifest after the incident with your daughter
42:28
Meridith: It did, and it was fascinating because, as part of what I knew right regarding law of attraction which to me the word attraction is a contraction for the words attracting the right action, the law of attraction.
42:48
Meridith: And so, as part of that, that meant that I had to be the leader, the sovereign, of Team Skylar Gosh, darn it.
42:59
Meridith: If we were going to create a miracle, I need everyone's help around the world, all these people that she knew, which meant posting, in my case, starting, a page called the Sky is the Limit, s-c-h-u-y, like her name, that ultimately became my Sky is the Limit book.
43:18
Meridith: That, instead of saying, oh my gosh, please pray for my daughter, and posting these pathetic pictures of her in the hospital it was powerful pictures, it was if you want to cheer for us, you go out there and you be that best version of yourself.
43:35
Meridith: You talk to people in the elevator.
43:37
Meridith: You live your dreams, you take chances laugh dance, get re-nod, that kind of thing.
43:44
Meridith: So people started passing it around.
43:46
Meridith: And ultimately, as we got back to Tampa, as she had officially survived, the unsurvivable people started asking me to speak.
43:58
Meridith: I said I'm not a speaker.
43:59
Meridith: I've become terrified of going on stage.
44:01
Meridith: They kept sharing stories, sharing stories.
44:05
Meridith: People started asking me to coach the formula that they had kind of seen in action.
44:12
Meridith: This isn't someone who was just talking about it.
44:15
Meridith: They saw it in real life unfolding.
44:19
Meridith: And they said oh my gosh, I haven't seen it through this lens before.
44:24
Meridith: Can you teach it to me?
44:25
Meridith: And I said I'm not a coach, it's not my career, my profession.
44:30
Meridith: But as more and more stories came back to me, I took a chance.
44:37
Cassandra: you took a risk.
44:51
Meridith: And then, when I made the commitment, then I invested in myself, which was equally scary.
44:53
Meridith: I learned the framework.
44:54
Meridith: How do I coach people so that they can get immediate value in the first session?
44:56
Meridith: How do I get up on stage and deliver a keynote that moves people, that makes them get out?
45:03
Meridith: There and not just say, oh, I'm motivated, but no, I'm committed to take terror evoking action in some cases.
45:13
Cassandra: So, so, so the, the, the formula that you use, the outcome is for individuals to embrace the big boulders in life so they can move on.
45:32
Meridith: Absolutely, okay, absolutely.
45:33
Meridith: It is a framework for one identifying not only where you are, but who you are.
45:37
Meridith: Okay, let's lose track of that then to reboot recalibrate holders that are in the way.
45:40
Meridith: Yes, and that and a lot of those are inner game.
45:43
Meridith: So get your inner game really honed up so that now you are thinking like the sovereign of your own mind, of your own life, that epic version of yourself.
45:54
Meridith: And then now let's layer on some outer game skills.
46:02
Meridith: And if you're professionally.
46:04
Meridith: Personally, that could be anything from your daily routines, your personal empowerment system to your marketing, your language.
46:16
Meridith: How do you take that into leadership?
46:17
Meridith: And so that really has become my passion.
46:20
Meridith: It's based on the Howard Thurman quote that says don't ask what the world needs.
46:28
Meridith: Ask what makes you come even more alive.
46:31
Meridith: And you go do that, because what the world needs is people to come even more alive.
46:38
Cassandra: That's good.
46:39
Cassandra: So you know, I usually ask my guests sometimes what qualifies you to do this type of work, and you have actually told the story, you know.
46:49
Cassandra: So, what you've done was utilize I wouldn't say utilize, but based on what happened with your daughter, you saw that, hey, I can turn this around for other people, because stuff's always happening, they're always boulders in our lives.
47:06
Cassandra: We're always going to have trials and tribulations.
47:08
Cassandra: So, you are able to figure this thing out and serve others so they can overcome it as well.
47:16
Meridith: Absolutely.
47:17
Meridith: And this goes back to where you started this amazing conversation.
47:22
Meridith: That unbeknownst to me at the time, that unbeknownst to me at the time, the decades and decades and decades of research which I thought was just a passion, a curiosity a hobby ended up layering on so much inner game wisdom and strategy and expertise that by the time it came for me to take my doctorate exam in the school of hard knocks, literally from that boulder, I didn't have to get ready, I just had to stay ready.
47:58
Cassandra: Exactly when the student's ready.
47:59
Cassandra: The teacher appeared, so okay.
48:03
Cassandra: So what I'd like for you to tell my listeners as we wrap up.
48:07
Cassandra: My listeners, um, are in their way and you know there's things that they want to accomplish, their goals, their dreams, their even forgiveness.
48:18
Cassandra: You know something that you need to forgive somebody about, or because that way they'll be released or open to have their own business, write their own book, be a speaker, and they're just like it's just so.
48:30
Cassandra: They're stuck.
48:31
Cassandra: It's like how.
48:33
Cassandra: It's kind of like your story in the beginning, like I'm doing this, I'm doing that, but I'm just unsettled.
48:40
Cassandra: You know something's missing.
48:42
Cassandra: Something's missing, what can, what is it that you can share with my listeners that will enable them to embrace those boulders and start serving others?
48:52
Meridith: I love it.
48:52
Meridith: So, first of all, devour as much wisdom and information and podcasts like this as you can and then get to the point where you're willing to embrace that again there is no me in power.
49:15
Meridith: There is we, months into weeks, into days, and see those blind spots.
49:27
Meridith: Strength is the ability to say I'm ready to get help, I'm ready for the coach, I'm ready for the mentor and, most of all, I'm ready to believe in me.
49:43
Meridith: Right?
49:45
Meridith: A lot of them out themselves, out of getting in their own way right, because at some level they say, ah, it'll never work for me I'm different yes you have to have the strength to say I feel the unfamiliarity.
50:04
Meridith: I'm going to choose to do this anyway, because that is the way, so it's understanding.
50:15
Meridith: Finding some qualified person yes, shockingly, this may not be in your household.
50:23
Meridith: Right, right, find the right person who can help you reconnect with not only where you are but who you are, and on social media I'm pretty much everywhere.
50:54
Meridith: The trick is to remember that it is Meredith Alexander.
50:58
Meridith: Meredith has two eyes, so think of a human being two eyes.
51:03
Meridith: It's not a traditional spelling, so look for me on social media.
51:07
Meridith: Wise, it's not a traditional spelling, so look for me on social media.
51:11
Meridith: However, I'm going to call you out.
51:17
Meridith: If you are listening to this and if this has resonated, and especially if you're feeling that little bit of sandpaper kind of feeling like maybe I have been getting in my own way, I am going to challenge you to, right here, right now, go to my website, my coaching website, grit mindset Academy, and find the link.
51:37
Meridith: In fact, I'll give you a secret entrance to that link right here, right now.
51:43
Meridith: And it's bitly forward slash go epic.
51:49
Meridith: Now.
51:49
Meridith: Each of those words are capitalized.
51:52
Meridith: So bitly go epic now.
51:55
Meridith: I will personally get on a Zoom with you.
52:02
Meridith: We will brainstorm and I will give you some ideas.
52:07
Meridith: Maybe I'll point you in a direction where that could be the next epic step for you.
52:12
Meridith: Maybe that next direction is me, I don't know, but I am willing to invest in you because the universe and all of you, who I call my global, global tramily tribe family, have invested in me.
52:27
Meridith: So if you want to be at that place where you look back at your life, knowing that you have given yourself the opportunity to fully live, yes that zoom link is waiting.
52:42
Cassandra: Awesome, awesome.
52:43
Cassandra: Thank you so much, meridith.
52:45
Cassandra: This was unbelievable.
52:47
Cassandra: Awesome, awesome.
52:47
Cassandra: Thank you so much, meredith.
52:48
Cassandra: This was unbelievable, and my listeners and I know you've gotten some nuggets and some gems from Meredith about your boulders, because you have those boulders and you want to get those boulders out the way and embrace them first, you know.
53:03
Cassandra: Embrace them and try to identify who you are, whose you are and what you believe that your purpose in life is, because we all have one.
53:10
Cassandra: We all have a passion, even though some of us are trying to still figure that out.
53:14
Cassandra: But Meridith has given you something that you could, that link that you can go in and have a discovery call with her.
53:21
Cassandra: Please take advantage of it and if you found this podcast to be of value, please subscribe and also forward this to your friends, individuals that you know that could benefit from it and benefit from embracing the big boulders in life.
53:38
Cassandra: So, meredith, we could continue to talk, but we can't keep going like this.
53:44
Cassandra: We can't keep going like this, but I just want to thank you for your wisdom, thank you for your, your willingness to be on here, your openness, your candor, and I'm just grateful that you not that would happen to your daughter, but you've taken that and you've done something great with it and gone and actually going to minister.
54:07
Cassandra: I call it a ministry to the world and that's what's important.
54:11
Meridith: Well, thank you so much for having me and those of you who have been following along to our conversation.
54:20
Meridith: Celebrate yourself, too, Take a hand and pat on your back because you are here speaking, being here for a reason, and we celebrate you and and come back and join Cassandra.
54:33
Meridith: It's an amazing podcast and it's been such an honor being here.
54:37
Cassandra: Thank you, okay, listeners, as I always say.
54:40
Cassandra: Bye for now and God bless you.