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Thriving as a Guide: Living Your Story to Help Others Heal | Wholehearted Identity #4 · The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast

0:00
SPEAKER_00: To be clear, I didn't plan on becoming a guide.
0:04
SPEAKER_00: I didn't have a title or a framework or even a clue what I was doing.
0:09
SPEAKER_00: I wasn't in a grand plan.
0:11
SPEAKER_00: But when I was a teenager, still young in my faith, but very honest about my pursuit of Jesus, I found myself having conversations with classmates and even adults that had nothing to do with church attendance and everything to do with knowing Christ.
0:28
SPEAKER_00: Not just learning about God or the Bible, but walking with Jesus.
0:35
SPEAKER_00: In my early 20s, I truly was still very tender from my first layer of healing around sexual trauma.
0:44
SPEAKER_00: But women would start wanting to talk to me.
0:47
SPEAKER_00: They wanted to talk about their own hidden pain.
0:51
SPEAKER_00: They would confess what they had never said out loud before to anyone else.
0:57
SPEAKER_00: I would cry with them, pray with them, and together we would walk into forgiveness and a new way of living and being.
1:07
SPEAKER_00: By my 30s, I came alongside women who feared they would never find love.
1:13
SPEAKER_00: I didn't come with pity, but it was rather a steady reminder.
1:18
SPEAKER_00: There's already a lover of your soul.
1:20
SPEAKER_00: You were never without one.
1:23
SPEAKER_00: And then guess what?
1:24
SPEAKER_00: They started believing it.
1:25
SPEAKER_00: They walked differently.
1:27
SPEAKER_00: They showed up fully as themselves, radiant with love, even before they had a ring on their finger.
1:36
SPEAKER_00: I even ran literal miles with women battling postpartum depression, praying with them through the fog, reminding them of the truth when their minds were lying.
1:47
SPEAKER_00: I've sat with moms whose own mothers couldn't nurture them, who cried out for comfort and didn't know how to mother without repeating unhealthy patterns.
1:58
SPEAKER_00: Together, we would name the ache.
2:01
SPEAKER_00: And then we would turn and bless those who hurt us.
2:06
SPEAKER_00: And ultimately, we would live a better story.
2:13
SPEAKER_00: Now it's women wrestling with purpose, passion, calling.
2:18
SPEAKER_00: It's coaches asking not just how to succeed, but how to build something that aligns with their faith, values, and a whole-hearted life.
2:32
SPEAKER_00: Not because I set out to lead, but because I chose to heal.
2:38
SPEAKER_00: And in doing so, God began letting my story guide others.
2:43
SPEAKER_00: He allowed me to share my broken-hearted moments that turned into a wholehearted living decision.
2:53
SPEAKER_00: Now, maybe as I share those stories, you were thinking, wow, that's definitely not me.
2:59
SPEAKER_00: Or you're thinking, I'm not a coach or a ministry leader.
3:02
SPEAKER_00: Or maybe even I don't think I've healed enough yet to help anyone else.
3:08
SPEAKER_00: But here is what I want you to hear today.
3:11
SPEAKER_00: You don't become a guide because you've arrived.
3:14
SPEAKER_00: You become a guide because you keep choosing to heal.
3:19
SPEAKER_00: You become a guide when you're willing to go first to live what you're learning out loud.
3:27
SPEAKER_00: Maybe your moment is a text from a friend asking, can I talk to you about something hard?
3:33
SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's a coffee date with a younger woman who reminds you of yourself just five to ten years ago.
3:39
SPEAKER_00: Or maybe it's how you mother differently than how you were mothered.
3:44
SPEAKER_00: Guides don't need platforms.
3:47
SPEAKER_00: They don't need programs or podcast intros.
3:50
SPEAKER_00: They just need presence.
3:52
SPEAKER_00: They need honesty.
3:53
SPEAKER_00: They need a me too that turns someone's shame into a story of hope.
4:00
SPEAKER_00: So, if you've ever wondered if your pain has a purpose, if your healing could somehow be holy ground for someone else, well this episode is for you.
4:13
SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Simply Wholehearted Podcast with Amy Wicks, your wholehearted life and business coach.
4:20
SPEAKER_00: You should know this podcast will inspire you to grow in self-awareness, be passionate about your faith, and get clear on your calling.
4:29
SPEAKER_00: If you are new here, then welcome to the community of multi-passionate women who love to go deep on topics like faith, Enneagram, relationships, leadership, and community.
4:42
SPEAKER_00: This conversation might provide the step you need to make the change you desire.
4:47
SPEAKER_00: So let's get started.
4:55
SPEAKER_00: So you might be asking, what exactly is a guide?
5:00
SPEAKER_00: Well, in every great story, in every movie, book, adventure, there's someone who shows up to help the hero find their way.
5:09
SPEAKER_00: They're typically not flashy people.
5:12
SPEAKER_00: They're rarely the loudest voice.
5:15
SPEAKER_00: They tend to carry a calm, steady wisdom.
5:18
SPEAKER_00: They've been through something though.
5:21
SPEAKER_00: They know something.
5:22
SPEAKER_00: And even when they're not set or stage, the story would not unfold the same without them.
5:29
SPEAKER_00: Think of Yoda in Star Wars.
5:31
SPEAKER_00: You know, the quirky green guy, but the wise teacher who speaks in riddles, yet always points Luke to the truth.
5:41
SPEAKER_00: Or there's Miss Stacy from Anne of Green Gables.
5:44
SPEAKER_00: She's the teacher who believed in Anne before Anne knew how to believe in herself.
5:50
SPEAKER_00: She did not try to tame Anne's imagination.
5:53
SPEAKER_00: She guided it gently and fiercely into something powerful and beautiful.
6:00
SPEAKER_00: Or maybe Mrs.
6:02
SPEAKER_00: Croft from Persuasion by Jane Austen.
6:05
SPEAKER_00: Quietly wise, yet refreshingly direct, reminding Anne Elliot that women can be brave and strong and hold the course even when others doubt them.
6:16
SPEAKER_00: Or even dear Mrs.
6:18
SPEAKER_00: Hughes from Downton Abbey, the housekeeper with deep moral clarity and the emotional intelligence to guide others without ever stealing the spotlight.
6:29
SPEAKER_00: Each one of these guides is steady.
6:31
SPEAKER_00: Each one was seasoned, each one with their own backstory of heartbreak, resilience, and grace.
6:41
SPEAKER_00: Of course, there's my favorite.
6:47
SPEAKER_00: The one Jesus promised would come after he left.
6:51
SPEAKER_00: The Holy Spirit doesn't force, doesn't shame, and just comes alongside to counsel, to comfort, and to remind you of who you are and where you are going.
7:04
SPEAKER_00: And guess what?
7:06
SPEAKER_00: You get to reflect that.
7:08
SPEAKER_00: That's right.
7:09
SPEAKER_00: A guide doesn't rescue, a guide reminds, a guide doesn't push, she walks beside.
7:16
SPEAKER_00: A guide doesn't have all the answers, but she's done enough work to ask the right questions.
7:22
SPEAKER_00: You don't have to be the hero anymore.
7:25
SPEAKER_00: You've been the hero.
7:26
SPEAKER_00: You've faced your pain, you've risen through it, and now you get to become the person you wish you had when you were in the middle of it.
7:34
SPEAKER_00: That is the sacred power of a guide.
7:37
SPEAKER_00: Not perfection, just presence.
7:40
SPEAKER_00: A life that says, I've walked this road and I'll walk it with you now.
7:47
SPEAKER_00: Over the years, of course, I've worked with so many women who came to coaching in a season of transition, typically unsure of what was next, but deeply aware that something inside them had shifted.
8:00
SPEAKER_00: Many of my clients already really enjoyed the Enneagram, maybe they even loved it.
8:07
SPEAKER_00: Most could name their type or quote their favorite podcast and typically spot a coworker's Enneagram type from a mile away.
8:16
SPEAKER_00: But it wasn't until in our sessions when we would pair the Enneagram insight with spiritual formation and soul care rhythms alongside sacred story work that the truth of who they are in Christ really began to be made clear.
8:34
SPEAKER_00: And that was what made the change and transformation possible.
8:40
SPEAKER_00: The awesome thing is as that transformation would happen and they would walk in freedom, typically most of my clients couldn't keep it to themselves.
8:50
SPEAKER_00: They would find themselves bringing it up on coffee dates and team meetings, during walks with friends.
8:55
SPEAKER_00: It wasn't preaching or pastoring.
8:57
SPEAKER_00: They were just finding themselves that they always wanted to share what they had learned and wanted to offer it to others.
9:03
SPEAKER_00: Because my friend, guess what?
9:05
SPEAKER_00: When you are healed, healing has a way of making you generous.
9:11
SPEAKER_00: And when you experience freedom, it typically makes you want to open the door for someone else.
9:18
SPEAKER_00: You want everyone to experience the same thing that you did.
9:23
SPEAKER_00: Now, there's been a lot of women in my coaching process through the years who certainly didn't set out to be coaches or guides.
9:31
SPEAKER_00: And not everyone did, but everyone became a guide in some way.
9:37
SPEAKER_00: And that would happen just by living wholehearted.
9:41
SPEAKER_00: Because that's what it means to be a guide.
9:43
SPEAKER_00: Again, it's not about having a platform or even a specific business.
9:48
SPEAKER_00: It's just about being so rooted in truth and transformation that it naturally becomes your posture and conversations and leadership and life in your home.
9:58
SPEAKER_00: If you've been listening to this series, you already know by now that the journey just doesn't end with healing.
10:05
SPEAKER_00: When you start living from a place of transformation, you naturally begin to guide others toward it.
10:11
SPEAKER_00: It's just natural.
10:13
SPEAKER_00: And of course, if you've been listening to these series, you know that I'm going to find a way to weave an Enneagram.
10:21
SPEAKER_00: You know by now that each personality type has its own gifts.
10:25
SPEAKER_00: But when those gifts have been refined by healing and spiritual formation, they really can become a guidepost for others.
10:33
SPEAKER_00: So as I walk through the Enneagram insights, I want you to listen for yourself, not for your Enneagram type or number necessarily, but I want you to listen for the invitation.
10:44
SPEAKER_00: Because every personality type, when lived wholeheartedly, reflects something truly sacred.
10:51
SPEAKER_00: And each personality has a way of doing this, not becoming something they're not, but by offering the most wholehearted version of who they already are.
11:02
SPEAKER_00: And today we're going to start with my Enneagram three friends.
11:07
SPEAKER_00: Because you guide by modeling what it looks like to live aligned with identity, not just accolades.
11:15
SPEAKER_00: When you truly stop striving and start showing up authentically, others feel free to do the same.
11:22
SPEAKER_00: God speaks through you to others, and you don't have to earn it, you just get to embody it.
11:30
SPEAKER_00: The Enneagram 4s often guide others by holding space for emotions that most people avoid.
11:39
SPEAKER_00: As an Enneagram 4, you reflect God's creativity and compassion in equal measure.
11:44
SPEAKER_00: It's truly beautiful.
11:46
SPEAKER_00: And you invite others to feel deeply and then heal deeply.
12:03
SPEAKER_00: My type five friends guide with quiet wisdom and thoughtful presence.
12:10
SPEAKER_00: As a five, you don't overwhelm.
12:12
SPEAKER_00: You offer clarity and insight exactly when it's needed.
12:16
SPEAKER_00: And here's that holy whisper or wise whisper that you carry.
12:21
SPEAKER_00: There's power in what's true and peace in what's enough.
12:27
SPEAKER_00: Ooh, that one especially speaks to me.
12:29
SPEAKER_00: I think because it's my line of growth.
12:35
SPEAKER_00: All right, my Enneagram six friend.
12:37
SPEAKER_00: You guide well through your faithfulness.
12:40
SPEAKER_00: Over time, you have learned how to trust God in uncertainty.
12:44
SPEAKER_00: And that trust, that faith in that trust becomes a refuge for others.
12:48
SPEAKER_00: Because you aren't just creating safety, right?
12:51
SPEAKER_00: Running around like a mad woman fixing everything.
12:54
SPEAKER_00: You are safety.
12:55
SPEAKER_00: You embody it.
12:56
SPEAKER_00: The Holy Spirit moves through you, saying to others, you are not alone, you are not forgotten, and we'll walk this together.
13:08
SPEAKER_00: Dear Enneagram Seven, you guide by bringing joy that's been through the fire.
13:15
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, let me tell you about that.
13:18
SPEAKER_00: Not surface sparkle, but hard won anchored delight.
13:23
SPEAKER_00: Ooh, that'll preach.
13:26
SPEAKER_00: Dear Seven, you remind others that pain isn't the end of the story, and neither is fear.
13:33
SPEAKER_00: Here's that holy whisper that will speak through you to others.
13:38
SPEAKER_00: There's still joy here, even in the anguish.
13:44
SPEAKER_00: Don't miss it.
13:48
SPEAKER_00: Enneagram eight, you guide by protecting what's good and championing those who feel unseen.
13:55
SPEAKER_00: You are strong, yes, but it's your tenderness that makes your strength trustworthy.
14:03
SPEAKER_00: That sacred voice formed in you says to others, you're safe to be strong and strong enough to be soft.
14:15
SPEAKER_00: Dear Enneagram Nine, you guide by creating spaces where others can finally exhale.
14:22
SPEAKER_00: Your grounded presence and gentle voice brings calm into chaos.
14:28
SPEAKER_00: The Holy Spirit speaks through you in this message.
14:32
SPEAKER_00: You tell others, you belong here.
14:35
SPEAKER_00: You matter.
14:37
SPEAKER_00: Stay present.
14:38
SPEAKER_00: We need you.
14:42
SPEAKER_00: Enneagram one friend, you guide others with your studied, principled clarity.
14:48
SPEAKER_00: You don't just point to the truth, you embody it.
14:52
SPEAKER_00: When you release perfection and choose grace, your presence becomes an anchor.
14:58
SPEAKER_00: The Lord speaks through you to others.
15:02
SPEAKER_00: This is what integrity looks like with love at the center.
15:09
SPEAKER_00: And dear Enneagram too, you guide with deep compassion.
15:13
SPEAKER_00: And when you've learned to receive love freely, your generosity becomes transformational.
15:20
SPEAKER_00: You don't rescue, you remind others that they are worthy of care.
15:27
SPEAKER_00: The holy whisper through you to others is that you are loved and you are not alone.
15:37
SPEAKER_00: See, you don't have to become someone else to be a guide.
15:41
SPEAKER_00: You just have to bring the wholehearted version of who God already created you to be.
15:47
SPEAKER_00: Isn't that amazing?
15:48
SPEAKER_00: I clearly am getting excited about it because no matter your type, your story, your scars, your healing journey, none of it is wasted.
15:58
SPEAKER_00: And you truly don't have to have all the answers.
16:01
SPEAKER_00: You are just invited to keep walking and then leave the light on for the one who's a few steps behind.
16:10
SPEAKER_00: Now, if you've gotten distracted here for a moment, I want you to tune in and hear something that is really important and something that I've had to learn over and over again.
16:21
SPEAKER_00: Becoming a guide doesn't mean you've graduated.
16:26
SPEAKER_00: It doesn't mean your story work is finished or that you'll never have to circle back to the earlier parts of your story.
16:34
SPEAKER_00: Please know the wholehearted journey is ongoing.
16:38
SPEAKER_00: It is truly not about arrival, it's about formation.
16:42
SPEAKER_00: A slow, sacred, spirit-led shaping that continues your whole life.
16:49
SPEAKER_00: Truly, you might find yourself walking in deep healing one moment and then triggered back into old pain the next.
16:57
SPEAKER_00: And you may be leading someone else into freedom or have led them into freedom only to realize you need to take some time to lament and repent for yourself.
17:07
SPEAKER_00: And that doesn't mean you're failing.
17:09
SPEAKER_00: It means you're human.
17:11
SPEAKER_00: It means you haven't gotten to heaven yet, and you're still in formation.
17:17
SPEAKER_00: In fact, you can read this in the Holy Scriptures all the time.
17:22
SPEAKER_00: Saul, King Saul, he was anointed and he still lost his way.
17:26
SPEAKER_00: King David was called a man after God's own heart, and yet he still became the villain in someone else's story.
17:32
SPEAKER_00: And then there was King Solomon, he was full of wisdom, and he still let his heart drift.
17:39
SPEAKER_00: But Jesus, yes, my friend, Jesus is the only perfect hero, and he left us with the Holy Spirit, the only trustworthy guide who never gives in to fear, pride, or self-protection.
17:54
SPEAKER_00: And he is the one forming you, shaping you, and walking with you in every part of your story.
18:03
SPEAKER_00: So if you feel like you've circled back to the beginning again, take heart.
18:08
SPEAKER_00: You're not behind.
18:09
SPEAKER_00: You're just still becoming surprise, you're human.
18:13
SPEAKER_00: But every time you say yes to that formation, you are creating a path that someone else can follow.
18:20
SPEAKER_00: And you are readying yourself to be that guide by the side.
18:26
SPEAKER_00: If you've listened so far and find yourself thinking, I want to live like this, I want to go deeper, I want to do the healing and eventually walk with others in freedom, then you know I would love to invite you into this journey and explore what it looks like to allow me to be your guide by the side so you can do the same for others.
18:51
SPEAKER_00: Regardless if you've already been on the hero path for a while, or you're finding yourself still in that victim or villain part of your story, the wholehearted coaching process is designed to help you get clear, free, and to keep walking ahead with purpose.
19:08
SPEAKER_00: As usual, you can find the details in the show notes so you can book a clarity call with me or to just learn more.
19:16
SPEAKER_00: Of course, I'd be more than honored to walk with you.
19:20
SPEAKER_00: Okay, my friend.
19:22
SPEAKER_00: Over these last four episodes, we've walked through each roll of your story.
19:28
SPEAKER_00: The victim, the villain, the hero, and now the guide.
19:33
SPEAKER_00: The victim needed space to lament.
19:36
SPEAKER_00: The villain needed to name where fear turned to control.
19:40
SPEAKER_00: The hero said yes, even when it was shaky and uncertain.
19:45
SPEAKER_00: And now, maybe you're starting to realize that you have also been a guide.
19:50
SPEAKER_00: Not because you have all the answers and no one does, but because you've been willing to walk the road and invite someone else.
20:00
SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're still becoming, maybe you're still circling back to lament or repentance or rising up again.
20:07
SPEAKER_00: And I don't think I can say it enough, but it doesn't disqualify you.
20:11
SPEAKER_00: It is just forming you.
20:14
SPEAKER_00: Because here's the truth: the whole hearted journey never ends in self-focus.
20:19
SPEAKER_00: It always leads us back to love, to true love, the source of love.
20:25
SPEAKER_00: And it always leads us towards someone who needs our story, our presence, our light.
20:31
SPEAKER_00: Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength, and love others as yourself.
20:39
SPEAKER_00: I am so thrilled that we've almost completed this series.
20:43
SPEAKER_00: I do still have a final blessing for you here in the end, but I want to encourage you to invite someone else to these stories, this process of discovering their story.
20:57
SPEAKER_00: And if you've been stirred by it and you've been exploring and acknowledging the different parts of your story, please tell me.
21:04
SPEAKER_00: Oh my goodness, I don't want to live in a vacuum or a silo.
21:08
SPEAKER_00: I need your input.
21:09
SPEAKER_00: I need to hear how this has stirred you.
21:12
SPEAKER_00: It makes such a big difference for my experience here with the podcast.
21:16
SPEAKER_00: I want to hear about your biggest takeaways.
21:19
SPEAKER_00: Or you can shout it out on the social media platform that you love to talk to with all your friends.
21:27
SPEAKER_00: Knowing how this series has impacted you would be so meaningful to me.
21:32
SPEAKER_00: Of course, if for some reason you're not already subscribed, of course, it's free.
21:36
SPEAKER_00: You just hit the follow button for the Simply Wholehearted podcasts.
21:40
SPEAKER_00: I want you to be sure to do it.
21:42
SPEAKER_00: Now is the time because next month I kick off the Inea Summer Mystery Series.
21:48
SPEAKER_00: And I promise you are not going to want to miss it.
21:50
SPEAKER_00: Oh, it's going to be so fun.
21:52
SPEAKER_00: All right, my friend, I have a final blessing for you.
21:56
SPEAKER_00: So wherever this conversation finds you, holding a hand, lighting a path, or simply telling the truth in love, I bless you to guide well, to walk gently, to speak clearly, and to love with your whole heart.
22:14
SPEAKER_00: Because the world doesn't need more experts and needs more witnesses, more guides, more women willing to say, I've been there and I'll walk with you now.
22:26
SPEAKER_00: This is the heartbeat of Simply Wholehearted.
22:29
SPEAKER_00: We're all broken, we're all blowing it, but the brave one, she does something about it.
22:35
SPEAKER_00: And then she helps someone else do the same.