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Family Talk: A Conversation with My Wife · Enjoying the Journey

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  In our busy world, family time is frequently neglected.
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  It is vital that we give attention to our families while we
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  can, and it is especially important to give attention to
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  what God says in his word about our homes.
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  For the next few moments, let's join Scott Pauley as we open the scriptures and
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  and find God's message for your family.
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  Hello friends, this is Scott Pauley, and I want to welcome you to Enjoying the
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  Journey. Today I have my best friend with me for this particular
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  episode. These are unique programs because we're having conversations,
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  family talk, and today Tammy is joining
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  me for a little discussion about the transitions of life,
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  and I'm so thrilled she's with me. Tammy's my best friend.
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  We met in college. We have been married
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  almost a quarter of a century now, married on Friday the 13th. That was a
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  lucky one for me. And we have 3 children that all look like their mother,
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  praise God. But Tammy's been a faithful wife and mother and a real
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  encouragement in the work God has given us to do. I want to
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  begin with a scripture before we start our conversation. It comes from one
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  of my favorite chapters in the Bible, Philippians chapter 3. The Apostle
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  Paul said in verse 13, brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended.
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  In other words, he hadn't arrived. We haven't arrived.
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  But this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind
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  and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press
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  toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ
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  Jesus. Let us therefore, as many as be perfect, be thus minded. And if in
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  anything ye be otherwise minded, God shall reveal even this unto
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  you. In other words, it's a process. On the
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  journey, there are intersections and crossroads where you make conscious decisions
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  which way you're going to go. There are also twists and turns that you didn't
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  see coming, the transitions of life. Uh, Tammy,
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  we've had a number of those. I'm sure we'll have more. But what would
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  you say are 2 or 3 of the big transitions we've lived through?
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  Well, the first one and probably the biggest one was when we got married.
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  Wait a minute, you mean you had to adjust to me? Is that what you're
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  saying? Yes. And, um, then our children, when we had our children and
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  when they started going to school, then the last one when they were
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  all in school. And of course now we're on the other side of it.
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  Our first one is going to get married in January,
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  so that's a big transition. Which means soon you're going to have a transition back
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  to just having me. That's what it means. But that's true. When you transition
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  from being single to being married, that's an adjustment. You start
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  having kids. I used to tell people, one child changes your life, 3 turns your
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  world upside down. But there are transitions in that.
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  And all along the stages of child rearing,
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  there are huge changes, and we are facing a
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  new one ourselves at this juncture. But I think one of the biggest ones you
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  and I have journeyed through together was nearly 6 years ago when God
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  led us to leave where we were to step out by faith into full-time
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  evangelistic work. That was a big transition, wasn't it? Absolutely.
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  It was very big. And not just for me, for my family.
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  I think one of the things I learned leading
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  our family through that transition was that we get
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  further along than the rest of the family.
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  I mean by that, everybody doesn't hit the transition emotionally at
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  the same time. That's right. That was instructive for me,
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  and you have to give people time to work through things. Time makes a difference,
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  doesn't it? It sure does. What would you say is one of the lessons that
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  God really taught you during that transition season?
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  Well, the first one I can think of is that God is faithful.
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  No matter where you are and where he takes you in life,
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  he's always faithful. Amen.
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  He's the same yesterday, today, and forever. That's very
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  true. What else would you say the Lord really instructed
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  you in during that time? Well, of course, to be obedient to
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  the Lord, what he's teaching you, what he wants you to do, and that
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  it might not always be easy, or it might be easy, that you just
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  be obedient to him. Yes, that's a great point. There are all kinds of transitions,
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  but if you want to boil it down and make it really simple, it's this:
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  what does God want? And if you find God's will,
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  um, how did that affect your thinking in relationship even to our children?
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  Well, the biggest thing is that if it's God's
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  will for our life, then it was God's will for their lives. That's good.
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  Yeah, I remember at a certain juncture in our decision-making
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  process arguing with the Holy Spirit, um,
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  about how this was going to affect our kids. Yes. And I still remember
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  the Lord really, really speaking to me about the fact, if it's God's will for
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  me and you, then it's God's will for them.
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  That helped me. That helped my faith. Of course,
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  now we have the beauty of hindsight, don't we? That's right.
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  That's right. You know, our— your children they
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  don't always understand what God's teaching you,
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  where, where he's leading you, and they can't see it. They can't see—
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  they can only see what they know, and so they can't see what's on the
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  other end, that it might be better, you know.
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  And so they just, they have to work for that. They have to trust God
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  for themselves. And the definitely in this transition is that God grew
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  their faith, that when there were very, very hard moments
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  I think especially with one of our children,
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  um, to see that first, that struggle
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  in her life and her doubting even
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  the Lord, who he, who he is, and then just see
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  her come out on the other side. It was like the light bulb switched on
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  and God came so real to her. So that, that was just so
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  rewarding to see. Yeah. God makes everything beautiful in his time.
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  That's right. That verse is found in the same passage in Ecclesiastes
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  that talks about to everything there is a season. And that's really what we're
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  talking about today, the seasons of life, the, the ebb and flow. And I
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  don't know who's listening today, you know, not everybody goes through the kind of transition
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  we went through, but I do think the principles
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  learned in these transition seasons would help everyone.
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  Um, I know for me, when we went through that decision-making
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  process, the move all the life change,
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  the 2 things interestingly enough that came alive to me was the Bible
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  and prayer. Yes. And isn't that interesting? It's always the basics,
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  isn't it? Always back to that relationship with the Lord.
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  So the Bible came alive to me. God started showing me things. How would you
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  say God spoke to you during that season?
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  Well, especially after we moved, that was the hardest time for
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  me. Were times I felt like my spirit
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  was grieving, and of course I really felt like the devil was working extra time.
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  And there were just, uh, I think a big thing was
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  that when I would listen to the word of God in church
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  through preachers, the— that would come so alive to me
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  that sometimes when I didn't even know exactly what to pray,
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  uh, the Lord, he would still show himself so real. So good,
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  isn't it? Yeah, and, and, and the Bible does come
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  alive, especially at the dark seasons. It's a, it's a lamp to our
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  feet, a light to our path, and God always confirms his will with
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  his word. The other, the other thing for me was prayer,
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  and I specifically remember you and I setting aside days. I think
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  it was one day a week for several months we fasted and
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  prayed, and that was a very personal thing to us.
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  Those days affected me. Did they you? Oh, absolutely. And I, I had
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  never fasted before, really. There might have been a couple of times in life before,
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  um, but I, I saw the importance of what fasting
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  does. And it strengthened our relationship. We got closer to
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  the Lord, and as we did that, we got closer to each other when we
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  did it together. Yeah. And if you're facing some major decision or dilemma
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  seeking direction, I would encourage you set aside
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  some time to fast and pray and,
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  and bring your family along in that and teach your kids to pray.
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  I was thinking about this the other day, just our kids seeing answers to
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  prayer. That's great for us to see answers to prayer, but when your kids
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  start seeing answers to prayer, it grows their faith. And we saw
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  that through, through this process. Again, none of us have arrived.
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  We're all just pressing toward the mark for the prize of the high calling.
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  Tammy, if you could give one word of encouragement, you could say
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  one thing to the people who are listening at whatever season they are in
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  life, whatever transition they're facing, what would that word of encouragement
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  be? To trust him, to know he's in control
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  and he will work through all of it. Just trust him.
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  It really is a faith life. We walk
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  by faith and not by sight. And I'm sure because we've
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  lived this, Right now, some of you can't see how you're going to get through
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  something, how it's going to be good, how the Lord's going
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  to turn it, um, what the next step is to be even.
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  But I'm telling you, if you will live by faith,
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  uh, it will be for God's glory and your good.
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  And we've seen that, haven't we? Yes, we have. We give God the praise
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  and glory for it. We appreciate so much folks praying for our family,
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  and we want you to know we're praying for your family today. That God will
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  guide you and lead you in a plain path as
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  you work through the transitions of life. God bless you, friends.
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  For more resources for your marriage and family,
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  visit us at etj.bible and click on the
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  Take the Next Step link, where you'll find many Bible resources
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  that will strengthen your marriage and equip you to raise
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  your children in the ways of the Lord.
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  We highly recommend Scott's book, New Testament Marriage.
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  In it, you'll discover timeless biblical principles from the husband
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  and wife team Aquila and Priscilla, and these principles are very
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  applicable to your marriage today. From all of us at
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  Enjoying the Journey, thanks for listening today, and until next
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  time, we pray that you will enjoy the journey.