Latest / The Rave Social Podcast / 60 Motherhood and Entrepreneurship with Mary Shelton

Transcript

60 Motherhood and Entrepreneurship with Mary Shelton · The Rave Social Podcast

• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: Hello everyone and welcome back to the Rave Social Podcast.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Jaden, and today we are cameras off with Mary.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: Not because we wanna be, but because technology hates us.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: So you guys don't get to see Mary, although she does look gorge.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I'll just like we'll put a picture over her.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: You'll love it.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I'm gonna intro Mary here and then we're gonna get going talking about um mompreneurship, which I know is a little some people don't like that.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: Some people don't like that word.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: So if you don't like that word, we're just gonna be talking about entrepreneurship as a mom and being a photographer, pivoting, and really just living our best lives.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: So Mary is a wedding photographer based in the state of Michigan, but she travels all over.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: She specializes in bespoke imagery and mentors photographers to help them create their own signature style.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: So welcome, Mary.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_02: Hey.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: We're so excited to have you.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_02: I am so happy to be here.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_02: So it's so funny.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_02: I'm really happy to be here, cameras off, which is sometimes sometimes I like I don't know if you've ever been on a Zoom call with someone and you find yourself like staring into the middle because you don't know where to look.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm like, oh wait, this is very cozy.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: I know.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, I'm looking at your um just my blank Zoom screen.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: I've never recorded like this before, but it's gonna be okay.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's everything's gonna be fine.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: Mercury's in retrograde while we're recording this, just so everyone knows.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: Like, it's not us, it is definitely Mercury.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I'm so excited to have you on today.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: Mary has been a client of ours in the past, and she's incredible, and she's kind of on a new journey.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: So we're gonna talk a little bit about that.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: But I'd love to first just ask you how has being a mom shaped the way that you run your photography business?
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh, it's changed so much, but I think the thing that it's changed the most is it's made me pretty ruthless on like what is really, really important and what matters.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_02: What I've noticed with having kids is every second matters, and you really can't afford to lose time in certain places or to waste your time.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_02: So I've been pretty ruthless on just not getting lost in too much busy work and just being as effective as I possibly can.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that makes so much sense.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not a mom, but I love talking to moms and getting your take on how businesses are run because I just feel like sometimes I get so overwhelmed.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I think having the perspective of being a mom can be so helpful with cutting the fat in your business.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what matters, what doesn't, where should my energy be going?
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm not gonna worry about this client problem that I have because my kids are way more important.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I just think there's so much to learn from moms who are entrepreneurs.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you guys have a different level of understanding that the rest of us kind of don't, to be honest.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_02: Honestly, we all have that little bit of understanding.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_02: It's just whether we listen to it or not, is completely honest.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_02: And one thing, and I know it's something that we've talked about a bit is sometimes I just don't go with my gut and what matters, and you end up on this ongoing cycle or this hamster wheel of trying to figure things out.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_02: When if you would have just gone with your gut to begin with, you would have waited, you would have wasted way less time.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_02: And that is so real effective.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_02: So that's something that I know I avoided a lot in my early stages of motherhood, even up to now sometimes, but it's something that I'm really into as much as I possibly can moving forward.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, building that muscle is hard.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: It's like it's the logic can like the your logic mind wants to beat out your intuition a lot of times when like your intuition is literally smarter.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: Like your there's nothing wrong with your logical mind either, but it can just it can keep you stuck because of the fears of the what-ifs of all of that.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: And like your gut can just be like, forget the fears and the what-ifs, and this is what you need to be doing.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: Just listen to me.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: I promise.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so I'm curious what boundaries you have had to set to protect time with your family while running a wedding photography business and mentorship, especially because you, in at least in the past, have been a destination photographer.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: So you traveled a ton last busy season.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I'm just curious, how did you how did you have good boundaries and how did you manage that?
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_02: If I'm being completely honest, it's something that I'm still figuring out in real time all the time.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_02: Um, there's definitely some things that I've set up to set those boundaries.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, like you said, I travel a lot.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_02: I'm based in Michigan, but this year I only have one wedding in the state of Michigan all year.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_02: And yeah, the way that I've set up that boundary is I don't work a wedding more than two weekends a month.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_02: So then I have two weekends that are completely off and set for my family.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_02: Um last year, normally I have a boundary of that I don't work in the month of July because for people who don't live in Michigan, Michigan in the summer is the best place to be in the entire world.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_02: And I continually have missed out on that with my family, my friends, and you can get to a lake in Michigan in that 45 minutes, no matter where you are.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_02: Um so I missed out on a lot of that last year.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_02: I did not listen to that boundary, but it's okay.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_02: I ended up in Italy, so I'm not gonna be too bad at myself.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_02: But this way I held that boundary, and I'm super excited for that downtime.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_02: Um but yeah, it's really just it's really just protecting the boundary of my home.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_02: Um so that when the workday's done, it's like actually done.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_02: I think it's really hard for people who are entrepreneurs to really check out and shut things down.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_02: One thing that helped a ton was you gifted me the best thing I've ever had in my entire life with breath.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm so eternally thankful for it.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_02: And I just cut out of as many apps that I can without spiraling.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_02: And just so that I can shut down my day and walk out and be done.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I feel like it can be so challenging to not stay firm to your boundaries when I mean, let's just be honest, when like money comes into the picture, because it's like, am I gonna turn down this$7,000 wedding for a nice summer day?
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I am, but that's hard, you know?
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like that is so hard to say, it's so hard to stick to your boundary when sometimes it can be tempting to be like, well, that's a whole trip to freaking Italy, you know?
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's so much money, but um ultimately, like money, it's just it's not the most important thing.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like your family, your like memories, those core memories are so much they're worth so much more than that wedding.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, and you know how you can just be physically home, but like mentally absent.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_02: There's so many times where I'm sitting at home and my mind is in another place, so I'm missing out on everything, even though I'm just sitting here.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_02: And yeah, I'm such a multi, I'm fascinated by so much, so I get lost in the sauce all the time.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_02: Um, like not only do I have like my kids and then I have my business, but then I mentor other people, and I also coach a high school sport, so like my brain is never in the same place.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I'm pretty sure this is the first time we're taking a call at a table.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_02: Nine times out of ten.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_02: I think any call we've taken, I'm sitting in a parking lot with my seatbelt on on a Zoom call, and it was like me and me and page talking, and I'm like, sorry guys, I'm in the middle of two separate things, but I'm giving you all my energy right now for this call.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: Do you feel like I'm curious your take on this?
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, I do feel like boundaries obviously so important, but I also feel like sometimes people can set boundaries that are so rigid that it doesn't allow them to like they're almost so rigid that it makes them like not be able to like have fun or be present or like take the wedding in Italy last summer.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: Like there has to be some flexibility, and I'm just curious like how you approach that.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_02: Um, honestly, it's again just listening to my gut and what I'm being called to.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I think we all have a calling, and whether we run run towards it or away from it is honestly whether that boundary needs to be there or not.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_02: But I also think that society gives us certain boundaries that we're quote unquote supposed to have.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_02: Some people love the grind and they love just like diving into things and projects and being laser focused.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I would want, for example, a pilot to have that no boundary of being laser focused on something.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_02: So I think we all have separate boundaries based on our gifts.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_02: And one way that I I'm able to work that boundary on a wedding day, you know, like yes, I'm able to release my boundaries and just kind of fall into being creative.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_02: So all of us are different.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_02: I think just understanding what we're called to and following that is the root of happiness and making sure that you're centered and in that case, it doesn't really feel like a boundary anymore because you're listening to yourself.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: That's so true.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I think when you think about brown boundaries in terms of like art and creation, not maybe not necessarily boundaries about like, I won't take a wedding on this day, like that that type of boundary is one thing, but I think boundaries around your art can be so helpful and actually help you create better.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: Like I know when I have bad boundaries with clients, I have a much harder time diving into content and writing really good content because my mind is in a million places and I'm trying to add this on, and I'm trying to take on too many clients or whatever it is in my business, and that ends up being not helpful.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_02: No, no, and I think you also just need to know that, like, sometimes you just need to know that being sick of something that's also a boundary.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_02: Like you you do something because you've poured so much of your life into it, and then all of a sudden you don't want to do it, like you need to have the boundary to say no.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I'm being called to something else.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_02: I need to move into a different direction.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah, I feel like there's so many different types of boundaries.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_02: It's just it doesn't always have to be yes or no, doing this, doing that.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's yeah, it can be a pivot.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, which actually, like, that's that's a question that I have for you.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_00: So you've kind of pivoted in your business, and recently, like you've just had some big life changes, and the way your business looks this year is different from what it looked like last year.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm curious how you evolved that.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_00: Like, how did you shift your boundaries?
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: How did you shift your where your attention was going so that you could do what you wanted?
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_02: I think it was multiple, like you said, it was multiple things that were happening at the same time.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_02: Um one being just really thinking about the creative side of my business.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_02: Um, us as artists, we evolve all the time, you know.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_02: Just when you think of artists having different periods and the way that they would create art and what their art looked like at different at different points in their lives, and um just through the journey of that and unplugging, I really just jump into what I was inspired by, and it it started happening in the middle of the wedding season, the past season, and it's hard because you you have something that you've been working towards, like I just said before, like you've been working towards for like multiple years to like hug it and create this one style, and then you start getting pulled into a completely different direction, and you're trying to go against it, but you're like, But my gut and my creativity is pulling me towards it, yeah, and then um for a second I wasn't listening to it, and then I was like, you know what?
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I need to just pause everything, you know, um completely jump off online, go zero dark three.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_02: Just be in the pit and just like let things come to me, and um, through that, I'm like super excited about this next wedding season because I'm building on the creativity I had last year into this next one.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_02: But I also a lot of my other friends in the industry were asking me like what's going on, and you can tell that things are changing, and just talking to them about that and realizing that there's a lot of other people who are in the same angle space that I'm in.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_02: And so the other half of that was really it was something I was doing for free, and I wasn't upset about doing it.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_02: And yeah, usually when for me, when I'm in that scenario, when I'm continually doing something outside of the time that I have for free, but I'm not upset about it, upset about it in any way possible, and I just want to keep doing it, that means that that's where I'm supposed to be.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_02: And so I started diving into helping people covet their style, figure out what it is that they're truly drawn to, kind of just taking out social and what everybody else is doing out of the mix and diving into that.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_02: And yeah, so that's just caused me to pivot into some other things that I'm really, really excited about that's moving forward.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_00: I love that your gauge is like, I want to do it, like I would do it for free.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's how much I love it.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: I would do it for free, which like I love that you also know that then that means like you could and you should like charge money for that.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_00: Because like I think a lot of times it starts the other way.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, how could I make money off this?
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: How could I make money off this?
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_00: But instead, you're coming from a place of like I would do this for free, but I know it's valuable, so I'm gonna do it for free until I know and I'm ready to make it into like a paid offer.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_00: There's so much, there's so much to be said about that because I just feel like in this world, people are so they just want money so bad, which I don't because like it's hard to come by these days, it feels like that.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_00: So I really do understand that, and you should be compensated for your work.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_00: But I think using the gauge of like, but I love this so much, I would do it for free is like a beautiful place to start.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and it's it was a signal I honestly couldn't ignore.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_02: Uh yeah.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_02: So I've been building, building it out, and I'm calling it the visual voice, and it really is just a place where other photographers, creatives of any genre really, like really honing into what visually they're attracted to and finding a way to hold, like to hold that to them, you know, and how not get lost in the next or not get lost to the sauce.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_02: And one way that that kind of started up is a couple photographers were reaching out to me asking me about like how I tonally change things um in like the HSL panels and other things.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, you know, like as much as I want to give you the answer on how I edit, and I am not uh I don't gatekeep in any way, shape, or form.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_02: Um I want you to decide what it is you want to do and how you want to do your work, not based off of how somebody else wants to do work.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, like I love the perspective of yes, I could teach you exactly how I do what I do, but then it wouldn't be yours, it would be mine.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and so like how can you make it yours, you know?
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_02: Like, how can you like this one thing that I do, but like how can we take this one thing that I do and make it something that you do, you know?
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, which is so hard.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_00: I think like it's hard to be a creative and find your own voice because I mean when anyone starts, they are the you kind of start as a copycat, no matter what.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I think like we love to shame people for that, but that's how everyone starts is like you see something you like, you try to replicate that.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_00: Like it happens in music, it happens in photography, it happens in business, it happens anywhere.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_00: And then the next step is a hard step.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's the one where you have to figure out what your own style is and how you want to approach what you're doing.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I even had it within my own business, and it wasn't a visual creation, but it was a creation of how I wanted to run my business and support my clients, and it was so different than all the other social media managers that I was like, oh, is this even gonna work?
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_00: Like, are people even gonna, you know, agree with me on this or want to pay me to do this?
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_00: And it's the same thing in photography.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_00: Like, that is the next step, and it's the riskier one, and it can be really scary.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's super scary, and it's even just like how you present yourself, you know.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I feel like I know this is something that everybody's talking about online right now, but like I feel like we've lost our whimsy, you know, like everybody's being so serious and like boxing ourselves, boxing everyone in into these little compartments.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_02: And it's like at one point in time, everybody was not, I wouldn't say everybody was doing it their thing, but there was so much variety, and I mean not to quote Beyoncé, but a genre is just a construct to keep us all into our boxes, you know, like it's it's like I want to stretch myself, and well, I think one thing that made me realize it, and it's gonna be so random when you think of um when you think of what I will reference in the situation, considering I'm a white photographer.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_02: I started watching a lot of movies with my three hands, like so many movies, so many movies for so many different um directors and but then I started leaning more into cinematographers and like what cinematographers mean what movies, and what movies did they find to be the most important to them?
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_02: And one, and it's gonna sound crazy, I know I'm gonna sound crazy when I say this, but like I have to be true to myself at this moment.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_02: Um the cinematography of sinners was one of the most inspiring things for me for this wedding season, and I can't explain it other than not don't think of vampires and all that other job.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_02: Like just if you watch the movie and just see how the complexity of like how it was captured, and if you took that complexity and made it into somebody's wedding instead from that viewpoint, like that would be so bananas, you know.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_02: Like there's just so many ways to be inspired by so many different things, so you don't have to only look at what's popping up online in that moment, like there's so many other ways that you can figure it out.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's like it's so freaking like it's so cliche, and it I know these people have heard this a million times, but it's like get off the internet, like get off the internet if you want to be inspired.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_00: I can't tell you how many times I've watched a movie and been like there that's a content idea, like, and it doesn't make sense, but it's it's just you learn things by having variety in what you consume.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_00: And if all you're consuming is carousels, infographics, reels, tick tocks, you're not on you're not seeing the depth of what's possible, especially when it comes to like creating legitimate art.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and I uh the other hard part with being a creative or just running a business in general and looking at what everybody else is doing, you everybody feels like they have to fit in, like they have to quote unquote fit in with everybody else.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and that is not necessary, you know.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_02: Um in order to treat sometimes people who run a business like you have to be the hard-nosed one, and so like you can't always fit in with everybody else.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_02: So if you took it out of just like the photography space and you're an entrepreneur and you're running a company, like you can't treat you sometimes, you have to be the hard one, and so but everybody wants to fit in, and so they go back and forth with that thought process and that mindset.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_00: So well, it's just it can feel so risky to stand out because it creates a visibility thing for people.
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_00: Um it you could people could not like it.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like if you try if you try something new, it's risky.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's why so many people play it safe, is because maybe people don't like it.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: Your editing style, like straight up, and that can feel it because it's art, it can feel so personal.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_00: Personal, it's really hard to be like, this isn't about me.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_00: They be them not liking me isn't about me, you know.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_02: No, no, and we don't have to identify ourselves with our work, you know.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and that is a lesson that I learned a long time ago.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_02: Uh I played four years of college of college volleyball, and you spend your whole life dedicating yourself to that sport, and when you're done, you think, what is the important thing about me?
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I'm not that important.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_02: Like, the only reason why I was important, the only reason why people like me is because I played the sport or I excelled in the sport, and you're just like, whoa, girl, like there's so many other things going on that you have interest in outside of just this one thing.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_02: So I think another way to be super successful with your job is to not your identity isn't your job.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_02: Like that's that doesn't dictate whether you're a good person, bad person, cool person, not cool person.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I've I've met a lot of cool people who are CPAs, and to me, that's a really boring job.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_02: So, like it doesn't matter at all.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_00: No, and you're separate from your art, you're also separate from your business.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_00: I think like it's a crossover.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like, um, I've done this before too, like gotten so identified with my business that we are one in the same.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_00: And so when a client leaves or somebody doesn't like their content or whatever the hell can happen.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_00: Somebody leaves a bad comment on my post, like it can feel so personal, but it's not me.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_00: Like, it's not me, you know.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_00: This is my business.
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_00: I do the best job that I possibly can.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_00: But at the end of the day, like someone not liking working with me or whatever, like it's not about me.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_00: And it just like it's so hard to separate yourself from that, but I do think like it's a thief of joy.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_00: Like, it will get you spiraling, it will get you thinking way too much about stuff that doesn't matter if you don't have honestly those boundaries with yourself that like you're you're separate.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, exactly.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I'm so curious.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_00: You said that you left to go live in the light.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I know you've been in your whimsy.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_00: You've been in your whimsy, and I love that for you.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just curious, what does that mean to you and your business?
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_02: Um it means it's okay to be seen.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_02: Um and like when I say it's okay to be seen, it's like it's okay to be seen like your like your the raw version of yourself, you know.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_02: Um I think it's like and it's also just like not hiding what you're good at.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_02: Um and it's something that reminded me especially with sports and stuff, is uh when you're good at something in sports, you kind of flex it.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_02: It's okay.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_02: Like it's okay to be really good at something.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_02: You don't have to like pretend like you're not, or you don't have to pretend like you're less than.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_02: Um and it's super easy to stay small and like stay quiet and not think that you know you're doing well at because sometimes it feels safer um than being seen for wanting more and to be bigger.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_02: Um yeah, it's something that I'm really trying to focus on there and realizing that I don't have to limit my personality or limit myself to to fit a mold.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_02: I'm yeah, it's like you feel like in order to be taken seriously, you have to be serious, but I honestly am not serious and I don't take much seriously.
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_02: I take my art and my craft seriously, but like outside and like serving my clients seriously, but like outside of those lines, I'm not a very serious person.
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_00: I don't look into stuff too much.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like our I feel like it's our perspective on seriousness that's kind of funny.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you know, serious is kind of like it's kind of vague, you know.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like a surgeon is gonna be serious, but like we're not doing surgery.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, how serious does it need to be?
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna like your client journey, your client experience could be dialed, and it still doesn't have to be like serious.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's not like life or death, you know?
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that kind of impacts people's nervous systems when like you're running a photography business like a surgeon or you're running a social media business like a surgeon.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_00: It's like there, I'm not a freaking like I didn't go to medical school for a reason.
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't want to do that.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, why am I building that prison for myself?
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, but also if you talk to surgeons, like they practice so much so that then when they're doing the surgery, it feels light.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_02: Like, yeah, it's like it's when you've done something so much that you feel so comfortable and so sure of yourself with, it will feel light.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_02: It won't feel intense.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_02: There'll be intense moments.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_02: There's high pressure moments in high pressure states, you know.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, like I feel those high pressure states.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_02: I'm loading images of people's most important day of their life, and I need to protect that, you know.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_00: But hence why she backs them up in the car on her way.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, like I'm literally in the car and like doing it or during dinner and like loading stuff, but like I have systems for that, you know, and I have plans for that.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_02: Just like if you were a surgeon, you have systems for that.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_02: And it's not that you're taking the job not seriously because you have something important in your hands, but it feels light because it's something one you like doing and you love doing, and it's something that you've prepared yourself for, you know.
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_02: Like I think if I like for these with the example with the surgeon, and if I had a surgeon who was so serious that they could only be type A and not type B being like if shit went south, they couldn't figure it out.
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_02: I don't want you there either.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_02: So like that's so true.
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_00: The like the duality.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, like if you don't know how to pivot, I don't want you working on it either.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_02: So like we have a problem.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_02: We have a problem, but then it's so the seriousness of it sometimes doesn't work, you know, and sometimes you need an outlet to not be serious because yeah, it there's a lot of pressure in the situation, yeah.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but it's also just like not performing, you know, it's yeah, it's doing what's natural, doing what's natural and and not hiding from what's yeah, I know that a lot of my friends tell me that when I'm on my tangents and I ramble, it's gonna be their favorite person in the world.
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, when you reach flow state.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_02: When I reach my verbal world, I build more flow state where I'm just like having mini monologues by myself.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_02: I know that that's my flow state.
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_02: I had in the past I've tended to run away from it, and so moving forward the way that I'm planning on presenting myself in this new era of myself, as we call it, or this new genre of myself.
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I'm not gonna run away from it because that's where I feel comfortable, that's where I feel confident.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_02: So, like, why run away from it?
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_02: So that's my version of I love that being in the light is just like I'm not gonna run away from it anymore.
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_02: It's a complete waste, and it's a waste of my time on this rotating speck of a rock.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, like I'm gonna own my soul's purpose and just go all in with it.
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_00: I love that so much.
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um, we have a few more minutes, so I wanted to ask you um, what's one thing you wish you'd known earlier in your photography journey?
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I would say I would honestly say that your taste is a business strategy and not a liability.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_02: Like I have a very specific taste.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_02: I have um I have a very specific aesthetic, and I thought that not fit being fitting for the masses was going to be an issue, but the more I lean into my taste, the more I realize that it's not a liability, it's definitely a strength, and it's important to be as specific about the clients I wanted and having a real my own personal point of view of the world.
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_02: And honestly, being generic is super forgettable, um, so then it's way easier to it's being generic is super forgettable, forgettable, but being specific is way more findable.
• 31:12
  SPEAKER_02: And yeah, if if if someone wants something, they're gonna go look for it.
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_02: And if you are holding to yourself and you are what they want, they will find you.
• 31:22
  SPEAKER_02: But if I'm gonna be generic and do something for the masses, like I'm just lost in the mix.
• 31:27
  SPEAKER_02: Like nobody's I'm gonna be very forgettable, forgettable to a lot of different people.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, I love that so much.
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I'm curious what lights you up the most about your business and life right now.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what are you just like hell yeah about?
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_02: My gosh, in business, um, probably I'm super lit up on my like clarity.
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_02: Um, yeah.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_02: Um just feel like it's so clear and I know exactly what I want and exactly what I want to move towards.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, through hustling for so long just to find that even ground, and I feel like I found um I finally like I've been I'm still climbing towards the mountaintop, but I've finally like reached a plateau for right now until I'm ready to make the next ascent.
• 32:17
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I love I feel like I'm really enjoying the people who I have made like custom presets for, like really watching them fall in love with editing again.
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_02: Um and that's super exciting, especially in the world of AI where like nobody's really editing their images anymore, which is fine because hey, we all need time with our families and doing other things, but just seeing people being more excited to do that.
• 32:43
  SPEAKER_02: And in life, I would say just doing things on my own terms and being very sure of myself about it.
• 32:53
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know what about 35 it was, but the day I turned 35, I gave two shits about everything.
• 32:59
  SPEAKER_02: Like I'm like, none of this really matters, other than the time that I have on this earth with the people that are most important doing things that I want.
• 33:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 33:08
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so really being into that definitely has me super excited for whatever this year brings.
• 33:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'm so excited to see everything that you do, um, or don't do because you're prioritizing yourself.
• 33:25
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm just excited to watch your journey and see what decisions you make, and obviously all the concerts that you're gonna go to.
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, bro.
• 33:34
  SPEAKER_02: Jay-Z just dropped that concert at Yankee Stadium the other day, and I'm trying to conjure up some money, but I know Beyonce's gonna go on touring like another year, so I'm like, uh I love that.
• 33:47
  SPEAKER_02: It's messing with my mind and my pocket at the same time.
• 33:51
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 33:53
  SPEAKER_00: Um, okay, one last question for you, and it is what is one piece of advice you wish you could give your younger self?
• 34:02
  SPEAKER_02: Um stop waiting to feel ready because you're never ready.
• 34:08
  SPEAKER_02: Um the thing I keep on like the things that you try and edit out because you want to fit in and think that that's the version that the world needs to see you.
• 34:22
  SPEAKER_02: It's not.
• 34:23
  SPEAKER_02: Um, you're way cooler if you don't.
• 34:26
  SPEAKER_02: And my younger self, if I didn't like go back to my high school self, I'd be like, you are way cooler than than you possibly could imagine.
• 34:35
  SPEAKER_02: So you just need to like lean into it.
• 34:37
  SPEAKER_02: And make sure not to throw out any of your clothes because they're really popular right now.
• 34:43
  SPEAKER_00: Literally, I was in like Tilly's the other day and I was like, what are these miss me jeans?
• 34:48
  SPEAKER_00: And then I was like, I used to pay like$200 for these, and they're like$70.
• 34:53
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, wow, times have changed.
• 34:55
  SPEAKER_02: Dude, I'm like, you don't don't let your mom throw out anything because Calvin Klein's coming back, and do not throw out a single thing because you probably could sell it on eBay for so much money, right?
• 35:08
  SPEAKER_00: I know or Depop.
• 35:10
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so with you.
• 35:11
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just like money.
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my god.
• 35:14
  SPEAKER_00: Like, and what do you do?
• 35:15
  SPEAKER_00: You can't keep everything forever, but it always is like, man, I wish I kept that.
• 35:20
  SPEAKER_02: Well, and I'm so mad because I got rid of it.
• 35:22
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, nobody else is wearing it, so it's not cool.
• 35:25
  SPEAKER_02: Like, girl, you all had taste, you had taste.
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I I look back on it now.
• 35:31
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I was wearing I was wearing Captain Korn dresses to my homecoming dances.
• 35:36
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, nobody was wearing them, but like I was like, lean into yourself, you know.
• 35:42
  SPEAKER_00: I love that perspective so much, and like the fact that it's like the clothes, it was just iconic.
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_02: No, it's like girl, you are so top tier.
• 35:52
  SPEAKER_02: Like, don't do this.
• 35:53
  SPEAKER_02: Like, what are you doing?
• 35:55
  SPEAKER_02: That's what I mean.
• 35:55
  SPEAKER_02: Like, you're way cooler than you think you are.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I honestly, as you get older and you feel like you don't know who you who you are, I just tell myself and tell people that I'm the 16-year-old version of myself as if I have money now.
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_02: So, like, that's literally what's happening in my head at this point.
• 36:14
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my god, I love that.
• 36:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's so true.
• 36:17
  SPEAKER_00: Is there anything else you wanna share about like with any upcoming projects or anything like that?
• 36:23
  SPEAKER_02: Um, you know, I'm really excited about the visual voice, and I'm really excited about helping photographers like really honey on their editing style.
• 36:32
  SPEAKER_02: And we've got it all mapped out so that uh not only can I help them find their editing style, but help them create custom presets for them to be able to use it and be effective in their business.
• 36:48
  SPEAKER_02: Um and I feel like that's something that is very different because then you can go on the journey yourself and really figure things out for yourself.
• 36:58
  SPEAKER_02: I'm super excited by the time this comes out, uh be photography families again.
• 37:04
  SPEAKER_02: I really have missed uh being in front of like families and levels and doing my own perspective on like the family journey.
• 37:13
  SPEAKER_02: And yeah, there's just it's just finding it.
• 37:17
  SPEAKER_02: I'm just finding my love for all of it again and realizing that I don't have to stick in one genre anymore, and I can just photograph anything, everything.
• 37:28
  SPEAKER_02: And yeah, we're really excited.
• 37:31
  SPEAKER_00: I love that so much.
• 37:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, um, we'll link Mary's everything so you guys can have access to it.
• 37:37
  SPEAKER_00: And if um her new offer is out, we'll link that as well.
• 37:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but yeah, thank you so much for being on the podcast and sharing your thoughts and you're so inspiring.
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_00: And just thank you for sharing your light with us.
• 37:52
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you for having me.
• 37:53
  SPEAKER_02: It was an awesome time.
• 37:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I had a great time.
• 37:56
  SPEAKER_00: We'll we'll talk to you later.
• 37:59
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, bye.