Latest / Generations Church / Relationship Series 2024 - Part 1: We Are Made for Relationships | Andy Yeoh

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Relationship Series 2024 - Part 1: We Are Made for Relationships | Andy Yeoh · Generations Church

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Hey, you welcome to the Generation's Church podcast. We pray you will be
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blessed by this message today. I made a word of God both encourage and
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challenge you to be all God purpose you to be. Now, let's dive
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right in. The title of today's message is simply this. We are made
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for relationships. Relationships are so important, not just relationship. This is why
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doing relationships well because many people don't know how to do it well, and
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many don't have God the third cord in their relationship to keep them strong.
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And we who are part of God's family and God's Church, we have and
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we have we have something. We have the Word of God to guide us.
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We have the Holy Spirit to be there for us. I think,
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come on, come on, church. We we should be able to model
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out what a healthy godly relationship should be. I'm not saying we need to
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be perfect. There will never be a perfect relationship, but we can model
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up. Amen. The more I go out there and I meet these students,
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the more I realized, Wow, this world is a broken place and
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most of the issue is relational issue. Yeah, relational issue. I didn't
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meet one student who's got both parents in that we're talking about seventy students at
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his camera. It's quite mad, quite mad. So I think we need
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to be determined to do relationships. Well, Amen, God made relationships.
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It's his design. Therefore there is his way to do it. And if
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we follow his way, we will tend to be blessed. So God made
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relationships and God made us for relationships. The scripture show us that God designed
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us for relationship, and he did so through introduces himself in scriptures through relational
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languages, over and over again. Yeah, let's look at some scriptures.
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John Tree was three to four for God sent him and he speaks God's words
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since he gave his spirit without measure. The Father loves the son. You
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can study all religions in the world. I think Christianity is the only one
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that calls God father and the Father calls his son. Yeah, very relational
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language. You can see God's intention and what He's trying to do. Matew
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nineteen, Go therefore, make disciples our nations. Baptism in the name of
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the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit very often mentioned in one sentence,
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although there are one God, but almost like it's there to portray a
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relationship, a loving relationship for us to see John fifteen fifteen. I do
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not call you slaves anymore because a slave doesn't know what his master is doing.
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Your friends, Amen, God has called us friend again, another relational
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language. It tells us how God wants to relate to us and tells us
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how much relationship ranks in his mind. It's high if it's in five twenty
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five to twenty seven and then two thirty three. Husband, love your wives.
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Of course, this is a message to the husband, right, But
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then God relates it to the church, as Christ loved the church. So
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in this picture Christ is the bridegroom the husband, the Church is the bride
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the wife. Again, God is trying to show us that he wants us
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to be in relationship. Amen, and look at us thirty two. This
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mystery is profound, and I'm saying that he refers to Christ and the Church.
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So God is explaining his own analogy. Revelations nineteen seven. Let us
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rejoice and exult and give him glory for the marriage of the lamb. Who's
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the lamb, Jesus Christ has come and his bride who's the bride us?
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Oh? Again, this picture of relationship and marriage and love Isaiah fifty five,
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Verse four, for your maker. If it's not direct enough, God
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says, for your maker is your husband. The Lord of Hosts is his
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name. And the Holy One of Israel is your redeemer, the God of
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the whole earth. He is called Amen. God is a husband, we
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the church. He's bride again. Relationship, marriage, love, intimacy.
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God wants this, Amen, So I think we should be determined to do
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relationship as well. How do you like to how many of you have been
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in an elevator before? An elevator? Okay? Good? Elevators are unusual
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places, right, especially crowded ones. Crowded elevators. Once you go in,
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you're packed like Suddin's and you're pretty much close, like standing inches away
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from people you don't know, oh goad right, and you try not to
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touch them, no matter how crowded, try not to touch them. You
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have your back blocking you, or your groceries blocking you, or something or
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you something like or your puppy. Okay, you try, and nobody talks
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to each other. You're like inches away and you don't even like, Hey,
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how are your house? The weather? You don't You're trying not to
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look at anyone. You try to look up or look at the number with
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my floor, or I'm on the eighty a floor. Oh my gosh,
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how long more have you ever noticed this? Two people talking walking into the
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leaf and then they stopped talking. The most awkward place on earth is the
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elevator. Strange things, strange things go on in elevators, you know.
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I read I read a story There was a bunch of crazy bunch of friends,
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very crazy friends are They love to joke around and all that, and
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uh they bb three four all them and they were talking and joking and laughing,
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and then they were about to go into an elevator. The door opened
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and it was crowded, but they squeezed themselves in anyway. Okay, the
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last guy, his name is Jimbo. So one by one of the friend
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went into a crowded elevator. The last guy stepped in and the door closed
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and he had no room to turn around. So he's like facing everybody,
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and then his mouth very big and said, ah, y'all must be wondering
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what this meeting is for. And everybody burst out laughing and burst out laughing
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and had a good time. And the whole atmosphere that live change now in
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many respects. That elevator story. That picture is a microcosm of our society.
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You know, our world is a large place. It's large by its
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impersonal. We walked past each other every day. There's anonymity, there's isolation,
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and people are trying to be independent from each other. It shows that
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people can be surrounded by lots and lots of people and still be lonely.
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Yep, you know what I'm talking about. People can be surrounded by other
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people in a crowded setting and not experienced community. We can be part of
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a company, we can be part of a club. We can even be
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part of a church and still not feel belonged nor feel accepted. How often
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have you heard that I don't feel belong here, I don't feel accepted.
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Nobody talk to me. The pastor didn't smile like me, he didn't shake
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my hand. Oh you're the pasta everybody except me? Oh my gosh,
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when is it going to be my ten? I'm gonna get now one days
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soon. Even in the church, right, you know, in the church,
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even in your gig, in your small group of eight people, even
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sometimes in a small group or that you can still feel alienated. Because recently,
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someone just told me that someone just told me he feels different than everybody
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else in the small group. I could not relate. I didn't have the
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same experiences and more importantly, dating have the same experiences as me. So
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I feel like I'm an outsider small group. This is our world. This
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is our world. Eight billion people on Earth, and people are lonely and
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alone. You know, Paul was someone who traveled everywhere. He was born
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in Tasars, He was educated in Jerusalem. He lived in Damascus. He
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spent his formative time in the desert. He moved to Antioch, and then
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there was only the beginning. Professionally, he ventured out from Antioch onto three
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extensive missionary campaigns, traveling from city to city. You hear about someone like
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that, you think, wow, he must have very good relationship because he's
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always traveling, always moving. But you can read from his letters that he
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was someone who invested in relationship and has very very close relationship intimate ones.
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Right wherever he went, he would establish groups or bands of people that would
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huddle together and in the will become very supportive and encouraging community. So Paul,
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although he was quite nomadic, seems to me looks like to me someone
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who understood the power of relationship, the power of depth of relationship, and
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he built that wherever he went. Amen, Now how was he able to
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create such significant relationships? First Testilonians two, verse seven to eight gives us
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some clues. All right, he said, So Paul Paul is writing.
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Yeah, he's writing to the Testilonians. It's one of his most personal letters.
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If you read the letter, it's very personal. He said this.
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Although we could have been a burden as Christ's apostles, instead, we were
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gentle among you as the nursing mother nurtures her own children use very descriptive language
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versus it. We cared so much for you that we were pleased to share
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with you not only the Gospel of God, but also our own lives because
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because you have become dear to us. Can you see how personal it is?
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Now? Can I? Can I gonna bring you here? In generation
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Church? There are two things that we want to use as our metrics of
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whether something is successful or not. Okay, and it's not attendance. It's
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not how many ministries you serve, No one of those things, not one
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of those easy things to measure if you if it's attendance, you came or
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you didn't come yourself or you don't self right, ours is these two things
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number one quality of relationships and two quality of conversations. That's a metrics.
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We look at these two things to see whether your small group is successful or
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not. Now it's quite hard to measure, like, how do you know
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whether there's quality relationship or not? How do you know whether it's quality conversation
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or not? We are still figuring that out. But this is what we're
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naim for. That's we're so far resisted from putting a number as our target.
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With so far resisted from any kind of that kind of a structural,
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kind of a numerical target, because I think once we put that up there,
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our minds are kind of like directed that way, and we don't want
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that. We want our mind to be directed towards quality of relationships and qualitic
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conversations. Now, if you're asking pastor how to measure, how to know
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good? If you're asking that question, it's good, That means it worked.
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Your mind is now there, as opposed to, Hey, your gig
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must grow to twenty by end of this month, then your mind is there.
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Your mind is about how to add one more person to our group by
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this week, and some will do it with very good intentions, some just
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want to add a number. Right, But now I'm asking you to aim
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for quality of relationships and quality of conversations. Now you may not have the
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step one to three, four, five, sixty seven, but at least
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your mind is in that direction. That's what we want in this charch we
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hope to have. In other words, we can also call it depth of
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relationship, depth of conversation. How deep is that relationship? How deep is
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that conversation? Can this be our measure? Can our minds at least be
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in that direction, even if you don't know what the ruler is? But
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let's move in this direction. Amen. Now, three things I want to
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say about how we were made for relationships and how are we to do this?
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Three simple things. Number one, we need to concede our need for
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others. That means stop thinking you can do this on your own. Maybe
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you can, but you're not designed away. Yeah, just that I could
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use a hammer to scook noodles. I could. It's got the whole right,
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I mean, it's it's good enough. I can eat noodles, but
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it's you can you can use the hammer to eat your part of me.
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Yes, but if not designed for Pannie, and you will never be the
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best tool for Pannie. It will never be as good as your chopsticks or
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your fock. You can so you can do this on your own, but
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you're not designed to be that way. It's much better if we all just
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consider, just admit and say, yes, we need each other. Amen.
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Just as a child needs a mother, we need each other, amen,
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one way or another. In another letter, Paul identified this need to
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belong to each other when he said in First Corintance twelve, So the eye
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cannot say to the hand, I don't need you, nor again the head
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to the feet, I don't need you. You can't say that. On
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the contrary, all the more, those parts of the body that seem to
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be weaker are necessary, your pinky finger, your appendix. Jesus. Paul
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used this language Church the body. We need each other. Amen. Nobody
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is a finger alone. You can't survive that way. This need for others
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is rooted deep within our souls. It's part of us. God planet that
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way, and that's why God said it is not good for men to be
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alone. It's not good for men to be alone. He's not just husband
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and wife and romantic relationships. It's just we need community. Amen. And
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this need for others is God given and deeply rooted in our lives. This
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guy, he's not a believer, he's not a Christian. But his name
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is Abraham Maslow. You probably have heard of him. You probably have looked
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seen this some of this mass law hierarchy of needs. Not even a Christian.
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But study human beings and realize we have needs. We have needs.
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We have physiological needs, safety needs, love and belonging, esteem, self
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ualization. I just want to show you different ways of seeing it. You
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can do, of course, you can google and finding yourself right. But
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basically the idea is this. The idea is this, to reach to the
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top, to be a function fully functioning, inspiring person. And you are
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that person when you are up there, when you have actualized self actualized.
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You know when you when you reach the top, you don't live for yourself.
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You start asking questions like what can I do for others? What can
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I do for others? And I want to inspire others to do their best.
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Okay, you start living a giving life. Now. To reach that,
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you have to first meet all the other needs and as you can see
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in other words, if you don't feel safety, you don't feel belong If
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you don't feel belong you don't feel important. If you don't feel important,
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you can't reach the highest peak where you start becoming a giving person and not
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just a taking person. So belonging relationships very important. Amen, So I
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pray that we are okay with a meet. We need each other. It's
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not a sign of weakness. It's acknowledging how God designed us. And since
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we need each other, let's learn how to need each other properly, not
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in a unhealthy way, in a taking way. We need each other.
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It can be good, like how the eye needs the nose, and the
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nose needs the ear, and the ear needs the mouth, and we all
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need each other, were all functioning in a proper way. Yep. Good
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number two. We need to learn how to cultivate deep relationships. Don't take
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relationship lightly, okay, generations, church, we want quality relationships, We
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want deep relationships. So we must learn how to cultivate this. Amen,
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individually, in your homes, as a church, as a community, we
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need to learn this or at all levels. Don't take relationship likely because to
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survive in a cold and cruel world. To survive in this world that takes
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and it's mean and destructive. We need deep, meaningful relationships. But that
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kind of relationship don't just happen. It requires effort. That's why some people
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say marriage is work, relationship is work. They are right, it's work,
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but it's work that is worth Amen. We have to do more than
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just reach out to others, and we have to share. We have to
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not not just reach out and say, hey, how are you, but
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we have to share. You want the relationship, you have to share your
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life with others as well. And this truth was one of the secrets of
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Paul's establishment of supporting relationship. This is why Paul, everywhere he went he
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had meaningful relationships. Look look at first testoloninationship the two US eight. We
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cared so much for you that we were pleased to share with you not only
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the gospel of God, but also our lives because you have become dear to
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us. So here was a man. Every time he wrote to a church,
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he would always call by name. Have you noticed the letters, Maybe
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two, three or four people you called him my name and called him out
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because they were close to him. And it was personal, it was deep.
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He had developed significant relationships with all of these people. Now, in
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these verse I found three words, almost rhyming words that formed the basis for
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developing relationships which pass the test of time. Number one, care as a
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nursing mother nurtures own children. Care. To develop deep relationships, we need
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to have genuine care. Can we care for each other? Can we care
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about how the other person is doing? Not just ask why didn't you come
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to church or something like that. Now I'm not sure if you've been following
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out a social media account and stuff like that, but we recently launched a
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podcast video Yeah, where we had a guest not guests that he's part of
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our church. It's part of our Tuesday church. So you don't see on
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Saturday, is there? So? Liang Lang who's sign during Christmas? Yeah?
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And during one of our generations on Tuesday, we got him to share
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his story on why he gave up on church. This is a guy who
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gave up on church and so we had to process that what did you mean
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by giving up on church? And he of course qualified that during the interview,
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he shared that I've gave up on the structure, the system, the
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hierarchy. People have disappointed me. They have done things to hurt me,
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used me, abuse me. So I'm done with that. But I'm still
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a Christian. I still have faith in Jesus. And so when Generations on
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Tuesday, which is church but different, we call it alternative church experience church
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were different, he thought, Okay, I'll give this a chance, and
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so he joined us on Tuesday. And on Tuesday it's not like this.
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There's no stage, no band, no production, no projection god okay,
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no preacher, no pull pit, but christ community conversation. These are three
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things we focus on. And so he shared. He shared about how he
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was disappointed by the system and all that. Then we put a video up.
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I actually had to think long and hard about did I make a mistake?
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Should we take the video down? Like genuinely, I'm like, oh
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no, if it's affecting people now. Of course, Ling and I we
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were on the phone last night or so he caught me and called him and
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he told me, don't just look at the responses on social media. We've
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got some comments, he said. Since the video went up, I have
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not stopped receiving calls and messages, some even to the extenter of coming to
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my restaurant, like actually called the Book and purpose stake late so that he
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can talk to me. And what they're saying is thank you, Liang,
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thank you generations church for having this conversation and self fixing this conversation. Some
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of them are pastors, reverends themselves from churches. That's why they can't come
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in publicly, and so they say thank you for having the conversation. Now.
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The thing is, is what I'm trying to say is Liang himself told
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me he has left the church. He's heard, he's been broken and he
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needs healing and all that right, But he's encountered so many Christians that come
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to him, and all they can ask him is, brother, come back,
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laud to church Saturday. We've got You've grew up having this thing?
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Lad, come la? Why so long? Never see you? Come La?
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And he's like, I is that all you know? All you can
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tell me? Have you ever stopped to ask how I'm doing? Why I
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left the church? No one did, No one did? And this why
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for so many years young just float around. This is what I mean by
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I think we need to genuinely care for people. I think Jesus would do
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that. I don't think Jesus went around saying, hey, you sinner,
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come to come to synagogue. I think I think Jesus genuinely cared for people,
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like, oh, you're hungry, let me feed you now. Yeah,
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we can talk about your sin later. I'm paraphrasing, but you can
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look at the pattern. Right, He's always he always, he always fed
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clothes. Heue then, because the gospel is the good news. Yes,
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friends, couldn't be that. Christians are just too excited about the news.
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We forget the good If you don't believe in Jesus, you dye and go
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to hell. That's the news. And it's true, you're not wrong,
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but it's the good news. Tell you what. People don't care how much
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you know until they know how much you care. Amen. You want to
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cultivate deep relationships, genuinely care, like how are you doing? Like I,
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as a pastor, I do want you to come to church, But
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I'm very interested in why you're not here. Something must have happened. Are
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you okay? What's going on? He says? Something I can do to
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help? Oh? I can't help. This just can't help. Well,
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there's a million and the jurches that can recommend you too. Let's find a
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way and if you're not ready for church, let's meet up for coffee.
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There are people that ad meet up for coffee for years now still haven't come
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to church, but that coffee is such for them. Care Can we care
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too? Is share? Pauls it care and he share Share. Miss you
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are involved means a piece of you is given away, Paul say, we
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will pleased to share with you, not just the gospel see, but our
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own lives, not just the good news, but our lives, my time,
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my resources, my energy. I know sometimes you have to think about
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our OI return of investment. And as long as you're on this earth,
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thinking this way is gonna be very hard to balance the sheet, very hard.
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But you see, from God's perspective, because He's not bound by time
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and how much money you have left. He's not bound by all that.
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He sees from a different perspective, our oi. No, you you measure
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by eternity. I don't know, I don't know. I hope one day
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I say this twelve year old boy much bigger muscular somewhere Ella, and if
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not on this earth, hopefully in heaven. One day you know what I'm
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saying I don't know that. I'm just called to sow. The farmer sow
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the seed. Did he look at the ground first, oh, tony grownd,
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No, he just saw the seat man. Some fell on thorny ground,
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some fell on rocky ground, some fell on hot ground, or you
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just so anyway? Amen? So you share for us to share with others
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in deep relationship necessity necessities that we get up close and personal with another person.
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One cannot share at a distance. You guys can't do that. Care
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share and dear pause it. You have become dear to us. Paul genuinely
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loved these people. When we love others, we do not treat them as
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a means to an end. You're not just a number on our database in
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roster. You are not. I don't know which church you've been to,
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or how you've been heard, or which baster messed you up. I'm not
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like that, and I dare say our leaders and all of that. I
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think we've been through enough hurt ourselves to go. Let's not do it to
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others. Maybe you don't know me, Maybe you just came to thesearch.
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Maybe you think I'm like my previous few other churches have been far off.
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Maybe you feel your assumptions, your perceptions, your insecute. Whatever. If
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that's the case, let's get to know each other. Let's do that.
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We we We must be determined to do this right, do this well.
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The world is hurt enough, and yes, churches have made mistakes. Churches
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are not perfect. Neither are we not a a WII. But I say
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this out out so that we can all hold each other accountable. Man not
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use it as a as a threat. Hey, you say care, how
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come we never care for mere? Don't do that. Now you do that,
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you are technically manipuliting care. Share and hold each other dear, see
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each other as people of value, not a commodity, not a number,
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not statistics. Not Oh come join now, just yay, I get a
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new drummer. Oh I get a new basis. Oh I get a new
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We don't see that way. Love is something you do, not just something
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you say so we can. I can say whatever I want here on stage,
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but that's not love. Love is something you do. Hold me accountable
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through my actions, and I'll hold you accountable to your actions too. Thirdly,
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commit to authenticity. Let's be real. It's not enough to admit with
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each other or say, oh, a few friends will be nice. We
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must commit ourselves to getting beneath the surface. That's why our gigis want to
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focus on conversations, deep conversations authenticity. Authenticity occurs when the mask comes off,
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conversations gets deep, hearts get vulnerable, lives are shared, Accountability is
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invited and tenderness flows. Accountability is invited, not FoST upon, not enforced.
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I say, please give me accountable because I can't do this on my
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own. Please watch out for me, and we do the same for each
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other. Amen. Authenticity occurs when the mask comes off, conversations gets deep,
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hearts gets vulnerable, lives are shared, Accountability is invited, and tenderness
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flows. Amen. Believers in the Body of Christ actually becomes brothers and sisters.
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Assimilation is becoming absorbed in the lives of others as an active participant,
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relating to sharing with and caring for others. Pause it. We imparted our
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lives, not just knowledge. Imparted our lives. Reuben Gonnets say this,
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We can't simply cheer people on and give them our best fatures. We have
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to make room for them in our lives. When we make room for others
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in our lives. The wars of indifference and empathy come down. When we
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make room for others, we discover the best of others and the best in
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ourselves. Let's put each other on. Thank you for joining us. We
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trust you have been blessed by the word of God. If you like what
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if you experience, please subscribe and share with your friends on social media.
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Do tag us at generations mine. For more information, check us out on
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bit dot lee slash generations Mine