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A Haunted House Wakes Up, Part 3 · The Harmony Channel

0:19
[SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to the Harmony Channel, a podcast on creating harmony from the inside out.
0:24
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm your host, C. Rose.
0:27
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you so much for being here for part three of a haunted house wakes up.
0:32
[SPEAKER_00]: Where I share my experience with the actual ghosts I encountered in my house.
0:37
[SPEAKER_00]: Back in 2020, I began paying attention to the burgeoning sensation that there was more to my life than my current reality.
0:45
[SPEAKER_00]: I heard whispers of a longing, a desire for self-discovery was calling.
0:50
[SPEAKER_00]: This calling prompted a slow walk-through of each room in my life house noticing what was there and making space for a new part of me to come alive.
1:00
[SPEAKER_00]: With time I transformed my life house room by room with a massive gutting and renovation.
1:07
[SPEAKER_00]: Still unable to see what lurked in my shadows, I stepped onto this uncharted path with an open mind and a desire to find happiness and peace.
1:18
[SPEAKER_00]: Inch by inch, my perspective shifted as I became an explorer searching for some sense of myself.
1:25
[SPEAKER_00]: My curiosity became my north star.
1:28
[SPEAKER_00]: Something kept drawing me towards spirituality, like the bouncing light, listening and dancing on top of a pond,
1:37
[SPEAKER_00]: What shimmered was the same idea that part of my mind opposed, that there was something more to this life, that there was more to me and the human story than I was aware.
1:48
[SPEAKER_00]: I could feel the narrowness within me wanting to see further, wider, deeper.
1:54
[SPEAKER_00]: And I wanted to feel grounded, clear, and confident.
1:58
[SPEAKER_00]: I wanted to know spirit and understand a my new fraction of what the divine was all about, so I could form my own conclusions and perspectives.
2:08
[SPEAKER_00]: I entered the door of the spiritual world without wanting to walk through it fully.
2:13
[SPEAKER_00]: On some level, I knew what I was learning had the potential to change my life.
2:18
[SPEAKER_00]: and change was uncomfortable, and sometimes scary, even terrifying.
2:23
[SPEAKER_00]: I couldn't see them that my life was already changing, constantly shifting and never the same from one year to the next.
2:31
[SPEAKER_00]: Still, my mind equated change with malaise, viewing it as something to avoid rather than as a catalyst, tomb brace.
2:39
[SPEAKER_00]: My mom's continued hospitalization in the fall of 2020, meant I could use my studio across the hall from her bedroom in the wee hours without the worry of waking her up.
2:51
[SPEAKER_00]: I decided to make use of my insomnia, instead of wrestling myself back to sleep at three or four in the morning.
2:58
[SPEAKER_00]: I dedicated myself to practicing yoga and meditation each day at four a.m. which allowed my third eye to open further.
3:06
[SPEAKER_00]: I could now see differently.
3:08
[SPEAKER_00]: When I closed my eyes and dropped in, I saw shapes moving and forming in the darkness.
3:14
[SPEAKER_00]: Although what I saw was very hazy, I could sense different energies, especially when I relaxed my body and my mind with every breath.
3:23
[SPEAKER_00]: I opened up to another landscape beyond the physical world.
3:27
[SPEAKER_00]: This other landscape was both within me and surrounding me.
3:31
[SPEAKER_00]: I had opened the door of my lifehouse to another land, the land of the spirit world, how liberating to think the realms around me, both inside and out, that once felt flat, now we're round with infinitely more contours of possibilities than I had ever imagined.
3:52
[SPEAKER_00]: Over the winter, I also began studying astrology.
3:56
[SPEAKER_00]: I was now spending more time in the obscure, pre-don hours working towards self-discovery.
4:03
[SPEAKER_00]: With diligent effort over six months, I began to feel shifts in my perspective.
4:07
[SPEAKER_00]: The way I saw life was different.
4:11
[SPEAKER_00]: Looking back, it was as if my life house started to exist in a hologram and not everything felt real anymore.
4:19
[SPEAKER_00]: I felt there were other dimensions of life around us all the time.
4:23
[SPEAKER_00]: It was both exciting and unnerving.
4:26
[SPEAKER_00]: What ultimately drew me into deepening my spiritual studies was nature bursting to life right outside my front door.
4:36
[SPEAKER_00]: One afternoon, I was on my own walking in the yard and felt something I had never felt before.
4:42
[SPEAKER_00]: I actually was not alone.
4:44
[SPEAKER_00]: Again, I continued to sense something that felt both new and old.
4:51
[SPEAKER_00]: This sensation had been there my whole life, I simply wasn't aware of it.
4:55
[SPEAKER_00]: Now I was able to acknowledge what I'd felt all along.
4:59
[SPEAKER_00]: The consciousness of the trees, the rocks, the insects, the moss, the air.
5:04
[SPEAKER_00]: I felt as though I was among friends.
5:08
[SPEAKER_00]: This animistic view stirred something within me.
5:11
[SPEAKER_00]: The trees were no longer objects.
5:14
[SPEAKER_00]: be seen to have eyes that could see me.
5:17
[SPEAKER_00]: I wasn't new to thinking trees were extraordinary.
5:20
[SPEAKER_00]: I'd had a beautiful relationship with a towering oak tree on the property of our first house.
5:26
[SPEAKER_00]: I couldn't help but appreciate its splendor.
5:29
[SPEAKER_00]: I saw that oak tree, but didn't think that tree saw me.
5:32
[SPEAKER_00]: Now I am sure the tree did.
5:36
[SPEAKER_00]: I felt as if the woods surrounding me were my community of friendly neighbors watching over me.
5:41
[SPEAKER_00]: Waiting to be recognized, waiting to be seen.
5:45
[SPEAKER_00]: I felt them saying, I see you.
5:48
[SPEAKER_00]: Do you see me?
5:49
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, I do.
5:51
[SPEAKER_00]: I finally do.
5:54
[SPEAKER_00]: O and the wind, the miraculous and wise elemental teacher that reached out to me, or perhaps all the elements had already been reaching out to me, like the salty water of the ocean.
6:08
[SPEAKER_00]: But it was the wind's spirit I felt initially.
6:12
[SPEAKER_00]: One cloudy day I was in my yard, caught up in a tense moment with one of my daughters when it happened.
6:18
[SPEAKER_00]: At the time, I tended to be very irritable and snappy, especially with the girls if they were arguing or ignoring my parental authority.
6:27
[SPEAKER_00]: I was having a rough exchange with one of them about who knows what.
6:31
[SPEAKER_00]: We raised our voices and took our disagreement outside.
6:34
[SPEAKER_00]: My anger had just begun to erupt when I felt the wind touch my cheek with tenderness.
6:41
[SPEAKER_00]: I stopped mid-sentence, looked to my left, and opened my senses to listen, to feel.
6:48
[SPEAKER_00]: What was that?
6:50
[SPEAKER_00]: I wondered.
6:51
[SPEAKER_00]: I looked at my daughter to see if she felt it too, but my silence only frustrated her.
6:56
[SPEAKER_00]: I couldn't help it though.
6:57
[SPEAKER_00]: I was speechless.
6:59
[SPEAKER_00]: This tender touch
7:04
[SPEAKER_00]: I heard nothing but felt something calming, like a gentle, kind, parental hand guiding me toward peace.
7:13
[SPEAKER_00]: The wind was leading me to find patience to be less reactive, to be present.
7:20
[SPEAKER_00]: This moment was calling for me to be the wind, to soften, to be a good listener, to be the breeze.
7:28
[SPEAKER_00]: My daughter needed a gentle guide, not a controlling ruler.
7:32
[SPEAKER_00]: In that subtle, ordinary moment, I could have missed the powerful presence of this invisible force, but I caught it, and the wind, the mighty wind, became my teacher and my guide.
7:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Of course, the wind always has been.
7:47
[SPEAKER_00]: I was just unaware.
7:50
[SPEAKER_00]: In becoming sensitive enough to feel even faintly, these worlds beyond worlds and my elemental guides, I began chipping away at my current reality.
8:00
[SPEAKER_00]: Nature was alive, and we are alive with a nature in a way that previously felt closed off to me.
8:08
[SPEAKER_00]: I began to ask the question, is magic real?
8:12
[SPEAKER_00]: My heart said, yes, part of me always knew this to be true.
8:16
[SPEAKER_00]: My mind needed proof saying,
8:18
[SPEAKER_00]: Show me.
8:20
[SPEAKER_00]: But my heart was so sure that my mind decided to bend a bit.
8:25
[SPEAKER_00]: The question changed to, what is the harm in believing magic is real?
8:30
[SPEAKER_00]: Why do I need proof if it feels true to me?
8:33
[SPEAKER_00]: What if I just believe?
8:36
[SPEAKER_00]: My reality began to shift in new ways when I chose to trust my heart, trust my feelings that magic could indeed exist.
8:44
[SPEAKER_00]: I felt a palpable difference in this new reality.
8:47
[SPEAKER_00]: There is a difference in how you move and see the world when you believe magic is real.
8:53
[SPEAKER_00]: What else was different from what I thought?
8:55
[SPEAKER_00]: I was a bear stirring from a long slumber, waking up with the idea that if there was something more out there, there must be more inside me too,
9:06
[SPEAKER_00]: My eyes finally began to open to see, to understand, and to feel what my mind had been struggling to comprehend, that I was a soul.
9:16
[SPEAKER_00]: I am a soul.
9:18
[SPEAKER_00]: We are all souls.
9:21
[SPEAKER_00]: I so much was shifting in my world, I began jotting down notes.
9:25
[SPEAKER_00]: I created a file on my computer call, the Life Notes.
9:29
[SPEAKER_00]: It started as a way of record-keeping, a way of tracking my new insights, the numerals I saw, and where or when I saw them and other various observations that felt important to document.
9:41
[SPEAKER_00]: Eventually, my notations grew from brief descriptions to longer detailed narratives of what was happening.
9:48
[SPEAKER_00]: I never considered my note taking as writing, since the habit was solely to log the changes and synchronicities occurring.
9:56
[SPEAKER_00]: These written findings were meant to give me something to hold on to in my desperation for understanding, as I walked deeper into the mystery.
10:06
[SPEAKER_00]: The new belief I am more than my mind, I am a soul, resonated with truth, vibrating through every cell of my being.
10:15
[SPEAKER_00]: So I have a soul now what?
10:17
[SPEAKER_00]: I still struggled to see myself, but I kept digging for clues.
10:22
[SPEAKER_00]: Does my soul have the answer?
10:24
[SPEAKER_00]: Will my soul show me with clarity who I am?
10:26
[SPEAKER_00]: How do I reach my soul?
10:29
[SPEAKER_00]: I felt lost in confusion, I felt out of my depth.
10:33
[SPEAKER_00]: My soul felt close to touch With the wind's help, I believed this to be true, But I still wasn't touching it.
10:41
[SPEAKER_00]: Nature was guiding me so much then, But I still could not find the entryway to my soul.
10:46
[SPEAKER_00]: I felt as though it was buried in multiple layers of thick mud or fog, the result of years of hoarding physical, emotional, and experiential stuff that obscured the opening to my center.
10:59
[SPEAKER_00]: Beyond the obstructions lay a labyrinth between my mind and my spirit.
11:04
[SPEAKER_00]: The doorway to my essence was there waiting for me, but first I had to make my way through the maze.
11:10
[SPEAKER_00]: For that journey, I saw human guidance and spent months choosing the right people for the job.
11:16
[SPEAKER_00]: I wanted to ensure their perspectives on spirituality felt genuine to me.
11:21
[SPEAKER_00]: By spring 2021, after months of research, I had two virtual appointments, one with a psychic and the other with a CRS, Deborah Hannecamp, who I mentioned in episode 4.
11:34
[SPEAKER_00]: My one session with a psychic resulted in a third appointment with Linda Roberts, a shamanic healer and teacher who my previously mentioned in episode 3.
11:43
[SPEAKER_00]: With the help of Deborah and Linda, and a couple other healers I ended up working with along the way, I slowly worked to heal the ghosts in my life house.
11:52
[SPEAKER_00]: The deepest wounds of shame, blame, and grief of losing my brother began to heal.
11:58
[SPEAKER_00]: Some rough edges that formed after my dad died began to soften.
12:02
[SPEAKER_00]: Twenty years of stored up heartache started to melt in the fire of my passion for and commitment to healing.
12:10
[SPEAKER_00]: In doing so, my sensitivity increased, and that's when I strongly began to suspect spirits were living among us in our house.
12:18
[SPEAKER_00]: Not just my metaphoric life house, but the actual physical house my family and I were living in.
12:25
[SPEAKER_00]: I couldn't see them, but I sensed they were there, lingering in every room.
12:30
[SPEAKER_00]: The spirits didn't bother me necessarily, but I never felt completely alone.
12:35
[SPEAKER_00]: I remembered a few occasions when we first moved into the house that rattled me,
12:39
[SPEAKER_00]: One night, within our first week of living there, a bat got inside and encircled our living room, which might seem like a fluke until it happened again the following week.
12:49
[SPEAKER_00]: Or the time when, just a few days later, our youngest daughter fell down our steep staircase.
12:55
[SPEAKER_00]: Perhaps this was an odd on its own, but I couldn't shake the persistent feeling that she had been pushed.
13:01
[SPEAKER_00]: And then there was the time I tried to forget the time that literally left the hair on my arms standing straight up.
13:12
[SPEAKER_00]: I wanted to take a quick moment to share some exciting news about my website, circlebookhouse.com.
13:18
[SPEAKER_00]: Every first Friday of the month, I released a curated collection of goods in my shop house, featuring an assortment of second-hand home goods, used books, handmade items, and occasional apothecary products like flower essences.
13:33
[SPEAKER_00]: Hope you stop by to check it out.
13:35
[SPEAKER_00]: You can find the link in the show notes.
13:38
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, back to the episode,
13:42
[SPEAKER_00]: One hot summer night, a couple of weeks after we had moved in, I was asleep in one of the room's upstairs.
13:49
[SPEAKER_00]: It was roasting hot beneath the uninsulated roof, and being a light sleeper, I kept waking up.
13:55
[SPEAKER_00]: The windows were open, and the fan was humming.
13:58
[SPEAKER_00]: Tossing and turning, I jolted upright when I heard a faint voice coming up the stairs.
14:04
[SPEAKER_00]: Dad, dad!
14:07
[SPEAKER_00]: The girls had already crept into bed with us earlier that night, so I knew I wasn't hearing their voices.
14:13
[SPEAKER_00]: My husband was in bed too, sound asleep, so the voice was not his.
14:16
[SPEAKER_00]: A creaking presence moved through our room and into the closet where it fell silent.
14:24
[SPEAKER_00]: I tried to convince myself the noise was merely the worrying of the fan mixed with the wind or
14:34
[SPEAKER_00]: a heavy sleeper he mumbled that he had heard nothing rolled over and fell back asleep.
14:40
[SPEAKER_00]: Terrified I pulled the covers over my head and told myself it was nothing.
14:45
[SPEAKER_00]: It was just sounds outside, so don't be silly.
14:49
[SPEAKER_00]: My mind was playing tricks on me, right?
14:52
[SPEAKER_00]: Something in me knew I was not hearing things, and even though the voice wasn't saying anything terrifying, I was spooked by the idea of living among ghosts.
15:02
[SPEAKER_00]: So just weeks after moving into our house, I wanted to move out.
15:06
[SPEAKER_00]: I thought about the dream I had before we signed the closing papers.
15:10
[SPEAKER_00]: I remembered waking up with a racing heart because I had dreamed that the house was absolutely chock full of ghosts, but that was just a dream I said to myself.
15:20
[SPEAKER_00]: A dream I pushed away, but one that was beginning to feel real, fear stirred that hot night, fear that I banished to the basement of my life house.
15:31
[SPEAKER_00]: My husband listened to my experience, but wouldn't entertain moving out of the house just weeks after we'd moved in.
15:38
[SPEAKER_00]: plus finding an affordable house in that area took us over a year.
15:43
[SPEAKER_00]: Instead, he tried to comfort me, and I decided to live in his confidence that nothing other worldly was lurking at night.
15:50
[SPEAKER_00]: If I ignored the fear, it didn't exist.
15:53
[SPEAKER_00]: And this worked for years.
15:55
[SPEAKER_00]: I heard nothing more, no creaking boards or muffled voices crossing through rooms or climbing the stairs.
16:02
[SPEAKER_00]: The fear had dampened my sensitivity, but as I worked on healing myself, my sensitivity to subtle energy re-ignited, I realized I truly was living among spirits that dwelled within the rooms of our 200-year-old house.
16:17
[SPEAKER_00]: Since I knew my teacher Linda performed house clearance, I decided to book a session with her, hoping she could clear the property of anything that might be bothersome.
16:27
[SPEAKER_00]: I had no idea what she would discover.
16:30
[SPEAKER_00]: The house indeed had spirits, many of them, layers of them.
16:35
[SPEAKER_00]: Some lived in the house, some moved through a portal, and some were outside.
16:40
[SPEAKER_00]: Our property was spiritual land, sacred at one time, and a burial ground.
16:46
[SPEAKER_00]: From what she could tell, battles were likely fought there.
16:50
[SPEAKER_00]: Linda saw that I had lived a few lifetimes on this land as had my girls.
16:55
[SPEAKER_00]: She said she did her best to clear the energies and redirected the portal to the backyard, but asked me to check in after a few weeks on how the energy felt.
17:04
[SPEAKER_00]: I was quiet,
17:10
[SPEAKER_00]: Past lives at this house, with my girls, sacred land, battles and a burial ground, and what exactly is a portal.
17:20
[SPEAKER_00]: My head was a fire with all this new information while my heart grew heavy from feeling the suffering and bloodshed that had taken place here.
17:29
[SPEAKER_00]: This was not at all what I expected from the house clearing session, but now I finally understood what I had been feeling for years.
17:36
[SPEAKER_00]: I felt the death underneath me buried in the earth, which likely explains why I avoided being outside on our property at night.
17:45
[SPEAKER_00]: The land was wounded, the land ached with spirits, but I also felt the beauty of being a soul with the ability to return to a home again and again.
17:55
[SPEAKER_00]: and how incredible that I've had past lives with my daughters.
18:00
[SPEAKER_00]: I thought back to how, despite my premonition dream, I was drawn to this property as though we were meant to live there.
18:08
[SPEAKER_00]: I thought about the fairly easy flow we experienced when buying the house.
18:12
[SPEAKER_00]: And most astoundingly, everything Linda shared felt true.
18:17
[SPEAKER_00]: When I processed this through my own filter, it needs sense.
18:21
[SPEAKER_00]: I shared this insight with my husband who was pretty open-minded about mystical possibilities.
18:27
[SPEAKER_00]: He listened and pondered this not feeling one way or another about it.
18:31
[SPEAKER_00]: I also shared with a soul friend of mine.
18:34
[SPEAKER_00]: She tried lovingly to be open-minded, but I could tell she was highly skeptical.
18:39
[SPEAKER_00]: It was a reminder that the direction my life was heading was out of the ordinary and not everyone would understand it.
18:47
[SPEAKER_00]: A month after the house clearing, my cat Oliver passed away, which I shared about in episode 3.
18:53
[SPEAKER_00]: After Oliver died, I became more aware that I could communicate with the other world.
18:59
[SPEAKER_00]: I remember one morning while the sun was rising, sitting in our living room crying with grief over missing him.
19:05
[SPEAKER_00]: I was drawn to a window overlooking a wooded area across the street, and one large tree was shaking in the wind.
19:12
[SPEAKER_00]: I sensed spirits there, many of them, like a monastery of friends.
19:18
[SPEAKER_00]: At the time, I didn't know to trust the feeling, but I smiled nonetheless as I felt them tell me I would be okay, that I was not alone, that I was surrounded by loving, helping spirits.
19:31
[SPEAKER_00]: Of course, what I couldn't understand at the time was that I was also surrounded by some bothersome spirits as well.
19:38
[SPEAKER_00]: Throughout the fall of 2021, the energy at our home never felt clear.
19:43
[SPEAKER_00]: Instead, it felt heavy as heavy as losing my dear Oliver.
19:47
[SPEAKER_00]: I consulted with my healers and teachers and was guided to clear the energies myself.
19:52
[SPEAKER_00]: Before the burial ground existed, this land was my home.
19:57
[SPEAKER_00]: There were lifetimes when I experienced being generous and wanting to share until the point of exhaustion and depletion.
20:04
[SPEAKER_00]: And even a life much later as a person who experienced something similar living in the house.
20:10
[SPEAKER_00]: I slowly realized in a teeny way, the deep complexity of being a soul who has lived on the land and lived in a house that was built on someone else's land.
20:22
[SPEAKER_00]: This woven depth is something I will forever hold in my heart.
20:26
[SPEAKER_00]: And at that time, I began to understand, ever so slightly, that this lifetime was meant to be different from my soul.
20:33
[SPEAKER_00]: In this life, I had an opportunity
20:38
[SPEAKER_00]: The land was calling for me to stand my ground.
20:41
[SPEAKER_00]: I was becoming increasingly sensitive to the energies on the property, one of which was the land claiming me.
20:48
[SPEAKER_00]: Now it was time for me to reciprocate.
20:50
[SPEAKER_00]: Perhaps then my future lives would no longer need to return, because through the mutual embrace with the land, I would finally fulfill what my soul had been tasked with for many lifetimes, healing this old deep wound for my soul family.
21:05
[SPEAKER_00]: I would help some of the spirits occupying the house transition and was taught how to handle this with the help of a teacher.
21:13
[SPEAKER_00]: I wasn't sure I had done anything at first, but over the next few days I no longer felt those spirits lingering.
21:19
[SPEAKER_00]: I felt very proud of myself.
21:21
[SPEAKER_00]: I stood by a window overlooking our backyard and felt my ancestors joining hands in a circle around the house.
21:29
[SPEAKER_00]: all shining their love and gratitude to my spirit for claiming what was ours.
21:34
[SPEAKER_00]: I belonged to my ancestors, and they belonged to me.
21:38
[SPEAKER_00]: Life times of love were given and received between us.
21:42
[SPEAKER_00]: I felt loved, loved a thousand times over, for the first time I felt the sense of belonging.
21:49
[SPEAKER_00]: I never wanted to leave this house.
21:52
[SPEAKER_00]: This was my home, and I could finally be here in peace.
21:55
[SPEAKER_00]: I felt I was right where I was supposed to be.
21:59
[SPEAKER_00]: The lights were coming on in my life house, but I still couldn't see the forest through the trees.
22:05
[SPEAKER_00]: Questions lingered as the house began to feel heavy again, and I still wondered about the portal.
22:10
[SPEAKER_00]: What was it exactly?
22:11
[SPEAKER_00]: So I brought it up with a healer and was told that, in a way, a portal is like a seaport between our world and the spirit world.
22:20
[SPEAKER_00]: As the healer and I continued our discussion, she asked if I was having issues with my immune system.
22:26
[SPEAKER_00]: I said I was fine, but one of my daughters had been sick for the past couple of weeks.
22:31
[SPEAKER_00]: She was looking frail and spoke softly, opposite to her usual tone.
22:36
[SPEAKER_00]: I kept my eye on her health and had no idea what was coming our way in regards to her diagnosis.
22:43
[SPEAKER_00]: Soon after my session with the healer, I was outside feeding my sheep and goats when I caught sight of a small area in the backyard that became raised and barren of leaves or grass.
22:54
[SPEAKER_00]: I noticed it just after a windstorm.
22:57
[SPEAKER_00]: The leaves had blown all around, yet there was none inside this one muddy circle.
23:02
[SPEAKER_00]: I felt drawn to stand inside the circle, and when I entered, the sounds
23:12
[SPEAKER_00]: And this morning I couldn't tell but I felt as though the land was sad, the rain came down and felt like tears.
23:20
[SPEAKER_00]: But I stood there hoping for a clear message or sign.
23:24
[SPEAKER_00]: There was a tree stump inside the circle's edge with fungi growing on it.
23:28
[SPEAKER_00]: I felt I was supposed to remember or know something about this particular spot.
23:33
[SPEAKER_00]: I felt the presence of a spirit there.
23:36
[SPEAKER_00]: The energy was deep, but I couldn't tell what was happening.
23:40
[SPEAKER_00]: The land was rising, but was that a good sign or a bad sign?
23:46
[SPEAKER_00]: After all these years, I still don't know exactly what that was, but I do know that my life took a turn that felt quick, but now I can see it had been slowly happening over time.
24:03
[SPEAKER_00]: A doctor finally gave her diagnosis of Hinak, Shonline, Papura, HSP, an autoimmune disease that is not usually serious and goes away on its own.
24:15
[SPEAKER_00]: We were relieved and eagerly awaited improvement in her health.
24:19
[SPEAKER_00]: Oddly enough, when researching HSP online, another abbreviation came up, highly sensitive person.
24:27
[SPEAKER_00]: And this felt trueer than anything else.
24:30
[SPEAKER_00]: My sweet girl, so sensitive, so in tune, was becoming like a shell of herself.
24:36
[SPEAKER_00]: Many weeks went by, and my anxiety hit in all time high, partially from work, but mostly because my daughter's health was not improving.
24:45
[SPEAKER_00]: On December 22nd, I was advised by a doctor to admit her to the hospital due to low hemoglobin numbers and a persistently high fever.
24:54
[SPEAKER_00]: Ultimately, she was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease that would not go away and she would need to stay in the hospital until she improved.
25:03
[SPEAKER_00]: I couldn't help but worry that I had waited too long to bring her to the hospital.
25:07
[SPEAKER_00]: What took me so long?
25:08
[SPEAKER_00]: Why didn't I act sooner?
25:10
[SPEAKER_00]: But later while paying bills, I noticed that the numerals I had been seeing all year, 1222, matched the date I checked my daughter into the hospital.
25:21
[SPEAKER_00]: It wasn't signaling a time of day, but a day in time, December 22nd.
25:27
[SPEAKER_00]: I took the number of synchronicity as a sign of a major life shift and a quiet reassurance that my timing had been right.
25:34
[SPEAKER_00]: My daughter and I spent a lonely but grateful Christmas at the hospital that year.
25:39
[SPEAKER_00]: With COVID rule still in effect, she was allowed limited visitors.
25:43
[SPEAKER_00]: My husband came on Christmas day and brought her a couple of presents and a home cooked meal that she picked up.
25:49
[SPEAKER_00]: I took my husband aside while my daughter watched a Miyazaki movie.
25:53
[SPEAKER_00]: I looked him in the eyes and said, I don't think we can stay in that house.
25:58
[SPEAKER_00]: It's breaking my heart because I'm just discovering my soul connection to the land.
26:03
[SPEAKER_00]: But my inner voice as we're getting pushed out.
26:06
[SPEAKER_00]: How can we stay if we even slightly suspect the portal could negatively affect her health?
26:11
[SPEAKER_00]: I had also been experiencing some heavy energies from the portal myself.
26:19
[SPEAKER_00]: I would do anything to help my girls, even if it meant moving to another house.
26:25
[SPEAKER_00]: The thought was not just devastating, but also daunting and seemed crazy.
26:30
[SPEAKER_00]: What would we tell people?
26:31
[SPEAKER_00]: How could we explain, oh yeah, the house is kicking us out, or you know, the house has a portal that's too intense for our developing sensitivities to dense energy.
26:40
[SPEAKER_00]: I cried in my husband's arms, I'm getting so weird.
26:44
[SPEAKER_00]: His mild and said we'd figured out when we got home.
26:49
[SPEAKER_00]: This sent me into more of a panic.
26:51
[SPEAKER_00]: You don't understand, I retorted.
26:54
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to take her home at all.
26:56
[SPEAKER_00]: He could see I was serious, so I softened.
27:00
[SPEAKER_00]: Remember when I told you I'm going to listen to my intuition?
27:03
[SPEAKER_00]: and it might get uncomfortable?
27:05
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, this is it.
27:07
[SPEAKER_00]: This is what I'm feeling we have to go.
27:09
[SPEAKER_00]: But where?
27:11
[SPEAKER_00]: Where would we go?
27:12
[SPEAKER_00]: Even though I could not see myself clearly, I knew I was changing, and I was committed to listening to my heart compass in a more devotional way.
27:21
[SPEAKER_00]: I also knew we were meant to head out west to Idaho, where my business partners lived to work on our business in person.
27:29
[SPEAKER_00]: I was risking everything to grow.
27:31
[SPEAKER_00]: I had already given our company my life savings and was giving up our life in Maine as well.
27:37
[SPEAKER_00]: The truth was, I felt trapped and would do anything to feel free.
27:42
[SPEAKER_00]: So my family and I planned to go on assignment for two years in Idaho.
27:47
[SPEAKER_00]: This was the plan we told people, which was true, but this way, I didn't have to tell anyone about the portal in the house, and I could preserve being normal at least for a little bit longer.
27:58
[SPEAKER_00]: We would move during the summer after the girls were out of school.
28:03
[SPEAKER_00]: I began speaking to the house with my full heart to share the news because the house apparently had a mind of its own.
28:10
[SPEAKER_00]: And I needed it to know we've received the message to leave, loudly and clearly.
28:15
[SPEAKER_00]: with this new path forward.
28:17
[SPEAKER_00]: I wanted to show my girls that I can look life in the eyes and say, I'm here.
28:22
[SPEAKER_00]: I need this change because I want to feel the fullness of what my life can be.
28:27
[SPEAKER_00]: I wanted to show them what it looked like when someone followed their heart.
28:32
[SPEAKER_00]: I felt privileged to be able to move cross country, and each day I gave things we had enough credit on our credit cards, and my husband had some savings of his own to make this big change happen.
28:43
[SPEAKER_00]: My girls were crushed to deliver house and main, but I felt steadfast and knowing the shift would be good, not just for me, but for all of us.
28:53
[SPEAKER_00]: It was a painful, exhausting and emotional six months of preparing, but we packed up our house and moved out west in the summer of 2022.
29:01
[SPEAKER_00]: I loaded my car with some essentials and left with my mom, our youngest daughter, and our two cats.
29:08
[SPEAKER_00]: My husband left about a week later, with our oldest daughter and our bunny.
29:14
[SPEAKER_00]: He did the final cleaning and loaded the last of our things onto the moving truck.
29:19
[SPEAKER_00]: By nightfall, our daughter lay asleep in our room as my husband put her around the house, tying up loose ends.
29:26
[SPEAKER_00]: When he entered the bedroom for the night, he was startled by a stirring motion and circling the darkness.
29:32
[SPEAKER_00]: He jumped and turned on the light to see a bat flying around the edges of the room.
29:37
[SPEAKER_00]: Quickly, he opened two windows and luckily, the bat used this opportunity to escape.
29:43
[SPEAKER_00]: As quickly as he opened the windows, he closed them and crawled into bed, rattled but amused that our daughter slipped through the commotion.
29:51
[SPEAKER_00]: My husband couldn't wait to tell me this story since he knew exactly what I would say.
29:56
[SPEAKER_00]: It was a sign, a goodbye message from the land through the appearance of the bat, closing the door on our time at the haunted house.
30:04
[SPEAKER_00]: Just as we were meant to live there, we were now meant to leave.
30:08
[SPEAKER_00]: And perhaps the bat in the darkness was also a mirror, reminding us that we were encircling our own life house in the mystery of what lay ahead.
30:18
[SPEAKER_00]: It's amazing all that happened while we lived there.
30:21
[SPEAKER_00]: I truly believe that property woke me up.
30:24
[SPEAKER_00]: The land and the house itself.
30:26
[SPEAKER_00]: Even though I was foggy about who I was, I actually learned so much about who I was not.
30:33
[SPEAKER_00]: The old me was fading.
30:35
[SPEAKER_00]: The chrysalis of the cocoon that wrapped around me would hold me for years to come.
30:40
[SPEAKER_00]: Hold me and ask me to become a true version of myself.
30:44
[SPEAKER_00]: too bad in a way this process doesn't come with instructions.
30:48
[SPEAKER_00]: There's no manual on how to become, but maybe this is because it is so different for each of us.
30:54
[SPEAKER_00]: There is, however, our intuition, our guides, and our helping spirits.
30:59
[SPEAKER_00]: And there's the trust in all the unfolding that builds with time.
31:04
[SPEAKER_00]: By this point, we had left behind the haunted house in Maine, but I wasn't by any means completely cleared of my inner ghosts.
31:12
[SPEAKER_00]: That journey is still spiraling, but by that time, I had come a long way.
31:18
[SPEAKER_00]: This concludes our final episode in the three part series, A Haunted House wakes up.
31:24
[SPEAKER_00]: This episode was recorded in Northern Vermont, and the land I mentioned is in Maine, both of which are the original homeland of the Abanaki people.
31:33
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for listening to this longer than usual episode.
31:37
[SPEAKER_00]: I hope you'll come back in a couple of weeks for the final episode of Season 1.
31:42
[SPEAKER_00]: Until then, much love.
31:44
[SPEAKER_00]: See you Rose.