Latest / Finding New Waters / Carl Radke on Sobriety, Opening Soft Bar NYC, and Finding Purpose After Loss

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Carl Radke on Sobriety, Opening Soft Bar NYC, and Finding Purpose After Loss · Finding New Waters

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I lost my brother to a drug overdose in August of 2020 and I
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got that phone call while I was filming TV.
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So that whole moment is actually an episode of television, so is
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not only tragic for real, but also just a massive public
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component to it that I really struggled with at the beginning.
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I didn't immediately get sober when my brother died.
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I actually used it as my license to go do whatever the hell I
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wanted. And for about 6 months, from the
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time he passed until I actually hit rock bottom, I was on a, you
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know, a destruction tour. But I sailed at all while being
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the face of an alcohol company. So here I was, you know,
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struggling with my own drinking and my own relationship with
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alcohol and cocaine. Adderall, Xanax, you know, they,
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they come up and they come down. It was just this constant roller
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coaster. But I realized if you when
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working in the alcohol industry, you know, I, it was eye opening
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once I got sober. All right.
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Welcome back to another edition of Finding New Waters.
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My name is Bea Reeves. I'm the Director of Business
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Development here at New Waters Recovery in Raleigh, Sitting
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here with our CEO, Justin McClendon, and want to welcome
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our very special guest today, Mr. Carl Radke.
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Welcome, Carl. Thank you guys.
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Great to be here. Yeah, it's great to great to see
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you man. Where?
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Thank you for being. Where are you right now exactly?
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I'm in Brooklyn, NY. OK, nice.
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So I did a quick search of, you know, actually, you know, we've
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met in real life, you know, about 6 1/2 years ago.
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We might get to that here in a second.
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But so your soft bar literally just opened.
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Is that right? Yeah, we opened to the public
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yesterday, so I've. Yeah, I got a bar and cafe in
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Brooklyn that we serve premium coffee, but we also serve non
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alcoholic beverages or what we call soft cocktails.
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It's a 0 alcohol space. It's a third space.
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It's a really cool kind of community gathering spot, but
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more or less just a more elevated kind of premium Taff
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and bar that you know, you can come anytime of day and have a
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great non op drink, but there's no requirement to be sober or
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not. It doesn't matter how you
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describe your relationship with alcohol or substances.
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We wanted to create a space that's welcoming for people that
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just want to take a little break.
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People, of course, that are in recovery, that want to find a
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place that they feel welcome. Now that some people in
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recovery, it may not be for. So it's really it's up to the
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individual and what they're comfortable with and, you know,
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however they want to go about, you know, their, their recovery,
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their sobriety. But I, I didn't intend to open
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up, you know, like a recovery bar.
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It's, it's more about mindful consumption and a health and
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Wellness connection and you know, a fun elevated space.
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It's something that I haven't personally seen in most major
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cities is like a all day cafe and that's cool and fun and
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doesn't serve alcohol. I think that's really cool and I
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I can't wait to come check you out.
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Where in New York? Where in where?
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In Brooklyn? So I'm in Greenpoint, Brooklyn,
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which for those that aren't familiar, it's adjacent to
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Williamsburg, which is what a lot of people, I think, I think,
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think of when they hear Brooklyn.
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It's a really cool neighborhood that kind of reminds me of the
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West Village in a way. It's very neighborhood.
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There's a lot of great restaurants and cafes.
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There's also a lot of really good health and Wellness
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happening. There's bath houses and sauna
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houses. There's really cool gyms.
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There's run clubs. There's yoga and Pilates, of
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course. It's my favorite thing about
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living in Green Plains. It's along the river, the East
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River. So I actually, instead of living
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in the jungle of New York, I look at the jungle every day and
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I like being, I like being near water, near water.
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For me, it's just restorative and nice to be near a little bit
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more nature. A lot of New York City is very
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concrete and loud and intense. And in the last, I moved over
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here almost 2 1/2 years ago and just it's been better for my
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lifestyle over here, just a little bit less intense and a
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little less crazy. There's no better view of the
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skyline than from Brooklyn, so you can't.
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You can't see that when you're in the middle of Manhattan,
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that's for sure. No.
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And if you live on the West Side of Manhattan, you know you're
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looking at Jersey. Not that against Jersey.
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I love Jersey, but I think, you know, it's cool to be on the
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Brooklyn side looking back in Manhattan.
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But I'm very lucky, you know, I've been in New York over 10
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years now. It'll be to actually 12 years
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coming up soon. So it's been a long career in
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New York, but I think this is kind of where I'm really liking
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living and I've found my place here.
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I hear you man. That's awesome.
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What? So give us a little bit of a
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background at what led up to you opening soft bar.
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Yeah, I mean, it's been a long journey to get to this point.
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You know, I started an alcohol company back in 2018 with two of
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my best friends who also are part of a reality TV show that
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I've been been on, which is how Bee Reeves, I call him Bee
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Reeves. That's actually how you're saved
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to my phone. I met through a mutual friend of
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ours. He's also a Bravo friend, Shep.
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And I've actually had a mutual friend with Shep before I ever
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started Summer House. Funny enough, I'm so I knew Shep
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just a little bit and then about a year later started my career
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on Bravo. But on Bravo, you know, like a
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lot of people, they have opportunities to talk about a
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company they work for or a brand that they built or a bar that
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they're opening. So we at that, you know, on our
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show, we saw an opportunity to create an alcohol product.
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Kyle and Amanda are two of my best friends.
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Kyle's an entrepreneur and so we created a brand called Loverboy
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and Loverboy was a sparkling tea, you know, low sugar, low
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calorie, but you know, alcohol drink I drank a lot of twisted
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tea back in the day so did Kyle and Twisted tea for a lot of
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people it's very sugary it's gets you really drunk and it was
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fun until it wasn't but we wanted to create something that
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was health healthier. So I got my toe into the alcohol
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industry starting in 2018 and invested in the business,
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started working with Kyle and Amanda.
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But as you would imagine, as a salesperson in alcohol, you're,
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you know, you're supposed to sell the product, not also
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consume all of it. And I was riding the line
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between business and my own personal, you know, endeavors,
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which for a period of time was fun until it became
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unmanageable. But yeah, I started in the
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alcohol industry and got sober in 2021.
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You know, I've been through a couple pivotal things in my life
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that really shaped, you know, kind of my wake up and my kind
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of rock bottom, honestly. I lost my brother to a drug
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overdose in August of 2020, and I got that phone call while I
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was filming TV. So that whole moment is actually
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an episode of television. So is not only tragic for real,
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but also just a massive public component to it that I really
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struggled with at the beginning. So I didn't immediately get
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sober when my brother died. I actually used it as my license
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to go do whatever the hell I wanted.
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And for about 6 months from the time he passed until I actually
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hit rock bottom, I was on a, you know, a destruction tour.
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But I sailed that all while being the face of an alcohol
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company. So here I was, you know,
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struggling with my own drinking and my own relationship with
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alcohol and cocaine, Adderall, Xanax, you know, the the come up
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and the come down. It was just this constant roller
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coaster. But I realized if you when
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working in the alcohol industry, you know, I, it was eye opening
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once I got sober. Random little side note, we're,
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you know, our, our brand lover boys distributed by, you know, a
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lot of companies throughout the United States.
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I mean, we're in the South, we're in the Northeast.
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And I've met a lot of people in the industry.
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And over time, once I started like working steps, I got a
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sponsor, but still being part of an alcohol company, I was
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meeting new people at alcohol events that weren't drinking,
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you know, and I met industry people like sales reps, managers
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of restaurants and bars. They had heard about my story
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and publicly and had heard I was, you know, starting my
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sobriety journey. And a lot of them would be like,
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Carl, come here, I want to talk to you.
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And one individual who I'll never forget, very powerful
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executive at a alcohol brand, pulled me aside at a meeting.
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We did like a whole pitch talking about alcohol.
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We have this new brand. We're excited, lover boy after
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the meeting, pulls me inside like, hey, man, I'm 17 years
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sober. And I was like, holy shit.
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What? And he's like, yeah, like I can,
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if I can do this, you can too. Just remember, it's an industry,
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You know, you can still have a career in this if you really,
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you know, do what you need to do and find your right program and
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the right people. So he was someone that kind of
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gave me that confidence to be in the alcohol industry but also
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not drinking. But it wasn't easy.
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And then part of why I started soft bar I'll I'll land this
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plane eventually was being a consumer of non out beverages,
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being very social and finding lack of options.
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Then the options I would find or unhealthy.
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And then the places that were available, you know, coffee
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shops that are kind of staying open later or a diner that's
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kind of cool. They weren't like what I was
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looking for. I wanted something like where my
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other guy friends who still drink some beers or have
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cocktails would take a break and come with me too.
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So it's been a process of almost three years of kind of living
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and breathing. I've been almost, it'll be five
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years in January coming up that, you know, having have a drink or
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put anything on my nose or anything like that, which has
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been, I mean, it's changed my entire life.
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But as you get sober and more like social again and kind of
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get your feet back under you, I started to realize there really
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isn't anywhere to hang out that is cool, elevated, connected,
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community based. That doesn't hurt, you know,
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their alcohol isn't the focus. It's more about the connection
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and the the non alcoholic options.
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So you can go on and on. No, it's that's amazing.
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And and the word it was in the article and you said it too, it
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just elevated like an elevated experience other than just
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finding somewhere where alcohol is not the focal point.
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Yeah, I mean, something something that was important to
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me. I was just going to add
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something like a real quick anecdote.
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One of the first people I met kind of in my once I started to
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realize I wanted to build this non alcoholic bar and Cafe, I
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started talking about it out loud and kind of funny in in
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recovery. Once you start sharing out loud,
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I mean you're doing it for yourself, but the people that
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you know hear those messages or can be inspired or less stigma
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create more conversation. Even me talking about opening
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this non alk bar publicly actually almost attracted
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talent. I one of the first people to
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reach out to me was incredible mixologist based here in New
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York, still drinks, but he loves the non alk world because he's
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like Carl. I make amazing non alcoholic
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beverage and he's from a restaurant in New York called 11
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Madison Park. And it's I mean, I definitely
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highly recommend Googling. It's what known as one of the
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better restaurants in the country.
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And he sat me down at the bar and served me a non out drink.
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And he said, Carl, just because you don't drink alcohol doesn't
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mean you deserve a lesser experience.
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And I was like, I almost jumped across the bar and hugged him.
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I'm like, that's what I'm looking for because I feel like
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an afterthought. I feel like you're just, you're
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not seen, you know, And I still have felt like there's so much
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more opportunity to really elevate the, the offering and
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the drinks that we serve, but also how it's served, the
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glassware. It just feels like you're a part
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of it. It's, you know, so something
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along the line started to cut you guys off.
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No, man, this is all It's very. Cool, Yeah, yeah, I mean, I, I
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just love the idea because it is true.
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I mean, I, I can't think of a, a place, or at least not here in
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Raleigh anyway, where you can, where you can go and get a, you
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know, where there's, it's not alcohol central centric or, or
12:10
even a place that you go that doesn't necessarily serve
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alcohol, but it's cool enough that you want to go there.
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I can't think of 1. There's actually, there actually
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is 1 next to Raleigh Biergarten that has come and I believe in
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gone. I was down at Raleigh Biergarten
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about a year and a half ago for Loverboy and a lot of the guests
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that you know attended had said Carl, you got to go down the
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street. There's a kind of a non alk wine
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bar and I was rooting for them and wanting them and I don't
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think they survived. And a lot I've seen this happen
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in some other cities where it's just non out drinks from like
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5:00 to 10:00 PM on a Thursday, Friday, Saturday.
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And that's cool, it's great. But you also got to run a
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business too. And what I realized is it
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doesn't just stop at non out. You need coffee, you need
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juices, seltzer's, other non alcoholic kind of functional
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beverages, even tea, cacao, matcha.
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These drinks are all common in our kind of daily lifestyle.
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But why do they got to get isolated just to the morning or
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at just coffee shops? What if we expanded that kind of
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menu in a cool space that you could come anytime of day?
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So to your point, I think Raleigh's tried it.
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I don't know if they've nailed it yet, but they're I'm rooting
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for them. I want more and more cities.
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I think that one thing I think they we did here, I say we, the
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royal, we and Raleigh tried a kind of a pop up thing it was I
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don't think that. That might have been what it
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was. I forget that they had a cheeky
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name. I I appreciate the fun kind of
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play on, you know, dry something or, you know, something along
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those lines. I forget the name of it, but
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I'll, I'll book it up and text it to you.
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But I think it's sadly shut down after like maybe a year, but it
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might have been just a pop up for a period of time.
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Yeah, and maybe just that we know people weren't quite ready
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for it and they didn't quite have something that because it
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sounds like what you're doing, not only is it non alcoholic
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beverages, but it's stuff that you can't just get somewhere
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else. So people are going to come
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there for that reason on top of the, you know, the fact that it
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is not alcohol centric and it's where people can actually just
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hang out. But you just said something
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earlier that I wanted to touch on about not feeling seen, you
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know, and I feel like that that phrase can get thrown around a
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little too pass early these days.
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But I know exactly what you mean because I travel a lot for work.
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And also my girlfriend and I, when we go to restaurants, a lot
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of times we, we'll sit at the bar because it's going to be
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faster. And sometimes I'm alone, there's
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a, there's a game on or something.
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And I'm and I will go sit at the bar and eat at the bar.
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And I swear to God, this happens every single time. 9 99 out of
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100. If I don't, when they find out
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I'm not drinking, they give me this, you know, awful look like,
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why are you wasting my time? And I'm sitting there doing the
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math I'm at. I'm like, I'm probably going to
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spend more than people who are drinking here because I'm about
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to eat a full meal, but they still resent my, my presence for
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taking up a bar stool. And I appreciate what you said
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about that. And, you know, I wanted to also
15:06
say something. You know, I remember when I met
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you out in in California, we're at Pebble Beach.
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This was in May of 2019 and I was 11 months sober.
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And I, I remember you sharing this a little bit.
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I, I, I think I remember thinking, wow, really good for
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him, but also in my body gun. I wish I could be like him
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because I, well, I'll. Be famous because you, I mean,
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you know, I'd met you there, but I was with, you know, our
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aforementioned friendship and another friend of mine and
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another guy, Austin, you know, on the show and, you know, I
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knew those guys before, especially Shep and John, other
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guy. But you, I remember you being so
15:43
supportive and kind of curious about it, you know, and like,
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not like now that sounds awful. Kind of like, man, this is
15:50
pretty impressive. I you know and.
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So I never like to say if you spot it, you got it.
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Like I kind of, I, I prior to, you know, spending some time
15:58
with you, I had had friends in my kind of circle at times that
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I'd, you know, meet someone that would say I, I don't drink
16:04
anymore, I'm sober. And you know what I would do,
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I'd almost make fun of them. And a lot of what I realize now
16:09
in my kind of recovery is, you know, I was, that's my own
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insecurity with my own relationship with substances.
16:15
But yeah, when I heard about you kind of opening up, it was I
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think honestly, it was something I in a weird way, I'm glad we
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were brought together because I, I draw back on some of those
16:24
early conversations of people that I met before I actually,
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you know, stepped into some of the rooms and really fell to my
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knees. And it's funny, some of those
16:33
folks, you know, they've been in like really inspiring to me
16:36
without even realizing it, you know, And I think that's what
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the beauty and the gift can be is, you know, you've, you know,
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Shep obviously had has had some fun.
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I know you guys probably had a great time back in the day, but
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you just seem so much more balanced and sound and just,
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yeah, you're 11 months. And I'm sure it was hard as hell
16:53
at times. And I remember my 11th month,
16:55
but you just have like a, a happiness and a general like, I
17:00
don't know, I was just lying on a freaking roller coaster that
17:02
whole trip. And I remember you just being
17:04
like cool, calm, collected the whole time.
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I appreciate you saying that. And, you know, hopefully it was
17:10
an, you know, attraction rather than promotion.
17:12
So yeah, I mean, I and I just appreciated how you, you know,
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reacted to it. And I could, I mean in hindsight
17:19
and even on it, you know, on the spot I was, I appreciated the
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way you kind of. I think a lot of us have had
17:24
that kind of interaction though, like with a bartender or waiter,
17:29
a friend or someone who's, you know, I, I, it's still very
17:32
social and I, this happens to be a fair amount.
17:34
If I'm holding something and someone comes up, oh, what are
17:36
you drinking? I'm like, I'm having a soda
17:38
water with lime and they're like, really?
17:40
And why don't you drink? Are you, what's wrong?
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I look at them dead in the eye. I go, I'm an alcoholic and a
17:44
drug addict and they're like, they like can't operate.
17:47
And I kind of love it because I just wear it on my sleeve and
17:51
they're just like, wait, what? Are you OK?
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I'm like, yeah, I'm great. I'm happy, man.
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What's going on? Yeah, exactly.
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Love it. That's amazing.
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But it's, it's not easy. I think a lot of us try to find
18:01
our way, you know, people, places and things.
18:04
And a lot of us, when you're kind of looking for your
18:06
community and people to spend time with, it could be hard to
18:10
kind of find those new places that aren't as triggering or
18:14
maybe not as, you know, tempting.
18:16
And I think hopefully with what I'm trying to do and as this
18:20
kind of shift is continuing on, just creating more of a
18:23
welcoming understanding of various types of people's
18:27
recoveries and sobriety journeys.
18:29
And you know, how they're looking at their relationship.
18:32
And the more I think we're welcoming of how people discover
18:35
things. I mean, I sure, I meet people
18:37
all the time and I know them very well or their behavior, I
18:40
could tell. And they're like, I'm not an
18:41
alcoholic. And I just like, yeah, no,
18:43
whatever works best for you. But they're part of me and my
18:45
body. I'm like, come on, man.
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I know somewhere deep in you there's something you know,
18:49
you're really not willing to be honest about.
18:51
But it's it was my hope to just really help this conversation.
18:57
Less stigma, more open honesty, less judgement.
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I think having a space like this, hopefully over time will
19:05
like create that fun, but also like, it's all good, man.
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Like, you know, however you want to come in here, we're accepting
19:12
you. We're going to serve you a great
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beverage that won't have alcohol, it'll have healthy
19:15
ingredients. They'll make you calm and focus.
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But that's my hope is just kind of one step in the hopefully the
19:21
right direction for our kind of culture around addiction and you
19:25
know, mental illness and sobriety and all that good
19:27
stuff. I.
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Mean that is amazing. I mean, that's exactly what we
19:30
need. We need, you know, less stigma,
19:32
more more acceptance. I mean, that's for sure.
19:36
Well, congratulations on your on your sobriety and also
19:38
congratulations on the opening. Is there, is there, if it does
19:41
well, I would assume are you guys looking to expand and open
19:43
in different markets? Yeah.
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No, I listen, I would love to bring this to another market.
19:48
You know, I think our team is really focused on the 1st 12
19:51
months here in Brooklyn. Trust me, I've been, I've been
19:56
doing all the research on other cities and markets.
19:58
You know, I think in other warmer markets, you know, in the
20:02
South, I think, I mean, I think a Charleston for this, I think a
20:05
Raleigh, I think a Charlotte, some of those really nice
20:08
affluent neighborhoods where you have a healthier mindset or more
20:11
Wellness. But also even some of these
20:14
younger markets and younger areas where the bar scene or
20:18
club scene, but I think the stat is there's like 40,000 liquor
20:22
stores in the US and around the same amount of bars.
20:26
And I think about maybe a little bit less than that in coffee
20:29
shops. So there could be like 10 soft
20:31
bars. It's kind of my thing, but we do
20:35
want to expand but, and you guys hopefully appreciate this, but
20:38
we're trying to build soft bar just one step at a time, one day
20:41
at a time. You know, I don't want to get 2
20:42
future trips. I'm really enjoying the present
20:45
moment We have, we got to operate our place.
20:47
We've got to really take care of our customers.
20:50
We're going to work some kinks out.
20:52
And you know, last I was there last night and I actually was
20:55
the one locking the door at 11:00 last night, turning the
20:58
lights off, you know, so I'm, I'm not running the joint, but
21:02
you know, I'm learning a lot too as a business owner.
21:04
So it's, it's been really honestly amazing.
21:07
And I have a great team. And I'll just say this little
21:10
anecdote. One of my team members who's
21:11
sober came from another bar in New York that was very heavy
21:16
consumption and a lot of other substances were being used not
21:20
only by the customers, but staff.
21:22
And he's like he said to me there, he's like, so this is
21:24
what it's like working at a not toxic bar.
21:28
And I'm like, yeah, like that's, that's what I want.
21:30
So you get like a the energy of our team and staff in this
21:33
environment. It's a lot more balanced.
21:36
It's not like this. Well, you're also.
21:38
From everything you just said, you're letting your recovery
21:40
guide how you're looking at the business and not getting ahead
21:44
of yourself, not future tripping one day at a time.
21:47
You know, and that it it when you were talking about how you,
21:50
you know, when you were still, when you were drinking and
21:52
you're working and and selling, you know, alcohol, you know, you
21:57
had an alcohol, a non non alcoholic beverage you're
22:01
selling. And but your job, you were able
22:04
to stay sober in that job and met that guy who had 17 years.
22:07
Made me think we have we had a James Beard award winner, chef,
22:12
restaurant proprietor on here who's got, you know, probably 22
22:17
years now. And he had a similar situation.
22:20
He was newly sober and he was having to go and do wine
22:25
tastings and had his and you know, Saumonier do it like they
22:30
had some system worked out where they guy was like trying to help
22:33
him where he would secretly taste it and kind of let him
22:36
know what he thought. And, but the point is, you know,
22:40
we can be, so we can stay sober anywhere as long as we're, we're
22:43
spiritually fit. And you know what?
22:46
When people ask me because I'm a I'm a social guy too.
22:49
And but what I don't do is try to do everything I did before I
22:53
got sober and just go hang out in bars and drink ginger ale or
22:58
just go to like late nights and drink Powerade 0.
23:01
You know, I, I, you know, if I have a good reason to be
23:04
somewhere, if I have a friend in town, I'll meet that friend at a
23:07
bar for whatever, But I don't, I'm not going to go post up at a
23:09
bar at 5:00 on a Tuesday and sit there.
23:12
But with this, I like the idea of having something where I
23:15
don't, you know, I want to be spiritually fit anyway, but I
23:17
don't have to be. I don't have to pray in the car
23:20
or in the parking lot or, you know, bus stop or and subway
23:23
stop before I go in to soft bar. Yeah, exactly.
23:26
Like I think just the idea of the acceptance, right?
23:29
Somebody, you know, who's, you know, a veteran or newly in
23:32
sobriety, being able to walk in there and just, you know, feel
23:35
at home. I mean, that's amazing.
23:37
And that I've seen, you know, I've had some friends and
23:40
colleagues that come in from the program.
23:42
There's friends that are, you know, Carl, I just, I'm with
23:46
like 4 days in and I'm like, hell yeah, I'm glad you're here.
23:49
You know, and we, we really wanted to be something that you
23:54
could come by yourself or come for connection.
23:58
Yeah, I view we're going to have, I've had people reach out
24:00
about having fellowship there, which I think is a great thing,
24:04
you know, post meetings or post, you know, Wellness activities.
24:09
But I wanted something that, you know, you either come for
24:11
connection or come for connection with yourself and
24:14
finding that space to sit down kind of, you know, feel like
24:18
you're a part of the the culture and like participating in life.
24:22
And I, I've personally experienced in my early, you
24:25
know, sobriety was where do I, where do I go?
24:28
Who do I like, how do I like fit back in?
24:31
And New York City is a different animal than some other major
24:34
cities out there. But here in New York especially,
24:37
what was interesting is once I stepped through that door, there
24:39
was a whole new city here for me.
24:42
And I feel like this is another part of that kind of lifestyle
24:45
for people like myself that is so important.
24:48
And it's just been lacking, you know, and I feel very lucky to
24:52
be in a position to create something like this and really
24:55
be passionate. It almost feels like my calling,
24:58
you know, And I, like I said, I'm very social.
25:00
I love being out and about, but I've had my moments where I'm
25:04
like, I don't really want to be here at all.
25:06
I don't feel welcome here even though I am.
25:08
But I really once I was at softball yesterday watching
25:12
friends, some friends that came from, you know, the a community,
25:16
some friends that are just taking a break and they're all
25:19
like Carl, I feel so good here. And that makes me just feel
25:24
that's like the best. It's like that feeling they'll
25:25
they'll get of warmth and welcoming connection, community,
25:30
you know, finding your people. And I think I looked over
25:33
yesterday, there was people that are meeting each other, just
25:35
sitting there talking and I didn't facilitate anything.
25:37
And so this is the first day of like official business.
25:40
But, you know, I hope to see more of that, you know, as we
25:43
get open more. That's amazing, you know, and
25:46
you and what you said too about getting sober in New York or or
25:49
any city, but especially I find that cities where they're
25:52
they're wild and there are lots of party where there's a huge
25:56
party scene that usually the recovery scene is incredible,
25:59
are purportedly large. We have an amazing group of, you
26:03
know, the sober community in New York is very vast.
26:07
You know, you've got a lot of long time long timers, you got a
26:10
lot of newcomers. But then this kind of advent of
26:13
like this, you know, this health and Wellness movement, you know,
26:16
it's really catapulted a lot of other folks that aren't
26:18
drinking, but necessarily wouldn't go to a A.
26:21
So I've learned a lot just kind of like balancing, you know,
26:24
folks that are figuring out things for themselves.
26:26
And I try to just be a person that, you know, I really only
26:29
know what works best for me. You know, I try to, I'm not a
26:32
doctor or a guru, but I certainly love helping people.
26:36
If they want, you know, and they're seeking a little
26:38
support, I can direct them to a meeting.
26:41
But I love New York because it's like when people tell me they're
26:44
like taking that step, I'm like, I smile because I'm like, dude,
26:47
we got the Tuesday nights in Chinatown.
26:49
It's unbelievable. Wednesdays in Greenpoint, we go
26:53
to Central Park on Saturday and do you know a diner after the
26:56
meeting? It's the best diner on the Upper
26:57
West Side. My meetings that I go to and the
27:00
people I have community with, it's like I look forward to
27:03
seeing them. And it's a part of your
27:06
lifestyle in New York. And I would say New York's the
27:10
best city for meetings, truthfully, because the amount
27:13
of all different types of people you encounter in the room and
27:17
those stories and the walks of life and the backgrounds and the
27:20
ethnicities and diversities, it's unmatched.
27:24
So I feel very lucky. And I know some other cities
27:26
aren't, as you know, vast with the options of meetings.
27:29
But you know, here in New York, it's, it's been really good for
27:32
me in that sense. Like I didn't realize New York
27:34
would be so cool not drinking. I hear, you know, I used to have
27:39
a good friend who helped me, you know, my early sobriety and he
27:42
lived in New York when he was in his mid 20s, been sober for a
27:46
few years. And I was like, how, first of
27:47
all, why would you even do that? That sounds awful.
27:50
Because I, you know, I lived there from my mid 20s to early
27:53
30s about as far from being sober as a person can get.
27:56
And now, I mean, I've been to New York 3 or 4 times in, in
27:59
sobriety and I do like, you know, I, I go to the best
28:03
meeting so, you know, and I can walk everywhere and it's, it is,
28:05
it's like what the city, I mean, I was so jaded.
28:09
I remember one time I was at a bar on a Sunday watching
28:12
football with a bunch of people, mostly from the South who lived
28:16
in New York. And this guy's wife looked at
28:18
us, said, you know, there's really nothing to do in New York
28:21
other than drink. And she was sort of kidding, but
28:24
but like, also sort of serious. And now we were like, yeah,
28:27
you're right, you know. And I mean, and it's, you know,
28:30
the biggest city in the country. It's the arguably the cultural
28:33
capital of the world, financial capital of the world, more
28:35
museums, more cultural things to do.
28:37
And I never did any of them unless one of my parents was in
28:40
town. And I would kind of like, you
28:41
know, OK, I'll go to that play or we'll do this thing.
28:44
But otherwise it was all I did was go out and party and I would
28:48
work. But I was going to add like one
28:50
of the you said it best because the museum's the art, the
28:52
culture here, the food, you know, the non out beverage.
28:57
This city opened up for me once I stepped through that door.
29:01
And funny enough, I I do a meeting on Saturday morning in
29:04
Central Park at it's an area on the Upper West Side called
29:07
Strawberry Fields. And it's right across the street
29:10
from the Dakota where, you know, the John Lennon tragedy
29:12
happened. But there's a lot of, like, I
29:14
don't know, just like energy in this little section of
29:17
strawberry Fields. And my meeting meets there.
29:19
And the first time I got brought to this meeting by my sponsor
29:23
went way back when I first, you know, hit rock bottom.
29:26
I had the revelation of the meeting, the meeting that
29:29
morning, that I'd never been in the park sober before.
29:32
And I lived in New York like 10 years at that point.
29:34
I'm like, I've never been in the park sober because I used to go
29:38
to Sheep's Meadow. You pack a cooler day, drink and
29:41
walk through or ride a city bike.
29:42
But I had never actually 10 toes been in this this park sober,
29:46
clear headed. Now I was like overwhelmed with
29:50
just a feeling of like, OK, like this is where I'm supposed to
29:52
be. The birds are chirping.
29:53
I can smell things. I can hear things I can see
29:57
clearly. So the city itself, you know,
30:01
has offered a ton of things that have I've, I live a fruitful
30:04
life and I've enjoyed these other places that I never yeah,
30:09
I would be that same person at the bar.
30:10
Oh, I don't have time to do anything because I'm so busy
30:13
while I stay at a bar for four hours on a Sunday staring at a
30:16
brick wall and A and a flat screen TV.
30:19
Yep, it's funny too, because I, you know, it says and without
30:24
getting too into one thing, but then the 12:00 and 12:00, then
30:28
step three, it says the more dependent we are on a higher
30:32
power, the more independent we are as a result.
30:34
And you know, I kind of think about that as, you know, being
30:37
spiritually independent and not so selfish and self-centered and
30:40
thinking about myself for good or for bad.
30:43
But also the more I do for my recovery, the more time I have
30:46
for everything else. And like you just said, before I
30:49
got sober, I wasn't, I was not doing very much with my life,
30:53
but yet I had no time to do anything.
30:55
I was always in a rush, always late or barely on time and just
30:59
frazzled. But yet I had literally nothing
31:02
going on. And now I'm just, I've got so
31:03
much going on, but yet I end up having time for everything
31:05
because I, you know, put my recovery first.
31:08
It's just a paradox. And that's kind of how I've got
31:11
my people, you know, my assistant who helped me set this
31:14
whole thing up and on my calendar, you know, she helps
31:17
you stay organized. But I've never been busier in my
31:20
life. But I'm really aligned in those
31:23
things that I'm busy with, you know, before my busyness was,
31:27
was not aligned with like what was best for my lifestyle.
31:29
You know, it was chasing a girl, chasing a, you know, a high or
31:34
chasing a drug, chasing a nightlife moment.
31:37
For now, I'm chasing like waking up at 5:30 because I got to run
31:41
because I got a big meeting in the morning and I like to run
31:43
before I'm eating. So my brain's right.
31:45
I'm feeling good. You know, I'm like, I got to,
31:48
I'm busy for the right reasons. And I feel so lucky to have the
31:53
time and energy to really go after it.
31:55
But people like, how do you do all this shit?
31:56
I'm like, I do it because like I stay sober and like, that's the
32:00
first thing I do in the morning is, you know, meditate at Lord's
32:04
Prayer. I do log on to some virtual
32:06
meetings at times. I get the daily readings and
32:08
stuff. If I do that stuff each day,
32:11
then I can all these other things on my list just gives me
32:14
the fuel to go after it. And that's, it's been like eye
32:17
opening because I have all this energy and all this time to
32:20
really go for the things I've been wanting to do, which before
32:22
I used to make countless excuses for.
32:25
I mean, even getting a haircut, I'd be like, I don't have time
32:27
for a haircut. It's insane.
32:28
But the haircut actually is for me is like part of my mental
32:31
health and like my like Wellness routine.
32:33
I feel better when I get a clean cut shaved.
32:36
And it's all part of that feeling I try to give myself
32:39
each day. Absolutely.
32:41
That's fantastic. I know there's such a.
32:43
Thing as I got like a haircut high, but I I get a haircut high
32:46
out there. Hey, I can relate to that.
32:48
I I love a good haircut. Yeah, like I.
32:50
Love like on the back of my back?
32:52
Yeah. Sideburns cleaned up.
32:55
That's the best. So are you.
32:57
You're an early morning runner it sounds like.
32:59
Yeah, I've been, it's funny, like I had a therapist who said,
33:03
you know, Carl, look at like the time of day you're born.
33:06
Like when you're like ask your mom, like when you were brought
33:08
into this world, like what time of day?
33:10
And she was like, you were like born at like 5:00 AM.
33:12
And apparently there's some science or some sort of thing
33:15
around the time of day you were actually born.
33:17
And you're either a morning person or if you were born in
33:19
the evening, you might be a night person.
33:22
So I'm now really honor my body. Like I'm like, I'm up naturally
33:26
around 5:30 and 6:00 every day. My brain is at peak thinking,
33:31
but I got to do those meditations.
33:32
I get outside and run. But what's funny is people like,
33:35
why do you wake up so early, man?
33:37
I'm like, honestly, no one's fucking bothering you from 5:30
33:40
to 9:00 AM because they're all sleeping in or starting their
33:43
days in other ways. So it's allowed me a lot of like
33:45
a block. I have my routine in that first
33:47
hour and a half of the day, which pretty much sets me up for
33:51
the rest of the day. And that's such an important
33:54
part. But running in the morning,
33:55
especially in the summer because it gets hot out here, is also
33:59
important. Unless you want to, you know,
34:01
collapse on the side of the highway with all the heat that
34:03
coming in. And sure, in the South, too, you
34:04
guys have to run early. Oh yeah, it's the same.
34:07
Here are you a big runner? Down there.
34:10
Yeah, I enjoy. Running and actually.
34:11
I can completely relate with what you just said.
34:13
I'm an early more always been an early morning guy.
34:17
Yeah, same thing. You know, the the wife and the
34:19
kids are still asleep and the rest of the half of the world is
34:21
still asleep and like, yeah, man, it just there's nothing
34:23
like it. It's me time, do my thing,
34:25
center myself. I would not give it up for
34:28
anything in the world. Yeah, I think that's one of the
34:30
biggest. 210. In the morning.
34:32
Well, I used to I. Used to crawl in AT7730.
34:36
No big deal not crawling it. I'd be running through the door
34:39
thinking the party is still going.
34:42
Yeah, the the. Early rising.
34:44
Has been the kind of a bio hack or life hack that for me has
34:47
worked really, really well. Stacking that with, you know,
34:50
the meditation and therapy and going to meetings running a lot.
34:54
That is going to be part of like just having that consistency.
34:58
And for my program that's been really important.
35:00
Just every day having a certain there's like a there's a famous
35:04
book from a military general. It's like you make your bed
35:07
every morning kind of thing. And I've been doing that even
35:10
before I got sober just because my grandfather instilled in me
35:13
this the first task you accomplished of the day.
35:16
It's, you know, kind of that effort you put in.
35:18
And as silly as it sounds, it does kind of set yourself up
35:22
for, you know, more success for that day.
35:24
So I, I subscribe to that kind of stuff a lot.
35:28
I do too. And even when.
35:29
I'm traveling and I'm in a hotel room and I wake up super early
35:32
in some city for a conference or some work related thing and
35:36
housekeeping has obviously not come yet at 5:30 in the morning.
35:39
I'll still make my bed in the hotel knowing that somebody's
35:42
still going to come clean it just because I want to start my
35:44
day like that. Nice.
35:45
Yep, I make my bed in my hotel too.
35:46
It's. Like it's got to be just, it's
35:48
like that act of, you know, participating in life and you're
35:52
accomplishing a little some, just a little something that
35:54
gets you in the right direction. Absolutely.
35:58
Well, what well, how this is probably a good place to kind of
36:01
wind it up, man. And I, I, I'm so glad you
36:03
mentioned the meditation. And also I just wanted to say I
36:05
was, you know, looking at your Radke Boys website and you have
36:10
a bunch of resources on there and you've mentioned that I'm
36:12
going to add you guys to. My site after this actually,
36:15
because I've well, that'd be awesome, but but I just.
36:18
Appreciate everything that you have up there.
36:19
You know, and it seems pretty agnostic in terms of, you know,
36:22
different types of ways and to look at recovery and because,
36:26
you know, we don't, nobody has a monopoly on it, you know,
36:28
whatever works well, Yeah. The, the.
36:30
Website was something I launched a couple like almost three years
36:33
ago because what I, you know, I'm very fortunate to be in a
36:36
position of influence on. I've been on reality TV 10
36:39
years. I've shared a lot about my ups
36:40
and downs. Even if you go way back, you
36:43
could see my behavior, you know, point blank center.
36:46
I mean most people that are are alcoholic or in the program can
36:49
see old episodes be like dude thank God you you found your
36:52
people but it's. Yeah, it's been like a.
36:56
It's been a crazy journey. I forget what I was even saying
37:00
that I I just lost the reason I thought, oh, good.
37:03
Yeah. So I wanted to because I get a
37:06
lot of messages on social media for being on for 10.
37:10
Years. I get a lot of questions and I
37:12
love being able to help people. I want to support.
37:15
I want to give back. But when you get a volume of
37:18
just, it's really hard. So what I wanted to create is
37:21
like a destination spot, a place where someone could just log on.
37:26
It's an. Honor of my brother it's.
37:28
Got things about him, steps I've taken, things that I do that you
37:32
know, keep me sane and sober. Resources like you mentioned,
37:36
some articles. I also do a monthly newsletter
37:39
to those subscribers just to give them updates of what I'm
37:42
doing in my life. Show them all my, you know,
37:44
listen, it's not all Peaches and cream here.
37:47
Like, I have my ups and downs still, but they're much better
37:50
and how I manage them and how I react to them.
37:53
But it's just nice to be able to offer at the other day.
37:57
The whole point of doing a lot of this is to help someone,
38:01
being in a position of being in this platform and being able to
38:05
sure, make a little bit of money, have fun.
38:06
Your ego gets stroked all the time.
38:08
But if you're not extending back to those that got you here or
38:13
people that follow you along or rooted for you, what are you
38:17
doing? And I feel a sense of obligation
38:20
to do my. Best in.
38:23
My own way to give back and try and help in like I always try to
38:26
caution people because I I am not a doctor or therapist.
38:28
What I realized is I'm more relatable than the doctor or the
38:33
therapist to them. You know, where they can see
38:36
something that's maybe reminds them of themselves so they feel
38:40
comfortable maybe asking me. So it's been, it's a better
38:42
process for me to learn how to navigate being so public and
38:46
being in this position. But the website for me was
38:49
something I felt I was inspired by Jason Waller, truthfully, he
38:53
was a former reality TV guy who got sober and his website was
38:57
amazing. And I used his website when I
38:59
first got sober because I was like OK.
39:01
Reality TV guy. He's smart here.
39:04
What's he doing on the site? And he had all sorts of
39:06
information and resources and tools and I hope to add to my
39:09
site as I continue to kind of grow, you know, my business and
39:12
my own personal brand. So yeah, I appreciate you saying
39:15
that. Yeah, when we appreciate.
39:17
You being, you know, open about it, but also more attraction
39:21
rather than promotion because people, you know, celebrity,
39:25
celebrity who's like an actor or a movie star is that was that it
39:30
was and is very important for me to see that people who kind of
39:33
have everything still choose to live this way.
39:35
But in the case of a reality star, they've literally seen you
39:40
live the other way on TV for, you know, however many years it
39:43
was on before you did get sober. And to really be able to see
39:46
somebody who has that life just sitting there on a silver
39:50
platter, but then, you know, needed to hit a bottom, you
39:54
know, and your brother's story, you know, like, I mean, my dad
39:57
died right before I got sober and his illness and death, you
40:00
know, I, I use it as a airtight excuse to self medicate, which
40:04
ultimately led to me getting sober.
40:06
You know, and I always say that the most valuable thing he left
40:08
me was my sobriety. But they saw.
40:11
You for however many years living like that, hit a bottom
40:14
and then live like this now. And so there's no there's no
40:17
more documented way to see somebody actually getting sober.
40:21
You can kind of hear about it like an actor, but you don't
40:23
really see in their day-to-day. So this is kind of like a next
40:26
level documentary of somebody actually getting sober.
40:29
It's amazing. Yeah, I I guess I didn't clock
40:31
it. The way I mean, you describe it
40:32
so well, you know, But yeah, like it.
40:36
That's funny. I've.
40:36
Had even some people that come up to me in the street or
40:39
occasionally stop me, like I love that character.
40:41
You're playing early seasons of Summer House.
40:43
I was like character. Yeah.
40:46
No, that's that's. Me.
40:47
And, you know, my mom even said at one point she's like Carl,
40:49
it's like watching you on steroids.
40:51
And I was like, well, kind of was in a in a different way.
40:56
But yeah, I mean, I without realizing early on in our show's
40:59
history, I partied, I drank, I stayed up late.
41:04
I did pretty wild things, but I didn't think about what that
41:07
would look like on TV later. But what I didn't have the.
41:11
The power to handle. Was when it did air 6-7 months
41:14
later I was watching it back and using while watching.
41:18
So I drank and do cocaine to process like how I didn't wasn't
41:23
proud of my behavior. I was very embarrassed and
41:25
shameful. But over time, yeah.
41:29
I mean, I think people were like almost praying for me to get
41:32
some help because they were seeing me at such dark depths.
41:36
And then as I kind of got really honest and opened up, the door
41:40
just kicked wide open of other people pouring in.
41:42
I thought I was going to lose. I lost some friends, but for the
41:45
right reasons, some people came in my life for the right
41:48
reasons, some people left. But I've thought across the
41:51
board, as soon as I raised my hand, said I'm an alcoholic and
41:54
a cocaine addict and all these things that everybody's be like,
41:56
Oh my God, Carl's the worst. It was the exact opposite.
41:59
It was I'm like, everybody was like, thank God you're honest,
42:01
man. Like we knew it the whole time.
42:05
You. Guys knew.
42:06
There was like, yeah, so there's been a lot of interesting things
42:10
since I've kind of come clean publicly, but for me, it's been,
42:15
it's changed my. Life and I still.
42:17
To this day, I've told this story a lot actually recently,
42:20
just because of all the soft bar stuff.
42:21
But I get stopped occasionally in New York.
42:24
You know, people ask for picture because they're fans of Bravo
42:26
and I love meeting people. I'm very social.
42:30
But I had a woman stop. Me coming up the.
42:31
Subway stairs down in Rockefeller Center in Midtown.
42:34
I was coming up she's coming down.
42:37
I can sometimes tell when someone sees me and like maybe
42:39
recognizes me. I you've probably seen this with
42:41
chef before, but this girl kind of walks by and I can feel her
42:45
energy and she like says Carl and I turn and I kind of look at
42:49
her and she looks at me and I come back down the stairs to
42:51
meet her so I'm like, hi, how are you?
42:53
And she's like, I just wanted you to know she's like nervous,
42:55
kind of shaking. She's like, you're the reason I
42:57
got sober and I like. Took a deep breath and I'm like.
43:01
Looking around like me, she's like, yeah, like and I, it took
43:05
me a second, but what I said to her and I said, I'm honored.
43:07
I'm so thankful that I've been able to help you help yourself.
43:11
And I go, you've done the work. Give yourself some credit, you
43:15
know, be great, you know, be gentle with yourself.
43:17
But I'm really proud of you. But what I want you to remember
43:19
is this, just like I impacted you without realizing it, you're
43:24
going to impact someone in your life, a Co worker, a friend, a
43:27
colleague, because they're going to see you over time in these
43:31
next few months, hopefully. Work in a good program.
43:34
And becoming happier, healthier, more sound and.
43:38
I think you're going to. Impact someone without even
43:40
realizing it and that's how it works and she was like really
43:43
touched by that and we hugged each other and she was even
43:46
crying. I unlock it was a probably a 2
43:49
minute interaction not even I kept walked up the stairs and
43:52
I'm just like scratching my head I'm like just keep doing it keep
43:55
going just keep doing what's keep working on myself share out
43:59
loud be honest find you know that community participate show
44:04
up for others and that's what happens like holy shit and it
44:08
makes you almost makes you want to cry honestly, because I
44:11
didn't I never realized sorry I wasn't expecting to get
44:14
emotional yeah it's amazing Thank you.
44:16
I just. Never realized being in a
44:17
position. Of like I signed up to be on TV
44:20
to get drunk and have a good time, not to save someone's life
44:24
or inspire them. But as I've realized my role and
44:29
where I sit now, I feel it's deep sense of obligation to help
44:34
other people because I'm in this position.
44:38
If one person is helped or inspired or picks up the phone,
44:42
that's why I do it. And for that to kind of come to
44:46
realization and as subway platform, it's just like.
44:50
That's what that's what it's all about.
44:51
So I feel really lucky. I'm very grateful that I've been
44:54
in this kind of, you know, position to help someone, man, I
44:58
hear. You and then thank you for yeah,
45:00
thank you for being here and that's the purpose of this
45:03
podcast. We always we if this just helps
45:05
one person, it's all worth it. That's right.
45:06
Exactly so, and I applaud. Everything you guys do and I
45:09
think something I've if I could just be completely open is like,
45:13
you know, I haven't spent a life and I haven't opened a rehab
45:16
facility. I, I don't, you know, I haven't
45:19
gone to a formal rehab before. I was lucky.
45:21
I worked steps and found my my people that way but I know how
45:25
hard it. Is, you know, I.
45:26
Lost a sibling to really difficult disease, but the work
45:29
you guys are doing and the, the difficulty in some of that and
45:35
how hard it is, I just, I almost feel like guilty that I haven't,
45:39
you know, my way of healing and giving back has been, I want to
45:41
create this space. I want to create this community,
45:44
but there's other work being done in addiction and sobriety
45:47
and mental health and recovery that is so important and so
45:50
powerful that it's hard. And I have friends here in New
45:53
York, Zach Clark, who runs Release Recovery, and I'm
45:57
running the New York City Marathon in support of Release
46:00
Recovery. So the money that I'll raise
46:02
will actually give to an individual who can't afford, you
46:06
know, those services, whether it's counseling or rehab clinics
46:09
or variety of services they provide.
46:14
But I look at Zach sometimes and I'm like, this guy's actually
46:16
doing it. You know, what am I doing?
46:19
I'm sort of you're doing it, but we.
46:22
Can all do the same thing, you know it's.
46:23
It's definitely it takes a village man.
46:26
Yeah, it's just like there's like this.
46:27
Juxtaposition sometimes in this world where I feel like I don't
46:31
do enough and I get more credit than I deserve, and I think
46:33
that's my own alcoholism. Talking to me inside.
46:37
My own character flaws, but it's it's something that isn't lost
46:41
on me and I just wanted to let you guys know like it what you
46:44
guys are doing for recovery and for people that don't know how
46:48
to start or don't know where to begin or can't help themselves,
46:51
it's it's powerful. So thank you guys.
46:54
Thank you for saying that and. Thank you for all that you do.
46:58
And thank you so much for being here today.
47:00
And will you just tell our audience how they can find you,
47:04
Find soft bar, find Radke boys, whatever you want them to know.
47:09
Yeah. I mean, it's my.
47:10
Whole life is an open buffet out there.
47:13
I love, you know, sharing. So you know, Instagram is
47:17
probably where you can find a lot of my soft bar related
47:20
things, but I'm at Carl Radke and I'm Carl with AC and my last
47:24
name is RADKE. So you can find me on Instagram
47:28
TikTok and then also on, you know, LinkedIn is great too.
47:33
If anybody professionally looking to connect.
47:35
I, you know, I'm an entrepreneur, but outside of
47:38
that, you know, radkeboys.com, really, if you're struggling or
47:43
just want a little inspiration or want to read about someone
47:45
else's been through some shit, head to that site.
47:49
There's resources, there's links I'd love to add finding new
47:51
waters because I have it, I have it located by state.
47:55
So if you're in Pennsylvania or New Jersey or North Carolina,
47:59
you have some resources you could tap into.
48:02
And that's my old thing is I want to help direct and help
48:05
facilitate as much as possible. So I, I find myself trying to
48:09
help, you know, send people to various places.
48:12
But yeah, you can find me on all social platforms.
48:15
And if you really like watching TV, you could find me on Peacock
48:18
or Bravo. Hey, man.
48:22
Well, just thank you, thank you, thank you.
48:24
It's so good to see you again. Look forward to seeing you in
48:27
real life. No, if you guys come up.
48:29
To the New York City market at all.
48:31
Would love to host you guys at Soft Bar.
48:34
You know, it's funny, we have a podcast studio above the space
48:39
that I am renting out to creators also, and I'm doing my
48:42
own interviews up there. So maybe there's a world where
48:45
we can have you guys come visit or do an episode.
48:49
My whole thing is, you know, I wanted to have these more
48:51
meaningful conversations like we're having right now and
48:54
getting to the heart of the stuff.
48:57
Some of these other folks, deepest, darkest.
48:59
But how are you living now and how are you living this
49:02
fulfilling life? And what are the things you do
49:04
on a daily basis? I hope to get to like the kind
49:07
of the core of some people's recovery doesn't always have to
49:10
be about that, but I'm excited for you guys to see the space.
49:13
If you do come, come visit up up to Brooklyn.
49:16
I'll take I'll take extra VIP care of you guys.
49:18
So I believe it and I-100. Percent well, man, we I for sure
49:23
we will take you up on that, but I hope it is a resounding
49:28
success and that you know you're able to open more when the time
49:31
is right one day at a time. But Yep, thank you, Carl.
49:34
Thank you, Carl. No appreciate it.
49:36
This is awesome. I I kind of needed this today.
49:38
I been so busy and you got a lot coming at you, but you got to
49:43
check in with. With the right people.
49:44
And I, I feel really, I know my heart's feeling really good
49:47
right now. I needed, needed this stuff.
49:48
Thank you guys. Thank you.
49:50
Thank you if. You liked what you heard today
49:52
or just want to know more? Give us a call on 9196708119 or
49:58
visit us at newwatersrecovery.com.
50:01
Thank you.