Latest / Great Detectives of Old Time Radio Volume 2|Mystery Audio Dramas / The Saint: The Birds and Bees of East Orange (EP1605)

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The Saint: The Birds and Bees of East Orange (EP1605) · Great Detectives of Old Time Radio Volume 2|Mystery Audio Dramas

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Welcome to the Great Detectives of Old Time Radio from Boise, Idaho. This
0:34
is your host, Adam Graham. If you have a comment, email it
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to me Box thirteen at Greatdetectives dot net, follow us on Twitter at Radio
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Detectives, and become one of our friends on Facebook, Facebook dot com slash
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Radio Detectives. Before we do get started, I do want to let you
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know this program's brought to you by the financial support of our listeners, and
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you can support the show at support dot Great Detectives dot net. You can
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also contribute to us a monthly at Patreon dot Great Detectives dot net. Now
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it's time for today's episode of The Saint. The original airdate March the eighteenth
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of nineteen fifty one and the title is The Birds and Bees of East Orange,
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The Adventures of the Saints, starring Vincent Price. The Saint, based
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on characters created by Leslie Charteris and known to millions from books, magazines,
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and motion pictures. The robin Hood of Modern Crime now comes transcribed to radio,
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starring Hollywood's brilliant and talented actor Vincent Price as the Saint. M who
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oh it's you. For a minute, I thought I just stopped in for
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a book. Yeah, that's it, you know what? No? All
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right, all right, Rome wasn't built in a day? How long did
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it take? What? Never mind? You're Simon Templar. Yah, then
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please let me in quickly? Of course I'm going crazy. Well could you
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wait until we got into the living room chairs? There? You see?
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Maybe you won't believe me, but I am going crazy? Well all right,
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but sit down. No, why, you're very pretty and I'm glad
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you came to visit, but I won't have you going crazy in my apartment.
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Where should I go crazy? I have a suggestion, don't go at
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all. You don't understand. My name is may Own. How do you
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do? I'm going crazy? We're explaining why. I'm sorry. You see,
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I own a little bookstore, and you've been reading all the best sellers.
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Course not. I just read books. I don't have to read them.
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Oh, my apologies. A circulating library, that's right? And are
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you starting to cry? You have beautiful eyes and lovely last year? Do
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they belong to you? Of course they do? Amazing, man, I
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beg your pardon, abel on my lishes. Oh I'm not going to cry
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anymore. Good now, then you own a circulating library to tell me what's
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bothering you? What is mister Templar, have you ever heard of a book
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called Birds and Bees of East Orange? It's been a luckier man that I'd
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realized. The answer is no. What about it? Well, mister Templar,
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in the last month, that book has been constantly in demand. It's
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crazy. Who cares about the birds and bees of East Orange? I don't
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know. He goes out of the library, a reservation, comes in,
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as soon as it comes back to the library, goes out again, and
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then another reservation, and then it comes in and goes out and comes in.
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Well, why should that happen all the time? Well, perhaps the
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author has a lot of relatives. You still don't understand. Is there anything
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to understand? For some reason or other the book happens to be popular,
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and well, there's no real problem. But there is. You see the
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people who've been taking that book out all the time, Well, they're the
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same people there it is, mister Templar, stop right here, Louis,
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Okay, mister Temple, Well I should wait, mister Temple. I want
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you should wait, Louis. I'll wait, mister Templar. Yes me,
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you're not speaking to me. I'm trying to invent a good reason why I'm
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going to your bookstore with you? Oh me? Could I seriously tell anyone
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I'm going to a bookstore at this hour of the night in order to look
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at a book called The Birds and Bees of East Orange. Sure you could,
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but they wouldn't believe me, just as I don't believes my place.
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Huh. It's nice, it's small, but the books get in all right,
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so that's convenient. Just a minute till I put the lights one.
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I'd better shut the door before any midnight browsers come around now, The Birds
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and Bees of East Orange. Yes, well, it came in just before
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I shut up shop. It's on reserve though, of course, of course,
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so I left it behind the counter. Well who reserved it? One
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of the people who've been taking it out regularly? Ya? It should be
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down here, may, Oh, don't faint, I've got a right.
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No, no, no, what is it? Oh man down here behind
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the counter? Get out of there and let me take a look at him?
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All right? Ordinary kitchen knife buried in his chest hasn't been dead very
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long. The body's still warm. Me who is he? I never saw
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him before? You sure, of course I am. He doesn't even look
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like the kind of man who ever read a book. I'm not so sure
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of that. Where is the Birds in the Bees book? I left it
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on the shelf right here. I don't understand I left it here. It's
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on reserve has been canceled. Mister Bieber will be terribly angry, mister Bieber
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being the man who had the reservation. That's right, you have a file
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card for him. I'd like to see it. It's back in this drawer.
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Keep all the rental library customer's cards in a box. What is it?
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File cards? They're all gone? That helps may. Would you happen
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to remember mister Bieber's address? Yes, I do. It's a hotel,
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which is easy. I thank Heaven. Something is easy? Which hotel?
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Good? Now? You said the same people kept on taking the East Orange
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Book out all the time, the same three people. Well, mister Bieber,
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of course yes. And then there's a girl named Wendy Willkins. You
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know that name sounds funny as it does. The other one's funny too.
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It's Peter Piper. Peter Piper. Uh. It shouldn't be hard finding someone
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named Peter Piper. No, not if it happens to be his real name.
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However, we do have mister Bieber and an address. Yeah, that's
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of course, I don't know his name. He never took a book out.
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What are you doing here? Maybe this gentleman never took a book out,
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But luckily he did take out a driver's license. Oh his wallet?
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Yeah yeah, his name is Dugan, James Dugan, and his occupation had
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on his license too. No. No, these, however, were in
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his vest pocket. Their dice, aren't they? Yes, professional style dice
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in a handsome leather case. Therefore Occupation Gambler. H gosh, you figured
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that out pretty quickly. I think we better phone the police and tell them
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mister Duke and Gambler has cast his last die. Surely got a picture of
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the counter at some of the back door huh? Alright? Cover that?
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Oh uh, Trampler, Yes, Lieutenant Ellie giv I just did. Huh.
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On March fifteenth, Oh say a templar. You and the girl found
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a stiff by accident. Huh. Yes, of course he's a total stranger
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to both of us. Yes, so the girl said, Jimmy marks the
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outside door. A stiff was carrying a Jimmy are you deducing Lieutenant Folly?
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He broke into the place. Why he had a fire, but no good
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book to curl up with. Good by, mister Templar. You want me
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and me to leave? I want you to leave. Oh, but I'll
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be all right, mister Templar. The lieutenant's very nice, so be silly.
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Actually is known as Minnelli, the monster, the horror of headquarters.
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Excuse me, don't let his polished manage deceive you me. You're not telling
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him about the birds and the bees. No, I'm not sure. I'm
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leaving now. By request, Where are you going to see a man about
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a book? Good evening. I'd like to see mister Bieber well Wood,
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you know, and I know you're not mister Biber. Eh, mister Biber
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wouldn't use perfume? And may I come in? I hate to look in
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hotel corridors. You make them in. Thank you? Is your husband here?
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I'm not married? Sorry, and I haven't had time to think about
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it. All right, think about it. If you're under the impression that
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you're helping my mental process, I'm not well. My name is Simon Templar.
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Hello, Simon, I'm Wendy. Wendy Willikins Clever View to guess.
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I wasn't guessing. Oh, have you read any good books lately? Oh,
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darling, you're the first man in ten years to ask me that.
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Maybe, but I meant it. Well, the answer is no, And
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most of the men I meet haven't read any good books lately either. You
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see, the book I had in mind was The Birds and Bees of East
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Orange. Well, are there any difference from the birds and bees anyplace else?
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I wouldn't think so. Then, simon tell me about yourself. My
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biography is long and dull. I don't want a biography. I just want
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to know what you're doing here, trying to find out if you've read a
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book. No, you were expecting Biaber to be here, Therefore point guns
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at anybody who expects Baber to be here. Wendy, you should have stuck
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to your other weapons. That revolver doesn't frighten me. It should it would
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if someone else went already pointing a revolver at you. I don't believe,
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Peter. I don't like to see girls play with guns, even big girls.
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Drop it, Wendy, I shit, you needn't bother eying that gun,
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mister Templar I'll take it. Seems unfair. You already have one.
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I am unfair. I'll tell you a secret, mister Templar, I'm a
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nasty character. I believe you. Thanks, Wendy wears Bieber. I don't
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know I was waiting for him. You know you shouldn't have come to this
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hotel, neither should you? True enough. Nevertheless, mister Piper, have
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you read The Birds and Bees of East Orange recently? Don't try to startle
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me again, Temper. My finger might accidentally pull the trigger. And I
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wasn't testing your nerves. It was your reading mass. Wendy, what does
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he come in? I don't know. Would you like to try that again?
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I really don't know. You'd better not slap her again, Piper.
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Why not? Because then I'd have to take your revolver away. You wouldn't
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make it. Perhaps not, she'd make so much noise shooting me. I'd
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bleed and bleed and stay where you are and mind your own business. I'd
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prefer to, but I can't stand seeing women slapped. Probably a childhood fixation
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or something. You'll have to stand it, Wendy. I warned you,
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Piper. Another step, Temper, and you get it. Believe me.
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I don't want you. Who's that? I suffer from defective vision. I
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can't see through wooden doors, mister Temple, answer, yes, what is
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it? Pops are on the way coming up the stairs right now. Thank
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you? All right, this one Jewish templar. But there'll be another time.
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Mister Piper must have a fixation about policeman or something. I think I'll
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go out the back door to Simon the same fixation. No, but my
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mother warned me against men in uniforms. Goodbye, Simon. MM that's the
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temple and you can come in alleri what I'll bless your raucous little boys,
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Louis at work. There are any policemen really on the way, are they?
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No? No, only after what I've seen through the keyhole. It
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isn't polite to look through keyholes. Your complaining. No, but don't worry.
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I knew you wasn't alone with the bland. I've seen the little guy
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sneak in, mister Temple. Who is this, mister beebe you're looking for?
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Anyways? A constant reader of the birds and bees of East Orange,
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Ah. And the blond the same, and the little guy with the gun
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also a constant reader that book must have something, doubtedly, but what come
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on, Louise, Yeah, okay, book, mister Temple, did you
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read that book? No? No, May's copy was out, mister Temple,
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I will tell you something in Brooklyn, Yes, Louis, we didn't
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learn about the Birds and the Beast from a book. Eatht Oorings apparently is
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in Brooklyn. Louise, the storage must be awful dull, well, what
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old, mister Templar Holme Lorain. I'm expecting company a com on in Louis
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and hey, oh good evening. This is the company was expecting. Mister.
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It was a possibility. I'd considered who was it? He would be,
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mister Beeber, I should imagine he is. He's also got a gun?
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He has? Then the answer is, now you're quite wrong, quite
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sure. I've already searched your apartment. Hm, I'm sure you have.
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However, you may be a better hider than I am a finder. I'm
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a terrible hider. That might possibly be modesty, Not really, mister Bieler.
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If you'd stayed in your hotel room, you would have been spared the
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trip here. Indeed, yes, I've just returned from the hotel. What
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a pity of course your friends were there. Friend, yes, Wendy and
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Peter Piper London. I don't know one by either of those names. Oh
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my, however, I think i'll run along now if you don't mind.
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You're holding the gun, so I am to be sure and good evening,
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good evening, very polite type. Only a few points for the gun yet,
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Larry, I've got to stay here in case of further visits. But
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will you, mister Temple, I'm tired, I'm sleepy. My arch has
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just felt. I need a copy of the book The Birds and Bees of
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Eastings. Nobody needs a copy of a book like that. It's late.
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You may have trouble locating a copy, but if you can get hold of
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may Owen and may Owen, I'm on my way. But Louis, you're
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kind who says sleepy? Did Edison sleep your arches fell? I'll pick him
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up on my way out. So long, one thing, Louis, Yeah,
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one man's already been killed because of that book. Be careful, don't
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add another chapter to it. Come in, hello, Louis, Hello,
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Well did you yeah? We got the book? Yeah, may Owen went
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home to sleep. Hey, mister Template, you should hear the kind of
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language a bookseller uses when you wake him in the middle of the night to
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ask him about the bullets and the bees. Very educated language too, I'm
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sorry, full of synonyms of did you Did you have any visitors? No?
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No, you were going a couple of hours. I'm worried. Well,
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anyway, we got to copy that book here. Thank you, Louis.
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I could continue waiting, but but you ain't the patient type of no
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lowin. Yeah, well, no one's been shot for at least a couple
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of hours. I don't like murderers, Louis, that kill people. Yeah,
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I never thought of it like that before. Well, Hotel Oliver,
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good evening, mister Bieber, please one minute, thirst Thank you, I'll
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hold on. Bieber. But that's the guy was here, he said,
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No. Oh, he also will use very educated language on being waked up.
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Yeah, mister Bieber, this is Simon temper. Yes, I know
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it's late, but mister Bieber, I have a book lying on my table.
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The title of it is The Birds and Bees of East Orange. How
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did you get it? That isn't important. I just thought you'd be interested.
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I'll be right over wait for me, of course. Good bye.
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You bought him another copy, Louis, he's gone his way over here.
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Therefore, yeah, therefore, what therefore suppose we get started on our way?
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Oh sure, sure, on our way to wear his hotel. Well,
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it's a nice lobby, but mister Temple Bieber ain't gonna be in.
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Perhaps not, yes, sir, we'd like to see mister Bieber, please,
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mister Bieber. Mister Bieber is out you sure, yes, sir,
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I saw him go. Oh thank you. Come on, Louis, fine,
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you tell Bieber you got a book for him. He rushes to your
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apartment. But before he gets to you take the book. You go to
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his hotel to find out what you already knew. Yes, that's true,
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Louis, but I'm not supposed to understand. Larry, get in your cab.
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I'm gonna take a walk. Watch the got if something suddenly went wrong
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with the cab. No, but I want to see how many steps I
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can take before someone picks me up. Me in the book. Oh go
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on, Louis, Okay, but my inferiority complex is growing like anything.
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One, two, three, I'm six seven, Simon Darling. Eight steps?
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What but Wendy, you're not the one? U? Hi not what
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one the one I expected it. Huh, never mind, Louie, Louie.
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Let's have a cab, Simon Tebler, what do you mean by grabbing
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me, throwing me into a cab and then refusing to talk to me?
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Why are you watching outside the hotel? I wasn't and you still haven't explained,
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Wendy. I can't. Why not because because you're perfume is so strong,
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so oh, you're lying very well, and because I'm afraid that we're
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rushing towards death. Your door was opened, mister Temple. Yes, your
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apartment's very nice, Simon, thank you. But he isn't. Whoa,
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whoa, whoa. It's mister Bieber. He's branding at us, grinning.
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Not exactly, Wendy, mister Temple. He is shut and dead, very
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dead. Simon. We didn't do anything about mister Bieber. But what would
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you suggest artificial respiration? I mean, you didn't notify the police. Mister
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Bieber can wait? He has all eternity to wait in. Yeah, this
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I understand. But why are we going to the bookstore. I don't know.
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Let's say, to see if it's opener shut. Huh, I want
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to go. I don't want to go any place. Not quite yet,
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Wendy, I think it's time we cleared up a few things. I don't
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understand your part in this entire business. The business itself is about as subtle
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as the way you use perfume. Good luck, Wendy, You, Bieber
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and Piper were involved in something illegal, something that was regular and had continuity.
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The fact that the dead man in the bookstore, Dugan was a gambler
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indication I refused to listen to you. That the three of you were engaged
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in gambling a bedding rings, No answer. That's answer enough. Since your
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activities were illegal, and since the police have been actively engaged in breaking up
22:41
such rings, you had to take steps to avoid being seen together, suspected
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together, convicted together. You're making all this up. Yeah, you distrusted
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even the telephone, since phone wires have been tapped rather frequently of late.
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Therefore, one of you struck on the circulating library idea. Yeah, messages
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could be conveyed by means of a book agreed upon in advance, a book
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and a code. That book was The Birds and Bees of East Orange.
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You could be sure no one else would be especially interested in a book of
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that kind. Simon, Your yes, quite right. The messages dealt mainly
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with paofs m. Bieber had reserved the book, therefore he was innocent of
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Dugan's murder. Dugan, who had tumbled to the set up and thought of
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cutting himself in. Is that right? I guess, mister Temple book starts
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closed small, No one would be hiding there. Wendy, who brought in
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the book for Bieber to pick up. You are a piper. I want
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to touch you. Oh, don't be an idiot. I know the answer.
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It confirms your innocence. So far as Dugan's murder. God, well,
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I brought the book in In that case, you know where the money
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for the payoffice? Huh? Where? Well? We had several places,
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but this one's a rented room. Give Louis the addresser. Maybe we won't
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be late again, Maybe we won't find another corpse grinning at us. Simon,
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you don't think I killed anyone, do you? No, Wendy,
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Well, is it because of chivalry or something? No, I'll tell you
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about it some rainy night. Well, I'll keep in close touch with the
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weathermen. But Simon, paper's dead and souls Dugan. That leaves only Piper
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so why are you afraid of another murderer? There isn't anyone left to kill
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if you're getting mayl Or aren't you the girl who owns a books to her?
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Or? She had nothing to do. Only an idiot could have failed
24:55
to notice the fact that an obscure book was being regularly taken out by the
24:59
same three people they noticed. She must have put in a lot of study
25:03
on that book. You mean she figured out what it was all about?
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Temple? How good we come along with us? Snowy, it's upstairs,
25:25
two noisy steps. There's no use trying to keep pride. Perhaps it won't
25:29
be necessary. Simon may came to you. Why would she have done that?
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Dugan's corpse in your store was too hard to explain? Force to hand?
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Oh, I see it's a second door down some girl. I have
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a gun and I know how to use it too. Of course you do,
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But why bother? After all, surely we can come to an agreement
25:52
with you. I don't trust you, so you don't. I hope we're
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not intrude. Oh not at all, thank you, mister Templar. Girl
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was about to shoot me. I hate being shot messy. No doubt she
26:07
looks so innocent too. You know, I don't like girls who go around
26:11
murdering people. It gives us such a bad name, murdering people. Hey,
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look, she fainted. Keep away from her. She's faking. I'll
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take a look at her. And why do you do this? Chance,
26:22
meself? I, mister Temple, what's not You didn't like him, Piper?
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I prefer him unconscious. I don't like men who go around murdering people.
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Gives the human race such a bad name, Simon. Yes, Wendy,
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I know Piper killed Dugan and mister Bieber, but I don't know why
26:47
Piper decided to play monopoly, Wendy. He wanted all the money for himself.
26:52
Playing Monopoly is fun, but Piper added murder to it. You see,
26:56
he arrived at the bookstore out of turn in order to find out where
26:59
that payoff money was. Then he to grab it and disappear, But Dugan
27:03
was already there, so Piper killed him. But it might have been mister
27:07
Biber or me who killed Dugan. No, No, Dugan was unarmed,
27:11
and why did he have to be killed? Obviously only to shut his mouth
27:15
about what the fact that he's killered. Arrived at the bookstore out of turn.
27:19
Yeah, I understand that, except at that time you didn't know that
27:23
it couldn't have been me. Oh, but I did know, as I've
27:26
mentioned on several occasions, you use perfume liberally. Dugan's body was warm when
27:33
I found him, but there were no traces of perfume in the air.
27:37
There would have been had you been in the store that recently. Mm hmm,
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Simon, you know it's very cold in this room. Oh, I'm
27:47
sorry. We must wait for the police. M Louis must have found a
27:51
phone by now. But until they get here, Wendy, the uh perfume
27:57
you use? It's taboo? Who isn't it? Who? Who? You
28:02
like it? He is very much? But do you know what taboo means?
28:07
What? Simon? Among savages? It means out of bounds? Do
28:11
not touch all? Simon, who's a savage? You have been listening to
28:29
another transcribed adventure of the Saint, the robin Hood of modern crime. Now
28:33
here is our starve and some price, Ladies and gentlemen. Portrait of an
28:37
American picture of the research scientists dedicated to the destruction of disease. Today,
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a handful of such specialists have launched a campaign in their laboratory battlefields against the
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vicious crippler's arthritis and rheumatism. The organization known as Arthritis is moving against these
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diseases which have caused such pain in the lives of seven and a half million
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people. Uppermost in the minds of the men behind this organization are these facts.
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No one is free from the threat of arthritis and rheumatism, and as
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yet scientists have found no specific cure for them. Now the non profit organization
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Arthritis has taken the field. The fight against arthritis and rheumatism is on the
29:22
fight for the health and well being of us. All. This is Vincent
29:26
Price inviting you to join us again next week at this same time for another
29:30
exciting adventure of the Saint. Good Night. This Adventure of the Saint was
29:57
written by Lewis Viddies. Cast you heard g. G. Pearson as Wendy
30:02
and Betty Moran as may Ted Osborne was mister Bieber, Harry Brown a hotel
30:07
clerk, Bonnie Phillips was Peter, and Edmund MacDonald Lieutenant Manelli Louis is played
30:11
by Larry Dobkin. The Saint based on characters created by Leslie Chatteris is a
30:18
James L. Safier production. Vincent Price is soon to be seen co starring
30:21
in r Kao's production of His Kind of Woman. All you Saint fans will
30:26
be glad to know that the Saint comic books are on sale at all news
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stands. Three chimes mean good Times. On NBC, there's fun and adventure
30:36
for you in your big n b C Sunday evening line up. For fun,
30:40
it's the Phil Harris Alice Fay Show with friend Frankie, Brother Willie,
30:44
and Charming Julius. For adventure, Joel mc crae stars in another story of
30:48
the modern day wild West when he portrays Ranger J. S. Pearson in
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Tales of the Texas Rangers. I'll stay tuned for Phil Reagan's Camp Show next
30:57
on NBC. This is Andrew J. Graham, author of the web surface
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series Oh and a Man of His Wife. You're listening to the Great Detectives
31:17
of Old Time Radio. Welcome Back. Well. A very interesting case and
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one of those clever plans that turned out not to be so clever after all,
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as the criminals didn't take into account that somebody would notice. Also,
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I like the idea Simon being able to deduce innocence because of a lack of
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perfume. It's kind of a unique take. Now, of course, it's
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possible that she took a shower didn't put on perfume knowing that, but he
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made the safe bet there that that wasn't the case. All right. We
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turn to some listener comments and feedback, and we start with Brian, who
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says, I hate to admit this, but the scene is my favorite show.
32:08
I look forward to it more than Johnny Dollar. Never thought I would
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enjoy anything more than Johnny or let George do it well. Thanks so much
32:19
for the comment, Brian, and glad you're enjoying the Saint, and I
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definitely like I like that we can introduce people to shows that they may enjoy
32:30
as much as their favorites, if not more so. I do welcome everybody
32:37
who listens to the show, even if they just listen to one series.
32:42
But I do think that you miss something if you just say subscribe to your
32:47
favorite series and that's the only thing you listen to. That's part of why
32:52
I try to mention the week beforehand anytime we're going to be adding a new
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series, because I think that people should You should at least try out the
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first episode of a series and see if it's going to be any good and
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if you're going to enjoy it, because otherwise you might be missing out.
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But any rate, thanks so much to everybody listening. We will be back
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tomorrow with the adventures of Ellerie Queen, and join us back here next Monday
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for another episode of The Saint. In the meantime, send your comments to
33:27
Box thirteen at Great Detectives dot net, follow us on Twitter at Radio Detectives,
33:34
and become one of our friends on Facebook, Facebook dot com. Slash
33:38
Radio Detectives from Boise, Idaho. This is your host, Adam Grahamson and off