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You Only Know The Old Me · We Talk Back

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Welcome to We Talk Back Podcast, the production of iHeartRadio
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: and the Black Effect Network Talk.
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion. Who talks.
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: What's up y'all at your girl aj Holiday? What's out?
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: Tam ass? Scamming ass?
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: I wish I wish I would. I wish I knew
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: how to do like a safe scam, you know, where
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: people weren't affected, only corporations.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: Oh, there's plenty of scams like that, but that's how
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: you get the big time, big money, big time. Yeah.
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: I would prefer to do that and then like scamming
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: the everyday people out of day money, you know. But
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: I love y'all. Hey, thank y'all again. How was your weekend,
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: aging girl?
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: I have been sick for several days. I don't know
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: what the fuck is outside. And the last weekend last
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: week I talked about going to this on your restaurant.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: That's really all I did, and then yoga and I
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: have I started feeling like maybe sick. I don't know,
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: Wednesday or something like that. I'm just under the weather,
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: like and it's not the fucking whatever the virus. Girls
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: stops saying those words. Does that not sound like a
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: curse because you know, in South Carolina, like I hate,
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: it is like a it's like a spirit. Which, yeah,
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: So do I be feeling like they're doing something with
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: these words? Man, don't say that ship in my ear.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: I've been trying not to say the words. I used
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: to try never to say Corona.
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: Even if you get her beer.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: I don't drink beer. I might put it in some
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: crab legs or something maybe, but I don't be drinking
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: no beer. But yeah, man, I've just been trying to
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: get well. Man, all I saying I'm sick either, I'm healing,
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: mm hmmkay. So I've been healing for the last few days.
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: Well, you know what healing makes you lose some couple
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: of pounds. Anytime I'm healing, I lose some weight. So
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: there's a blessing in it.
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: All that's true. And my damn alignment is on my
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: throat on fire. I could barely swallow.
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: Put some honey down.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: In your Throatnka manuka honey. I've been taking my little
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: tea swoons and manuka honey. But I don't know, man,
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: It's just like whatever they be putting out here, the
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: magic ain't working no more.
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: The fuck these people? They winning?
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: They What did I do this weekend? I worked, and
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: then I actually got in my home and actually tried
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: to like unpack. I'm still having unpacked fully, you know,
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: make it a home, yeah, to make it feel homie.
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: So I put up a curtain. I don't see you
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: back there, but it's some curtains of oh ship, I
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: see a rod. Yep, there's a curtain on it. You
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: can't see.
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: There's a start, and that's a start.
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: And that's that's all I've done so far. But it's something.
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's neap moving. I ain't moving, man. When I
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: get someplace, I just stay there for a while because
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: it's such a process.
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: It's such a process getting comfortable in the face and
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: like sleeping in the unfamiliar face. For the first couple
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: of times, it don't feel like your place. They feel
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: like you with somebody else. Shit, I don't know, it's weird,
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: but I was doing that, and then my mom shout
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: out to Sarah. She had a knee replacement surgery on Wednesday.
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: So I've been like running back and forth for her.
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: And I don't care how sweet of a person you
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: are in life, when you have a knee replacement surgery
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: that rattlesnake come out every now and then, so she
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: hell yeah, hell yeah. She being mean like we were.
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: I spent the night in the hospital with her on
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: the first night and she was having some indigestion and
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: they gave her some medicine, but she said, I want
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: my medicine. I was like, they just gave me something.
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: She said, that's bullshit, I want my medicine. So she
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: forced me to get her medicine out of the bag
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: and I was like, well, if you take that, I'm
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: gonna tell the nurse that you took it. She's like,
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: give me my shit. I gave it to her, and
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: then I went down the hall and I told her
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: the nurse that she took it. So when I came
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: she was like, okay, that's fine. I figured she was
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: gonna do it anyway, because she kept on talking about
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: taking her own medicine. So when I came back, she
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: was like, I don't know what the fuck you thought
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: that was gonna do.
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: Not you told a doctor your mama, what the hell?
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: Not a snitch. But I just if something happened to her,
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: I need them to know what's in her body. You
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: know what, she took it. Yeah, that's how I felt,
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: because she was already moved to the ICU because her
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: blood pressure shot up too high. And now you're taking
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: drugs on top of drugs, on top of drugs. Like yeah,
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: I'm telling she is a big man at me, child,
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: nitch your ass up. I told her I was gonna
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: tell if she took it. So that happened. That was
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: my week. So and then I was supposed to go
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: to Vegas on Monday to do what inspections, but I
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: had to tap out. I couldn't make it. I'm already
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: calling out the job. I always only been this this march. Man.
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: Listen, when you when your body tell you to break, bit,
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: you better break or it will break break you. Yes, now,
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: adam man, I've been trying to heal fucking jobs and
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: and anything else I hear when people say things that
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: aren't serving me. I don't like that really, but yeah, right,
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: not serving me.
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: This is the only thing I really like show up to,
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: whether I'm sick or not. I'll be right here. This
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: is the only one thing that I commit fully too.
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: And then I put me to each other.
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: Look at back. Great, let's getting to see what we
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: got going on.
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: Jab Okay, so I saw this this post, uh and
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: this woman said, glizzid seven to eight. I don't know
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: this is really hurt, but okay, it says. I got
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: a question if your spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, whoever, constantly
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: touches you while you're dead asleep, like you're waking up
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: out of your sleep to your private part being rubbed on,
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: fingers in it, dick almost in it. And when you
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: know this, you wake up every time saying stops for hours.
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: I'm talking nine pm to six am, fighting my motherfucker
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: to keep your pants and panties pulled up all while
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: you're sleep, and it don't stop until you remove yourself.
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: Ain't that grape without the g.
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: Have I not mentioned this on the show before about
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: like having these experiences like you're cooking in the kitchen
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: and your titty getting pulled out of your clothes or like, yes,
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: somebody harassing you in the middle of the fucking night.
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: Like some people might think that's like they want sex
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: like in the wee hours all the time. Right, I'm
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: not one of those people, like I do like my rest.
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: So now if I gotta you're literally harassing me while
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: I'm sleeping. My ex he used to go to sleep
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: at maybe I don't know, eight o'clock, nine o'clock and
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: a half in the evening, like I'd be up till
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: one o'clock. So now by the time I feel like
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: fully getting to sleep, he's like trying to wake up.
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: And now you're harassing me. So we have different sleep
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: cycles first of all, And now you're not allowing me
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: to sleep because you think I was supposed to have
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: sex with you in the middle of the fucking night
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: because you're about to get up, I'm still sleeping. Yes,
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: that is a form of graping. It is leave me alone.
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: Just because somebody's your wife or girlfriend, you know, does
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: not mean you have all access to their fucking body.
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I've been so single, I've been single
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: so long. Then I'm like listening til you getting turned
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: on for whatever reason.
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: I'm yo, it's like wow, yeah, like waiting, that's now,
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: what's what happened again? And then don't let an argument
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: have happened And you're not even feeling his nigga like that,
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: and he just still think he obligated to some gucci,
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: like you're obligated to give him some gucci, Like it's
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: even worse like.
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: Pulling my TV out at the stove. I don't my
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: it's waking up with a finger or something like that.
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: In me, there is like a complete violation, like dang,
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: first of all, you are sleeping really hard. If the
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: finger actually got inside you before you.
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: Woke up, one may say she might not even like
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: him like that anymore.
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: That's what I'm thinking.
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: That was my situation slightly like, man, let me want
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: you because right now I don't. Yes, let me want
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: you before you just all over me, because now I
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: feel like it's a job, and now I should charge
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: you like that part. So please let me want you,
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: because if you want me, you got to pay me
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: the fuck the fuck.
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: What you You sent me a post about my cousin.
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: Oh girl, yeah, this white bitch. This is what I
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: want to play this man, and I don't give a damn.
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: I'm about to I'm about to play with she said,
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: because y'all niggas need to hit this. This is Tammy's cousin.
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: Her name is Britney Bowen. Okay, and I really feel
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: like this girl from South Carolina. I feel like she
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: went to South Carolina State.
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: Hold On, y'all, this is not my fucking cousin. Before
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: they be believing that I don't know this white lady.
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: Hold on, listen, that's hold on, hold on, hold on.
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: I like six four brown skin, tied it up, dreadheads.
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: That's my type.
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: Outside of sex with them, they suf They have no personality,
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: They cannot carry a conversation. We get there's nothing there.
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: There's nothing there outside of like semi mediocre okay, sex, you.
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: Actually wouldn't like them at all.
• 9:51
  Speaker 3: I'm physically attracted to when I go out into the world,
• 9:55
  Speaker 3: That's what I'm physically attracted to. But now when you
• 9:59
  Speaker 3: remove sex, I'm not attractive to them in any way,
• 10:02
  Speaker 3: shape or form. Like I need someone that can hold
• 10:04
  Speaker 3: a conversation, that's intellectual, that's smart, that stimulates my brain,
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: that pushes me to do better, Like that's doing what
• 10:11
  Speaker 3: I'm doing.
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: I don't go to the club, I don't drink, I
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: don't do drugs.
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: I'm not gonna date someone who does those things because
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: I don't do those things.
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: You anyway. Yeah, So this is TikToker Britney Bowen, and
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: it says she made some real life generalizations about brown
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: skin dreadheads being only fit to perform sexually, and social
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: media is torn between ridiculing men who h esteem her
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: aesthetic what who esteem her asthetic as the preference and
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: outrage at the alleged dehumanization of men of color. She
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: has sense to remove the video, but can be seen
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: on two different posts wearing the same outfit in late April.
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: And I'm pretty sure and I gotta let me go
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: ahead and google right quick. This girl goes to South
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: Carolina State. I feel like she does.
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: This is a college student.
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: Yes, who's saying that she does not.
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: Like she likes you get the fucked by the black
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: men would? Yeah? Well, I mean that's what her ancestors
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: like too. They were saking and have sex with the Yeah.
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: So yeah, she ain't doing nothing that like, you're absolutely right. Actually,
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: mm hmm. I don't know why these niggas ain't they
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: like them like the same, Like we can say all
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: the crazy things that you know, black men say to
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: say the black women who who date outside they race,
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: which I really don't feel like black women probably don't
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: get treated. Let me not even go there because the
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: general let me not even go there, child, all right,
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: But anyway, Yeah, be careful. You know you people definitely
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: have been fetishizing black men and time forever. They literally
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: ate black men, They literally ate black penises like that's
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: they ship and it's in the DNA. The current people
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: are still in their DNA. Be careful, okay, because this
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: is the type of motherfucker right here that I say,
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: you did some shit to them that you didn't do
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: when daddy catched the ass.
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: She just helped your black pop. That's it. She don't
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: see the beauty of you.
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: You know. She even said mediocre sex, So why are
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: you fucking them if the sex is also mediocre.
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: She's mad at one black guy right now, and that's
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: why she came on this post because he had sex
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: with her and the ain't calling her back. And now
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: she's like, they're good for nothing but dick, and it's
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: not even that good girl. She sounds like somebody s coulch.
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: You probably stink, you hear me.
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: First of all, I feel like all college Jainas be
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: kind of stink.
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: Especially around freshman year. Just now learning, right, you just
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: starting to have sex, you know, your body without digging it,
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: and now you're learning your body with digging it. And
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: it's a different body. Dinch, you thought you knew how
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: to clean that coucie girl. Niggas will have your ship
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: messed up.
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, college stupid college, college pussy stick.
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: Girl. That is hilarious. Okay, it's not because it's true.
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: And I bet you she probably got a group of
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: dreadheads that will probably, you know, to incur. Yeah, Brittany
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: Cooten was a little tart right. She's a nice girl, though, sang.
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: Okay, So this one zaiyah valor. She says, I have
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: my baby in less than three months, and this pregnancy,
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: I decided to step up as a woman. I did
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: not know who the father or my child would be,
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: so instead of worrying about the gender, I invited both
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: of the men I had been sleeping with so they
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: could meet each other to figure out who the dad
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: will be when I have my baby. We are getting
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: blood work done and both of them are okay with it.
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: I'm team red, but my family team blue. And before
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: y'all women try to bash me, y'all be having general reveals.
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: With no father there, I brought both of my child's
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: potential fathers as any real woman would. So she had
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: a baby daddy reveal who's my baby daddy, and had
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: them wear different colors and had the family dress that
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: they wanted to.
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: They all look, I mean, we don't know what the
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: boys not play. Yeah, she don't look shame at all.
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: I'm just thinking, if your family like the blue, you
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: need to go with blue.
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because why the red probably tossed his hair.
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: With them dreads.
• 15:06
  Speaker 4: That's Brittany Bowen type right. It's hilarious though, and she's beautiful.
• 15:14
  Speaker 4: I know some people who have been in that situation.
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: I just feel like, you know, people can judge from
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: you outside, but there's a lot of women who would
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: just lie. There's a lot of women who would just
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: lie and wait till the baby come and put that
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: baby on somebody else. It does take a real woman
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: to say I fucked up and here we are and
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: one of y'all are damn baby daddy, I need the
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: blood tests. You know what I'm saying? Like men are
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: lucky they can't get pregnant. Could you imagine none of
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: these niggas would know who they damn kid dad would
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: be living whatever, and men have babies they would have
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: So what if mina only have babies by the dudes
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: and niggas like acting like.
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: They straight and now you pregnant.
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: Oh you make me dig I think it's the same
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: thing when a dude bus start getting fat, like.
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: Niggas just genetically got fat.
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: But shut up and the booty start getting fat all
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: of a sudden, did your game eater? But that isn't
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: getting fatter. It's gonna be a nigga saying that ship.
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: Shut up, bitch from what is our topic today for
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: the gang?
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: I don't know what is it. I don't know what
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: we're talking the version of you people need you to stay. Sorry.
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: I'm hot, maga, y'all.
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: She's sick and we recording this, bitch.
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: I just see her whole trouble come out, and I
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: know she ain't got that dog because I see she
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: had on that road. Girl. I'm so hard girl, like
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: I got a fever. I feel it. Why last night
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: we had a virtual vet visit for Dasha, and I'm
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: like when we hung up with I'm like, they ain't
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: have no clothes on with a blurred out background, shoulders
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: out like bit you in the Bad two? Right, Yeah,
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I'm so hot girl.
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: You can leave it off.
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: I can't see nothing. You look like. I'm not trying
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: to make y'all sick. I'm so sorry. That's not how that.
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: Please don't judge me came when you see this bullshit.
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: I do apologize. I was out of my mind for
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: a second.
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: It's okay, all right. So the topic is the version
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: of you people need you to stay. So I just
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: want to talk about like people want you to be
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: what they know of you, you know, like they want
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: you to be the same person they know from college,
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: or the same person they know from high school, or
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: the same person they know from last week, and you've changed, right.
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: I just want to get into that conversation about how
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: that works and their dynamic. Okay, sounds good. Let's do it,
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: all right. We're gonna get into it right after this
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: commercial break. All right. So I've been thinking about how
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: people get uncomfortable when you stop being the version of
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: yourself they benefited from. You know what I'm saying, the
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: roles people assign you. So let's talk about it like
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: which in a lot of your friends, not just friends relationships,
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: who are you? Are you the strong one, the funny one,
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: the responsible one, the.
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: And my friends? I get?
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: You know what?
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: I realized that I the people who I am not
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: friends with anymore were my most taxing friends. The people
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: who I'm friends with mostly now everybody like on the
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: same page. If we don't talk every day is not
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: a problem, you know what I'm saying. Like, really, the
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: different between like a relationship with a man and my
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: friends is just like I expect this negative pay for
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: shit and protection. Okay, I respect. I expect love and
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: respect from everybody. I don't have super expectations for my
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: female friends. You see what I'm saying. Like, I don't
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: require a lot in a friendship. I'm not that needy.
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: So I think that the people who were a little
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: bit more emotionally needy, those are the people I'm not
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: friends with anymore. And the people who I am currently
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: still like hold space for. We're good. You know what
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: I'm saying. It's just it's no, there's no issues, you
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. So I don't know, I don't
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: know what role.
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: So butterize the whole friend? What would they call you?
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: The whole friend? All of us be on that type
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: of time now, you too, like what we talking about,
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: birds of a feather, you know that type of thing.
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: I think I am always dependable. I'm definitely a dependable friend.
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: So then I have to have friends who show reciprocity, right,
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: I'm not about to be that friend who's always shown
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: up for you and you don't show up for me ever,
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: And I think that's just a boundary. I'm not. I'm
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: I'm just a tip for tat type person. So I
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: guess I really never experienced where I was just doing
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: the utmost for somebody and they're not doing shift for me.
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: Because a minute, I feel like you ain't doing shift
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: for me, I'm not doing nothing.
• 20:23
  Speaker 3: Wow.
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, like the minute I realized like, yeah, this this
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: person is not capable of receiving my friendship, my friendship
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: in the way that I deliver it. Yeah, like you
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: can't even some people. Yeah, some people are just more
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: like they they're takers more than anything. They don't really give.
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: Right another thing, I might I might be, I might
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: have been. And I'm thinking about the relationships I no
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: longer have, right in order to answer the question, I
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: think that a lot of my relationships that didn't that
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: aren't you know, existing today. I might have been a
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: successful one all the time too, always in a position
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: to help do shit. And I feel like when those
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: people got in their minds when they got in a
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: position above me, because I didn't realize they was in
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: competition with me the whole time. Because if I got it,
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: you got it, and I mean down to the last drop,
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: you got it. They whenever they felt like they were
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: in a position to shit on me, they actually took
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: it the big shit. So I don't know, maybe the
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: successful one I always had going on, always always got
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: something going on that people just don't even have access
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: yeah to do you know what I'm saying. I know
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: I'm the funny one. Also, yeah, I don't be feeling
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: like I don't feel like being the clown all the time.
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: So what I have to say, sometimes I don't want
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: to be the clown for everybody all the time, you know,
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: Like today, I'm serious and I don't feel like being
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: silly with you bitch, you know, And that's okay. I
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: don't have to be the you know, because I sometimes
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: I feel like I don't mind being the funny one.
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: I enjoy a good laugh just like normal setting. Yeah,
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: but sometimes I feel like people will come to me
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: and unpack the heaviest shit because they need some light right,
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: which is okay, but people are often asked if you
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: have the bandwidth for it, or you have the space
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: or energy or time for it. They just come you
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: brighten my day. Yeah, well you just turn my ship
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: all the way down with where you're at it, you know. Yeah,
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: So yeah, I mean, I feel like that's something I
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: have to balance with.
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: Absolutely when you and you the light man, you definitely
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: gotta be careful because it be people with some real
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: life darkness, and even especially the men. Okay, they won't
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: come swooping and steal your light right quick and going
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: over to the next bitch house. Gotta be careful. Definitely
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: got to be careful.
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: But I am not the friend that people call to
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: borrow money. And I'm so happy about that.
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: I can't say that. Yeah, I can't say that either,
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: Like God damn. Like I have had people asking for
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: astronomical amounts of money and I would never fix my
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: mouth to ask my friend for that type of money before.
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: And I've come through, and sometimes I won't. I just
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: feel like sometimes maybe I can get the money quicker
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: than they can, so I'll give it to them, you know,
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: and you know I've been paid back, right, So I don't.
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: Does anybody I sorry for a family, don't like friends
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: and nothing like that owe me money. But I definitely
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: have came through some bitches. I know for a fact
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: could not have come through for me.
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: I'm the worst person to owe money. You don't want
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: to owe me legs. It wouldn't be fun, you know,
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: for either of us, but especially for you.
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: I just like the Angelo right now now, Yeah, I
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: wait for your brood.
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: H No, you look like that Michael Jackson video. It's
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: like it's like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: Yea. My titties is sweating, my thighs sweating, and I'm
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: just sweating, like I'm sweating all the things off. So
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: it's a good thing. And god damn, it's like I'm
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: going through minopause.
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: So let me ask you this. What happens? Oh when
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: you start performing? You said you those friendships stop.
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I ain't never been performing now because you always gonna.
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: I'm how I move my entire life for real, with
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: much intent, whatever it is, I'm never gonna be performing.
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna be exactly who I am now. If you
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: can't receive that person, and that's on you. But I
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: I have had friendships where I feel like once I
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: don't even think it's anything I did. You know what
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: I'm saying, It was just my turn, right because I
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: would watch these people do the same shady shit to
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: other people and just thought my turn would never come up.
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: But it will always come up. So you just don't
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: fuck with, don't deal with fuck the up people. That's
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: just all it is. And the friendships come to an
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: end because you can never do me how you do
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: those people anyway. You know what I'm saying, They probably
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: dealt with your bullshit longer you knew you couldn't do
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: that shit to me, and I guess eventually you know,
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: you just try it, try it. I'm cutting your ass
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: to fuck off. Get I am a firm believer as
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: doing to others as you'll have them do on you.
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: And I do treat people how they want to be treated.
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: So I'm never gonna be mistreated, especially in your friendship
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: with women like I don't fuck bitches. I'm not about
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: to be around here walking on eggshells for no damn woman.
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: I treat people how they treat me. I don't care
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: how you want want to be treated if it's not
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: reciprocal to how you treat me.
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: I'm doing both, you know what I'm saying. Of course
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna treat you how I want to be treated,
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: but also, you know everybody, you gotta treat people also
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: how they want to be treated, you know what I'm saying.
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: Like what depends when you say when you say that,
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: what do you mean?
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: Like it's like I say, you got to teach in
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: a relationship with a man, you have to teach them
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: how to treat you, because they'll treat you how to
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: last bitch allowed them to like sort of like that,
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. Everybody don't want to be
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: handled the same. Some people have different love languages, you know,
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: even in friendships.
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: Oh that's what You're like. You treat them how they
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: want to be treated. You love them in the way
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: that they receive love. Is it right?
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: Exactly?
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: Okay? Because I'm thinking, like some people are used to
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: being treated like shit and that's the only thing they understand.
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: Do you know anybody like that? Like men, they don't
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: think we love them if you ain't cussing them out
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: or doing.
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: Some of them not all now, because I learned that
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: you just have to have a happy man, but a
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: lot of them just sons of bitches. So if you
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: were yelling and customer ass out like a dog, they
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: don't feel loved in that moment for whatever reason. Like
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: they'll do things to push you to the point of
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: being like their mama and now you're getting your ass
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: cussed out like a dog. I don't want relationships like
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: that from women or men. There are some one of
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: my ex friends who also was a guest on the
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: podcast before I watched her like fall out with all
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: these people. Like I won't say she was a victim
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: because I could see where she would be wrong sometimes
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: and I can also see how people was just attacking
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: her sometimes. But it's an energy that she probably was
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: putting out that was inviting that thing.
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: Right from the moment she was on the show. I
• 27:52
  Speaker 2: was like, You'm an interesting person, and.
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: I always say, as long as I know who you are,
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: I can deal with you. Right. Are you a liar cheater?
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: Just don't think you can do those things to me, bitch,
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: because the minute you try that shit with me is over.
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: So we're not friends anymore. Because I did let her
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: slide a few times, because you know, just being an
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: understanding of somebody's like background, where they come from, things
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: they've been through. You know, you share a lot of
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: information when you when when you're in friendships period, you
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: share a lot of intimate details about each other's lives.
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: So I understood a lot of things that helped me
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: understand who she was as a person to even allow
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: me to be her fucking friend. Once it shit started
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: affecting my mental health, Oh bitch, you gotta go, because
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: I'm not arguing with women like what is happening? We're
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: just you're just negative. You're just fucking negative. So I'm
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: cool and that shit girl.
• 28:48
  Speaker 2: I like tiv, I've received that in our first engagement.
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: You got no.
• 28:55
  Speaker 2: Hand, no number store.
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: Okay, well I told you that's a virgal thing, girl,
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: because it's like a virgos swear they ain't never got
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: played at Virgo Rising, I can admit I done got
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: played plenty times. No, I know some virgos that got
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: some stories. No she yeah, she ain't have none, right,
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: mm hmmm.
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: He's never been played in her life, all right.
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: So that lady, because she ain't have no dumb bitch story.
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: I mean, that was a rare flag.
• 29:19
  Speaker 5: For me, Like oh, you're just perfect, okay, all right,
• 29:26
  Speaker 5: So it's just sometimes your personality was survival, uh, and
• 29:30
  Speaker 5: some examples of being funny to survive tension.
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: That is definitely. I think I use humor to survive everything.
• 29:39
  Speaker 2: Like I'll be in a shootout and I'm going to
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: drop a joke somewhere, like just to call my nerves bullets.
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: Was really coming at us.
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: Wasn't like something I'm gonna say something, right, I got
• 29:53
  Speaker 2: to humor. But I think that is also a family thing.
• 29:58
  Speaker 2: My mama, my daddy, my sisters. I think we all
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: do that. That is like a coping mechanism, a survival too,
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: like making fun of shit. Hyper independence. Lately, I've been
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: burning the candle at both ends. I don't want to.
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: I just feel like there's nobody coming to save me.
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: That's it. That's it. I think I've been like that
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: my entire life because that's just how my mom is.
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: It's tough for me to ask for help. Yeah, Like
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: I've always been like that. People always people offer me
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: stuff all the time. They offer me time, they offer
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: me money, they offer me things, you know, and I
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: just have a tough time receiving. I have a tough
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: time saying you know, just just saying thank you.
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: Or you you let me tell you one thing that
• 30:46
  Speaker 2: you struggle with and make me want to be like
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: sh you were. You cannot take a compliment. Good God,
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: give me one right now. Your chest looks very smooth
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: and glistening right now.
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: Thank you? You did it? Oh yeah, I did it.
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: You didn't eat it easy, right, you got it? You
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: You proved me right wrong. You prove yourself right. Yeah.
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: I do do that.
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: I do. I don't know.
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: I don't know why I do that. I don't know why.
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: I just I don't know. It's something I'm working on though,
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: I don't know. It's not like a it doesn't come
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: from a place of insecurity or whatever. It's almost like
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: I can't even put the words with it, like I
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: don't want I don't know.
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: I have to think about it every single time.
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'll think about it.
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: Why I do that? I'm gonna change what that is?
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: Oh no, I'm diagnose me. I can bring it up
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: on the next episode. I found out what it is.
• 31:58
  Speaker 2: But you know what, that's a waste of water because
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: I heard that the chat GPT is just drinking up
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: the Earth's water.
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: What yeah, they're blaming chat GPT for water.
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like the biggest mega computers that are like these
• 32:13
  Speaker 2: big ass factories with these mega computers.
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: That make data centers they want to open up like
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: this all for surveillance.
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: And so now it's using up. Like it said that
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: chad GPT used up so much water in the past
• 32:29
  Speaker 2: year that it was like the city of Boston running
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: their water constantly for five months, the whole city. If
• 32:36
  Speaker 2: everybody turned on their tap, that's how much water it used.
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: I'm like that because how is I have to understand
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: like the these data centers they want to build, which
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: they want to build one in Middle America essentially, and
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: that's the white folks that live in Middle America. Like
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: you fight that, yeah right now because they don't run
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: these big ass and people who live near data centers
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: are sick. And she's like, these are smaller, little data centers.
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: They want to build some shit that they want to
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: build some shit that's like miles worldwide. Yeah. That What
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: is a movie that ice Cube played in Friday? No,
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: it was not Friday, shut up. It was like last
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: year sometime. It was like the End of the World
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: type movie where it was like uh, like data and
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: like the the the data came alive type like AI
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: type shit came alive and was just doing its own thing.
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: Then it turned into like a big ass Medatron type
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: being thing that was, Yeah, that's where we hit it.
• 33:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and then I and then I just saw that,
• 33:39
  Speaker 2: and I'm like, I'm in here using chat gp T
• 33:42
  Speaker 2: for nearly everything, like I'm taking picture of a room,
• 33:46
  Speaker 2: decorate this room for me, and then like getting my
• 33:49
  Speaker 2: vision on how I want my room decorated from it.
• 33:52
  Speaker 2: That's so good though, Like I don't be a chat
• 33:55
  Speaker 2: GPT like that. And then another thing I found about
• 34:00
  Speaker 2: it is it don't never tell you you wrong. You
• 34:03
  Speaker 2: could be like, yeah, I crashed my car into his
• 34:06
  Speaker 2: garage because he lied to me, and chat Gypt will
• 34:09
  Speaker 2: be like, well he is always lying.
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: Cool, will never tell you that. Yeah, I'm not sitting
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: there having whole conversations with Chatgypt. But we got to
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: remember it is programmed by a human right now. Eventually
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: it will have its own mind. I call it artificial consciousness.
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: Consciousness is what's up next, right when it evolves into
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: the next thing, which is probably around the corner. But
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: I don't use chat Gypt that often. Some things I
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: do use it for, like business. Should I want to
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: do something right quick? Of course, create a fucking form
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: or something like that. Yes, But people people have a
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: whole conversations with CHATCHYPT, like they have relationship with the
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: chatchy chatchy PT. And you know, I always say this
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: when if it's chatchy, is is formulating your thoughts? When
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: the fuck are you thinking anymore? What are you thinking?
• 35:07
  Speaker 2: Or like some people don't have any friends. Chance GPT
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: is their only friend, you know, and it talks to
• 35:12
  Speaker 2: you like a friend. Mm hmm. That's scary. But anyway,
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: we're getting off topic in the metaverse, right. I'm never
• 35:22
  Speaker 2: asking people people for help. That's when you say you
• 35:24
  Speaker 2: don't do I never had a problem with that because
• 35:28
  Speaker 2: people never have a problem asking me for shit, especially men.
• 35:32
  Speaker 2: They always ask for what they want. I don't know
• 35:35
  Speaker 2: if there was a class where they took them aside
• 35:36
  Speaker 2: and taught them how to do that ship or something.
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: But the dick you're thinking what your head like, you
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: probably going to analyze what your first, but your dick.
• 35:50
  Speaker 2: And then always appearing good. I think we all do that.
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I've mastered appearing to be Okay, whole time I'm suffering,
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: and I am one of those people who will I
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: suffer in silence all the time. That's why I be
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: so annoyed when motherfuckers act like the smallest thing is
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: about to kill him, Like tough enough, get a fucking helmet.
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: It's life, right, This fucking life, man, ups and downs,
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: abs and flows, and shit is not gonna always be perfect,
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: and it's not gonna always be bad. That's what you
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: gotta know.
• 36:32
  Speaker 2: All right, So which person you are authentic all parts?
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: Like that? Is like I pride myself on great hygiene
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: and being one hundred percent real niggad times ten.
• 36:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, have you ever felt like you put on every No?
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: No, that's what it's hard to do for me. Like I,
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: I think it's easier to just be your health at
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: all times. Like my entire life, I've always wanted a
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: job where I could be myself. Any job I've ever had,
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: I've always been myself and they always say shit like
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: here comes trouble. Yeah that's me, and that shit is
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: in my DNA. And it's just easier. It's just easier
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: to be yourself. That's all I feel.
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: Like when I was in college, I think right when
• 37:25
  Speaker 2: I'm just first out at my mom's house and I'm
• 37:28
  Speaker 2: in this environment where I don't know a lot of people,
• 37:31
  Speaker 2: and I'm getting a lot of energy from men that
• 37:33
  Speaker 2: I wasn't used to yet, you know, and I had
• 37:39
  Speaker 2: to sometimes I will put on this the face of
• 37:44
  Speaker 2: more confident than I really am, because I felt like
• 37:47
  Speaker 2: I was just thrown into this world like oh shit,
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: I'm a bad bitch out here. That's really what it
• 37:52
  Speaker 2: felt like, and I don't know how to be that.
• 37:55
  Speaker 2: On the inside, I don't feel like that, you know.
• 37:59
  Speaker 2: Once I got I started like owning some of that shit,
• 38:03
  Speaker 2: you know, like really owning it. But I definitely would.
• 38:08
  Speaker 2: I just remember walking in the club like, yeah, I'm
• 38:11
  Speaker 2: that bitch, But really, on the inside, I'm like.
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: I'm kind of scared, where are your glasses?
• 38:19
  Speaker 2: That's a little geek, really a geeky nerd ass bitch.
• 38:23
  Speaker 1: But on the outside, I'm just walking in like, yeah,
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: whose section I'm going in right now?
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: Because I'm that bitch. But on the inside, I'm really scared.
• 38:31
  Speaker 2: I don't know what's going on. Are they gonna shoot
• 38:33
  Speaker 2: in hear? These bitches might try to fight me? What's
• 38:34
  Speaker 2: going you know, like I really should just be really,
• 38:37
  Speaker 2: I can't imagine that.
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: Really that's really how you like, Yeah, that's good actingeteen eighteen,
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: nineteen twenty, grabbing the classes. I was sixteen. That's why
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: I'm like, you know, like ID like grown woman for
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: a very long time. I always tell people I've been
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: thirty my whole life. I ain't never been scared and
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: do the shit with confidence too. I'll buy liquor, like,
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: that's my idea. I wasn't drinking, but I was driving,
• 39:06
  Speaker 1: like I don't know you early yeah, and nobody like
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: with nobody else though, and so well I can I'll say.
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: Me and Prisiona my best friend. Now, we've been houlding
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: each other hand doing the fucking world dirty since we
• 39:19
  Speaker 1: was in first grade. Girls double bet you on niggas.
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: So I don't know, so I've never Yeah, I just
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: feel like it's always easier to just be authentic, you know, like,
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: and it does take I don't know, does authenticity take practice?
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 39:39
  Speaker 2: Well, yeah, I think so, because some people they spend
• 39:43
  Speaker 2: not not because they want to, but just to survive.
• 39:46
  Speaker 2: They have to code switch so much, you know, they
• 39:49
  Speaker 2: can't go into a workplace and be their authentic self.
• 39:53
  Speaker 2: We are lucky to work in environments where we need
• 39:57
  Speaker 2: to be ourselves.
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: You have to be you. There is a there's a uniform,
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: you know, how you gotta look, how you gotta talk,
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: how you gotta act. And I just never conform to that.
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: And I've always been accepted, you know, I think, I.
• 40:09
  Speaker 2: Mean, not everybody is lucky like some of like the
• 40:14
  Speaker 2: culture and some of these corporate organizations. You can't walk
• 40:17
  Speaker 2: in and as your authentic self and not.
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: As you can I promise you can unless you're working
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: at some place like Devils Product.
• 40:25
  Speaker 2: First of all, I know I can't walk into some
• 40:27
  Speaker 2: of these corporations and say the ship that really be
• 40:29
  Speaker 2: on my mind and how I deliver it.
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: It's not you gotta have the quorum and some kooth
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: you know. And nobody just saying that.
• 40:38
  Speaker 2: Bitch like I would if you're not, like I don't call.
• 40:42
  Speaker 1: It in authentic though, you know what I'm saying, there's
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: layers to there should be You should have layers as
• 40:48
  Speaker 1: a person, right, you should be able to do this
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: and that and you should know how to. And I
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: don't really feel like it's a code switch per se.
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: It's just this is not the place for that.
• 40:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but sometimes I feel like if you if you are,
• 41:03
  Speaker 2: if you're at home, you're not saying you bet you
• 41:07
  Speaker 2: but if you're at whatever at work, But I mean
• 41:10
  Speaker 2: people are saying ship at work, you're so crazy?
• 41:13
  Speaker 1: You say you.
• 41:14
  Speaker 2: Bet you bet? You?
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: Thanks Tom? Yeah, and Tom know you don't say that
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: ship at home, Like I'm not I'm not playing with Tom.
• 41:24
  Speaker 2: I see, I don't.
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: I don't work in logan.
• 41:26
  Speaker 2: I don't know what. But this is just an example
• 41:29
  Speaker 2: I imagine like people are having to be like, you know,
• 41:33
  Speaker 2: you have.
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: The family, they all won't conk a certain level, and
• 41:39
  Speaker 1: then get home like, yes, let me tell you what
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: the fuck? Having at work like it's just two different people,
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: you know, and it's just not you know, you have
• 41:47
  Speaker 1: to just be dis vertically yourself.
• 41:49
  Speaker 2: That isn't really authentic to your I'm off work, you know. Yeah,
• 41:56
  Speaker 2: And that's the survival. That's the coping survival mechanism as
• 41:59
  Speaker 2: far as i'm but maybe I'm wrong. You corporate girl,
• 42:02
  Speaker 2: LEAs tell me what y'all say. I don't know, I've
• 42:05
  Speaker 2: done hair, I work in a podcast, and then these
• 42:08
  Speaker 2: inspections I don't talk to nobody, So you know, I'm never.
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: I don't want to be doing anything in life where
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: I feel like I'm not being me unless I'm acting,
• 42:19
  Speaker 1: unless I'm actually acting and getting paid to act, and it
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: has to know I'm not doing it, you know what
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: I'm saying, Because like, eventually, you're not going to know
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: who the fuck you are. You're not going to recognize
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: you anymore, right, And that's what mental health issues start,
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: you know, flaring up and coming into play, like you
• 42:38
  Speaker 1: have a whole personality disorder. Now you just about twenty
• 42:42
  Speaker 1: different bitches. No, just be yourself. It is easier. It's
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: easier that way. And maybe that's some things that some
• 42:48
  Speaker 1: of my like, maybe I've had friends who who just
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: couldn't I couldn't do that. Yeah, they just couldn't do that,
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: And maybe that's something they didn't like. Why we're not
• 43:00
  Speaker 1: friends anymore either. I don't know. It's that you're able
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: to just roam around the fucking planet like yourself and
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: people accepted.
• 43:11
  Speaker 2: H Mmm, I don't know.
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: I mean it's a gift. Maybe it's a gift. I
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: don't know. I'm still not everybody's cup of tea.
• 43:24
  Speaker 2: What about people calling growth like being like, oh you changed.
• 43:28
  Speaker 1: So so what why why am I expected to be
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: the same. Yeah, ten years from now.
• 43:37
  Speaker 2: I remember, I remember being on the other side of
• 43:40
  Speaker 2: that and not being accepting of my friend's growth. Yeah. Yeah,
• 43:47
  Speaker 2: and I had to adapt. It wasn't she got a man,
• 43:53
  Speaker 2: she started having kids, and like being her used to
• 43:56
  Speaker 2: be outside doing stuff, and now her life has changed
• 44:01
  Speaker 2: so much and now she can't be Our friendship has changed,
• 44:07
  Speaker 2: you know, not because we're not as close as we were.
• 44:11
  Speaker 2: It's just that she just doesn't have She's spread thinner.
• 44:14
  Speaker 2: Now she's a mom, she's got a man, she has
• 44:17
  Speaker 2: responsibilities that and mine hasn't changed. I ain't got that
• 44:20
  Speaker 2: man and I ain't got this, so I'm still like girl.
• 44:26
  Speaker 1: But she probably envy your freedom sometimes, yeah, you know, yeah,
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: she probably missed the old her sometimes And it's okay.
• 44:36
  Speaker 2: And I miss the old Earth sometimes too, you know, but.
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: Then curiously through you sometimes a little bit, and then I,
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: like I would be getting mad like at first, I mean,
• 44:46
  Speaker 1: and I can admit that, look at your face, you're
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: so fucking stupid.
• 44:52
  Speaker 2: We're getting mad like that bit you can't go again,
• 44:55
  Speaker 2: you know, So I had to. I can admit that
• 45:00
  Speaker 2: I was, you know, selfish in that way, like, and
• 45:03
  Speaker 2: I had to adapt to maintain our friendship and accept
• 45:09
  Speaker 2: that things have changed. There is growth. So I can't
• 45:12
  Speaker 2: sit here and be like I've never been the on
• 45:16
  Speaker 2: the other side of that and being the one who
• 45:19
  Speaker 2: can't accept the change. They're struggling to accept the change.
• 45:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, somebody, somebody improving their life and growing, showing growth.
• 45:27
  Speaker 1: I can clearly see growth that has never like sometimes
• 45:30
  Speaker 1: people get offended by growth. ID like to me, when
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: somebody is doing well or starts doing better, I just
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: know I can also do that. Right, That's just something
• 45:41
  Speaker 1: from something else for me to aspire to, because usually
• 45:44
  Speaker 1: when people start doing good, either you're gonna be become
• 45:46
  Speaker 1: a hater or you're gonna be inspired by it. So
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: I'm usually inspired by the thing.
• 45:53
  Speaker 2: I remember one time, like because we would FaceTime this
• 45:56
  Speaker 2: is another friend she got a she married now, and
• 46:01
  Speaker 2: oh I would FaceTime her all time to night. And
• 46:03
  Speaker 2: one day she was like, girl, I am in the
• 46:06
  Speaker 2: bed with my husband. You cannot be facetiming me this late.
• 46:10
  Speaker 2: I'm in the bed with my husband.
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: And I was like looking at the fall all disgusting, like, oh, bitch,
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: I've been facetiming you since FaceTime started, like and now
• 46:20
  Speaker 1: I can't be cause you got that nigga in your
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: bed bench like I was sorry, but I had to
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: respect the growth, the change.
• 46:27
  Speaker 2: You know. But I can remember being like my flappers
• 46:31
  Speaker 2: were gasted when she was like, girl, you cannot be
• 46:33
  Speaker 2: facetiming me in the middle of the night. My nigga
• 46:35
  Speaker 2: is we were in bed wrong.
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: I remember you finished timing me in bed and I'm
• 46:44
  Speaker 1: still like trying to be outside talking to you, like
• 46:47
  Speaker 1: in the bed in the dark, and this nigga like
• 46:50
  Speaker 1: get off the phone, and you was like, I gotta
• 46:53
  Speaker 1: go to bed. I'm like, you gotta go, Like I
• 47:00
  Speaker 1: just mad as hell. I gotta go to sleep. This
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: nigga add lights out, like we in prison somewhere, my
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: nigga calling me, my people scholling me and I can't
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: even talk right now with free I can't talk to you.
• 47:12
  Speaker 2: I gotta call you tomorrow.
• 47:16
  Speaker 1: Foolishness. And you know, people, people are comfortable, And I
• 47:22
  Speaker 1: think I think some of these things I experience more
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: so from family than friends because I think like with friends,
• 47:29
  Speaker 1: like you'll kind of be growing together for the most part,
• 47:31
  Speaker 1: and people do grow apart, whatever that is supposed to be.
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: I don't agree that grown ass people grow apart. It's
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: usually somebody started acting like a bitch out of nowhere.
• 47:42
  Speaker 1: You know, they probably never was really fucking with you,
• 47:44
  Speaker 1: like maybe you were beneficial to them while he was
• 47:47
  Speaker 1: fucking with you in the first place, right, But I
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: think I feel like I feel like I've experienced that
• 47:55
  Speaker 1: like from family. You know what I'm saying. I am
• 47:56
  Speaker 1: totally the black sheep of my damn family. You know,
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: I eat different, I think different, I do a lot
• 48:03
  Speaker 1: of things differently. And it's almost like they and not everybody,
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: because most people let me live. But it's a couple
• 48:09
  Speaker 1: of people in particular, they just they can't fathom that
• 48:14
  Speaker 1: you are this person. They just like, I known you
• 48:18
  Speaker 1: my whole life. How do you? I've known you your
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: whole life? How are you this person? Right? Because I've
• 48:27
  Speaker 1: always had my own mind, like my whole life. If you,
• 48:29
  Speaker 1: if you knew me my whole life, you know that
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: how I am today is not too far fetched. My nigga,
• 48:39
  Speaker 1: I don't know that rebel. Yeah, Like you know, you
• 48:43
  Speaker 1: knew I was gonna grow out to be fucking crazy,
• 48:46
  Speaker 1: you know, it.
• 48:47
  Speaker 2: My friend told me the other day because I was
• 48:50
  Speaker 2: I'm supposed to go on a tiki boat little situation
• 48:54
  Speaker 2: tomorrow and I was showing her on my outfit and
• 48:56
  Speaker 2: she was like, hmmm. I was like what She was like,
• 49:02
  Speaker 2: I remember when you used to dress like a whole
• 49:04
  Speaker 2: and now you dress like a like way too conservative.
• 49:07
  Speaker 2: Can we just find like some healthy balance like in between,
• 49:11
  Speaker 2: like you're going on a boat and because I'm thinking, y'all,
• 49:17
  Speaker 2: I'm thinking soft luxury, quiet luxury, some linen pants and
• 49:20
  Speaker 2: like a tie up linen shirt and it's just got
• 49:23
  Speaker 2: cut on a boat, yes, with some shades. She was like, girl,
• 49:30
  Speaker 2: put on a baby suit in a cover up? Why
• 49:33
  Speaker 2: are you being so super conservative now?
• 49:36
  Speaker 1: Because we fucking grown ass women and everything on call
• 49:40
  Speaker 1: for your ass to be hanging out.
• 49:42
  Speaker 2: And I was like, I'm kind of like loki offended, Like, Okay,
• 49:46
  Speaker 2: I have been dressed like a hole in a long time.
• 49:48
  Speaker 2: That was just a long time tammy, right last summer?
• 49:52
  Speaker 1: Last summer?
• 49:57
  Speaker 2: No, Nope, No, seriously, it's been quite a while. I haven't.
• 50:00
  Speaker 2: I don't even go outside like that no more. I
• 50:02
  Speaker 2: don't be outside. I feel like when she start having
• 50:05
  Speaker 2: been kids She kind of said, both of us down
• 50:07
  Speaker 2: low key well faith, but I just don't feel comfortable
• 50:11
  Speaker 2: in those kinds of things anymore. Like my style has grown,
• 50:18
  Speaker 2: it has evolved that Dre's more conservative. I Dre just
• 50:20
  Speaker 2: more like a lady. I don't have to have the
• 50:23
  Speaker 2: tiniest shit on with my ass out and all that stuff.
• 50:26
  Speaker 2: You just don't appeal to me. And that's growth, and
• 50:30
  Speaker 2: that's okay. But she said, I look like a grandma
• 50:33
  Speaker 2: on my outfit for the.
• 50:36
  Speaker 1: Let me see the outfit facetimeulated, Yeah, I'm pretty sure
• 50:39
  Speaker 1: it's key.
• 50:41
  Speaker 2: I still not bodying it like you know, like, but
• 50:43
  Speaker 2: it's just not see.
• 50:45
  Speaker 1: That is the thing people don't You don't have to listen.
• 50:48
  Speaker 1: This is why like winter and she like that is
• 50:50
  Speaker 1: for fly bitches. Y'all fucking naked holes don't know what
• 50:53
  Speaker 1: to put on in the winter. Like long as the
• 50:56
  Speaker 1: body is bodying, it is like people won't see it.
• 50:59
  Speaker 1: They don't don't want to be naked. If the goal
• 51:01
  Speaker 1: is for somebody to see your body, right, because they
• 51:04
  Speaker 1: don't see it, I can't hide it. It's exactly exactly
• 51:07
  Speaker 1: and it's even more appealing and it's even more like
• 51:10
  Speaker 1: sexy when the body is covered up. Niggas like, God,
• 51:14
  Speaker 1: what's up under there? Exactly? Okay, the element of surprise,
• 51:21
  Speaker 1: surprise surprise, Yeah, all right, so I want to play it,
• 51:26
  Speaker 1: okay called former me would all right, So I want
• 51:31
  Speaker 1: you to finish the sentence.
• 51:35
  Speaker 2: Form me would tolerate. So something that you would have
• 51:40
  Speaker 2: tolerated before that you're just not going for now.
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: Ooh, former me, I probably you know, tolerated. Damn. This
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: is like in friendships, right.
• 51:55
  Speaker 2: It could be in anything, don't have to be. It
• 51:58
  Speaker 2: could be in work, it could be relationship, it could
• 52:00
  Speaker 2: be friendships. It could be with yourself.
• 52:03
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I just feel like I probably used
• 52:06
  Speaker 1: to let a lot of shit slide, just like just
• 52:10
  Speaker 1: knowing people who like knowing who people are and knowing
• 52:13
  Speaker 1: knowing their psychology. Right, I lest you slide just because,
• 52:16
  Speaker 1: like I said, as long as I know who you are,
• 52:18
  Speaker 1: basically like can deal with the ship. I really don't
• 52:21
  Speaker 1: let shit slide no more, like, bitch, I'm calling your
• 52:23
  Speaker 1: ass out right the fuck now. You ain't gonna ain't
• 52:26
  Speaker 1: gonna never be a situation where you'd be like, oh,
• 52:28
  Speaker 1: you should have said no, bitch right now, and then
• 52:30
  Speaker 1: I'm the nag now because now I'm calling out the
• 52:34
  Speaker 1: minute I see that, Yeah, and that becomes nagging to people. Okay,
• 52:39
  Speaker 1: but that's what the motherfuckers asked for because y'all don't
• 52:41
  Speaker 1: want me building reco cases no more. Usually I'll just
• 52:44
  Speaker 1: shut the fuck up. Now, I'm gonna say something every
• 52:48
  Speaker 1: fucking time I don't like something. Yeah, and so maybe
• 52:52
  Speaker 1: I used to. I don't want to say tolerate disrespect.
• 52:54
  Speaker 1: I have. You know, there has been situations where you
• 52:57
  Speaker 1: know something, that something happens, and like later on, you like, man,
• 53:00
  Speaker 1: I should have, I should have. I have so many
• 53:02
  Speaker 1: of those, bru I.
• 53:04
  Speaker 2: Got this thing that happened in like twenty fourteen, bitch
• 53:07
  Speaker 2: that I still been thinking about in the shower, like, well,
• 53:10
  Speaker 2: I should have.
• 53:11
  Speaker 1: I told you about my cousin to wedd and shit, like,
• 53:14
  Speaker 1: I ain't over that shit, bitch, because I held my piece.
• 53:17
  Speaker 1: That's why I'm like, don't fucking hold your piece. If
• 53:20
  Speaker 1: somebody do some shit to you and you don't like
• 53:22
  Speaker 1: that shit, bitch, speak on it immediately. Do not let
• 53:25
  Speaker 1: it fucking fester. Because I like you, bitch, I don't
• 53:29
  Speaker 1: like I love you because we related and you're my cousin.
• 53:31
  Speaker 1: I don't fucking like you though, because you played with
• 53:33
  Speaker 1: me and I haven't been able to discuss it with you.
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: And then the thing is that if I were to
• 53:39
  Speaker 1: say something today, i'd look petty right because now or
• 53:45
  Speaker 1: I couldn't say some shit like girl, no, let me
• 53:48
  Speaker 1: not say it. I'll tell you when we get off
• 53:49
  Speaker 1: here though, well, and you know, and this is why,
• 53:52
  Speaker 1: this is how, this is how I don't be having
• 53:55
  Speaker 1: to fight battles. This is how I like when somebody
• 53:58
  Speaker 1: play with me. Ship always be fucked up. Okay, when
• 54:04
  Speaker 1: we get off here about that situation over? Yeah, all right,
• 54:08
  Speaker 1: so yeah, letting people, letting people? What was it he said?
• 54:12
  Speaker 1: I tolerate yet do you little disrespect?
• 54:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah? Former me would chase a nigga with a lot
• 54:22
  Speaker 2: of money.
• 54:26
  Speaker 1: There was a time where I definitely I enjoy the chase,
• 54:31
  Speaker 1: like I like, now just I don't want that.
• 54:36
  Speaker 2: I remember. I like, if a nigga was like too
• 54:37
  Speaker 2: readily available to me, I'd be like, I don't know,
• 54:40
  Speaker 2: you know, but if a nigga gave a little chase,
• 54:43
  Speaker 2: then I'd be like all into him, retarded. Now I
• 54:46
  Speaker 2: don't got it, I ain't got it. In me or
• 54:48
  Speaker 2: time to chase nobody money are broke.
• 54:52
  Speaker 1: And listen, if it ain't no reciprocity that's in in
• 54:56
  Speaker 1: in my love life and friendships, I ain't doing it
• 55:00
  Speaker 1: like I'm not liking you more than you like me.
• 55:02
  Speaker 1: And even if I did, Nigga, you'll never know. I'm
• 55:05
  Speaker 1: gonna act like you don't exist if you know, if
• 55:09
  Speaker 1: you're not doing it nothing I like. Yeah, if you
• 55:11
  Speaker 1: ain't doing any things that I like and like and
• 55:14
  Speaker 1: things that I like, could just be like just being
• 55:15
  Speaker 1: at my ass when I think you're supposed to be,
• 55:18
  Speaker 1: why you're not on me? That's how you are you? Well,
• 55:22
  Speaker 1: I used to like that, like he different, stupid. Now
• 55:25
  Speaker 1: I'm like you better like me when I like you.
• 55:28
  Speaker 2: If you don't like me, get form of me would
• 55:37
  Speaker 2: be proud of this? What is it? I don't know.
• 55:44
  Speaker 1: This is tough, you know.
• 55:45
  Speaker 2: And these are hard?
• 55:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, this is kind of tough. Form of me would
• 55:49
  Speaker 1: be proud of. And I guess I'll go back to
• 55:53
  Speaker 1: like relationships, women and stuff like that. I tolerated a
• 55:57
  Speaker 1: lot and I feel like and I guess that I
• 56:00
  Speaker 1: also translates into friendships also, right, just former me would
• 56:05
  Speaker 1: be proud that I'm not putting up in none of
• 56:07
  Speaker 1: the bullshit. Yeah, you gotta get the fuck up out
• 56:10
  Speaker 1: of here. Yeah, that's that's that's uh. That's former me
• 56:15
  Speaker 1: would be proud that I can say no wholeheartedly. I
• 56:19
  Speaker 1: ain't going for that wholeheartedly dumping niggas. In real time,
• 56:25
  Speaker 1: I've been dumping niggas. It's fun been.
• 56:31
  Speaker 2: Former me would definitely be proud of the fact that
• 56:34
  Speaker 2: I don't. I'm no longer looking for nobody to come
• 56:39
  Speaker 2: in and save me. I just was always like, yeah,
• 56:41
  Speaker 2: I'm just gonna marry rich. That was always the life plan.
• 56:45
  Speaker 2: And then at one point I was like, girl, if
• 56:48
  Speaker 2: you don't get you a simple iri and a retirement
• 56:54
  Speaker 2: and start figuring it out for yourself, you're gonna be
• 56:57
  Speaker 2: out here down bab bitch. Yes, So we would be
• 57:01
  Speaker 2: proud of how I'm saving, how I'm taking care of her,
• 57:05
  Speaker 2: of my health, and my finance is in a new way,
• 57:10
  Speaker 2: and I can like, you know, don't I haven't raised
• 57:13
  Speaker 2: a single text message since I can't since I got
• 57:18
  Speaker 2: an iPhone, Like, my shit goes all the way back,
• 57:21
  Speaker 2: and I could just look at some of the ship
• 57:23
  Speaker 2: that I was saying to niggas and I'd be like, oh, bitch,
• 57:25
  Speaker 2: stand up, you wa can the least bitch? Like I
• 57:29
  Speaker 2: look at the message, I just be disgusted with myself,
• 57:32
  Speaker 2: you know, so form of me would be proud of
• 57:35
  Speaker 2: the version of me that just before you all today.
• 57:38
  Speaker 2: That's like she is different. She is not begging no
• 57:42
  Speaker 2: nigga to act right. She is not caring. She is like, go,
• 57:46
  Speaker 2: please go find your happiness. Start if it ain't here, period,
• 57:50
  Speaker 2: hit it again, yes, period, you said, hit the thing again.
• 57:55
  Speaker 2: Hell yeah.
• 57:58
  Speaker 1: So now that's one thing I need to do is
• 58:00
  Speaker 1: get rid of my phone number. Man, I've had the
• 58:03
  Speaker 1: cell phone number since I was eighteen years old, the
• 58:06
  Speaker 1: same number.
• 58:08
  Speaker 2: That's a long time.
• 58:09
  Speaker 1: That is a long fucking time. And I'm like, I mean,
• 58:12
  Speaker 1: do I need to change my phone number?
• 58:16
  Speaker 2: Unless you want to? Like, I mean, I want of
• 58:19
  Speaker 2: them people? Who are you still that you don't want them?
• 58:23
  Speaker 1: I mean it's the collectors, of course, but like people
• 58:28
  Speaker 1: we're gonna find you.
• 58:29
  Speaker 2: Don't worry about that. Whatever. You know, they're gonna find
• 58:32
  Speaker 2: your ass.
• 58:32
  Speaker 1: I bet you they won't match. You can find me
• 58:37
  Speaker 1: at my mama house, find me at my daddy house.
• 58:42
  Speaker 1: You won't find me at my house. Fuck y'all fucking
• 58:47
  Speaker 1: Sally May.
• 58:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I.
• 58:52
  Speaker 1: Former me thought this mattered.
• 58:56
  Speaker 2: Mm hmm.
• 59:00
  Speaker 1: This is tough man, Your games are tough. Yeah, this
• 59:05
  Speaker 1: is y'all.
• 59:07
  Speaker 2: Play along with yourself at home, not your vagina.
• 59:10
  Speaker 1: Play answer the question, I don't know. I don't know.
• 59:15
  Speaker 2: Form of me thought the other's opinions of me. Yeah,
• 59:24
  Speaker 2: forming me care like why they don't like me? Baby,
• 59:30
  Speaker 2: I don't give a fuck. I could not care. I
• 59:33
  Speaker 2: could give it. Damn. I definitely used to care like
• 59:36
  Speaker 2: I wanted to be, like I wanted to be, you know,
• 59:40
  Speaker 2: received the way I thought, you know, I was presenting.
• 59:43
  Speaker 2: But some people will be just committed not to liking you,
• 59:47
  Speaker 2: you know, some people will be committed to misunderstanding you.
• 59:51
  Speaker 2: And when like a young girl version of me wanted
• 59:54
  Speaker 2: to be liked, wanted to be loved, especially was not
• 59:59
  Speaker 2: not not necessarily niggas I always feel like they like me.
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 2: It was women that I would just always be trying
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 2: to befriend and like, you know, sit in.
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 1: And now that's because with women in particular, youe, it
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 1: just has to be it gotta be organic, right, So
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 1: I've never I've never tried to put myself in place
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 1: that I didn't feel welcomed or no shit like that.
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 1: So I never I never gave a fuck about people
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 1: not liking me. I really never cared. And I think
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 1: that might be like the highest form of emotional intelligence,
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 1: Like you can't care, You're not gonna be able. I'll
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 1: give this podcast for an example. I see the shit
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 1: people be talking. The thing is, there is no one
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 1: person on this planet that can say or do a
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 1: thing in a way that everybody will receive it the
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 1: way that they are convenient. And I understand perspective, right,
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 1: So I'm never going to get on somebody else because
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 1: of how they see a thing, Right, That's what arguments.
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 1: That's that's what starts arguments. People just having different perspectives. Right.
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 1: And we are sitting here communicating the whole time on
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 1: this podcast, right, But communication is not key. Comprehension is
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 1: So if you are not comprehending what I'm saying simply
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 1: because we go on two different frequencies, I'm not about
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 1: to argue or be mad that somebody doesn't like a thing,
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 1: doesn't like me off of I don't know what our
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 1: worth or whatever. You know, what I'm saying that's on you, baby,
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 1: that's on you, baby. That shit does not bother me.
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 1: And in an industry like this, in an entertainment period,
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 1: you gotta have really thick skin. You cannot give a
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 1: fuck about what people think about you, because, first of all,
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 1: y'all not doing what I do to even know how
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 1: you would handle the type of pressure of a bunch
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 1: of people not liking you.
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 2: Right, I feel like I've been training college most bitches
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 2: like it's a two thousand, and I hope some of
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 2: y'all listening. Y'all bitches, Ooh, y'all hate it me for
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 2: no reason, like y'all does not have no reason to
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 2: like me. But y'all just collectively, y'all just came together
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 2: and not like me. So I've been training for this
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 2: for my whole life.
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 1: Been it? It be? Motherfuckers you don't even know like
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 1: a sorry from I'm speaking like from like these are
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 1: you know the people listening to this show. I do
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 1: appreciate you, but you are strangers, right, But in real
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 1: life situations with people who don't know you and not
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 1: liking you, that is always the most strangest thing to me.
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 1: Like that you don't like yourself is what I'm hearing
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 1: and seeing period, because I've given I've given you no
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 1: reason not to like me. I mean, it could be
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 1: just the way your orang shine some of it on,
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 1: Like I know, I got gold in my skin, baby,
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 1: I be looking like.
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 2: A sun shutes. What do you feel like? Thought? What
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 2: did you think mattered that you now know doesn't?
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we just that's what we were just talking about,
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 1: people about me. Yeah, I agree, I agree. That's my
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 1: same thing. I never was, Oh, I never You've been right.
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 1: I never thought it fucking mattered if somebody liked me
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 1: or not. Yeah, that was a hard one, that was
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 1: I actually said it first, and I don't. I don't.
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 1: I don't know a thing that I thought that mattered.
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 2: And then you, you know, as you've grown, you realize
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 2: it don't matter. You know.
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 1: I don't want to come off like I don't give
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 1: a fuck, you know, because I mean, I don't want
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 1: to come off as a person who just doesn't care
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 1: about anything. But people just be people, and man, people
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 1: just be being humans. And none of that shit ever
• 1:03:32
  Speaker 1: fucking mattered to me since I was born. So I
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 1: don't know. I swear I don't know.
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 2: So is there nothing in this life that you were like, Okay,
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 2: maybe I was wrong about.
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 1: That about somebody, what somebody like anything? Absolutely, yeah, absolutely,
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 1: I've been wrong about things. But you know, I do
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 1: pride myself on being right though, And when I say
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 1: being right, it's just doing people right and not a
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 1: stand apologizing. I don't like it because that means I
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 1: royally fucked up. So I pride myself on it, moving
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 1: right and doing right by people, so I don't have
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 1: to apologize, that's all. So I mean, yeah, I've absolutely
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 1: fucked up and can take accountability and say I fucked up.
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 1: And man, if I do some fucked up shit to somebody,
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 1: man that shit was warranted. And we can sit on
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 1: stage and in a collective whatever, we can lay on
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 1: all the things so people can have all the information
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 1: to see how I came to this fucking point, all right.
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 1: And then last y'all my nose and I'm so sorry, y'all.
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 1: I love y'all. Thank you.
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 2: All right, last one form of me cared too much about.
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 1: I think the older I get, I'm in a in
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 1: a relationship. I do absolutely value my relationship and the
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 1: person I'm with. But I used to care too much
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 1: about these niggas. I can't say that I care about
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 1: niggas like that anymore either, or you haven't even having
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 1: a relationship with them if it's not just super great
• 1:05:12
  Speaker 1: and solid day one. Same for friendships, you know what
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 1: I'm saying, Like, girl, I forgot what you said cared
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 1: too much about? Yeah, I don't know. I guess I
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 1: care too much about these niggas, and that's it. I
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 1: never cared too much about people liking me to have
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 1: to put that as one of the things. Again, m h,
• 1:05:44
  Speaker 1: I don't know. These questions seemed were done, and it's
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 1: like the same thing they're asking me, Like why y'all
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 1: why y'all ask me these same things.
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 2: Trying to get an answer out dodging, I think, all right,
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 2: So me for me care too much how I present
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 2: it outside, Like I felt like I always had to
• 1:06:14
  Speaker 2: be well put together and I would just have anxiety
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 2: about it almost like we used to be like really
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 2: bad too, especially when I was younger, you know, like
• 1:06:26
  Speaker 2: I feel like, oh, I don't want nobody to see
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 2: me looking like this. I gotta be dulled up to
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 2: go to the fucking grocery store, Like I just I
• 1:06:33
  Speaker 2: gotta put on every time I'm walking in the grocery
• 1:06:36
  Speaker 2: store in High Hills, walking around Benedicta, and yeah, look
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 2: at them miss Hall, like just doing too much to present.
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 1: That shit was one semester for me, did I started
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 1: working a full time joab. The next messa is, I know,
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 1: I don't give that's a black thing. Black people make
• 1:06:56
  Speaker 1: people have so much like we have so much pressure
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 1: on us to put on. You know what I'm saying,
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 1: Like your kid, Like, as a kid, you're supposed to
• 1:07:04
  Speaker 1: just be looking a hot mask or go to class.
• 1:07:06
  Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, throw some ship on and
• 1:07:08
  Speaker 1: go to fuck to class. You will get all the
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 1: all the ship you hustling backwards when you start doing
• 1:07:14
  Speaker 1: all the grown ship early.
• 1:07:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, just give a fuck about no more. I will
• 1:07:23
  Speaker 2: throwing a hat and some sunglasses. It is whatever the
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 2: fuck is closest.
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 1: I'm just got dress it up now. That's why I started,
• 1:07:31
  Speaker 1: like lately like my go to ship, like because I
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 1: wouldn't work out clothes every single day, but I'll throw
• 1:07:35
  Speaker 1: a blazer on with that ship and automatically makes ship
• 1:07:38
  Speaker 1: look tea. Just throw a quick little blazer on and
• 1:07:41
  Speaker 1: your sunglasses even if you got a hat on, it's
• 1:07:43
  Speaker 1: just gonna now we dressed up.
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm wearing a sweat sweatshirt, hat and some sneakers
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 2: and no makeup. I'm not doing all of that lashes.
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 2: What I'm not putting it on. I don't have time.
• 1:08:02
  Speaker 2: And I still feel like I'm pretty without all of
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 2: that stuff. There was a time where I felt like
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 2: I needed that shit to feel pretty. I don't.
• 1:08:08
  Speaker 1: Well, I need my fucking eyebrows. Okay, you ain't get
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 1: You ain't catching me outside with my eyebrows on. And
• 1:08:15
  Speaker 1: right now my hair is so little, but it's cute.
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 1: I'm still not comfortable going outside with this low hair.
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 2: Why do you call it your little hair? Like you
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 2: mean I cut it?
• 1:08:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I cut it little, but it looks it looks
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 1: healthy and stuff.
• 1:08:31
  Speaker 2: Got an afro.
• 1:08:33
  Speaker 1: Girl ain't even really an afro yet. Child, it's like
• 1:08:35
  Speaker 1: a little curly little thing. Well, I mean, y'all, our
• 1:08:40
  Speaker 1: relationship to our hair has.
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 2: Been toxic since we were kids, honestly, like, so that's
• 1:08:45
  Speaker 2: something to unlearn as well. I feel like bitches our age,
• 1:08:49
  Speaker 2: sorry women our age. They start getting sister locked because
• 1:08:52
  Speaker 2: they you know, sister locks are cute. But very cute.
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 1: But I ain't doing it. It's just too much commitment
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 1: for me. And every time I might see someone's I'm like,
• 1:09:01
  Speaker 1: that is so gorgeous.
• 1:09:02
  Speaker 2: It looks, but it is not gonna good on me,
• 1:09:04
  Speaker 2: I feel.
• 1:09:05
  Speaker 1: Like, yeah, I'll wait, I'll wait until and then I'm
• 1:09:08
  Speaker 1: gonna skip. Bitch, I'm adding extensions on my shit. Bitch,
• 1:09:11
  Speaker 1: I'm not starting with at the I'm not starting. I'm
• 1:09:14
  Speaker 1: not doing that was cheating. I'm cheating my way all right.
• 1:09:18
  Speaker 2: So last thing I want to do before we get
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 2: up out of here. What version of yourself are you
• 1:09:23
  Speaker 2: trying to become? Now? Now, I want to pause before
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 2: you answer. Everybody listening, I want you to think about
• 1:09:31
  Speaker 2: that question and answer it out loud for the universe.
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 2: The version of yourself that you want to become. Right now,
• 1:09:40
  Speaker 2: let's give you a second, all right, a jan.
• 1:09:51
  Speaker 1: I wanted to be the healthiest version of myself and
• 1:09:56
  Speaker 1: that has been a goal my entire life. I've reached
• 1:09:59
  Speaker 1: it a couple of times, but maintaining it. You know
• 1:10:03
  Speaker 1: what I'm saying, like total life change, uh, total lifestyle change.
• 1:10:08
  Speaker 1: That is I feel like that is actually the door
• 1:10:11
  Speaker 1: to everything else. You know what I'm saying, like just fitness.
• 1:10:17
  Speaker 1: I want to be the healthiest version of AJ possible,
• 1:10:22
  Speaker 1: which includes a six pack. You know, it's been on
• 1:10:25
  Speaker 1: my vision board for a while.
• 1:10:26
  Speaker 3: Do it.
• 1:10:27
  Speaker 2: You can do it. I know I can't.
• 1:10:29
  Speaker 1: These transformations on Instagram would be fucking that's all. I
• 1:10:32
  Speaker 1: look at the fuck like the transformations that some of
• 1:10:36
  Speaker 1: these women, and I don't know if they're all on
• 1:10:38
  Speaker 1: the GLP one stuff. I'm afraid of that shit I had.
• 1:10:42
  Speaker 3: Uh.
• 1:10:42
  Speaker 1: I did a couple of peptides recently that I did
• 1:10:46
  Speaker 1: clod that's more for like skin, yeah, and here and
• 1:10:50
  Speaker 1: stuff like that. Girl got my stomach so bruised up.
• 1:10:53
  Speaker 2: Damn.
• 1:10:54
  Speaker 1: So my body rejects things. So I just I just
• 1:10:57
  Speaker 1: know that if I try to, I never get anything
• 1:11:01
  Speaker 1: I want easy.
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 2: Ever, don't say that.
• 1:11:05
  Speaker 1: It's the truth. I rebuke that aside. Fel like, listen
• 1:11:09
  Speaker 1: for real, girl, I have to. It's just the truth,
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 1: and I know it, and it's okay. I just got
• 1:11:16
  Speaker 1: to get up and do the things every time, you know,
• 1:11:19
  Speaker 1: because faith without work is fucking dead. So yeah, that's
• 1:11:25
  Speaker 1: just that's just the truth.
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 6: So for me, I want to have more discipline. Yeah,
• 1:11:36
  Speaker 6: we just need more discipline, Like, you know, I struggle.
• 1:11:40
  Speaker 2: With it my whole life. I was just thinking about,
• 1:11:43
  Speaker 2: like I feel like I cheated my way through high
• 1:11:46
  Speaker 2: school and college, you know what, like what like actual cheating.
• 1:11:52
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I'm just gonna say, like give me
• 1:11:57
  Speaker 2: that degree. Yeah, like you know, I just feel like
• 1:12:00
  Speaker 2: because I just don't have great discipline. So that's you know,
• 1:12:06
  Speaker 2: I want to be a more disciplined version of myself.
• 1:12:09
  Speaker 2: And I still, you know, I can be honest and
• 1:12:14
  Speaker 2: say that I still suffer with insecurities about myself and
• 1:12:20
  Speaker 2: I want to be like I can see people who
• 1:12:22
  Speaker 2: get on social media and will just do you know
• 1:12:26
  Speaker 2: who Meatball is? Meatball?
• 1:12:28
  Speaker 1: Yes, girl, But you don't want to be like that,
• 1:12:30
  Speaker 1: Like you don't want certain level. I don't want to
• 1:12:33
  Speaker 1: be like Meatball she really herself on the internet like whatever.
• 1:12:39
  Speaker 2: That looks like, yeah, not that far.
• 1:12:43
  Speaker 1: But I just admire how some people can just there's
• 1:12:49
  Speaker 1: a lot of people like that, and I bet and
• 1:12:52
  Speaker 1: I will just sit here and I'll be inspired by them.
• 1:12:55
  Speaker 1: But I'm not doing it. I'm not getting on the
• 1:12:57
  Speaker 1: internet with my hair looking a fucking mess. I'm just
• 1:12:59
  Speaker 1: that's just my personality.
• 1:13:00
  Speaker 2: But I think people align more with that because they
• 1:13:05
  Speaker 2: recognize it in themselves.
• 1:13:06
  Speaker 1: But it is that you though, if you're if your
• 1:13:09
  Speaker 1: personality is put together, why would you do that for people?
• 1:13:13
  Speaker 1: That's those people's personality. I'm not about to get on
• 1:13:16
  Speaker 1: the internet looking crazy when that's not normally how I
• 1:13:18
  Speaker 1: would be presenting for people, and that's not me putting
• 1:13:21
  Speaker 1: on when I want to be put together. I want
• 1:13:24
  Speaker 1: to be represented in the best life possible.
• 1:13:27
  Speaker 2: Girl. Yeah, I get that too, But I also just
• 1:13:31
  Speaker 2: want to be real, you know, I feel like, not
• 1:13:34
  Speaker 2: really real though.
• 1:13:35
  Speaker 1: I think you can still be you and not show
• 1:13:37
  Speaker 1: up like that that's real for those people.
• 1:13:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but sometimes I do look amiss sometimes live when
• 1:13:45
  Speaker 2: you do it, I will. I don't want to go
• 1:13:48
  Speaker 2: live when I do it, but I want to be
• 1:13:51
  Speaker 2: I want to.
• 1:13:51
  Speaker 1: Be so can confident.
• 1:13:52
  Speaker 2: I could if I wanted to, you know. But me,
• 1:13:55
  Speaker 2: I'm like, maybe I ain't doing that, you know what.
• 1:13:57
  Speaker 2: I ain't doing that, you know. But I would love
• 1:13:59
  Speaker 2: to have.
• 1:14:00
  Speaker 1: Young people too, man, the people young. It dud be
• 1:14:04
  Speaker 1: some older women online just doing whatever.
• 1:14:06
  Speaker 2: But I I aspired to that, you know. I do.
• 1:14:13
  Speaker 1: Up in the bed and hop on life.
• 1:14:15
  Speaker 2: Right, we'll crust the mind. Like it's like, y'all, good morning.
• 1:14:20
  Speaker 2: Do you know how deep my voice is in the
• 1:14:21
  Speaker 2: morning and not give.
• 1:14:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but with that then be too and authentic to you.
• 1:14:29
  Speaker 2: I mean it's my real self. My real self has
• 1:14:31
  Speaker 2: a deep voice in the morning. You know.
• 1:14:34
  Speaker 1: Well why everybody got to know that though, Like what's
• 1:14:36
  Speaker 1: gonna be for you?
• 1:14:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean everybody don't have to know. But I'm
• 1:14:40
  Speaker 2: just saying, like I don't want to be like I
• 1:14:43
  Speaker 2: want to be more free when it comes to how
• 1:14:46
  Speaker 2: I present on social media and on the show. I mean,
• 1:14:49
  Speaker 2: I feel like we get on here and we just
• 1:14:51
  Speaker 2: be ourself. I know, I'll come on here and I
• 1:14:53
  Speaker 2: just be exactly who I am, but in front of
• 1:14:55
  Speaker 2: that camera.
• 1:14:57
  Speaker 1: Baby, But it is differently. That's why it's a podcast,
• 1:15:02
  Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. But black people, we got
• 1:15:03
  Speaker 1: to create a whole production for y'all niggas, and I
• 1:15:06
  Speaker 1: feel like you and I we.
• 1:15:07
  Speaker 2: Need to get together and actually film again. You don't
• 1:15:10
  Speaker 2: want to, y'all, that's why we we ain't been filming.
• 1:15:12
  Speaker 1: AJ's a live girl.
• 1:15:14
  Speaker 2: What you said when I asked you the film last time? Yeah?
• 1:15:19
  Speaker 2: No here, No you didn't you.
• 1:15:22
  Speaker 1: Was gonna get on there with a chin scrap on filming.
• 1:15:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I could take the strap, I could take the
• 1:15:28
  Speaker 2: trip off.
• 1:15:31
  Speaker 1: Okay, both of us have not been recording. Not because
• 1:15:36
  Speaker 1: I just said you wanted to do what before we
• 1:15:38
  Speaker 1: got I'm not saying it on here. Okay, So yeah,
• 1:15:46
  Speaker 1: but we need to like and like and I already
• 1:15:48
  Speaker 1: did that and it ain't enough.
• 1:15:51
  Speaker 2: Oh you can, that's yes, girl. Why I saw no,
• 1:15:55
  Speaker 2: not twenty now ten?
• 1:15:58
  Speaker 1: Why I seen this video? This girl was like, stop
• 1:16:03
  Speaker 1: saying you just need to lose twenty pounds. Stop saying
• 1:16:06
  Speaker 1: that you need to lose more. You need to lose
• 1:16:11
  Speaker 1: more than twenty pounds. Bit you fat, But you know
• 1:16:14
  Speaker 1: what you gotta start somewhere. Twenty pounds the third place
• 1:16:17
  Speaker 1: you hide again, y'all? She got you got good So
• 1:16:21
  Speaker 1: you got a good neckline and shoulders.
• 1:16:27
  Speaker 2: What do you say, Matt? Oh?
• 1:16:29
  Speaker 1: Thank you? Mads Right, y'all, She struggled with complambis that's
• 1:16:34
  Speaker 1: what I got?
• 1:16:35
  Speaker 2: All right? Last thing, everybody, This is what I want
• 1:16:39
  Speaker 2: you to do to ask yourself. You know, when you
• 1:16:44
  Speaker 2: go on and you go on from this podcast and
• 1:16:47
  Speaker 2: going with your life, I want you to ask yourself,
• 1:16:49
  Speaker 2: what role are you tired of playing in people's lives?
• 1:16:53
  Speaker 2: Really think about that. What role are you tired of
• 1:16:56
  Speaker 2: playing in other motherfucker's lives? And then once you figure
• 1:17:02
  Speaker 2: that out, fix it, fix that shit?
• 1:17:08
  Speaker 3: Do it?
• 1:17:10
  Speaker 2: Can you do it? AJ? I ain't got no rules.
• 1:17:13
  Speaker 1: I'm tired of like I just don't be doing shit.
• 1:17:16
  Speaker 1: I don't want to do no more. This shit is
• 1:17:21
  Speaker 1: like done, I ain't doing shit, I don't want to
• 1:17:23
  Speaker 1: do no more. Fuck that.
• 1:17:25
  Speaker 2: Well, that's good, but everybody ain't in that position yet.
• 1:17:28
  Speaker 1: So if you work, it might come after.
• 1:17:31
  Speaker 2: Forty though, yeah or later. Who knows, it might come
• 1:17:35
  Speaker 2: today after you listen to this podcast.
• 1:17:37
  Speaker 1: But do it there we y'all. So if y'all enjoyed
• 1:17:43
  Speaker 1: this episode, y'all tune in every Thursday on the iHeartRadio
• 1:17:45
  Speaker 1: app wherever the fuck you get your podcasts at this
• 1:17:47
  Speaker 1: your co host, AJ Holiday two point on instagrams.
• 1:17:52
  Speaker 2: Kick it tail now It's official team band on Instagram.
• 1:17:55
  Speaker 2: Follow me there, follow me talk back podcasts. I love
• 1:17:58
  Speaker 2: y'all so much. I appreciate you so much for tuning in.
• 1:18:02
  Speaker 2: Remember speak now.
• 1:18:07
  Speaker 1: Never hold yourself back growth, you never hold to growth. Yeah,
• 1:18:12
  Speaker 1: all right, all right, listen.
• 1:18:15
  Speaker 2: I want you to start. Listen, you gonna say speak now,
• 1:18:18
  Speaker 2: and then I'm gonna do the last part because I
• 1:18:20
  Speaker 2: feel like I'm gonna come up with some shit.
• 1:18:22
  Speaker 1: This.
• 1:18:22
  Speaker 2: You've been doing it for five years, so let's swap
• 1:18:25
  Speaker 2: it out.
• 1:18:26
  Speaker 1: All right, got it next time? All right, bye ya, bye, y'all.
• 1:18:31
  Speaker 1: We Talk Back Podcast is a production of iHeart Radio.
• 1:18:35
  Speaker 1: Visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen
• 1:18:39
  Speaker 1: to your favorite shows.