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Bonus IMPROV - I Pre-Paid For Doug · Very Fine Friends

• 0:00
  Joe, may we please have a suggestion for our improv?
• 0:19
  Thank you, Joe.
• 0:21
  Surgeries.
• 0:23
  Surgeries.
• 0:24
  Surgeries.
• 0:24
  Surgeries.
• 0:25
  Hmm.
• 0:25
  you ever had a broken bone jenna um i broke my jaw sometime when i was a kid
• 0:36
  oh my god which is like but i didn't know it was broken um yeah it was like one of those things i
• 0:44
  didn't tell anybody that i was in pain uh well because i was like it was somewhere around the
• 0:51
  time when i was 10 um i was a secret time it was a tough kid yeah so did it grow all weird yeah it
• 1:00
  did that's how they knew it broke because like later i i went and got x-rays and it was like
• 1:06
  it stopped developing on one side like on that side so like i can pop my jaw in and out um
• 1:12
  oh that is bonus content for sure sorry i don't know if that pop picked up on the mic
• 1:19
  I'll have it picked up.
• 1:20
  Okay.
• 1:22
  But, yeah.
• 1:23
  So, I did, yeah, that.
• 1:25
  But I don't know if that really counts if you're not, like, in it in the moment, right?
• 1:29
  What do you mean?
• 1:29
  What are you saying?
• 1:29
  Like, if it's broken in retrospect, does that count?
• 1:32
  Of course it counts.
• 1:33
  It's broken.
• 1:34
  Wear it as a badge of honor.
• 1:35
  Okay.
• 1:35
  Well, I...
• 1:36
  Sorry.
• 1:38
  I'm not.
• 1:39
  Have you ever broken a bone?
• 1:41
  Yeah.
• 1:42
  Ooh, what'd you break?
• 1:43
  I cracked my head open and I...
• 1:46
  Oh, that bone.
• 1:47
  The big bone.
• 1:48
  Yeah.
• 1:48
  Big round bone.
• 1:49
  Oh, geez.
• 1:49
  Yeah, I almost died.
• 1:51
  No.
• 1:52
  What happened?
• 1:52
  I tripped over a dog.
• 1:55
  Ah.
• 1:55
  We were running parallel to each other.
• 1:58
  No, perpendicular.
• 1:59
  And I just hit her, and I tumbled.
• 2:03
  And then we had a sidewalk in my backyard, and I hid it right on the corner.
• 2:06
  And I, like, got up in a daze, and I was like, ugh.
• 2:10
  How old were you?
• 2:12
  I don't know.
• 2:13
  Seven or eight?
• 2:15
  That part of my life is gone now.
• 2:17
  yeah but like paramedics came to get me yeah and they were like wrapping i remember they cut my
• 2:23
  shirt off my favorite shirt i know and they were like wrapped my head and like they're gonna put
• 2:27
  me in the ambulance and my dad like rolled up right at that time i was like no get him out of
• 2:32
  the car and like he wouldn't let me take him to the or he wouldn't let them take me to the hospital
• 2:38
  why because he didn want to pay for it so he took me he drove me to his friend who was like a general doctor like a PCP And was like he stitched me up while I was like awake Is your friend on was it just is he on PCP
• 2:54
  Maybe, it got done pretty fast.
• 3:00
  Oh, okay.
• 3:01
  Yeah, big scar.
• 3:03
  Well, you're still here.
• 3:05
  Not so much mentally.
• 3:06
  What if you would be a completely different person if that hadn't happened?
• 3:11
  What if I was straight?
• 3:12
  Oh my God.
• 3:13
  Until I hit my head.
• 3:15
  The dog knocked you gay.
• 3:23
  Okay.
• 3:24
  And now, improv.
• 3:31
  Okay, babe, I know the baby's coming and you're in a lot of pain.
• 3:34
  yeah yeah okay cool i got the go bag all ready to go uh you just hop in the car and i'll take
• 3:43
  you over to doug's house your your friend doug yeah my friend doug no okay why he's coming to
• 3:50
  the hospital no no no no you know we can't afford a hospital you know that
• 3:55
  no no they bill you later well yeah well doug will bill us later too it's fine
• 4:01
  so wait a minute
• 4:04
  I'm gonna put my pain away for a minute
• 4:06
  not only do I not get to go to a hospital
• 4:09
  I'm gonna go to your friend Doug
• 4:10
  and he's gonna charge us
• 4:12
  yeah but like a really like he gave us a really
• 4:14
  he gave us the friends and family discount
• 4:16
  I'm not going to Doug take me to the hospital
• 4:19
  look
• 4:19
  hey look
• 4:21
  I'm the man of the house
• 4:23
  you just gotta trust me on this one okay
• 4:25
  what the hell is that man of the house
• 4:28
  I'm sorry I don't mean to get all patriarchal
• 4:30
  We're done with all that.
• 4:31
  No, we're equals.
• 4:32
  Okay, well.
• 4:33
  This is my house.
• 4:34
  Remember last week you got to pick the movie?
• 4:38
  Get the hell out of here.
• 4:39
  Well, this week I'm invoking my right to choose where you give birth, okay?
• 4:45
  You said you liked the movie.
• 4:46
  It was fine.
• 4:48
  It was fine.
• 4:49
  I wanted to watch Terminator 2 Judgment Day.
• 4:52
  We've seen that a hundred times.
• 4:53
  I cannot deal with this right now.
• 4:55
  I'm in so much pain.
• 4:56
  I'm dizzy.
• 4:57
  Okay, that's right.
• 4:58
  We don't have time to discuss this.
• 4:59
  We'll just head over to my friend Doug's house.
• 5:01
  No.
• 5:01
  Look, he's cool.
• 5:04
  Doug sucks.
• 5:04
  I'm calling my sister Janune.
• 5:08
  Janune already knows about this plan, okay?
• 5:13
  I'm sorry.
• 5:14
  Sometimes Janune and I talk.
• 5:17
  Hold on.
• 5:18
  Oh, God.
• 5:18
  She agrees that the hospital industrial complex is just,
• 5:21
  they're out there trying to, like, extract every last penny from it.
• 5:25
  I don want our baby first memory to be an administrative bill from the hospital it won I getting upset the baby doesn even know about a bill Well it doesn for as long as I can help
• 5:38
  No, I refuse. I'm putting my foot down.
• 5:41
  Oh, I don't feel good. I don't feel good.
• 5:44
  All right, we better hurry up. Doug's just around the corner.
• 5:46
  No, I'll have this baby in the house before I go to Doug.
• 5:51
  All right, Doug can come to us.
• 5:52
  No, I don't want Doug. I hate Doug.
• 5:55
  Look, I'm prepaid for Doug.
• 5:58
  All right.
• 5:58
  How long have you been talking to Janune?
• 6:00
  I don't know.
• 6:02
  Since the wedding?
• 6:03
  It's normal, right?
• 6:04
  I'm friends with your sister.
• 6:06
  Back it up.
• 6:07
  The wedding?
• 6:07
  Not in a weird way.
• 6:09
  Janune and I are just friends.
• 6:11
  I don't know if I want this baby.
• 6:13
  Okay, it's a little late for that.
• 6:15
  You're making me mad.
• 6:16
  Now that I know this baby's half you.
• 6:18
  Maruna, listen to me.
• 6:22
  Oh, I'm sorry.
• 6:23
  I'm just angry.
• 6:23
  Look, just trust me, okay?
• 6:24
  You trusted me all this time.
• 6:29
  Remember when I said, when I proposed to you, and I was like,
• 6:32
  I will spend my life making sure everything for you works out
• 6:39
  the best of my ability.
• 6:40
  It was nice.
• 6:41
  It seems like a loophole now that I think about it.
• 6:43
  No, no, no.
• 6:44
  This is me doing that.
• 6:46
  Trust me.
• 6:46
  I don't know.
• 6:47
  I don't trust Doug.
• 6:47
  Doug's not a doctor.
• 6:49
  Doug is.
• 6:50
  Doug's cool.
• 6:51
  No, no.
• 6:51
  He's.
• 6:52
  He's got.
• 6:52
  He grew up on a farm.
• 6:54
  Tremors.
• 6:54
  yeah but that's okay he's not doing surgery
• 6:57
  he's pulling the what if he what if the
• 6:59
  what if
• 7:01
  on the way out he shakes it
• 7:03
  on accident because of the tremors
• 7:04
  he doesn't tremor that hard babe
• 7:07
  you're right
• 7:07
  just trust me on this one please babe
• 7:13
  okay but if
• 7:15
  anything goes wrong
• 7:16
  I'm picking all the movies
• 7:19
  deal
• 7:21
  cut to Doug's
• 7:24
  Douglas
• 7:25
  Hey
• 7:27
  I want to go home
• 7:29
  Someone's having a baby
• 7:31
  No actually I just
• 7:33
  It's gas I've realized
• 7:34
  No you're at Doug's now
• 7:36
  Doug can tell
• 7:37
  Douglas
• 7:40
  Babe just listen to him okay
• 7:42
  I'm trying but the voice
• 7:44
  Okay that's a low blow
• 7:46
  I can't do anything about my voice
• 7:48
  Give me some leeway here
• 7:50
  Just come on lie down
• 7:52
  On my futon
• 7:53
  a fucking futon
• 7:55
  yeah it's a futon
• 7:57
  futons are great
• 7:59
  they get a bad rap
• 8:00
  they double as a couch
• 8:03
  and a bed and a place to give birth
• 8:06
  do you sleep on this
• 8:08
  let's not worry about that right now
• 8:12
  okay we running out of time did you wash your hands hands Yeah yeah they good Let me see them Hold them up Look Look look Clean
• 8:24
  Just, just come on.
• 8:26
  Glide on.
• 8:26
  There's plastic already on the futon.
• 8:28
  Oh, God.
• 8:28
  I'm squatting.
• 8:29
  Babe, you're doing so good.
• 8:30
  You're doing so good, babe.
• 8:31
  Okay.
• 8:32
  No Rafiki stuff, okay?
• 8:34
  No.
• 8:35
  Marina, I'm here with you the whole time, okay?
• 8:37
  Okay.
• 8:38
  All right.
• 8:39
  Uh-oh.
• 8:40
  So, just imagine.
• 8:42
  Okay.
• 8:43
  I birthed a lot of foals.
• 8:46
  What?
• 8:47
  Foal?
• 8:47
  Foals.
• 8:48
  Foal?
• 8:48
  Foals.
• 8:50
  What?
• 8:51
  Foals.
• 8:52
  What's he saying?
• 8:54
  He's saying foals, babe.
• 8:56
  Foal?
• 8:57
  Foals.
• 8:58
  What the hell are we talking about?
• 9:00
  Foal?
• 9:02
  Yeah, I think he means like a baby horse.
• 9:05
  You've birthed a horse?
• 9:06
  A lot of them.
• 9:08
  Oh, that actually makes me feel a little better, Doug.
• 9:12
  Yeah.
• 9:13
  God, I told you.
• 9:14
  It was going to be great.
• 9:15
  All right.
• 9:15
  I feel less anxious.
• 9:17
  All right.
• 9:17
  So stand on the futon.
• 9:19
  Stand?
• 9:20
  That's how the horses do it.
• 9:23
  Unstable.
• 9:23
  Oh, well.
• 9:26
  You're doing great.
• 9:28
  Okay.
• 9:29
  And I'll just stand here and wait for the baby to fall out.
• 9:33
  What the hell?
• 9:33
  You're not even going to do anything?
• 9:35
  That's how it works with the horses.
• 9:37
  It just kind of happens.
• 9:39
  Excuse me.
• 9:41
  That's okay.
• 9:41
  Weird stuff happens when you're giving birth.
• 9:43
  Doug, I want you in there.
• 9:45
  All right.
• 9:46
  Put a long glove on.
• 9:47
  Long glove.
• 9:49
  I got...
• 9:50
  Snap.
• 9:52
  Snap.
• 9:53
  Is that on my arm?
• 9:54
  Yep.
• 9:54
  All right.
• 9:54
  Okay.
• 9:56
  All right.
• 9:56
  Get it.
• 9:58
  It's okay, babe.
• 9:59
  I'm totally comfortable.
• 9:59
  I'm totally comfortable.
• 10:01
  Go talk to Janoon.
• 10:02
  Okay.
• 10:03
  Sorry.
• 10:03
  Sorry.
• 10:04
  Don't keep bringing that up, okay?
• 10:05
  I've got to.
• 10:06
  Maruna, you're the only one for me.
• 10:08
  Okay.
• 10:08
  All right.
• 10:09
  Now, use that anger at your husband.
• 10:11
  bear down all right i'm getting i'm going i'm going so deep
• 10:15
  oh oh oh what i oh oh can i use you as a puppet just kidding just kidding
• 10:24
  oh no need okay it's good to laugh a little full birthing humor yeah okay
• 10:28
  can you hear it
• 10:34
  here it comes
• 10:35
  oh my god
• 10:39
  he's beautiful
• 10:40
  oh crap my tremors
• 10:43
  what no
• 10:44
  where'd he go
• 10:58
  you