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Episode #3958 The New Phil Hendrie Show Radfio Archive Hour · The World of Phil Hendrie

0:00
Speaker 1: Yes, this is General Galen Shaw for the world-famous Phil
0:02
Speaker 1: Henry Show merch store. Now, I went over there looking
0:05
Speaker 1: for something that I wanted to get my nephew. He's
0:09
Speaker 1: 16 years old, and he thinks he's all this in
0:11
Speaker 1: a bag of, you know, in a bunch of pork rinds.
0:13
Speaker 1: So I went over and I got him a Ted
0:15
Speaker 1: Bell bowling shirt, and he looked at me like I
0:18
Speaker 1: was something that dropped right out of the.
0:22
Speaker 3: I'll do it.
0:23
Speaker 4: Get a backstage pass to the world-famous Phil Henry Show.
0:25
Speaker 4: A bowling shirt is a wonderful thing to get for
0:28
Speaker 4: your husband, your boyfriend, your 16-year-old son might like the
0:32
Speaker 4: Ted's of Beverly Hills hoodie or the Jay Santos Citizens
0:36
Speaker 4: Auxiliary Police, you know, T-shirt or the B & B
0:40
Speaker 4: construction hoodie or the shot glass.
0:43
Speaker 5: Yeah.
0:43
Speaker 3: Well, let's not get 16-year-old kids shot glasses.
0:46
Speaker 5: Well, you know what I'm saying.
0:47
Speaker 3: No, I know what you're saying. There's lots there for everybody.
0:49
Speaker 1: There's a lot there for the whole family. Oh, yeah,
0:51
Speaker 1: for the whole family, yeah.
0:52
Speaker 3: Okay, there's lots there. Pick something out. Pick what out?
0:57
Speaker 1: Pick something out. Just in time for Christmas, man, like
1:01
Speaker 1: two months off at philhenryshow.com, our merch store, and of
1:05
Speaker 1: course our backstage pass. philhenryshow.com, the greatest value online other
1:09
Speaker 1: than porn. Hey, welcome to today's Featured Radio Archive Hour
1:13
Speaker 1: here from the Hall of Fame Phil Henry Radio Show
1:16
Speaker 1: and our website philhenryshow.com. And we have Ted Bell from
1:20
Speaker 1: October of 1999, the very first month that we were
1:22
Speaker 1: in national syndication and this is ted bell and i
1:26
Speaker 1: mentioned on the show that i don't play a lot
1:28
Speaker 1: of golf and i don't anymore but i did play
1:31
Speaker 1: for a while for a few years before i threw
1:33
Speaker 1: my back out but just around this time i had
1:37
Speaker 1: kind of messed my back up so i was i
1:39
Speaker 1: you know out of the game and i'm asking about
1:40
Speaker 1: handicaps and i'm asking about gross scores and here's ted
1:43
Speaker 1: talking about what a hot fantastic golfer he is when
1:47
Speaker 1: in point of fact he shot like a 90 so
1:50
Speaker 1: listen to this listen to ted He's Ted Bell. He
1:52
Speaker 1: thinks he's great.
1:53
Speaker 3: No, he isn't.
1:54
Speaker 1: And lots of golfers call in and try to set
1:57
Speaker 1: him straight, but it's Ted.
1:59
Speaker 3: Ted Bell is with us. Ted is.
2:02
Speaker 1: I guess we're celebrating, Ted, your new membership out there
2:05
Speaker 1: at Dinego Creek, huh?
2:07
Speaker 5: Well, you know something, Phil, I guess everybody says... Somebody's
2:10
Speaker 5: got to do it. I'm really happy, though, and I
2:12
Speaker 5: thank you. It's an exciting course. It's a beautiful course.
2:14
Speaker 5: Had a wonderful time out there today.
2:16
Speaker 3: Denega Creek is over near the beach.
2:19
Speaker 5: Over near Marina Del Rey, right. Beautiful new course, 6,933 yards,
2:22
Speaker 5: par 72, very, very devilishly trapped.
2:28
Speaker 3: When you say devilishly trapped, you mean that sand traps
2:31
Speaker 3: are placed?
2:31
Speaker 5: The sand traps are placed strategically. You've got sand traps
2:35
Speaker 5: over there around the first hole. It's amazing. It's like
2:40
Speaker 5: a 520-yard par 5. You've got sand traps all around
2:44
Speaker 5: the green there. It's really guarded beautifully. You've got pot bunkers,
2:47
Speaker 5: and a pot bunker is kind of a deep, sandy bunker, Phil,
2:49
Speaker 5: along the right side of the fairway. There is no way,
2:54
Speaker 5: no way you get on this thing in three. I
2:56
Speaker 5: can tell you that. Just an amazing, amazing course.
2:59
Speaker 3: Can I ask you a personal question?
3:02
Speaker 5: Bill, by all means, go ahead. Now I'm crossing my fingers. No, no,
3:06
Speaker 5: I just, it's... If it has something to do with,
3:10
Speaker 5: if it has anything to do with the restaurant business.
3:12
Speaker 1: No, but by the way, Ted owns Ted's at Beverly
3:15
Speaker 1: Hills Steakhouse. Now, how much did it cost?
3:18
Speaker 5: To join the club?
3:18
Speaker 3: Yeah.
3:19
Speaker 5: It was $ 35, 000. 35 Gs.
3:20
Speaker 3: Got to pay that all up front.
3:23
Speaker 5: Yeah, and we got $ 700 a month. that we pay,
3:28
Speaker 5: but obviously it's not for everybody. If you've got the
3:33
Speaker 5: money that you can afford to play in a course
3:36
Speaker 5: like that, I play a lot of golf. I play
3:38
Speaker 5: a lot of golf. I guess what I need to do,
3:39
Speaker 5: I'm not a weekend duffer, I'm not a weekend hacker
3:41
Speaker 5: or anything, and I think if you're just a weekend golfer,
3:44
Speaker 5: I don't think it's worth the expenditure, Phil, but when
3:47
Speaker 5: you play a lot of golf, as I do, and
3:49
Speaker 5: that's a place where you cut business deals. Okay.
3:54
Speaker 1: I've heard it said a lot of guys go golfing, and,
3:55
Speaker 1: you know, people go out on the golf.
3:57
Speaker 3: Course to do business.
3:58
Speaker 5: Yeah. Well, that is where million-dollar deals are cut, my friend.
4:02
Speaker 5: Million-dollar deals are cut out on the golf course. And
4:06
Speaker 5: if you're a golfer and you're a good golfer and
4:08
Speaker 5: you've got it in you to join a private club,
4:10
Speaker 5: I realize it's a lot of money for most people,
4:12
Speaker 5: but if you can put the shekels together, I can
4:15
Speaker 5: tell you something. It's a million-dollar deal. Let me tell
4:17
Speaker 5: you what happened today because I was out with Bruce Sutton.
4:19
Speaker 5: You know Bruce?
4:20
Speaker 3: Bruce is the guy that does the... Boy, you've got
4:22
Speaker 3: some great seafood at your restaurant. He's your supplier, right?
4:24
Speaker 5: Bruce is my seafood supplier. So I said to him,
4:27
Speaker 5: and we had a little side bet. Now listen to this.
4:30
Speaker 5: I said 5% off the cost of seafood for this year.
4:32
Speaker 5: If I go out, I beat you straight up. And
4:34
Speaker 5: he said to me, he said, I tell you what,
4:36
Speaker 5: if you can beat me, you get a lower score
4:39
Speaker 5: than me playing partner of my choice. So I'm going
4:43
Speaker 5: to be playing against two people, okay? If I can
4:45
Speaker 5: beat the score of both of these people, not the
4:48
Speaker 5: combined score, but if I just beat both of them,
4:51
Speaker 5: five percent off of the cost of my seafood at
4:53
Speaker 5: the restaurant this year, okay? So, Phil, you know me.
4:56
Speaker 5: I love to golf. I feel pretty confident when it
4:59
Speaker 5: comes to my golf game.
5:00
Speaker 1: I've played you once. Now, I don't play a lot
5:02
Speaker 1: of golf. I've played you once, and you've got it going.
5:06
Speaker 1: I'm a lousy golfer, so it's very difficult for me
5:08
Speaker 1: to tell, okay? But I've played you, and you certainly
5:11
Speaker 1: are confident, and I appreciate that.
5:13
Speaker 5: Well, I play a good game of golf. I love
5:15
Speaker 5: the game. I'm very, very competitive. Some people don't like
5:19
Speaker 5: to play with me because I take every shot very,
5:21
Speaker 5: very seriously. And when I go out on the golf course,
5:24
Speaker 5: I'm not messing around. Okay, some people like to go
5:28
Speaker 5: out there. They'll have a beer. They go out there.
5:30
Speaker 5: I don't mess around on a golf course at all,
5:32
Speaker 5: especially when I've got a money bet going on. Now,
5:34
Speaker 5: Bruce comes out there, so he showed up this morning
5:36
Speaker 5: at Denega Creek, and I said, look, I've got a
5:39
Speaker 5: new membership. We'll play my place. You come on out
5:43
Speaker 5: and bring out your playing partner. Guess who he brings out?
5:46
Speaker 3: I have no idea.
5:47
Speaker 5: He brings out his sister. I've never met this girl.
5:50
Speaker 5: Her name's Darcy Sutton. Darcy plays, and I guess this
5:54
Speaker 5: was supposed to scare me, okay? She plays collegiate level.
5:58
Speaker 5: She plays for the CSUN golf team.
6:01
Speaker 3: Oh, he brought a ringer, huh?
6:03
Speaker 5: Well, he thought he brought a ringer. But again, I
6:06
Speaker 5: play enough golf with him, he should have known better.
6:09
Speaker 5: So he brings his sister out there. And I guess
6:12
Speaker 5: that's supposed to scare me because she plays collegiate-level golf,
6:15
Speaker 5: but I think something we all need to keep in
6:17
Speaker 5: mind is women do not have the upper body strength
6:19
Speaker 5: that men have. You're not going to get the kind
6:21
Speaker 5: of drives off that a man's going to get off. Now,
6:23
Speaker 5: I will tell you this, because she does play collegiate-level golf.
6:26
Speaker 5: She was playing on the men's tees. We played the
6:28
Speaker 5: blue championship tees, Phil, as you know. Right. And she
6:31
Speaker 5: played back with us.
6:33
Speaker 1: So she's a championship golfer, whether it's a woman or whoever.
6:36
Speaker 1: They're not going to play the ladies' tees. I mean,
6:38
Speaker 1: I've seen the women out there, the pros, man. They're
6:40
Speaker 1: playing those big tees.
6:41
Speaker 5: Well, you know, it doesn't matter to me, okay, because
6:43
Speaker 5: Sutton comes out here. He says to me, yeah, I
6:45
Speaker 5: got my sister. She plays collegiate. I said, hi, Darcy.
6:47
Speaker 5: How are you doing? She's a young lady. She's about 19.
6:50
Speaker 5: She's got that look, you know, a lot of these
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Speaker 5: women golfers have got. I don't know what you want
6:54
Speaker 5: to call it, a little bit masculine looking, but she's– Well,
6:57
Speaker 5: is she muscled? Yeah, she's got the big legs and
6:59
Speaker 5: all of that. So I said, well, that's fine. So
7:01
Speaker 5: I said, hello, how are you doing, everything else? So
7:04
Speaker 5: this really makes me funny, and I want to tell
7:06
Speaker 5: you something. It makes me laugh. I want to tell
7:07
Speaker 5: you something. Some people can't take it that I'm a
7:13
Speaker 5: better golfer than them. And some people can't stand the
7:17
Speaker 5: fact that I just play a better game of golf
7:19
Speaker 5: than them, and they really get upset. And I really
7:21
Speaker 5: saw this happen today. I got out there today, and
7:24
Speaker 5: I played lights out. I mean, I ripped that course
7:28
Speaker 5: a new one. And I played lights out. We step
7:31
Speaker 5: up to the first tee. So there's Suttonville, right? Yeah.
7:34
Speaker 5: And he's standing there. He says, my sister's here, collegiate level, yada, yada, yada.
7:39
Speaker 5: And I said, you know something, Bruce, if you're serious,
7:42
Speaker 5: you better back that down a few notches, okay? Don't
7:45
Speaker 5: bang that banjo. Because I'm here and I'm serious, and
7:48
Speaker 5: he knows better than that. And I don't know why
7:50
Speaker 5: he's trying to rattle me. So I ripped off, Bill,
7:52
Speaker 5: my first drive. I cracked this thing about 180. I
7:55
Speaker 5: took out that new Jones wood that I've got. I
7:57
Speaker 5: don't know. You got a new driver? I got a
7:59
Speaker 5: new driver. I cracked it about 180 yards. I mean,
8:00
Speaker 5: I laid into this thing straight down the middle, 170
8:02
Speaker 5: to 180 yards.
8:02
Speaker 3: So we went out.
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Speaker 5: We golfed. End of day, end of story. I beat
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Speaker 5: Baby Sister, okay? I beat Baby Sister by a stroke,
8:24
Speaker 5: and I beat Bruce by three strokes.
8:27
Speaker 3: What was the final on the day? Now, this is
8:29
Speaker 3: a par 72. Par 72.
8:30
Speaker 5: I parred the course, Phil. I had a gross 95,
8:34
Speaker 5: and I had a net 72. She had a gross
8:36
Speaker 5: 76 and a net 73. He had a gross 80
8:39
Speaker 5: and a net 75. Okay, now, you've got to slow.
8:41
Speaker 3: Down because I don't know what it means, gross, net.
8:43
Speaker 5: Well, it's not important, all right? I just had a
8:46
Speaker 5: gross 95, but I beat her by a stroke. I
8:49
Speaker 5: beat baby sister, the college golfer. OK, by a stroke.
8:54
Speaker 5: And I beat Big Mouth Sutton by three strokes. We
8:57
Speaker 5: go into the bar afterwards. We've got we're having a
9:00
Speaker 5: few drinks. And I said to him, I said, you
9:02
Speaker 5: know something, you know how serious I am. You know
9:05
Speaker 5: how good I am. Why would you bring anybody out here,
9:08
Speaker 5: especially a 19 year old woman, and think that you're
9:11
Speaker 5: going to beat me? And I guess I kind of
9:13
Speaker 5: piled it on a little bit. And we had a
9:15
Speaker 5: couple of drinks, and he got upset. He's talking about
9:18
Speaker 5: reneging the bet and everything else. And I walked out
9:20
Speaker 5: of there saying to myself, you know, Ted, some people
9:23
Speaker 5: can't stand the fact that you're just a great golfer.
9:25
Speaker 5: And I ripped this place an ass, Phil.
9:27
Speaker 3: Okay, so you beat her. She had the gross, the net.
9:31
Speaker 5: Well, you know, don't worry about the gross. She had
9:32
Speaker 5: a gross 76. She had a net 73. I had
9:34
Speaker 5: a gross 95 and a net 72. And he had
9:37
Speaker 5: a gross 80 and a net 75.
9:38
Speaker 3: Well, what does that mean?
9:40
Speaker 5: What does what mean?
9:40
Speaker 3: What does gross mean?
9:42
Speaker 5: Well, that's your score, but the most important score is
9:45
Speaker 5: your net score. Okay? There's gross and there's net.
9:48
Speaker 3: You had a gross 95.
9:49
Speaker 5: But that's not important. I had a net 72. I
9:52
Speaker 5: ripped this course a new ass. She had a gross 76,
9:55
Speaker 5: a net 73, had a gross 80, a net 75.
9:57
Speaker 5: I told her when I got off the course, I'm done.
10:00
Speaker 5: a better golfer than you, Bruce, and I'm sorry to
10:03
Speaker 5: say this, but I'm a better golfer than your little
10:05
Speaker 5: collegiate-level golfer sister here with her gross 76, net 73.
10:10
Speaker 5: So they got upset.
10:12
Speaker 1: I need to take a break here, okay? So what,
10:14
Speaker 1: have you lost a friendship.
10:15
Speaker 3: Over this thing?
10:16
Speaker 5: Well, apparently he wants to renege on the bet. And
10:19
Speaker 5: I ripped this course in the ass. And I kicked
10:22
Speaker 5: both of their asses. And I mean, you know, I
10:25
Speaker 5: don't think I've ever played a better round of golf.
10:27
Speaker 1: All right, hold the line here. Phil Henry Show, Ted
10:29
Speaker 1: Bell is on the line talking to us about his
10:31
Speaker 1: outing at Denega Creek today, which is a brand-new course
10:33
Speaker 1: out there near the marina.
10:35
Speaker 3: And what did he have?
10:38
Speaker 5: Gross 95, net 72.
10:38
Speaker 1: Did you write that down, Mike? She had a gross 76,
10:42
Speaker 1: and that's 73. Bruce had a gross 80, and that's 75.
10:47
Speaker 1: So Ted beat her by a stroke and beat him
10:51
Speaker 1: by three strokes. Talking golf here on the Phil Henry Show.
10:59
Speaker 1: Phil Henry Show at 1-800-449-8686. Ted Bell is with us.
11:04
Speaker 1: Ted owns Ted's Beverly Hills Steakhouse. Just got a new
11:06
Speaker 1: membership at Denega Creek, which is a brand-new course out
11:10
Speaker 1: near Marina Del Rey. I've got to tell you something, man.
11:12
Speaker 1: My hat's off to you. I wish I, you know.
11:14
Speaker 5: Well, you know, Phil, you can come on anytime you
11:16
Speaker 5: want to come out and play. Anytime. You can come
11:20
Speaker 5: on out, take a look at the course.
11:21
Speaker 3: No, I just think it's really cool, man, that you
11:22
Speaker 3: can afford a membership like that.
11:24
Speaker 1: It's $ 35K. It's way beyond my means, brother. But if
11:27
Speaker 1: you can lay that down in one lump sum.
11:28
Speaker 5: Well, it's important for business, Phil. I've had a lot
11:31
Speaker 5: of success in business. I do have the kind of
11:33
Speaker 5: money that affords me the opportunity to play a championship
11:37
Speaker 5: course like this. And the fact that I, I mean,
11:40
Speaker 5: I kick Bruce Sutton's ass, but the fact that he'd
11:43
Speaker 5: bring out his sister and say to me she's a
11:45
Speaker 5: collegiate-level golfer, and that's supposed to scare me, and I
11:50
Speaker 5: wind up beating her by a stroke. I mean, I
11:52
Speaker 5: parred this course, okay, and I wind up beating him
11:55
Speaker 5: by three strokes, and it's just a beautiful day all
11:57
Speaker 5: the way around. And, you know, some people cannot handle
12:02
Speaker 5: the fact that you're just good, you know, because.
12:04
Speaker 1: Well, your main thing is that this guy doesn't want
12:06
Speaker 1: to pay off the bet.
12:08
Speaker 5: That's exactly what he said. And he says, I'm rubbing
12:10
Speaker 5: it in, and he says that I'm not that good. And, hey,
12:12
Speaker 5: how can you not be that good? I said, I
12:15
Speaker 5: took your kid's sister, the collegiate-level golfer, and I kicked
12:18
Speaker 5: her ass all around the course, okay? And I cracked off.
12:22
Speaker 5: I was cracking off drives. You know that big Bertha
12:24
Speaker 5: that I got?
12:25
Speaker 3: That's that new wood?
12:26
Speaker 5: Yeah, you've got to go to this Bertha because it
12:28
Speaker 5: will give me another 25 yards on my drive. I
12:30
Speaker 5: cracked one on that par 5. There's a par 5
12:32
Speaker 5: on the back 9, the 15th hole over water. And
12:36
Speaker 5: I cracked this thing 180 yards because that berth will
12:39
Speaker 5: give you another 25 yards easy. So I don't know
12:42
Speaker 5: what they're talking about.
12:43
Speaker 3: All right, well, hold the line here. 1-800-449-8686. Talk a
12:47
Speaker 3: little bit of golf. Sad about paying Stewart, too.
12:50
Speaker 5: Absolutely, Phil. What a tragedy. And my heart goes out
12:53
Speaker 5: to the family. He was a tremendous champion.
12:55
Speaker 3: Let's go to Santa Ana on the Phil Henry Show. Hello.
12:58
Speaker 5: Hello. Yes, sir.
12:59
Speaker 6: Hi.
12:59
Speaker 7: Hi. I'm calling about the caller, about his score.
13:03
Speaker 3: About his score?
13:04
Speaker 7: He shot a 95?
13:05
Speaker 5: I shot a 72.
13:07
Speaker 7: And you said 95, though, right?
13:09
Speaker 5: I shot a gross 95. I shot a 72 net.
13:11
Speaker 7: So what's your handicap?
13:12
Speaker 6: Like 23, and she's got to beat you by 24 strokes?
13:16
Speaker 5: Well, that's not the point. Yeah, it is. The point
13:18
Speaker 5: is that I kicked her ass.
13:19
Speaker 7: You lost your bet, dude.
13:19
Speaker 5: No, I didn't lose my bet. I beat her net 72.
13:21
Speaker 5: She had a 73. What is a handicap?
13:27
Speaker 7: Like an allowance.
13:28
Speaker 3: It's a what, sir?
13:29
Speaker 7: Like an allowance.
13:30
Speaker 6: He's allowed 23 strokes off his score.
13:34
Speaker 3: You're allowed 23 strokes?
13:36
Speaker 5: No, but that's not important. The most important score.
13:39
Speaker 6: And most people drive at least 250, 300 yards.
13:42
Speaker 7: What's your 180?
13:43
Speaker 5: Where do you play?
13:44
Speaker 7: I play over a ridgeline.
13:46
Speaker 5: That's not a private course.
13:47
Speaker 7: Who cares? It's still golf.
13:49
Speaker 5: It's still not a private course. We're talking about Dinega Creek,
13:52
Speaker 5: my friend. 6,933 yards, it'll rip your new ass. Whoop-de-doo. Huh?
13:56
Speaker 7: Whoop-de-doo.
13:57
Speaker 5: What do you mean, whoop-de-doo? Have you played a private course?
14:01
Speaker 7: No, I don't need to.
14:02
Speaker 5: There's a lot of pot bunkers, okay? I don't know
14:04
Speaker 5: if you've ever come up against a pot bunker.
14:06
Speaker 6: I'll go pay my four bucks and play 18 rounds.
14:09
Speaker 5: It doesn't have any pot bunkers. It doesn't have water.
14:12
Speaker 7: Sure they do.
14:13
Speaker 5: Lots of water. Well, they don't have pot bunkers.
14:15
Speaker 3: What is a pot bunker?
14:16
Speaker 5: She beat your butt. How do you figure she beat
14:19
Speaker 5: my butt? Wait a minute.
14:20
Speaker 3: Can I just jump in?
14:21
Speaker 5: Sure.
14:21
Speaker 1: How do you figure she beat him? Because he had
14:23
Speaker 1: a 72. She had a 73.
14:24
Speaker 5: She shot a 76, correct? She had a gross 76. Okay.
14:30
Speaker 3: What does that mean, 76, 73? You say a gross 76?
14:33
Speaker 6: She had a handicap of three.
14:36
Speaker 3: She had a three handicap?
14:37
Speaker 7: So whatever your score is, you take three off it,
14:39
Speaker 7: like taxes. Gross and net.
14:41
Speaker 5: Look it. If you know anything about golf, look, she's
14:45
Speaker 5: a woman. The thing that Bruce did. No, but wait
14:48
Speaker 5: a minute.
14:48
Speaker 3: Wait a minute.
14:49
Speaker 5: No, the thing that he brings down his girl. Hey, wait. Whoa.
14:52
Speaker 5: He brings his sister out like this is going to
14:55
Speaker 5: scare me?
14:56
Speaker 3: Well, she's a collegiate-level golfer.
14:58
Speaker 5: I don't care. I beat her. I beat a collegiate-level golfer.
15:00
Speaker 5: Let me tell you something. I could have gone.
15:01
Speaker 7: Yeah, because you had a bigger handicap.
15:04
Speaker 1: So you're saying that he had a 23 handicap and
15:06
Speaker 1: she had a 3. That means that Bruce had a,
15:08
Speaker 1: what's he shooting, a 5?
15:09
Speaker 5: What is that? He says he's got a five handicap.
15:12
Speaker 5: She's got a three handicap.
15:14
Speaker 1: You've got a 23? The gentleman in Santa Ana is 23.
15:17
Speaker 1: Is that a very good handicap?
15:19
Speaker 7: That's a bad one. That means you're a bad golfer.
15:22
Speaker 7: So you need a greater handicap.
15:24
Speaker 5: I ripped that place an ass. I ripped it an ass.
15:28
Speaker 5: And 23 handicap.
15:29
Speaker 7: And you say your drive was 180 yards?
15:32
Speaker 5: I pulled out the Bertha.
15:34
Speaker 7: What was her drive?
15:36
Speaker 5: I don't know what her drive was. I mean, first
15:38
Speaker 5: of all, number one, okay.
15:41
Speaker 7: Sounds like you're doing a lot of walking that day.
15:43
Speaker 5: Huh?
15:44
Speaker 7: Sounds like you're doing a lot of walking that day.
15:45
Speaker 3: Yeah, how far did she drive it?
15:47
Speaker 5: Phil, I'm not measuring her drives, okay?
15:48
Speaker 1: Well, who was going first all day long there out
15:52
Speaker 1: on the fairway?
15:53
Speaker 5: I don't remember, Phil. Well, you can laugh if you
15:56
Speaker 5: want to, okay? But I had an astounding day. There's
15:59
Speaker 5: nothing you can say, okay? I grabbed Big Bertha. I
16:02
Speaker 5: gripped it. I ripped it. 180, baby. Read it and weep, okay?
16:05
Speaker 5: Grip it and rip it.
16:07
Speaker 1: That's that new wood that you got that I've heard about.
16:09
Speaker 5: You better believe it. Rip it, rip it, read it,
16:12
Speaker 5: and weep. 180, you the man.
16:14
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, I don't know, okay? You're just going
16:17
Speaker 1: to have to help me through these things. San Antonio
16:19
Speaker 1: on the Phil Henry Show.
16:19
Speaker 5: Hello.
16:20
Speaker 2: This call absolutely has to be a joke.
16:24
Speaker 8: Where is this guy coming from?
16:25
Speaker 5: What are you talking about? Where am I coming from? Buddy,
16:28
Speaker 5: I went out today and I stepped all over. I
16:30
Speaker 5: was a monster out there.
16:32
Speaker 8: And you're giving a chick 23 strokes?
16:35
Speaker 5: I was not giving, no, excuse me, excuse me. I
16:37
Speaker 5: was not giving her 23 strokes.
16:40
Speaker 8: She's what?
16:40
Speaker 5: She's a three-year-old?
16:41
Speaker 3: She's giving him 23 strokes.
16:43
Speaker 5: Yeah, she's not giving me 23 strokes. And she whooped you.
16:46
Speaker 8: You're talking about the distance doesn't matter.
16:48
Speaker 5: You go out there hitting 180.
16:50
Speaker 8: I'm hitting 180 with a six and a five iron.
16:53
Speaker 5: Hey, wait a second. Where do you golf?
16:55
Speaker 8: Where do I golf? All over San Antonio. What the
16:57
Speaker 8: hell does that matter?
16:58
Speaker 5: I want to know whether you're in a private course
17:01
Speaker 5: or in a public course.
17:02
Speaker 8: A tee box is a tee box, and distance is distance.
17:04
Speaker 5: Hey, brother, yeah, but you....
17:08
Speaker 8: Your $ 35, 000 course is probably much smoother than what my
17:11
Speaker 8: public course is.
17:13
Speaker 5: My course, okay, number one, is more devilishly trapped. We
17:17
Speaker 5: got a lot of jail on the right side. We
17:19
Speaker 5: got a lot of sand around the greens. We got
17:22
Speaker 5: a lot of water on those par threes. And you
17:24
Speaker 5: spent $ 35, 000 and you suck.
17:26
Speaker 8: Why do you have to be so arrogant?
17:28
Speaker 5: Let me ask you something. Why can't you just accept
17:30
Speaker 5: the fact that I'm a good golfer? You're teeing off
17:33
Speaker 5: on inferior tee boxes, number one. Because you're arrogant. I'm arrogant?
17:37
Speaker 8: Nobody would care if you had a 23 handicap if
17:39
Speaker 8: you were nice about it. But you're arrogant as hell,
17:41
Speaker 8: and you suck.
17:42
Speaker 5: No, wait a second. I suck. I beat her. If
17:44
Speaker 5: you suck, then you're such a jerk.
17:45
Speaker 8: Maybe they wouldn't care.
17:46
Speaker 5: Take a look at the scorecard. I beat her by
17:48
Speaker 5: a stroke.
17:48
Speaker 7: That's exactly right.
17:49
Speaker 5: Look at the scorecard. You're getting a handicap. Hey, wait
17:53
Speaker 5: a second. It's all welfare.
17:55
Speaker 8: Give me a freaking break.
17:56
Speaker 5: What are you talking about? Hey, I went out there. Hello? Yeah.
18:00
Speaker 5: Hang up okay in San Antonio, all right? Go out
18:02
Speaker 5: and play those desert courts. You know, this is the thing.
18:05
Speaker 3: Now, hold on for a minute, all right?
18:06
Speaker 5: Listen to me. I parred the course. You hear what
18:09
Speaker 5: I'm saying? I don't know.
18:10
Speaker 3: What does that mean?
18:10
Speaker 5: All right, the course, Phil, is a par 72. Par. Par.
18:16
Speaker 5: You understand what I'm saying? I parred the bloody course today.
18:20
Speaker 1: All right, hold on for just a second. Ted Bell
18:22
Speaker 1: is with us on the Phil Henry Show.
18:24
Speaker 3: Hi, Phil Henry here. Phil Henry Show at 1-800-449-8686.
18:30
Speaker 1: It's interesting talking about golf, and I keep reflecting back
18:33
Speaker 1: on Payne Stewart's tragic passing. I'd seen him in a
18:36
Speaker 1: few tournaments, and I want to get back to what
18:38
Speaker 1: you're talking about here, Ted.
18:41
Speaker 3: But first, Payne Stewart represented.
18:43
Speaker 5: Could I jump in and say that I was in
18:45
Speaker 5: a pro-am with Payne Stewart?
18:47
Speaker 3: You played with him?
18:47
Speaker 5: I did. I played in a foursome with Payne, and
18:50
Speaker 5: this was back in the days of the old Greater Greensboro.
18:55
Speaker 5: And I was back there on business... And I was
18:58
Speaker 5: at a point, I was very, very gratified, Phil, and
19:01
Speaker 5: I was very, very fortunate to have Payne Stewart compliment
19:05
Speaker 5: me on my golf.
19:07
Speaker 3: Really? What did he say?
19:09
Speaker 5: Well, he said, you know, he was a very low-key guy.
19:11
Speaker 5: He wasn't prone to, you know, to hitting it too hard.
19:15
Speaker 5: But I ripped off a couple of good drives that day.
19:19
Speaker 5: I sunk a few serious putts for our foursome. And
19:23
Speaker 5: he kind of gave me the thumbs up, so... I'm
19:26
Speaker 5: very happy, I guess, to say, Phil, that I've had
19:29
Speaker 5: the endorsement at least at one time in my life
19:32
Speaker 5: of Payne Stewart.
19:33
Speaker 1: Now, can I get back to this thing about handicaps?
19:35
Speaker 1: Because I don't know what a handicap is. I'm not
19:38
Speaker 1: that serious a golfer, and a lot of people don't know.
19:40
Speaker 5: It's really not important. By the way, I want to
19:43
Speaker 5: also mention something. Payne Stewart said that if I really,
19:46
Speaker 5: really practiced, I'd have a lot of potential. Now, that
19:50
Speaker 5: is a compliment. All of these weekend hackers that are
19:54
Speaker 5: calling in, all these weekend duffers, all these big shots
19:58
Speaker 5: that are calling in and telling me that I don't
19:59
Speaker 5: know squat. You ever have Payne Stewart say to you
20:02
Speaker 5: that if you practiced real hard, you might have some potential?
20:06
Speaker 5: I don't think so. And I went out there today,
20:09
Speaker 5: I ripped an ass at Dinega Creek, read it and weep.
20:12
Speaker 1: All right, but getting back, and that is a very
20:15
Speaker 1: good compliment, but getting back to what we were talking about,
20:17
Speaker 1: the handicap.
20:18
Speaker 5: It's really not important, Phil.
20:19
Speaker 3: Because I don't understand anything a lot of people.
20:21
Speaker 5: No, the score to concentrate on is that net score, okay?
20:26
Speaker 5: That's 73, 72, 75. 72. I parred this course. Brand
20:30
Speaker 5: spanking new. Sam Teal design. Devilishly bunkered. Jail on the right.
20:36
Speaker 5: OB all over the place. I went out, tore it
20:40
Speaker 5: in half. And I'll tell you right now, Sam Teal
20:43
Speaker 5: is a friend of mine. He's a great golf guy.
20:45
Speaker 5: If that's the best you can do, Sam, if you're
20:47
Speaker 5: listening tonight, brother, have at it. Because I loved it. Oh, man,
20:52
Speaker 5: I loved it so much.
20:52
Speaker 3: Okay, 1-800-449-8686. Miami on the Phil Henry Show.
20:56
Speaker 1: Hello.
20:58
Speaker 5: Miami? Yeah, hello.
21:00
Speaker 3: Yes, sir, you're on the air.
21:02
Speaker 5: Yeah, I think your guess there is a little bit delusional.
21:07
Speaker 5: This is exactly what I'm talking about. I'm sorry? This
21:09
Speaker 5: is exactly what I'm talking about. When a guy goes
21:11
Speaker 5: out and plays a good round of golf. Yeah, but
21:14
Speaker 5: you didn't play a good round of golf, sir. Well,
21:16
Speaker 5: excuse me, sir, but I won. If you're saying that
21:18
Speaker 5: your gross score was 95, that means you're not that
21:21
Speaker 5: good a golfer. I parred the course with a 72. No,
21:24
Speaker 5: you didn't par the course. Someone gave you 23 strokes
21:27
Speaker 5: in order to take off your score.
21:28
Speaker 3: What is it? Are we back with a handicap?
21:31
Speaker 5: There are pros that can't par the course. I parred
21:34
Speaker 5: Dinega Creek today. No. Are you saying you're a scratch golfer?
21:40
Speaker 5: Am I a scratch golfer? I parred the course. Are
21:41
Speaker 5: you a scratch golfer? That means no handicap.
21:44
Speaker 3: What does scratch mean?
21:45
Speaker 5: It means you have no handicap. You play the course
21:49
Speaker 5: the way it's set up. You're confusing people when you
21:52
Speaker 5: talk about handicaps, and nobody cares about that. I won
21:55
Speaker 5: the bet. Actually, you didn't win the bet, and I
21:59
Speaker 5: can understand why your friend is very upset because he
22:02
Speaker 5: can't speak to you. You're probably worse when you have
22:06
Speaker 5: alcohol in you. We had a couple of cocktails. What
22:09
Speaker 5: are you telling me, a guy can't have a beer
22:10
Speaker 5: after a ride to golf? I'm not saying that. I'm
22:13
Speaker 5: not saying that, but you can't speak to me now.
22:16
Speaker 5: Guy owes me $ 5, 000. And he comes up with $ 5, 000. Yes, sir,
22:20
Speaker 5: he does. No, he doesn't. No, he doesn't. Were you there?
22:23
Speaker 5: Excuse me, were you there? I didn't have to be there.
22:25
Speaker 5: What do you mean you don't have to be there?
22:27
Speaker 5: I don't have to be there. If your handicap is 23,
22:30
Speaker 5: you're not a very good golfer, and I don't say
22:31
Speaker 5: that to insult you. That's just the case. Sir, someone's
22:34
Speaker 5: ass got kicked today, and it wasn't mine, okay? You
22:36
Speaker 5: didn't kick anybody's ass.
22:38
Speaker 1: Let me ask the gentleman, a 23 handicap you keep
22:41
Speaker 1: talking about in terms of Of Ted.
22:43
Speaker 5: It's not important, Bill.
22:45
Speaker 1: No, but what does that mean, a 23 handicap? Is
22:47
Speaker 1: that something like in bowling they give you a handicap?
22:50
Speaker 5: Exactly.
22:51
Speaker 3: So what does that mean?
22:55
Speaker 5: Excuse me. I am personally a tennis player. So if
22:58
Speaker 5: I were to play somebody and give them five games
23:01
Speaker 5: toward the first set and they happen to take a
23:03
Speaker 5: game off of me, does that make them a better
23:05
Speaker 5: tennis player? No, it doesn't. Your car phone broke up.
23:08
Speaker 5: We didn't hear that.
23:09
Speaker 3: I heard it fine.
23:10
Speaker 5: I couldn't hear it. Look, I did the ass-kicking. They
23:13
Speaker 5: did the ass-licking. No, sir. No, you didn't. Yes, sir. No, sir.
23:17
Speaker 5: I've gone out to a driving range. I'm not even
23:20
Speaker 5: a golfer, and I've hit 250-yard drives. 250-yard drives where?
23:24
Speaker 5: At a public course or a private course?
23:26
Speaker 9: At a public course.
23:27
Speaker 5: Okay, well, it's a totally different thing. I was at
23:29
Speaker 5: a completely private course. Why? Guard-gated. The ball flies through
23:32
Speaker 5: the air. It doesn't understand tracks. But you know as
23:35
Speaker 5: well as I do that at a private course, they
23:37
Speaker 5: are keeping that rough nice and thick, my friend. Nice
23:40
Speaker 5: and thick.
23:41
Speaker 1: Well, you said you hit your drive 180 yards.
23:45
Speaker 5: I hit the hell out of that ball because you're
23:48
Speaker 5: talking about some very thick rough.
23:50
Speaker 1: Yeah, but if you're hitting a drive, even I know,
23:52
Speaker 1: and I'm not a golfer, if you're hitting a drive,
23:53
Speaker 1: are you supposed to be hitting it.
23:54
Speaker 3: In the rough?
23:55
Speaker 5: No, you're supposed to be hitting it down the fairway.
23:58
Speaker 5: I nutted it. Now, whatever it bounces additionally, that counts
24:02
Speaker 5: toward the drive.
24:03
Speaker 3: You ripped it into the rough.
24:04
Speaker 5: You're only hitting 180-yard drives. You're not hitting it that far.
24:07
Speaker 5: I stopped some balls today. I would ask the gentleman,
24:10
Speaker 5: how far is your ball going to roll in rough? Okay,
24:13
Speaker 5: I rest my case. I rest my case. You're a
24:15
Speaker 5: tennis player.
24:16
Speaker 3: Okay, thank you for your call. People are calling in
24:19
Speaker 3: with this handy cam.
24:20
Speaker 1: What do you mean you cracked a 180-yard drive through rough?
24:22
Speaker 5: The ball is filled. When you go to a golf course,
24:25
Speaker 5: you're aware of the fact that there's rough, there's fairway.
24:27
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm aware of all of that.
24:28
Speaker 5: The ball's not going to run very freely through rough.
24:31
Speaker 5: All right? And the fact that I was able to
24:32
Speaker 5: get it out there, 180 yards.
24:34
Speaker 1: Get it out where, man? Did you hit it straight
24:36
Speaker 1: down the middle? Did you hit it off to the right?
24:38
Speaker 5: I smoked it. I smoked it.
24:40
Speaker 3: Yeah, you smoked it where? Was it in the rough?
24:44
Speaker 5: I caught some rough. I caught some rough. But I'm
24:47
Speaker 5: telling you, with that Bertha adding 25 yards to my drive, see,
24:53
Speaker 5: this is the point that I'm trying to make. People
24:55
Speaker 5: can't take the fact that I'm a good golfer.
24:58
Speaker 3: Okay.
24:58
Speaker 1: Let me go to some more phone calls here. Belvedere
25:01
Speaker 1: on the Phil Henry Show. Hello.
25:03
Speaker 5: Yes, hello.
25:04
Speaker 3: Yes, sir.
25:04
Speaker 5: Hi.
25:05
Speaker 2: I just wanted to make a comment. Anyone that is
25:08
Speaker 2: a 23 handicapped, is nowhere in the same league as
25:12
Speaker 2: somebody that's a three handicap as far as golf skill.
25:16
Speaker 2: And it's, you know, the gross score is what counts.
25:19
Speaker 2: Do you see pros out there where they say, oh,
25:22
Speaker 2: my net score was a 66 today? No, the gross
25:27
Speaker 2: score is a 66.
25:29
Speaker 5: That doesn't count.
25:30
Speaker 3: Do the pros play handicapped?
25:31
Speaker 5: Yes, they do. Yes, they do. What do you mean? No,
25:34
Speaker 5: they don't. I'm sorry, but what are you talking about?
25:38
Speaker 1: But I asked the question, do the pros play with
25:42
Speaker 1: a handicap?
25:43
Speaker 5: Yeah, of course they do. No, they don't. Where? The
25:46
Speaker 5: senior tour. Hello? What handicap? You've heard of the senior tour, right?
25:50
Speaker 5: I'm sure.
25:51
Speaker 3: They play with a handicap?
25:53
Speaker 5: They don't have any handicap. This proves the point that
25:56
Speaker 5: I've been trying to make, that when you're good, other
25:58
Speaker 5: people can't handle your success. Look, I only beat her
26:01
Speaker 5: by a stroke. You're not good. You're a hack. How
26:04
Speaker 5: do you figure that?
26:05
Speaker 2: You shot a 95.
26:06
Speaker 5: That's a hack. I told you that I cracked that drive, right?
26:12
Speaker 5: You're aware of that. Oh, yeah, right. 180 yards a drive?
26:18
Speaker 5: Maybe you're not familiar with Dinega Creek.
26:22
Speaker 8: Oh, it doesn't matter.
26:23
Speaker 5: Are you familiar with Dinega Creek? I've never heard of it.
26:26
Speaker 5: I don't need to see it. Hey, Bob Charles is left-handed, okay?
26:29
Speaker 5: That's a handicap. I mean, that poor kid Casey Martin,
26:34
Speaker 5: that's a handicap. We all have handicaps. No, those are
26:37
Speaker 5: physical handicaps, not golf handicaps.
26:41
Speaker 1: Well, I'm getting from people that you actually shot a 95.
26:45
Speaker 5: Bull crap.
26:46
Speaker 3: Well, that's what I'm hearing because the gross.
26:48
Speaker 5: You shot a 95. Bull crap I shot a 95.
26:50
Speaker 5: And you're a hack. I'm a hack, huh? You're a hack. Hey,
26:53
Speaker 5: I beat a college-level golfer by a.
26:55
Speaker 3: Yeah, you beat.
26:56
Speaker 5: You didn't beat him. You didn't beat him at all.
26:58
Speaker 5: You're a hack.
26:58
Speaker 3: Well, it was a girl, okay?
27:00
Speaker 5: Yeah, you need to point out that he brings this
27:03
Speaker 5: chick out.
27:04
Speaker 1: Well, it was Bob's sister, all right, and she plays
27:06
Speaker 1: college-level golf. with a three handicap, is that right?
27:09
Speaker 5: It's not important. Are you trying to tell me, don't
27:12
Speaker 5: hate me because I cracked open some ass today, sir. Okay?
27:15
Speaker 5: You didn't. You're a hack.
27:17
Speaker 2: You shot a 95.
27:21
Speaker 5: You know something? This is exactly the conversation I got
27:24
Speaker 5: into with Bruce. I said, you can't handle it, can you?
27:27
Speaker 5: And he's calling me all kinds of names. I whooped up, son.
27:30
Speaker 5: You didn't whoop anything. You're a hack. Okay.
27:34
Speaker 9: A hack.
27:35
Speaker 5: You know something, Phil? Don't even say that jokingly, all right?
27:38
Speaker 5: I play a hell of a lot of golf. I
27:40
Speaker 5: play more golf than you and this guy from wherever
27:43
Speaker 5: the hell he's from. Hey, buddy, let me tell you.
27:45
Speaker 5: When you come to.
27:46
Speaker 2: San Antonio, come down here with your 23 handicap, and
27:49
Speaker 2: you can play for whatever you want with me, buddy.
27:51
Speaker 5: I guarantee you. And what cow pasture do you play on?
27:55
Speaker 2: Any cow pasture you want around here is fine with me.
27:57
Speaker 5: Listen, I made that broad my bitch today.
28:00
Speaker 3: Okay, you don't have to talk about it. You know her.
28:01
Speaker 3: You know the family.
28:02
Speaker 5: I made her my bitch. I went out. She's got
28:04
Speaker 5: a college level. Hello.
28:06
Speaker 1: She's got a three handicap, dude. She's got a three handicap.
28:10
Speaker 1: Bruce Sutton's got a five. And you're out there with
28:12
Speaker 1: a 23? Who won?
28:16
Speaker 3: You're out there?
28:17
Speaker 5: Who won?
28:18
Speaker 3: You had a net set.
28:19
Speaker 5: There you go. I had a net set. Hey, let
28:22
Speaker 5: me ask you. Were you playing a ball down, or
28:24
Speaker 5: did you tee it up like a little wuss?
28:26
Speaker 1: Well, let me ask you something. What tees were you
28:28
Speaker 1: playing from?
28:28
Speaker 5: What's that supposed to be?
28:30
Speaker 1: Were you playing the ladies' tee? Did you play the ladies' tee?
28:33
Speaker 1: Did you play the winter rules?
28:35
Speaker 5: Winter rules? If I got it into a divot, yes.
28:41
Speaker 2: Oh, so you don't play golf, do you? You play
28:44
Speaker 2: some other game, right?
28:46
Speaker 3: What are winter rules?
28:47
Speaker 5: Winter rules are you can move your ball if the
28:49
Speaker 5: elements are.
28:50
Speaker 3: Does that include teeing it up?
28:52
Speaker 5: Occasionally, yeah.
28:53
Speaker 3: You tee it up in the fairway? I never heard
28:55
Speaker 3: of that.
28:55
Speaker 5: I couldn't give her too much of an advantage, okay? Oh,
28:58
Speaker 5: so you don't play by the rules of golf? What
29:00
Speaker 5: game is that? You play whatever that golf is? I
29:03
Speaker 5: play golf, okay?
29:04
Speaker 1: Teeing it up in the fairway, moving it out of divots,
29:06
Speaker 1: and you're cracking a drive into rough?
29:09
Speaker 5: Hey, listen, pal. You said to me you wanted to
29:11
Speaker 5: play Dinega Creek, right?
29:13
Speaker 3: I'd like to.
29:14
Speaker 5: Then watch the way you're talking to me.
29:16
Speaker 3: Well, wait a second, Ted.
29:18
Speaker 5: Watch the way that you're talking to me.
29:22
Speaker 3: Here is Tex Arcana on the Phil Henry Show.
29:24
Speaker 5: Hello. Oh, another Texas golfer. Just because you had Byron Nelson.
29:28
Speaker 3: Tex Arcana, hello.
29:29
Speaker 8: Hello, how are you doing?
29:30
Speaker 5: Good, sir.
29:31
Speaker 8: Hey, this guy shot a 95 and kicked ass. Man,
29:35
Speaker 8: you're a scrub. And a 180-yard drive? I've seen Ray
29:39
Speaker 8: Charles drive better than that.
29:40
Speaker 5: That's ridiculous. I wailed on that dimpled bastard. Are you
29:43
Speaker 5: kidding me? What are you smoking down there, man?
29:46
Speaker 8: Let me tell you something. I play. Listen, I don't
29:49
Speaker 8: play in a cow pasture. My membership was only like $ 1, 500.
29:52
Speaker 8: It's $ 250 a month at my country club. And let
29:54
Speaker 8: me tell you, Phil, about what the deal is on
29:56
Speaker 8: the handicapped team. What you do is when you come
29:59
Speaker 8: in every day and you play, you turn in your card.
30:01
Speaker 3: You turn in the scorecard?
30:02
Speaker 5: You take that card, and this is it. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
30:06
Speaker 8: This tab right here, what he's using is 96, 92, 101, 102, 98,
30:10
Speaker 8: and they figure if the average score is 95, give
30:13
Speaker 8: him 23.
30:14
Speaker 1: And the handicap is supposed to.
30:16
Speaker 3: Bring you down to what, to par?
30:18
Speaker 8: It brings you down to par.
30:19
Speaker 5: Hey, you know what?
30:20
Speaker 8: Another guy was talking about a scratch golfer.
30:22
Speaker 5: You play with metalhead or wood? I play with metal.
30:26
Speaker 8: And my average drive.
30:28
Speaker 5: Is about 285, 310. I play with wood, my friend.
30:31
Speaker 5: There you go. There you go. See, the guy's getting
30:34
Speaker 5: another 100 yards on his drive because he played with
30:36
Speaker 5: a metalhead club.
30:38
Speaker 8: Well, let me tell you something. In my club, I
30:40
Speaker 8: don't play the tournaments that have any type of handicap
30:43
Speaker 8: because what you scrubs do, you go out the week
30:46
Speaker 8: before and you hack the course up on purpose and
30:49
Speaker 8: you write down 110, 120, 115, 120. They give you
30:50
Speaker 8: like a 40.
30:54
Speaker 5: Wait, wait, wait. Are you calling me? Wait, are you
30:56
Speaker 5: calling me?
30:56
Speaker 8: You come back and play your scrappy.
30:57
Speaker 5: You come back and play your.
30:58
Speaker 8: Scrappy 95 golf, and it looks like you shot a 48.
31:01
Speaker 5: That's ridiculous. Let me ask you something. Are you calling
31:04
Speaker 5: me a sandbagger?
31:05
Speaker 8: Oh, you're most definitely. Anybody that plays a handicap is
31:07
Speaker 8: a sandbagger.
31:07
Speaker 5: You're calling me a sandbagger.
31:08
Speaker 3: What's a sandbagger?
31:09
Speaker 5: You know the reason you all did that?
31:10
Speaker 8: You know the reason you lost that bet? Because that
31:12
Speaker 8: guy didn't think any idiot was going to bet and
31:14
Speaker 8: carry a handicap. Man, if you're in a clubhouse and
31:16
Speaker 8: you're talking smack, if you want to play a golf,
31:19
Speaker 8: you don't come out with a handicap, you wad.
31:22
Speaker 5: I just want to be clear. You're calling me a sandbagger.
31:24
Speaker 8: I'm calling you a wad.
31:26
Speaker 5: I got a $ 35, 000 membership at the Niagara Creek. Well,
31:29
Speaker 5: good deal. You got a good job.
31:30
Speaker 3: This gentleman's a good job.
31:32
Speaker 5: Your golf game sucks, man.
31:34
Speaker 9: Go get a lesson.
31:35
Speaker 5: Wait a second. Let me ask you. How much did
31:36
Speaker 5: you pay for your membership?
31:37
Speaker 8: $ 1, 500.
31:39
Speaker 5: You couldn't carry my ball bag.
31:41
Speaker 8: You couldn't carry my stroke sack.
31:43
Speaker 5: Son, you could not carry... Can you hear me?
31:46
Speaker 3: My stroke sack.
31:48
Speaker 5: No, I have not lost my mind. What's going on here, Phil, again,
31:50
Speaker 5: is all.
31:50
Speaker 8: What's going on is you made a lot of money.
31:52
Speaker 5: Somebody called you on the radio, and you've.
31:54
Speaker 8: Embarrassed yourself in front of God and all of National
31:56
Speaker 8: Golf by saying you kicked a girl's ass shooting a. 95.
32:01
Speaker 8: That girl wore you out like a rag doll, dude.
32:04
Speaker 5: Fight me.
32:04
Speaker 8: Go back, pay your five. If you're so damn rich,
32:07
Speaker 8: pay your five. Now, I tell you what, go back
32:09
Speaker 8: to your country club, walk in and ask them, say,
32:11
Speaker 8: how many of you would play a game of golf
32:13
Speaker 8: for $ 5, 000 and carry a handicap to the field?
32:16
Speaker 5: And they'd look at you and go, handicap? Man, they'll
32:18
Speaker 5: kick you out of that club. Hey, let me tell you,
32:20
Speaker 5: Janega Creek is a $ 35, 000 club.
32:22
Speaker 3: Oh, come on.
32:23
Speaker 8: You're talking about people playing in Calpash? I'm not talking
32:25
Speaker 8: about playing in Calpash. Your score sucks even worse.
32:28
Speaker 5: I ain't talking about playing in Mayberry, okay? I'm talking about.
32:31
Speaker 1: No, wait a second. This guy obviously knows what he's doing.
32:34
Speaker 8: I'll tell you what, Mayberry, Don Knotts would wear you out, dude.
32:37
Speaker 5: Don Knotts wear me out? He'd wear you out. What
32:40
Speaker 5: part of me?
32:40
Speaker 3: Well, let's not get into that. Thank you, sir. Hold on, Ted.
32:45
Speaker 1: Ted's getting... He says he wailed ass on the course today.
32:47
Speaker 1: He's getting ripped an ass by every hacker and every golfer,
32:49
Speaker 1: good and bad, from here to there. So what I'm
32:53
Speaker 1: getting from this is a 23 handicap means Ted shot
32:56
Speaker 1: a 95, and with his handicap, he.
32:58
Speaker 3: Got a 72. Is that right? Holy Jesus. And she
33:02
Speaker 3: shot a 76.
33:03
Speaker 1: She's carrying a 3, so he beat her by one stroke.
33:07
Speaker 3: And he's telling me that he kicked ass? That he
33:11
Speaker 3: whooped up?
33:13
Speaker 5: Wow.
33:24
Speaker 1: Phil Henry Show, 1-800-449-8686. Ted, tell me, Ted Bell is
33:30
Speaker 1: with us. He was out on a course today. He
33:31
Speaker 1: got a brand new membership there at Denega Creek. Congratulations, Ted.
33:34
Speaker 1: I know it's $ 35, 000. It's five bills a month, and
33:37
Speaker 1: I know it costs you a lot, and it's a
33:38
Speaker 1: great course. 6,935 yards, par 72, jail on the right, yada, yada, yada.
33:43
Speaker 1: But the question that I have for you, is are
33:46
Speaker 1: you a better golfer than this woman?
33:48
Speaker 5: Absolutely. What do you think of it?
33:50
Speaker 1: No, wait, because you got a 23 handicap. She's got
33:53
Speaker 1: a three handicap. She plays at the collegiate level over
33:56
Speaker 1: at CSUN.
33:58
Speaker 3: Okay.
33:59
Speaker 5: Did I beat her?
34:00
Speaker 1: You beat her net. You did not beat her gross.
34:02
Speaker 1: She had a 76, man. She was four over par.
34:05
Speaker 1: You had a 95.
34:06
Speaker 5: Did I beat her or did I not? Did I
34:08
Speaker 5: beat her or did I not? That's the question.
34:10
Speaker 1: You beat her net. You had a 72. She had
34:13
Speaker 1: a 73. She's a better golfer.
34:15
Speaker 5: You cannot say that. You cannot say that. She's a woman,
34:18
Speaker 5: number one. She does not have the same upper body strength.
34:21
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter whether she has the same upper body strength.
34:24
Speaker 1: She beat you with a 76.
34:26
Speaker 5: You cannot say that any woman's going to walk out
34:30
Speaker 5: there in a championship tee box and take me down.
34:33
Speaker 5: I'm the Terminator. I terminated today, and there's a lot
34:36
Speaker 5: of people that can't handle it.
34:38
Speaker 3: Well, it ain't making sense to me, man. It ain't
34:40
Speaker 3: adding up. Here's San Diego on the Phil Henry Show.
34:42
Speaker 5: Hello.
34:43
Speaker 8: Hi, Phil.
34:43
Speaker 1: Yes.
34:44
Speaker 9: I'm calling about regarding this guy who's kind of making
34:47
Speaker 9: me a little mad.
34:49
Speaker 5: I'm making you mad. Of course I'm making you mad, okay?
34:51
Speaker 9: Well, let me just tell you about myself real quick, okay?
34:54
Speaker 9: Because I haven't.
34:55
Speaker 5: Listened to you talk for a while.
34:56
Speaker 3: Let the lady talk, okay?
34:58
Speaker 9: My boyfriend of over five years is a very good golfer.
35:01
Speaker 9: He's a handicap one or two. My dad's been a
35:05
Speaker 9: golfer almost all his life. I've played golf a couple times.
35:08
Speaker 5: A couple times?
35:10
Speaker 1: Yeah.
35:10
Speaker 5: Well, that doesn't, you know, I don't know. What am
35:12
Speaker 5: I talking to her for?
35:13
Speaker 9: Well, I have a lot of experience.
35:15
Speaker 3: She's got friends.
35:16
Speaker 9: I know golf is, and I've watched a lot of golf.
35:18
Speaker 9: And my question for you is, I guess.
35:19
Speaker 5: Phil Hendry's watched a lot of golf. He's not going
35:21
Speaker 5: to stay on the same course with me.
35:22
Speaker 3: Let her finish, please.
35:24
Speaker 5: Phil Hendry has watched a lot of golf. What's that
35:26
Speaker 5: got to do with being a golfer?
35:28
Speaker 9: Well, it means I know a lot about golf. And
35:30
Speaker 9: basically what my question is, you know, if you've gotten
35:33
Speaker 9: to play with Payne Stewart, I'd like to, you know,
35:35
Speaker 9: say that's really cool and everything.
35:36
Speaker 5: Absolutely.
35:37
Speaker 9: But, you know, if he congratulated you and said, hey,
35:40
Speaker 9: you know, you played well today, blah, blah, blah, that's great.
35:43
Speaker 9: But my question is... If he told you that you had,
35:47
Speaker 9: you know, if you practiced enough, you could possibly play and,
35:50
Speaker 9: you know, be really good. So then why aren't you,
35:53
Speaker 9: instead of playing at your 35,000-year country club, why aren't
35:56
Speaker 9: you joining a teardrop tour or a Nike tour or.
35:59
Speaker 5: Going to youth school? First of all, he said I
36:01
Speaker 5: had potential. He didn't say that I could play.
36:03
Speaker 9: Well, if you have potential, then you're going to work
36:06
Speaker 9: at it.
36:07
Speaker 5: I play every day.
36:08
Speaker 9: Just like my boyfriend has been doing.
36:09
Speaker 3: Well, what about the lady's question?
36:11
Speaker 1: She talked about Q School.
36:13
Speaker 5: Oh, Q School. Let me tell you a little bit
36:14
Speaker 5: about Q School. First of all, you've got to get
36:17
Speaker 5: two pros to play with you before you can go
36:18
Speaker 5: into Q School, okay? That's not true.
36:23
Speaker 9: No, it's not. If you can afford $ 35, 000 a year
36:25
Speaker 9: to play at the country club, you can afford $ 3, 000
36:27
Speaker 9: to pay the entry fee for Q School.
36:29
Speaker 5: There's not a pro around here that's got the balls
36:32
Speaker 5: to play with me. Because I'll tell you something. Number one,
36:35
Speaker 5: they don't get paid to play with a guy who
36:37
Speaker 5: wants to get into Q School. Number two, if you
36:40
Speaker 5: beat them, they wind up looking bad. Number three, they
36:43
Speaker 5: want you to suck up and become their friend before
36:45
Speaker 5: they're even going to play with you, okay? That's not true.
36:48
Speaker 9: I've known plenty of pros who are the coolest guys
36:50
Speaker 9: in the world.
36:51
Speaker 5: You don't even play golf. You're a chick. I have
36:54
Speaker 5: played golf before.
36:55
Speaker 9: And actually, you know what?
36:57
Speaker 5: I don't play golf. Dimple in the chin. Of course
37:00
Speaker 5: they're going to be really nice to you, okay?
37:02
Speaker 9: I know several girls who play from the white tees
37:07
Speaker 9: and the blue championship tees. They play from the tips,
37:10
Speaker 9: and they kick your butt.
37:10
Speaker 5: And guess what? They don't win. Just like today, she
37:12
Speaker 5: didn't win, okay?
37:14
Speaker 9: Listen to me. They play from the tips, and they
37:15
Speaker 9: play from the white tees, and they still kick your butt.
37:18
Speaker 9: I know a girl who shoots 74, 75 almost every
37:20
Speaker 9: single time she goes out.
37:22
Speaker 5: From the tips. I shot a 72 today, so it
37:23
Speaker 5: looks like I'm doing the ass-kicking.
37:25
Speaker 9: Yeah, but you know what? You're including your handicap.
37:27
Speaker 5: She's not.
37:27
Speaker 9: I'm doing the ass-kicking.
37:29
Speaker 3: You're putting your 23 handicap, okay?
37:31
Speaker 5: Look, I cracked ass today. No girl's going to beat me.
37:35
Speaker 3: Well, a girl beat you today. A 19-year-old.
37:38
Speaker 5: Oh, really? Well, bring it on.
37:40
Speaker 9: Okay, I'll tell you where she goes to school.
37:42
Speaker 5: I'll give you my home phone number right over here.
37:45
Speaker 9: She goes to school at the University of Nevada.
37:47
Speaker 5: Why would I waste my time playing girls?
37:49
Speaker 9: Because you know she's going to kick your butt.
37:51
Speaker 5: She's not going to kick my butt. I went out
37:53
Speaker 5: today and what did she shoot?
37:55
Speaker 9: Um, let's see. I checked on the computer two days ago,
37:58
Speaker 9: and in a collegiate match, she shot 74.
38:01
Speaker 5: I shot a 72. I shot a 72. Hello? I
38:05
Speaker 5: shot a 72.
38:05
Speaker 9: Yeah, but you subtracted it from, what, 90-something?
38:07
Speaker 5: Hey, here's my number. You have her give me a call, okay?
38:10
Speaker 5: All right. 213. I crack ass. And tell her, Ted,
38:15
Speaker 5: I crack ass bell. Can't wait.
38:18
Speaker 1: World-famous Phil Every Show, executive produced by Phil Henry, for
38:25
Speaker 5: You suck, Ted.
38:27
Speaker 3: Oh, come on.