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10+ Life Lessons You Should Know Before 30 · Two Broke Chicks

0:00
Speaker 1: This podcast is recorded on gadigal Land Always was, always
0:03
Speaker 1: will be Aboriginal Land.
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Speaker 2: Hey Chicks, I'm sal and I'm out and this is
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Speaker 2: too Broake Chicks, a show that shares life lessons and
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Speaker 2: tips to help make you rich in life. And welcome
0:18
Speaker 2: back to the show, Bridget Hussway.
0:24
Speaker 3: We are so bad care me.
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Speaker 4: I'm so excited and this is my first time in
0:29
Speaker 4: your steer today.
0:32
Speaker 5: Welcome.
0:33
Speaker 3: It's so big and legit and amazing.
0:36
Speaker 5: I'm so excited to be back as well.
0:38
Speaker 1: The last time you're on the show, we were in
0:40
Speaker 1: for a wild fucking ride. Well, but you just like
0:43
Speaker 1: derailed the whole episode with one story.
0:46
Speaker 2: Literally, we got the most iconic breakup episode ever.
0:50
Speaker 3: It was break up.
0:52
Speaker 5: It was so good. Well not that you went through.
0:54
Speaker 4: That, but but yeah, that was the first time that
0:57
Speaker 4: I had really spoken about it.
0:59
Speaker 3: But I just kept on.
1:01
Speaker 1: After we were like, so we're all getting drinks, right,
1:06
Speaker 1: so rammed. It was like a pre game just here
1:08
Speaker 1: in that story.
1:09
Speaker 3: And I was like, guys, I need a drink.
1:11
Speaker 2: But we're glad to have you back on because we've
1:14
Speaker 2: got you on. Obviously, we don't need an excuse to
1:17
Speaker 2: have you on. But we want to chat about your
1:19
Speaker 2: brand new book, Figuring Out Dirty second.
1:22
Speaker 3: Book, second book of baby.
1:24
Speaker 2: Oh my god, how are you feeling now that it's
1:27
Speaker 2: out in the world.
1:28
Speaker 5: It's been a few months now.
1:29
Speaker 4: Yeah, relieved, I think, and you guys would know it's
1:33
Speaker 4: it's you almost have and I think you sail as
1:35
Speaker 4: a big music fan to you have like a newfound
1:37
Speaker 4: empathy for people who put out big, like bodies of work,
1:40
Speaker 4: like I always think of artists and just being like song,
1:42
Speaker 4: EP album like damn, because you are working on it
1:45
Speaker 4: for so long. Yeah, and when you release it, it's
1:48
Speaker 4: out of your control. And we were saying before even
1:52
Speaker 4: during the process. For me especially, I like kind of
1:54
Speaker 4: just blackout, like because it's so stressful for me. And
1:57
Speaker 4: I don't find writing like easy. I enjoyed it in
2:02
Speaker 4: high school and I was really good in my English classes.
2:05
Speaker 4: But I guess, especially you know, in the last decade
2:07
Speaker 4: of being like a music presenter and like, you know,
2:10
Speaker 4: communicating a verbal sense, I find putting my thoughts and
2:14
Speaker 4: I guess the ADHD thing too, but like putting it
2:16
Speaker 4: from pen to paper is really difficult, and especially when
2:21
Speaker 4: it is a super personal body of work, there's like
2:24
Speaker 4: that kind of emotional exhaustion too, So I'm really glad
2:29
Speaker 4: that it's out, yeah, and probably won't write for a
2:35
Speaker 4: long time, but happy to talk about it.
2:37
Speaker 5: Yeah, exactly.
2:38
Speaker 2: And I think as much as it can be really daunting,
2:40
Speaker 2: especially with a book like this that is quite vulnerable,
2:43
Speaker 2: you're going to be helping so many people with it,
2:45
Speaker 2: and I think so many people can relate to it,
2:47
Speaker 2: which I'm excited to get into it and ask you
2:50
Speaker 2: some more questions about it. But before we do, we
2:53
Speaker 2: love to start with our life lesson of the week,
2:55
Speaker 2: So would you like to kick us off?
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Speaker 1: Sure?
2:57
Speaker 4: This is one is an interesting one, and I I
3:00
Speaker 4: wish I was better at it early on, but it's
3:02
Speaker 4: just I think I was on my emails a couple
3:04
Speaker 4: of days ago and I've just been thinking about it
3:07
Speaker 4: ever since, and I've been, I guess, trying to be
3:10
Speaker 4: really aware of it. And the life lesson would be
3:13
Speaker 4: to how will I put it? I guess kind of
3:16
Speaker 4: own own your voice and own your presence. So for me,
3:20
Speaker 4: this is in the context of emails and being a freelancer, right,
3:24
Speaker 4: And you guys would know too when you following things
3:27
Speaker 4: up and you know you're chasing things like I am
3:31
Speaker 4: very much a chaser with work. There's things that will
3:34
Speaker 4: come to me. But if there's something that I want
3:36
Speaker 4: to do, I will.
3:37
Speaker 2: You know.
3:38
Speaker 3: I love hitting up people and being annoying.
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Speaker 5: Yeah, she's an aries.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's proactive total. Yeah.
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Speaker 4: In saying that, I do have a bit of insecurity
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Speaker 4: with it. I guess an imposter syndrome. But I think
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Speaker 4: that's a natural tendency for women, especially, you know, kind
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Speaker 4: of owning that presence, and we tend to minimize our
4:01
Speaker 4: requests and you know, make ourselves smaller because that's how
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Speaker 4: we've always been kind of treated essentially. So I've just
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Speaker 4: been aware of, especially in my emails of you know,
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Speaker 4: it will always be like just checking in, just wondering
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Speaker 4: and so sorry to be, you know, a pest.
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Speaker 5: But or does that make sense? All good if not?
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Speaker 4: You know, And I think for me, I really just
4:25
Speaker 4: need to be a bit more assertive.
4:27
Speaker 3: So I'm trying to embrace that a bit more.
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Speaker 4: And I haven't really yeah, thought about it as much
4:32
Speaker 4: as I have now been a freelancer, but yeah, I
4:36
Speaker 4: guess a few days ago, so within the week I
4:38
Speaker 4: was on my emails and I've been just like shooting
4:41
Speaker 4: out a bunch of ships. There's just so much that
4:43
Speaker 4: I want to get going, get the ball rolling for
4:45
Speaker 4: in twenty twenty five, because I was saying to you
4:47
Speaker 4: before off air, like it's been a bit of a
4:49
Speaker 4: slower start for me kind of getting into the rhythm
4:53
Speaker 4: of work and especially being in wa where it's a
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Speaker 4: little bit more isolated in a creative sense. Yeah, I'm
5:02
Speaker 4: just like out here chasing a bunch of shit. But
5:04
Speaker 4: I was like, yeah, I just really got to be
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Speaker 4: a bit more like, you know, have a bit more
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Speaker 4: ownership over my voice and that kind of presence and
5:11
Speaker 4: you know, if I mean, I'm allowed to have that.
5:14
Speaker 1: So yeah, but if you don't chase, you don't catch exactly.
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Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, no one's going to do it for you either, exactly.
5:22
Speaker 1: I love don't ask, don't get moment, like when you're
5:26
Speaker 1: sitting there being like, oh should I do this, Well,
5:29
Speaker 1: you're not going to get it if you don't, and
5:30
Speaker 1: by like and sometimes it's not even an ask it
5:33
Speaker 1: to tell like it's been like cool, like let me
5:35
Speaker 1: know by the end of the day, that'd be great,
5:36
Speaker 1: thank you.
5:37
Speaker 3: By yeah, being like.
5:38
Speaker 5: Could you like get back to me whenever.
5:40
Speaker 1: You can that's about no, tell me now right now?
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Speaker 4: Yeah, and yeah, I think people think, you know, in
5:46
Speaker 4: this kind of field that we find ourselves in professionally,
5:50
Speaker 4: that you know, we get to do amazing things and
5:53
Speaker 4: they just happen, but we actually chase so much of it.
5:55
Speaker 4: You know, there's so much behind the scenes where we
5:58
Speaker 4: are actually putting ourselves out there, putting our hands up
6:01
Speaker 4: and getting up in people's faces because we want to
6:03
Speaker 4: make things happen. So yeah, I feel really uncomfortable with
6:07
Speaker 4: sitting back and expecting things to come to me. I'm
6:10
Speaker 4: always very grateful when they do, but I can't rely
6:13
Speaker 4: on that, and I feel like.
6:15
Speaker 3: There's people who will you know, there's people that.
6:17
Speaker 4: Will go out there and do the things, and then
6:18
Speaker 4: there's other people who will sit back and watch them
6:21
Speaker 4: do the things, and then they get annoyed and it's.
6:23
Speaker 3: Like, well, what do you expect? Yeah, you go do
6:26
Speaker 3: the thing.
6:26
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you get the thing and you get the thing.
6:29
Speaker 5: Yeah, go do the thing.
6:30
Speaker 1: Girl. My life lesson of the week is to go
6:33
Speaker 1: visit your grandparents. Obviously if you can, if you live
6:37
Speaker 1: in the same place, if they're still around, being mag bong,
6:39
Speaker 1: if you still have a relationship, but I haven't visited
6:42
Speaker 1: my nonna in so long. And on Valentine's Day, I
6:47
Speaker 1: got a bit drunk and I messaged her and I
6:50
Speaker 1: was like, have a Valentine's Say yeah, and she was
6:53
Speaker 1: like and she always sayds like you know how like
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Speaker 1: our grandparents text. It's like the most eloquent response.
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Speaker 5: And she's like, Hello Alexandra, live of my life.
7:02
Speaker 3: Wishing you the best, beautiful matader.
7:04
Speaker 1: And I was like to rub I was like, we
7:06
Speaker 1: should go see my nona and he was like, all right,
7:08
Speaker 1: let's go, but she lives on.
7:10
Speaker 5: Her own now.
7:11
Speaker 1: And I was like, don't worry, we'll come. We'll make lunch.
7:15
Speaker 1: We literally packed the pasta maker. We're going to go
7:17
Speaker 1: make her like homemade pasted out. We get there, she's
7:21
Speaker 1: put on a whole fucking roast.
7:23
Speaker 5: She was like, I just made a little something and
7:25
Speaker 5: I was like, what what do you mean?
7:26
Speaker 1: And then she's made this whole roast and I was like,
7:29
Speaker 1: so why did I bring it?
7:31
Speaker 5: It's just like.
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Speaker 3: Just just a little bit.
7:33
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh my gosh, okay, and then
7:35
Speaker 1: she goes, okay, well, let me know when you want
7:37
Speaker 1: to go to your Ernie Rauders and uncle ladies and
7:39
Speaker 1: I was like what. And so she's then wrangled me
7:42
Speaker 1: into driving to her brothers, which was amazing and like
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Speaker 1: they're just the best and we're spending the whole day
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Speaker 1: with them. And then my nanna's brother pulls out a DVD.
7:52
Speaker 5: And he's like, have you seen this? And it's mum
7:54
Speaker 5: and Dad's wedding video and I haven't never ever seen it.
7:59
Speaker 1: And so we sat around having like tea and coffee.
8:03
Speaker 1: This was also when I learned that Italian, their Italian
8:07
Speaker 1: version of coffee just has baileies in it.
8:09
Speaker 3: Yeah, milk, yeah.
8:12
Speaker 1: And they were yelling at me because I was having
8:13
Speaker 1: water and they're like, but that's going to rust your insides,
8:16
Speaker 1: and I was like.
8:16
Speaker 3: I have to drive.
8:19
Speaker 1: And we watched my mom and dad's wedding video so
8:21
Speaker 1: c it was just so I was crying.
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Speaker 5: Yeah, so beautiful and beautiful and like, oh my god,
8:28
Speaker 5: I took photos. Oh my god, I want.
8:29
Speaker 3: To say, can't believe you haven't seen it.
8:31
Speaker 5: I hadn't seen it, and they kept being like, what
8:33
Speaker 5: do you mean you haven't seen it?
8:34
Speaker 1: And I was like they haven't tried me, wow, And yeah,
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Speaker 1: it was just the cutest thing.
8:39
Speaker 5: Ever, so yeah, it was a good little day.
8:42
Speaker 3: I love that.
8:42
Speaker 1: It was so cute because, yeah, all my other grandparents
8:45
Speaker 1: have passed away.
8:46
Speaker 5: So when we were watching a video, they were in
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Speaker 5: the video, so like my nan and my pup and
8:51
Speaker 5: my no no. I was just you need to have
8:53
Speaker 5: like a wine night with your mom and watch it.
8:56
Speaker 1: I know tea And I'm like, okay, so was pissing
9:00
Speaker 1: you off?
9:01
Speaker 3: Yeah?
9:02
Speaker 5: Where are that?
9:03
Speaker 2: Well? That's always the bts behind a wedding, exactly every time.
9:08
Speaker 5: Okay, what's yours? My life lesson?
9:10
Speaker 2: I'll keep it short and sweet because it's not that deep.
9:13
Speaker 2: But did you know that if ninety nine percent of
9:16
Speaker 2: the human population thought you were ugly, still around eighty
9:20
Speaker 2: million people would think you were hot?
9:23
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, that's good.
9:26
Speaker 5: Yeah.
9:26
Speaker 2: So even on your ugliest little day, which we all
9:30
Speaker 2: have those days when we're not feeling like the hotties
9:33
Speaker 2: that we truly are, eighty eighty million people eighty million
9:36
Speaker 2: people would say smash.
9:39
Speaker 1: Wow, that's like that stat that's like people say, it
9:43
Speaker 1: was twenty percent hotter than you think you are.
9:46
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, oh that makes me feel good.
9:49
Speaker 1: Yeah, so even on your ugliest day, you're still twenty
9:51
Speaker 1: percent hotter than you think you are. And then when
9:53
Speaker 1: you are feeling yourself and you're like, yeah, I'm hitting
9:56
Speaker 1: it today, You're.
10:00
Speaker 5: It's a home fucking run.
10:02
Speaker 3: That's like unstoppable. Yeah that's good. Yeah, I feel good
10:06
Speaker 3: for eight million people.
10:08
Speaker 5: Good time the episode. Yeah, let's do it, okay, Bridget.
10:17
Speaker 2: Can we talk about the expectations that come we're turning thirty?
10:22
Speaker 3: Oh boy, where do we start? I mean, well, did
10:25
Speaker 3: you feel them?
10:26
Speaker 1: Yeah?
10:27
Speaker 3: I did a little bit. Yeah.
10:30
Speaker 2: I would say for me, I think it's a little
10:32
Speaker 2: bit different because I don't necessarily know if I ever
10:36
Speaker 2: want to have children or get married, so I think
10:38
Speaker 2: those are two of the big pressures.
10:40
Speaker 5: But I did.
10:41
Speaker 2: Feel like my worth as a woman in society was
10:45
Speaker 2: being questioned. I just felt like, even after I turned
10:49
Speaker 2: twenty five, the way that especially men who I knew,
10:52
Speaker 2: spoke to me or just spoke about different things around
10:56
Speaker 2: me was significantly different after I turned twenty five, because
11:00
Speaker 2: I did feel like people like say that people see
11:04
Speaker 2: women who are over thirty as lesser.
11:07
Speaker 4: Than Yeah, I'm really fascinated by especially growing up when
11:11
Speaker 4: we would have been exposed to it, but we weren't
11:14
Speaker 4: probably thinking about it in a deep sense until we
11:16
Speaker 4: were twenty nine approaching thirty with how it's been captured
11:21
Speaker 4: through pop culture. You know how we grow up when
11:23
Speaker 4: we were watching Bridget Jones and that's just recently come out,
11:25
Speaker 4: the new one. I've only just recently in the last
11:28
Speaker 4: like twelve odd months. Don't judge me got into Friends
11:32
Speaker 4: better late than ever. But you know, the episode with
11:34
Speaker 4: Rachel crying about turning thirty, like it was just the
11:38
Speaker 4: most horrific thing. I remember very vividly being eighteen and
11:42
Speaker 4: Lily Allen singing, you know she's nearly thirty now and
11:45
Speaker 4: she's out every night, sad, but it's true how society
11:47
Speaker 4: says her life is already over. Like those things I remember,
11:52
Speaker 4: you know, being so aware of growing up, but then
11:55
Speaker 4: I guess kind of forgetting about them until I was
11:58
Speaker 4: not only twenty nine, but I guess weeks before turning
12:01
Speaker 4: thirty when the big breakup happened, because for me and
12:05
Speaker 4: I think coming from a regional kind of upbringing where
12:08
Speaker 4: and not that there's anything wrong with it, and also
12:11
Speaker 4: even our parents the previous generations, like with the more
12:15
Speaker 4: traditional markers, those milestones of buying a house, settling down
12:20
Speaker 4: and having kids, when my mum was my age now
12:23
Speaker 4: thirty three, she had four kids under the age of four.
12:26
Speaker 4: I could not think of doing that at all at
12:29
Speaker 4: this age, and that's what her reality was. So I
12:32
Speaker 4: think those kind of traditional expectations, although they do feel
12:36
Speaker 4: less applicable to our lives now because you know, cost
12:38
Speaker 4: of living. Ill, we're working, yeah, so gross, you know,
12:44
Speaker 4: women are working more, but yeah, we those I think
12:49
Speaker 4: were the main kind of expectations. And you know, on
12:51
Speaker 4: my podcast, I love asking people like expectation versus reality,
12:55
Speaker 4: and I feel like I had these expectations in place,
13:01
Speaker 4: and then when this breakup happened, I was like, you know,
13:04
Speaker 4: a bit of a mess because I was like, this
13:06
Speaker 4: is not how I thought turning thirty would be for me.
13:10
Speaker 4: But it didn't take too long to kind of unpack
13:12
Speaker 4: that and be like, oh, that's what I thought I
13:15
Speaker 4: should have wanted, because that's what most people around me
13:20
Speaker 4: have done. So I just thought that's what I was
13:23
Speaker 4: meant to do, But is it actually what I want
13:26
Speaker 4: to do?
13:27
Speaker 1: Yeah?
13:28
Speaker 5: And meant versus want? Yeah?
13:30
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think that because you did have quite
13:32
Speaker 2: a few of those things ticked off, you know, like
13:34
Speaker 2: you have a very successful career, you were in a
13:38
Speaker 2: long term relationship, you had some amazing milestones coming up.
13:42
Speaker 5: But I know that in that episode when.
13:44
Speaker 2: We spoke about the breakup, you did say that you
13:47
Speaker 2: weren't necessarily happy in that relationship and that point in
13:50
Speaker 2: your life. Yeah, so maybe that helped with that realization too,
13:53
Speaker 2: because it's like, oh, well, I had ticked all of
13:55
Speaker 2: these things that I should have done by the time
13:57
Speaker 2: I was turning thirty, but I wasn't necessarily the happiest
14:00
Speaker 2: version of myself.
14:01
Speaker 4: Yeah, And it just seems to be that age where like,
14:04
Speaker 4: I just can't think of an age previously. And I'm
14:06
Speaker 4: sure there will be more reflections moving forward, but thirty
14:09
Speaker 4: does feel like that first kind of pit stop where
14:13
Speaker 4: you're like, let's have a look at everything that's happened
14:16
Speaker 4: that's led me to this moment and what I want
14:19
Speaker 4: moving forward, and how does it actually match up with
14:21
Speaker 4: what I thought that I wanted. And I think there's
14:23
Speaker 4: an element even if it doesn't align with what you
14:26
Speaker 4: want now and you are, you know, very comfortable and
14:28
Speaker 4: content with what you want, I think there's still like
14:30
Speaker 4: an element of grief about it too, because you always
14:34
Speaker 4: kind of you know, I hate to think what if.
14:36
Speaker 4: But I think we always do. We always have that
14:39
Speaker 4: natural curiosity and intrigue about the many ways in which
14:43
Speaker 4: our life could be looking. But yeah, I guess it
14:48
Speaker 4: just takes a little bit of time. And it took
14:49
Speaker 4: a bit of time for me, I guess to get
14:51
Speaker 4: really comfortable with where I was at and to see
14:54
Speaker 4: that as a new decade as like you know, starting fresh,
14:58
Speaker 4: you know, blank canvas, we can have a reset, and
15:01
Speaker 4: I I don't you know, I look back on that
15:04
Speaker 4: time very fondly because it was just like really big
15:07
Speaker 4: for the personal development.
15:09
Speaker 3: But it's hard.
15:10
Speaker 4: And I think even if you do have a successful career,
15:13
Speaker 4: we are because we're told that we can have it all,
15:16
Speaker 4: so you know, naturally you do want to have it all,
15:19
Speaker 4: but then you kind of quickly realize that it's really
15:21
Speaker 4: hard to balance things. You know, I want to have
15:22
Speaker 4: a thriving career, but you know a lot of systemic
15:26
Speaker 4: things kind of prevent me from having to have that
15:30
Speaker 4: and then being able to maybe be the mum that
15:33
Speaker 4: I want to be, you know, like women are in
15:35
Speaker 4: the workplace, but we forgot to do anything to help
15:38
Speaker 4: with you when you return to that kind of more
15:40
Speaker 4: domestic sphere, right, Like nothing's changed there where you know,
15:45
Speaker 4: dads are getting more support with if they want to
15:48
Speaker 4: be a stay at home dad, Like we have seen
15:49
Speaker 4: some you know that can be amazing stay home dads,
15:53
Speaker 4: but the expectations still remain that women can go work,
15:57
Speaker 4: but they still have to come back and you know,
15:59
Speaker 4: do all that labor.
16:00
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, domestic and emotional labor too.
16:02
Speaker 3: Yeah.
16:03
Speaker 2: Yeah.
16:03
Speaker 1: There's a quote in the book that I really love,
16:06
Speaker 1: and you say, I can confidently and genuinely say that
16:09
Speaker 1: I've let go of what I believed my life should
16:11
Speaker 1: be looking like right now. And I wanted to ask,
16:15
Speaker 1: why do we see thirty as the deadline?
16:19
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's still I.
16:20
Speaker 4: Mean, I feel like I don't have like a concrete
16:23
Speaker 4: answer for it. But again, I think it's just that
16:26
Speaker 4: first age for me, at least, when you know you're
16:29
Speaker 4: turning like sixteen, eighteen, twenty one, that's always really embraced
16:33
Speaker 4: as an exciting milestone because we get more freedoms and
16:39
Speaker 4: you know that in a sense, it's like those are
16:41
Speaker 4: the really peak fun bits of being an adult. But
16:46
Speaker 4: for some reason, yeah, thirty we kind of see as Yeah,
16:50
Speaker 4: that's when shit has to be serious and again pointing
16:52
Speaker 4: to like our parents who were a lot more settled
16:56
Speaker 4: at that age than I guess what a lot of
16:59
Speaker 4: us are feeling at the moment, you know. And I
17:01
Speaker 4: obviously have a lot of friends who do have like
17:03
Speaker 4: kids and houses and all of that at this age,
17:06
Speaker 4: who are happy with that. But there's never kind of
17:10
Speaker 4: been that dialogue where it's like what if you don't
17:13
Speaker 4: have that, and what if you don't want that? And
17:15
Speaker 4: feeling like it's okay to not want that kind of
17:18
Speaker 4: stuff too. Yeah, And I think again, with like that
17:22
Speaker 4: external commentary and language surrounding just generally women aging and
17:28
Speaker 4: being less desirable, you.
17:30
Speaker 1: Really don't see this narrative with men due no.
17:32
Speaker 4: And I mean even when we like, I've been thinking
17:34
Speaker 4: a lot about like the beauty standards, and I really
17:38
Speaker 4: loved writing like the chapter on body image, because yeah,
17:42
Speaker 4: I was even like it's funny, like I've had like
17:44
Speaker 4: recent skincare like issues and it's been so annoying to navigate.
17:50
Speaker 4: And I was thinking about like all the products that
17:52
Speaker 4: we use and all the things that we are sold,
17:55
Speaker 4: and men aren't like, you know, sold any of that.
17:58
Speaker 4: And I love that stuff, but like when you kind
18:00
Speaker 4: of get to the core of it and how things
18:02
Speaker 4: are marketed to us, and it's always to attain this
18:05
Speaker 4: certain image and essentially to be more youthful and desirable,
18:10
Speaker 4: like guys just do not have that kind of pressure.
18:13
Speaker 1: We spoke about this in an episode where sal shared
18:15
Speaker 1: her thirty life lessons she learned by thirty, and there
18:20
Speaker 1: was this conversation that we had in it that was
18:22
Speaker 1: kind of like, you're damned if you do, You're damned
18:24
Speaker 1: if you don't.
18:25
Speaker 5: You're damned if.
18:26
Speaker 1: You like don't care and you don't look youthful and
18:31
Speaker 1: then you've aged poorly in quotes like that is not
18:33
Speaker 1: me saying that that's the scenario. But then if you
18:36
Speaker 1: spend heaps of money and maybe you get botox or
18:40
Speaker 1: you spend lots of money on the way that you look,
18:42
Speaker 1: then you're vain and you care too much. And some
18:45
Speaker 1: it's like this damned if you do, damned if you
18:47
Speaker 1: don't situation, and.
18:49
Speaker 5: It's so wild.
18:50
Speaker 1: But we had a really popular question come through and
18:54
Speaker 1: it kind of aligns with what you were saying before
18:56
Speaker 1: as well, and it's how to be okay with being
18:58
Speaker 1: on different paths to your friends. Two of the main
19:01
Speaker 1: ones that we saw come through was being the single
19:04
Speaker 1: friend and also not wanting kids.
19:06
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's I mean those two a huge I remember
19:10
Speaker 4: during my single.
19:12
Speaker 3: Era, I.
19:17
Speaker 4: Like, I quickly found there was you know, a lot
19:20
Speaker 4: of conversations that would quickly go to me and it
19:24
Speaker 4: was like a source of entertainment for some you know
19:28
Speaker 4: we have.
19:29
Speaker 5: A friend who said the same thing.
19:31
Speaker 4: Yeah, or they'd be like, you know, you'll be fine,
19:34
Speaker 4: like you'll find someone, and it's like, well, I'm pretty
19:37
Speaker 4: content and comfortable with just having this moment to myself
19:40
Speaker 4: and for however long it needs to be. And even
19:44
Speaker 4: with the kids stuff, I think that also extends to
19:47
Speaker 4: that kind of dialogue. And for me on that level,
19:50
Speaker 4: I'd still like, I think I want a kid one day,
19:54
Speaker 4: but I'm not fucking ready now.
19:56
Speaker 3: Yeah, but they're still I don't know.
19:59
Speaker 4: I think we just what would make it easier, I
20:01
Speaker 4: guess is having more of the conversations, but just somehow
20:06
Speaker 4: being able to normalize it a bit more, because I
20:07
Speaker 4: guess we haven't really been given that kind of frame
20:10
Speaker 4: of reference as to how we can talk about these things,
20:12
Speaker 4: especially when now more and more people are opting out
20:16
Speaker 4: of having kids and more and more people are so
20:19
Speaker 4: content with being single, and I have realized I don't
20:22
Speaker 4: actually need a partner, you know, to be happy, Like
20:27
Speaker 4: that doesn't need to be my sole source of fulfillment.
20:30
Speaker 4: So and I think it also stems back to coming
20:33
Speaker 4: back to your self value and really making sure that
20:38
Speaker 4: you were comfortable with wherever you are at that moment,
20:41
Speaker 4: and like again, owning your choices too. But we've been
20:45
Speaker 4: brought up to think that those are you know, the
20:48
Speaker 4: things that we need to tick off. Like yeah, well
20:51
Speaker 4: you guys, I mean you wrote a whole fucking book
20:53
Speaker 4: about this, like and like when friends are on different levels,
20:56
Speaker 4: like what was not to be the interviewer now, but
20:59
Speaker 4: like your biggest takeaway from when you were kind of
21:01
Speaker 4: you know, navigating that.
21:02
Speaker 1: I think the thing was that was one of the
21:04
Speaker 1: biggest lessons from you know, the people we interviewed and
21:07
Speaker 1: discussed it with this and our own experiences, was especially
21:12
Speaker 1: with being a single friend, like because you go to
21:14
Speaker 1: things and a lot of people are couples, but remembering
21:17
Speaker 1: that you're single because you didn't want something, like something
21:21
Speaker 1: didn't work for you, something wasn't right for you. And
21:23
Speaker 1: even though it's very very easy, like the comparison trap
21:26
Speaker 1: is called a trap for a reason. It's easy to
21:28
Speaker 1: fall into. That you have to remember what it is
21:30
Speaker 1: that you wanted and that there's not a paintbrush that
21:34
Speaker 1: paints every single storyline the same way.
21:36
Speaker 5: And it's just the way that my brain works.
21:38
Speaker 1: And it's not to say that anyone's life is boring,
21:41
Speaker 1: but like, I love thinking about how individual lives are.
21:45
Speaker 5: Like, I love that.
21:47
Speaker 1: Feeling of when you see all the lights turn on
21:50
Speaker 1: at like six pm non dolit saving the time, and
21:54
Speaker 1: like how everyone's life is so so so different and
21:56
Speaker 1: how I want mine to be so individual to me.
21:58
Speaker 1: So why would I want my life to look like
22:00
Speaker 1: anyone else's.
22:01
Speaker 4: Yeah, And I also think when it comes to celebrating
22:03
Speaker 4: each other's wins as well, we really need to.
22:05
Speaker 3: Broaden what the win winds are.
22:08
Speaker 4: Ye, And like I have a great example that made
22:11
Speaker 4: me feel really good. So Oscar plays footy for Fremantle
22:15
Speaker 4: and we have a player's partners groups. It's just a
22:17
Speaker 4: little WhatsApp chat group for all the players partners sorry,
22:20
Speaker 4: which is yeah, it's really nice. And often in those
22:24
Speaker 4: you know, group chats outside of the admin for the
22:29
Speaker 4: matches and all that kind of stuff. You know, the
22:32
Speaker 4: post will be in there if you know one of
22:34
Speaker 4: the partners has a baby or as engaged, and a
22:36
Speaker 4: few of them are, which is, you know, great. And
22:40
Speaker 4: I was really surprised to like open the chat one
22:45
Speaker 4: day following the release of my book and one of
22:48
Speaker 4: the ladies who works at the club like made a
22:50
Speaker 4: really nice message being like a huge congrats to Bridget
22:53
Speaker 4: for releasing her new book. We're all so proud of you,
22:56
Speaker 4: and we know how hard you've worked and you have
22:58
Speaker 4: only known these people for just over a year. And
23:01
Speaker 4: I was I didn't expect that to be.
23:03
Speaker 3: In the group chat.
23:04
Speaker 4: And that's not to you know, undermine or underestimate them,
23:08
Speaker 4: but I was like, that's so nice, and to have
23:11
Speaker 4: that kind of achievement recognized in the same context as
23:15
Speaker 4: you know, other partners getting engaged and having babies, that
23:20
Speaker 4: just really showed me that, Yeah, like I wish I
23:23
Speaker 4: guess more people got to experience that, but it's like
23:26
Speaker 4: really not that it's not hard, but it just was
23:29
Speaker 4: awesome for me to be like, that's so cool and
23:31
Speaker 4: people messaging being like congrats Bridget, like that's awesome, and
23:34
Speaker 4: they're all getting around me, and yeah, it was nice
23:37
Speaker 4: to feel that, you know, you can still be celebrated
23:41
Speaker 4: for the things, because that is a you know, and
23:42
Speaker 4: you guys are the same. To release a book like
23:44
Speaker 4: that is a huge achievement for us. And the only
23:49
Speaker 4: you know, it shouldn't be kids owning a house or
23:51
Speaker 4: getting married or engaged to be the only things that
23:54
Speaker 4: are worthy of celebrations, you know. So again, yeah, broadening
23:58
Speaker 4: our idea of what wins are and we're just making
24:02
Speaker 4: the effort to be aware of what winds are for
24:04
Speaker 4: people because they are different.
24:06
Speaker 1: For it, also knowing what your wins are for yourself,
24:08
Speaker 1: like writing those out and understanding what you find as
24:12
Speaker 1: a win and making sure that it can look different,
24:15
Speaker 1: and like giving yourself permission to celebrate those things.
24:17
Speaker 5: You know what I love.
24:18
Speaker 1: I love when women have divorce parties.
24:20
Speaker 3: Oh yeah them first up.
24:23
Speaker 4: And I think you need to be careful of you know,
24:26
Speaker 4: being like toxic positivity on it too, But I guess
24:29
Speaker 4: from my experience, I just I just see it as
24:31
Speaker 4: an opportunity and like without being cringe, like break up, breakthrough,
24:36
Speaker 4: you know, like it is just such an important time
24:39
Speaker 4: and you have so much that you can actually gain
24:42
Speaker 4: from it. And I do wish more women were able
24:45
Speaker 4: to see that, but again completely understand it's.
24:47
Speaker 1: A hindsight nine and it comes like at least six
24:52
Speaker 1: months later and you're like, holy shit, yeah, but you'll
24:56
Speaker 1: like be in a situation but this didn't have This
24:59
Speaker 1: wouldn't have happened unless that happened. Yeah, and you're like, ah,
25:02
Speaker 1: vibes slate, let's get into work.
25:07
Speaker 5: Yeah.
25:07
Speaker 2: This was another popular question that we had coming through
25:10
Speaker 2: and something that you speak about in the book and
25:14
Speaker 2: have spoken about quite a bit. So you also had
25:17
Speaker 2: a huge career change around the time of your thirtieth
25:21
Speaker 2: birthday as well. Can you talk us through that and
25:24
Speaker 2: give some advice for people who are thinking of making
25:28
Speaker 2: a career switch in their thirties because it can be
25:31
Speaker 2: really intimidating.
25:32
Speaker 3: Yeah.
25:33
Speaker 4: Well, I mean starting my thirties freshly dumped was big enough.
25:40
Speaker 4: But then when I turned thirty one, I was like,
25:42
Speaker 4: let's you know, fuck things around a little bit more
25:44
Speaker 4: and quit my job that I've worked really hard on
25:47
Speaker 4: and you know, making that grind. I think it was
25:51
Speaker 4: like six years of unpaid work to get up to
25:55
Speaker 4: that point to have a full time you know, national
25:59
Speaker 4: radio show and a job that I deeply loved the
26:03
Speaker 4: program that I was hosting Good Nights, I you know,
26:05
Speaker 4: oh still love it.
26:07
Speaker 3: I mean like they've asked it now. When I found
26:08
Speaker 3: out that.
26:08
Speaker 4: They are, when they acted and I cried, I was like,
26:12
Speaker 4: this is really heartbreaking for me because I just I,
26:16
Speaker 4: you know, the legacy of that program beyond my five
26:18
Speaker 4: years hosting like Linda Mariano, who I icon't, yeah, icon't,
26:22
Speaker 4: and just you know, being someone who listened to that
26:25
Speaker 4: program as a music fan and a listener before Triple
26:28
Speaker 4: J and then being able to host it. But yeah,
26:32
Speaker 4: I just was you know at that point where I,
26:35
Speaker 4: as much as I loved that program, the developments for
26:40
Speaker 4: me at the station was it just wasn't happening. And
26:45
Speaker 4: I really saw, you know, I felt it's funny.
26:50
Speaker 3: I felt like externally valued.
26:55
Speaker 4: Not to say that I felt completely not valued there,
26:58
Speaker 4: but I felt very over looked as a music presenter,
27:02
Speaker 4: and I resented the programming hierarchy and you know, Brecky
27:08
Speaker 4: and Drive getting all the interviews just because they have
27:11
Speaker 4: those slots. It was never about who was who would
27:16
Speaker 4: be the best presenter to interview that person. I think
27:19
Speaker 4: it has changed now since I left, and I'm not
27:22
Speaker 4: taking you know.
27:24
Speaker 3: Credit for that.
27:24
Speaker 4: But I did like request like an exit interview when
27:27
Speaker 4: I quit, because I had so much feedback that I
27:30
Speaker 4: wanted to tell management because I already knew some other
27:33
Speaker 4: presenters who were, you know, a little bit fresher than
27:37
Speaker 4: me already was starting to feel that and feeling a
27:40
Speaker 4: little bit defeated, and I just wanted things to change
27:42
Speaker 4: for them because I, you know, I love seeing people
27:45
Speaker 4: who were so passionate about music, and I mean everyone
27:48
Speaker 4: who works there loves music.
27:49
Speaker 3: But anyway, I just felt like I couldn't see where.
27:53
Speaker 5: I was going next.
27:54
Speaker 4: I did, you know, want to actually get into programming
27:57
Speaker 4: at some point, but that kind of yeah, it was
28:01
Speaker 4: not embraced.
28:02
Speaker 3: I suppose.
28:04
Speaker 4: And so I had a contract negotiation and unfortunately it
28:09
Speaker 4: was shit, and it was just like a tipping point
28:11
Speaker 4: for me, and I was like, I quit. I never
28:16
Speaker 4: thought that that would be. I actually thought I'd stay
28:18
Speaker 4: on for one more year, but and I was going
28:22
Speaker 4: to nothing as well. I think it's, yeah, it's a
28:24
Speaker 4: very unique situation when you leave your job for nothing.
28:28
Speaker 1: I don't think it's that unique though, in terms of like, yes,
28:31
Speaker 1: it's a very very big, daunting thing, but I think
28:34
Speaker 1: it's something that we're seeing and we get messages so
28:38
Speaker 1: much now because that's part of what is really scary
28:43
Speaker 1: for people is it's they're in this job, they're in
28:45
Speaker 1: this career, and whether it's the industry that they're in,
28:50
Speaker 1: or whether it's that specific role within that company that
28:54
Speaker 1: they just don't.
28:55
Speaker 5: Want to do it anymore.
28:56
Speaker 1: But they've invested all of this time, and it's like,
28:59
Speaker 1: but I don't, like, I just want to get out,
29:01
Speaker 1: and like they've kind of made that decision, but they
29:04
Speaker 1: don't know one what they want to do next, or
29:07
Speaker 1: they don't have anything lined up, So like, how do
29:10
Speaker 1: you find the confidence to just say like no more? Yeah.
29:15
Speaker 4: Again, it's different for everyone and dependent on your field.
29:19
Speaker 4: But I guess what what I love about that is
29:22
Speaker 4: people are obviously valuing their happiness and fulfillment more than
29:25
Speaker 4: ever in a career context, and you can really link
29:29
Speaker 4: it back to relationships and like not settling with that
29:32
Speaker 4: obviously comes a lot of privilege.
29:33
Speaker 3: There are people who.
29:34
Speaker 4: Just simply have to stay in these jobs that they
29:36
Speaker 4: hate to survive. So I had a lot of privilege
29:39
Speaker 4: and that I knew that I could make it work,
29:42
Speaker 4: but I hadn't really spent It's not like I planned it,
29:46
Speaker 4: you know. It was actually really an impulsive thing. I
29:49
Speaker 4: didn't expect to quit, but I was so fucked off
29:52
Speaker 4: that I was like nah. And then I remember telling
29:56
Speaker 4: my mum and she was like, do what makes you happy?
29:58
Speaker 4: I spoke to Oscar, and being the legit cook king
30:00
Speaker 4: that he is, was like, you know, obviously support you,
30:03
Speaker 4: but just did maybe just like book in with your
30:05
Speaker 4: accountant first and just you know, make sure you know clever,
30:08
Speaker 4: not you know, a completely silly thing to do. Unfortunately,
30:12
Speaker 4: my accountant was like, yeah, I thought you'd be doing
30:14
Speaker 4: this six months ago, like, you know, thankfully for me
30:17
Speaker 4: and in you know, the field that like I'm in,
30:20
Speaker 4: I guess, and I already had how to end.
30:23
Speaker 2: Oh.
30:23
Speaker 4: And I kind of made that effort to have an
30:27
Speaker 4: identity outside of Triple J. And I think, you know,
30:31
Speaker 4: for any kind of job that's really important, it's hard
30:35
Speaker 4: because we do spend so much time working, especially if
30:38
Speaker 4: we do love it, you know, and we're proud of it.
30:41
Speaker 3: You know.
30:41
Speaker 4: I was very proud to work there, but I also
30:44
Speaker 4: knew there would be limitations post Triple J, and I
30:48
Speaker 4: was kind of just getting to that stage there, and
30:51
Speaker 4: I guess that age where I wanted to start thinking
30:54
Speaker 4: about the next steps, but again, probably would have loved
30:57
Speaker 4: a little bit more time to kind of think it out.
30:58
Speaker 4: But yeah, I just, you know, went out into freelancing
31:01
Speaker 4: and just I guess made it work because I had
31:03
Speaker 4: no choice but to make it work. And that's why
31:05
Speaker 4: I have to be a real chaser with.
31:07
Speaker 3: Us, you know us yea rent.
31:11
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, it is like a survival thing too, Yeah,
31:15
Speaker 4: very much so. But I totally empathize with all the
31:20
Speaker 4: things that people kind of grapple with because when you
31:22
Speaker 4: do spend so much time getting to that point, whether
31:25
Speaker 4: it's you know, doing a four year Uni degree, being
31:28
Speaker 4: like thousands of dollars in hexstead or for me, you know,
31:31
Speaker 4: doing that six odd year grind. I mean I've been
31:34
Speaker 4: music presenting a music presenter for over a decade now,
31:37
Speaker 4: but you do tend to look back at everything that
31:39
Speaker 4: you've invested into that and you don't want to feel
31:42
Speaker 4: like you've wasted.
31:43
Speaker 3: Time or regretted it.
31:45
Speaker 4: And I don't, you know, like because it's opened so
31:47
Speaker 4: many other doors.
31:49
Speaker 3: But it's scary, but.
31:50
Speaker 4: I just want people to know that it's never too late.
31:53
Speaker 4: You know, it's never too late to switch lanes, to
31:57
Speaker 4: try something new. I met a girl recently who's the
32:01
Speaker 4: partner of a friend who used to work at Triple
32:03
Speaker 4: J actually, and she was a journalist and you know,
32:07
Speaker 4: she did that big grind, but now she's studying to
32:11
Speaker 4: be a primary school teacher.
32:12
Speaker 5: I love that.
32:13
Speaker 4: She was like, you know what, I You know, this
32:15
Speaker 4: has been the dream job in many aspects, but I
32:19
Speaker 4: am exhausted and I think that I could really add
32:24
Speaker 4: value in that field. So she's moved from Sydney to
32:27
Speaker 4: Perth and she's back at UNI and she's so.
32:31
Speaker 3: Excited and she's gonna be a great teacher. But you know,
32:33
Speaker 3: it's never too late.
32:34
Speaker 1: To do that stuff.
32:35
Speaker 2: In your book, you actually share a list of famous
32:38
Speaker 2: people who started their careers after turning thirty.
32:42
Speaker 5: Can you share that with us. You're a bit of
32:43
Speaker 5: inspiration for the jigs.
32:45
Speaker 4: Let's go through the list. Let me pull her up.
32:47
Speaker 4: There is quite a few examples, and they're wonderful. So
32:51
Speaker 4: famous women who made their career after thirty. Oprah Winfrey
32:55
Speaker 4: launched the Oprah Winfrey Show at age thirty two.
32:59
Speaker 1: Wow.
32:59
Speaker 3: I launched it last year. Crazy Kristin wig.
33:03
Speaker 4: We've just had the SNL fifty celebrations, which means so fun.
33:06
Speaker 4: I love Saturday Night Live. She debuted on the show
33:09
Speaker 4: at thirty six.
33:11
Speaker 3: No way, yep, pretty cool.
33:14
Speaker 4: Debbie Harry ak Blondie, I'm sure you love my girl
33:20
Speaker 4: launched that project at thirty.
33:21
Speaker 5: One and a style icon music park on to this day.
33:25
Speaker 3: The rest is history.
33:26
Speaker 4: I love this about in the world of like fashion,
33:29
Speaker 4: Vera Wang. Okay, so before that she was a fashion designer,
33:35
Speaker 4: she was an ice skater and a journalist. But she
33:39
Speaker 4: designed her first dress at the age of forty. That
33:42
Speaker 4: is incredible, amazing, so cool and Vivian Westwood. So she
33:47
Speaker 4: quit teaching at thirty to pursue fashion designs. So went
33:51
Speaker 4: and studied that Jane Austin. I didn't actually know this
33:56
Speaker 4: so first novel Sense and Sensibility. Guess how old she
33:59
Speaker 4: was when it came out?
34:00
Speaker 3: Thirty eight thirty six close? Yeah, yeah, but I think.
34:05
Speaker 4: That I thought she would have been like twenty one,
34:08
Speaker 4: really young. I don't know why, but I just was
34:10
Speaker 4: really surprised to hear.
34:11
Speaker 5: So imagine that being her debut.
34:15
Speaker 1: She's kind of hot.
34:15
Speaker 5: Hit it out of the past.
34:16
Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure, there's definitely this notion, especially with social
34:21
Speaker 1: media and TikTok stars, and not to take away from them,
34:25
Speaker 1: but we see a lot of young celebrities now that
34:30
Speaker 1: I think when we're older and we're like, oh, fuck,
34:33
Speaker 1: like I didn't do that, I should have done this,
34:35
Speaker 1: I should have done that, and set myself up for
34:36
Speaker 1: all these things that when you see a list like that,
34:39
Speaker 1: you're like, it really does kind of like wipe the
34:42
Speaker 1: slate clean in your brain, being like, yeah, I can.
34:44
Speaker 4: Yeah change And I love there's two more recent examples
34:47
Speaker 4: that I really love and beyond the fact that they're
34:50
Speaker 4: both in the music world. But Amy Shark she released
34:53
Speaker 4: a Door, which is you know, her breakthrough single was
34:57
Speaker 4: absolutely massive. She was thirty when that came and it
35:00
Speaker 4: was dubbed her breakthrough. She was actually you know, the
35:03
Speaker 4: commentary around her was like overnight success, but she was
35:06
Speaker 4: grinding for like ten years before that. You know, about
35:10
Speaker 4: the year before that song came out, she emailed dom Alessio,
35:14
Speaker 4: who used to host Home and host on Triple J,
35:16
Speaker 4: and she was like, what am I doing wrong? You know,
35:18
Speaker 4: like none of my songs are getting airplay? And then
35:22
Speaker 4: Odoor was the next single and it just you know,
35:24
Speaker 4: skyrocketed her. Ye, Charlie XCX, I think is a great example.
35:29
Speaker 5: Finally getting her flowers.
35:31
Speaker 4: Yes, she's thirty two, and you know she's we've known
35:33
Speaker 4: her for a while, like she's been on you know,
35:35
Speaker 4: some main she's kind of flirted in the mainstream.
35:38
Speaker 1: You know.
35:39
Speaker 4: I love it Boom boom clap fancy with Iggy's eliaeteen.
35:45
Speaker 5: Ninety nine and like all the Collapse with Troy.
35:47
Speaker 4: Yeah, but Brat is her most commercially successful record. It's
35:53
Speaker 4: the record that's won her her first Grammys, and now
35:57
Speaker 4: she's headlining festivals and she's thirty who you know, I.
36:01
Speaker 1: Just looked it up then. And Rebecca Yaros, who wrote
36:04
Speaker 1: Fourth Wing, which is like the best selling fantasy.
36:09
Speaker 5: Series of the year.
36:10
Speaker 1: If not, I would put it up there with books
36:12
Speaker 1: this year is forty three.
36:14
Speaker 3: Wow. And that came out in twenty twenty three.
36:16
Speaker 2: Wo.
36:17
Speaker 1: So yeah, women can have so much success. Yeah, after
36:21
Speaker 1: the age of thirty forty fifty.
36:23
Speaker 5: Yeah, Like I love that.
36:26
Speaker 1: I want to kick a door off its hinges.
36:27
Speaker 5: Yeah, your life doesn't end at thirty.
36:29
Speaker 3: It's really only justly.
36:31
Speaker 5: There's also this quote.
36:32
Speaker 1: And it was like, why do you think adulthood and
36:35
Speaker 1: fun ends at thirty when that was your first decade
36:38
Speaker 1: of being an adult. Yeah, and when money only had
36:40
Speaker 1: you only You've only had one decade of being an
36:43
Speaker 1: adult and you're done.
36:45
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah, I don't know.
36:47
Speaker 4: And how how because you still have so much to experience,
36:50
Speaker 4: which travel or you know, gaining those new skills of
36:54
Speaker 4: being exposed to a particular field, Like I just don't Yeah,
36:58
Speaker 4: it's crazy that we've like we've just had to, you know,
37:02
Speaker 4: have it sorted and locked in by by thirty, all.
37:06
Speaker 1: That you don't have time to experience other things. Because
37:09
Speaker 1: a very common thing we got sent in of was
37:12
Speaker 1: feeling like I wasted my twenties. We would you say
37:15
Speaker 1: to someone that felt like they wasted their twenties by
37:17
Speaker 1: not doing enough?
37:18
Speaker 4: I mean, look, I don't want to say no regrets.
37:23
Speaker 4: I just think everything's a lesson though, Like I would
37:26
Speaker 4: never look back on my twenties and think I should
37:30
Speaker 4: have done more. I think and I also am able
37:34
Speaker 4: to kind of give myself I guess that compassion and
37:36
Speaker 4: be like, well that's how I was feeling at the time.
37:39
Speaker 4: I can't change that. And yeah, I've never kind of
37:42
Speaker 4: looked back on my twenties and felt like I should
37:45
Speaker 4: have done something differently, or that I wasted time. I
37:48
Speaker 4: think everything always will lead you. Everything's led you to
37:52
Speaker 4: where you are now, and we're in pretty good positions.
37:55
Speaker 3: I agree.
37:56
Speaker 1: I also think if you felt like you should have
37:59
Speaker 1: done things in your twenties that you haven't done yet,
38:02
Speaker 1: maybe your twenties was about building the confidence and the
38:05
Speaker 1: life experience to approach those things.
38:07
Speaker 5: That you want to do.
38:08
Speaker 1: But I want to ask you a quick fire round
38:11
Speaker 1: of dating and your thirties. I know we've touched on
38:14
Speaker 1: it a little bit, yep, Okay, what are your thoughts
38:18
Speaker 1: on age gaps and dating younger in your thirties?
38:21
Speaker 3: So fine, Oscar's five years younger? I think it.
38:26
Speaker 4: Yeah, is really just a number, and I think there's
38:28
Speaker 4: a lot to be gained in terms of what you
38:29
Speaker 4: can learn from them as well.
38:31
Speaker 3: So I'm so here for it.
38:33
Speaker 5: I love that.
38:34
Speaker 3: Yeah.
38:34
Speaker 1: Okay, super popular question. What are your top three tips
38:37
Speaker 1: on being single in your thirties?
38:39
Speaker 4: Okay, Well, the first one that comes to mind was
38:42
Speaker 4: one that I felt quite deeply was don't feel pressured
38:45
Speaker 4: to When we say be single, we do tend to
38:48
Speaker 4: visualize that we're going out all the time that we're
38:51
Speaker 4: building our roster and.
38:52
Speaker 5: That way Samantha Jones.
38:53
Speaker 4: Yeah, and honestly, I love her And if you want
38:57
Speaker 4: to do that, fine, But also some people don't want
39:01
Speaker 4: to or feel comfortable. And I thought that I would
39:04
Speaker 4: be going on a fucking spray when I was single,
39:07
Speaker 4: but then I just realized I don't feel ready or comfortable,
39:11
Speaker 4: and that's okay. Like, just because you were single doesn't
39:15
Speaker 4: mean you have to go and do those things. You know,
39:18
Speaker 4: and even if you want to go out and have
39:21
Speaker 4: fun and you do want to find someone but you don't, like,
39:23
Speaker 4: don't beat yourself up about it. There is no one
39:26
Speaker 4: textbook way to be single, just like there's no one
39:29
Speaker 4: textbook way to be in a relationship, and you just
39:32
Speaker 4: have to really tap into, you know, your instinct and
39:35
Speaker 4: how you're feeling, and it may not be feeling the
39:38
Speaker 4: way that you thought you'd be feeling. Like like I said,
39:40
Speaker 4: I thought that I would be going out doing all
39:42
Speaker 4: those things, but then I was like, nah, I just
39:45
Speaker 4: don't want to.
39:47
Speaker 3: But I think people expected that of me. But I
39:49
Speaker 3: was fine.
39:50
Speaker 4: I was on the apps, but I kind of treated
39:52
Speaker 4: a lot of the conversations just as little steps for
39:55
Speaker 4: personal development because I just felt like I had to
39:57
Speaker 4: unpack a lot of shit. So don't feel pressured to
39:59
Speaker 4: like go back someone.
40:02
Speaker 3: Want to bang away?
40:05
Speaker 2: You know? Okay, And you interviewed a neuropsychologist, doctor Hannah Coral,
40:11
Speaker 2: who likens friendships to a solar system. Can you give
40:15
Speaker 2: us a quick run through about what this means and
40:17
Speaker 2: how it can affect friendships as an adult.
40:19
Speaker 4: I love when she said it because it's so easy
40:21
Speaker 4: to visualize, right, these cute little planets just in orbit,
40:25
Speaker 4: And essentially it is just acknowledging that sometimes you may
40:28
Speaker 4: not be in orbit with another friend and that's not
40:32
Speaker 4: always a bad thing. I think, Look, it's each situation
40:38
Speaker 4: is different. But I found that I had a lot
40:40
Speaker 4: of peace kind of when she when she said that
40:44
Speaker 4: just knowing that although you may not be in orbit
40:47
Speaker 4: doesn't mean you have to be like angry at each
40:50
Speaker 4: other or but you don't have to have you know,
40:52
Speaker 4: it's not it doesn't have to be a bad thing, right,
40:55
Speaker 4: So you can be happy for them if they're you know,
40:58
Speaker 4: doing their own thing and you're doing your own thing,
41:01
Speaker 4: and you might come back in orbit at another point
41:04
Speaker 4: in life. But yeah, I just think that was a
41:07
Speaker 4: really nice way of kind of framing it.
41:10
Speaker 3: Can you like see it? Yes, Yeah, and it makes sense.
41:13
Speaker 1: It's why you know, I think in the book we
41:15
Speaker 1: called it track changes, and it's when you, you know,
41:18
Speaker 1: have your high school friends, you're in orbit. Then you
41:21
Speaker 1: get a job and you're working full time with people,
41:23
Speaker 1: and then you kind of spend a little bit more
41:24
Speaker 1: time with them, and then that's your orbital. Maybe you
41:27
Speaker 1: move to a different country and like maybe it's a
41:30
Speaker 1: bit of a slower orbit, like with some friends that
41:33
Speaker 1: you talk maybe once a month on the phone.
41:35
Speaker 5: But I like it because I can visualize it too.
41:37
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I do think like it's always relevant, I think,
41:41
Speaker 2: no matter what stage of your life you're in, but.
41:44
Speaker 5: Especially in your thirties.
41:45
Speaker 3: Oh yeah.
41:46
Speaker 2: As more people are getting married, having children, perhaps regressing
41:49
Speaker 2: in their career, moving away, these separate orbits are happening
41:53
Speaker 2: more and more, I feel, And it's becoming secure within
41:57
Speaker 2: that in yourself. Yes, knowing that friendships do ebb and
42:02
Speaker 2: flow and that they will exist in different orbits, but
42:04
Speaker 2: that doesn't discount what they meant to you or what
42:07
Speaker 2: they will mean to you going forward. We have to
42:08
Speaker 2: finish off with our final question, what's your biggest life
42:13
Speaker 2: lesson in your thirties so far?
42:14
Speaker 4: Oh Man, I think it is, you know, and it's
42:17
Speaker 4: probably in relation to that as well, and what you
42:20
Speaker 4: said al about that kind of secure place of understanding,
42:24
Speaker 4: just understanding that we are all navigating shit and we
42:29
Speaker 4: definitely just need to go a little bit easy on
42:32
Speaker 4: ourselves and yet within our relationships too, because we are
42:36
Speaker 4: all really just trying to figure it out. And so
42:40
Speaker 4: that's probably been the best thing is to make peace
42:44
Speaker 4: with that. And I think as well, one of the
42:47
Speaker 4: biggest life lessons was just taking time to figure out
42:51
Speaker 4: my values and actually what I, you know, value moving
42:54
Speaker 4: forward and what that looks like in feeling a bit
42:58
Speaker 4: more fulfilled and content. And I did that session with
43:02
Speaker 4: my psychologist. She spread out like eighty fucking cards on
43:05
Speaker 4: the floor.
43:05
Speaker 3: It was really fun. It was like a game, but
43:07
Speaker 3: then it got really hard.
43:08
Speaker 4: So we kind of put values in different sections like important,
43:13
Speaker 4: not important, important, really important, And the only two that
43:15
Speaker 4: I could remember in the really important, which was out
43:19
Speaker 4: of ten, I think from the eighty four, the two
43:21
Speaker 4: that I will always remember is just fun and inner piece,
43:25
Speaker 4: and those just the two things that I want to
43:27
Speaker 4: keep front of mind with like everything that I do,
43:31
Speaker 4: and sometimes I won't be good at it, but I think.
43:32
Speaker 1: It's just north Star.
43:34
Speaker 4: Yeah, just you know, coming to know that, and yeah,
43:38
Speaker 4: I think that's been a really nice lesson and realization
43:42
Speaker 4: in my thirties.
43:43
Speaker 1: I loved it.
43:44
Speaker 3: Never too late.
43:45
Speaker 2: Yeah, thank you so much for coming on the show again.
43:48
Speaker 2: Bridget has been an absolute pleasure. But for the chickies
43:51
Speaker 2: who don't already know where can I find you?
43:54
Speaker 4: I'm on Instagram at Bridge pas to eight and yeah,
43:58
Speaker 4: I'm just kind of working there.
43:59
Speaker 5: Yeah, and go by Bridget the book.
44:00
Speaker 3: In the book that you guys kindly endorsed, thank you
44:02
Speaker 3: for reading it early.
44:03
Speaker 5: Of course, of course I was. Honestly I was like
44:06
Speaker 5: vip accent.
44:10
Speaker 2: Well, thank you so much for coming on, and thank
44:12
Speaker 2: you to m ik Made for making today's episode happen,
44:15
Speaker 2: and to your chicks for having us in ear holes.
44:17
Speaker 5: We love to be here. Kisses, bye chick Bye. By