Latest / Brett Keane and Eve Show / Rip Robert Carradine, Bipolar disorder, manic-depressive illness, mania, hypomania, Insomnia

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Rip Robert Carradine, Bipolar disorder, manic-depressive illness, mania, hypomania, Insomnia · Brett Keane and Eve Show

• 1:02
  dirt. Well, hello ladies and
• 1:05
  gentlemen, my name is Brett Keene from GOD TV Radio.
• 1:08
  I hope you're all having a blessed day.
• 1:11
  When you get an opportunity, check out my radio show or on
• 1:14
  Spotify along with my artist page where you can enjoy my
• 1:18
  music, my brother Justin Keene, my sister Dana Keene, as well as
• 1:22
  my other friends, bandmates, and associates.
• 1:26
  All right, so all links will be in comments and description.
• 1:30
  Today we've got some sad news. Apparently, Robert Carradine
• 1:34
  ended up passing away from unaliving himself.
• 1:38
  There's not a whole lot of information about how he did it
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  or what was the process or anything, but he did.
• 1:45
  His family says that he's been suffering from bipolar manic
• 1:49
  depression for a long time now. The story doesn't just hit me
• 1:54
  because I liked him as an actor. I actually grew up watching him
• 1:59
  on a series called Revenge of the Nerds.
• 2:03
  He's also done other parts and movies and shows and all that,
• 2:07
  but that's what I remember him starting out on.
• 2:10
  It was also the first time I was introduced to bands like Queen.
• 2:14
  Yeah, a lot of you grew up watching Wayne's World and got
• 2:18
  to see that, and that's where you heard of Fred Mercury.
• 2:21
  Revenge of the Nerds actually had a bunch of Queen songs, and
• 2:25
  that's what got me into it. I liked him.
• 2:28
  I thought he was a good actor. He was interesting, he was
• 2:31
  funny, and a lot of you may not know this, but he's also the
• 2:35
  brother of David Carradine, who died a while back.
• 2:38
  David Carradine was the guy that was in Kill Bill.
• 2:42
  He was basically Bill and he also played the Zen master Kung
• 2:46
  Fu martial artist and the show Kung Fu and what other other
• 2:53
  titles they gave it. So when a person has bipolar
• 2:58
  manic depression, which I have bipolar manic depression, I have
• 3:01
  family members that have it and I've had families that I'm alive
• 3:05
  themselves as well. Here's the symptoms of it.
• 3:08
  Here's what a person goes through that has it Feeling
• 3:12
  euphoric, overly happy, or extremely irritable.
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  Increased energy, restlessness or feeling wired.
• 3:21
  Reduced need for sleep, feeling rested after only a few hours,
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  racing thoughts, rapid speech. It's like having like a million
• 3:31
  things going on in your head at once and it makes it extremely
• 3:35
  hard to concentrate on what's happening.
• 3:39
  Like one of the problems I have is I have a hard time just
• 3:44
  concentrating on simple things like dates and times unless I'm
• 3:51
  I've got a reminder or something.
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  My brain could actually go past it and it would make people have
• 3:57
  the implication that I have memory issues or something like
• 4:00
  that. It's not.
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  It's just that I've got 100 million things going on in my
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  head. I can't always remember
• 4:06
  everything, but that's what that's like.
• 4:09
  And then there's the rapid speech.
• 4:12
  It depends on what I'm feeling like Whenever I'm down in the
• 4:15
  dumps, I speak slower, more drawn out.
• 4:19
  Or if I'm kind of in the middle, neutral, I'm kind of chilled,
• 4:23
  relaxed, monotone. But you will watch some videos
• 4:28
  where you're like, whoa, check it out.
• 4:29
  Brad Keane's talking really fast and he's hitting it.
• 4:33
  That depends on if I'm going through my chemical high.
• 4:37
  Yeah. Your brain produces chemistry
• 4:39
  that causes you to be very energetic.
• 4:44
  Sorry I got a little bit of a cough.
• 4:47
  Impulsativity or judgement? Reckless spending, risky
• 4:51
  behaviors, sudden big decisions. I've made a lot of big decisions
• 4:56
  in my life. Problem with it is, is that if
• 4:59
  you make decisions, the bipolar meant depression can cause you
• 5:04
  to lose the desire to complete or commit whatever it was you
• 5:09
  were doing. I myself, I haven't had the same
• 5:13
  issue as other people. Whenever I get to a point where
• 5:17
  I say I'm bored of something, I'm getting tired of it, I just
• 5:21
  put it away for a little while until I get back to having my,
• 5:26
  you know, more energetic high and then I return to it.
• 5:29
  But I won't throw it away or damage it or completely give up
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  on it. I'll just wait until my brain is
• 5:35
  ready. I've got a pretty good idea of
• 5:38
  how my depression works, so whenever I'm riding the the the
• 5:44
  good part of it, I just simply wait until those days in order
• 5:49
  to continue my commitments. On the bad days where you're
• 5:53
  feeling like that's the end of the world, well, fuck, you get
• 5:57
  you some sleep. You relax, take a walk, do shit
• 6:00
  like that and try to distract yourself with activities or
• 6:05
  whatever. Music has been very helpful
• 6:08
  towards that. Drawing, doing artwork work,
• 6:12
  working on websites, designing shit, that kind of stuff takes
• 6:16
  my mind off a lot of stuff. So I don't, I don't have
• 6:21
  extended manic episodes like other people do because there's
• 6:26
  always something I'm thinking about, believe it or not, making
• 6:29
  videos and a lot of people say, bro, why do you?
• 6:33
  They used to say, why do you make so many damn videos and all
• 6:36
  that? Well, when you got a lot of shit
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  on your mind, whether you think people are going to like what
• 6:42
  you have to say or not, you just want to get it out.
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  You just, it feels like your head's going to fucking explode
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  if you don't like vent it or get it out.
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  And unfortunately you're going to talk about a lot of things, a
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  lot of things that are fucking with you.
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  Like I could scroll through a feed for about 5-10 minutes and
• 7:01
  come up with 100 different topics and 100 different videos.
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  It's the reason why I've never become non creative.
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  I always have something to say. Even my brother was telling me
• 7:11
  he goes. You know Brad, I can come up
• 7:14
  with music all day, but when it comes to lyrics and doing a song
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  and shit, it's like you're able to come up with something about
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  anything. Well, I'm constantly, it's like
• 7:25
  my eyelids are stapled open and I see everything around me.
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  I'm highly sensitive to the news and everything that's going on
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  in the world. So I guess you get all that shit
• 7:37
  in your fucking head and eventually you're going to have
• 7:39
  to get it out some way. As far as poor judgement, yeah,
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  that's been bad for me. I've trusted people, I've
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  respected people, I've given people the benefit of the doubt.
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  I've done a whole lot of shit. And that's cost me big time cost
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  me reputation, caused me credibility, caused people to be
• 8:00
  mad if they thought that I was on the wrong side of history or
• 8:03
  that I was fighting for something that that necessarily
• 8:06
  necessarily need help just the way it is yeah made some poor
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  judgement causes this one right here Grandoise grandos beliefs
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  or inflated self esteem. I think that in some ways
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  there's probably going to be a lot of people out there who do
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  think that I have an inflated self esteem, but that's not
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  meant to because I actually woke up one day and said, yeah, I'm
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  the greatest thing in the world or whatever, or wonderful.
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  A person who has depression will eventually start thinking very
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  negatively and terrible about themselves.
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  They'll eventually start thinking that their life isn't
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  worth living or existing and it's a survival mechanism to
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  basically push this idea on yourself that you're worth it,
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  you're valuable. Fuck would anybody else think
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  so? You got to keep on going along
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  no matter if people like it or not.
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  And that's what I've had to do for myself.
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  In order to do it. You kind of got to put yourself
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  in a position where you say I am valuable, I am good.
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  That way when the lows hit, you can say, all right, I'm not
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  perfect, but you know, I'm still trying.
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  Even though life sucks, even though life is hard.
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  It's not really. I don't think it's really a
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  trait of bipolar man depression, even though it claims it's one
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  of the episode symptoms. It's more of a person who's
• 9:37
  trying in any way they possibly can to survive by creating
• 9:43
  either. You can call it an illusion if
• 9:45
  you want to, but to trick the brain and the believing that it
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  does have objective importance and purpose and all that shit.
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  Because if you don't and then that low hits you where you're
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  depressed and you think life ain't worth living if you don't
• 10:02
  have anything to grab onto, you're in fucking trouble.
• 10:10
  Some more of the symptoms is persistent sadness, hopelessness
• 10:15
  or emptiness. See, that comes whenever the
• 10:18
  symptoms are at their low value. And that's the reason why I do
• 10:22
  what I was talking about. Loss of interest or pleasure in
• 10:26
  activities. Yeah, that happens quite a bit.
• 10:29
  I'll be writing a book. I'll get like fucking many, many
• 10:33
  chapters in and suddenly I'm like, fuck, this is, you know,
• 10:38
  I'm not feeling it anymore. So what I do is I decide, all
• 10:43
  right, let's not stay on the original track that we were
• 10:46
  doing this book, ARN. Let's let's take the book into a
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  different level. Let's go somewhere else.
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  Let's focus on a character that I am interested in and we'll
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  work our way back. It feels a hell of a lot like
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  those big epic books of Stephen King or ATV show where you
• 11:04
  bounce from character to character like Star Trek.
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  Later on in the shows they were all interesting, but they
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  started spending more time on different characters and then
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  working their way around the clockwork to get back to the
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  other ship. And by that time, hopefully
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  you'll find the interest and desire to be able to further
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  that character or that storyline.
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  That's why my books are all over the fucking place.
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  I expect fatigue and low energy, always tired, very tired, always
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  low energy and shit. Not like in the Donald Trump low
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  energy, low IQ shit. You just feel really exhausted
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  mentally and emotionally after weeks or months of your brain
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  being pounded on by constant thoughts and the sensitivity of
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  what's going on in the world. It eventually gets you
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  emotionally, spiritually, and it starts affecting you physically
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  where you just feel like you got to stick your head into a
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  fucking pillow and scream and go to sleep.
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  Changes in appetite or weight? Well, lately I've been losing a
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  lot of weight because I haven't been feeling like eating, but
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  it's not just because of depression, it's also because I
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  just got over the norovirus. I lost quite a bit of weight.
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  I can actually see my Dick again whenever I look down and see my.
• 12:30
  The tips and the toes. How about that?
• 12:36
  All right, Sleep disturbances, insomnia are over sleeping.
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  Yeah, yeah. Insomnia.
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  There's many. I'm a night owl.
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  I like to do a lot of my work and a lot of my shit at night
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  time because of the concentration issues.
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  If I try to do things during the day when there's a bunch of
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  fucking noises outside of shit going on, it can quickly derail
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  me from whatever I'm trying to focus on.
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  Difficulty concentrating making decisions.
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  It's not with every kind of decision.
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  Some decisions are pretty cut and dry, but there's decisions
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  that are difficult whenever you're not as wealthy as people
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  like Mr. Carradine or some of the other people out there who
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  are celebrities and big time. You got to be very balanced with
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  your budget and all that. How much food do I plan on
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  getting? And I got to make sure I pay all
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  my bills and decisions like that.
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  Concentrating whenever you're getting a bunch of bills piled
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  on bullshit or you've committed yourself to a whole lot of
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  things that are overwhelming to you.
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  And the reason why a bipolar mant depressant gets overwhelmed
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  is because we're constantly trying to find ways to distract
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  ourselves from being either lonely, sad, or feeling empty.
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  So then we drop all the shit on ourselves.
• 14:09
  And it may seem like we're not committed to all of it, but a
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  lot of the reason why we get into something in the 1st place
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  is just to distract us from the condition.
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  So we try as we might to complete everything, but the
• 14:23
  main reason why it even started in the 1st place was simply to
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  take our mind off of the the fucking Satanism of the world
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  and the terribleness and the depression, the Nexus feelings
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  of worthlessness or excessive guilt.
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  Yeah, that ties right back into the whole trying to pump
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  yourself up or give yourself the illusion that you're more than
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  what you actually are. It's a defense mechanism to say,
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  look, I am great, I am wonderful, I am the sexy beast,
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  I am the fucking GOAT, I am the stallion and all that.
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  When deep down inside you do feel as a bipolar mant
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  depression that I am I really saying enough?
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  Am I really doing enough? You start really, really
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  criticizing yourself and doubting what you're worth is as
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  a person, as a human to everything.
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  Am I doing what I could have done?
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  Did I do enough? Blah, blah, blah.
• 15:22
  And that's another reason why we try to distract ourselves with
• 15:26
  that kind of shit. It's not that we're egomaniacs.
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  It's just to protect yourself. And then, of course, the last
• 15:33
  line is thoughts of death or I'm alive in yourself.
• 15:39
  Yeah, Yeah, I've had a, I've had quite a few run insurance, quite
• 15:44
  a few different moments where there's been thoughts like that.
• 15:50
  But I think for me, things are a little bit more, I think they're
• 15:57
  a little bit better because I do have a Good Wife and kids and I
• 16:01
  got decent siblings and all that kind of shit.
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  So being able to have them around me gives me further
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  meaning and purpose in my life and all that.
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  Where you know that it's not just you you're dealing with,
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  but you kind of see your the people around you as you love as
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  valuable enough to continue to exist and fight for them.
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  But there's some people that don't have that.
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  There's some celebrities out there who are extremely filthy
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  rich and they have all the money in the world, but they're very
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  fucking lonely. I mean, take Robert Carradine
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  for example, and some of these big time celebrities.
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  The problem with becoming famous is a lot of people pretend as
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  though they love you and they care about you and they're there
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  for you whenever you're ready to spend some fucking money on
• 16:50
  them. But the moment that you need to
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  talk to them about deep and dark shit that's going on, the demons
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  inside your soul, all of a sudden they're no longer wanting
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  to be there. All of a sudden they get busy or
• 17:03
  got shit to do. Being a it's funny how that what
• 17:07
  they call it. They say you're going to be in
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  the spotlight if you become famous.
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  Yeah, the spotlight of the media, whatever the media wants
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  to represent you as. And people are going to pretend
• 17:19
  to like you and love you and care about you just so they
• 17:22
  could get whatever they can out of you.
• 17:25
  And it's hard for a person like this who's going through all
• 17:28
  this bullshit, who's a celebrity.
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  Because if they find anybody out there, everybody's always got
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  this fucking bullshit delusion that if you're rich and famous,
• 17:40
  then your life must be great, that you have everything you
• 17:43
  want. But sometimes what people really
• 17:46
  want is love and they want to be held and they want to be hugged,
• 17:50
  not just fucked because they're a good looking actor.
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  Not just, you know, left out to dry, not just sitting there
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  their entire day waiting to receive that perfect script.
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  Sometimes the people that are big just want the simple things
• 18:07
  that normal people want. They just want to be loved and
• 18:10
  they want to be cared about. Not fucking worshipped or
• 18:13
  adored, but someone who lives to be with them and see with them.
• 18:18
  And believe it or not, a lot of celebrities don't have that.
• 18:22
  A lot of celebrities end up getting in relationships with
• 18:25
  other celebrities, and then those celebrities go on to do a
• 18:29
  movie that takes a year or two to finish and they don't hardly
• 18:33
  see their person. Then what happens is you hear in
• 18:37
  the newspapers, a celebrity got divorced or walked the fuck away
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  because they wanted somebody that was more generic, someone
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  who didn't have a whole lot of ambitions, someone that would
• 18:49
  just simply devote their life to them.
• 18:53
  And people could call that selfish if you want, but if
• 18:56
  you're a person who's already got a busy, tight schedule, the
• 18:59
  last thing you want is be involved with someone who also
• 19:03
  has a busy schedule that's so fucking busy you never see them.
• 19:07
  What's the point of a relationship if you're never
• 19:10
  going to be able to come home and find someone waiting for you
• 19:14
  whenever you lay down with them or have dinner?
• 19:20
  So the point of this, ladies and gentlemen, besides pointing out
• 19:25
  the sad news of what happened to these actors that I've been
• 19:28
  watching pull off like flies, is if you're suffering from
• 19:33
  depression, whether it's bipolar or not, you need to remind
• 19:39
  yourself of what you're good at and what you're what you're
• 19:43
  worth is you have to do that because life is like a roller
• 19:48
  coaster ride. It does have its ups and downs.
• 19:50
  There's no getting around it. It's almost like it's
• 19:53
  predestined that from beginning to end, that's what life was
• 19:57
  always meant to be a fucking roller coaster ride.
• 20:00
  Loops, curves, slamming you against the side of the
• 20:04
  carriage, all that shit. You just gotta.
• 20:08
  You got to realize that that's exactly what it is and there's
• 20:11
  no point in unbuckling yourself and jumping out early.
• 20:15
  Just take it to the end. You might as well because you
• 20:18
  only live once. Unless you want these fucking
• 20:21
  assholes out of your oblivion reincarnation.
• 20:24
  Just try to get as much out of life as you can, but do it in a
• 20:27
  way where it doesn't hurt other people and it'll be worth
• 20:33
  living. At least you can say whenever
• 20:36
  you're taking your last breath in the world that you
• 20:38
  experienced what you wanted or you you got to do some of the
• 20:42
  things you wanted to do. You got to feel, you got to
• 20:45
  breathe, you got you'd get to touch you got to Make Love to
• 20:49
  someone beautiful. These are the kind of things you
• 20:52
  need to think about. And if you have any like a wife,
• 20:56
  girlfriend or kids and shit, just think about you know what
• 21:00
  you mean to them and you're your necessary existence.
• 21:04
  That's how you pull through this shit.
• 21:07
  But I will tell you that the older you get, it gets harder as
• 21:13
  the brain starts to lose a lot of its control.
• 21:15
  When you get older and things start getting more fucking
• 21:18
  dodgy, it is more difficult. So you got to practice the
• 21:23
  control while you're young. You got to remind yourself that
• 21:27
  this isn't really what's going on.
• 21:29
  This is what some chemicals are doing to my fucking brain.
• 21:32
  This is what the evil is doing. You know, this is negative
• 21:38
  forces that I have no control over.
• 21:41
  If you remind yourself that it's not actually you, but it's just
• 21:44
  some bad juice going on and some bad fucking voodoo in the moment
• 21:48
  and that it'll pass, that's helpful.
• 21:52
  Well at least it is for me. God bless.
• 21:55
  I hope you enjoyed the video and learned something.
• 21:57
  I hope this helps people.