Latest / A Capture Deep Vibs A Positive Space For Inspiration And Embracing Of Heart / Reasons Why Best Friend Breakups Hurt
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: What do you do when your best friend isn't there anymore?
- 0:03Speaker 1: The truth is, friendship breakups don't get the same attention
- 0:06Speaker 1: as romantic breakups, even though they can hurt just as
- 0:10Speaker 1: much and sometimes even more. Losing a friend, especially someone
- 0:15Speaker 1: you thought would be in your life forever, can leave
- 0:17Speaker 1: you feeling hurt, confused, and lost. After all, this is
- 0:21Speaker 1: the person you always turn to when life's not going
- 0:24Speaker 1: your way. If they're not there anymore, then what do
- 0:27Speaker 1: you do? We believe that these types of breakups deserve
- 0:31Speaker 1: just as much attention and validation as breaking up with
- 0:33Speaker 1: your partner. If you're watching this after losing a friend,
- 0:36Speaker 1: we hope to make you feel understood and supported. Let's explore. One,
- 0:42Speaker 1: needing painkillers. Ever had a friendship and felt an actual
- 0:47Speaker 1: pain in your chest? According to neuroscience, your brain doesn't
- 0:51Speaker 1: know the difference between emotional pain and physical pain. One
- 0:55Speaker 1: study found that when you experience rejection, whether it's a breakup, ghosting,
- 1:00Speaker 1: or your bestie suddenly treating you like a stranger, there
- 1:03Speaker 1: are certain parts of your brain that get activated. These
- 1:06Speaker 1: parts are called the secondary somatosensory cortex and the dorsal
- 1:11Speaker 1: posterior insula. And they are responsible for experiencing actual physical pain.
- 1:17Speaker 1: This means that your brain registers this heartbreak the same
- 1:20Speaker 1: way it would register a broken leg. And yet, no
- 1:24Speaker 1: one's handing you painkillers and telling you to take it
- 1:26Speaker 1: easy for a few weeks. Instead, you get a few
- 1:28Speaker 1: standard responses such as, you'll make new friends, or it's
- 1:32Speaker 1: not like you were dating. But this ache you feel
- 1:35Speaker 1: in your body, your soul, and your heart, it's very real. Two,
- 1:41Speaker 1: who am I now? Your best friend wasn't just someone
- 1:44Speaker 1: you talked to every day, they were a part of
- 1:46Speaker 1: your identity. The inside jokes, favorite hangout spots, weird little
- 1:50Speaker 1: traditions no one else understood. Losing them doesn't just mean
- 1:54Speaker 1: losing a person, it means losing a version of yourself
- 1:57Speaker 1: that only existed with them. Psychologists believe that friendships are
- 2:01Speaker 1: crucial for identity formation, especially for teens and young adults.
- 2:06Speaker 1: So when a friendship ends, you might feel like you
- 2:09Speaker 1: don't even know who you are anymore. At first, your
- 2:13Speaker 1: habits and routines may start to feel strange. Maybe you
- 2:17Speaker 1: used to text them first thing in the morning or
- 2:19Speaker 1: meet up every weekend Without those interactions, it feels like
- 2:23Speaker 1: something is missing from your daily life. Your social identity
- 2:26Speaker 1: may be shaken as well. If you were the planner
- 2:30Speaker 1: in the friendship, or the funny one, or the go-to
- 2:33Speaker 1: for advice, you might start questioning that part of yourself.
- 2:36Speaker 1: Without them, you wonder, am I still that person? You
- 2:41Speaker 1: also might feel a loss of validation. Close friends mirror
- 2:44Speaker 1: back parts of ourselves, reinforcing our worth, strengths, and quirks.
- 2:49Speaker 1: When they're gone, that external validation disappears, and you may
- 2:53Speaker 1: struggle to feel as confident in yourself as before. This
- 2:57Speaker 1: is why friendship breakups hit so deep. They don't just
- 3:01Speaker 1: change your social life, they change your sense of self.
- 3:05Speaker 1: Number three, a stab in the back. But why do
- 3:08Speaker 1: these breakups even happen? According to one study, one of
- 3:12Speaker 1: the most common reasons for losing your friends is betrayal.
- 3:17Speaker 1: You trust this person, share your secrets, your jokes, even
- 3:20Speaker 1: your vulnerabilities. And then one day they break that trust.
- 3:25Speaker 1: Maybe they shared something, you confided in them, didn't show
- 3:28Speaker 1: up when you really needed them or acted like your
- 3:31Speaker 1: feelings didn't matter. And suddenly you're left replaying it all
- 3:35Speaker 1: in your head. How could they? Was I not enough?
- 3:39Speaker 1: Should I have seen this coming? Betrayal isn't just about
- 3:42Speaker 1: what they said, it's about what it takes from you.
- 3:46Speaker 1: Trust isn't an endless resource. It's something you build piece
- 3:49Speaker 1: by piece. And when something shatters it, it feels like
- 3:53Speaker 1: they've destroyed the foundation you built together. Psychologists even call
- 3:57Speaker 1: this betrayal trauma, a kind of emotional wound that cuts
- 4:00Speaker 1: deeper because it comes from someone you thought had your back.
- 4:04Speaker 1: The pain you're left with isn't just sadness. It's a
- 4:08Speaker 1: mix of confusion, anger, and that sinking feeling of being
- 4:12Speaker 1: let down by someone you once could count on. And
- 4:16Speaker 1: this feeling lingers on as you kept wondering if someone
- 4:19Speaker 1: else would do this again. Number four, left on read.
- 4:24Speaker 1: In contrast, your bestie can sometimes leave you hanging without
- 4:26Speaker 1: any apparent reason. No betrayal, no heated fights, no warning signs.
- 4:31Speaker 1: You're just left with silence, wondering what went wrong. And
- 4:35Speaker 1: all those times you got ghosted by a Tinder match
- 4:37Speaker 1: couldn't prepare you for this. But unfortunately, best friends can
- 4:41Speaker 1: turn into ghosts just as easily. Interestingly, one study found
- 4:45Speaker 1: that ghosting in friendships is driven by different reasons than
- 4:48Speaker 1: in romantic relationships. For example, one reason for ghosting in
- 4:52Speaker 1: dating is something called communication overload. Ghosters feel bombarded by
- 4:57Speaker 1: messages and decide to simply disappear. But it's something else
- 5:01Speaker 1: entirely when it comes to friends. If you were ever
- 5:04Speaker 1: ghosted by a friend at a time when you needed
- 5:06Speaker 1: the most, such as during a difficult family situation, they
- 5:10Speaker 1: might've felt like they were unable to give you the
- 5:12Speaker 1: right support. For some people, ghosting friends becomes a way
- 5:15Speaker 1: to avoid tough emotions. It's about feeling overwhelmed mentally or
- 5:21Speaker 1: emotionally and not having the tools to process it. Ghosting
- 5:25Speaker 1: becomes an escape route. Even though it hurts, try to
- 5:28Speaker 1: remember that it was never about you. The right friend
- 5:31Speaker 1: would find a healthier way to communicate instead of disappearing
- 5:34Speaker 1: without a word. Moving forward. If you're looking for ways
- 5:39Speaker 1: to cope with losing a friend, here are some practical
- 5:41Speaker 1: steps you can try. Write a goodbye letter, even if
- 5:45Speaker 1: you don't send it. Writing a letter can make you
- 5:48Speaker 1: make sense of your emotions. Process the loss and find closure.
- 5:54Speaker 1: Clarify your values. Even if they end, relationships teach us
- 5:57Speaker 1: a lot about ourselves and what we value. Take this
- 6:00Speaker 1: time to reflect on what did and didn't work in
- 6:03Speaker 1: your friendship and what you're looking for in future connections.
- 6:07Speaker 1: Embrace new opportunities. It's not without reason that it's said
- 6:13Speaker 1: when one door closes, another opens. Be on the lookout
- 6:16Speaker 1: for new things you can try out. Parties, classes, workshops.
- 6:21Speaker 1: You might meet someone new and exciting who shares your passions.
- 6:25Speaker 1: And seek support. It's completely okay to lean on somebody
- 6:28Speaker 1: if you're struggling on your own. Seek comfort in your
- 6:31Speaker 1: other friends, family, or a therapist if things get too
- 6:34Speaker 1: hard to handle. Do some of these points speak to you?
- 6:38Speaker 1: If you ever broke up with a friend, we'd love
- 6:40Speaker 1: to hear your experience. We'd also like you to know
- 6:43Speaker 1: that no matter how bad it hurts right now, these
- 6:45Speaker 1: breakups can teach you a lot about resilience. They can
- 6:49Speaker 1: show you that even through this pain, you're still able
- 6:51Speaker 1: to pick yourself up and hold your head high. As
- 6:55Speaker 1: you keep going through your life, you'll meet so many
- 6:57Speaker 1: different people. You'll hear so many amazing new stories, go
- 7:01Speaker 1: through all kinds of different adventures, And all those fun
- 7:04Speaker 1: people will quickly go from strangers to friends. You just
- 7:08Speaker 1: need to keep your heart open. And to get a
- 7:11Speaker 1: glimpse of what's waiting for you, take a look at
- 7:14Speaker 1: six types of best friends you'll make in your life.
- 7:17Speaker 1: Thanks so much for watching and take care.