Pizza Parlors and Phantom Cabals: The Congressional Theater of the Absurd (7/20/26)

Epstein Chronicles: The Archives · Jul 21, 2026 · 12m

Congress has turned “protect the children” into a traveling circus act, complete with red-faced speeches, pounding fists, and overblown warnings about pizza-parlor dungeons, haunted IKEA furniture, and elites guzzling adrenochrome. The performances are loud, absurd, and carefully staged for cameras and donors, casting lawmakers as fearless warriors battling phantoms that pose no real threat. Their crusade is nothing more than theater, a morality play designed to entertain and distract.

But when reality intrudes—when survivors present sworn testimony, when financial records and flight logs…