Latest / The Breakfast Club / Devi Brown Taps Into Spiritual Practices, Mindfulness, Healthy Boundaries, Self Acceptance + More

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Devi Brown Taps Into Spiritual Practices, Mindfulness, Healthy Boundaries, Self Acceptance + More · The Breakfast Club

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Wait that answer in the morning Breakfast Club Morning, Everybody's
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: DJ Envy angela Ye, Charlemagne the guy we are the
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: breakfast Club. We got a special guest in the ballots, right,
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: this divine being having a human experience, Master, well being, educator,
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: doom to keep going. Oh. She has many teaching certifications.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: She has many teaching certifications including meditation, breathwork and the Child,
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: healing and spiritual psychology. She's an energy healer. She hosting
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: leaves many spiritual spiritual retreats a year. She teaches in
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: God's Delhi Meditations on the Choper app. She advises on
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  Speaker 1: well being and teaches mindfulness for several corporations. She's an
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  Speaker 1: author of a book called Crystal Bliss, and she holds
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: a podcast on the black Back podcast network called Dropping
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: Gems It's My Good System. And she has a four
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: year old that is taller than Charlemagne. That is a fact.
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: DEMI gods are you talking about? Quest is a big
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: little boy? That is a fact. Yes, welcome, I come mon,
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: good morning. How are you, Debbie. I'm incredible. I feel incredible. Okay,
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: this moment in time is a lot, but it's also
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: there's magic in it. For all of us. What makes
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: you feel so incredible? You know, I think I'm excited
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: about where we all get to be in our lives
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: in this moment, Like this is the first time ever
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: in human history that we've all been able to become
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: higher versions of ourselves, like so many at a time.
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  Speaker 1: We all have more resources, more support for mental health,
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: more support for emotional health. So it's like even when
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: I get to see friends I haven't seen in a while,
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: like I feel like we get to meet each other
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: at new levels. You know, we get to have deeper
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: conversations with the people that we love. We get to
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: be you know, just set our boundaries, be ourselves. People
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: that say, what are you talking about? Debbie does And
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: we're in a recession, interest rates at all time high,
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: but you still find a positive out of it, you
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: know what it? Life is both the human experience. We're
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: always oscillating between these two ends of the spectrum, joy
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: and grief. And I think that, you know, the viewpoint
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: I have of it, and something I really had to
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: come into in the pandemic was the moments that feel
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  Speaker 1: like joy. I have to let myself feel all of it,
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  Speaker 1: you know, I want every inch of delight when it's present,
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  Speaker 1: because life is hard, life is challenging. Like we walk
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  Speaker 1: to the table with so many things that we've experienced
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  Speaker 1: that no one knows about, and then we're alive right
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: now with you know, it is what it is, all
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: the things happening. So when I get a chance to
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  Speaker 1: be with people I love, when I get a chance
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  Speaker 1: to do anything that sparks in my spirit, I try
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  Speaker 1: to feel every single piece of it. There are times
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  Speaker 1: when people feel guilty too, because they may be experiencing
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: a lot of positivity, but there's so much going on
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: around you that you don't feel like you can even
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: celebrate that. Yeah, yeah, And I think it's important too,
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: because that's what allows us to sustain. Like, I think
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: the thing we've all gotten so wrong about the human
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  Speaker 1: experience is like everyone thinks that the goal is always
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: supreme happiness and that if it's not that, then those
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: are the periods of your life you don't really sit
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: with or look at or talk about. But we need
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: the grief, we need the pain and dressed as much
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: as we need everything else. So you know, even in
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: the midst of the moment of time we're having now
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  Speaker 1: where everything is crazy, and it's been crazy, you know,
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  Speaker 1: It's I wake up every day and I'm just like,
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  Speaker 1: but how can I fuel my fire? How can I
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  Speaker 1: keep that internal oven inside of me just constantly going
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: from myself, from my life for my child? Can we
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: go back to It's like almost the beginning, right because
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: when you think of you know, Dev Dev, A lot
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: of us probably know DEVI Deaf from radio. You know,
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  Speaker 1: we started DEVII Dev. You know I met you at
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  Speaker 1: k D in La and like oh seven and you
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: know you on Sway Show. But it's like you've always
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  Speaker 1: been this spiritually connected person. When do you when do
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: you like first remember that like connection to a higher power?
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  Speaker 1: You know, I think so many things play into that.
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  Speaker 1: I think by nature, I'm an only child raised by
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  Speaker 1: a single parent, which is a certain kind of experience
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  Speaker 1: that kind of keeps you in your head a lot.
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  Speaker 1: So I think that was a piece of it. But
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  Speaker 1: I've always just been fascinated by transformation of any kind.
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  Speaker 1: Like I was definitely reading self help books as a
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  Speaker 1: little girl. I was just so interested in what made
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: people themselves but also what kept people from becoming themselves. Now,
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  Speaker 1: one time you decided to give this all up right, yeah,
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  Speaker 1: you would. You were very successful doing radio. You were
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: in Houston, they were talking about syndication, you were talking
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: about moving back to la and then you said you
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: were one of the best radio personality in the country.
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: I mean's still one of the best personalities, but you
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  Speaker 1: were on the radio as one of the best personalities
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  Speaker 1: in the country. And then you said, thank you, I'm
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  Speaker 1: done with this. Well what made you say, you know what,
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  Speaker 1: I don't want to do this anymore? What? What was?
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  Speaker 1: Why are you clinching yourself like that they need to
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: hear this this morning? You know, it was a couple
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  Speaker 1: of things. I think the amazing thing about the show
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: that y'all do is you guys have established something so
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: rare and different than has ever been I think in broadcasting.
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  Speaker 1: And you guys get to show up as your full
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  Speaker 1: selves at work. You get to have the conversations that
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  Speaker 1: matter to you. Where I was when I was doing
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  Speaker 1: radio that had started becoming so closed off. You know,
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  Speaker 1: at one point when I was working in radio, I
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  Speaker 1: was able to have meaningful conversations like I went viral
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  Speaker 1: with Kanye, went viral with Kendrick talking about mental health.
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  Speaker 1: And then you know, the powers that be they just
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: say talk less, talk less, you know, where I used
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  Speaker 1: to have a talk break where I could really connect it,
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  Speaker 1: but like do that in eleven seconds, but say the
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: whole liner, you know. And it's just I just felt
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  Speaker 1: like I wasn't able to use this gift of communication
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  Speaker 1: at the level that God really commanded of me, at
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  Speaker 1: the level that felt fulfilling to me, And so I
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  Speaker 1: knew that I needed to find I wanted to have
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  Speaker 1: different conversations, and I think you know, when I left radio,
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  Speaker 1: that was like twenty sixteen, twenty seventeen, so the kind
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  Speaker 1: of conversations I was having weren't really popular at the time.
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  Speaker 1: Like I wanted to kind of talk about some of
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: the darker stuff. I wanted to talk about some of
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  Speaker 1: the more complicated, complex things, and I just kind of
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  Speaker 1: do that on the terrestrial radio. I was at like
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: I remember one of my bosses at the time was like,
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: I want you to start doing a segment about groupies
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: where you take callers and ask them what celebrities they
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  Speaker 1: slept with Jesus, And I was like, sir, do you
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  Speaker 1: know me at all? It's like, well, I can't do that,
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: so let me let me find my place, and you know,
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  Speaker 1: I wanted to have more adventure. Like I at that point,
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  Speaker 1: I knew spirituality was the leading leading journey emission for
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  Speaker 1: my life, and so I just said, I have to
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  Speaker 1: invest everything about myself to that. Let me ask you this,
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  Speaker 1: you did say back then, those conversations weren't as popular
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  Speaker 1: as they are now. And definitely now I feel like
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  Speaker 1: people are having those conversations about spirituality, about mental health
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  Speaker 1: a lot more. But there's so many different conflicting things,
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  Speaker 1: so much information out there, so many people that you're like, Okay,
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  Speaker 1: who do I listen to? Who do I trust? Who
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  Speaker 1: do I believe? Right? So how do people manage to
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  Speaker 1: kind of filter through all of that noise? That is
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  Speaker 1: so good? Because it is like the wild West out here,
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  Speaker 1: like it really is, Like you know, I think everybody
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  Speaker 1: should vet everyone that they talk to. And I think
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  Speaker 1: what's really important is there is this kind of split
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  Speaker 1: between people that are enthusiasts and are sharing processes that
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  Speaker 1: maybe worked really well for their individual lives. But we
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  Speaker 1: all have complex lives. We all have so many experiences
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  Speaker 1: that made us us. So I think it's just really
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  Speaker 1: important to connect with people that are deeply studied that
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  Speaker 1: are experts in this space, you know, work with people
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  Speaker 1: who have embodied what they're saying, not just sharing maybe
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  Speaker 1: the tips and tricks or not just you know, saying
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  Speaker 1: the things of like I read this book and it
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  Speaker 1: said this, but who has been applying it to their
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  Speaker 1: life in a way that it's transformed them and this
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  Speaker 1: is their way of being? Those are always the people
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  Speaker 1: I'm like kind of guide more in that direction. And
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  Speaker 1: I believe in a holistic view. I think if you know,
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  Speaker 1: for anybody listening that feels called to a healing journey
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  Speaker 1: or any kind of like internal exploration, you have to
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  Speaker 1: do it from mind, body, and spirit. You know, therapy
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  Speaker 1: is incredible and it's one of the foundational steps, but
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  Speaker 1: you also need everything else. You need body practice, you
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  Speaker 1: need something that really feeds and grows and builds your spirit. Like,
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  Speaker 1: we can't just do one thing. It has to be
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  Speaker 1: an integrated approach to have real transformation. Can we expound
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  Speaker 1: on that? I remember you telling me that you know
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  Speaker 1: years ago use this Like, you know, therapy is great,
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  Speaker 1: and I'm glad you in therapy, but you need more
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  Speaker 1: than just therapy to transform your life. Like, exactly does
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  Speaker 1: that look like? So even with therapy, there's so many
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  Speaker 1: different kinds of therapy, and I think a lot of people,
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  Speaker 1: especially now, because we're just so new to all of this,
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  Speaker 1: everyone goes to cognitive therapy, which is kind of like
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: the standard talk therapy. For some people, that is actually
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  Speaker 1: not the best option. Depending on what you are company
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: the table with, potentially what kind of traumas or experiences
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: you've had, you may need somatic therapy, you may need DBT,
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  Speaker 1: you may need all these different styles. And so that's
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: why I say, like, also get creative with it. When
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: you're on your journey and you start to feel maybe
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: a little stuck, something isn't working, start exploring, start googling,
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: start asking more questions. But the piece about therapy is
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: it keeps you in your head. It helps you understand
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: yourself and the things that have happened, and it gives
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: you the language to talk about it. But it doesn't
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  Speaker 1: always give you the opportunity to live this new knowing.
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  Speaker 1: At point, it can be really powerful to invite in
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  Speaker 1: like spiritual practice or a self care practice, so that
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  Speaker 1: you are applying acceptance to yourself, You're applying loving to yourself.
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  Speaker 1: You know, it's one thing to know everything, but to
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: know everything and still love yourself, to know everything and
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  Speaker 1: come into compassion for the people that have harmed you.
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  Speaker 1: It takes many different processes. And you know, you're you're
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: a master well being educator. You have you know a
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: lot of certification. What does that look like too for
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: people who would be like, oh, how do I know
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: she just didn't read a book like you actually invested
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  Speaker 1: in yourself with this. Yeah. Yeah, I mean I've read
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  Speaker 1: a lot of books and I've done a lot of
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: process on myself. This is also you know, probably fifteen
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  Speaker 1: years of therapy on myself, a lot of working with
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: healing practitioners all over the world. But yeah, I dedicated
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: really the last ten years of my life. Even while
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: I was still in radio, I was also enrolled in
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: different programs and just amassing my knowledge, you know. My
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: thing was and and I really encourage anybody listening for
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: whatever field you're in, if you're called to something, if
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: you know it's something that you know, not just in
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: the way we used to say it, like you do
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: it if it was for free, No, if it's something
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  Speaker 1: that you're curious about, like you're always thinking about it,
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: you're always trying to find different facets of it, invest
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: in yourself. You know, I knew this was my path.
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: I knew I was called to help people heal, to
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: help alleviate internal suffering. And I didn't want to just
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: do it from a place of like motivation and positivity.
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: I wanted to really know what is the deep process
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: of transformation? And also what are all the things that
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: people are facing? You know, what are things that keep
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: what are the barriers that are in place for different
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: kinds of people that keep them from healing? And what
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: books helped you? What helped you on your journey? Oh God,
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: so many things, so many books. I think one of
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: the books that I love and I speak to this
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: book a lot. But it's simple, it's short, but it
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: is powerful and can be used on a daily basis
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: is The Seven Spiritual Laws with Success by Deepak Chopra.
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: What I love about that book is it really expands
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: your understanding of what life could be like if you
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: really come into a place of surrender of trust that
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: everything that was unfolding is ultimately for your highest good,
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: even the things that may not have received your consent,
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: even the things that still feel like an open wound
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: coming into acceptance of that and then really alcomizing all
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: that life has given you to transform, to create, to
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: have new possibilities. That book really gave me, like the
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: zoomed out expanded view of what could be essentially brought
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: up Deepak Chopra, I want to talk about Dear Prime
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: showed the sessions. Yes, yeah, Daymond Green on now in particular,
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: So you're talking about just the mental well being and
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: so being able to focus right with Jraymond Green. Why
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: in particular do you think athletes need to focus on
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: something like this and how do you think it helped them? Gosh,
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: I think it's so important. First, like religion of sports
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: came up with this phenomenal concept. This is their beautiful
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: body of work. They tell really powerful stories, and it
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: was myself and it was Deepak and we were in
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: this really beautiful process with Draymond. What I think is
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: so important about that not just from the athletic lens,
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: but from the masculinity lens, Like I think this is
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: really a moment of divine masculinity, of men's transformative healing,
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: of men's kind of awakening, and so the opportunity to
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: kind of work with someone who already has such ingrained dedication, discipline,
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: knowledge of their body, knowledge of themselves. I thought was
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: a really amazing experience because then we just got to
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: go in and kind of chisel a little bit, you know,
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: kind of fine tune the process. How receptive was he
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: to this at first? So receptive, like so receptive he
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: came in and it was just it was just a
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: joy and a privilege to work with Draymond because he
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: is so smart, so self aware already. And he came
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: in saying, and if you watch the show, Deepak asked him,
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: you know, where are you at on an emotional level,
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: from you know, one to ten? And I think he
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: said he was a four. And then Deepak said, well,
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: then you're suffering, you know, And we don't always look
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: at that when everything else is amazing in our lives,
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: or if you're super successful, got all of this, you know,
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: acclaim opportunity that piece. You know, we often just say like,
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: oh yeah, I feel it there. It's like a little
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: seed in the pit of my stomach or sometimes in
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: my heart, but I'll pad everything else around it. And
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: you know, he came into the experience like, Okay, how
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: does this work? Tell me? X Y and Z and
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: then by you know, by the later part of our
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: sessions when we were meeting, he was like, Okay, so
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: I've read this book. I've read this book. I've read
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: this book. I understand it like this, and he was
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: just really ready to feel things that maybe he hadn't
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: felt before. Oh, I want to get back to the
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: sessions on Amazon, but I want to talk about the
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: connection with Deepak, because I call you Tupac Cholber, right,
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: and so to see you and Deepak actually working together now,
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: I was like surreal in a lot of ways. How
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: did that connection happen? Oh, my God, surreal? So godly.
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: You always got to listen to the whispers of God,
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: you know. I feel like when you can really get
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: into a space of following the flow of where life
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: wants to lead you and not where you're trying to
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: make it go, miracles happen. And so you know, with Deepac,
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: I was absolutely a student of his work and just
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: I was so transformed. Deepac has written over ninety books
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: in his lifetime, Like his depth of knowledge is so massive.
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: So it really started where I was burned out. I
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: was working in radio, like we talked about in my twenties,
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: and I ended up getting shingles, which is highly painful
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: for anybody that's had it, but it's also specifically something
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: you don't get to like your seventies and your eighties.
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: I had it in my twenties and I was like,
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: this life isn't sustainable, like clearly, like for people that
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: don't know, I don't know what it is. So shingles
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: is a virus that lays dormant in your body after
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: you have the chicken pox, and it's typically something that
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: doesn't manifest until you are in your elderly years, but
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: it can be brought forward with a lot of stress,
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: and it is very painful. It often presents as like
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: a big rash somewhere for a length of time, and
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: no medicine alleviates the pain. For me, it felt like
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: there was a frozen ice pick stabbing you in your nerve,
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: really painful. Um. And so this was like, you know,
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: ten years ago, and I went online and I just
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: typed in like detox, help retreat something, and the first
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: thing that popped up was a photo of DPAC and
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: it was for his health center. And so I ended
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: up going on a ten day detox retreat and it
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: changed everything about my life, and I ended up doing
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: so many of the programs that Chopra offered, which eventually
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: led me to do their teacher training program and get
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: certified in meditation. And so our relationship was really just
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: growing and building, And when Chopra Global launched about two
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: years ago, I ended up coming on board as their
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: chief Impact Officer and leading some of their initiatives. Was
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: that pressure? What does that mean? I wasn't pressure. Did
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: you feel pressure once you were in that position? No?
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: I felt so aligned For me. It was just it
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: was just the deepest acknowledgement that my path was what
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: I was envisioning, that I was exactly where I was
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: supposed to be. So I think I really trust myself.
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: I trust my life, I trust myself, I trust my expertise.
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: So I felt like it was divine alignment. Applied these
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: skills to your life. How have you been handling things
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: differently than you used to when you were younger? Everything?
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: You know? I think for me boundaries like really just
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: understanding myself and understanding that you know, this is my movie.
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: I'm the star of my movie, I'm a supporting character,
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: and a lot of people's movies, I'm a supporting character
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: in your movie, you're a supporting character in mine. But
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: I have to make myself in my life a priority.
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: And to do that, you really cannot care what people think.
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: You cannot allow other people's projections to change how you
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: think about yourself or make you bend or contorting in
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: any way. And I think that that was one of
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: the biggest things. It's like, just by being alive, we're
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: constantly comparing. It starts in our childhood with our parents,
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: with the kids in school, but especially as adults, especially
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: if you work in the entertainment industry, bacal social media,
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, especially with social media, like it's impossible
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: not to and so just really kind of zooming out
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: of that matrix and just saying like, I can't care
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: what anybody else thinks. I have to trust that my
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: path in my life is mine. That's one way to
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: create a healthy boundary. What are some other ways to
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: create healthy boundaries? So healthy boundaries, the first part is
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: you have to become really aware of yourself and who
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: you are. I think a lot of this boundary conversation
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: tends to tilt into using boundaries as more of a wall,
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: a wall of protection. A barrier against other people and
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: also a judgment of other people. When I hear people
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: talk about boundaries, even on social media, I think we
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: have to really upgrade our understanding of why we don't
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: have them to begin with. You know, it's like everyone's like,
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: now I'm going to have boundaries, and you know, and
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: anybody that doesn't have my boundaries like you're cut out
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: of my life. And people don't want to respect your boundaries,
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: and there's such this like harsh judgmental view no one
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: does until you got them. And the thing is, the
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: people in our lives that are trying to climb over
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: them don't understand what they are either, which is why
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: they don't even apply them to their own selves. So
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: I think on the journey of finding boundaries of coming
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: into self awareness, as often as it's possible, we always
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: have to try to steep it in overall compassion and
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: non judgment. A lot of us are doing things for
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: the very first time. A lot of us have just
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: heard about boundaries for the very first time. And very
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: often if you don't have boundaries already, it's because different
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: things happened in your life that led you to kind
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: of disregard yourself in certain ways, or not think that
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: you have the right or the worth to choose yourself first.
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: So it's all the process and we just have to
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: go slow and gently. So question, well, are you we
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: born with boundaries and then they get toured down at
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: some point? Are we never have them? And we have
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: to learn how to build them. So there's a multitude
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: of reasons, but I think one of the one of
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: the reasons that I'm most often and work with and
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: see in our childhood certain things have to happen for
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: us to become the best version of our adult self.
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: There has to be certain kinds of role modeling in
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: place of behavior. There has to be role modeling of care,
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: of understanding, of listening of language. If we have experienced
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: certain emotional neglect, which millions of people do, even if
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: your parents don't want to or don't know that they're
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: doing it. If you're experiencing any kind of emotional neglect
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: or traumas big to your little t it affects the
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: way your core identity is established. Your core identity is
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: established in childhood. That is the piece of you that
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: isn't the roles you play, but it's the piece of you.
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: That thinks that you're worthy, that thinks that you have rights,
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: that knows that your emotional life matters. If you're not
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: given that opportunity to grow that in a safe way,
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: you don't know how to set boundaries because you don't
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: understand yourself your own needs, You don't understand what you require,
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: and sometimes things bad happen to you or people burn you,
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: and then you're like, okay, moving forward. This is how
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: I have to move absolutely, And I think when that
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: stuff happens in our adult life, even still, it usually
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: comes down to an original wound that happened in childhood.
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: There was something in the dynamic with the child and
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: the caregiver or whatever adults may have been present, where
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: their needs were not looked at, and you maybe had
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: to please the person that was caretaking for you to
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: get what you needed. And so then in your adult
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: life you find yourself repeating those patterns in so many
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: different ways, and friendships and relationships and the jobs that
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: you choose, and the way that your dynamic with your
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: boss and your co workers is like it permeates everything
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: about your life. There is nothing more important than childhood.
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: Now when you talk about you know, everybody has their
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: own journey, right, yeah, and you have family, your friends,
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: your man, your child. So how do you base your
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: circle now? Because there's going to be some people that
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: are into the things that you're into, some people that
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: don't care about it, some people that don't believe. So
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: how do you keep your circle? Do you keep those
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: people that are not in your circle? Or do you
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: set up those boundaries where it's like, all right, well,
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: if you're not believe, I'll wait for you to be
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: a believer to be in this circle. So so how
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: do you go about your your normal day? Oh? I
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: don't think people have to be believers. Like, I'm not
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: looking to convince anyone, And I'm okay if we are
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: not aligned in our beliefs, but I would be a
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: friend with somebody, like you know, Charlemagne goes outside like
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: the hugwood. Right, if he wasn't a treaty sir, sorry, okay,
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: if he wasn't a wood hugger, right, could you explain
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: We can explain that if he wasn't a wood hugger,
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: he loves, But if he wasn't that way, could you
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: be around him as much? If he wasn't as grounded
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: as he was, or if he wasn't doing the work
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: on himself, could you still have him in your circle
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: like that? Or you know, the structure of our relationship
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: would have to change. I wouldn't be in judgment about him,
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: like I wouldn't judge a person because we're living different lives. However,
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: I have to prioritize what is actually nurturing my own
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: life and my own growth. And so I think first
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: I would say this, all of us hold on to
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: too many people for too long. That is what I feel.
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: A lot of it comes because of social media. It's
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: this natural Oh we kind of had a click, I'm
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: gonna follow you, I'm gonna follow you back. Now we're
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: plugged into knowing the nuance of every person we've ever
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: met life forever. There's not really the room for that,
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: you know. So I think the way that I look
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: at my life is I'm very I'm a very, very
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: open person. I love connecting with people. But when I
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: look at how my life is actually built, it's not
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: sustainable for me to have active relationship with a lot
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: of people. And so over the last two years, like
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: I've masked of lee shed in my life, and some
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: of them were highly intentional, like friendships that were misaligned
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: because of character, because of integrity, because of choices, and
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: there had to be hard conversations. Some of those hard
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: conversations turned into re establishing the friendship, like we were
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: able to get to new ground and rebuild. Some of
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: them were more of an awkward hearts goodbye, and many
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: others were really just let nature do his think. How
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: would those conversations Like, so, let's say, is somebody in
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: new click you need to have a conversation. Yeah, because
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: they're not following the same journey that you're following. You
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: just don't want them around you, honestly, So how do
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: you have those conversations? So if you're me, you just
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: have them. I don't have a lot of fear around
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: any of that because I think I love myself, I
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: love my life, I feel aligned, and so I'm not
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: taking other people's misdirected emotions personally. So if someone is
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: upset in our conversation, that's not going to rock me.
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: And I'm also not going to take on a lot
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: of guilt about it. I trust that my choices are
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: made in integrity. But you know, you have to be direct,
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: but you also have to know yourself to be direct
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: in a way that it's actually healing and beneficial, not
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: you know when people use that term brutally honest or
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: I keep it real. Real is relative. You're real is
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: based on your life experience, and it could be completely
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: fraudulent to someone else based on how they recognize real.
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: So I think there has to be a certain amount
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: of self awareness in yourself before you have that conversation,
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: and it's important to come into a space, if possible,
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: of more neutrality so that you can walk away from
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: something with lasting peace. Now, as a friend, right, people listening,
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: So as a friend, let's say Nick, the camera guy,
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: let's say do you guide him first of what you
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: think of being a friend, Like, Hey, Nick, I think
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: that you're doing this too much. I think you need
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: to fall back and look at this. Always one of
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: those things like, bro, you're not going in my direction.
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: I gotta go. Yeah, because it can be too preach questions.
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: But you know, as somebody who's done to work, yeah,
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: who's read numerous books, who's you know, done what you're
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: supposed to do, how do you do that? As you know,
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: with a friend. So what I did for myself was
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: when I started noticing that some friendships felt misaligned or
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: non reciprocal in the ways that were important to me.
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: I just made a mental note, and I told myself
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: that I was going to slowly observe it. So you
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: could do that in a way of saying, I'm going
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: to give somebody three strikes or three chances. But I
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: just started slowly observing and still interacting with the person.
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: How the flow of our relationship was, how often did
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: we talk? Were they able to show up for me?
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: Was I showing up for them? Did it feel reciprocal?
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: And I just watched it over the course of a year.
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: Like I knew I was called to kind of radically
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: shift and make space in my life, and I gave
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: myself really a year to do it. So I started
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: just observing people from a are, noticing things, keeping mental notes,
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: and then I really prayed about it. I set prayers,
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: I set intentions around it lead me to the aligned
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: friendships and partnerships allow me to remove with ease any
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: friendships or connections that are not serving or misaligned. You know,
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: I think it is important to bring God into all
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: of it. I think it's important to bring just a
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: higher energy into all of it. Once that was done,
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: and I started really saying, okay, yeah, that's not a fit.
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: I just called people up directly and I was like, Hey,
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: I want to talk to you about our friendship. I
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: want to talk about our relationship. And I said, I
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: just want to let you know. I don't have a
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: lot of judgment around you or this, but I need
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: to share how I'm feeling. I usually had supporting examples
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: of you know, this experience happened, this is the way
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: it made me feel. What are your thoughts on that.
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: We went back and forth a little bit about it.
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: Some people in my life said, thank you so much
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: for telling me this. I felt something changing between us.
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: I never saw that. I didn't even notice I was
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: doing that, but you're absolutely right. I'm sorry. We were
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: able to rebuild some peoples just like, okay, all right,
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: what all right? For the show? You know? Or f
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: you like? Okay? So I think walking into setting boundaries,
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: walking into shedding people, you have to also walk in
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: with a confidence of it's okay if I lose them,
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: it's okay if they don't understand, and it's also okay
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: if they blame me. None of that has anything to
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: do with me. You know, it's like the word ease
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: is a very powerful word because you know, you know,
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: you know, I think God for you daily. I tell
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: you this all the time. But it's just like our relationship,
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: It's never been a time we didn't share information. It's
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: never it's never been a time we didn't have, you know,
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: deep conversation. It's just like things evolved and went from
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: Yo Charlomagne listening to this Nipsey hustle bullets ain't got
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: no name, or arguing about Kendrick Lamar, you know what
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: I mean to read deep seven spirituality Like it just
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: seemed effortless the whole time. Yeah, And is that what
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: you should look for? I guess absolutely like and I
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: love us as a case study of that because we've
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: been friends for now like fifteen years, and we've seen
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: each other at so many junctures of the journey. But
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: what we always had was non judgment. We always had
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: an openness, We always had an ability to talk things through.
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: And I think you don't want to Jess hold on
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: to people because of a length of time or this
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: like false sense of loyalty which no one actually has
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: a real definition for that word, Like it changes with everyone.
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: If you look up the definition of loyalty, it just
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: means an affinity for I'm fond of I Like, you
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: have to really look at, like, what is kind of
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: doing life with a friend? Can there be more grace
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: for that? Can there be more ease? Can we go
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: six months without talking because we're both in a different
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: place and then come back together. I think we should
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: would be allowed to um. But yeah, being able to
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: kind of just evolve as equals at every step is
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: what I look for in friendship. And I'm also okay
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: with things not having to be that deep. There's some
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: people in my life. I trust them to be themselves
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: and I show up as myself and I give them
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: what they can handle of me. Now, how does people's
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: mental health affect their physical health? You don't pray for
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: you don't pray about me every day? You don't. I
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: was like, what is envy thinking over? I do think
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: God for you? You think God for this whole situation,
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: this situation which changes our life. We're openness, we're deep.
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: I just want to know why you never told me
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: that I hear talking. You don't say it envy talking.
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: Let me see what the blood could I hear a
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: wound talking. I was asking about mental health affecting people's
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: physical health too, because I feel like that's a theme
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: as well when it comes to athletes, but the everyday person,
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, all of us, and and now, thank god,
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: there's so much science and studies coming out to back
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: it up. There's phenomenal books on this. The Body Keeps
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: the Score is an amazing book, Resumementica and my grandmother's
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: name Trauma is stored absolutely in the body. Our experiences
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: don't leave us. And that's why, you know, when we
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: were talking about kind of that approach to really heal,
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: you have to bring your body into it. So you
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: have to have different practices and processes that allow you
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: to love on your body, to kind of push out
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: of your cells, out of your skin, your experiences. So
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: I think even you know, if someone's in like a
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: cognitive therapy and maybe not ready for some of the
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: other stuff, I always say, book a book a massage
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: appointment for after your therapy appointment, and then think about
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: the awarenesses that came in as you're getting the massage,
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: Think about things you want to release as you're getting
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: the massage, or you could do self massage, self stretching
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: at home because the trauma absolutely stays with us. And
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: I think we've seen in our communities so many diseases,
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: you know, so many different things manifesting that it's just like,
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: how is this possible. It can't just be diet, it
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: can't just be this Like, there is a there is
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: a grief present that is bringing on this sickness in
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: people's bodies. And I think it's just that's why we
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: have to do that kind of holistic approach. That was
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: a massive part of my journey. I was in therapy
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: for many, many years, and I understood a lot, but
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: not much was actively changing. And then when I came
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: in and I started seeing a somatic therapist, I started
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: doing somatic processes that really helped me to understand my
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: body's reactions to every moment. That's when I became really empowered.
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: You could feel your triggers in real time, but then
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: also soothe them in real time because on this healing journey,
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: no matter what you do, we're still on Earth, We're
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: still in this crazy environment. Very often the people near
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: us are not changing in the ways that we are,
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: so it's just so, so so incredibly important that we
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: honor ourselves, that we honor our bodies, that we come
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: into a space of being able to, you know, ideally
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: get through our wounds, our triggers faster. We're not just
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: looking for happiness. I'm I'm I'm in my wholeness, I'm
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: in my sovereignty. I am deep in mastery on many
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: different parts and also learning in other pieces of myself.
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: But you know, I look at um, happiness for me
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: isn't the goal. The goal for me is the fact
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: that something that used to hurt me, that I may
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: ruminate over for a week, for a month, that may
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: make me feel sick to my stomach about myself. Now
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: if I think about it, it's two seconds I felt it.
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, because that did happen to me. I accept
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: that and I release it and I move into the
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: next moment. So I think that's that's really the goal
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: for healing. Let's let's stay if fort's real quick, because
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: I want to know why a self care of vital
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: for black and brown bodies. But I also want you
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: to talk about the energy healing you do. Like I mean,
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: you know, people saw a glimpse of you doing it
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: the Draymond on the set on The Sessions talk about that.
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, that was my favorite part of doing
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: the show. We were in like the Redwoods. We were
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: in this forest in the bay and I got to
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: do reiki energy work on him. Energy work is incredible.
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: It has changed my life. I think that I think
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: that our communities should be empowered with becoming facilitators of reiki,
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: of chakra healing, of energy work, and I think that
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: we should be using it on ourselves and in our
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: families daily. The energy work works with the energetic bodies,
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: So there is this field around you that is unseen
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: to the naked eye, but that is kind of the
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: energy that protects you that also magnetizes things to you
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: that can also be injured by different emotional wounds and
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: energy feeling is an ancient sacred practice, specifically raiky, where
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: you use your energy and you work with the person's
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: energy field to bring healing into their environment. So it
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: is believed that this helps to heal and alleviate physical wounds,
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: mental wounds, emotional wounds, and it's also something that just
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: really allows you to feel enlivened, that gives you access
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: to the feeling of present moment of groundedness, of peace
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: inside of your body. And I've done energy work on
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: YouTube's it feels like a spiritual massage, like you could
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: literally feel things being removed from you as the energy,
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: the energy work is being done. Like you get up
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: feeling light like damn, what was on me? You know? Yeah,
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: that's how That's how I felt. I was going to ask,
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: as mama bear right, if a four year old, how
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: do you raise him? Because you know, you've been in
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: the world. You know what good, what's bad, what's negative,
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: what's positive? So you know, how do you raise him?
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: Do you put him in school? Do you put him
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: around of the kids whose maybe parents are not on
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: the align with what do you what you do? Maybe
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: not on the same journey. You know, even though you
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: might not give him social media, you know, his friend
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: might have it, or his friend might get things from
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: the house. So how do you raise your four year old? Oh?
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: My god, that question is so hard. It's hard. God,
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: not every day, all day, it's hard. You know. I
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: think about my child every second, so many things envy,
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: you know. I feel like we're all kind of on
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: this journey of doing a lot of linear healing we're
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: bringing forward for our kids, maybe things that never existed
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: in our family systems ever, because you think about the
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: impact of slavery, you think about the impact of all
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: of the structural and societal oppressure and that has existed since,
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: and in black and brown communities, there has always been
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: a wounding in the parent child relationship to some degree.
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: You have your outliers, you have those you know, one
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: in a neighborhood, healthy family sometimes and then everyone else.
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: It's like you just see this lack of emotional regulation,
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: lack of ability to be your authentic self so much
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: fear so for me knowing that I can't control the world,
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: and also feeling the daily grief of that when you
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: have a child. The thing that I really look to
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: do with my son ut quest Mandela, I love you
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: so much, is teach him how to be aware of himself.
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: I am not going to be able to control everything
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: that happens in his life, and I don't want to
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: hold him in an environment where he's wearing rose colored glasses.
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: So I just look to really build his emotional intelligence
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: at a very young age. And so a lot of
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: that is using affirmative words. Since he was an infant,
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: I would sit over him every night and I would say,
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: you know, I love myself. I am loving and kind,
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: I am strong and resilient, I am creative and curious.
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: I am kind. And then now he says them for
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: himself every day. He says, I love myself, I'm cherished,
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: I'm valued by my mom, I'm you know. I'm teaching
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: him the words that will help build his core identity
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: to be in a foundation of deep worth. And then
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: I think, you know, what's important is teaching them how
• 39:30
  Speaker 1: to identify their emotions navigating in the world. That's a
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: skill so many of us didn't get. And so with him,
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: when he's upset, when he's happy, I try to give
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: him language for the things that he's feeling, even before
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: he can use the words. And when he's upset, you know,
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: I ask him, do you need a hug right now?
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: You know, what are you feeling? Someone who's like I'm frustrated,
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: I'm feeling frustrated, I'm feeling upset, I'm feeling sad, and
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: just greeting all of that and not taking it personally
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: and not letting it change the way I feel about
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: myself or assume that anything is wrong. I think that
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: is one of the things that comes up with even
• 40:08
  Speaker 1: the best parents who just want to shower their kids
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: with love. Depending on what our life experiences, parenting is
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: one of the most triggering things you could ever do
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: in your life. It shows you where all your own
• 40:21
  Speaker 1: wounds lie. It shows you where maybe things happen in
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: your childhood that were different and things that you maybe
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: needed that you're now giving your kid. So many of
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: us are loving our children in a way that we
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: were never loved. So I think just giving him the
• 40:38
  Speaker 1: space to be a kid as well is really important
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: to me. Everyone that meets my child is always like,
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: he's the sweetest guy ever, or he's so happy, or
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: he's so this. And because I'm not trying to shift
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: his behavior, I'm not telling him he needs to grow
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: up faster. He's for He doesn't need to be super sophisticated.
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: He doesn't need to have to know how to shake
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: hands perfectly, or how to do this or that, or
• 40:59
  Speaker 1: how to appear like a little adult. He is his
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: own being and I let him be himself. Do you
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: let him play sports? His dad play NFL football. You
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: talk to a lot of people in the sports world
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: do you allow him to play that because it feels like,
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: even in sports, they take this one emotion and they
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: make you use that motion against their opponents. Right, it's
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: usually anger, Right, it's usually aggressive. Right. You've never seen
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: a football play that's nice, like, hey, how are you
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: doing today? I'm going to tackle you in the second.
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: You don't see that? You know? So do you allow
• 41:28
  Speaker 1: him to play football in sports? But that's not something
• 41:31
  Speaker 1: you thought of already? No, he will not play football. Yeah,
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: and that's something that we really talked a lot about
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: even during my pregnancy. Um, and that is a that
• 41:42
  Speaker 1: is a wish and a desire from his father as well. Um. No,
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: it's it's because you know that he's four, but he
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: size of an eight year old. Let the record, before
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: he physically ever got here, I said that he was
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: going to be seven feet tall three hundred fifty. Well
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: what's the reason that. Yeah? Um, you know, science is
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: showing how much football can affect your brain and I'm
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: not willing to take that risk with my child. Um.
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: And I think that some of the science that is
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: coming out is also showing that kids as early as
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: playing even flag football are getting concussions, and that children
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: who are um even playing in high school are showing
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: effects of CTE. And I'm just I'm completely unwilling to
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: risk my child's brain. Um, but I think you know,
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: I'm open to other kind of sports, like I always say, laugh,
• 42:38
  Speaker 1: I'm like, he can golf. We got volleyball, badminton, baseball,
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: you know basketball. Yeah, so no boxing, no boxing, no football,
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: no tennis. Tennis is good. He can he can make
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: his own choices when he's an adult man. Track Yeah,
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: he can run track. You know, he can meditate, we
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: could do yoga. Lacrosse is on the come up. Lacresse
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: is tough. There's some polo. Now, let's talk about how
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: a person can build a daily self care like spiritual
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: practice routine just start healing and changing their life. How
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: does a person do that? Oh, this is the most
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: important thing. And I know, I know you have yours. Now,
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: do you guys feel like Angela Vie? You guys are
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: have like your morning routines and tradition for kind of
• 43:24
  Speaker 1: not for me in the morning so much. It would
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: be more before I go to bed, before bed, that's
• 43:28
  Speaker 1: perfect too. I I do some in the morning. I've
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: always renting late I mean, y'all wake up very early,
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: but my practice at night is where I get like,
• 43:38
  Speaker 1: really really deeply connected. So everyone talks right now about changing,
• 43:44
  Speaker 1: about growing, transforming healing, you have to make it sustainable
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: so that it's actually becomes your lived experience and not
• 43:54
  Speaker 1: just something you speak but are not acting or living.
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: That is what your daily practice does. And I think
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: you know sometimes in the mainstream you hear the word
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: self care and it's like, yeah, girl, go shop in,
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: have some self care. Oh, go take a bag, get
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: a massage. Yes, And your self care is it's really
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: the practice that supports your life, that supports your destiny,
• 44:17
  Speaker 1: that supports your healing. And so what you want to
• 44:20
  Speaker 1: do when you're building a practice, first, identify how much
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: time you have. I know a lot of people work
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: really hard and have a lot of responsibilities. So even
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: if only five minutes is possible, please please try to
• 44:32
  Speaker 1: gift yourself with this. But if you can be more
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: expansive and spend thirty minutes, spend an hour, that could
• 44:37
  Speaker 1: be really powerful. What you want to do is you
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: want to build your daily practice around the four pillars
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: of wholeness, which is mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual you
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: want to find something to do every day that falls
• 44:49
  Speaker 1: in one of those categories, and so that could look
• 44:52
  Speaker 1: like For mental, that could look like journaling, just getting
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: your thoughts out. It doesn't have to be dear diary style.
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: It could be a couple of bullet points. It could
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: be wow, I noticed that I keep thinking about this
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: one thought every day. It helps to build or re
• 45:05
  Speaker 1: establish your intuition, which is also something that a lot
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: of people lack because they so often go against what
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: their gut tells them to do. Our intuition is our
• 45:16
  Speaker 1: souls GPS, it's our guiding system as the human experience.
• 45:20
  Speaker 1: So it's really important that we ignite that ability in ourselves.
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: That's the mental category. Looking at the emotional category, that
• 45:28
  Speaker 1: could be meditation every day, you know, really sitting and
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: getting still, getting quiet and opening up your internal world,
• 45:38
  Speaker 1: really coming into a space of knowing how to be
• 45:41
  Speaker 1: with yourself, how to meet yourself, how to remember all
• 45:44
  Speaker 1: of who you truly are, outside of the roles that
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: we play in life, outside of the things that have
• 45:49
  Speaker 1: happened to us. You look at physical For some that's
• 45:52
  Speaker 1: a workout, Like I know, Y'll be working out. Everybody
• 45:54
  Speaker 1: be working out every day, but that could also look
• 45:56
  Speaker 1: like a daily stretch practice, that could look like yo,
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: that could look like remembering to massage your own shoulders
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: at the end of the night because you're aching and
• 46:05
  Speaker 1: you deserve your own touch. And then if we look
• 46:08
  Speaker 1: at the spiritual category, that could really look like affirmations
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: every day speaking life over yourself. And let's take it
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: a step deeper than you know, some of the ones
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: of like I am abundance or I am love or
• 46:20
  Speaker 1: I am strong really call forward what you want to embody.
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: You know, one of my first affirmations and my healing
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: journey was I'm a precious child of God, leading, leading
• 46:34
  Speaker 1: from my heart's center. Yeah, I think that was a
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: piece of it. I'm a precious child of God, leading
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: from my soul's center, working in mastery of my being.
• 46:44
  Speaker 1: Saying that over myself every day changed me. So doing
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: something every day that supports who you are and who
• 46:51
  Speaker 1: you're becoming and who you have become is essential. It
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: also teaches you emotional regulation, which means that every day
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: you can go into the world as your true self
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: and not as the version of you that's constantly reacting
• 47:04
  Speaker 1: to things. So I got to update my mantra as
• 47:07
  Speaker 1: the mantra gotten me. Oh yeah, yeah, time to update, okay.
• 47:12
  Speaker 1: And I always say, when it comes to when it
• 47:14
  Speaker 1: comes to our affirmations, our mantras keep evolving them. Once
• 47:21
  Speaker 1: you feel that something clicked into place and you have
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: really been wearing that, let's hit something else, you know,
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: maybe start to notice what are some other little crevices
• 47:31
  Speaker 1: of my life that I want to refine. If I
• 47:33
  Speaker 1: feel that I've healed or really done a lot of
• 47:36
  Speaker 1: work around my trauma, maybe now I want to start
• 47:39
  Speaker 1: to investigate. What's my relationship to money, what's my relationship
• 47:42
  Speaker 1: to prosperity. Let me heal that dynamic. What's my relationship
• 47:46
  Speaker 1: to the masculine to the feminine in my life? Let
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: me look at healing or evolving that experience. But there's
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: always more, There's always deeper. Why is it being on
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: a healing journey so and so exhausting Because our lived
• 48:03
  Speaker 1: experiences are you know, we are to be alive and
• 48:09
  Speaker 1: to be human is to be deeply challenged every day.
• 48:14
  Speaker 1: You know. For a lot of people that meant having
• 48:16
  Speaker 1: really challenging experiences as young people, as adults. For others,
• 48:22
  Speaker 1: it's just turning the news on every day and seeing
• 48:25
  Speaker 1: how painful it is to be a witness to so
• 48:28
  Speaker 1: much tragedy, especially so much tragedy that you know, we
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: don't really have the opportunity to shift fully. It's hard
• 48:36
  Speaker 1: to behold all that we're seeing right now. It is,
• 48:39
  Speaker 1: and we're doing this very dualistic job of staying present
• 48:44
  Speaker 1: in our lives, updating our social media, doing all the things,
• 48:47
  Speaker 1: raising our kids, doing the things, and seeing people shot
• 48:52
  Speaker 1: dead on a daily basis. You know that we don't
• 48:55
  Speaker 1: even know the long term effects of taking on this
• 48:58
  Speaker 1: much grief every day, which is another reason why having
• 49:02
  Speaker 1: that daily practice it makes it not just easier, but
• 49:07
  Speaker 1: it does give you the opportunity to have more joy
• 49:09
  Speaker 1: even through the midst of all of this. I was
• 49:11
  Speaker 1: going to ask you, you know, with especially with kids,
• 49:15
  Speaker 1: I'm noticing and I'm seeing kids are more emotional, right, Yeah,
• 49:19
  Speaker 1: They're more explaining their feelings, expressing their feelings, trying to
• 49:22
  Speaker 1: find themselves at an early age. Is that a good
• 49:24
  Speaker 1: or a bad thing? Right? And the reason I'm asking
• 49:26
  Speaker 1: most people are be like, oh, that's a good thing.
• 49:28
  Speaker 1: But I'm seeing a lot of kids not being able
• 49:30
  Speaker 1: to find themselves and hurting themselves committing suicide or being
• 49:37
  Speaker 1: very quote unquote emo as kids say, So is that
• 49:39
  Speaker 1: a good thing a bad thing? Because as a kid,
• 49:41
  Speaker 1: that's one thing I don't think I thought of. I
• 49:42
  Speaker 1: don't know if anybody else in the room thought of.
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: As a kid, I didn't think about how I felt.
• 49:46
  Speaker 1: I just went outside and had fun. I went to
• 49:48
  Speaker 1: school because I had to. I ate because I had to. Nowadays,
• 49:51
  Speaker 1: you know, kids are you know, they're finding out more
• 49:54
  Speaker 1: about themselves. They're telling you why they don't want to
• 49:56
  Speaker 1: eat vegetables. They're like, it's more of that. But it's
• 50:00
  Speaker 1: that good or is that bad? I think because we're
• 50:01
  Speaker 1: encouraging conversation, Like I know, growing up, bout my dad,
• 50:04
  Speaker 1: shut up, punch me in the chest, you know what
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: I mean? Like we would talk to suppress our emotions
• 50:08
  Speaker 1: a lot of time. Yeah. Yeah, And you know, from
• 50:12
  Speaker 1: my view as a kid, I was always talking about
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: my feelings to the point that it made all the
• 50:17
  Speaker 1: adults in my life really irritated. And so then you
• 50:20
  Speaker 1: kind of hide them a little bit. I think there,
• 50:23
  Speaker 1: you know, there is no good or bad, and I
• 50:24
  Speaker 1: think that it's both at the same time. And what
• 50:27
  Speaker 1: I think is so important about being a conscious and
• 50:30
  Speaker 1: active parent in your child's life is really witnessing them
• 50:34
  Speaker 1: for themselves, not through our lens of projection of who
• 50:37
  Speaker 1: we want them to be or who we were at
• 50:39
  Speaker 1: their age, but looking and saying, you know, if my
• 50:42
  Speaker 1: child is this way, if they are quote unquote emo,
• 50:45
  Speaker 1: or if they are a deep feeler or feeling this
• 50:49
  Speaker 1: pressure to know who they are, how can I one
• 50:54
  Speaker 1: soothe that a little bit? You know? How can I
• 50:56
  Speaker 1: make that more of a gentle experience for them and
• 50:59
  Speaker 1: the words I use with themselves? And then also how
• 51:01
  Speaker 1: can I support that? How can I if the community
• 51:04
  Speaker 1: they need for who they are is not around them,
• 51:08
  Speaker 1: how can I look to supplement that in their lives?
• 51:10
  Speaker 1: In some ways, I think it's both. I mean, I
• 51:13
  Speaker 1: think it's incredible that kids are as self aware as
• 51:15
  Speaker 1: they are. It's kind of mind blowing, you know. I
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: work with a lot of gen z. Like I just
• 51:20
  Speaker 1: taught for a semester in Atlanta with this group of
• 51:25
  Speaker 1: young men who were roughly around the age of sixteen.
• 51:28
  Speaker 1: So many of the things that I was teaching them,
• 51:30
  Speaker 1: they were so familiar with those concepts already, which was like, what,
• 51:34
  Speaker 1: how do y'all know how you feel already, but then
• 51:37
  Speaker 1: at the same time it can become too much of
• 51:41
  Speaker 1: a focus to where you're not giving yourself the chance
• 51:45
  Speaker 1: to be something new, to learn new things. I have
• 51:48
  Speaker 1: two more questions in that action I want to ask
• 51:50
  Speaker 1: of you. But the first question is what does self
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: acceptance look like. Acceptance looks like deep surrender and deep trust.
• 52:06
  Speaker 1: To accept yourself means that you are aware of all
• 52:12
  Speaker 1: that you are, including the things that may be a
• 52:14
  Speaker 1: little bit unfinished or the things that you may have judged,
• 52:17
  Speaker 1: but to know that it all serves purpose. You know,
• 52:21
  Speaker 1: to have acceptances to also have this trust that I
• 52:25
  Speaker 1: may not like everything that's happening right now or that
• 52:28
  Speaker 1: has happened to me, but I do understand and trust
• 52:32
  Speaker 1: that it is serving a purpose I don't yet know.
• 52:36
  Speaker 1: And so I am an acceptance of what currently is.
• 52:39
  Speaker 1: Doesn't mean you don't want it to change, doesn't mean
• 52:41
  Speaker 1: it doesn't have the potential to change. But I'm an
• 52:44
  Speaker 1: acceptance that this jest is when you come into acceptance,
• 52:48
  Speaker 1: you come into your personal power because you're not trying
• 52:51
  Speaker 1: to fight everything, you're not trying to control every outcome.
• 52:55
  Speaker 1: You're creating this space for more to unfold, and that's
• 52:59
  Speaker 1: where you get to be creative with yourself. You get
• 53:01
  Speaker 1: to be creative with your life. You get to be
• 53:03
  Speaker 1: a co creator of what this journey will look like
• 53:06
  Speaker 1: for you. But you have to be an acceptance. If
• 53:08
  Speaker 1: you're in judgment of yourself, if you're in judgment of
• 53:11
  Speaker 1: your life experiences, it makes it almost impossible to change
• 53:16
  Speaker 1: any of them in a really meaningful way. Is that
• 53:18
  Speaker 1: the first step to beginning to love yourself? Because that's
• 53:21
  Speaker 1: my second question, How do you begin to love yourself?
• 53:24
  Speaker 1: I think they're kind of both happening at the same time,
• 53:26
  Speaker 1: but I will say you to love yourself. It's a
• 53:30
  Speaker 1: constantly evolving process, but I think it does require that
• 53:33
  Speaker 1: daily practice that I talked about. Loving yourself requires your
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: own sweat equity into yourself and your body. Loving yourself
• 53:42
  Speaker 1: can't be related to how really you look, how other
• 53:45
  Speaker 1: people are validating you or not, how they're treating you.
• 53:48
  Speaker 1: It has to be like, I exist and that's enough,
• 53:52
  Speaker 1: and that alone is worthy of love. I am breathing
• 53:55
  Speaker 1: right now. That is worthy of love, That is worthy
• 53:57
  Speaker 1: of gratitude, no matter who I've been, no matter what
• 54:00
  Speaker 1: choices I want to redo. There is more to me
• 54:04
  Speaker 1: than one definition. So yeah, the action I want to
• 54:09
  Speaker 1: ask is, like, you know, I know we have a
• 54:10
  Speaker 1: lot of people listening right now. They might have seen
• 54:12
  Speaker 1: the sessions they you know, probably listen to dropping gems.
• 54:15
  Speaker 1: I want to do like a mindfulness minute, like what's up?
• 54:19
  Speaker 1: What's up? Breathing exercise is something that we could do
• 54:22
  Speaker 1: to like just ground people right now in this moment.
• 54:25
  Speaker 1: I would love to are you guys all going to
• 54:27
  Speaker 1: do with me? Sure? Okay? I want to ask everybody
• 54:31
  Speaker 1: right now listening connecting to the sound of my voice
• 54:34
  Speaker 1: Angela and v Shar come into a relaxed state with
• 54:39
  Speaker 1: your body, and I want to invite you to gently
• 54:42
  Speaker 1: close your eyes and if you can just uncross your
• 54:46
  Speaker 1: arms a little bit and let your back sit really supported,
• 54:50
  Speaker 1: let your spine feel straight and supported. And I want
• 54:54
  Speaker 1: you to just notice your body now with your eyes closed,
• 54:57
  Speaker 1: and notice how your seat feels, how you feel in
• 55:01
  Speaker 1: your seat, and just see if there's an opportunity to
• 55:05
  Speaker 1: feel a little softer inside of your body right now
• 55:08
  Speaker 1: in this moment. Release any tension that maybe in your shoulders.
• 55:15
  Speaker 1: Let your forearms just be really gently on the tops
• 55:19
  Speaker 1: of your thighs. Maybe turn your palms upward into a
• 55:22
  Speaker 1: state of receiving. Unclench your jaw if there's any pressure present,
• 55:30
  Speaker 1: and now let yourself just stretch your neck a little
• 55:32
  Speaker 1: bit from side to side. Your eyes are closed, and
• 55:39
  Speaker 1: now let's connect to our breath first. Begin to notice
• 55:44
  Speaker 1: how your natural breath is feeling in your body, how
• 55:48
  Speaker 1: it feels in your chest, in and out, supporting your existence.
• 55:56
  Speaker 1: And I want to invite you to take your right
• 55:58
  Speaker 1: hand and place it over your chest, right at your
• 56:02
  Speaker 1: heart center. And now just notice what that pressure of
• 56:07
  Speaker 1: your hand feels like. Would you like it to be
• 56:10
  Speaker 1: a firmer touch, a lighter touch. Can the palm of
• 56:15
  Speaker 1: your hand connect to the core of your heart? And
• 56:19
  Speaker 1: just notice the support that you feel in your body
• 56:23
  Speaker 1: holding yourself in this way. And now we're going to
• 56:27
  Speaker 1: begin some deep breathing through our noses. We're going to
• 56:31
  Speaker 1: do some big inhales through her nose and then out
• 56:35
  Speaker 1: of our nose, and we'll do this three times together.
• 56:39
  Speaker 1: And what we're looking to do is take a big
• 56:43
  Speaker 1: deep inhale, slowly fully starting now filling your chest and
• 56:51
  Speaker 1: really stretched, take it a little more air, and then
• 56:54
  Speaker 1: hold the air at the top. Once it's in, allow
• 56:58
  Speaker 1: it to circulate for a moment. And now as we
• 57:02
  Speaker 1: breathe out of our nose, I want you to do
• 57:04
  Speaker 1: it slowly and fully, really pace yourself on that exhale,
• 57:09
  Speaker 1: let it all come out. And now we'll begin that
• 57:13
  Speaker 1: breath again and through your nose, let your chest expand
• 57:21
  Speaker 1: your heart open, hold it and release. And now begin
• 57:31
  Speaker 1: again in through your nose and hold it and release
• 57:42
  Speaker 1: that breath. And I still gently closed, hand over heart,
• 57:47
  Speaker 1: allow yourself to return to whatever breath feels natural and
• 57:52
  Speaker 1: nourishing and internally right now, silently to yourself, I'd like
• 58:00
  Speaker 1: you to repeat, I am calling forward my highest self.
• 58:06
  Speaker 1: I am calling forward my highest self. I am calling
• 58:11
  Speaker 1: forward my highest self. I am calling forward my highest self.
• 58:18
  Speaker 1: And I want you to think about something currently present
• 58:21
  Speaker 1: in your life, something that has charged it could be
• 58:25
  Speaker 1: perceived as good as challenging, but something that you've really
• 58:30
  Speaker 1: been chewing on lately. Some dynamic may be in your
• 58:33
  Speaker 1: life or relationship, or something you're excited about. I would
• 58:39
  Speaker 1: just want you to hold that seat in your mind's eye,
• 58:42
  Speaker 1: whatever is unique to you that you are working with
• 58:45
  Speaker 1: in this moment, and I want you to think about
• 58:51
  Speaker 1: any nourishing or evolutionary choices or lens of perceptions that
• 58:58
  Speaker 1: you can shift to around whatever this morsel is that
• 59:03
  Speaker 1: you're chewing on, whatever is present. Is it about surrendering,
• 59:09
  Speaker 1: Is it about an action step, or is it just
• 59:13
  Speaker 1: an observation something that can be released and now based
• 59:19
  Speaker 1: on your unique experience that you're holding in your mind
• 59:23
  Speaker 1: and your heart, I want you to think of an
• 59:26
  Speaker 1: intention around it. And maybe it is my intention is
• 59:31
  Speaker 1: to release this, or my intention is to really feel
• 59:38
  Speaker 1: all of this, or my intention is to manifest this
• 59:47
  Speaker 1: and silently within your own hearts to yourselves, I want
• 59:51
  Speaker 1: you to state that intention my intention is, and you
• 59:56
  Speaker 1: can do it inside in this moment, and everyone connecting
• 59:59
  Speaker 1: to the sound of my voice listening, I hope you're
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 1: doing the same. And now we're gonna do a cleansing
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 1: lion's breath, which is gonna be a deep inhale through
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 1: your nose, and then it'll be followed out by signing
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 1: it out through your mouth with your tongue out and
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 1: it'll sound a little like this. So we'll begin our
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 1: inhale now through our noses and release through your mouth,
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 1: and now shake out your hand that was on your heart,
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 1: allow it to drop back down to the tops of
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 1: your thighs, and as you feel ready, gently open your eyes. Ah,
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 1: how do you guys? How can I want to sleep?
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 1: Just that I want to do that. I want to
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 1: I've been telling iHeart for the longest. We need a
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 1: mindfulness minute on the radio during the middays. I've screamed
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 1: it to a million different executives. It needs to happen.
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 1: People need that, And you know that experience that we
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 1: just did. If everyone could start and end their day
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 1: like that, we'll probably spent maybe a minute there, right.
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 1: If I wasn't talking and you just did the breath
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 1: with myself, maybe thirty seconds. That is a daily practice.
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 1: What we just did that was breathwork. So that's an
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 1: experience that you can invite into your life to regulate
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 1: your nervousness. Because what was happening internally as we did
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 1: that was our body was able to come into the
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 1: present moment. We were in the moment of what is
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 1: We were inside of our bodies. Many people that heard
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 1: my voice were connecting to parts of their bodies for
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 1: the first time. If you're under deep stress or you
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 1: have had trauma, you don't feel present in your body,
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 1: and so to just be able to settle into yourself
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 1: and then to give yourself that nourishing breath that resets
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 1: your emotional center, it changes what's possible. The thing about trauma, depression, stress, anxiety,
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 1: it limits what's possible in your life because it limits
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 1: the choices you make and how you view yourself. When
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 1: you have daily practice and when you do a breath
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 1: like that, it reconnects you to the truth of who
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 1: you are. When you're coming from your authenticity, when you're
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 1: not triggered, and from that space, it's limitless because you're
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 1: able to make endless amounts of choices of who you'll be,
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 1: how you'll behave, what you'll do. And that's what so
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 1: many of us need. We just need to be able
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 1: to be anchored into the moment, to feel like ourselves
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 1: inside so that we can make the decisions that really
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 1: honor our lives. If you do a panic attacks, anxiety
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 1: attacks at work, school, whatever it is, like that gets
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 1: you right back to where you need to be, well,
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 1: thank you so much. Brand tell them where to follow you.
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 1: Death heit me on Instagram at Debbie Brown, my website
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 1: Debbie Brown and on Amazon Prime Video. Watch the Sessions.
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 1: It is an incredible, incredible documentary by Religion of Sports, myself,
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 1: Deepak Chopra, and NBA superstar Draymond Green. Are there going
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 1: to be other sessions? There are going to be other sessions, um,
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 1: and we're really excited. I can't say anything yet, but
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 1: we're really excited about how that is going to unfold.
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 1: But that is definitely the intention. You know, Um, one
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 1: of the things I love about the work that I
• 1:03:32
  Speaker 1: do is supporting people who have lives of high impact.
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 1: You know, when you can show up in this life
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 1: of impact that you're living as all of yourself, how
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 1: you're actually meant to change the world becomes more alive
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 1: and more possible. And pick up DeBie Brown's book, Crystal
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 1: Bliss Your Devil was talking about Crystal's Way before everybody
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 1: else was. That book dropped in with twenty fourteen. Yeah fourteen,
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 1: like yeah. And make sure you subscribed to Devi's podcast
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 1: Dropping Gyms on the Black Effect podcast Network. There's so many,
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 1: you know, high level conscious conversations on that podcast, So
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 1: make sure you subscribe to that. Black Effect's Breakfast Club
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 1: is Debbie Rap