Latest / Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha / Rabbi Moshe Haber Path of the Just -The Grounded Mind: Finding Humility in Our Flaws 2.23.26

Transcript

Rabbi Moshe Haber Path of the Just -The Grounded Mind: Finding Humility in Our Flaws 2.23.26 · Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha

• 0:00
  That's how a person attains real humility.
• 0:05
  And humility in this sense really is out to, you know, the
• 0:09
  foundation of character and the way we explain how the core of
• 0:14
  humility is in your mind. I can't just being the way you
• 0:17
  act when you talk to other people, that you treat other
• 0:19
  people. It has a start and really has to
• 0:22
  end in your mind. Once you have it built very
• 0:24
  strongly in your mind, everything can go from there.
• 0:27
  So he says, how do you do that? So we were explaining last week
• 0:30
  that every successful person that you know of their life is a
• 0:34
  perfect storm of success, which means if you pull out just one
• 0:38
  variable from their life, that success that you know about
• 0:42
  would not be there. And they lived in a different
• 0:45
  age if they had different upbringing, different family,
• 0:49
  different sort of financial circumstances, and they got if
• 0:53
  they took the other job right, all these different examples
• 0:58
  that they lived in a different city, 1,000,000 examples, they
• 1:00
  would not be where they are today.
• 1:02
  So their success is one way or another.
• 1:03
  That's so financial for now, the successes are a perfect storm.
• 1:07
  And if you keep that in mind, it helps you become humble because
• 1:11
  it tells you no matter what I have that's going on for me, I'm
• 1:14
  aware it's not me. That's the number one foundation
• 1:17
  of humility in the mind. And secondly, as hope bring
• 1:22
  aside as you know bring how do you remain humble the mind you
• 1:25
  see a flaw of yourself, which means although we're supposed to
• 1:28
  be very confident and have great self-confidence or pro self
• 1:31
  esteem or beautiful and humility does not mean does not require a
• 1:35
  lack of self esteem. There is an angle there's a need
• 1:39
  to see yourself as somewhat flawed to be aware that there's
• 1:43
  more to go. It's helpful for every other
• 1:45
  area of Judaism when you tell yourself that I have more to go.
• 1:49
  And it's also helpful to be normal around other people.
• 1:52
  If a guy does not accept the fact that he has something
• 1:55
  missing in his life, something missing in his qualities, then
• 1:59
  it's very difficult to remain humble.
• 2:01
  Now you're just forcing me to strap myself down when I really
• 2:05
  think I'm the most gifted existence possible.
• 2:07
  But I'm just telling myself I'm humbled because I believe it
• 2:10
  came from Hashem. It's hard to do so.
• 2:11
  You need to see your flaws. Let's see it together.
• 2:14
  Ha navabe mashava humility in your mind.
• 2:17
  Hush. It's born in.
• 2:19
  It's born in Adam, where a person understands they eat
• 2:23
  Ahmed and he clarifies estlash en hatila bacavoto.
• 2:29
  First of all, the praise and the honor that he's given is not
• 2:33
  deserving to him Kaushikan and all the more so hait nassen al
• 2:38
  sharpen a Mina. The idea of him being in a more
• 2:43
  of a powerful position, a position over other people that
• 2:47
  is definitely not deserved to him resemble Penet Mashik
• 2:52
  Hassen. That's because he has some sort
• 2:55
  of like some sort of void in some area.
• 2:59
  The government model Chicwari Espiado weather base and what he
• 3:02
  has already or weather base is lacking.
• 3:04
  Meaning if anybody has them in a pursuit and I first analyzed
• 3:08
  what he's lacking that for sure we'll build a picture in his
• 3:12
  mind to recognize I don't deserve to be in a position.
• 3:15
  It's overpowering, overbearing, tough talking down to other
• 3:19
  people. Kiev Charlotte Adam, It's
• 3:24
  impossible for a person, no matter what position he's in,
• 3:29
  even if he's this close to being a perfect person, even a guy who
• 3:36
  is very high on the scale, it's impossible for him to tell
• 3:40
  himself, I don't have a lot of areas that I'm missing that I
• 3:44
  want to go or meets or whether it be because his nature just
• 3:49
  not perfect, his own personal nature, he's just not perfect.
• 3:52
  And the way he talks and the way he thinks and the way he acts
• 3:55
  and what he does, he's not perfect.
• 3:57
  No one's perfect. All meets Adam mish facto or
• 4:00
  Kuravov or maybe he has an uncle that gives him a little
• 4:03
  embarrassment or maybe a relative, maybe something go on
• 4:07
  in his family that gives him some pause to talk to himself
• 4:10
  and say, listen, I'm not everything.
• 4:12
  All meets on Mikirim Shikarullo suddenly happened in his past.
• 4:15
  There's so many different ways that you can humble a person,
• 4:19
  and the reason Hashem puts these things in our background, in our
• 4:23
  life, in our nature is to keep us grounded.
• 4:26
  The great example, the greatest example of belief there's with
• 4:30
  the camera talks about the fact that you don't appoint a leader
• 4:34
  to be a leader unless they have koopa.
• 4:37
  So should that seem as to have a little item, a basket, a box of
• 4:44
  bugs dangling from their neck, What does that mean?
• 4:47
  Unless they have something in their past that's embarrassing
• 4:52
  hanging over them, you do not appoint them to be a leader
• 4:55
  unless they have that going on one second.
• 4:57
  So we look for the criteria of a leader.
• 4:59
  If I were searching, I look for the perfect background, the
• 5:02
  purest lineage, the cleanest story, and say you're the
• 5:06
  leader. Why would I look for someone
• 5:08
  Kupasia, Should that seem someone that's got a box of bugs
• 5:12
  dangling from his neck, which means a history that has a
• 5:16
  degree of embarrassment. And who's the example that we
• 5:19
  bring that this mis dash is quoted by Mushira Banu.
• 5:23
  Mushira Banu. Whether is I'm not sure which
• 5:26
  one they bring as his background, whether the fact
• 5:28
  that he had to run away. He lived out of Messiah.
• 5:31
  Well, those years wasn't among our people who he married.
• 5:35
  He married a woman that wasn't really part of our families,
• 5:37
  right? Why?
• 5:39
  Why do you need to have this is the background because they need
• 5:42
  to have a humbler, A humbling factor, something that's going
• 5:46
  to keep them at Bay. You every person needs to be
• 5:49
  down to earth. Every individual needs to be
• 5:52
  down to earth. You can accept the fact that you
• 5:54
  want to be down to earth. You can say in your mind, I'm a
• 5:57
  down to earth guy. I'm low key.
• 5:59
  You know the you know, the people who become CE OS of
• 6:01
  company and they try to carry themselves as a low key.
• 6:03
  They walk among the people. They go into the factory.
• 6:06
  They asked them how their day is going.
• 6:08
  Very nice. And you walk outside, you walk
• 6:11
  onto your private jet and you're lost, right.
• 6:13
  They're acting low key officially, but as distant as he
• 6:17
  gets on low key, Hashem makes the person low key no matter
• 6:21
  what. He keeps you grounded.
• 6:23
  How does He keep you grounded? He gives you something in your
• 6:25
  family, something in your life, something that's a little bit
• 6:29
  humbling, whether it's a child or, or something going on in his
• 6:31
  background or relative, something.
• 6:35
  And this is done by design. This is not like someone could
• 6:38
  look at their family and say, I'm 80% pure.
• 6:41
  If only I didn't have that, I'd be perfectly pure.
• 6:44
  I wish I was, you know, as they say in the in the Harry Potter
• 6:48
  world. Do you watch the red Harry
• 6:50
  Potter? What's a perfect person, Pure
• 6:54
  blood person, right? Pure blood.
• 6:56
  It means they have nothing in them and in their background
• 7:00
  that is outside of that world. Lucidry Sandy is true when it
• 7:04
  comes to you know, some people, but a hotel is not in the
• 7:08
  mansion Ave. at all. I surprised myself in the fact
• 7:14
  and I'm 100% asswife. That means parents, both their
• 7:20
  parents right and go up and up. I don't know where you can find
• 7:24
  that she can has anywhere in the lineage.
• 7:26
  OK, and to me that was like I'm pure blood.
• 7:29
  I'm not, you're not, but it's nonsense, obviously.
• 7:33
  But the point is, is that if you find somewhere in your lineage,
• 7:37
  somewhere in your family, something that is not the
• 7:42
  perfect of the perfect you want, that perfect does not mean you
• 7:45
  have to be as white, but the perfect of what you want.
• 7:48
  That is there by design. Because I shouldn't want to keep
• 7:51
  us all down to earth, to keep us grounded, keep us normal.
• 7:56
  Why? Because every time you interact
• 7:58
  with another person and nature is talked out to them.
• 8:02
  The nature of our structure is if I have something, if I'm the
• 8:07
  wisest person in this room, in this earth area, my nature is
• 8:10
  talk down. If I'm the smartest person, a
• 8:12
  certain thing, if I have the best advice in a certain area,
• 8:15
  if I have the most money, all these things push me to talk
• 8:19
  down based on that concept. That leads to an arrogant
• 8:24
  mindset and that leads to a problem.
• 8:26
  And therefore God created for all of us.
• 8:29
  Cooperation should not seem something that's humbling in our
• 8:33
  background, our family, something that happened in our
• 8:35
  past. All meet some Masaf Shaddam and
• 8:39
  Sadiq Bahitz. Maybe something I did once,
• 8:41
  something I did embarrassing as a child, saying I did early on
• 8:44
  in my years. Henko ELE, mumim Bahadam, these
• 8:49
  all blemishes. Shame money him on the call.
• 8:54
  We do not want to give this person a feeling of arrogance, a
• 8:58
  feeling you a feeling about Malotra bought the guys as
• 9:01
  gifted as gifted gets. Everything's going for him.
• 9:05
  We give him a fool. Why give him that floor?
• 9:07
  Keep him down to earth. Why?
• 9:09
  So he doesn't allow himself to float him above the people, to
• 9:13
  carry himself above the people, to naturally talk down.
• 9:17
  He needs to be grounded. You need to be a human being.
• 9:20
  You need to act like human being.
• 9:21
  The essence of a human being is a flawed existence.
• 9:24
  That doesn't mean you don't have gifts, and it doesn't mean I'm
• 9:28
  proud of your gifts. At this point, you are proud of
• 9:30
  your gifts, but you're aware and you're a very self aware person.
• 9:35
  The best kind of people to be around, forget the medal of
• 9:38
  humility alone. The best kind of people to be
• 9:40
  around are people who are self aware.
• 9:43
  Why is software a great trait? Because they're talking to you
• 9:47
  like human beings. They're recognizing where
• 9:49
  they're holding. They're not talking from a
• 9:51
  cloud. They're not impossible to talk
• 9:53
  to, right? Why is it so important for a
• 9:56
  person to be grounded? If they're grounded and they're
• 9:59
  here, if they're grounded and they're relevant to normal
• 10:03
  conversation, if they are carrying themselves in that
• 10:06
  cloud and they deserve to because they have a perfect
• 10:09
  background, naturally, they're just not going to be deal with
• 10:13
  life as is. You need to be grounded.
• 10:16
  And so humility, actually, and the floor is your greatest
• 10:20
  strength. Your floor and your background
• 10:22
  is the greatest strength to make you human.
• 10:25
  And being human is the greatest gift to being present, right?
• 10:29
  Any parent who thinks he's too gifted, it's hard to talk to his
• 10:32
  children. Same with their grandparents.
• 10:34
  Yeah, they see when grandparents become a little bit more drifted
• 10:37
  away, which means they become a little bit more old on the years
• 10:42
  or not so connected to the children, whoever may be, They
• 10:46
  have a harder time. Stop making, handling, seeing
• 10:49
  flaws, seeing weaknesses. They can't handle it.
• 10:52
  Why can't they handle it? Because they don't relate to
• 10:53
  that. You don't relate only because
• 10:55
  you're not around that anymore. But the truth of the matter is
• 10:58
  that's how children are. That's how people are.
• 11:01
  And if you were in a parent mode, you'd be talking to them
• 11:04
  normally and looking over this mistake and that mistake and
• 11:08
  dealing with them like people. It's only because you're
• 11:10
  distant. So arrogance or a sense of
• 11:13
  perfection creates distance. Distance removes you from the
• 11:18
  conversation, be removed from the conversation, makes it
• 11:21
  impossible for you to be able to interact and develop and help
• 11:26
  and push. The best thing to be is to be
• 11:28
  relatable is to be down to earth.
• 11:31
  It's to be present, it's to be here.
• 11:35
  And the greatest way of getting to that point are the parts of
• 11:39
  your life, the parts that you wish to forget, the flaws, the
• 11:43
  challenges, the embarrassing moments, the parts that hold you
• 11:47
  grounded like Moshe RA Ben or out of the speech impediment.
• 11:50
  That's the greatest thing you ever happened to him because it
• 11:52
  made him in a sense not to be carried as if he were an Angel
• 11:57
  and made them be here. And when you're here, you can
• 12:00
  relate, you can talk to people, you could be concerned about
• 12:02
  people. It can be normal.
• 12:04
  The moment you're above is the moment it's dangerous.
• 12:07
  And that's why that's how you create humility in the mind.
• 12:10
  And that's what humility mind is so significant.
• 12:14
  It created to the recognition that I'm flawed one way or
• 12:19
  another. Based on that, I'm here, I'm
• 12:22
  present, I'm relevant, I'm normal, and therefore I'm
• 12:25
  gifted. You know the guy Yesterday, just
• 12:27
  to throw on Hockey reference, I was listening, I was seeing some
• 12:31
  interviews with this guy. So the guy was going to go from
• 12:34
  my team, right? Jewish.
• 12:36
  Yeah. He's from bigger things from my
• 12:37
  team, Devils that all, all bigger than that team, the
• 12:41
  Yahoo. Yahoo team.
• 12:43
  Zach Hughes. So the big thing that he has
• 12:46
  going for him, tell us the big thing he has going for him is
• 12:50
  that he's dealing with injuries in general in his in his actual
• 12:54
  career. And because there were injuries,
• 12:56
  he's beating down emotionally from all his injuries.
• 13:00
  And he's, you know, he was really rookie of the year.
• 13:02
  He came in. Yeah, high flying, no more pick
• 13:07
  that we picked, right? Yeah, high flying guy.
• 13:10
  And he Right. Exactly.
• 13:13
  You guys don't. So, but the point is that he has
• 13:16
  a degree of of low keenness because of the fact and
• 13:22
  therefore extra excitement right now for the scoring, his goal,
• 13:25
  being on top of the world. A lot of it is based on the fact
• 13:29
  that he's a little bit ashamed at the fact that he's not living
• 13:33
  up to his name, to his career. Absolutely.
• 13:36
  Wow. You watch it, they send in the
• 13:38
  interview and you can see it on his face.
• 13:40
  There's a part of him that is ashamed that he's not carrying
• 13:43
  out his career the way our team would like it.
• 13:46
  I listen. I'm not so happy, but it plays
• 13:48
  into this and maybe Aleene's fan to win the golden.
• 13:51
  Conversely, the person, the Canadian, the McKinnon said.
• 13:55
  You saw how you play, you be the judge who was the better team
• 13:57
  and they lost, conversely. OK, try that at home.
• 14:00
  All right, look at that. This for you be out again after
• 14:03
  you lose. That's great.
• 14:03
  That's very helpful. But the the reason maybe the
• 14:06
  reason this guy got it and the reason he has a certain you
• 14:09
  know, a certain style to him is because it was embarrassment and
• 14:13
  just an example. He can't to mind right now.
• 14:14
  But the truth is, any person, a little bit of Loki, a little bit
• 14:18
  of shame creates a lot of pride. That's the idea.
• 14:21
  OK, we'll stop with that.